Work Text:
Now: Rapunzel Movie Set
No matter what anyone said, this was entirely X’s fault and Zero was sticking to that.
“If it’s any consolation, you look great!” X said, smiling.
Zero spared him a glance and raised an eyebrow. X just raised one back, and shrugged. Anyone who said X wasn’t a natural-born troll was lying, or didn’t know the android.
Axl snickered in the background as Zero walked by, his purple dress swishing just above his ankles.
….This might be Axl’s fault as well; Zero could be generous.
“Last call for the stunt double!”
There was his cue.
He hiked up the purple dress, ignored the two snickering jokers in the corner, and marched off to the set, his nose high.
“Rapunzel stunt double on-set, ready for the water dam scene, in 3….2….1….”
For a second, the bright lights blinded him, and Zero shoved down his instinctive battle protocol, since these lights weren’t a Maverick’s way to kill him. Asimov, what had his life become….how did this happen?
Zero caught a glimpse of the horses on-set, calmly chewing some alfalfa, and remembered.
Oh wait. This was all X’s fault. Though it had all started—rust and verdigris, over a century ago now….
~~~
Past: Pre-First Maverick War
“You want me to what,” Zero said. “Absolutely not. I’m not watching….” his nose wrinkled. “Girlie kiddy movies with you, X, what in the verdigris are you on.” He crossed his arms and looked down at X, who rubbed the back of his head.
“It’ll be a bonding activity!” He said. “These movies are really good, Zero. I really do think you’ll like them.” He looked up. His eyes were big, and sparkling, and so very innocent and sincere. Anyone would cave immediately. Even Commander Sigma probably would to a face like that.
Unfortunately, Zero was not just anyone. He was X’s best friend and therefore immune to his whiles.
“No,” Zero said, and that was the end of that.
~~~
“No,” Zero said, appalled. “That’s just unfair!” On-screen, Mulan was cast out of the army after saving all their afts from the Huns.
“Right?” X said, waving his hands at the screen. “It’s not fair!”
Dr. Cain chuckled. “Remember, boys, that Li Shang was actually being merciful here.”
Two pairs of disbelieving eyes swiveled to the doctor, who munched on some popcorn in his chair. “Back in Ancient China he would’ve been well-within his rights to kill her. Mercy was letting her go.”
Zero scoffed in disgust and leaned back. “I can’t believe that humans did that.”
“It’s not right that letting someone go was considered the rare mercy,” X agreed.
Dr. Cain cleared his throat softly. “Not to disagree, boys, but don’t the Maverick Hunters operate under the same set of conditions?”
Once again two pairs of eyes swiveled to him, this time outraged. “We do not!” Zero said. He pointed to the screen, where Mulan was struggling all alone. “We kill because we have to, not….” He trailed off, at a loss for words. Philosophy had never been his strong suit, and so Dr. Cain made a point of always making sure to force Zero to talk about it whenever he came.
It was the reason why Zero didn’t like coming over to Dr. Cain’s very much. The old man was mean .
Unfortunately, Dr. Cain’s was where X lived and so Zero often found himself embroiled in a battle of words oftentimes against two people who lived for such things.
The things he did for friendship.
“We don’t do it because we can,” X supplied. Zero nodded, relieved. Luckily, he had X on his side this time, and when they worked in tandem the doctor usually acquiesced to their arguments.
Usually.
“With us it’s a necessity,” Zero concurred. “If we didn’t have to kill, we wouldn’t. But Mavericks go mad and they don’t stop if they’re not killed. It’s a mercy to kill them.”
X frowned, but didn’t pipe up. Zero knew he didn’t agree, though. “The Blue Bombing Pacifist of the Hunters”—that was X, alright.
“Hmmm,” Dr. Cain said. “But suppose the Maverick didn’t go mad? What would you do then?”
That statement is categorically false. Mavericks always go mad in the end.
His face must’ve given him away, and Dr. Cain laughed. “Humor me, Zero. Say it was a reploid simply stealing to eat. Does he warrant death?”
“That’s not a Maverick,” Zero said, confused. “That’s a criminal.” There were always plenty of those types. Once they were back on their feet the Hunters never saw them again.
