Archive of Our Own ^beta

Birds chirped early in the morning, followed by gossip being whispered as a certain bickering duo walked down the hallways of their high school like they owned the place. And, they might as well be because everyone moved out of the way as Dazai and Chuuya made their way to their classroom.

“Hey! Hey! Hey ! Do you think they have a soulmate imprint?” one student whispered to another as Chuuya and Dazai walked past them.

“Oh for sure!”

However, another student furrowed their eyebrows and shook their head. “No, no, I don’t think so. They’ve never talked about it before…Don’t you guys think that’s a little suspicious?”

“Oh, come on! Don’t be like that! They obviously want to keep it a secret—that’s all!”

“Do you guys really think Dazai-kun would keep that a secret?” The same student argued back—and they had a point. Dazai would have bragged to everyone who would listen (and to those who wouldn’t) that his short, hotheaded best friend was also his soulmate. Dazai would have done so not only for the sake of his pride but also to make unwanted flies go away.

“Honestly! Why can’t they all shut the fuck up?!” Chuuya grumbled more to himself than to the bandaged boy walking beside him. “They all talk so fucking loud!”

“Oh~?” Dazai teased. “I don’t think that’s what’s really bothering you.”

“Shut the fuck up, shithead!” Chuuya yelled, turning his head away from Dazai. But, it didn’t go unnoticed by the brunette that a soft tint of pink dusted over Chuuya’s angelic freckled face.

Muttering to himself, Dazai uttered: “Beautiful.”

He thanked the gods that Chuuya didn’t hear him because he knew the redhead would tease him about it for the rest of their lives. Although, Dazai was pretty sure that Chuuya would have a similar look if he teased him about it in the future. “And if I don’t want to?”

“You fucking asshole!” A fire ignited in Chuuya’s heart; Dazai was the only person in the entire world who could easily agitate him, but that didn’t mean he didn’t love Dazai. “One day–one fucking day, I am going to fucking kill you, you fucking bastard!”

“Oh really?” Dazai mocked. “Are you going to kill me romantically? If so, I don’t think that would be an awful way to go out!”

“You . . .!”

Despite Chuuya and Dazai’s unconfessed crushes on each other, there was one factor that rendered their love for the other pointless—the words of their souls were not written on each other.

It was common knowledge at their high school that the bickering duo was bound by fate. If one of their peers thought otherwise, they were immediately shut down with examples of memories of Chuuya and Dazai being so madly in love.

Even the duo themselves believed they were soulmates. Sure, they didn’t have a soulmate imprint but that didn’t matter. Dazai understood Chuuya and Chuuya understood Dazai–it was a type of connection that couldn’t be matched. 

Yet, not having a soulmate imprint almost strained their situationship.

Nonetheless, Chuuya and Dazai busted through the door, being rowdy as ever; the once silent classroom was filled with the sounds of their bickering. And as it may be, a certain raven-haired boy sat at his desk, furrowing his eyebrows in dismay.

“Can the two of you be any more loud?” the raven-haired boy spat.

“Absolutely!” Dazai mocked.

A mischievous smile formed at the ends of Dazai’s lips after he spoke. He hoped his words were enticing enough for the unknown boy to bite the bait he had thrown.

“Sorry about him,” Chuuya harshly punched Dazai right in the gut, causing the brunette to groan in pain, but both the unknown boy and Chuuya ignored it. “He normally is this fucking annoying.” Chuuya rolled his eyes as he saw how pathetic and dramatic Dazai was being from his peripheral view. “Anyways, are you new? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around before.”

“I am,” the boy said.

Uninterested, the raven-haired boy looked back down at the book he was reading before the interruption. He had no intention of getting to know his classmates. Yet, the boy felt a strange, warm tingle surging throughout his body.

Chuuya, on the other hand, was not about to let the new student off the hook so easily. Especially since the boy in front of him had a thick accent. He was curious, to say the least.

“What’s your name?” Chuuya called out. “Are you an exchange student?”

The boy was going to ignore the brash redhead but the strange tingle in his body bested him. The boy had a need to tell his two classmates who he was and why he was in Japan for no apparent reason. 

“Fyodor. My name is Fyodor Dostoevsky,” the raven-haired boy said. “I’m an exchange student from Russia . . . My family wanted me to come to Japan to study for a little bit before I head back to my motherland to settle down.”

“ Oh ! That’s cool,” Chuuya smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Dostoevsky. I’m Chuuya and this asshole right here is Dazai.”

A smile crossed Fyodor’s lips as he saw Dazai playfully sticking his tongue out and making an overexaggerated sigh. Fyodor couldn’t explain it, but his heart felt warm and fuzzy. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the brunette either. Fyodor was utterly mesmerized by Dazai—everything about him was exquisite.

Fyodor found himself particularly liking how Dazai’s chocolate locks bounced every time he moved. Dazai’s hair was so fluffy and curly. It was utterly adorable!

The brunette felt the painfully obvious lingering gaze on himself. In no way was he narcissistic but Dazai wanted to torment Fyodor just because he felt like it. “You can take a picture if you want! It will last longer!”

“I’m sorry?” Fyodor said.

“Oh shut the fuck up Dazai!” Chuuya yelled.

“Why? I was trying to be helpful, you know, Slug!” Dazai grinned.

“No one wants your fucking help shithead!”

“Ouch~! So mean,” Dazai dramatically pouted and leaned his entire body over a random desk. “I only wanted to help!”

“Help with what exactly Dazai-kun?” Fyodor asked.

Dazai perked up, “I noticed you staring at my beauty! I won’t always be with you forever so that’s why I said to take a picture!”

For an unknown reason, Fyodor’s heart began clenching with agony. Not being . . . together . . . forever . . . ? Fyodor shut his eyes and rubbed his temples. He just met Dazai only minutes prior yet he wanted to keep the brunette all for himself. Such thinking baffled Fyodor and he didn’t know how to digest it.

“From how you were previously acting, I would have thought you wouldn’t think so highly of yourself,” Fyodor said. “Am I wrong to assume that this annoying . . . act is me–”

“Of course, I think I’m beautiful! How can I not?” Dazai interrupted rather quickly. He got up, did a little spin, and modeled his looks. “I look gorgeous, don’t I?”

In his attempt to promptly divert the conversation, Chuuya acted just as Dazai had hoped. Yet, the issue at hand wasn’t fixed: Fyodor knew nothing about Dazai yet he almost spilled his secret to Chuuya. And, unintentionally at that.

Dazai narrowed his eyes, glaring at Fyodor. He tried to decipher exactly how Fyodor was able to see through his mask because he knew damn well that he hid his true emotions well. 

But, he couldn’t come up with anything. Even Fyodor didn’t understand how he was able to do what he just did.

Either way, Chuuya played right into Dazai’s trap. He was able to get the redhead to get furious at him and Dazai simply acted like his usual playful self. The two started bickering and acting how they normally do; which ultimately made Fyodor ignored. So, he went back to reading his book.

However, Fyodor couldn’t shake the feeling of warmth surrounding his body. He was getting incredibly hot and his left wrist was slightly tingling but he ignored it. Especially because he was not going to take off his precious black leather gloves that were passed down from generation to generation. Even though his gloved hands were getting almost unbearably hot as the seconds ticked by.

Ring.

Ring. 

Ring.

Fyodor didn’t have time to think about the cause of his sudden heat wave as students shuffled into the once empty classroom; the chattering only got louder, drowning out Fyodor’s thoughts.

Class started as per usual but the students in Class 3-A were not so quietly whispering about the foreign exchange student sitting at the front of the last row closest to the window. The seat had been vacant for quite some time so it piqued many students’ interest.

“Alright class!” the teacher walked in. “Let’s begin.”

The chattering went down and the teacher did their job. However, many eyes still lingered on Fyodor all throughout the first half of the school day. It bothered Fyodor to an extent but what he truly wanted was for Dazai’s gaze to be upon him. When this thought kept reappearing in his mind, Fyodor shook his head, trying to get rid of it. He didn’t understand why his brain would keep thinking such things but not knowing the answer was beginning to bother him.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

“Have a good lunch, everyone!” the teacher said before they walked out.

Most of the students shuffled out of the classroom to meet their friends for lunch except for three students: Chuuya, Dazai, and Fyodor. 

Dazai was pestering Chuuya to get a move on because he was hungry but Chuuya stayed put. He didn’t like leaving the foreign exchange student all by himself. It felt wrong.

“Oi Dostoevsky!” Chuuya called out. Fyodor turned his head toward Chuuya and Dazai. Dazai glared at Fyodor, not that he minded though. Fyodor found himself liking the way Dazai’s glare made him feel. “Do you want to eat lunch with us?”

