Chapter Text
“I heard Yao Fan might have slipped something into Sha Hualing’s tea last week and that’s why the physician was called. I bet she must’ve miscarried!”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous! As if Lord Luo would let something like that happen!”
“Oh please. He doesn’t care what happens in the harem and you know it! Look, if Yao Fan wants to make an enemy of that bitch, then she can go right ahead. But I’m not in the mood to get my eyes clawed out.”
“Hua Hua, what do you think?”
A woman stopped mid-bite of a pastry, her cheeks puffed up like a hamster. She quickly chewed and swallowed, covering her painted lips with her fan as she cleared her throat. “O-oh? What good is my opinion on such matters?”
“You always stay out of the harem infighting, but somehow you always know what’s going on! Of course you must know what really happened. Do you really think Fan-er would poison Ling-er?”
Oh he did, but there was no way he’d spill the beans! Chuckling at the women seated beneath the garden pavilion with him, he fanned himself idly as he placed a demure hand to his cheek. “Hmm, it’s hard to say. I don’t think Yao Fan would be foolish enough to get caught. But perhaps she was hoping the poison would be enough to kill Sha Hualing? If I had to guess though, I’d assume it might have been for someone else and that our dear sister simply got caught up in the affair.”
The three women all frowned collectively, “That does sound true. Sha Hualing is always sticking her nose around where it doesn’t belong. Maybe she accidentally sniffed where she shouldn’t?”
“Ha! Like a dog! Serves her right!” Snapped the shorter of the four women.
Before they could continue their gossiping however, there came the sound of chimes. They rang throughout the garden and the surrounding buildings, a wordless announcement that their darling husband had returned and was going to be choosing which of his wives he would be staying with tonight. Instantly all three of the women across from “Hua Hua” stood as one, their eyes shining eagerly.
“Will you not be trying to catch Lord Luo’s eye again, Hua Hua?” The shortest girl, Shi Linyi, was newer to the harem and was thus more attached to the eldest of them all, ‘Hua Hua’.
Said person merely waved their fan, eyes crinkling in amusement, “And subject his poor eyes to this old lady? I think not. No, let you beauties have the spotlight.”
“Hua Hua is by far the prettiest here.” Shi Linyi scowled, her adorable little pout giving one the urge to coo at her. He refrained, though just barely. With shared smiles and promises to meet up another time, ‘Hua Hua’ bid the three women farewell. He watched as they rushed to their rooms in order to get gussied up and await the arrival of their husband.
Husband… Ha! He wasn’t even married to the guy!
Hua Hua– No, Shang Qinghua– wasn't married to Luo Binghe. Hells, as far as his protagonist was concerned, Shang Qinghua was long dead! And if he wanted to remain in his cushy lifestyle, he’d like to keep it that way.
See, this is more or less what happened. In his previous world, Shang Qinghua died. He’d always assumed cup noodles would be the death of him, but through clogged arteries not electrocution! Anyways. So he died and ended up transmigrated into his very own book! Proud Immortal Demons Way! And while that should’ve been cool in any other circumstance, Shang Qinghua was not doing great.
For starters, the world had already gone to shit. Forget the start of the plot, Shang Qinghua was knee deep in the end! Sure it meant he’d avoided the main slaughter, but that’s where the problems started. He’d transmigrated into the Shang Qinghua! Mobei-Jun’s lackey! And what’s worse–! His impending death was fast approaching! Shang Qinghua noticed the plot points after waking up from a “qi deviation”, as the doctors told him.
He’d only met Mobei-Jun once and that was enough to scare Shang Qinghua into passing out with a squeal from sheer terror. Granted it was only for about five minutes. When he woke up again his King was there staring at him in suspicion and confusion. At least he thought it was confusion. And poor little Shang Qinghua nearly had the idea to feign passing out again. Thankfully he was saved from that foolish plan by Mobei-Jun leaving without another word.
From there Shang Qinghua worked like a madman. He had no System, no safety net, and was lacking in any kind of backup plan. So he had to rectify this. If Shang Qinghua didn’t want to die, he had to work fast. There were plenty of potential ways he could try and escape his approaching fate, but none would be effective enough. No matter where he ran to or hid, Mobei-Jun and Luo Binghe would always find him. Of that he had no doubt. That was when Shang Qinghua was suddenly struck by a brilliant idea. If running wasn’t an option… Then why not hide where they’d never expect? If executed perfectly, it would be the most brilliant plan he’s ever crafted.
Shang Qinghua acted fast, leaving a note and setting out in search of a particular plant he wrote about for some wife plot or another. He had to figure out how to fly on a sword right then and there. But thankfully during the attempt, he learned that things the previous Shang Qinghua knew were just ingrained into Shang Qinghua’s very being. Useful! Especially where he’s going.
