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The event was…something. It was definitely something Eric decides. Because the amount of confusion and negativity both chats had about the Redbull competition showed how scuffed and frustrating the event was. Not his fault but he could’ve done way better producing, directing, and hosting it if he had the chance.
The one positive he saw out of this was spending time with Tanner. Tanner Charles “SmallAnt” Minecraft. Tanner the guy he fought with for two years. Tanner the man he idolized and never thought would love his content when he first started streaming. Definitely not Tanner the guy he crushed on for years without anyone but maybe possibly Abby knowing. And absolutely not Tanner Minecraft who is very straight and not into men. But it’s also the same Tanner who was accepting and very kind of all of his faults.
His emotions are so fucked Eric thinks.
“Alright we have one night to do whatever the fuck you want before flying back to Canada. I’m surprised you still planned a stream tomorrow,” Eric says. Eric offered to drive them back to his apartment for a free night on the couch and a couple of free meals. It’s the least he could do for a friend.
He grabs their DoorDash meals from the front door to think of food, and definitely not Tanner.
“You know me, gotta get on that gamer grind set,” Tanner kicks his feet up onto the couch, placing his hands behind his head. “Kinda like having a butler at this bed and breakfast. And chauffeured too! No wonder rich people do it all the time,”
Eric barks a laugh. “Consider this an act of kindness! If you weren’t my houseguest I’d kick you out onto the streets for that comment!”
He can practically feel the sassy aura and smirk Tanner is sporting. “But my butler likes me way too much to kick me out,”
Play it cool, keep it cool, Eric knows Tanner means “like” in a friendly matter and not “dying to kiss him in that moment” matter.
“Keep calling me your butler and I might have to rescind all my friendliness,” sasses Eric. Yup, he’s doing good. He’s playing cool.
"Fine, fine. I could at least give you some cash for the gas and meal you got me," says Tanner. He whips out his phone from his pocket to open up PayPal.
Eric places the food onto the coffee table then gently pushes Tanner's phone away from him. "Hey, I said it's fine! It's the least I can do 'cause of...you know, yeah..."
Tanner sighs. He lays his phone screen-down onto his chest. "It's in the past, Eric, it's okay!"
"Sometimes I feel like it's not. I could've done so much to make this easier on both of us, and I didn't," Eric looks away from Tanner.
Tanner grabs Eric's hand. "Hey, none of that negative talk. We're human and we make mistakes. You're anxious, I'm autistic, and we're not perfect by all means. We can play that up for our audiences as much as we want, but at the end of the day we're people too. Not just celebrities, not just content creators, just weird-ass gamers that can't play games right super fast,"
"Yeah. I guess speedrunners make mistakes once in a while," Eric trails off. He's got a point. They are just people. Friends have fallouts and make up all the time.
"See? There ya go, Eric! Now you're getting it," Tanner sits up, swings his long legs off the couch, and stands up immediately. "You got Spotify? We can play my playlist while we eat. Not really in the mood to watch a stream tonight,"
"Yeah. Not sure if you like any EDM or pop. Got lots of game OST's though,"
"Don't hate them, but I prefer rap. Some pop but not like bubblegum pop,"
"Alright I don't mind rap. I've got some too on my liked songs playlists,"
"You got the Fortnite Battlepass song?" Tanner giggles. Eric's heart is flipping because Tanner giggled.
"Fuck no! Why would I?" Eric cringes at the suggestion. "Then do you have a certain Frank Sinatra song?"
Tanner slaps his arm in pure jest. "You ask that one more time and I'm telling everyone you ironically listen to Fortnite songs,"
"Ew, gross, I don't need Fortnite in my recommendations. I'm a cringe streamer, not a pre-teen pubescent mess,"
"Speaking of messes, today was a fucking disaster. Like, everything was so scuffed to the point I can't believe we had to do Fortnite gauntlets!" Tanner complains.
"I know! I don't know how I won by the end of the shitty games! The quizzes were really cool but I was expecting maybe Pokémon or Zelda games. Not something we barely played," Eric was absolutely exasperated by it all. Thank God it's over.
Tanner presses play on his playlist and a rap song comes on over the speakers. "I had to do emote dances. I don't usually dance, dude. I suck ass at dancing," He scoffs.
"You were great at dancing! I loved your flossing, and I bet chat loved it too. They loved my griddy!" says Eric. "So great at any dance move you throw at me,"
Tanner throws his head back and gives a hearty laugh. His laugh is doing something to Eric whether he likes it or not. The little crow's feet Tanner is developing by his eyes and the sweet smile he has isn't making this easier for Eric to move on. He wants to move on, and his heart isn't letting him. Why?
"You ever ballroom danced? Like, dancing in a square in those Disney princess movies?" Tanner asks.
