Chapter Text
Seungcheol stood near the edge of the railing, gazing down at the tranquil Han River below. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh , his breath catching in short, uneven bursts. As tears streamed down his cheeks, he could feel the cold wind chilling his skin, intensifying the raw emotions swirling within him.
The icy gold ring on his finger seemed to mirror the frostiness of his marriage. His trembling right hand hesitated above the ring as if contemplating its removal. Despite his efforts, he could not part with the ring, his hands shaking as he wiped his tear-streaked face.
He turned around with a heavy heart and meticulously retraced his steps towards his sleek, black car, each footfall echoing in the empty street. Sighing, he slipped behind the wheel and drove off into the night.
Arriving at the house, Seungcheol exhaled deeply, feeling the weight of the day. He reached for a handkerchief, gingerly patting his face dry. Taking a moment to compose himself, he studied his reflection in the car's rearview mirror, ensuring that his countenance was formed before he ventured inside.
The cold, lonely house greeted him as he walked through the door, the familiar warmth and coziness now but a distant memory. Seungcheol set down his bag on the kitchen counter and checked the time, realizing that it was still an hour until dinnertime.
He prepared a meal for himself and his husband, rummaging through the refrigerator for meat and vegetables. He settled on making a spicy beef stew, carefully watching as the pot bubbled with the simmering soup.
This particular stew was Wonwoo's absolute favorite. Seungcheol had first learned about it from Wonwoo's brother while they were still dating, and he had gone to great lengths to recreate it for Wonwoo's birthday.
On that special day, Wonwoo had taken a single spoonful of Seungcheol's stew, looked at him with surprise, and then tenderly embraced him, whispering that he loved him.
He turned off the burner and made his way to their shared bedroom, feeling the weight of exhaustion and heartache settling into his bones. The cold bathroom tiles offered little comfort as he stood beneath the relentless cascade of water, tears mingling with the chill, his anguished sobs echoing off the walls.
After what felt like an eternity, Seungcheol emerged from the shower, only to find Wonwoo home from the office. The air was heavy with unspoken tension, the warm embraces and affectionate greetings of the past nowhere to be seen .
With a solemn nod, Wonwoo retreated to his office, likely seeking solace in work. Seungcheol sank into the cushions of the couch, eyes fixed on the characters on the TV screen, but his thoughts were miles away.
The dining table still held the untouched spicy beef stew, a silent testament to the absence of its intended diner. Seungcheol, weary of the solitary chill of his bed, rose from the couch and gazed out at the darkness beyond the window.
His eyes lingered on the closed door of Wonwoo's office before he turned his attention to the house door. With a gentle push, he stepped out into the night, his departure mirroring the retreat from Wonwoo's life, perhaps forever.
Seungcheol strolled along the dimly lit streets , his mind clouded with confusion. The biting, relentless wind swept through the air, causing him to tremble in his thin pajamas. He secretly longed for the cold to engulf him, hoping that it would somehow ease the overwhelming pain in his heart.
He walked aimlessly for what felt like hours until he found himself at a familiar place, the Han River. It was the very spot where he and Wonwoo had first met nine years ago, during their college days.
Their meeting had been nothing short of a love at first sight, and a year after they crossed paths, they had embarked on a romantic journey together. Two years into their relationship, they had exchanged vows, and now, six years into their marriage, their once unbreakable bond seemed to be slowly unraveling.
Seungcheol couldn't hold Wonwoo responsible for the demise of their relationship; he placed the blame squarely on himself. Longing for a child of their own, Seungcheol and Wonwoo underwent countless treatments, but Seungcheol's inability to conceive left him feeling defeated.
Despite the emotional strain, Wonwoo stood by Seungcheol's side, arranging appointments at fertility centers and providing unwavering support during each visit. As time passed, even Wonwoo began to feel the weight of their struggle, his optimism waning.
In moments of despair, Wonwoo stressed that their love didn't hinge on having a biological child, even broaching the subject of adoption. Despite his family's objections, Wonwoo chose to defy their wishes and marry Seungcheol, and together they painstakingly built a life from the ground up, their home and careers the fruits of their shared labor.
Eventually, Wonwoo's parents came around to accepting Seungcheol, but they continued to press for a grandchild to carry on the family legacy. Despite Wonwoo's pleas to ignore their demands, Seungcheol felt compelled to fulfill their wishes, if only to shield Wonwoo from further distress.
Despite all efforts, it seemed like the latest treatment had been successful. But just as he was praying and holding onto hope for the baby to make it, tragedy struck once more.
The next morning , he awoke to the sight of his once-white sheets stained with crimson. At that moment, he knew that the baby had not survived and that he had failed to bring the baby to term.
Seungcheol was overcome with grief - he had maintained a healthy diet, regularly exercised, and managed his weight well. He couldn't comprehend where things had gone wrong.
Wonwoo's senior at the company he was working in had been involved in a serious accident, so Wonwoo was shouldering the burden of extra work at the company. Seungcheol, out of concern for Wonwoo's well-being, chose not to burden him with his own emotions and decided to keep quiet.
Despite knowing that suppressing his emotions could be detrimental to both himself and Wonwoo, Seungcheol felt powerless to change the situation. He couldn't help but feel as though his silence was slowly corroding their relationship and causing harm to both of them.
Seungcheol's love for Wonwoo remained unwavering, and he was acutely aware of Wonwoo reciprocating those feelings. Nevertheless, the intense passion they once shared seemed to have diminished over time.
Seungcheol couldn't shake the feeling that he was holding Wonwoo back, echoing the sentiments of Wonwoo's own father. It felt as if Seungcheol's presence was hindering Wonwoo's bright future.