“Woah! Wait a minute there, Hatrack,” Dazai interrupted. 

Chuuya punched Dazai to shut him up—it worked. Dazai didn’t have a choice in the matter. Chuuya had made up his mind earlier in the morning to invite the foreign exchange student to lunch because he knew how it felt to be left all alone. He didn’t want Fyodor to feel like that when he could prevent it.

“Sure,” Fyodor said. “Thank you for the offer.”

“Mmmh! Of course!” Chuuya smiled.

Dazai grumbled to himself. He didn’t like how an intruder was barging in on his alone time with Chuuya. It especially bothered him just how easily Chuuya invited Fyodor to join them too—and Chuuya didn’t even bother asking him first either! It wouldn’t have been much of a problem if it would only be one time but Dazai knew Chuuya. The redhead was going to continuously invite Fyodor to hang out with them and that is what ticked Dazai off. Even more so because Dazai was going to shit talk about the new foreign exchange student during lunch. Now he couldn’t do that!

Nonetheless, the trio headed to the cafeteria to grab lunch before heading to Dazai and Chuuya’s favorite lunch spot. Honestly, the whole lunch felt like an act because Fyodor and Dazai were secretly taking jabs at each other every chance they got.

Fyodor was particularly having fun because no one has ever been able to match him in intellect but Dazai, he was getting worked up. He didn’t like how Fyodor could easily match his intelligence but what pissed him off more was the fact that the Russian genuinely seemed happy. It was almost like Dazai could see every time Fyodor began falling in love with him–it made Dazai’s stomach turn.

Either way, Fyodor didn’t stop taking in Dazai’s beauty. He was memorizing every move the brunette was making too. It fascinated him how Dazai wore such a painfully obvious mask day in and day out; and, how he acted so playfully. Fyodor wanted to dissect Dazai and get to know him better.

As for Chuuya, he was just happy to have Dazai actually be nice to the newcomer. Dazai was notorious for scaring off any new friends so it had always been just the two of them. It was certainly a nice change of pace. And, he had hoped that the two would get along because he was going to keep inviting Fyodor to hang out. Sure, it was nice to hang out with Dazai alone but sometimes the brunette could be too much. He desperately needed a mediator, or rather a scapegoat, to pass off all the teasing and fighting he had to endure every day.

Nonetheless, Fyodor had a good first day at his new school. His heart was overflowing with so much joy and he was oddly giddy when he arrived home. Honestly, he only really remembered talking to Dazai because he desperately wanted to get to know the brunette more—Dazai truly was taking up Fyodor’s entire mind. Besides, Fyodor couldn’t bring himself to care enough about Chuuya, even though he was nice to him. Chuuya was merely a chess piece he could move to get closer to his new friend .

Fyodor walked up the stairs in his home so he could go straight to his bedroom. He plopped himself on his bed, stretching a little too. He was terribly exhausted from his long day and he wanted to think about Dazai some more. Especially about his smile. Fyodor wanted to see the ends of Dazai’s plump lips turn up into a genuine smile—and he wanted to be the one to do it too.

Fyodor had every intention to slip off his leather gloves, place them on his nightstand, and doze off while thinking of Dazai but his attention was caught by inky black words running across his left wrist.

“What in the world?” Fyodor mumbled to himself. “When did this get there?!”

Fyodor ran his thumb over the imprint—it tingled as a result. His body began rising in temperature and his heart was racing. The words No Longer Human were written. 

Most people say that you’ll know who your soulmate is the minute you get your imprint but Fyodor didn’t know at all. He clearly remembers getting all hot when he first met Dazai and Chuuya but there was no clear indication from either of them that they also gained a soulmate imprint.

“Who could it be?” Fyodor pondered to himself. It could be either of them. He did meet Chuuya and Dazai at the same time after all. “If I had to guess . . . it’s probably Dazai, right?” 

His heart clenched and at that moment he knew: it was Dazai who was his soulmate.

Fyodor chuckled to himself. “I see. So that’s why I can’t stop thinking about him.”

He began smiling like a maniac and he tenderly rubbed his thumb over his soulmate imprint. Fyodor found himself thanking God for allowing him to meet his soulmate on his very first day at his new school.

But then, a small frown formed. He didn’t get Dazai’s number, nor his pawn’s number either. Fyodor didn’t like it but he would have to wait for the morrow to talk to his soulmate again. Nonetheless, Fyodor’s smile returned because Dazai should have seen the soulmate imprint by now, despite wearing all those bandages—and now, more than ever, Fyodor wanted to know what laid beneath all of the bandages that covered his soulmate’s lithe body.

“Good morning, Dostoevsky!” Chuuya called out once he entered the classroom.

Dazai trailed behind Chuuya, not even sparing Fyodor a glance.

“Good morning, Chuuya, you too, Dazai ,” Fyodor said. He had hoped that his words would make the brunette look toward him but he only got a simple nod–nothing more and nothing less. “By the way, you two can call me Fyodor.”

“Okay!” Chuuya smiled then turned to yell at Dazai who was poking him.

Fyodor feverishly glanced at Dazai who was not paying any attention to him. He wished Dazai would give him the time of day but the brunette acted like Fyodor was chopped liver.

He seemed far more interested in clinging to Chuuya—this unsettling feeling made Fyodor frown. Dazai shouldn’t cling to anyone but me! He’s mine!

Before Fyodor could take any action, Dazai messily kissed Chuuya. Blush had overtaken Chuuya’s freckled face as he timidly grumbled to himself as he swiftly made his way to his desk. Dazai followed him, sitting in the seat in front and leaning his upper body on Chuuya’s desk.

Shocked, Fyodor turned his attention to his book. He stayed on the same page for minutes on end because he couldn’t believe his eyes.

Fear had wiggled its way into Fyodor’s brain—he began recalculating the whole situation. It just didn’t make sense that his soulmate would kiss another. Unless . . . Dazai wasn’t his soulmate but even thinking such thoughts sounded odd to Fyodor.

Dazai was his, there was no mistake about it! But even so, Fyodor couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Dazai had kissed Chuuya.

He had already dreamt of a future with Dazai–from the type of house they would have to how it would feel cuddling in bed. He had thought about everything and it pained him that Dazai didn’t do the same. Instead, Dazai ran to some pipsqueak! So, of course, Fyodor was furious but he didn’t show it. He knew deep down that he shouldn’t make such brash actions because losing Dazai would practically mean that the end of the world was upon him.

The whole situation irked Fyodor the entire morning. He didn’t even realize that lunch was in session until Chuuya had said:

“Hey, Fyodor! Do you want to eat lunch with us again?”

“Sure,” Fyodor said, a little less enthusiastic than he did the day before but, nonetheless, he accepted. Honestly, he would have preferred not to see Dazai so happy with Chuuya. Fyodor was a few paces behind the bickering duo and so he had to watch all of their love right in front of his eyes. But, the mere thought of not being around Dazai left a disgusting taste in his mouth.

Eventually, though, they made it to the same spot where they ate lunch the day before. Fyodor watched with annoyance how touchy Dazai was being to Chuuya. And, before he could even stop himself, Fyodor asked: “Are you two dating?”

Chuuya's face turned bright red like a tomato. He turned his head to the side while Dazai only giggled at the action. “What made you think we are?”

Fyodor couldn’t help but narrow his eyes. Does Dazai think I’m stupid? No! He’s messing with me. This нахальный брат! Fyodor tsked and shook his head. “It’s just a question to satisfy my curiosity, Nothing more.”

“Oh.” Chuuya averted his eyes. 

To Fyodor, it looked like he was avoiding his question entirely but Dazai, on the other hand, put his hands on either side of Chuuya’s waist, bringing the redhead in close. Fyodor watched in disgust but he said nothing of it.

“We sure are!” Dazai smiled.

Fyodor felt his heart drop instantly and his vision going red. He tried his best to level his shallow breathing but it was pretty obvious that he was furious. Of course, he would be! He didn’t like seeing Dazai kiss Chuuya so casually, let alone them being together! In fact, he wanted to kill Chuuya right then and there for touching what belonged to him.

“For how long?” Fyodor inquired even with his heart shattering into a million pieces in the process. Despite that, he had to know what exactly was going on so he could understand why his dear soulmate wanted to date someone other than him.

“Since . . . since yesterday,” Chuuya said. “But-but! We have been, you know, crushing on each other for a while now . . .”

“Oh, I see,” Fyodor said through gritted teeth. “Well, congratulations then.”

