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Part 9 of My Rated E Fics
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2024-02-22
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2024-05-25
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2/?
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Like Heaven to Touch

Chapter 2

Summary:

All Etho really wants is to be able to talk to Ren without this stupid whiteboard.

Notes:

Hello, pretend it hasn't been months and enjoy the long chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Etho took two more days off, which Beef said was fine and didn’t tell him he was fired, so Etho figured he was alright to come back to work on Tuesday. He was still slightly on edge as he shuffled into his cubicle, wings slightly dropping and very much patchwork style, since he kept finding dark spots and yanking the feathers out. 

 

Etho didn’t think he’d take anymore days off, at least for a while. 

 

Besides, he had time to think about it. If he couldn’t feel forgiven, then he would just have to work harder! That was it! God just…didn’t think he was serious about feeling bad about sinning. So he would just have to try harder to be the best angel he could be, which should be easy since- since- 

 

Well, if Bdubs could do it, so could he. If Beef was the standard of what a good angel should be, Etho would just have to become more like Beef. It was a foolproof plan, really. 

 

“Hey Spots, how was your vacation?” Etho felt his whole spine lock up as Cleo’s voice floated across the office, the nickname a solid reminder that he didn’t know if he got rid of all the darker feathers or not. Who knew what the middle of his back looked like? Cleo popped over the wall after Etho didn’t respond. “Noticed you were gone for…” Cleo faded out as Etho continued to get his stuff adjusted from when he left in a hurry a few days ago. “Etho? Is something wrong?” 

 

A lot of things were wrong. Etho’s throat felt like there was something stopping him from breathing right, a ball of regret still lodged right in his Adam's apple. “Just- Just gotta get started quick today. Playing catch-up, you know?” Etho couldn’t help how tight his voice sounded. 

 

Cleo tilted their head, something like concern flashing on their face as Etho booted up his computer. “I mean, Etho, Beef did get someone to cover for you. You shouldn’t have too much stuff to catch up on-” 

 

“I don’t have time to entertain you, or- or be your plaything right now, Cleo.” Cleo froze as Etho finally looked up at them. “Find a different angel to corrupt, you’ve already messed my life up enough.” Etho watched their eyes widen as before he turned away, typing in his password and ignoring the almost confused noise behind him. 

 

“Etho-” 

 

“Cleo. I’m trying to do my job.” 

 

Etho didn’t look back, but he could imagine the way their jaw would tighten, the way their hands would curl into fists. “Fine. Come talk to me when you’re not being an asshole.” 

 

He ignored them, feeling the guilt twist further in his gut at the sound of them leaving filled the air. He quickly pulled up his monitors, watching Ren leave work. It must be afternoon down on earth. 

 

This was fine. Etho was fine, and no one was looking at him differently for taking days off or what he did with those days because they didn’t know what Etho did. He was fine, Cleo and him would bounce back from this too. Or maybe not, and that would be fine too because in some convoluted way, it was Cleo’s fault that he was like this. Etho would’ve never entertained the idea if Cleo didn’t- 

 

That wasn’t a fair thought either. 

 

Etho huffed, trying to refocus on Ren, who was apparently caught up talking to one of his coworkers by his car. Etho had seen him talk to the guy before, but never after work like this. Usually during lunch breaks, or before. What was his name again?

“No, I’m being serious dude. Sex equals death, clear as day on the mirror.” 

 

Ah. 

 

Etho cringed as he turned up his volume, watching as the other teacher leaned against Ren’s car. “I’m not saying you’re insane, I’m just saying-” 

 

“Martyn!” Etho leaned closer to his monitor, watching as Ren hit the blonde- Martyn, he guesses- on the shoulder while laughing. “I promise I saw what I saw. Creepy stuff and I need to figure out if I’m going crazy.” 

 

Martyn laughed again, but something softer came into his body language that had Etho feeling something uncomfortable in his chest. “Okay…have you thought about summoning it?” 

 

Full stop. 

 

Etho blinked, turning his sound up even more. Summoning it? That didn’t sound right. Ren looked curious though, which meant that Etho was curious about it. “Summoning, huh?” 

 

“Well, you think you got a ghost or a demon, right? So see if you can talk to it without the need for a shower. See if it talks to you again or if you had a weird moment of memory lapse where you guilt tripped yourself for having too much wild sex.” 

 

Ren titled his head, letting out a startled laugh. Etho wasn’t a fan of how his cheeks flushed after the comment though, the way he rubbed the back of his neck like he was embarrassed. “It’s not like that-” 

 

“I know, I know.” Martyn waved him off. “I’m down to try anyway. Sounds fun, don’t you think?” 

 

Etho’s stomach was tight as Ren leaned closer. “I don’t know…” 

 

“We could make a day of it. School is out early this Friday, we research the hell out of it in the meantime, and just try it out? What’s the worst that could happen?”  Etho could think of several things that could go wrong if the two of them were seriously considering this. Ren tilted his head, Martyn mimicking him for a moment before raising an eyebrow. “Come on, Ren, where’s your sense of adventure?” 

 

Something in the back of Etho’s mind pinged, like he just remembered that he was the guardian angel in this whole situation that was supposed to discourage ideas exactly like this. Yet, here he was, watching it happen. Etho’s hand jerked on the mouse, eyes wide as Ren finally relented. “Fine, Fine! It could be fun.” 

 

“It could be fun.” Martyn agreed, offering a wide grin with just enough smug undertone it had Etho’s fingers twitching. “Text me your address, and I’ll come over?” 

 

Etho wanted to warn him not to. He should warn him not to. But the awful feeling in his gut had Etho frozen in his seat, watching as Ren agreed to the plan before the two men split up. 

 

Okay. 

 

Okay! 

 

Etho could handle this. Summoning demons was difficult, first of all. Etho wasn’t even worried about it. There was no reason to be worried about their plans, Marytn and Ren would probably try once and give up. Etho wasn’t worried. 

 

He might be a little worried. 

 

He was a little worried, but not at all, because he was a good angel who would make sure that Ren wouldn’t be able to summon anything this weekend. He would be fine. This was fine. 

 

……

 

This was not fine. 

 

Etho stood in Ren’s kitchen as he watched Martyn and Ren pushed his table out of the way, listening to Martyn ramble on about the correct way to summon a demon. 

 

Which, frustratingly, was mostly correct. 

 

“And the circle thing is bullshit, by the way.” Etho huffed, leaning against the counter as Ren raised a curious eyebrow. Obviously it was bullshit. No one in their right mind was actually scared of circles. Etho could’ve told Ren that. “Oh! I brought candles too. You got a book right?” 

 

This fucker. Etho tapped his foot against the ground, rolling his eyes as Ren listened, enthused. It really wasn’t that interesting, what Martyn was telling Ren. Etho could tell him so much more. You know, if he could actually talk to the guy. Nevermind the fact that they were doing this because Etho disrupted the veil a bit. Just a little. Nothing that warranted this kind of response.

