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Giuseppe walked slowly through the small town that had popped up around Peppino's pizzeria and the NTV tower since Pizzahead's fall. His agents were spread out, discreetly keeping an eye on the few people he was worried about. So far, they'd not reported anything unusual - other than the biggest Peppino clone chasing the Noise into NTV. The residents didn't seem to know how to respond to Giuseppe - some greeted him cautiously, others eyed him suspiciously. A few seemed like they wanted to take swing at him, but thought better of it.
He looked around, surprised at what he saw. This is actually pretty nice - populated, but quiet. I think I'll like living here. He'd thought about seeing if he could track down Anita, but she'd made it very clear the last time they spoke she wanted to be alone. The thought stabbed him in the heart, as it always did. After Gustavo died, her heart broke. So did mine. She'd left the force not long after, and disappeared into the wild like she'd said she wanted to.
Giuseppe hoped she was still alive.
Suddenly someone slapped him in the back of the head. Che diavolo-?
"Hey, fat man, you out for a walk?" A sneering voice spoke behind him. "Finally decided to-"
Noise squeaked like a rubber ducky as Giuseppe wrapped a hand around his neck and lifted him off the ground. "Eeep," he managed to work through the iron grip.
Giuseppe gave him his most malicious grin. "You must be that one Peppino mentioned. The Noise."
"Ygs," Noise gargled. Oh crap, this isn't Peppino! This guy's gonna use me for a chew toy!
"You seem to be mistaken. I'm his brother, Giuseppe. I'll be moving here soon. We may look alike, but I'm not my brother. I suggest you remember that. I may not play so...nice."
Noise gargled. Peppino didn't play nice with him at all. It cost him a lot of money to keep getting his teeth replaced.
About that time, an official-looking Cheeseslime oozed up. "There a problem here, sir?"
Giuseppe looked down at the Cheeseslime. This one wore boots, gloves, a badge, and a cowboy hat, and had a hard look in his eyes. In fact, one of his eyes was focused on him, with a cross-hair design that looked very familiar. He smiled. "No, sir, no problem. Just a little case of mistaken identity." He released the Noise, who gasped. "Isn't that right, sir?"
Noise nodded vigorously. "Oh yeah, definitely. I was just saying sorry. Later, Vigi!" he called over his shoulder as he ran off.
Vigi looked up at Giuseppe. "You do look mighty like Peppino." He left the sentence hanging, and Giuseppe let it hang. Finally, Vigi hrmphed, then grinned. "You look like you could fold 'im up like a pretzel, 'stead of just knocking his teeth in. The Noise can be a problem, I apologize. But try not to hurt 'im too much, eh?"
Giuseppe smiled back. He understood perfectly. "Absolutely, officer, sorry it came to that. He took me by surprise, that's all. No harm intended."
Vigi nodded. "Good, good. Heard you say you were movin' here? We got lots of places bein' built. Glad to have you here, long as you don't cause trouble." He handed him a pamphlet. "Here's some suggestions if you don't already know."
"Thank you, Sheriff. I already have some prospects, but I'll keep this in mind." Giuseppe saluted by reflex.
Vigi saluted back. "Another war vet, eh? I was too young, but my pappy was in it. He didn't come back." He shook his head. "You lookin' for work? I could use good people like you. We don't have many trained yet."
"Thank you, but no, I'm looking to retire," Giuseppe said, "perhaps I could give your men some pointers."
"All right," Vigi said. "You change yer mind, you let me know." He saluted again and oozed off.
Giuseppe saluted back and smiled. Not a bad guy. He looked at the brochure. It looked basic, but had a surprising amount of info - housing, restaurants, the works. Everything a new resident would need. That Noise character may own a lot of this, but somebody really loves this place.
He pocketed the brochure and kept walking. Have to make sure to get back to Peppino's tonight, he thought, don't want to miss this...
~~~~
Peppino plopped the mop into the bucket and wiped the sweat from the top of his head with a towel. Done. Drying time, then I can head home. He sat down. On Saturdays he closed the shop and did a thorough cleaning and inventory - cleaned the oven, the windows, the freezer, the floors. Not like we don't during the week, but… Peppino didn't want to admit that he really didn't have much to do outside of work. He'd never had time, or money. His pizzeria was his life. Now he actually had free time occasionally. But for what? He worked with his best friend. His love life had been dead since before he was in the Army. He didn't have any hobbies other than trying out new recipes, and he was in a bit of a rut on that front lately. He patted his belly and snorted. I'd start running, but there's not enough road around here for me to get up to a speed that would be meaningful. And I'd probably break a treadmill. That's the problem with having special abilities - sometimes they get in the way!