“Thank you!” Dazai giggled and tightly hugged Chuuya. He peeked a glance at Fyodor and he smiled as a result. Seeing Fyodor so disheveled made his heart feel light.

As for Fyodor, he mopped the entire day. It hurt so much to see Dazai smiling so happily toward Chuuya, even if it was a fake smile—Fyodor could easily tell that Dazai wore a specific facade toward Chuuya. It was so obvious to him but not to the redhead. It was so obvious that only he truly understood Dazai and that Chuuya could never do the same.

Which is why, once Fyodor got home, he immediately walked right to his bedroom so he could release his bottled-up emotions but he stopped prematurely. He saw his reflection and couldn’t help but see a clear void within himself. He turned his entire body towards his mirror, staring at his reflection in hopes of figuring out how to solve the current situation he was in:

“Slug! Let’s get ice cream!”

“Fine, fine!” Chuuya grumbled. “Wait- let’s invite Fy-”

“Come on Hatrack! I’m craving mint chocolate chip ice cream!” Dazai said, grabbing ahold of Chuuya’s hand, and pulling him in the direction of the ice cream parlor.

“It’s so obvious that Dazai is faking his happiness around Chuuya!” Fyodor mumbled to himself. “So why doesn’t he want to hang out with me?”

Fyodor shook his head before he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the scene he had witnessed earlier that day. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. So, he brought his hand to his face, covering his right eye. Instead of allowing his imagination to run wild when his eyes were closed, he opened them, peering through his fingers.

“I think I go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be . I–I don’t think I have ever felt satisfied before…no that’s not correct. I felt content–I felt satisfied yesterday evening knowing that you were mine,” Fyodor said. “ And satisfaction feels like a distant memory .”

Then, Fyodor felt a wicked smile form on his lips and he felt the beginning of laughter erupt from the pit of his belly. It didn’t make sense to him at all. He was smiling and laughing but his heart ached and all he wanted to do was destroy everything that got in his way. It didn’t make sense at all but he supposed that is why people say that love makes you blind.

Not long after his laughing fit, tears had formed at the ends of Fyodor’s amethyst eyes and he began bawling his eyes out. For once in his life, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to make Dazai his again. So, he jumped right into his bed and buried his head in his pillow. He cried the whole night, not getting a single piece of homework done but he was thinking of ways he could destroy Chuuya and make Dazai love him. 

Despite Fyodor being extremely vulnerable (and pathetic) the day before, everything went smoothly from then on. Chuuya had invited him to hang out every day and not long after, the three of them became the best of best friends. Or rather, that is what Chuuya believed. 

Dazai didn’t like Fyodor joining them and that didn’t change at all during their time together. He always made jabs at Fyodor and even more so when the Russian began going everywhere with him and Chuuya. If he told Chuuya his true thoughts about Fyodor, the redhead would probably get upset because he seemed to quite like Fyodor so Dazai never said anything.

Although, Dazai did his best not to be alone with Fyodor. That was true even during the summer when the trio began hanging out. And honestly, Dazai would rather not go to Fyodor’s house but here he was, ringing the doorbell to Fyodor’s home.

Not even a second had passed when the door swung open.

“Welcome,” Fyodor smiled as soon as he saw Dazai standing gorgeously in front of him; he stepped aside for the brunette to come in. “I’m rather surprised that you came alone. Do you know how late Chuuya is going to be?”

Dazai waltzed inside like he owned the place, not that Fyodor minded.

“Hmmm don’t know. Slug said he was going to meet with one of his older friends first because he needed help with something,” Dazai said.

“Ah, I see. That’s quite unfortunate, isn’t it?” Fyodor said.

“Yeah, it is,” Dazai said. He plopped down on the living room couch and took out his phone. He had no intention of holding a conversation with Fyodor unless Chuuya was around.

Fyodor stood a little awkwardly beside the couch. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Do you have soda?” Dazai didn’t even look up from his endless scrolling which made Fyodor frown but he said nothing of it.

“I think I have some Sprite,” Fyodor said, knowing fully well that Sprite was Dazai’s favorite soda. “Do you want that?”

“Yes, thanks Fedya,” Dazai said.

Fyodor’s heart skipped beats after he heard the nickname Dazai called him by. During the beginning of their friendship, Dazai had insisted on giving Fyodor a nickname. Of course, Fyodor detested the idea but Dazai gave him one anyway. And now, Fyodor couldn’t live without Dazai calling him “Fedya.”

The brunette had hoped the nickname would make Fyodor upset or angry like his nicknames with Chuuya but it only did the opposite. Fyodor loved being called “Fedya” from Dazai and he revolted at being called that by Chuuya.

Even so, Fyodor had gone through literal hell being friends with both Dazai and Chuuya. He had to suffer watching them cuddle and act all lovey-dovey—he hated every second of it but he couldn’t bear to be away from Dazai. The mere thought of Dazai not being in his life was torture. It almost made him see red so he didn’t really like to think about it.

But now, he could finally begin his plan to make Dazai his again.

Fyodor was in the kitchen, pouring two glasses of Sprite. He didn’t hesitate to spike Dazai’s drink either. He made sure that Chuuya would not come to their hangout that day. He didn’t want Chuuya to stomp on the sprout of Dazai’s love for him. So, Chuuya was facing problem after problem after problem. It would be well way into the night before Chuuya would be free.

Once he was done, Fyodor made his way back into the living room. “Here you are.” Fyodor handed Dazai his drink.

“Thank you,” Dazai said. He didn’t even bother looking up from his phone. Fyodor felt a tad bit annoyed because his soulmate was once again ignoring him. It got a little better when Chuuya announced the three of them as friends but it was clear as day that Dazai avoided being alone with Fyodor.

Honestly, Dazai wouldn’t have even come to Fyodor’s house without Chuuya present because he didn’t like the way Fyodor’s gaze would linger on him. It was almost like a dragon wanting to hoard his treasure from the world. But, Chuuya had told him he would only be about ten minutes late so he decided to ignore Fyodor until Chuuya arrived.

“Is there anything in particular you want to do or should I turn on the TV while we wait for Chuuya?” Fyodor asked.

“Turn the TV on.”

An awkward silence filled the air and Fyodor began tapping his fingers restlessly—Dazai had yet to touch his drink. But, he kept his gaze on the TV and only stole glances at his soulmate from his peripheral view. As for Dazai, he stayed glued to his phone.

Ten minutes had passed and Dazai grumbled to himself. Chuuya was late and he didn’t know how much longer he could stand being alone with Fyodor.

Sighing, Dazai picked up his drink and took a sip. The colorless and odorless drug inside of his soda also made the drinker feel addicted to it. So, without realizing it, Dazai sipped his drink until it was all gone. He licked his lips after he was finished.

Now, all that was left was to wait.

Time ticked by slower than what Fyodor would have liked; each passing second felt like an eternity. Still, he silently observed Dazai as the latter was becoming increasingly fidgety. 

The drug Fyodor had given Dazai was created in the underworld to help soulmates get along. Sometimes, although it was rare, soulmates didn’t like each other. This was typically between the sane and the insanity but the nameless drug was meant for them. And now, Fyodor was using it.

It was only a couple minutes after Dazai finished his soda that he finally shut off his phone and was now paying attention to the random Hallmark movie that Fyodor put on. He began messing with his bandages as well as bouncing his legs. Of course, he found it strange but he didn’t question it because he figured the cause was Chuuya’s lateness.

Still, Fyodor noticed the drug was finally in effect. “Is everything alright, Osamu ?” 

Dazai spun his head around to face Fyodor, his eyes full of shock. Of course, he was shocked by Fyodor using his first name but he was more shocked because he liked the way Fyodor said it. Fyodor’s accent made his first name sound special and he hated that he liked it. But what was even more revolting than anything was the way his heart ached to be within Fyodor’s embrace. Dazai didn’t understand his sudden outburst of emotions but he had to satisfy them because if he didn’t, Dazai felt like he was going to be torn apart!

Everything that Dazai was suppressing was coming back to him at full force and before he realized it, Dazai jumped straight into Fyodor’s lap, clinging on for dear life. 

The warmth that Dazai radiated gave Fyodor an unexplainable high. Fyodor desperately wrapped his arms around Dazai and allowed the brunette to snuggle his nose into the crook of his neck. Eventually, Fyodor began rubbing circles on both sides of Dazai’s waist as the two silently yet comfortably cuddled. Neither wanted to break apart because everything felt at peace—Fyodor, and Dazai, felt complete.

“Osamu?” Fyodor softly said. He smiled because he loved the way Dazai’s first name felt on his tongue; it was so addictive to say! Besides, it felt way too natural for him to utter. “Osamu, can I see your left wrist?”