Eric's turn to scoff. "Like at school dances. Been a while though. I was joking about being a great dancer but I basically have two left feet," Eric turns to find Tanner staring at him pensively.
"You can't be that bad," Tanner quips.
"Try me,"
"Sure," the song ends abruptly and Tanner switches the song to something slower, more tempo isn't as upbeat. More intimate.
"What?" Eric crosses his arms and steps back. He's not sure how to approach this.
"Can I have this dance?" Tanner stretches out a hand to the younger streamer.
Eric senses no malice or teasing from Tanner. The older man has a strange look in his eyes but Eric wants to trust it. So he takes his hand.
“Follow my lead. Your left on my shoulder and your right in my left. And relax,” Tanner’s voice is barely above a whisper.
The American can’t help but nod. Following the directions hands fall into place as the men begin to dance around the living room. The song starts with a piano’s melody then blends into a smooth, deep voice singing the lyrics. But Eric can’t be bothered to listen to the music when Tanner is guiding him around the room like its second nature.
“I’ve never done this before, not leading my dance partner, I mean,” Eric’s words stumble a little, too busy thinking about where to place his feet next.
“That’s fine. I’ve done both roles for this etiquette class as a kid. Kinda remember how to do it,” explains Tanner. “Try not to look down at your feet. Try looking at me while listening to the rhythm of the song. Step with me,”
Eric once again nods. A blush creeps up his face; he can’t stop it. He gazes into Tanner’s dark eyes as he focus on the tempo of the song. The crow’s feet around Tanner’s eyes crinkle with the soft smile he gives Eric. Tanner squeezes his hand, and the tempo picks up.
Eric is suddenly spinning with Tanner gliding them across the room. They’re not out of control nor are they too centered. Their giggles flow with their bodies, step by step and twist and turn, when the music is picking up with the orchestra accompanying the first piano. Both men can’t take their eyes of the other. They’re having too much fun to look anywhere else but the person in front of them.
Just as sudden as the music starts, it begins to disappear. Tanner lets go of Eric’s right hand to wrap both of his arms around Eric’s shoulders. Eric elects to let his arms rest on Tanner’s waist.
They stopped dancing around in a circle, almost crawling to a snail’s pace. The music in the background dissipates as silence blares in his ears. All he can focus on are the arms around his shoulders and the man holding him close.
If this was a movie, this was the part where the guy kisses the girl.
But it’s not a movie, and I’m not a girl, Eric thinks. Because Tanner’s straight. And I’m a mess.
He must have been looking down because Tanner is tilting his chin up. “We’re still dancing. I need you to keep looking at me,”
”Oh, sorry,” was all Eric could say. He manages to look at Tanner’s face for but a moment then looking away.
“Remember to relax. If you don’t want to continue, we can stop,” Tanner is whispering again.
“I don’t know if I want to stop…” The words fall out of his mouth before Eric can stop them.
“I don’t want this to end either, Eric,” says Tanner.
”I’m not sure if you mean this. Want this,”
“Eric, trust me, I want this,”
”I don’t think you do, not with how I’ve been. Not with how I treated you,” Tears are threatening to spill out and the spinning is hurting Eric’s head.
Tanner lifts Eric’s chin to meet his eyes again as he says: ”Then let me show you I do,”
Soft lips meets Eric’s. Both pairs of lips are trembling, a sign of fear of rejection. Eric doesn’t want to reject this. He pulls Tanner closer to deepen the kiss. The song was long over but its intimate tone lingers. They love each other.
Breaking apart the need of air divides them. Eric couldn’t believe he played himself the fool into thinking his feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated.
“I didn’t know you liked guys,” Eric says.
”I don’t really like guys—I like you,” Tanner replies. He pecks Eric’s forehead to punctuate his claim.
”I never thought you’d like me back,” the American pauses to consider his next words. “Not with how everything went,”
”I’ve liked you since we did our first bingo race,”
”But, t-that’s so long ago!”
”What about you then?”
”This is embarrassing but it was a celebrity crush back when I was in college…”
Tanner chuckles at the thought of a younger Eric gushing over him acknowledging a comment in chat. “That’s so cute,”
“Not really,” Eric retorts. “I was clumsy and weird and don’t know how to handle feelings and people,”
”We both do,” Tanner pecks Eric’s cheek this time. “From now on, let’s communicate properly,”
“Yeah. I will,” Eric shyly returns a kiss to Tanner’s cheek now. “I promise. Right now I just want to hold you close. Can we dance more?”
Tanner pulls out his phone and quickly selects loop on the current song. “Yeah, we can dance more. Just follow my lead,”
The streamers didn’t tire of the song repeating over and over while dancing the night away. It became their song.