 

Shit. He just swore. And he just swore again. 

 

Etho grimaced, looking down at the rubberband he had placed on his wrist for this very reason. Biting his lip, Etho was quick to pull it back against his skin twice. No swearing. It was just a reminder. It was fine. It wasn’t bad or anything, it was a reminder, no matter what Bdubs said when he mentioned the idea as a hypothetical. What did Bdubs know anyways, he wasn’t having problems with being a bad angel. He was perfect, dealing with early feather molting because of the stress his human was causing. He wouldn’t know what Etho was talking about anyways, so it didn’t matter if he listened to his advice anyway. Or maybe he should since he was so good at being a angel that-

 

“Etho?” 

 

Jumping back at the sound of his name, Etho was quick to grab back onto the counter while his head whipped around like it was on a swivel chair. What the- 

 

“Oh my god, Etho.” 

 

Oh shit. 

 

Another quick flick of the rubberband, but Etho couldn’t really be worried about that as Cleo was starting to form in front of him. Shoot, he had been so focused on his own problems he didn’t even attempt to stop the apparent successful summoning happening in front of him. “Cleo?!” Etho choked out, watching as their own confusion showed on their face. “Oh shoot- Cleo you’re-” 

 

“Well, this is certainly interesting.” Cleo looked down at their body, and then around at their surroundings before offering a shit-eating grin at him. “A little out of practice, huh Spots?” 

 

Glaring, Etho quickly looked down at Marytn’s and Ren’s summoning materials before cringing. Yep, they had really done their research. “Cleo, you can’t be here. They don’t know what they’re doing-” 

 

“I mean, I’m inclined to tell you I can since I’m currently being summoned but-” Cleo gasped as they looked at the two men, a delighted smile falling on their face as Etho groaned. “Oh my days, they’re trying to contact you! Oh Etho, that’s so sweet, wait-” 

 

“Cleo, don’t patronize me.” 

 

“I’m not!” Cleo shifted more into their physical form, a loud gasp from Ren as every single one of his windows flew open due to the summoning. Fucking demons, always have to make an enterance. 

 

Etho snapped the rubberband again. 

 

“Oh my god Etho! This is so cute. It’s kind of gross, actually. But sweet too.” They were clearly patronizing him. Etho glared harder. Cleo ignored him. “I mean, it’s less cute because I’m currently being summoned instead of you and that’s gonna get really messy when I finally get pulled to the realm because of contracts and all that, but-” 

 

“Wait, contracts?”

“I mean, Etho.” Cleo offered a genuinely apologetic smile and a shrug. “I have work to do too. If they’re willingly summoning a demon, I’m obligated to try for a contract of some sort. It’s in the job description. You would know if you would finally transfer over-” 

 

“Cleo, you can’t!” Etho interrupted, panic overflowing his chest as Cleo’s smile dropped. “I can’t have Ren doing that or making contracts, I would get fired for sure. Oh my god, I’m in so much trouble.” Cleo continued to look more and more concerned as Etho continued to spiral. “Oh my god, Cleo this is so bad.” 

 

Cleo tried to take a step towards Etho, probably to calm him down, but it became very evident that they weren’t going to be able to move from their spot until someone or something interrupted the summoning Martyn was still successfully doing. 

 

Etho was gonna get written up again, wasn’t he? 

 

Cleo seemed to realize what he was going to do before he did, since they were shaking their head before Etho went and launched himself across the counter and into their basically physical form, the shift between realms making him nausea and also making him knock a candle over and successfully disrupt the ritual. Ren was immediately on the ground, putting out the fire as Etho took a shaky breath in. 

 

That was good. That was good, right?

 

“Oh my god-” 

 

Etho didn’t even have time to process that Martyn was currently staring right at him, looking at him, since Cleo was quick to grab his wrist and offer a sarcastic wave at the mortal. “Hello, don’t do that again.” And flashed them out of there before either of the mortals could ask any questions. 

 

Beef was going to have questions. 

 

Joel was going to have questions. 

 

“What were you thinking?” Cleo hissed as soon as Etho appeared in their office, feathers worse for wear and a very angry demon in front of him. 

 

“I don’t think I was thinking.” 

 

“I don’t think you were thinking either!” Cleo’s voice had an unusual pitch to it, something close to panic as they were quick to pace around their office. “Oh gods Etho! That was so dangerous, why-” 

 

“I didn’t hurt any of the mortals, and we got out of there before they could ask-” 

 

“This isn’t about the mortals, Etho!” Etho froze as flames lit on the edges of Cleo’s hair, the demon coming and gripping onto his shoulders just a bit too tightly to be comfortable. The two of them stared at each other as Cleo took a deep breath in and out, like they were trying to get their emotions under control before they let out a tight laugh. Etho looked up at the ceiling while Cleo’s head knocked against his shoulder, another round of almost wet laughs leaving them as Etho slowly wrapped his arms around them. “Gods, you’re so stupid.” Cleo pulled their face back before Etho could even respond to that, holding on to his face, turning it back and forth like they were checking it for bruises before letting out a long breath. “Your wings are all messed up.” Etho didn’t really get what was happening, but he nodded once as Cleo let go of his face and sat themselves on their desk, wedging a chair in between their legs. “Sit.” 

 

Etho sat. 

 

It was quiet, Etho trying and failing to figure out why Cleo was so…worried about him. He would think they would be angry for interrupting the ritual, messing up work like that. Cleo’s hand shook as they efficiently moved his remaining feathers back into place, careful not to pull or tug. “I didn’t mean to worry you.” Etho finally mumbled, sinking lower in the chair as Cleo let out a huff. 

 

“I know.” 

 

Acknowledgment. Nothing more, nothing less. Etho cringed as Cleo moved closer to his back. “I mean it, I really don’t mean to stress you out or-” 

 

“Etho.” A clawed hand wrapped around his jaw, making him look up at Cleo, who was staring down at him with a mix of emotions Etho didn’t know how to decipher. “I know you don’t mean to. I’m going to be stressed anyway, that's just how I work. I worry about my friends.”    

 

Friends. 

 

Cleo and him were friends. And Etho had been so mean to them earlier. Etho blinked up at them, Cleo clearly waiting for a response before letting his face go. Etho kept his face in the uncomfortable position anyway, if only so he could study their face further. “Okay.” Etho swallowed hard as Cleo refocused on his wings. Etho was starting to think Cleo was doing his wings to calm themselves down, since their hands slowly went from shaking to normal the longer they went. “I didn’t mean to get mad at you earlier this week. I just found out I can swear.” 

 

Cleo’s hands in his wings froze. 