Dazai softly hummed as he reluctantly sat up in Fyodor’s embrace. He showed Fyodor his left wrist, allowing the Russian to undo his bandages.

Fyodor slowly and carefully unwrapped Dazai’s bandages so that his wrist was free. Fyodor had no idea what would lay beneath all those bandages that Dazai liked to wear but what he didn’t expect was perfect smooth skin with only a few deep cuts of “imperfections.”

Still, Fyodor smiled as he saw the words Crime and Punishment in inky black letters running across Dazai’s left wrist; he gently rubbed the imprint causing Dazai to shiver.

“So beautiful,” Fyodor whispered, looking up to meet eye-to-eye with Dazai. “You’re so beautiful, милый.”

He brought his hands to cup Dazai’s cute round face, bringing him close to kiss those pretty pink lips that the brunette had. Their lips met with a burning passion filled full of love. And, Dazai’s hands found their way around Fyodor’s neck as he desperately tried to be as close as he could to his soulmate.

Eventually, they had to pull away to breathe but Dazai immediately went back for more. His entire body felt like he was on fire and he wanted to get burned some more.

The feeling of their lips upon each other was engraved in both Fyodor and Dazai’s memories. Every single touch, every single feeling enforced the idea that if Dazai had Fyodor by his side, he would feel satisfied for the rest of his life.

It was apparent to Dazai that Fyodor was not simply his soulmate but his twin flame—they completed each other. That was a fact that not even Dazai could deny.

He finally felt at peace knowing that someone could understand him for all that he was. And, without having to utter a word. Every little thought and every little feeling was sensed by the other. Fyodor and Dazai couldn’t hide their true feelings from each other but that was okay because they were meant for each other.

Soft little mewls left Dazai’s lips as Fyodor began nipping at Dazai’s bottom lip, asking for an entrance to which the latter complied. Fyodor didn’t waste time exploring Dazai’s mouth—he had a beast-like urge to devour Dazai and Dazai was a prey that wouldn’t resist.

Eventually, Fyodor’s hands sneaked their way to Dazai’s ass, groping it to his heart’s content. He even guided Dazai to grind on him. The brunette couldn’t contain the soft moans slipping past his lips that sent vibrations to Fyodor.

“Милый,” Fyodor moaned.

A huge bulge was visible in Fyodor’s pants and Dazai didn’t hesitate to grind harder on Fyodor. His own cock was twitching in his pants and he had a dire need to have Fyodor inside of him. So, he hastily unbuckled Fyodor’s pants.

Dazai trailed his kisses along Fyodor’s neck before sliding down so he was kneeling before Fyodor. The Russian moved a little closer to the edge for Dazai, which the brunette gladly took as a sign to kiss Fyodor’s clothed cock.

However, Dazai was too impatient so he quickly freed Fyodor’s cock from his boxers. A quiet moan slipped past his lips at the sheer size.

At first, Dazai kitten licked Fyodor’s cock but then he slipped the tip inside of his mouth because he was so eager to pleasure Fyodor.

“Mmm~ So good, Osamu,” Fyodor leaned his head back, closing his eyes as he let pleasure fill his entire body. “Милый, you’re doing so good .”

Dazai tried his best to take all of Fyodor’s cock inside of his mouth but the thing was too large for him. So, Fyodor helped him out a little.

His hands gently grabbed ahold of the back of Dazai’s head and pushed him down. Tears formed at the ends of Dazai’s cute doe eyes as he gagged on Fyodor’s cock. But, he couldn’t help but feel satisfied with the praises slipping past Fyodor’s lips.

And, without warning, Fyodor saw stars and Dazai dutifully swallowed all of Fyodor’s cum. He lingered on Fyodor’s cock so he could cockwarm his soulmate until he came down from his high.

Fyodor gently pushed Dazai off, rubbing the brunette’s bottom lip. “Such a good boy.”

A blush formed on Dazai’s cheeks but he didn’t think about it for too long because his own cock was painfully aching. His pants were wet with precum too and Fyodor noticed it.

Fyodor shoved his cock back in his boxers and grabbed ahold of Dazai’s hands. “Come now, let’s go to my bed. It will be much more comfortable there.”

Dazai lazily nodded. He followed Fyodor without a thought, and he stayed close by. The mere thought of not being near his soulmate made Dazai shiver.

Nonetheless, Fyodor guided Dazai to the edge of his bed. He kissed all over Dazai’s body as he began undressing the brunette. He claimed every spot he could and he was rewarded by soft little mewls that Dazai made.

“Take off,” Dazai pulled at Fyodor’s shirt. Fyodor was annoyingly still clothed and Dazai wanted that changed. Thankfully, Fyodor complied.

Once the both of them were undressed, the two ended up dead center of Fyodor’s bed. Fyodor was on top of Dazai, spreading the brunette’s legs so he could get a better position.

It didn’t occur to Fyodor to buy lube or condoms before Dazai had arrived so he used what he had on hand: Dazai’s precum.

The mere action made his own cock twitch in his hands. Then, Fyodor pumped his cock so he was fully hard. He knew it was going to be painful if he didn’t stretch Dazai first but from the connection he had with him, Dazai didn’t want to be. The brunette wanted to feel the burn of Fyodor’s cock entering him and Fyodor was not going to deny him that.

So, he aligned himself with Dazai’s entrance.

Fyodor chuckled at the needy thoughts entering his brain from Dazai’s side of the connection. “ Shhh , I’ll fill you up soon, милый.”

Dazai only nodded as he waited in anticipation. 

Fyodor pushed his tip inside and tears fell down Dazai’s cheeks at the incredibly wide stretch. Dazai screamed in both agony and ecstasy as Fyodor slowly sheathed his entire length inside of him. 

“Fyodor~!” Dazai lustfully screamed right before he saw stars.

“Oh dear,” Fyodor teased. “Cumming already?”

“ Mmh ~”

Fyodor licked his lips as a clear bulge appeared on Dazai’s belly. He teasingly pressed on it and he was generously rewarded with moans of pleasure.

“Does that feel good, милый?” Fyodor breathily groaned. He began to pull out so he could thrust himself back in. He set a pace that was too fast for Dazai so the only thing he could do was nod his head. The room began spinning but that didn’t matter because he was on a high like no other. “Hmm? What was that? You want me to stop?”

Dazai opened his mouth over and over again, trying to let the words Fyodor wanted to hear out but Fyodor took away his ability to think, let alone speak. He had difficulty but he did manage to mumble: “N-no! Ahh~ Please~! N-need–need it!”

A smirk crossed Fyodor’s lips. He was getting a high just from the way Dazai’s face scrunched up in pleasure. He could feel himself getting close too, especially with every beg enticing him to a state of ecstasy no non-soulmates could ever feel.

Greed overtook Fyodor’s mind and a short laugh left his lips. “Of course, милый. I’ll gladly give you what you desire most . . . and only I can .”

Fyodor’s onslaught of thrusts made Dazai’s eyes roll to the back of his head. Every thrust felt like it was getting deeper and deeper; and to his fortunate pleasure, Fyodor eventually found Dazai’s sweet spot to abuse.

Dazai’s beautiful moans led Fyodor to pick up his pace in hopes of hearing more of the beautiful music entering his ears.

“Fyodor~!” Dazai screamed as released for the second time that night yet Fyodor hadn’t. So, he continued to thrust into Dazai in the same manner until he could reach his own high.

But, Fyodor’s greediness got the best of him: every moan, every scream gave Fyodor an absurd amount of pride. It was Fyodor who was making Dazai moan and scream out, no one else. Dazai belonged to him and him alone. Fyodor’s possessiveness grew more and more to the point of him creating new love bites across Dazai’s once silky white skin.

Truthfully, the main thing that Dazai felt was pleasure flowing through his veins. Of course, he felt the deep passionate love Fyodor had for him but the pleasure he was given outshined it. Especially because Fyodor didn’t hesitate to continuously abuse his prostate until he saw stars once again.

“Oh dear~” Fyodor chuckled, “Cumming again?”

Fyodor pulled back to harshly slam right back in so he could paint Dazai’s insides white. He lazily grinded against Dazai until he came from his high.

“ Милый , you feel so good ,” Fyodor praised.

Dazai was squeezing him so deliciously tight that Fyodor got hard minutes after he had cummed. Not that Dazai minded. He desperately needed to be filled to the brim, but he was beginning to feel overstimulated. Yet, he didn’t bother saying anything.

Fyodor pulled out, much to Dazai’s dismay, and flipped Dazai over so his ass was facing upward. Then, Fyodor entered Dazai again.