Dr. Cain made a harrumphing noise. “Some might say they’re the same thing. Plenty of people would say they were.”
Zero’s confusion only rose further. “But they’re not?” He exchanged a confused glance with X.
Dr. Cain sighed. “They’re not,” he agreed sadly, then smiled. “Look boys—she’s back.”
X and Zero both returned their attention to the screen. Zero blinked. “Are they in dresses? ”
“Technically, they’re kimonos,” X said.
“They’re hanfu, actually,” Dr. Cain corrected, amused.
Zero ignored them for the spectacle on-screen. A dress was a dress. What did it matter what the name was? He narrowed his eyes. “Wait, can you actually climb a pillar while wearing a dress?” The long skirts would surely inhibit movement….
~~~
Present: Rapunzel Set
“Alright, take one!”
The second Zero was given the go ahead he dashed forward, and using the rope that only looked like blonde hair, threw it over the hanging piece of wood and leaped across the mock crevice to land safely on the other side lightly.
Turns out the dress didn’t impede his movement at all—who knew?
Behind him, the stunt double for Flynn Rider “fought” the royal guards. Zero fought to keep his expression free of the disdain he felt for such combat—the double was missing at least five openings every second, and it didn’t even look like he was hitting them.
The frying pan made excellent sound effects though, and Zero’s interest in it increased. It was a relatively lightweight but sturdy thing, and maybe he should consider putting it in his repertoire….
Then the horse arrived. Or rather, one of the three involved with the filming. Judging by his ferocity with the sword, it was the so-called demon horse: Snowy . Frankly, Zero was impressed by the horse’s skills—it actually kept up with the double. It was very well-trained.
By X, no doubt. If not by X, then by another person who had nigh-voodoo powers with animals.
Zero squinted his eyes. Did….the horse actually have the human double on the ropes or was he just seeing things….?
Bah.
“Here!” Zero shouted to the double, not caring about how low and loud his voice was. The director had told him they’d redub all of Zero’s scenes with the proper voice from the leading actress later, so he was free to use his normal voice.
Using the blonde “hair” Flynn Rider swung away from Snowy just in time but it only led to more shenanigans—this time, on the floor of the gorge, while Zero was at the top of the dam.
And oh look, there was a water slide down. Or what amounted to it, anyway. And wouldn’t you know it Flynn needed help….
Zero grinned. This acting stuff was fun.
And then Snowy leapt over the gorge (?!) and proceeded to try attacking him?!
Zero raised an eyebrow as he easily dodged swing after swing. Why was the horse better than multiple Hunter recruits?
“Cut!!!” The director yelled.
Snowy’s handle ran on-set, trying to calm him down to no avail. Snowy stamped his right front hoof on the ground, and kept on trying to get past the handler to attack Zero.
Demon horse indeed. Zero was actually impressed.
As the handler and the horse began a tug-of-war for the sword in the horse’s mouth—of which Snowy seemed to be winning, heh—Zero casually looked back and called out:
“Hey, X! Get over here!”
There really was only one person who could deal with an animal like this, and it had been this way since before the First War….
~~~
Past: Pre-First Maverick War
“Sqqqaaackkk! You’re joking!” Chill Penguin said, flapping his wings a little bit. “No one can do that!”
“I must admit, I think I agree with Chill Penguin on this one, Zero,” Storm Eagle agreed, looking dubious.
“Even the pacifist can’t do something like this,” Vile snorted.
“Wanna bet?” Zero asked. “500 zenny X attracts all the animals without harming them and gets them back in their pens without any struggle.”
“Zero,” Sigma warned. Zero glanced at him. Thankfully, the Commander seemed more amused than anything else, and appeared content to let the present commanders be shocked by X.
Not that that was particularly hard, especially when the other commanders were hell-bent on ignoring and belittling him since X was a stubborn pacifist.
“I’ll take that deal,” Vile said.
Sigma sighed, but let it go.
Zero grinned. That was basically resounding approval in Sigma-speak.
“Alright,” Zero said, his fangs glinting. “But don’t back out now.”
He commed X. “You’re all clear.”