 

“You can…swear?” Cleo finally asked after a few moments. “Like,” 

 

“Like shit. Or fuck. Or hell.” Etho interrupted, swallowing again as Cleo’s eyes grew larger. Their eyes darted to where Etho flicked his rubberband three times, eyes hardening at the motion. “I’m working on it.” 

 

There was another round of silence as a conflicted look flashed on their face, but it quickly fell into something neutral as Cleo placed their hand back on his shoulder. “All done.” Cleo swallowed as Etho stood out of his chair to face them. “Listen, if Beef or Joel asks, just say I messed up the ritual because I saw you, okay? I can take the heat. You’re gonna have your hands full anyway.” 

 

What did Cleo mean by that? Etho went to ask, but as a tired look fell over his friend, Etho decided to ask them later. “Thank you.” Etho managed to choke out, the urge to cry over nothing coming back as Cleo waved a hand like it wasn’t something big. 

 

“You’re welcome, Etho.” Cleo offered a tired smile, moving around to actually sit at their desk. “Now get out of here, I’m sure your human is-” 

 

“Oh shoot! Ren!” 

 

Cleo’s laugh echoed in his brain as Etho quickly hurried back to his own cubicle. He sat down, wings giving a shake as he settled into his chair. Going to turn on his monitor, Etho was quick to realize what Cleo was referring to earlier. Etho watched his hand go through the screen, hand almost all the way there but not quite. 

 

Which was not fine. 

 

Etho pulled it back, watching his monitor flicker too, before looking at his palm. Not quite in the afterlife, not quite in the mortal realm. 

 

He was in quite a pickle, as Beef would say. 

 

……

 

As an angel, Etho had a fantastic ability to look at a situation and see the good in it. As a… faulty angel, Etho could choose if he was going to see the good or not. 

 

Etho didn’t know what he wanted to do. 

 

So, he did what he thought would be best. Since he was stuck in the in-between until he actually filed the paperwork to reset his own body, Etho figured he would make the best of it. And by the best of it, he meant helping out around Ren’s house since he could do that now. 

 

Kind of. It took a lot of energy to interact with the physical items but it wasn’t like Etho was using it for anything else. So Etho did the dishes when they started to stack up when Ren left for work, he straightened out house pillows and made the bed. Heck, he even closed all the cabinets and cupboards when Ren for some reason left them all open one day. 

 

On a totally different note, Ren was stressed as hell for some reason. 

 

After another snap to his wrist, Etho sat on the bathroom counter, watching as his human stripped down for another shower. He was stressed because of the demon haunting his house, which Martyn hadn’t been back to, much to the pleasure of Etho. 

 

Not pleasure. Martyn was a good friend to Ren. Etho should feel bad that Martyn seemed really shaken up at the encounter, and that Cleo may or may not have come back a few days after the incident with a shiny new contract they wouldn't let Etho look at. “It would burn the rest of your feathers off, Spots. And we don’t want that, at least till your transfer paperwork is finalized.” 

 

Etho didn’t really want to know anyways. 

 

Well, maybe a little. He was a curious angel, after all. 

 

Ren took a deep breath in, shower running and hot if the steam collecting on the mirror was any indicator. “Okay.” Etho blinked, looking more at his human, who was now gripping the counter, knuckles almost white. “Okay. I don’t know how to do this.” 

 

Tilting his head, Etho hopped off the counter to look at the two of them as Ren let out a slightly off laugh. “I’m going crazy.” He mumbled before clearing his throat. “Hey, demon that's very kind but is very clearly still haunting my house…” Etho’s brain fizzled out as Ren spoke into the air, looking all around since he didn’t really know where to look. Ren was talking to him. Or, a version of him that really wasn’t him but was. It was him, just not a demon. “...and the dishes, that’s really nice too. I uhhh…I just don’t even know who I’m talking to, or living with I guess. I don’t even have your name.” 

 

Etho blinked at Ren, wings fluttering out at the fact that Ren wanted to know his name, even if it was probably to banish him or whatever he thought he could do. He glanced at the mirror, then back at Ren, finally putting the pieces together. 

 

Ah, his human was a smart one. 

 

Etho leaned over the counter, dragging his finger through the condensation, anxiety and anticipation flooding over him as Ren took a step back from the surface.  

 

“Etho?” Ren offered a lopsided grin that had Etho’s stomach cramping up. He nodded even though Ren couldn’t see him, excitement almost overflowing his body. “Hello, Etho.” 

 

“Hi.” Etho whispered, his own voice not reaching Ren’s ears. Instead, after the realization of that hit his chest, Etho was quick to write on the mirror again. He was running out of space very quickly. 

 

Not a demon, by the way. 

 

That earned him a chuckle, though one slightly on edge as Ren gripped onto the counter. “I’m starting to realize that, since you’ve been very helpful this week. Or at least, tried to be.” Etho felt his face flush deeper. Ren let out another laugh that was more relieved than anything. “God, I thought I was going crazy. I’m probably going crazy.” Etho frowned as Ren looked back up from the mirror. “I’m gonna need to buy more glass cleaner.” 

 

Etho didn’t want him to have to buy stuff just to talk to him. Wait, he probably shouldn’t be talking to him in the first place. That was probably against the whole angel code, if he thought about it for too long. Therefore, he wasn’t thinking about it. 

 

That was a solution, right? 

 

The haze had kind of covered up what he had written earlier, so with a shaky hand, Etho leaned over the counter again. 

 

Guardian angel

 

“Ahhh.” Ren tilted his head for a moment before a tiny flush started to creep on his face. “So your message when you first…” 

 

Shoot.

 

Etho scrambled to the mirror again, dragging his finger through the build up before running out of space. 

 

You’re fine! Just me getting stressed about the whole

 

Etho huffed, suddenly agreeing on the glass cleaner comment. Ren however, jumped slightly back. “Oh, oh you are…really close.” Etho blinked, huffing again, watching the glass fog up faster due to his breath. 

 

His breath. Because he was in the in-between. Right. 

 

Sorry 

 

“You’re fine.” Ren was quick to wave him off, kind of but not really in his direction, but it was clear an attempt was made. “I’m gonna say that the first thing was a compulsory reaction more than an actual warning?” Etho nodded, once again forgetting Ren couldn’t see him. 

 

Yep yep

 

Ren grinned, offering a lopsided smile that looked both parts panicked and amused. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.” Ren mumbled under his breath, before clearing his throat. “So I guess I have to thank you for protecting us from the demon summoning that we tried to do?” 

 

Cringing, Etho thought back on that event for a moment as the mirror continued to streak. He really was running out of space here. It was no big deal, we work together

 

Ren tilted his head, letting his water bill continue to climb as Etho let out a tiny sigh. This was totally against something he was supposed to do, he was sure of it. Misplaced guilt was starting to climb up his throat again, and Etho really didn’t want to be working while having a panic attack. 