The brunette was still so tight despite Fyodor’s previous thrusts.

Still, Fyodor continued to thrust inside of Dazai. This new position hit deeper inside of Dazai which made him cum again. It was painfully evident that Dazai was overstimulated but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Fyodor this. Instead, he continued to take what Fyodor gave and moaned out in pleasure. His legs were shaking with ecstasy and his rim was all puffy too. 

Honestly, Fyodor found it utterly adorable.

Dazai really didn’t know how much longer he could take the onslaught of thrusts but thankfully, it didn’t take too long for Fyodor to cum again. Dazai felt deliciously full but exhausted. And, Fyodor was too.

So, Fyodor rearranged their positions so they were on their side but he was behind Dazai. Even though Dazai’s brain was mushed to goop, Fyodor could feel that Dazai wanted to cockwarm him. And, Fyodor wasn’t in any position to deny his soulmate of that.

Dazai laid helplessly with Fyodor’s hands tightly wrapped around him. Fyodor kissed Dazai’s shoulder before he brought his lips to Dazai’s ear. “I love you so much, Osamu.”

“I love you too,” Dazai whispered. His voice was nearly gone and he couldn’t cry anymore even if he wanted to.

Fyodor smiled. “Good night, милый. Sleep well.”

Then, Dazai drifted off to sleep. Fyodor did too but much later because he was too busy enjoying Dazai in his arms.

The morning rays of sunshine gently hugged Fyodor and Dazai in their sleep. It was late in the morning, almost noon actually. Fyodor had woken up early in the morning but he didn’t move an inch because he was comfortable cuddling with the brunette.

Dazai, on the other hand, was still sound asleep. He was never a morning person and Fyodor knew this which is just another reason why he didn’t wake up his sleeping beauty.

Nonetheless, Fyodor brought Dazai impossibly closer, wanting to feel more of the warmth the other was radiating. Fyodor enjoyed every second of Dazai being asleep; he thought it was peaceful being able to cuddle Dazai so intimately while he daydreamed about what the future could look like.

In truth, Fyodor was excited. He couldn’t wait to be able to call Dazai his. Fyodor had made a fantasy for himself, believing he would be able to kiss Dazai whenever he wanted and to be able to freely love his soulmate. He wanted to receive the same affection he had the previous night in the future now that it was established that the two were soulmates. And, everything was finally falling into place.

Unconsciously, Fyodor began playing with Dazai’s curly brown locks. The sensation was relaxing and soothing to Dazai as he began softly humming. It wasn’t long before his eyes fluttered open. 

“Good morning, милый,” Fyodor huskily said. “How are you feeling?”

It took Dazai a minute to realize that he was not in fact laying beside Chuuya and the voice he just heard was not the redhead either. Jolting up, Dazai realized that Fyodor was inside of him. So, he pulled Fyodor out which was a mistake on Dazai’s part. 

A blush formed on his cheeks as he felt Fyodor’s cum slip out of him—a small little whimper slipping past his lips too. He didn’t even realize the sound he had made nor how he was desperately clenching around nothing in a futile attempt to keep all of Fyodor’s semen inside.

Yet, Fyodor smiled at Dazai’s cuteness and a sense of pride engulfed him too.

He brought both of his hands to cup Dazai’s face with the full intention of soothingly rubbing his fingers over Dazai’s adorable cheeks. But, Dazai swatted Fyodor’s hands away.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Dazai said, panic slowly setting in. “What the hell?! We–we didn’t, right? Yes . . . we didn’t b-but! No! We couldn’t have! No! B–but...!”

Fyodor narrowed his eyes. A small bubble of annoyance entered him but he quickly popped it. He wasn’t exactly sure if the drug he gave his soulmate also erased memory—the directions never said anything about it.

“Do you not remember what happened, Osamu?” Fyodor asked.

“No! No, I don’t!” Dazai said. “Where is Chuuya?”

“No clue but that shouldn’t matter, Osamu,” Fyodor said. “You don’t need him, you never have, since I shall always be by your side from now on.”

“Are you insane?! We,” Dazai motioned with one of his hands in a shape that closely resembled to a ‘k’ in sign language to indicate that he was indeed talking about the two of them, “are not together! I don’t know what happened last night but it means nothing! Okay?”

Fyodor took a deep breath. “милый. We are soulmates. You don’t need anyone other than me.”

“We are not soulmates, Fyodor!” Dazai shrieked. “I don’t know what led you to that conclusion but it’s not right!”

Without warning, Fyodor grabbed Dazai’s left wrist with his left hand. He showed the brunette their soulmate imprints. Dazai stared at the words written on Fyodor’s wrist: No Longer Human . The phrase captivated him—he knew those words belonged to him.

Dazai stared at the words for a good minute before the words began lifting off of Fyodor’s wrist, heading straight for Dazai’s heart. Images of last night entered his brain, showing him what happened and how happy he was to be in his soulmate’s arms.

Then, everything turned black.

Where am I? Dazai looked at his surroundings. Everything was so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. This unknown place was a bedroom and he was covered with a warm and fuzzy blanket. He pushed the blankets off and his eyes immediately caught sight of his thighs because they were covered in love bites. Did Chuuya do that? Dazai really hoped it was Chuuya but an unsettling feeling in his gut told him that might not be the case.

Dazai scooted to the edge of the bed. He felt a slight intrusion in his hole and his belly was vaguely in pain. But, what caught his attention more was the clothes he was wearing: a long black hoodie and some underwear that felt unfamiliar. Dazai grimaced at the hoodie he was wearing because he knew exactly whose it was and it wasn’t Chuuya’s hoodie. 

He didn’t have much time to ponder how he got into the situation he was in because the white door to the bedroom opened, revealing a pair of deep amethyst eyes looking at him so lovingly.

“милый, you’re finally awake,” Fyodor said. “How did you sleep?”

“So good ,” Dazai’s mouth moved on its own and so did his hands—they moved to lift the hoodie to reveal his belly that was bulging with cum inside. He began rubbing his belly, humming in satisfaction. “I feel so full .”

Fyodor chuckled, stalking closer to Dazai, and he too, placed his hands on Dazai’s stomach. “I’m glad you slept well, Osamu.”

It was then that Dazai noticed a golden ring on Fyodor’s left ring finger. A wedding ring…? A golden light shined almost as bright as the sun from his own hand—that was when he realized he wore a similar ring but his had a massive diamond on it. The diamond emitted such a bright light that it was severely blinding him, yet, it didn’t affect Fyodor at all. No. No. No! It can’t be! It fucking can’t! No–

Dazai’s panic session was interrupted because Fyodor placed his lips on his neck, kissing him tenderly. Fyodor hummed in satisfaction when Dazai brought his hands around his neck, hugging Fyodor so dearly.

“Shall we order breakfast, милый?” Fyodor mumbled into Dazai’s neck.

“ Mmm yes, please. I’m so hungry right now,” Dazai said.

Fyodor chuckled; he snaked his arms around Dazai and pulled him into a tight hug. “What do you want to eat? Pancakes? Crepes? Waffles?”

“Crepes! From that one place near Lupin.” Dazai smiled right before he brought his lips to Fyodor’s, kissing him tenderly.

“Okay, okay,” Fyodor mumbled on Dazai’s lips. He reluctantly let go of Dazai, immediately missing the warmth that the brunette was radiating.“Go wash up while I put in our order.”

Dazai nodded his head. He got up and walked toward what was supposedly their bathroom.

“…amu! Os…! Osamu!” Fyodor panickedly said. “Osamu! Are you okay?!”

Dazai’s chest expanded and deflated rapidly, his breathing short and shallow. 

“I—I,” Dazai said but he was at a loss for words. What he saw weren’t his memories and yet he couldn’t help but feel like they were his own.

“Osamu, breath. Take a deep breath, милый,” Fyodor said, trying to calm his soulmate down. Fyodor wrapped his arms around Dazai, rubbing his hands on the other’s back. “Everything is going to be alright. Everything will be alright. I’ll take good care of you, okay?”

It took a good few minutes for Dazai to relax but once he was, his breathing was finally even. Fyodor had successfully calmed his soulmate down but he still hugged Dazai for dear life mainly because seeing Dazai in such a pale state frightened him.

“Let me go,” Dazai harshly said, pushing Fyodor away.

“милый, please calm down,” Fyodor said, putting his arms on Dazai’s waist to bring him back in.

“No! I need you to leave me alone!” Dazai said. He struggled and struggled to free himself from Fyodor but to no avail, Fyodor kept him close. His energy was nearly depleted and it hadn’t returned even after he had slept. 