He received an affirmative, and Zero settled back with a grin.
Below the tall building from where they watched, X padded out into the zoo. A Maverick had unlocked all the cages and had spread some sort of bug that made all the animals go mad. Luckily, the bug was easily countered by some sort of medicine that had been sprayed all over the zoo, but the animals were now loose.
The Hunters, after taking down the Maverick, had been asked to stay and help, and Zero had known just who to use to bring back the animals in record time. X had agreed, happy to help, and Zero rounded up the other commanders put on the case on top of one of the zoo’s buildings to watch.
X walked out into a very empty plaza and whistled.
Vile snorted. “There’s no way—”
And then suddenly, it was very not empty anymore, and was filled with birds, lizards, tigers, lions, cheetahs, monkeys…..
The entire zoo, basically, and they were all getting along. The lions weren’t trying to eat the sheep, the sheep weren’t running away from the leopards, and the leopards weren’t trying to hunt the giraffes.
As X rode on top a bull elephant with a macaw on his shoulder and a parade of animals behind him, Zero turned to the shell-shocked Vile and grinned. “Pay up.”
~~~
Present: Rapunzel Set
“Oh, you’re such a sweet horse,” X said gently, scratching Snowy’s ears. Snowy had immediately dropped his sword X’s waiting hand, and was now swishing his tail back and forth contentedly while Zero and the rest of the cast looked on in disbelief.
“That’s the devil horse, right?” Axl whispered, making sure to stay far away from Snowy’s back hooves. Learned the hard way, had he?
“They’re all devil horses,” Zero said. They’d all tried at one point or another to eat his hair. “I didn’t believe the rumors until now, though.”
“I think Bucephalus is pretty sweet,” the stunt actor for Flynn put in. “But Snowy….”
He shuddered.
“Maximillian’s reincarnation?” Axl asked. “Is that even a thing?”
Zero shrugged his shoulders. “If Sigma can come back eight times a horse from a story can reincarnate,” he said blithely.
“You probably shouldn’t be so blase about Sigma,” Flynn’s double muttered. Zero ignored him.
Axl didn’t. “He’s actually not that hard to fight,” he said. “Just really annoying, since he doesn’t stay dead.”
Zero snorted. “Got it in one, kiddo.”
Flynn’s double looked offended. “I think the amount of damage he causes says otherwise?!”
Zero made a so-so gesture. “He’s easy to take down once you reach him,” he elaborated. “The damage he causes is separate from that.”
Axl nodded his head rapidly. “Yeah, Lumine was harder to fight. Sigma was just…” He made a face.
“A disappointing and irritating waste of space,” Zero said flatly.
“That.”
Flynn’s double opened his mouth, then closed it, looking incredulous. Zero didn’t really get why—they were telling the truth, after all.
Snowy butted his head a little closer to X, who laughed and scratched him harder, making Snowy whicker in bliss. The blissful noise pulled their attention back to the sight of the demon horse and the angelic hunter.
“I get he’s like, the Disney Princess but I didn’t think it was real,” breathed Flynn’s stunt double. He’d gotten hit multiple times by Snowy wielding a blade, and most of the crew one way or another had their own personal beef with the horse. And now that Zero had been attacked by the stallion he understood why. The thing had guts.
Now even the on-sight handler for him had given up—apparently losing a tug-of-war with the horse was too much—but thankfully X had stepped in.
Meanwhile, the other two stunt horses nudged their noses at X, trying to get petted as well. X laughed. “You guys are too! Easy, easy! Let’s get you all some peace and quiet, huh?” Thus saying, X led the three stallions away, each of them vying for the Hunter’s attention.
“Well,” Axl said finally, watching as X led the other horses peacefully away, “I guess there is a reason why X caused the Disney Revival.”
Zero gave him a stink eye. “Yeah, and it was you who let the secret slip.”
“Wait, that rumor is real?!” Squawked Flynn’s double.