 

You’re naked 

 

Ren seemed to have forgotten that fact, face flushing a wonderful color that had Etho watching as it darkened the longer Ren continued to stand there. “Right. Oh my goodness, you’re right. Uh, I’ll be quick. I promise! I mean, I’ll wash everything really well but- Just wait here-” Etho watched, letting out a tiny giggle as Ren scrambled for the shower, grumbling that all the hot water was probably already gone. “Really Etho, just stay right there I’ll be fast-” There was a clatter, probably Ren dropping something, but all Etho could focus on was the way his name sounded in Ren’s voice. Swallowing hard, Etho forced himself to take a step away from the mirror. 

 

This was a mistake. Etho was supposed to be doing better about following the rules, not bending them. And sure, Etho didn’t know if he was breaking the rules, but he wouldn’t be feeling guilty if he wasn’t, right? Etho left, a light and heavy feeling in his chest at the turn of events. Even though he was feeling guilty, Etho couldn’t help the tiny, giddy smile on his face as he went back to the office. 

 

His name sounded really good in Ren’s voice. 

 

His name looked really good when it was written in Ren’s handwriting too, Etho realized when he found a sticky note on the fridge the next day. 

 

Etho, I tried talking to you after my shower but I think you left. If I scared you away, I’m very sorry. If not, I think I have a solution for us that saves a lot on the water bill. 

 

So here he was a few hours later, dishes once again clean since Ren was finally taking his suggestion to eat in more seriously, watching as Ren placed a white board and marker on the counter. “Etho?” Ren called out, looking around the room as Etho struggled not to swoon at his name again. “I got the lightest one I could find, since I don’t really know how…this whole thing works. But I figured if it was lighter maybe you could hold it? Oh,” Ren uncapped the marker before placing it back. “There.” Ren watched the whiteboard intently as Etho slowly lifted the marker up. 

 

Well, what was one more time? He had gone out of his way to get the stuff, after all. 

 

Had to go back to work, sorry about last night 

 

Ren let out an honest to god giggle, something like nerves flooding through his voice as Etho huffed. “You’re fine, you’re so fine. I need to sit down.” Etho watched with mild concern as Ren collapsed on one of his kitchen chairs. “Okay. Three times is actually happening, right? Once is an accident, twice is…a habit? Fuck, how did that saying go?” Ren let out another breathless laugh as Etho wrote on the board again. 

 

Once is by chance, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern?

 

“Exactly!” Ren snapped his fingers in a totally different direction than where Etho was standing, but he appreciated the attempt just the same. “Yes, Etho. Because you’re real. Because I’m not talking to nothing in my apartment.” 

 

You are not talking to nothing in your apartment. I’m a human..oid? An angel. 

 

“And if I brought Martyn here, you would still write?” 

 

Etho wrinkled his nose. 

 

I would not be happy, but yes i would write if you wanted me too 

 

Ren read his words, confusion flashing on his face as Etho wiped the words away. “That’s fine, you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to. This can just be a me and you thing.” 

 

A me and you thing. Etho’s chest felt like there were hundreds of bees flying around, like they were trying to escape through his throat and make him yell or do something even more embarrassing. 

 

I would like that.

 

His human grinned, looking around the room before settling more in his seat. “So, Etho. What’s it like being an angel?” 

 

Etho never once thought his stupid prank would lead to this. All his guilt went out the window as soon as Ren pulled out the whiteboard in the afternoon when he got off work, and it only came back when he went to the office to do paperwork. The easy solution was to just stay on location, which wasn’t weird since Etho had a habit of doing that anyway. Ren asked so many questions, from what he did for work to what color his hair was and how much air time Etho had when flying. 

 

(Nothing as exciting as visiting with Ren, white and long enough to go in a bun, and Angel’s didn’t really fly much, so Etho didn’t know) 

 

Etho didn’t ask as many questions, mostly because Etho had been watching Ren for so long that he already knew almost everything about him. Ren didn’t seem to mind, since he was full of questions anyways, but when he didn’t have any Ren would talk nonsense. It was kind of funny, now that he knew he had an audience, it was like Ren couldn’t shut his mouth. He seemed a little embarrassed when Etho told him he was now able to recite his favorite movie line for line since he had sat through it that much, but even then all Ren did was offer to watch the sequel instead. 

 

It was just as bad as the first one, though Etho didn’t didn’t tell him that. 

 

It was fun, it was scary and new and exciting and as long as Etho never slowed down enough to actually think of what he was doing, he was having the time of his not-life-life. Sure, Cleo was getting worried about his half-status he was sitting at, Bdubs too, but neither of them had forced him to go to his appropriate higher ups yet, so Etho was probably in the clear with all of this. Etho could safely say Ren was a friend now, which was…

 

Was more than Etho could ever dream of. He was so happy about it, his heart hurt when he thought about it. 

 

Sometimes though, his heart hurted for other reasons. 

 

He wasn’t sure why, but sometimes, his chest would feel like a rock was on top of it when Ren did certain things or talked about certain people. Mainly, and Etho hated this, Martyn. 

 

Martyn was a great friend for Ren. Etho knew this. He also knew Martyn was a horrible flirt and from what Cleo said in a passing comment, wasn’t ‘too horrible’ in bed. 

 

High praise, coming from a succubus. 

 

Etho had been watching Ren and Martyn for a while. Ren and Martyn were friends. Very friendly friends with barely any physical boundaries and a tendency to flirt an overwhelming amount while they were together, but friends. 

 

So Etho’s chest shouldn’t feel so tense. It shouldn’t matter if they were more than friends either.

 

Ren was cooking some kind of pasta when the dam broke, Etho sitting on the counter next to him while swinging his legs through the air and listening to Ren talk about his day. Etho had recently started moving the air around him a bit more, with his leg movements or breath, just so Ren could get a better understanding of where he was in the space surrounding them. “And really, you would think Martyn would know not to get after the kid since this kid had been in my office more than…” Etho didn’t think as he mindlessly scribbled on the whiteboard, only realizing he was after Ren stopped talking to look at what he wrote. 

 

So are you and martyn dating? 

 

Ren blinked at the board as Etho scrambled to explain himself. 

 

Because you flirt a lot is all not because i've seen you kiss or anything just me wondering because i don’t know if my human is dating anyone

 

Etho forced himself to stop writing, fingers tight around the marker as Ren slowly nodded. 

 

“No, he’s just a friend.” Ren let out a laugh with that comment, something dark curdling in Etho’s gut as he turned away from the stove. “Why? You jealous?” 

 

Jealous. 

 

Etho blinked, watching Ren watch the whiteboard, clearly waiting for his response. He was joking, Etho knew that. Ren was just joking and Etho should take it as a joke and-

 

Good angels don’t get jealous, Ren. 

 

Etho’s writing was shaky, his handwriting more jagged than normal as Ren snorted. Good angels don’t get jealous. Jealousy was a sin afterall, and Etho wouldn’t even know what jealousy would feel like because he wasn’t jealous. 