It took a day of searching to find the cave. Normally Shang Qinghua might’ve been scared of being tracked by Mobei-Jun. But he knew that leading up to Shang Qinghua’s death, Mobei-Jun had begun spending less and less time around the cultivator. His trust in the man was hanging on by a thread. And the previous Shang Qinghua, a fool too lost in his own game and self-serving interests, didn’t even realize that the thread was wrapping around his throat like a noose.
Inside the cave past some demons that Shang Qinghua totally didn’t geek out over, Shang Qinghua found a pretty bland looking bush. It was sitting tucked in a corner. There was an opening in the cave above that cast light down onto a patch of lush earth where flowers and colorful plants sprouted. Only the bush was separate from the light. It grew far enough away that no stray beams could reach it no matter the sun’s angle. Shang Qinghua ignored the priceless healing plants growing around the area and instead made a beeline for that bland bush. And compared to the beauties surrounding him, it couldn’t be blander. With brownish tan leaves, the thing looked as if it was already dried up and dead. This made Shang Qinghua weep with joy. If the leaves were in this state, it meant the plant had yet to be dyed!
This particular plant was something Shang Qinghua had made when he’d been knee deep in that gender dysphoria and wanted something to make himself feel better. If Shang Qinghua couldn’t magically give himself the body he wanted, then he was going to write it into his world and let the characters who wanted it, have it.
The Bush of Shifting Leaves was its name. And its usage was pretty simple. This bush had the ability to temporarily alter a person’s outward gender. If the bush was bathed in sunlight, its leaves would turn black as if scorched. The tea made from those leaves would then give the drinker the body of a man. However if set under the moonlight then those leaves would be dyed with its rays and turn a pearlescent white. This would give the drinker the body of a woman. The effects would last about 24 hours at most. Less if one ate the fruit that would eventually sprout once the plant was dyed. For his plan, Shang Qinghua needed a woman’s body.
So he waited for night before digging the bush out roots and all. He’d packed away a pot just for this so the transfer was easy. Afterwards he only waited till night before dying the bush entirely. When the bark itself changed to a matching white, Shang Qinghua knew it was done. From there he just had to get to Luo Binghe’s palace, use one of the many hidden passages that led to the harem’s wing, and then find one of the many numerous unoccupied rooms.
Luo Binghe by this point had so many damn wives, one suddenly cropping up wouldn’t be out of place. And honestly he was right. For the first few days, Shang Qinghua was sure someone would’ve caught on to his schemes. But no one did. In fact most just accepted his farce of a lie at face value. There were over 200 wives, who was keeping track at this point? Certainly not any of the other harem members.
And that was how Shang Qinghua’s plan bore fruit. Of course he’d have to spend some time sneaking out of the palace in order to get materials he needed. Like outfits, trump cards for when his backup plans failed, and other such things. But above all, Shang Qinghua needed to start networking. One thing he realized about being in the harem wing was that barely any information he wanted was spread! It was all harem drama! And while he was enjoying the fuck out of watching the live shows go down, Shang Qinghua also wanted to know what was going on outside of the harem. After all, if something big happened, Shang Qinghua’s life of safety would be at risk!
What started as Shang Qinghua building connections to keep in the loop of situations ended up with him doing far more than he intended. For starters, Shang Qinghua began helping Luo Binghe and his King from the shadows. Now it was stupid to do, yes! But Shang Qinghua felt kind of guilty about the situations he put those two through. Especially now that they were real and not characters in a book. So while he didn’t want to be at their side where the biggest risks were, he figured being a secret agent working for them in the shadows was a better option.
So he’d wait till Luo Binghe was out of his chambers before using one of the only secret entrances to slip inside and deposit a short ledger of demons in his court who couldn’t be trusted, their crimes, and how to find evidence of it. Shang Qinghua started off small just to test the waters and see what happened. When nothing did, he tried again. This time with Mobei-Jun. He left a similar list, only this time it was of demons colluding with the ice demon’s uncle. It was times like these that his author knowledge came in handy.
During that time, Shang Qinghua didn’t have any informants working in the Northern Palace. So he had no way of knowing if his King had followed his tips. Eventually, however, something happened. His informants leaked to him that there’d been a mass purge amongst Luo Binghe’s retinue. Not long after that, the information had been spread throughout the harem. His aid had worked. Brilliantly so. And thus Shang Qinghua fell into a new groove.
In the harem as Hua Hua, he learned plenty of useful tidbits going on inside the palace alongside all the infighting. It was amazing to know what the wives knew or learned from the passing conversations of their servants. And outside the harem whenever Shang Qinghua snuck out, there he learned everything else thanks to his growing list of connections. By the second month mark, he’d become like a spider. His webs stretched all throughout the realms and even began branching into the North, just as he intended. This was useful as it revealed to him that Mobei-Jun was beginning to search for his missing spy. Sucks for him! Shang Qinghua had no intention of waltzing right back to his death.