Sighing, Fyodor let go. “Let’s get washed up. Then we can talk about everything that happened, okay?”

“There is nothing to talk about, Fyodor. We are not soulmates. End of story,” Dazai argued.

“Still, I think it would be for the best if we talked about it,” Fyodor said. “We do need to clear up those misunderstandings you have.”

Dazai grumbled to himself but he didn’t say anything more. He let Fyodor carry him to the bathroom, although the Russian struggled greatly in doing so. Once they entered, Fyodor placed Dazai near the countertop.

Fyodor walked over to the shower to turn it on. He made sure the water was all nice and warm, perfect to soothe Dazai's sore muscles but not too hot to burn his soulmate’s precious skin.

Fyodor then walked back to Dazai, picking him up and entering the shower.

“Let me help you, милый,” Fyodor whispered.

He put shampoo into his hands and began massaging the shampoo into Dazai’s curly chocolate locks. It was rare for Dazai to be taken care of so he didn’t even realize the small little hums of contentment he let out. He even clung to Fyodor like the other was going to vanish into thin air.

Once Fyodor was done washing (and conditioning) Dazai’s hair, he moved on to his own. Fyodor quickly washed his hair because he didn’t want to spend too much time on it. He would rather spend his time taking care of and comforting Dazai because the brunette is the most important thing in his life.

Then, Fyodor grabbed a washcloth to put soap on. He pumped some soap onto the washcloth and he slowly moved the cloth all around Dazai’s body. The soothing action made Dazai hum, it felt so good leaning up against Fyodor while he washed his body. Dazai hated how comfortable he felt within Fyodor’s arms—especially since Chuuya was his destined soulmate, not Fyodor.

Although, Fyodor was so thankful that Dazai was too tired to move because he was allowing Fyodor to take care of him. But, he did feel a little bad about overstimulating Dazai the previous night.

“Alright, милый. Let’s get out now,” Fyodor whispered, his lips brushing against Dazai’s ear, causing the brunette to slightly shiver.

Fyodor turned off the water and opened the shower door. He didn’t let go of Dazai at all. He grabbed a towel and gently dried Dazai and then himself. He was careful not to press too hard on his soulmate’s muscles because he didn’t want to harm him.

Once they were dry, Fyodor carried Dazai into the bedroom and plopped the brunette on the bed. Then, he went to his closet and put on some boxers, sweatpants, and a white T-shirt. He also grabbed one of his hoodies and a box from his closet. And, he set the two things right next to Dazai.

“What’s inside the box?” Dazai weerily asked. He eyed the thing in suspicion because he was vaguely reminded of the earlier vision he had.

“A little something I got for you,” Fyodor said.

He didn’t give any clear indication of what could be inside but the suspense didn’t last long because Fyodor opened the box soon after, revealing many different kinds of lingerie sets.

Dazai’s eyes widened and his stomach dropped: he recognized one set from his vision.

“I’m glad that you love what I picked out for you, Osamu,” Fyodor smiled as he picked up the amethyst-colored lingerie set that Dazai was eyeing.

“I don’t love what you chose,” Dazai replied a little too quickly. “I don’t even wear those kinds of things.”

“Yet,” Fyodor said. “I hope you didn’t forget that we have a soulmate imprint and I can tell what you like and don’t like very easily.”

“That’s not–”

“You’ve always wanted to wear lingerie sets because of how beautiful they are. Same thing with more feminine clothes. Fashion is fashion. There should be no labeling when it comes to clothing,” Fyodor said. “Is that not what you think?”

Dazai glared at Fyodor. He was right but Dazai wasn’t going to admit that. Not in a million years.

He stayed silent while Fyodor kneeled down to slide on the lingerie panties. Fyodor’s hands grazed Dazai’s legs in the process, causing the brunette to shiver. Then, Fyodor moved on to the lingerie bra.

After he fastened the bra on, Fyodor stepped back to take Dazai in all his glory. “You look so pretty, милый.”

Dazai only glared in response.

Either way, Fyodor slipped on his hoodie on Dazai. He had always wanted the other to wear his clothing, especially because of the adorable trend of the ‘boyfriend shirts’ and ‘boyfriend hoodies.’ Fyodor couldn’t help but smile at how cute Dazai looked.

“Shall we get something to eat now?” Fyodor asked.

“No. I want to go home now,” Dazai said.

“You are home.”

“No, I’m not. Home is with Chuuya,” Dazai distastefully said.

“Home is with me,” Fyodor said as calmly as he could but he was raging with anger on the inside. Dazai is his yet the brunette keeps trying to run away. All Fyodor wanted to do was love and cherish his dear soulmate. Fyodor truly couldn’t understand why Dazai wouldn’t want that. “You are mine as I am yours. We are soulmates, Osamu. We are meant to be together.”

“I don’t believe in soulmate imprints. They are nothing more than a higher power trying to dictate what the living can and can not do,” Dazai argued. 

Fyodor sighed. “I completely understand where you are coming from, Osamu. I really do. But, a higher power such as God does certain things for the betterment of a human’s life. Whether we follow God’s path is up to the human but God shall always be in our favor.”

Dazai’s face twisted up in disgust. He knew Fyodor was religious, he just didn’t realize he was that religious.

Still, Fyodor continued on with his speech mainly because Dazai didn’t utter a word as a response. “Besides, no one but me will be able to satisfy you, Osamu. Not even your precious pipsqueak.”

“That does no—”

“Oh, but it does matter. You’ll become severely depressed if you’re not in my arms. You’ll go into a frenzy without my love,” Fyodor said. He brought his thumb to Dazai’s bottom lip, soothingly rubbing it. “Soulmates can not live without each other, милый. You will not be able to live a happy life without me by your side .”

Dazai shivered not only at Fyodor’s words but at the implication that it would be utterly unbearable for him if he just up and left with Chuuya. Either way, he wasn’t about to stick around and let destiny push him around. He did not love Fyodor and he never would. Chuuya is his soulmate—their bond didn’t need to be official because the two of them instinctively understood each other. Not even Fyodor could break them apart .

Sighing, Dazai said: “Make me something to eat.”

The change in topics certainly raised some suspicion within Fyodor but he didn’t question it any further. Only because he figured that Dazai would bug him about not being soulmates after they’ve eaten.

“Very well,” Fyodor said. He picked Dazai up and carried him to their kitchen. Fyodor placed Dazai at the table and then walked towards the fridge, taking out the carton of orange juice. He poured two glasses of the drink and put one cup right in front of Dazai. “Is there anything in particular that you want?”

Dazai stayed silent before opening his mouth to utter one single word: “Crepes.”

“Hmmm,” Fyodor muttered to himself. He walked back to the kitchen to open his pantry. Fyodor cooked mainly Russian cuisine so he didn’t really have the traditional ingredients for basic foods like crepes. “I don’t have pancake mix, милый. What el—”

“I don’t want anything else,” Dazai quickly interrupted.

Fyodor stared at Dazai, curiosity seeping into his mind. First, Dazai refused to acknowledge him as a soulmate and now he seemed far too relaxed. It obviously didn’t make sense to Fyodor. Besides, it’s not like he didn’t want to do what his dear soulmate had requested of him. But the change in his mood certainly raised some questions.

“I can make you some crepes some other time, Osamu,” Fyodor tried to reason.

“No!” Dazai shook his head frantically. “I–I,” Dazai gulped and fumbled with the ends of the hoodie he was wearing, “I had—I had a dream earlier. When–when I passed out.”

“A dream?”

Fyodor’s eyes narrowed but then they widened at the memories that were flooding into his brain. 

“You . . . you can see it, right?” Dazai softly said. “I–I want to . . .”

He gulped again and looked down at his hands. He truly hoped he didn’t look suspicious.

“Okay, okay,” Fyodor said. He walked closer to Dazai, lifting his face up. He softly smiled as he brought his lips to Dazai’s plump ones, kissing the brunette. “I understand.”

Dazai only smiled in response.

“I’ll go to the store to get everything we need for crepes, okay?” Fyodor said.

“Yay!” Dazai’s lips curved up into a huge smile. He was overjoyed that Fyodor was willing to leave him alone for a short amount of time. He even played his part well by kissing Fyodor as lovingly as he could.

Fyodor smiled and shook his head. He found Dazai so adorable that he didn’t know how to react. Still, a warning bell rang in Fyodor’s mind.

The complete 180 was strange and definitely absurd. Yet, Fyodor couldn’t find any fault in Dazai’s actions. The brunette seemed genuinely happy to be able to understand what the dream he had meant.

Nevertheless, Fyodor was a cautious man.