 

“Right.” Ren was still joking. He was in a joking mood. He was just joking. “Because good angels also talk to their humans they’re protecting.” 

 

Etho’s gut dropped. The marker slipped out of his hand as the words resonated deep into his bones, mouth hanging slightly open as he watched Ren turn around to flip whatever he was cooking. Etho was a good angel. Etho had convinced Ren to start cooking for himself, that was a good thing, right? Etho had made sure Ren didn’t leave his lights on when he left for work in the morning, he made his commute faster, he-

 

“Etho?” Ren flipped back around after turning off the burner, smile fading as he looked down at the whiteboard. The words were the same, though in Etho’s panic he did accidentally smudge the word good. Etho stared down at it with him, jaw tight and fingers digging into the sides of his arms as he held himself tight. “Etho, are you still here?” Ren glanced around the room, his smile turning tense as he glanced down at the board again. “I didn’t mean-” 

 

Shit, Ren thought Etho’s meltdown was his fault. And he just swore again, dang it. He scrambled for the marker, bumping Ren’s plate slightly and making the man jump. “Oh, you are here. Listen, Etho, I didn’t mean to make you upset-” 

 

I’m fine! 

 

Ren’s jaw tightened at the writing, teeth biting his bottom lip as Etho gently placed the marker down before snapping the rubberband against his wrist. Ren looked at the direction the marker was facing, eyes narrowing for a moment before looking directly at him

 

Etho couldn’t breathe. Which was, of course, not needed for him, but the sensation was still there. Clearly, Ren wasn’t seeing him, he had used the way Etho had placed the marker down as a point of estimation and had gotten lucky. Still, Etho felt frozen in place at the accidental eye contact, at the way Ren looked serious for once. 

 

“Etho, I’m trying to apologize. I didn’t mean to make you feel upset- if you do, I suppose I don’t know for sure- but I want you to know I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you weren’t the best angel I've ever met.” Etho’s heart was working overtime as Ren’s eyes grew softer. “Which doesn’t mean much coming from me, I know. But I couldn’t imagine a better guardian angel than you.” Etho’s hands were shaking as he reached for the marker again, fingers barely moving it an inch only to be stopped as Ren grabbed it first. “You deserve an apology. How you feel isn’t less than how I do.” 

 

Exposed. 

 

Etho had never felt more exposed than this, eyes unseeing but seeing every part of him he didn’t want shown. Hell, he had been naked before and it felt less intimidating than this. Ren placed the marker back onto the counter. 

 

I forgive you. 

 

Shaky still. Even more so, Etho thought, looking at the two of his messages. Ren read it, eyes narrowing for a moment as Etho quickly wrote more. 

 

Sorry for overreacting. 

 

Ren shook his head, glancing up to give Etho a half-smile that was enough to make his heart stop completely. “Nothing to be sorry about.” He couldn’t seem to get his breathing under control as Ren wiped the whiteboard off himself, taking care to get rid of every little smudge before placing the marker back where Etho had left it. “There, a clean slate. Both of us are forgiven.” 

 

Forgiven. That easily?

 

No one could be forgiven that easily, Etho could attest to that. Etho’s wings could attest to that. Ren couldn’t see his struggle to grasp the concept however, so Etho watched with glazed eyes as Ren hummed and plated up his food. “Movin’ to the table, you coming with?” 

 

It was like a trance, the comment of a clean slate echoing in his head the rest of the night. Etho followed him to the table, writing short answers to any questions Ren could come up with but otherwise staying quiet as the late night crept closer. It wasn’t till Ren was getting ready for bed Etho seemed to get out of his haze of confusion, setting it aside for the time being and settling on the edge of Ren’s bed like normal. 

 

Ren, however, seemed to be hovering. He was clearly tired- so was Etho, if he was being honest, it was hard to interact with physical objects so often- be he was clearly looking for things to do other than go to bed. Etho tilted his head as Ren opened his drawer for his socks a third time. 

 

What are you doing?

 

Ren looked uneasy as Etho watched him read his message. “I’m going to bed.” Ren tried to smile at his direction, but the motion didn’t feel natural. Etho pursed his lips together. 

 

I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve watched your night routine long enough to know you’re not going to bed. 

 

Ren flushed, Etho blinking at the reaction before a defeated sigh left his human. “Okay, honesty time then. Have you watched me jerk off?” 

 

Ooh. That's awkward. 

 

Etho had the weird feeling of being caught, like his hand got stuck in the metaphorical candy jar and now he was reaping the consequences. “Etho?” Ren asked at Etho’s silence, biting his lip for a moment before letting out another sigh. “Etho, I’m not angry if you have. Being a guardian angel probably means you’ve been looking after me…all times of the day and night. I just wanted to know if I should stop. Like if it’s making you uncomfortable or-” 

 

It’s totally fine!

 

Yikes, that was forward. Ren looked at his writing for a moment before something close to amusement flashed on his face. “It’s fine? It’s not a sin?” 

 

Do you consider it a sin?

 

There was a pause as Ren’s eyes narrowed after reading Etho’s response, pulling his shirt over his head and flinging it in the direction of his laundry basket. “I don’t. I think it’s natural.” 

 

Then it's not a sin for you. Its fine 

 

Ren sat on the edge of his bed, unbuckling his belt as Etho waited for him to say anything back. He would probably ask Etho to leave, or stop watching him at those time, which was…totally fine. Completely normal thing to ask of him. And Etho would stop watching and everything would be okay. “Okay, let me rephrase the question then. Are you uncomfortable watching me jerk off?” Etho huffed. Ren really was making this difficult. 

 

No

 

Etho paused before biting the bullet in hopes to get the whole thing over with. 

 

I find it interesting 

 

Ren blinked in surprise, tilting his head further as he pulled off his jeans. “Interesting?” 

 

Swallowing hard, Etho figured it was best to just get everything out in the open. 

 

Never seen a penis before. Very interesting. The faces you make are also nice to look at

 

“Lord help me.” Etho watched as Ren’s face quickly turned flushed, looking up at the ceiling before back at the board. “Okay,” Ren’s voice was higher pitched than Etho was used to. “So not a problem then, good to know. Good to know.” Ren tried to clear his throat, then attempted again before giving up as he ran his hand over his face. 

 

I also like your noises 

 

“Okay!” Ren jumped up, tripping slightly as his pants dropped around his ankles. “Awsome, fantastic news. I- I’m gonna go shower- you wait here- and clear my head a bit and we can talk more. Stay. I’ll be quick.” 

 

Etho reached out, frowning as Ren basically ran into his bathroom and quickly shut the door behind him. 

 

Great. 