“Guilty as charged!” Axl said cheerfully. “But it was really X and Zero’s fault. See, what had happened was…”
~~~
Past: Post-Seventh Maverick War
“Hahahahah—”
“Alright, alright!” X said, blushing. “Animals love me, I get it! Now get me out of here!” X was currently pressed against the side of a bear, of all things, who growled whenever he tried to get up. As did the wolf. And the otter. And the fox. And basically all the animals in the nature preserve combined—including the fish in the nearby stream—who had gathered to X the minute he’d—along with Zero and Axl—walked into the nature preserve to pursue an old Maverick weapon.
Axl continued to roll on the ground, cackling madly. “They—they’re not letting you go,” he wheezed. Wiping a tear from his eye, he glanced at Zero, who was watching the entire proceedings, completely unsurprised and completely unhelpful. “I thought you were joking!”
Zero grinned at X. “Nope,” he said, popping the p. “Just a regular Disney Princess, ain’t he?” X groaned in the background.
Axl glanced at him oddly as he got up. “What’s a Disney Princess?” He asked, confused. “Is that a phrase for someone animals love?”
Both X and Zero froze. “What’s a Disney Princess?” X asked, mildly affronted, before sharing a look with Zero.
Zero grimaced. “It has been a long time since Disney’s been around.” He then smirked. “And yes, shortstack, it is a term that describes a person animals love.” He then proceeded to ruffle Axl’s head.
“I’m not short,” Axl grumbled, swatting away the offending hand.
“Grow taller than itty-bitty X and we’ll talk,” Zero replied immediately.
“I could set this entire preserve on you right now,” X threatened.
“Ooh! Do it! Do it! Do it!”
“Oh no, I’m so scared by your forest animals,” Zero said sarcastically. He then turned to Axl. “Have you never seen a Disney movie before? They’re old, but I didn’t think they’d gone that out of style.”
“They are over two centuries old at this point,” X pointed out, still nestled in the grizzly bear’s side. In his hands he delicately held a fox kit.
Axl frowned. “Yeah, that’s old,” he agreed blithely.
“Hey,” the two over-two-century-year-old androids in-residence warned.
Axl barreled on, well-used to this particular verbal game. “Are they a human thing? Cause Red Alert wasn’t too keen on human things.” His foot scruffed the ground self-consciously. “I could’ve seen some before I woke up in that lab, but….” he trailed off, then brightened. “Hey! Maybe if I watch some I’ll get some memories back.”
X looked at Zero, amused. “We went from ‘I’ve never seen one in my life’ to ‘maybe I did’ to ‘I definitely did but it was before I lost my memories so if I watch them I might get them back’. Did I get that right?”
Zero was just as amused. “You did.”
“You know, they say a warning sign for age-caused hearing loss is repeating things…”
Zero grabbed the boy and held him in a headlock. Axl promptly began to squawk and fight and flail his arms. “Hey! Let me go!”
Zero looked over the flailing arms as he effortlessly kept Axl in a tight lock. “Hear something, X?”
“Nothing,” X replied serenely. “Must be our old age acting up.”
“You guuuuyss!"
Zero noogied Axl ferociously, then released him. Axl immediately sprang away from the red android, eyeing him warily and fixing his hair, muttering curses under his breath that Zero pretended he didn’t hear.
X sure heard them, though, and didn’t pretend he didn’t. “Axl.” He said once, sharply.
Axl immediately straightened at the tone. “Sorry. But you let me curse in combat—”
“This isn’t combat,” X said. He softened. “Cursing in daily life makes them lose their potency in a fight, and strips you of creativity with language.”
“The best insults are the ones without curse words,” Zero agreed bitterly. He still smarted over Signas’s from the other day—’I wish we could become better strangers’. All he’d done was forget his paperwork! (For the tenth time that week.)
“But then why do we call Sigma a little—”
“Because he doesn’t deserve creativity at all, Axl,” Zero said flatly, putting an end to the discussion. “Anyway, X, you gonna get up anytime soon?”
X gave him a glare. “Does it look like I can?” The bear, seeming to have sussed out his intentions, very firmly nosed him deeper into her side. The wolf huffed and then, getting up, laid itself right on top of X’s legs.
A click noise drew X and Zero’s attention. Axl had taken out his phone, and had taken a picture. “Great picture, X!”
Zero frowned. “This isn’t a sight-seeing tour.”