Shang Qinghua used his knowledge though. He’d slip notes for Luo Binghe and his King, never dropping them in the same place twice. Of course it was always in places only Luo Binghe or Mobei-Jun had access to. He wasn’t stupid. He knew he was playing a dangerous game. But that’s why he’d developed such an intricate network of information. He never dared operate unless both rulers were somewhere far away. Or occupied with something else. He had numerous precautions laid out just to remain undetected.
And thus Shang Qinghua managed to pass by an entire year like this. Honestly he was amazed with himself. A pat on the back was deserved! Of course it was thanks to the Rules Shang Qinghua implemented that he’s been able to last this long.
Rule 1: Stay away from the main wives. Shang Qinghua may be a woman now, but he still looked the same as when he was a man. Just a little softer, more plump around the backside and with a decent bust to even it out. Sure a layer of makeup was nice, but it couldn’t hide his features entirely. Thus Shang Qinghua always carried a fan to obscure his appearance even further.
Rule 2: Do not stand out. If he didn’t want to catch some hands, then he needed to be the most wallflower to ever wallflower. Plus it was just so much harder to gather information if he became too eye-catching.
Rule 3: Never invite others into his inner room. The plant he used to transform was hidden and protected by a shit ton of seals, sure. But all it took was someone stealing it for Shang Qinghua to be fucked over big time. Plus he liked his privacy! He didn’t even let his maids enter his inner chambers unless strictly necessary.
Rule 4: When sneaking out, ensure nothing he did was traced back to Hua Hua. All it took was one stray rumor to send his reputation in the gutter. That’d lead to soooo much shit. And it’d land him on Luo Binghe’s radar. Which led him to his biggest and final rule.
Rule 5: Above all else, avoid Luo Binghe. If Shang Qinghua gets found out, he’s a dead man. Simple as that.
As Shang Qinghua sat beneath the pavilion fanning himself, he mused at how far he’d come in such a short span of time. He’d manage to worm his way into the harem, integrating himself in such a way that ‘Hua Hua’ felt like she’d always been there. To the point everyone never questioned her or her seniority as a harem member. According to her backstory, she was a former wandering cultivator who’d lost her entire family and clan in a demon raid. Luo Binghe happened upon her during one of his many adventures. She’d been weak and ill at the time. After nursing her back to health, she fell in love and swore her loyalty to Luo Binghe! But of course being older than him, she doesn't think she’s fit to be his wife. Therefore whenever he comes searching for a beautiful flower to bed, Hua Hua always demurely steps aside so the younger delicacies can be seen.
It was such a perfect backstory Shang Qinghua could cackle! And he has! Multiple times! It was vague enough that the details were easy to remember. Plus if ever questioned on it, Hua Hua could just pump out the crocodile tears and mention it being a hard topic to talk about. Anyone who questioned his past would feel like an asshole!
Smiling in smug satisfaction, Shang Qinghua grabbed at another pastry and stuffed it into his mouth. He hummed around the mouthful, savoring the chestnut taste as he contemplated his next move. He’d already cleaned out all the crooked advisors. Plus he’d revealed to his King all of the old Shang Qinghua’s shady deals. There shouldn’t be any more rats from that Shang Qinghua’s past. What else could he do for the time being?
“Let’s see… Wife number 322 was just added two weeks ago… Mmm that means that the coup should start gaining traction soon.” A coup started by wife number 47. She’d grown tired of the harem life. Her jealousy over the way Luo Binghe had set her to the side and had begun showering his attention to the newer flowers in his garden had left her full of resentment. One would’ve thought she’d get used to it after the 100th wife, but not so. She’d apparently been hoping to rise in ranks to become one of the main wives but that never happened. Thus her jealousy turned to anger. And that anger led to her colluding with her family into trying to overthrow Luo Binghe.
It was still in its fledgling state, sure. But maybe Shang Qinghua could use this as an opportunity to do some pruning. There were some thorns in his sides that Shang Qinghua was not too fond of. Normally he didn’t care. These petty catfights were fun to watch and Shang Qinghua always made sure to keep a safe distance, but sometimes he was forcibly dragged in. And look, Shang Qinghua wasn’t a fucking saint, ok? He could deal with verbal abuse, that was easy! But when people tried to mildly poison him or outright get him killed just because he was nice to what’s-her-face, who was hated by so-and-so? Well that was just crossing a line. An eye for an eye, and all that.