“I’m going to change into clothes that are more suitable for going out,” Fyodor said. “So I’ll take you back to the bedroom so you can be more comfortable. Okay?”

“Okay!” Dazai smiled. 

He knew exactly what Fyodor was trying to do but he was not going to let the other know that he knew.

Either way, Fyodor swiftly picked Dazai up and walked back to their shared bedroom. He plopped Dazai on the bed, covering him with fluffy blankets. He even grabbed the remote and turned the TV on to the Hallmark channel. Afterward, he went to his closet to change his clothing.

“I’ll be back in fifteen to twenty minutes, okay?” Fyodor said. He walked over to Dazai and kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Dazai said through gritted teeth.

Then, Fyodor walked out of the bedroom. It didn’t go unnoticed by Dazai that Fyodor locked the door from the outside. He had a vague idea of how the Russian was able to do what he did. All that he needed was something that could push the device out from his side of the door.

Minutes ticked by and Dazai was getting restless. He didn’t even sit up until a whole five minutes had passed. He wanted to ensure that Fyodor was out of the house, and by default, out of earshot. 

He didn’t hesitate to rummage through Fyodor’s drawers in hopes of finding a needle. Thankfully, Fyodor was a man of many talents as he had a threading needle.

Dazai took the needle out of the little kit and got up. “Shit. Shit. Shit!”

Pain surged throughout Dazai’s entire body as he stood up. He cursed Fyodor for abusing his protest without a care for his health.

“Fucking hell! Why is he so fucking big too?” Dazai groaned. “He is such a twink too!”

He grumbled his frustrations as he stumbled all the way to the door—he made sure to grab his phone from the nightstand before he made his long journey of twenty meters.

It didn’t take much effort to pick the lock for the device that held him captive to fall off from outside of the door.

Then, Dazai set off on another long journey.

He was in so much excruciating pain for every step he took but eventually, Dazai made it out the front door and he didn’t look back.

Once he was outside, Dazai took out his phone and dialed his soulmate’s phone number. He shifted his weight from one side to the other, getting restless and antsy from hearing his phone continuously ring. Dazai prayed to God–even though he didn’t like him–so that Chuuya could pick up his phone. He honestly didn’t know what he would do if Chuuya didn’t answer.

“Hey, Mackerel! What’s up?” Chuuya chirped. He sounded awfully happy that morning—Dazai almost felt bad that he was about to ruin it.

“Chuuya…” Dazai muttered. “Wh-where are you at right now?”

On the other end of the line, ruffles sounded out; Chuuya instantly sat up upon hearing the worrisome tone in Dazai’s words.

“I’m at Doc’s house right now,” Chuuya said. “What’s wrong, Dazai?”

Dazai stayed silent, almost wishing he didn’t have to break his dear soulmate’s heart. But the words he needed to say had to come out sooner or later, and unfortunately, it had to be sooner rather than later.

“I’m going to get an Uber to your place and—and I need you to meet me there quickly,” Dazai said. “I’ll tell you everything once we meet in person but–but before that, I need you to leave your phone at Doc’s place and–and say goodbye to your friends. Depending on your answer, you may never see them again.”

“Huh?” Chuuya shouted. “What’s fucking going on Dazai?”

“Fyodor he—he,” Dazai let out a sob. Tears began falling from his chocolate eyes. He knew he sounded pitiful but thankfully, his patheticness was able to get Chuuya to understand a part of the situation without him having to say anything. “Chu-chuuya . . . please—”

Chuuya’s heart clenched upon hearing Dazai cry. He didn’t know exactly what was going on but his gut told him to trust his soulmate’s words. “ Shhh –it’s going to be alright. I’ll meet you at my place in twenty.”

“O-okay,” Dazai muttered.

Once the call ended, Dazai wiped his tears away and ordered an Uber.

The passing trees and blooming flowers looked so peaceful to Dazai as the car drove to Chuuya’s place. He admired the calamity, the peacefulness of the outside world that he so desperately wished to be a part of.

“We’re here,” the Uber driver said, pulling the car to a stop.

Dazai shook his head in an attempt to remove his daydreams from his head. “Thank you.”

He got out of the car as swiftly as he could, the Uber driver watching him act so pitifully. It took more time than it should have for Dazai to reach Chuuya’s apartment.

Knock. Kno—

The front door swung open in an instant, revealing a very panicked Chuuya. The redhead pulled Dazai inside and sat him on the living room couch. 

“Explain,” Chuuya demanded. “What the fucking hell is going on?!”

Dazai tilted his head down, biting his bottom lip. He mindlessly played with the cuticles of his fingers as he retold the events of the last twenty-four hours. However, Dazai failed to retell the entirety of the story.

Nonetheless, Chuuya’s eyes widened in utter shock. He simply couldn’t believe what Fyodor had done. In the deepest part of Chuuya’s heart, it ached with extreme guilt. He had been the one to invite Fyodor to hang out with them. He had been the one to force the two to get along. He had ignored Dazai’s complaints of not wanting to be friends with Fyodor anymore. He ignored all of it and as a result, something so horrific happened to his dear soulmate.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Chuuya mumbled in a mantra as he clung to Dazai so desperately.

“Chuuya…it’s not your fault. It’s Fyodor’s. He is the one who truly believes that we are soulmates. You did nothing wrong,” Dazai muttered back. 

The silence was unbearable to Dazai but it wasn’t like he had a choice anyway. Chuuya needed a moment to fully process everything—he would wait but he couldn’t wait for long. Fyodor would realize the second he got back that Dazai had left. The first place Fyodor would most definitely look would be Chuuya’s place and therefore, they needed to leave as quickly as possible.

“Chuuya, please. He’s going to be on his way to find me soon. We need to leave,” Dazai said. “Please— please , leave everything behind with me and find somewhere we can live a happy, peaceful life.”

“Okay…”Chuuya whispered. He would drop everything for Dazai even if it meant leaving behind his friend group that he cherished so much.  It would most definitely be difficult to contact them in the future especially since Fyodor could try to hurt one of them to find their location. “Let’s pack a couple of things before we set off, okay?”

Dazai nodded his head. He was going to help pack things up but Chuuya made him sit right back down on the couch once he noticed how much pain he was in.

Nonetheless, everything was packed in a matter of minutes. And so, the two got into Chuuya’s car and drove off, leaving everything behind.

Click. 

Creak. 

Click .

The door to Fyodor’s house swung open and then shut. 

“Osamu! I’m home now,” Fyodor called out. He didn’t get a reply so he dropped off the ingredients in the kitchen before heading up the stairs. He assumed that Dazai had fallen asleep or he turned up the volume to the TV but once their bedroom door was in sight, Fyodor’s stomach dropped.

The device he had used to lock Dazai inside of their bedroom was on the floor and the door was wide open, revealing an empty bed.

Within an instant, Fyodor saw red. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened. He didn’t even need to touch the mattress to feel the coldness of it to figure out that Dazai had left quite some time ago.

Fyodor clenched his hands together into a fist. He tried to calm his unsteady breathing but he was so angry that it seemed nearly impossible to calm his raging anger. 

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, Fyodor sent a single message to Dazai through their soulmate connection: I will find you, and when I do, you will face the consequences of running away, Osamu.

Dazai shivered when he heard the message from Fyodor loud and clear in his mind.

“Dazai?” Chuuya called out, noticing a slight tremble on the brunette. “Is everything alright?”

“Of course,” Dazai offered up a more than fake smile.

Chuuya didn’t investigate further because he didn’t want to cause more harm to Dazai. Besides, he was already feeling really guilty about bringing Fyodor into their friendship.

So, he focused on driving while he allowed Dazai to get lost in his extensive daydreams.

The two of them did not have any clue where they wanted to move to but they agreed upon going somewhere on the outskirts of Japan. It was safer that way anyway.

And, driving out of the city and into the rural countryside was pleasant to the eye too.

Eventually, time had passed. Nearly an entire year had gone by. So much had changed, especially where Dazai and Chuuya lived. They had to move more than ten times because Fyodor was quite literally on a hunt for the brunette. Every time Fyodor had gotten close to figuring out their hiding spot, Dazai suggested that they move to another location. Of course, it was all thanks to the soulmate connection that Fyodor and Dazai had.

But, no matter what, moving was hard. Not because the two would have to say goodbye to the home that they had just created (although, that was hard all on itself), no, it was from having to find a new place to live. Eventually, they ran out of usable places to live in Japan. Which meant that Dazai and Chuuya had to flee to an entirely different country.

Currently, they are living peacefully in France. Honestly, Chuuya doesn’t even know how Dazai got all that money to keep on moving but he decided not to question it.