Axl pouted. “But it’s not every day you see someone like that!” He said, gesturing towards X.
X sighed. The wolf nuzzled him, and his attention turned to her, vocally affirming her belief that “yes she was a very good girl, yes she was….”
Zero muttered under his breath, “Send me the picture.”
Axl grinned, and gave him a thumbs up.
Watching as X continued to be drowned by animals, Zero grew exasperated. “C’mon, X, we don’t have all day!”
“I can’t just get up—”
“Why not just leave him here?” Axl pointed out reasonably. He was getting antsy, since they'd been standing around in the same spot for about fifteen minutes. “S’not like anything’s going to bother us out here anyways.”
Zero considered that. “You know what, that’s a good idea.”
Axl beamed; X gaped. “You’re just going to leave me here? ” He said, completely offended.
Zero didn’t bother with staying to argue. He began to walk away towards their target, his long golden ponytail swishing behind him. “When you get out just track us down.”
“See you later, X!” Axl said cheerfully, and ran after Zero.
Zero called back lazily, “Besides, the faster we get done the faster we show Axl some Disney movies! Hey, Axl, first one to find the weapon gets dibs for movie night!”
“Dibs?!" Axl said, excited.
“Dibs,” X agreed, popping up between the two, though a herd of animals followed him religiously. Truly, in Hunter history, there had never been a faster self-extraction witnessed. He glanced at Zero. “I’m not letting his first Disney movie be the Sword in the Stone .”
“First one to the weapon wins,” Zero said.
“Deal.”
~~~
This mission came to be notable in two ways: one, the fastest self-extraction ever witnessed, and the fastest tracking record ever set.
“I win,” X said serenely.
Zero tsked . “Fine. But it better not be—”
~~~
“Cinderella?” Axl read out tentatively while Zero groaned in the background. “That sounds familiar.” He handed the DVD case over. “This is really old tech, by the way.”
“There are many versions of the story across various cultures,” X explained, taking the case. “It’s a classic Disney movie. And yes, it’s old.” Zero grumbled from his chair. For once, his long golden hair was loose, and ran down his right shoulder like a beam of sunlight.
X rolled his eyes. “She’s also an example of a Disney Princess. It’ll be good for Axl to see where the term came from.”
“Mulan does that too….”
“I’ve had enough blood and fighting for a century,” X said primly. “We can watch a nonviolent movie. For once,” he added under his breath.
Axl glanced at the set-up. “This is really old tech, guys,” he emphasized. “Does it even work? I’ve never even seen a DVD in real-life before. Wasn’t it old by your time like a century ago?”
Zero lazily waved a hand. “Don’t worry. We grew up with this stuff ‘cause Dr. Cain was a nerd. X and I know how to repair and run this kinda stuff since he taught us.”
“An archaeologist, right?” Axl asked. “He liked old things?”
“He found and studied old things,” X said. “And did so because he loved them.” He knelt down and put the DVD into the player.
“X was considered his biggest discovery,” Zero drawled, kicking up his long legs onto the ottoman. “Never really did anything bigger.”
“If you don’t count the creation of the reploid race, sure,” X said. “But he took care of old things.” He cleared his throat. “Raised me and Zero, and basically all of the old guard of Hunters.”
Axl paused. “The ones who….”
“Yes,” Zero said. “He built Sigma and all the others. X and I were…..basically the only Hunters raised by him who didn’t go Sigma’s way in the First War.”
Axl hissed out, “He built—”
“And Signas,” X cut in. “Signas is the only Cainbot left in existence.” There was a very dark and tense pause after that.
“Oh….kay….” Axl said slowly, reading the tension in the room. “If he raised you guys he couldn’t have been too bad.”
The tension relaxed and lightened at Axl’s statement.
“Good guy, but made me do too much philosophy,” Zero said grumpily.
“It was good for you,” X argued back, smiling a little. He then looked at Axl. “He would’ve been good for you, too.” He blinked. “He would have loved you.”
“Would’ve loved to study you, you mean,” Zero said. “Asmiov, can you imagine what Cain’d have done with Axl’s specs to go off of?”