Shang Qinghua shrugged, finishing off the last of the treats before using a handkerchief to delicately pat at his mouth. He then made a gesture, a servant standing a good distance away coming over to fetch the empty snack plate and tray of tea. Shang Qinghua took his time standing, stretching before adjusting his hanfu. He tossed some of his hair over his shoulder, fanning himself lazily as he took to wandering around the garden.
“Let’s see… There’s that banquet going on tomorrow night. Maybe I can slip a note then?” But that’d be tricky. Luo Binghe sometimes spent all night at banquets or he left an hour into the celebration. It depended on his mood. But if Shang Qinghua slipped in and dropped off the note at the start of the celebration in his office , then it wouldn’t matter! And he could then spend the rest of the night drinking away outside the palace!
“Bahaha! I’m so brilliant!” Shang Qinghua openly cackled, the sound completely unrefined and at odds with the older milf vibes he tried to project. Suddenly something caught Shang Qinghua’s attention. He turned his head to the side and instantly locked eyes with red.
At a good enough distance from him standing beneath the open corridor was the very person Shang Qinghua was trying to avoid. Luo Binghe was alone, as in this wing of the palace, no man other than him was allowed in. He’d paused in his walk in order to stop and stare at Shang Qinghua. He was too far for the cultivator to read his expression, but there was absolutely no way he was waiting to find out.
As casually as he could, Shang Qinghua turned and began walking deeper into the garden. He tried to keep his cool, but he was speed walking like he was an auntie at a market having a sale. As he rounded some dense foliage, Shang Qinghua nearly screamed when he heard the sound of boots crunching on gravel.
No! Don’t give chase! This wasn’t some coy wife trying to entice her husband!!
Crying in his heart, Shang Qinghua gave a little burst of spiritual energy into his feet in order to dampen their sound as he broke off into a sprint. This wasn’t a game, but if Luo Binghe heard him increase his pace the man would surely give chase. And if the two of them started running, Shang Qinghua dreaded how it would end. There was a reason other than his face as to why Shang Qinghua kept far from Luo Binghe. The man was smart and had a memory sharper than any blade. While the harem might have forgotten when ‘Hua Hua’ was married into their group, Luo Binghe wouldn’t. All it took was him learning of Shang Qinghua’s existence for it all to unravel.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” Shang Qinghua hissed under his breath, eyes darting from side to side as he wound his way through the thick maze of plant life. He was so glad he’d decided to join the girls for tea in the East garden! It was like a mini forest kept within the palace walls. This made hiding much easier. And because of his knowledge as the author, Shang Qinghua knew where the hidden tunnels were!
Shang Qinghua was reaching one of them now when he sensed Luo Binghe’s pace increasing. It seemed the man had now realized Shang Qinghua wasn’t going to be found just by leisurely walking. He vaguely wondered what expression Luo Binghe might have made. Whatever. Not like he was going to wait around and find out! Shang Qinghua stopped before a tree with a thick cluster of roots growing out of the dirt around its base. He dropped to his stomach and slid beneath the tightly packed roots, uncaring for the dirt smearing against his precious silks. Shang Qinghua dragged himself with all his might before he felt his body slip through and promptly tumbled down.
Beneath this tree was a hole hidden thanks to the shadows cast by the roots. The hole dropped down into a tunnel that led back into the many hidden chambers of the inner palace. Shang Qinghua shook out his head, scattering some dirt before he was leaping to his feet and breaking out in a full sprint down the darkened path. So long, Protagonist! Please forget me!!!
- - - - - - - - -
When Shang Qinghua arrived back to his room, the sun had already set and night had taken claim over the sky. Shang Qinghua had to take numerous detours in order to avoid being seen in such a hideous state. When he finally had the time to look at himself in the mirror, he shuddered at the sight. His face and clothes were smeared with dirt, his makeup would put a clown to shame, and his hair was in a serious state of disarray. Ugh! He needed a bath pronto.
Sighing tiredly, Shang Qinghua began slowly divesting himself of all his articles of clothing. Just as he was reaching for his waist where he normally stored his fan, Shang Qinghua’s hands grasped air. He froze, looking down in shock. Scrambling, Shang Qinghua began to furiously pat at his body in a desperate attempt to try and somehow procure his fan into existence.
“Nooooo! I liked that one!!!” Shang Qinghua let out a loud wail, dragging his hands down his face and smearing more of the grime against his skin. “Shit what if Luo Binghe found it? Can he track me with it?” Shang Qinghua could slap himself! Don’t be silly, he’s not a blood hound! It’s fine, it’ll be fine! Luo Binghe probably didn’t even notice the fan. Wherever Shang Qinghua dropped it…
Maybe he should go back and search for it?