He glanced down - the floor was dry already. He hopped down and carried the mop and bucket to the back to dump before he left. Maybe Gustavo's up to something interesting. He glanced out the window - Noisette's Cafe, newly built across the street, was open. Since Peppino's was closed, it was bustling. Maybe I should try the food there. Then he remembered Vigilante telling him about some of Noisette's more interesting "ideas," and thought better of it.
As he turned to go to the back, someone knocked on the door. "Sorry, we're closed! We'll open at eleven tomorrow," he called loudly over his shoulder.
They knocked again. Oh per l'amor del cielo. "I'm SORRY but we're CLOSED!"
Knock knock knock
"FIGLIO DI PUTTANA!" Peppino roared, "can't you read the-!"
He turned around. Giuseppe was standing outside, holding a plastic bag, making a key-turning motion, and grinning.
Peppino slammed his mouth shut, unlocked the door, and let his brother in, locking the door back behind him.
Giuseppe set the bag down. "Haven't heard that one since Anita left the force," he said with a grin. "I found a place over on the other side of town that makes a respectable Chicken Tikka Marsala. Thought you might like to share."
Peppino was surprised. He was planning on eating at home, but... "Well, if you're offering..."
They ate for several minutes in companionable silence, the spicy sauce gently burning on the tongue. Their bellies full, Giuseppe sat back. "Took a walk around this little town today. I think I like it."
Peppino quirked an eyebrow. "I would've thought your people would've told you everything you need to know."
Giuseppe chuckled. "My 'people' are mostly kids, fresh out of training. Good people, smart, but most of them are green. They're too busy looking for threats, so they miss small stuff. And I like to look myself." He spun his finger in a circle. "Most of the experienced ones are out looking for Pizzahead right now. The government has declared him a terrorist for what he's done, and he's a suspect in several disappearances. In fact, that's part of why I'm here. They're making an announcement about it today - in a few minutes, in fact. And the big one about the clones, too."
Peppino's stomach clenched a bit. Should I really be worried? The people around here already know about me and Fake. But… "I hope they're prepared for what happens after."
Giuseppe sighed. "They've made plans, but it'll never be enough. I think it'll mainly be a few firebrands that cause trouble though, and most of them were already being observed. Riots, maybe, protests definitely. All the clones are under protective watch until things calm down." He looked outside, and rubbed the side of his leg, where Peppino realized a wicked-looking pistol was hostered. "I wanted to be here... just in case."
Peppino's eyes bulged a bit. "You don't mean to...?"
Giuseppe looked down and laughed. "Oh, no. This is a little something R&D cooked up. Knock out anything from a Cheeseslime to a pissed-off Ogre in three seconds if you know how to use it." He patted it. "We try to keep it non-lethal when we can."
Peppino relaxed. I still have a lot to learn about him. And how much is he allowed to tell? "You said it would be on soon? Which channel?" He moved to turn the TV on.
"National News should have the clearest coverage," Giuseppe said. "But they'll all be there. This is a big one."
Just as Peppino turned the power on, he heard "-tional News special report." Good timing. He sat back down, both watching intently.
An elderly general walked to a podium. Giuseppe grinned. "Old General Grey," he said, "I thought he retired. He was in charge of our program back during the war. Guess he insisted on being the one to break it." He leaned back, crossing his arms. "He'll tell it straight."
The old general cleared his throat. "Good afternoon. A few months ago, many of you may have heard of the incident known as the Pizza Tower. While this incident was resolved by a group of private citizens, we have had it, and it's owner, under investigation for several years." He cleared his throat again. "Many of you have now heard allegations that one of these citizens encountered several individuals in the Tower that appeared to be clones. While the process involved in the creation of these beings was flawed, we have decided to reveal that cloning is an actual, usable technology."
The room started to erupt in questions, but the General held up a hand. "Please hold all questions until I have concluded." They quieted down. "Thank you. Cloning technology is a form of Old Technology that is quite rare. Thirty years ago, the decision was made to use this technology in conjunction with military training to create a special forces program for this nation. The details are as follows..."
Peppino listened raptly as the General outlined the whole sordid thing: kidnappings, cloning, espionage, and military operations, especially their involvement in the War. The number of clones measured in the hundreds, with more suspected elsewhere.