“He would have loved you,” X reiterated to Axl, ignoring Zero with the experience of one who’d been doing it for over a century. “He would have found you funny, charming, and—
“Would’ve given you alcohol,” Zero interrupted. “So much alcohol—Cain loved alcohol, the man was practically a functional drunk. The textbooks don’t say that .”
“Wasn’t ever in school so I wouldn’t know,” Axl replied, shrugging his shoulders. “....would he have given me alcohol?”
X sighed while Zero laughed. “Ohhh yeah,” Zero grinned. “Gave plenty to us when we were growing up.”
“Wait really—”
“It was to test to see how our internal functions handled it,” X said. “Nothing more than that, and nothing ever happened since we can’t get drunk on human-grade.”
“Oh,” Axl blinked, then turned to Zero. “You read textbooks?”
Zero shrugged. “X sends me all the stuff history people send him to check for accuracy.” Zero snickered. “We end up laughing a lot. Also, hey.”
“Huh.”
“Which reminds me, who is in charge of your education?” X frowned. “You’re a ward of the Hunters, so that means you should be going to school, but you’re on missions near-constantly either with us or for Signas since you’re an S rank like us.”
Axl froze. “Uh….” He shot a panicked look to Zero, who raised an eyebrow, but sighed at Axl’s pleading look.
Taking pity on him, Zero snorted. “The movie’s starting, X.”
X blinked as the TV began to light up with the sounds of the movie, and moved back onto the sofa. Axl relaxed, until he realized X was studying him flatly.
“We’re talking about this later,” X told him.
Wilting, Axl nodded glumly.
“After the movies,” Zero said.
Axl perked up. “Movies,” he said cautiously.
“What, you think we’d do just one, like cowards?” Zero said, grinning. “No, we’re doing at least six or seven. Settle in, half-pint, cause we’re not leaving until you’ve seen a good few.”
“Sounds good to me!”
As all three settled down, Zero frowned, looking at his phone before putting it away. He asked Axl, “By the way, what’d you do with the picture? Send it to anyone else?”
Axl shrugged. “Just Alia and Signas, why?”
Zero shrugged. “No reason. Though I wonder that tag #actualDisneyPrincess was all about….”
~~~
In their defense, none of the S-class Hunters were really allowed to use social media in any official capacity. X and Zero had no interest, and Signas had wisely banned Axl from such things ahead of time.
(He was allowed to have accounts, of course, but they were dummy accounts and were not connected with the Hunter association or with himself in any way—too many Mavericks had used it against Hunters too many times for them to be comfortable letting Axl, the least experienced and youngest, having an official account.)
Alia instead was the main Social Media correspondence person, and when Axl had sent her the photo, she had taken liberties into her own hands, posting it immediately to the official Hunters socials pages.
From there, things might’ve…..
~~~
“It has how many views?!”
~~~
…..gotten a little out of hand.
~~~
“Everyone loves it!” Alia defended. “It’s because it’s so heartwarming!” X would believe her if she wasn’t also fighting back laughter.
“They’re also questioning whether it’s real or not,” Zero said, then looked at Alia. “We’d better prove that it’s real.”
“No, we don’t have to do that—” X said.
“We can toss X back into the nature preserve!” Axl agreed cheerfully.
“The nature preserve is better off without me in there—”
“I’m sure the animals miss him,” Zero agreed insincerely.
“Oh! We should drop him from a helicopter!” Axl said. “That way we can film X’s entrance and how quickly the animals flock to him!”
“No?!?! There’s no need for that, since I’m not going— ”
Alia nodded. “It’s been awhile since X has done an aerial drop, so it’ll be good for X to have a refresher.”
“Can’t we just let this die down—”
“It’ll be good for PR,” Signas said evenly. X turned to him, aghast at the betrayal. Signas hid a grin and went on. “S-Class Hunter X, back to the nature preserve you go.”
“Don’t worry, sir, I’ll make sure he gets off the helicopter,” Zero said, saluting him.
X side-eyed him. “Don’t you dare try to kick me off,” he warned.
Zero smiled nastily at him in response.
“I’ll film the entire thing!” Axl said, grinning.