As soon as that thought crossed his mind, Shang Qinghua was eliminating it ruthlessly. Nope. From this point on, that fan was dead to him. He’d gotten too close to Luo Binghe today. And knowing that man, he’d probably be expecting some wife fucking plot. Like ‘oh his wife managed to escape, but oh no she dropped her fan! He just has to wait around and she’ll come searching for it. Then boom, passionate love making~’
Bah! Count this old man out of it! Go have more wife plots with someone who's interested, Protagonist!
As Shang Qinghua summoned maids in order to fill his tub up with water, Shang Qinghua hid behind a changing screen after divesting himself of his robes. The women came in, some tutting at the state of his clothes before another giggled about being found by Lord Luo. Ugh! Not these girls too. Can’t it be just a simple ‘ oh madam, did you fall? Are you alright?’ Why was it instantly the lewdest option?!
He chose to remain silent, waiting till the women left his inner chamber before stepping into the steaming water. Shang Qinghua washed himself quickly before finally resting back against the tub, sighing as he closed his eyes.
Seriously, that had been too close. How long had Luo Binghe been watching Shang Qinghua talk to himself? He hadn’t said anything compromising, thank the Heavens. But still. The last thing he needed to do was be intriguing. Running away had no doubt triggered Luo Binghe’s hunting instincts from his demon side or whatever. But the only other option was to just stand there and hope Luo Binghe went away on his own. And what if he didn’t? Was Shang Qinghua supposed to stand there and conduct small talk? No way! Not with Luo Binghe’s sharp mind and memory! One look at Shang Qinghua’s face and it’s all over.
Unwittingly he’d broken rules 2 and 5! Shang Qinghua had to be more careful! Going forward, he’d be more aware of his surroundings. That bell always sounded when Luo Binghe was visiting. So maybe Shang Qinghua should follow the lead of the other women and return to his room? Or maybe he should use that chance to slip out entirely. Yeah, the second option sounded better. Can’t run into the Protagonist if he isn’t even in the palace, right? And besides, it’s been a while since he went out and fought some monsters! He had to practice his sword form or he’d get rusty. And Shang Qinghua couldn’t have that. Not when 7 of his plans banked on him being strong enough to protect himself. Should living in the palace become a… Non-option. Better to be safe than sorry.
Nodding to himself, Shang Qinghua swiftly finished his bath before getting out and calling for the maids to take the water away. They knew not to bother trying to dry him as Shang Qinghua had already protested many times before. Their ‘lady’ was independent, no doubt due to the fact she’d been a wandering cultivator before this! At least that’s what Shang Qinghua hoped they thought.
When he was sure everyone had left and they wouldn’t come back, Shang Qinghua went through the process of unlocking all the seals guarding his precious plant. Being a magic bush, it didn’t need water of any kind. It simply needed to be rejuvenated by the light it was dyed with. So every week Shang Qinghua would take the bush out and set it under the moon to replenish. During that time he would also pluck a stash of those black berries that sprouted from the bush.
Shang Qinghua was a man first and foremost. The fact he had experience pretending to be a woman didn’t mean shit. If there was one thing he could think of as a blessing from his transmigration experience, it would be that his outside finally matched who he was within. It was just that some days… It really got to him. Having to pretend all over again. Those days when he simply couldn’t handle it, Shang Qinghua made himself scarce and left the palace. Spending a day as a man and going around hearing people call him sir and the like did wonders for his mood. He had to take the small joys he could, otherwise he’d go mad and do something foolish.
Curling up under his many numerous blankets, Shang Qinghua sighed as he let the exhaustion of the day wash over him. He seriously needed to be more aware of his surroundings. He couldn’t afford to run the risk of Luo Binghe spotting him again. He’ll do better. Plan better. Maybe he should invest in finding an artifact that can warn him of approaching individuals? He’s sure he made something like that. With a sleepy hum, Shang Qinghua fell asleep with thoughts of spyware and microchips for pets.
- - - - - - - - -
Come morning, Shang Qinghua felt like shit! He probably looked like it too, but that was fine. When wandering as a man, Shang Qinghua didn’t need to look like a flawless beauty. God women in a harem had it tough.
Shang Qinghua hid away in his room, preparing for the night ahead. Afterwards when he looked better, he did some basic rounds as Hua Hua, greeting the women he encountered and tuning in to the day’s gossip. Whispers had spread that Lord Luo had apparently gotten side tracked by a teasing wife, lured into the forest only to be ‘abandoned’ and left wandering for half an incense stick. Shang Qinghua felt his heart nearly shoot from his chest when he heard. But somehow he managed to keep a straight face and feigned a shocked gasp.
However after breakfast when Shi Linyi told him with shining eyes that she and a few other girls had been invited to a tea party with Luo Binghe, he’d genuinely been alarmed. Protagonist, having tea with five wives at once? Were you insane? Who wanted to be in the middle of that headache?!