 

His heart hurt again, but this time it wasn’t as fun. It wasn’t the same as with Martyn either, this one felt like a void hole curling and making home in his gut, something eating at his insides and making him feel empty. Stay there. Like a pet. Etho’s fingers dug into the mattress, actually making dents in the fabric as he stared down at the floor. He was just being honest, why did that feel like the wrong thing to do? The shower turned off, really solidifying the fact Ren was being honest about taking a quick one. Honest. Both of them were honest. That was good, right? 

 

So why did Etho feel horrible about it?

 

Ren threw open the door, looking around almost like he was trying to make sure Etho was still there even though he wouldn’t be able to see him anyway. A towel was wrapped around his waist, water still dripping off the ends of his hair as Etho huffed. He was…annoyed? Frustrated? Irritable? Something, at the lack of communication. If Ren wanted him to leave, he should just say so. If Etho said something wrong, Ren should help him understand what to say instead. Of course, all that line of thinking made Etho feel worse because it wasn’t Ren’s fault that Etho didn’t know social cues or whatever. “...Etho? Are you still here?” Ren finally asked, slowly walking towards the bed and glancing over to the whiteboard. “Etho?” 

 

I'm here you told me to stay

 

Ren’s shoulders relaxed as Etho placed the whiteboard to the side. “Okay, I just didn’t know. Last time I asked you still had to go so…” Ren faded out as Etho crossed his legs on the bed. Ren followed the way the air moved in front of him, hand reaching out slightly until he reached where Etho’s knee would be if he could see him. “This is weird, I’m not gonna lie.” 

 

Etho blinked up at him, then at the way his hand seemed to hover over his knee. Etho should offer to leave. Etho would…he just wanted to see what Ren was going to say. He placed the whiteboard on his lap, uncapping the marker again and waiting for Ren to continue. “I don’t- god this is crazy, I’m going insane- I’m going crazy, okay?” Etho blinked again as Ren ran a hand through his hair. “It’s been a few months Etho, and I don’t want to make you leave because I love your company-” Etho’s chest hurted again at that admission. “-and I want to make sure you’re comfortable too! Like, surely an angel doesn’t want to see that but in the worst way possible I am pent up and usually I’d just suggest the ol’ wank session together but…you know.” 

 

Etho didn’t know. Etho didn’t know and now he was going to have to ask. 

 

Wank session? 

 

Ren’s face grew even more red, even more flustered as Etho wrote again. 

 

I’m not aware of what that is, but we can try if that makes you feel better 

 

Anything to make Ren feel better about this whole thing. Ren looked down at the board, a tiny groan leaving his lips that Etho couldn’t focus on since Ren’s towel had slipped down his hips slightly. “Ah, don’t worry about it. It was just me thinking out loud and-” 

 

I want you to be comfortable. I want to try, I can try

 

“Of course you want to try.” Ren mumbled under his breath. Etho shifted on the bed, Ren watching the mattress move for a moment before clearing his throat. “I meant we could,” Another long-suffering sigh. Etho was starting to think Ren felt embarrassed by his questions. “Mutually masterbate. Jerk one out together. Wank session.” 

 

Huh. 

 

Etho tilted his head before realizing Ren was done. Then- 

 

I don’t have a penis to jerk 

 

Etho held up the whiteboard, watching Ren read the board, then look at where Etho would be, then at the board again. Etho shifted again, suddenly much more uncomfortable before something like clarity crossed Ren’s face. “Oh! Oh, Etho, that’s fine it’s not-” There was a tiny chuckle that had Etho’s cheeks warming up as Ren sat down next to him. “It’s just a saying. Mutually get one out. Orgasm as friends. Jerk one out, it doesn't matter how you do it.” 

 

The feeling of guilt looming around the corner wasn’t enough to stop Etho from nodding along, only for him to freeze before erasing the whiteboard and confirming it there. 

 

I can do that

 

“You can?” Ren didn’t sound like he was judging, but curious, but the same gut dropping feeling hit Etho anyway. “Ah, I didn’t mean it badly! I was just surprised, angel and all.” 

 

Anything that would help me guide my human better is permitted

 

Was that a lie? No, surely not. Etho was just…Etho was being helpful. His human wanted him to do this, so it would be helpful, right? Helpful, that's what Beef said to be. Helpful. Ren was biting his lip, seemingly considering what Etho was saying before offering a tiny knowing grin. “I mean, this would totally help guide me.” There was a tone in his voice that had Etho’s insides feeling warm, like Ren himself didn’t believe what he was saying but was going along with- 

 

Was going along with what was the truth. Guiding. Helping. This would be permitted. 

 

Etho watched the towel shift even lower. 

 

“I’m trusting that you’re gonna do this with me.” Etho tore his eyes off the towel, though they were quick to flick back there since Ren’s finger- those fingers- were now playing with the knot, like he was considering untying it. “If I find out you were lying to me…” 

 

He was joking, but Etho was quick to scramble for the board anyway. 

 

Pants are already off 

 

Okay, that was a lie, but Etho was currently pulling them off as he wrote so it was-

 

Both of them froze as Etho’s bottoms materialized on the floor of Ren’s bedroom. 

 

That wasn’t supposed to happen.  

 

“Oh my god.” Etho could understand that. Ren’s eyes were blown wide, leaning down and poking at the fabric. “Oh my god.” 

 

Good oh my god or bad oh my god?

 

The laugh was strained, Ren barely glancing up to read what Etho had written before looking back down at his pants. “I’m not sure. Is that supposed to happen?” 

 

No, not really. But Etho was also not supposed to be talking to him like this, so that was the least of his problems. 

 

I’m sure it's fine

 

“That did not give me a vote of confidence.” Etho frowned, looking at his board again before placing it to the side of the bed and grabbing the hem of his shirt. Pulling it over his head, Etho didn’t look before tossing it on the ground next to his pants and by default, on top of Ren’s hand where he was still poking at the fabric. “Oh- oh okay, you are-” 

 

Are we doing this or did i scare you off?

 

“Not scared off!” Etho huffed as Ren looked up from the pile of clothes, eyes still blown wide and towel still annoyingly around his waist. Which, as Etho eyed the knot of the fabric, gave him an idea. “Totally not scared off. I’m so casual about the literal angel very willing to have some form of sex in my bed right now. Very cool about it.” 

 

It doesnt feel like youre being very cool about this

 

“I’m adjusting to it.” Ren immediately responded as Etho bounced himself off the bed. His feet landed on the pile of his clothes, Ren watching him make indents before stepping off. “I’m very cool with what’s happening right now.” 

 

Etho couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him, only growing as Ren jerked slightly at the way Etho pulled at the knot in the towel. “Oh, yep! You are right in front of me and-” His voice was choked, hands coming up and holding the knot so Etho couldn’t untie it. He huffed, which in turn made Ren jerk back. “Etho, wait.” 

 

“Come on.” Etho couldn’t help but groan, the word probably felt against Ren’s skin somehow since he watched a shiver run down his spine.