X stared at them. His eyebrow twitched. Who needs enemies when you’ve got friends like these? He wondered.
He narrowed his eyes at them both. One way or another, he swore, he’d get them back for this.
~~~
The video of him falling out of the helicopter into the preserve and immediately attracting its animals like flies to honey, was a global sensation within the hour of it being posted, much to X’s chagrin and the delight of everyone else.
It caused such a stir, in fact, that people began to rewatch the centuries old movies from copies found in old archives and people’s attics. Many were taken from X’s collection he gained when Dr. Cain had died, with his blessing.
And after the Eight War was said and done, some companies began to set their eyes on making remakes of the old classics, such as Rapunzel , leading to….
~~~
Now: Rapunzel Movie Set
“Anyway, so I volunteered Zero to be a stunt double for Rapunzel when her normal one got injured, which is how the company knew his number,” X said. At some point, he'd taken over telling the story, though Zero had thrown in his two bits here and there.
“I thought that was you,” Zero grumbled, picking off pieces of lint off of the dress he was still wearing. “Signas wouldn’t say who.”
“Shouldn’t have kicked me off that helicopter,” X said.
Flynn’s poor stunt double looked shocked, probably due to the sheer amount of pettiness on display. Meanwhile, Rapunzel’s normal stunt double, who was unable to finish the last of the filming due to a broken leg, and who had come up to the group during the story, looked thrilled.
“You mentioned that you’d get Hunter Axl back for it, right? Did you?”
X grinned. “I did.”
Axl groaned. “He did. He put me in school! ” He complained. “I’m a S-Class Hunter and he put me in school! ”
“Stop whining, you big baby,” Zero said. “You should’ve had schooling now before, anyway.”
“Are you going to a physical school?” Rapunzel’s double asked, interested.
Axl groaned again. “No —something something ‘it’s dangerous for the other students’ something something—but I got this weird old curriculum from X that I hafta do, and it’s a looooott ,” he said.
“It’s Dr. Cain’s curriculum,” X said, amused. “Zero, Signas, and I have all done it.”
“But I don’t wanna read Aristotle and Socrates and St. Augustine and….”
“It’s like looking into a mirror of a younger Zero,” X said bemusedly as Axl continued to rattle off name after name.
“I wasn’t that bad,” Zero said.
“....and Austen and Shakespeare and C.S. Lewis….”
“Yes you were.”
“....and Plato and Boethius and Chesterton….”
“Eh, maybe.”
“.....and Lewin and Forte and Tolkien….”
“Axl’s made good progress anyhow,” X concluded.
Axl paused in his rattling of names. “Wait, I have? ”
“For being so behind, you have,” X said.
“Oh. Thanks, I guess…?”
“For S-Class Hunter’s they’re surprisingly chaotic,” Flynn’s stunt double muttered to Rapunzel’s stunt double. He looked as though the world was falling apart as the S-Class Hunters, saviors of the world on multiple occasions, defeaters of Sigma, scourge of Mavericks everywhere, etc. etc., continued to bicker like schoolchildren.
She giggled, and limped forward on her crutches to stand in front of Zero. “Thanks for stepping in!” She beamed. “I know it wasn’t something you normally do, but you were a lifesaver!”
Zero smiled. “Don’t mention it. It was….new,” he ended. “But fun.”
She stepped forward a little closer. “Would you mind taking a picture with me?” She asked, her eyes sparkling.
Zero looked taken aback. “I don’t—”
“Of course!” X said briskly. “We all will!” He grabbed Zero and Axl and pulled them around the stunt double. Flynn’s stunt double crowded around as well, posing for the picture taken from the actress’s phone, and Axl’s as well for good measure.
“Say Cheese!”
~~~
And if a few copies of this photo, with the famed Red Hunter wearing a Rapunzel dress circulated, and if the leading actress of Rapunzel and her stunt double had their own copies signed by Zero and framed in their respective homes, then there was really nothing more to be said on the matter. The Rising Phoenix of Battle was certainly silent on the matter, and most followed suit.
(…..Though Signas having a copy in his office certainly inspired yelling, but that is neither here nor there.)