“Aaah meimei,” Shang Qinghua reached up, patting her head as he frowned worriedly behind his fan, “Remember what I’ve taught you when testing for poisons. And don’t trust the food just because Luo Binghe ate some.”
Initially Shang Qinghua hadn’t intended to bond with Shi Linyi like he had. But she felt like a little sister to Shang Qinghua! And she was so cute with how tsundere she got! Soft to Shang Qinghua but cold to most of the other wives? How could Shang Qinghua’s heart not be moved?! He wasn’t made of stone, after all. Honestly he wished Shi Linyi could’ve found a better husband. She deserved a man who’d only see her as his world, not a man who wanted the entire solar system.
“You’re worrying too much.” Shi Linyi pouted but allowed her head to be pet, “Lord Luo would heal me even if I was poisoned.”
That just made Shang Qinghua worry more!!! Shi Linyi you cannot rely on Luo Binghe’s Heavenly Demon blood for every little thing! The stress must’ve shown on Shang Qinghua’s face because Shi Linyi’s scowl was softening. She dropped her gaze, “I promise to be careful. But… If Hua Hua wanted to make sure I was extra ok, she could come to the party with me.”
Ha. Nice try. Shi Linyi was cute, but not that cute. Shang Qinghua only smiled, “Now it’d be rude to invite myself when I had not received an invitation. No, I will be fine. I think I’ll be retiring early tonight anyways. Once you get to my age, the day wears on you so much harder.”
“You’re not even that much older than me!”
“Ahh but what a difference those years make.”
Shang Qinghua genuinely laughed at her grumbling. He barely resisted the urge to pull her cheeks. Instead he settled for patting her shoulder and wishing her luck before taking his leave. After that Shang Qinghua busied himself preparing for the banquet. After changing into bland, unassuming robes, he wrote down everything he remembered about this particular coup. He clarified who was involved, where to find the weapon stashes, and other minor things that he felt needed to be known. From there Shang Qinghua also added another slip of paper listing names of harem members who were starting a lot of infighting and were sowing chaos by their many numerous poison attempts. And if Shang Qinghua sprinkled a bit more information about their dirty laundry, well who was going to tattle on him?
Smug and satisfied, Shang Qinghua retrieved a berry from the small pouch at his waist. He popped it into his mouth, munching quickly and washing down the sour flavor with some water. He felt his body shifting, the plumpness of his chest fading as his features lost their soft edges. Only his backside retained any level of thickness. Shang Qinghua had long since assumed it was just a side effect from the bush.
“Right then,” Shang Qinghua stretched out before snatching his veil to hide the lower half of his face. Once it was fastened in place he rolled up the papers and bound them with a piece of twine.
After double checking that he had everything he needed, Shang Qinghua went to a cabinet placed in the corner of his room. He opened the doors, revealing that the inside was completely hollow with a ladder leading down into darkness. This tunnel hadn’t originally been there. But around month 3 Shang Qinghua had decided to start some construction work. Sneaking into his room as a man was dangerous to his reputation as Hua Hua, so this tunnel was made. It just so happened to be a bonus that it allowed for easier access when smuggling things into his room.
He climbed down and followed the path he knew by heart at this point. It led to a false wall that opened up into a storage closet located in the servant’s wing. Shang Qinghua knew that with the banquet being tonight, the area should be deserted thanks to the servants scrambling to finish last minute preparations. Just to be safe though, Shang Qinghua cast out a thin net of spiritual energy. This was a little skill he’d picked up when he’d first thought of himself as a ‘spider weaving a web’. These threads were coated in a thin layer of qi that allowed him to control them. With Shang Qinghua at its center, he could stretch them out like feelers and sense those who came into contact with them. Granted they weren’t entirely invisible. Anyone able to sense qi might notice them if they were skilled enough. That was why Shang Qinghua liked to lay them out on the ground. Barely anyone paid attention to their feet. So if they trampled all over his webbing of spiritual thread, they’d be none the wiser.
With the coast clear Shang Qinghua slipped from the storage closet and easily made his way through the halls. At first he’d gotten lost a few times trying to figure the layout of the palace out. He may have described a good portion of the hidden chambers and tunnels, but the actual layout of the palace was something he never bothered with. Thankfully with enough practice, Shang Qinghua had a pretty good memory of where things were relative to their respective secret door.
Taking several twists and turns, Shang Qinghua wriggled himself behind a set of wooden stairs that had a barely discernible hatch beneath the wood. That led to another set of stairs that went down. This tunnel was one of many that led to the main labyrinth winding through the palace. He’d set up camp outside the one within Luo Binghe’s personal study. Then when the party is well under way he’ll slip in, do what he needs to do, and be out as quick as can be.