 

 “Hands above the towel, yeah?” Etho slumped, but nodded, pausing for a moment before beginning to take a step back to grab his white board. “Wait!” Etho froze as Ren’s hand went through his wrist like he was trying to grab it. He was getting better at guessing where he was, Etho would give him that. “Talk. please. Just so I can get a good idea where you are.” 

 

Swallowing hard, Etho stepped even closer, placing his hand hesitantly against Ren’s cheek even though he couldn’t feel it. It was more for himself than Ren anyways. “I’ll keep my hands above the towel.” Etho whispered, voice feeling shaky and eyes stuck on Ren’s face even as the towel hit his feet. After a moment, Etho’s hand phased through him, landing at his side.

 

Gods, this was surreal. Etho couldn’t take his eyes off of Ren’s face, watching as his eyes fluttered closed and feeling the way his hand phased through him to reach lower. He knew Ren couldn’t hear him talking, Etho thought it might be too much if he could, but the fact he wanted to at least feel the words as his breath was overwhelming in itself. In a good or bad way, Etho still couldn’t tell. 

 

The whole thing about mutual masterbation was the mutual part, but Etho couldn’t find it in himself to pull his boxers down when Ren was looking like that. Besides, the way they were standing wouldn’t be the best angle for him anyways. Ren was panting harder, fist tight around himself as Etho finally looked down. He was just so pretty like this, face flushed and voice tight. He was really attractive all the time, but being this close, being allowed and wanted this close, really had Etho looked harder. It was so odd, being this turned on just by watching someone else, but with a shaky exhale Etho finally reached his own hand lower. 

 

Just through the fabric. Etho could handle the guilty if it was through the fabric. His breath hitched as soon as he felt his hand make contact with himself, the resulting shaky laugh from his partner making him jerk back for a second. “There we go, feels good, yeah?” Ren mumbled, the dots connecting and making Etho flush further. 

 

The breath. Etho’s breath hadn’t changed like Ren’s hand, which was an indicator Etho wasn’t doing this with him until Ren felt a change in the air around him.   

 

Sneaky. 

 

“Yeah.” Etho whispered anyway, since it felt polite to answer the question and because watching Ren’s grin grow wider was something Etho didn’t think he’d get sick of seeing. “You can’t tell what I’m saying right now, but it feels good.” 

 

Ren groaned, hand speeding up as Etho clenched his eyes shut. It did feel good, which was probably bad, but even with the guilt all Etho did was follow Ren’s example. This was totally against some kind of protocol, Etho was sure. His wings were probably pitch black if he looked back, Ren probably would be terrified if he could see him right now. 

 

That thought had Etho’s hand slowly down slightly, chest heaving and mind refocusing just in time to hear a low groan from his partner before watching him spill over his hand. The orgasm was much more than normal, Etho had to admit, since the cum seemed to shoot out farther than normal, some of it  landing and materializing against his thigh. 

 

Huh. Etho didn’t know how to feel about that. He should probably feel worried, but all Etho could really think of was how the transference of physical objects and anything with a soul was unfair, because it was lame that Ren could see his cum against Etho’s thighs but couldn’t touch him. 

 

Ren clearly was into it though, since he pumped harder at the realization. Etho stood still, letting another few drops land against his skin and drip down slightly until Ren finally let go. Etho blinked down at it, head tilted to the left and his guilt pushed to the side for the time being as Ren’s eyes widened. “Oh Etho, I’m so sorry that’s not-” 

 

Etho ran a finger through it, stopping Ren’s apology in its tracks as he watched. Strange, Etho decided. Strange, but not bad. Etho kind of liked how it looked against him. Ren would probably like it, if he could see his thighs and not just floating cum. Etho flipped around, cringing as he grabbed his marker and whiteboard with the same hands he was just getting off with. Gross. 

 

Its fine. New 

 

The laugh was choked, Ren’s eyes darting to where Etho had smudged some of himself against the surface of the board. They would definitely have to sanitize this afterwards. “I want you to know most jerk sessions do not end with cum on the opposite person.” 

 

Good to know

 

Ren’s eyes were still on Etho’s thighs, or he guessed the cum, an idea forming on his face that Etho didn’t know if he liked or not. “I want to try something, if you’re okay with that.” Etho just stood there, watching as Ren’s penis seemed to try and wake up at whatever idea he was wanting to try. “It’s fine if not, I just thought- you know- if I could see my…cum on you maybe other liquid would-” 

 

Sure 

 

Ren paused as he read Etho’s whiteboard, a lopsided-smile forming on his face as Etho placed the whiteboard back on the bed. He also finally pulled down his boxers, since he figured that whatever idea Ren had would require full nudity from the participants. They joined the pile of his other clothing, the sound of them hitting the floor making Ren glance towards them before looking back where he guessed Etho was. “You could’ve taken those off as well, you know.” 

 

Right, the wet spot. Etho’s cheeks burned as the heat returned in his core, the obvious situation downstairs making itself known again since he kind of left himself hanging. Still, Etho didn’t get a chance to write back defending himself since Ren was making his way to the shower again. 

 

Ah. Well, it was worth a try.

 

Etho didn’t know if it would work or not. Being in this half form he was in wasn’t something common by any means, so it wasn’t like he could ask someone about it. Ren turned on the shower, checking for a comfortable temperature before turning around like he was looking for Etho. “I’m sure you know what I’m doing, but-” 

 

He stepped in, feeling the water hit against his skin and roll off. Maybe this would work. 

 

Glancing at Ren, Etho could tell it had mixed results. 

 

Still, it was better than nothing, since Ren’s face was a mixture of shock and giddy surprise, mouth hanging open like he couldn’t seem to keep it closed. Etho could feel some of the water going through him, but enough was actually hitting him to get an idea of his form. “...you’re real.” Etho huffed as Ren joined him on the other side of the shower, careful to step around him now that he could see where he was standing. “I mean, I know you’re real. I just…” Ren’s voice faded out as Etho’s hair started to plaster to his forehead. “Gorgeous, really.” 

 

Oh. 

 

Etho’s eyes widened as Ren traced his own over his body, suddenly very aware of the situation they were in. Ren could see him. Ren could see a form of him at least. This couldn’t be good for his wings, Etho distantly thought as Ren looked at what he could see of them. This couldn’t be good for his own being in its entirety, but all Etho did was stand still as Ren continued to stare. “Sorry, this has to be really weird for you.” Ren said next, hand reaching out and almost touching where his bicep would be before pulling back. Etho shook his head, watching as the water flung off of him and making Ren tilt his head. “No it’s not weird? It’s a little weird.” 

 

It was a little weird. Etho laughed anyway, feeling the heat of someone watching him so closely close in as Ren’s eyes lit up. “You’re laughing right now, yeah?” God, he sounded so…so excited about all this. Etho nodded, wiping the water out of his eyes as Ren’s smile grew wider. “Oh my god, okay, awesome.” Ren let out his own laugh, rich and loud and overwhelmingly happy as Etho felt the sudden need to- 

 

To what, exactly? 

