Actions

Work Header

Team Crow or Team Dove?

Summary:

The Phighters are asked on which team they'd pick for the Dove vs Crow Phestival.

Some shenanigans ensue.

Notes:

Tagging on mobile is so hard. Damn.

A thingy that I cooked up during my trip in Thailand over the day.

Supposed to be like a headcanons thingy but then I thought "hey I can make some gnarly character interactions with these".

#teamcrow btw lol

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Sword

 

“Team crow! Sisyphus on top of my mohawk here approves of it”. 

 

He leans in closer. 

 

“Between you and me, I would've chosen Dove but my dad would actually cry if I did.”

 

“WHAT! SWORD. I thought we were gonna be Dove buddies!”

 

“Oh, uh. Oops. Rocket, please!”

 

Rocket

 

Sniffling a bit, “It's fine, Sword. I'll just target you whenever I can. Us Doves know how to be aggressive too!”

 

“Uh oh.”

 

“For me, Doves were the one thing I liked back when I was, y'know… still in Playground.”

 

Sword and Medkit each put a hand on Rocket's shoulder, knowing his history. He perks right back up. Rocket mock brushed off Sword's hand, though.

 

Medkit

 

“I expected more out of my sworn brother. Team Dove. I'll support you, Rocket.”

 

“Heck yea!”

 

“Oh, come on!”

 

“Besides that, Doves are an exquisite symbol of purity and virtue. I find myself relating too much to this bird as of having to find a team to choose.”



Skateboard

 

“Crows are more my speed. They're predators striking any bugs to satiate their appetite!” 

 

Skateboard had a flair for the radical, sometimes.

 

“But I gotta stay loyal to my bird. Doves’re awesome too.”

 

Boombox

 

“Dude, I would've totally unfriended you if you picked Crow right there.”

 

“C'mon! Y'know me.”

 

“Team Dove because I did take care of a dove when I was younger. Released it at the top of our tree house after a while of keeping it.”

 

Vine Staff stepped into the conversation.

 

“What made you release it?”

 

“Nothing personal. Just wanted to let it free and roam the world”

 

“How pragmatic!”

 

Vinestaff

 

“Personally, I had some opinions over this Phestival feeling a little too deliberate. What with it being a Playground dove and a Blackrockian crow, especially given faction history. But I've been persuaded to take a side for myself. Team Dove.”

 

Boombox high-fives Vine Staff.

 

Slingshot

 

“Now I feel like I gotta pick Crow just to balance things out. Crows are smart as Heck. One of em once helped me with aim training. It was so cool!”

 

Sword overhearing this, can't help but confide in Sisyphus.

 

“Wait, is that who you hung out with when you went to Thieves's Den??”

 

Caw.

 

“Heh, that's funny.”

 

Shuriken

 

“Sling and Skateboard had the right idea!”

 

Shuriken smoke-bombed, the whiff of smoke irritating everyone unfortunate to inhale it. He appeared on a perch above.

 

“Denizens of the abyss, from ink of blackest night!”

 

Shuriken inhaled to bellow a mighty caw.

 

Sisyphus perched next to him cawed first.

 

“Aah!”

 

He fell but was fortunate enough to fall into the arms of Katana. 

 

Everyone had to share a laugh at this.

 

Calming down and letting a sheepish Shuriken stand, Skateboard posed a question to Katana.

 

“So, what’d’ya suppose is your side, Katana?”

 

Slingshot, Shuriken, and Vine Staff all had a look of horror.

 

Katana

 

The ones out of the loop were eager to hear the stoic man open up.

 

Katana took a deep breath--

 





Everyone's head was reeling from the information overflow on avians. 

 

At the edge of the conversation, Medkit, Sword, and Rocket quietly slinked away to find soundproof cover.

 

None of them knew what Katana chose by the end of it.




Hyperlaser

 

“If you asked me on pure facts alone, I wouldn't know after listening to Katana talking about birds. They're both interesting by their own rights. If you're asking by my experience, bastards kept extorting me for food after I fed them once. Until I got Princess that is. Now I feed the ones that behave.”

 

A crow perches on Hyperlaser's helmet. A gloved hand strokes it.

 

“Team Crow it is.”

 

Biograft

 

“I AM PROGRAMMED TO CHOOSE TEAM CROW AS IT IS REPRESENTED BY THE PROUD MIDNIGHT CROW. GLORY TO BLACKROCK.”

 

Subspace

 

“I'd pick a side… if any of them bothered to even come close to me!! I, the great Subspace T. Mine, is being beset by birds?!

 

“CREATOR, YOU MUST PICK-”

 

“Yes I know I must pick it!! Stupid higher-ups… Wait no! I forbid you from sending that complaint!!”

 

Banhammer

"Buzz off! I ain't answering that!"

He tries hiding a cage of doves that has a tag from Windforce on it.

"Get outta here before I imprison you for intrusion on privacy! Oh but before that can someone give me Katana's phone number--"

 

Scythe

 

“Hmmm? Crows or Doves? Why, Crows of course, darlin’. The doves are too easy to kill. They make excellent bait for my bounties this time of year, the lil pink things. The crows are a better fit for me. They know my name in the circles they fly around up there.”

 

Scythe switches her laser scythe into a marksman rifle.

 

“Whose to say they aren't speaking yours?”

Notes:

Bonus:

Zuka: crows because he's from Blackrock. He tamed one when he was in the military.

Ghosdeeri: Crows because they're intelligent. She'd get frustrated at both sides trying to eat her pumpkin tho.

Lightblox: Doves. Midnight Crows scare her

Traffic: Crows but he'd just show you that dumb pic of a crow smoking a cigarette

Broker: Doves because pink. He'd tried giving them to Rocket, Zuka, and Scythe as per the customs. Goes about as bad as you think it does.

Voidstar: DO NOT.

just writing about Voidstar I completely forgot about Ban Hammer holy shit. Going back to add him~

Definitely wanted his number for bird tips and not a slight semblance of legalcorruption there, nope.

Thanks for reading this exercise in characterisations.