Shang Qinghua passed the time counting his coins, double checking his tools, and sending out a few qi threads to check that Luo Binghe’s study was truly empty. After what he deemed to be a good enough time of waiting, Shang Qinghua once more checked the room before slipping inside. Contrary to expectations, Luo Binghe’s study was neat and tidy. There were a few open scrolls on his desk, but other than that everything was placed where it should be. Humming under his breath, Shang Qinghua plopped his package onto Luo Binghe’s desk. He took a moment to scan over the contents of the open scrolls in order to get a bit of an idea what his Protagonist had been working on.
“Ah, that’s easy.” Shang Qinghua took a brush, dipping it in some ink before scribbling a note in the corner of the scroll. He then drew an arrow, circling a specific bit and adding another more serious note that he underlined twice for emphasis. His work done, Shang Qinghua put the brush back and prepared to leave when something caught his eye.
Positioned behind Luo Binghe’s desk against the wall was a large circular bookshelf made of bamboo. While most of the shelves were neatly packed with scrolls and rare artifacts, one item on the top shelf stood out in particular. It was a simple, unassuming fan. It’d been cleaned to the point it looked brand new, but Shang Qinghua knew that cheap fan anywhere. It was his fan!!
Completely forgetting his plan of getting out as fast as possible, Shang Qinghua rounded the desk once again and made a beeline for the bookshelf. “Come to papa!” He whispered, eyes shining over the prospect of getting his fan back. Sure it was a cheap fan that barely cost him anything, but it was his very first possession in this world! It held a special place in Shang Qinghua’s heart and he’d be damned if he left it behind! Plus when would he ever get a chance like this again?
Shang Qinghua had to stretch on the tips of his toes to try and reach the shelf it was on. He grit his teeth, feeling the smooth wood beneath the tips of his fingers. He was so close! Just a bit more and–
From behind Shang Qinghua, he heard the sound of the door opening. He froze before whipping around and bearing witness as surprise bloomed across the beautiful face of Luo Binghe. The man’s crimson eyes widened before narrowing. His gaze dropped to his desk, noticing the newest addition to the scrolls. Recognition flashed in those depths before he was locking his gaze back onto Shang Qinghua.
For a moment neither did a thing. Then as Shang Qinghua thought ‘Oh fuck no’ he was breaking into a sprint. Luo Binghe reacted much the same way. The desk between them mattered little when the emperor simply used it to vault over. Shang Qinghua dodged to the side, reaching into his sleeve and pulling out a strange looking red fruit that was shaped like a cone. Holding the thinner end, Shang Qinghua raised it towards Luo Binghe just as the man made a swipe for the cultivator. A simple squeeze was all it took to make the bulky end of the fruit pop. A spray of juices hit Luo Binghe in the face, the man rearing back and slamming into the bookshelves as he let out a snarl of pain. His hands flew to his eyes, rubbing furiously at the burning sensation that suddenly erupted.
Shang Qinghua didn’t waste any more time. He dropped the used fruit before grabbing another item. He slammed it into the ground and it erupted into a cloud of smoke that enveloped the entire office. Using it as cover, Shang Qinghua sprinted towards the open door and burst from the room. He wasn’t going to risk taking the secret exit and revealing it to Luo Binghe. That’d just ruin his whole system!
Behind him Shang Qinghua heard a crash, heavy footsteps giving chase.
“Stop!”
Like Hell he would! Shang Qinghua cried on the inside, pulling out a vial from his inner robes. He didn’t even look as he tossed it over his shoulder. The glass shattered before there was an audible boom, sticky webs of sap bursting from the vial and stretching out to block the path behind him. After a quick glance though, he sadly noticed that Luo Binghe had managed to dodge the vial just before it struck.
“Oh shit–!” Shang Qinghua gasped, sharply twisting to the side and dodging Luo Binghe’s grasp as he changed trajectory to head down a hallway. Luo Binghe slid against the floor, claws digging into the wood and leaving deep gouges as he forced his momentum to stop. With a burst of power the half-demon pushed off the ground and continued his chase.
What could Shang Qinghua do?! How did he escape this situation?! Shang Qinghua knew he should’ve just left the fan! What happened to it being ‘dead to him’?! Sentimentality, this is your fault!
Shang Qinghua bit back a whine as he rounded another corner, barely managing to dodge a servant carrying a load of laundry. She shrieked, leaping back out of the way just in time to avoid being bowled over by Luo Binghe. Shang Qinghua dived into the first open room he came across, booking it towards the window and bracing himself as he lept. It hurt bursting through the wood like he did, but what else could he do? He was running on adrenaline and needed to slow Luo Binghe some way in order to escape!