 

“Oh my god,” Ren was looking at him again, rubbing his hand over his jaw for a moment before gesturing towards the water. “Oh, I’m so stupid it took me so long to think of this. My god, you are gorgeous.” 

 

Etho was aware that Ren complimented people regularly. He was probably just being nice, especially since he could only make out Etho’s form. Still, the repeated compliments, the way his hands seemed to be twitching at his sides like he wanted to reach out and touch him but couldn’t made Etho even more flustered. Ren liked what he could see, and that was- 

 

Etho really wanted to kiss him. 

 

Gods, Etho really wished he could kiss him. He really wished Ren wouldn’t just phase through him if he tried, he really wished he could remain stable enough if it was him to connect their lips. Ren reached out anyway, hands hovering over his arm, the water hitting both of them. “Did you finish earlier?” Ren mumbled, eyes suddenly darker than Etho was used to as he stepped closer. Etho’s wings tucked closer to his back, the question echoing around in his head as Ren’s fingers twitched again. Shaking his head slowly, Etho watched Ren’s face take an almost hungry turn. “Did you want to?” 

 

Did he want to? 

 

Ren’s aura darkened as well, Etho watching it like smoke rising for a moment before realizing Ren was still waiting for his answer as patiently as Etho supposed a mortal man could. This was wrong, Ren was clearly feeling some form of guilt from asking that question but Etho still nodded. 

 

Mutual masterbation? More like mutual self-destruction. 

 

Ren’s face broke into what Etho could only describe as a dirty grin, biting his bottom lip for a moment before Etho glanced away. It was far more intimidating to do this with an audience, that was for sure. But Etho had agreed, and who knew how much Ren actually see of him in the first place. It was only fair, since Etho had watched god knows how many jerk off sessions of Ren’s before all of this happened. 

 

Still, making what would’ve been direct eye-contact was a lot. 

 

It was a lot in a good way though, Etho could confirm that. Reaching his hand lower, Etho let his eyes close as soon as he made contact with himself. It really was different, feeling Ren’s eyes on him as he tilted his head back, letting himself reach further back and by default widened his legs. 

 

There was a low noise from the other side of the shower, Etho blinking open his eyes to see Ren fisting his cock again. Oh god, Etho was going to lose it before he even got a finger inside of himself. To feel wanted, to feel something like this, was so overwhelming and Etho felt like he was shaking apart. Still, Etho pushed a finger deep, cringing at the pressure but enjoying the way it filled him. “...good job, Etho. Look so pretty.” 

 

Eyes rolled back into his head, Etho pushed onward, listening to the low praise seemingly sneaking out of Ren’s mouth that Etho didn’t know if Ren even knew he was saying. He was surprised that he could even fit one inside himself, but Etho guessed he was pretty worked up from before. “You can add another one, I know you can.” 

 

How much could Ren actually see? Etho let out a pathetic whine, widening his stance again and forcing himself to relax. This was actual hell, Etho decided, mostly because he knew Ren’s fingers would feel so much better than his own. Ren’s fingers that were currently wrapped around himself. Etho could help- Etho wanted to help, if only he could actually touch the guy and have him feel it. His second finger slipped in, a choked gasp escaping his throat as he stilled. 

 

“You gotta curl them, Etho.” Swallowing hard, Etho blinked back the water now running in his eyes to aim for the spot Ren was telling him. It took a few tries, but eventually Etho pressed right against where he was looking for, back arching as he forced his fingers deeper. He was so close, so close and all Etho really needed was- 

 

“Good job sweetheart, gorgeous pretty angel.” 

 

With a tiny cry, Etho let himself fall, legs shaking along with his wings as the nicknames seemed to hit him straight in the gut. It felt like a dirty move, even though Etho didn’t know what that meant. Ren spilled over his hand again, the low noise something that would haunt Etho more than the face he just did this with a mortal. 

 

In fact, as Etho pulled his hand away from himself, the guilt was almost all consuming as he sank down to his knees. He just…did that, didn’t he? Him and Ren just…and Etho let him… 

 

Etho had to get out of here. 

 

It was a scramble to get out of the shower, slipped on the water as he heard Ren follow behind him. “Etho! Etho, wait-” 

 

Etho stopped, creating a puddle underneath him as Ren slid into the bedroom. He slowly approached, like Etho was a rabbit and would run as soon as Ren made too sudden of a move. “Are you okay?” 

 

Was he okay? Etho opened his mouth, then closed it. Ren couldn’t hear him. Ren couldn’t see him, not really, and he couldn’t hear him. They were in two different planes of existence and somehow they did that together but- 

 

But Ren couldn’t see him. 

 

But Ren couldn’t touch him, or see him or hear him or anything like that to prove he was real. Every time he proved more of his existence Ren seemed surprised, and it hurt more and more because he wanted more. He wanted Ren to see him, and hear him, and to be able to feel something solid. “No.” Etho whispered, shaking out his hair. Still he reached for the whiteboard as he struggled to stop himself from crying. 

 

Im good!

 

Ren shook his head, his frown deeping as more darkness seemed to swirl around his person. How did this go so wrong? “I don’t believe you.” Ren mumbled, something so incredibly guilty crossing his face as he reached out only to pull back again. 

 

Yeah, Etho wasn’t doing so well. 

 

I need to go back to the office. I’ll be back tomorrow. 

 

The smile was forced, Etho could tell, but it was an attempt. “Okay, be safe?” Etho quickly got changed, writing an agreement before going back to his building. He needed to file reports, or do something he was used to doing, or figure out what to do with this weird in between whether it be going back to angel status or- 

 

Or becoming physical. 

 

Fully physical. 

 

Stumbling through the office, Etho ripped open Cleo’s office door, startling the demon who looked like they were packing up for the day. “Oh, Etho-” Cleo cut themselves off as they took in Etho’s being. “Why are your wings like that? Why is your shirt backwards? Why do you-”

An aggressive smile formed as Etho slumped into the chair in front of their desk. Etho looked up to the smug grin offered, letting out a tired sigh before closing his eyes. 

 

“I need your help.”

Notes:

Good god I didn't mean for this chapter to take so long. Hopefully you all enjoyed and hopefully it doesnt take as long for the next one!

Notes:

Woo! First chapter done! I don't really have a schedule for uploads on a good day, but I think I'll have the next chapter up sooner than later due to how much I personally enjoy writing on the fic. Thanks to that very specific person who deals with all my screaming and snippet sharing, its been a great motivator for all my fics. It's not going to stay sad for long, as this fic is really silly and not that serious in general other than Etho's inner angst.

Hope you liked the first chapter, kudos and comments are always always welcomed, and I'll see you guys in the next chapter!

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