Seungcheol was haunted by the thought that one day Wonwoo might hold him responsible for hindering his progress in life. The fear of witnessing the adoring gaze in Wonwoo's eyes transform into one filled with animosity tormented Seungcheol.
Seungcheol's mind was conjuring images of the blood-stained bed and his miscarriage. Wonwoo didn't know about the baby because Seungcheol had wanted to wait for a few more days before he could confirm it with the doctor. Seungcheol believed that this time, he would be able to carry the baby to term.
The people around him were gradually reducing as the night went on, yet he sat still on the ground, shivering in the cold. He felt as if he deserved the pain , he deserved to suffer.
Wonwoo was in the middle of a conversation with an overseas client when he suddenly saw his personal phone light up with an incoming call. Glancing at the caller ID, he was surprised to see that it was Joshua, a close friend and colleague of Seungcheol's. It was already 9 PM.
Initially declining the call to focus on his client conversation, his phone continued to ring persistently. Sensing urgency, he politely ended his client call and quickly accepted the incoming call from Jeonghan.
"Hey hyung, I'm in the middle of an important meeting , can I call—" His words were abruptly halted by Jeonghan's frantic voice, "Where's Seungcheol?" Wonwoo's eyebrows furrowed involuntarily at the unusual panic in Jeonghan's voice.
"At home, where he usually is... Why, Hyung? What happened?"
This time, Joshua's distressed voice came through Jeonghan's phone, "Wonwoo, please, give the phone to Cheol. He's not picking up our calls and we're so terrified."
Wonwoo felt a surge of confusion as he instinctively made his way out of his study and into the living room. The television was on, broadcasting a lively variety show, while Seungcheol's phone sat on the nearby table, blinking with incoming calls.
A wave of relief washed over Wonwoo as he reassured the callers, "Don't worry, he's here. His phone is on the couch, but he's probably in the bathroom. Cheollie never goes anywhere without his phone."
The others let out sighs of relief, but Jeonghan added, "He quit his job."
Wonwoo couldn't hide his surprise as he exclaimed, "What? Why?!"
"Manager Kim just informed us," Jeonghan explained, "and we were worried."
Wonwoo meticulously checked every corner of their spacious bedroom, but there was no sign of his husband. With a slight feeling of trepidation, he made his way towards the staircase, leading up to the guest rooms on the second floor. It wasn't uncommon for Seungcheol to utilize the upstairs bathrooms for a quick freshening up.
As Wonwoo ascended the staircase, he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. "He's been feeling a bit low lately... the treatments are taking a toll on him," he murmured to himself. "I've been wanting to have a heart-to-heart with him, but he doesn't seem ready. I'm planning to take him on a trip this weekend to help him relax and take his mind off things," he continued, with a heavy sigh .
Just then, Joshua chimed in , "Cheollie seemed really disoriented at the office as well. He left earlier than usual today, and I heard that he resigned without informing anyone, not even you. Something doesn't seem right. We're on our way to your place. We need to talk to him."
Wonwoo's heart began to race as he frantically searched all the rooms, growing increasingly worried as he found no trace of his husband. "Cheol-ah!" he called out loudly, his voice trembling with fear. He continued to search through the house, calling Seungcheol's name repeatedly, his panic mounting as he did so.
Meanwhile, the concern in Wonwoo's voice had caused Joshua and Jeonghan on the phone line to share his alarm, bombarding him with questions. But Wonwoo was so overwhelmed with fear that he found it difficult to comprehend what they were saying.
"Hyung... Seungcheol ... he's not here..." he managed to stammer out.
As he walked toward the dining table, his eyes landed on a now-cold bowl of spicy beef stew, and suddenly, realization struck him like a bolt of lightning. As the gravity of the situation hit him, he glanced at the entrance table and discovered Seungcheol's car keys, wallet, phone, and outerwear, all left behind. The only thing missing was Seungcheol himself.
"His keys and phone are still here... oh my god, where is he?" Wonwoo uttered in dismay, his voice tinged with despair.
Without a second thought, Wonwoo dashed out of the house, the urgency of his need to find his husband so overpowering that he didn't even stop to grab his jacket.
The three of them embarked on their separate searches from Wonwoo and Seungcheol's house, hoping to find their missing friend. After what felt like an eternity, Wonwoo's phone rang, and it was Jeonghan calling .
"Hyung, please tell me that Cheollie's okay!!!" Wonwoo's voice shook with fear as he spoke.
"We found him, Wonwoo... we're on the way to the hospital right now . He's unconscious," Jeonghan informed him.
As Jeonghan frantically searched through the Han River Park, his heart pounded with fear. Finally, his eyes landed on his best friend, Seungcheol, who lay beneath a tree. Seungcheol appeared unnaturally still, his complexion ashen and lifeless.He immediately contacted Joshua, who was nearby.
Despite Jeonghan and Joshua's best efforts to rouse him, Seungcheol remained unresponsive. With great urgency, Jeonghan rushed Seungcheol to the hospital while Joshua cradled him, attempting to impart some warmth into his cold body. Joshua's vigilance over Seungcheol's weakening pulse betrayed his mounting apprehension.
"Please, please... Cheol, wake up," he whispered as he held his unconscious body, willing him to regain consciousness. Jeonghan pushed the accelerator harder, straining to hear Joshua's pleas for their friend to awaken.
Wonwoo dashed through the streets with all his might, making his way to the hospital where Jeonghan had mentioned they were bringing Seungcheol.
All the while, he fervently prayed for his husband's well-being, despite his lack of belief in a higher power, tears freely flowing down his anguished face.
Please be okay, Seungcheol-ah ...