Dropping from the second floor, Shang Qinghua landed in a roll. Aided by cultivation, he sprung to his feet and began running just as Luo Binghe leapt from the window after him. If Shang Qinghua could spare a moment to think, he would’ve realized how Luo Binghe was making no effort to kill him. All it would’ve taken was lobbing Xin Mo or some blast of qi in order to knock Shang Qinghua off kilter. But it was like Luo Binghe was making a conscious decision to not injure Shang Qinghua.
“Let’s see–” Shang Qinghua hissed, rummaging around in his sleeves for something else he could use to escape with. He had plenty of deadly weapons, but he didn’t want to use them on Luo Binghe! That’d probably just piss the man off. He needed something that’d slow Luo Binghe down long enough for Shang Qinghua to get into one of the secret tunnels. Either that or something that’d stop the man entirely.
Frantically Shang Qinghua pulled out an artifact he’d managed to nab a few months back. It was something called the Breath of Winter. With an idea quickly forming in his mind, Shang Qinghua took out another of the vials full of expanding sap.
First he made his way back into a building, needing a place with walls and a roof in order to make this effective. Then he lifted the Breath of Winter to his lips and blew. The artifact, like its name implied, was a diamond-shaped crystal that when one blew against it like a flute, it would spew out freezing winds on the other end. Shang Qinghua froze the polished wood beneath him, making it slippery and hard to run on. Though he was at risk of tripping and falling, this was something Shang Qinghua needed.
The same time Shang Qinghua purposefully dropped to slide along the frozen ground, he threw up the vial of sap. It struck the roof ahead of him, the sticky tendrils shooting out in every direction. He managed to pass beneath it all thanks to his momentum and the frozen floor. Behind him he heard Luo Binghe curse loudly before there was a splat. As Shang Qinghua’s skidding slowed, he chanced a glance over his shoulder and saw the half-demon struggling on the other side of the sappy webbing.
He glared ruthlessly at Shang Qinghua, his teeth gritted in an open snarl as he yanked roughly on his robes. The seams began to rip from the force of his pulling. The ominous sound of fabric tearing had Shang Qinghua springing to his feet and going straight back to running.
“You’d better get back here!”
Luo Binghe’s threatening roar went ignored. Shang Qinghua wasted no time in finding the nearest secret door and slipping inside. He ran on autopilot, brain a mess of screaming and panic. Blood pounded in his ears and his breathing was ripped from him with each ragged wheeze. The rest of his sprint through the halls was a blur. The next thing he knew he was standing in his room with the moonlight peacefully streaming in through the window.
Shang Qinghua’s vision swayed and his legs felt like jelly. He only knew they’d given out when he saw the ground rushing up to meet him. As Shang Qignhua lay there collapsed against the floor, he struggled to quell his quaking heart and regain his breathing.
Screwing his eyes closed, Shang Qinghua rolled onto his back and pressed a hand to his chest. Somehow he did it. He managed to escape. But it had been too close. Far too close. If Shang Qinghua had been even an iota lax in his usual preparations, he would’ve been caught. And what then? Shang Qinghua didn’t want to find out.
He laid there till his shaking stopped and he could finally breathe without his lungs rattling from long wheezes. By then the sweat had cooled against his skin and had begun to feel tacky. Shang Qinghua barely had the energy for anything, but he knew he couldn’t go to bed like this. He’d just feel gross. With great reluctance he dragged himself up off the ground and puttered around his room. There was a basin to the side filled with water that he used to wash his face. After stripping off his clothes, Shang Qinghua took a cloth and began wiping down his skin. Once he was done he paused before putting on a fresh under robe to sleep in.
“Nnn…” He bit his lip, glancing at a chest placed by the foot of his bed. “Better safe than sorry…” If anyone came bursting into his room for a reason or another, it would be safer for him to have a woman’s body. That way he could at least play ignorance. After all, it was a man Luo Binghe had been chasing, yeah?
He unlocked the many numerous seals and traps he’d decorated the chest in before lifting the lid. Inside he plucked a leaf from the Bush of Shifting Leaves before closing it and resetting all his traps. With his cultivation Shang Qinghua could easily heat up a cup of water, using it to brew a quick tea with the leaf. Like a cube of sugar, the thing dissolved into the liquid the moment it hit the heated water.
Tossing the tea back like a shot, Shang Qinghua sighed as the warm liquid hit his belly and began spreading throughout his limbs. This was not how Shang Qinghua planned his night to go. And as he got into bed and surrounded himself in a protective layer of blankets, he could only hope that tomorrow would be better. Little did Shang Qinghua know that as sleep was quick to claim him, outside of the harem’s wing, the rest of the palace was in a state of uproar.