"...we would like to emphasize that these cloned individuals are considered citizens of this nation, with all the rights and restrictions of a natural-born individual. All the cloned individuals in question have already been briefed on their origins and nature. While we will not be releasing their names for privacy reasons, we leave it to them whether they will reveal their origins. The program in question was disbanded after the last war, and no clones have been produced by our government since. We deeply regret this violation of rights and trust, and will continue to work to make amends for what was deemed, at the time, a necessary evil."
Giuseppe growled. "No offense General, but you can't give us our lives back. Or bring back the ones we lost." He twisted the leather bracelet on his wrist.
The General flipped the sheaf of papers in front of him. "Now, the owner of the Tower, a Ninda individual named Pizzahead, is wanted for questioning on several disappearances. He has also been documented performing various acts considered crimes against sapiency, and as such has formally been declared a terrorist and war criminal. A search for this individual is ongoing by elements of both police forces and our Special Operations branch. We are offering rewards for any information on this individual, and will be glad for any report of his appearance anyone may have." He stood straighter. "Make no mistake. This is a highly unstable individual. He is considered armed and extremely dangerous. If seen, report to either your local police, or a local military branch if possible. We will provide more information when the situation has developed. I will now take any questions you may have."
As the press room exploded with voices, Peppino turned to Giuseppe. "Just like that, the secret's out," Giuseppe said. He looked out the windows - Noisette's Cafe was well lit, and obviously busy. "You want to step across the way and see how people are taking it?"
Peppino hesitated, but nodded. Between the two of us, we should be able to handle any problems. He stood up, turned off the TV, locked up the shop, and together they crossed the street to the Cafe.
"After you," Giuseppe gestured.
Peppino opened the door, and the smell of coffee and new paint struck him. The cafe was full, mostly with Tower residents. In fact, he saw both Vigilante and Pepperman there. Wonder when he got back. Everyone was staring raptly at the TVs on the wall. Noisette saw Peppino, and rushed from behind the counter.
"Oh, Peppino! Did you hear? They made an announcement about the Tower being investigated! And Pizzahead's wanted! I hope they find him! It sounds so scary! I didn't know about any of that! And all that talk about clones, do you think -" she stopped as Giuseppe stepped in. Her mouth formed a perfect "O" of surprise. "Oh, Peppino, I guess you already knew. First the ones in the Tower, and now this! You have a clone!"
Oh Mio Dio, I guess we're doing this now. Peppino scratched his head and smiled nervously. "A-actually Noisette...I'm the clone. This is the original me, Giuseppe."
The cafe went quiet. Vigi jumped down and walked over. He looked up at Giuseppe. "I thought you two looked mighty alike. Thought maybe Peppino had a brother he didn't mention."
Giuseppe cleared his throat. "Honestly, those of us who got cloned actually do consider our clones to be siblings. I couldn't mention it til after the announcement." He held out a hand. "Nice to actually meet you."
The Cheeseslime shook his hand. He looked thoughtful.
Pepperman rushed over to the two, making both jump a bit. A giant bell pepper rushing at you could unnerve anyone. "Peppino! This business is so...unsettling! Clones everywhere! You're a clone!" He gasped. "They said Pizzahead did a great deal of cloning, more than even we knew. What if he cloned...us?"
Many of the patrons whispered in agreement. Rather than his own clone status, they seemed more worried about Pizzahead and his shenanigans. Guess I shouldn't be surprised. These guys have seen a lot of weird shit already.
Giuseppe stepped forward and raised his hands. "Just want to remind you there's a major investigation going on. I can pass on any information you have about Pizzahead's activities that you might think is helpful to the authorities. I'll be in the area for the foreseeable future, at this address," He provided an address in the city, "or report to your local officers. It's very important you provide any information you can, no matter how unimportant it might seem. Pizzahead is dangerous. If any of you notice anything unusually suspicious, report it immediately."
Giuseppe sat down at a vacant table, and Peppino joined him. "Nice speech. Did you plan that?"
"Absolutely not. Just had too much practice. Glad they're reacting well. I bet it's not so quiet elsewhere."
Peppino nodded, as Tower residents approached them with questions and reports.
Pizzahead has the government on him now. It's only a matter of time.
~~~~
Elsewhere, in a dark room, a crumpled figure watched the report condemning Pizzahead. They reached out with a remote, and flicked off thescreen.
"Guess it's a good thing we hid, isn't it?" Strange, grotesque figures huddled around them. One of them made a questioning sound.
"No, not yet. We don't want to ruin the surprise.”