France was certainly a beautiful place. The atmosphere, the people, the culture were so much different than Japan and that’s what Dazai loved about France. Especially the people, the people were so different from what he was used to. It was definitely a nice change of pace.

Dazai strolled down the streets of Paris without a care in the world. Except he did have a care, to be exact, a single care. Ever since he left Fyodor, his body ached constantly and he would have nightmares of being in Fyodor’s embrace once again. It was absolutely horrific and it was only getting worse. The nightmares began getting more freakier, his body was in excruciating pain, and he recently began throwing up and feeling extremely dizzy. 

Of course, Chuuya had noticed the symptoms no matter how much Dazai tried to hide it. There were times when Dazai couldn’t even get out of bed and would tremble, cry, and be short of breath. Chuuya had gotten so freaked out when he saw the state his soulmate was in and he couldn’t do a thing about it.

So, Chuuya had bugged Dazai to go see a doctor so many times but the brunette refused only because he hated doctors. But, Chuuya had won because Dazai was on his way to the doctor’s at the moment. He didn’t like it one bit but Chuuya would be extremely mad at him if he didn’t go after setting up an appointment.

Dazai walked into the doctor’s office, signed his name on the sign-in sheet, and waited for his turn. He bounced his leg up and down as he stared at the movie playing on the TV. He wasn’t watching it but he didn’t want to seem like a weirdo by staring at nothing. At least the TV gave him a reason to be staring at something without looking insane.

“Osamu,” a nurse called out. It took Dazai a couple of seconds to realize his name was being called; it felt foreign to him to be called by his first name. Nonetheless, Dazai got up and walked towards the nurse. “Welcome, sir. This way please.”

Dazai followed the nurse into the back, allowing them to take his vitals without a single word. Eventually, the nurse brought him to a private room where he waited for his new doctor to come give him a check-up.

Dazai took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He needed to calm down, but that was much easier said than done.

“Osamu~” a thick Russian accent called out to him. “Сахарок, I miss you. I miss you so much. Tell me where you are, милый.”

Dazai ignored Fyodor’s constant messages. He tried so hard to keep their connection closed, but it was exhausting having to do it 24/7. Of course, he made sure his side of the connection only sent thoughts that were of the useless variety—if he accidentally sent a message, anyhow. He didn’t want to help Fyodor figure out where he was, after all.

“Osamu, Лучик~” Fyodor drew out his words. “I know how hard it’s been for you to live without me. You must be in so much agony right now. So please, милый, tell me where you are so I can help you . . . Do you remember the warmth you felt being in my arms? Don’t you want to feel that again?”

“Fedya–”

Dazai’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. He stopped all thoughts, and he ignored every single message being sent from Fyodor afterward. He mentally cursed himself for allowing a reply to be sent through their connection.

And, without warning, the room began spinning. Every second felt like he was on an endless carousel, his stomach clenched with pain, sharp stabbing pain. His eyes felt like they were going to roll in an endless circle and his brain began pounding, throbbing, and aching.

“Good mor—Ahhh! Are you okay, Osamu?” The doctor had walked into the private room. They had intended to greet their new patient enthusiastically but was stopped short when they saw how visibly in excruciating pain Dazai seemed to be in.

“No–” Dazai said, covering his mouth shortly after.

The doctor panicked and hastily grabbed the nearby trash can. Their quick thinking saved the janitors a huge mess because Dazai began throwing up.

Dazai shallowly gasped for air and his vision was sprinkled with black dots.

“Take a deep breath for me, okay?” the doctor said. “Breathe in, and breathe out. Breathe in, and breathe out.”

The doctor repeated those words until Dazai had calmed down. Of course, the dizziness and the nausea didn’t stop but it was much more bearable than a few minutes ago. Besides, he did stop throwing up too.

“I’m going to assume that you’re here because of that severe nausea, dizziness, and vomiting you are having?” The doctor asked.

“Yes…” Dazai mumbled.

The doctor took a deep breath. “Okay, okay. I’m going to be doing a series of tests on you to figure out the root of the problem. After I’m done, which will take an hour or two, we’ll look at the results and we’ll decide together what is the best course of action for you.”

Dazai nodded his head, which was a mistake because it hurt to do so. Nonetheless, Dazai didn’t like the idea of being a test subject but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. Chuuya wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if he simply walked out of the doctor’s office without properly receiving a check-up.

And so, the doctor tested everything they could. However, the doctor was utterly stumped—Dazai was completely healthy, besides being underweight, anyhow.

“Hmmm,” the doctor hummed to themself. “Have you gotten any type of shot recently?” Dazai shook his head no. “What about trying any new foods recently?” Dazai shook his head no again. “Hmmm. Have you met your soulmate yet?” Dazai reluctantly nodded his head. “I see . . . how is your relationship with them?”

“We . . . we don’t live together,” Dazai quietly whispered.

After the words came out of his mouth, he realized what he had done—Dazai had unconsciously accepted the fact that Fyodor was his soulmate when that was clearly not true. But now, he couldn’t exactly lie his way out of it.

“Do you miss your soulmate?”

“No!” Dazai said a little too quickly which gave away that Dazai did indeed miss Fyodor.

“I see…” the doctor said. “If you don’t miss your soulmate, then are you constantly thinking of them?”

“No!” Dazai, once again, spoke a little too quickly.

The doctor sighed: “Why are you torturing yourself, Osamu?”

“Huh? What–what is that supposed to mean?”

“You clearly miss your soulmate, Osamu,” the doctor stated. “All your symptoms aren’t related to any medical illnesses. It’s all soulmate-related.”

Dazai bit his bottom lip as he took in his new doctor’s words. Deep down, Dazai knew that was the reason for all his pain but he didn’t want to believe it—he didn’t want Fyodor to be right.

“How strong is the connection?” the doctor said. 

The doctor figured that finding out how deep Dazai’s connection to his soulmate would help determine just how bad things could get for Dazai.

“ Uhhh —I don’t know?”

Dazai furrowed his eyebrows. Truly, he didn’t know how strong his connection with Fyodor was. And, quite frankly, he didn’t want to know.

“I see. Then, how about you explain the traits of the connection?” the doctor said.

“ Um . Okay…I’ll try,” Dazai said. “We— uhh –we obviously have different words on each other’s wrists but-but I can feel his emotions. Even when I don’t want to. I do try to ignore it though, and his–his thoughts. He speaks all the goddamn time. It’s rather annoying especially because it’s so loud and clear.”

Dazai’s doctor nearly choked on their own spit and their eyes widened in complete terror. They had originally thought that Dazai and his soulmate were of the lowest type of connection between soulmates. Especially because it seemed that the two had not gone insane from being so far apart. And, likely for a long time too. What the doctor didn’t expect was for how strong the connection between them would be.

“Are—are you messing with me right now?” the doctor questioned.

Dazai’s eyes widened. “Huh? No? Is there something wrong with—”

“No, no!” the doctor frantically waved their hands in the air. “What about dreams? Is he in your dreams?”

“Unfortunately,” Dazai groaned.

“I see, so that’s how,” the doctor mumbled.

“Hm?”

“Osamu, listen to me,” the doctor said. “Those dreams you have of your soulmate and the constant messages from him are what is keeping you sane. How long have you two been apart?”

“For almost a year now,” Dazai whispered.

“I’m sorry—what?!” the doctor shrieked. “A whole year?!”

“Yes . . .”

Dazai shifted his gaze to the floor. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable, especially because it was like he was a little kid getting scolded by their parents—and it gave him just another reason to hate doctors!

On the other hand, the doctor stayed silent for a minute or two to recollect their thoughts. It should be nearly impossible for Fyodor and Dazai to be apart. But from the look of things, Dazai wasn’t going to take the news well. So, the doctor had to structure their sentences in such a way as to get the brunette to listen.

“Osamu,” the doctor said. “You need to be with your soulmate.”

“Absolutely not!” Dazai said. “Fyodor is not someone I want to have as a soulmate!”

“How can you say that?” the doctor argued back. “The two of you have the rarest kind of connection between soulmates. It’s truly a miracle that his thoughts and your shared dreams are what is keeping you sane.”

“Rarest . . . kind?” Dazai muttered.

“Yes! Rarest kind,” the doctor said. “Historically, type one soulmates can’t live their lives without going a day without physical contact and–or, talking every day.”

“Oh–”

Silence enveloped the air afterward.

Dazai anxiously bit his bottom lip. Everything the doctor said did, in fact, make sense as to why he was living decently , of course, excluding all the pain he had to endure. But, a question did arise in Dazai’s mind. “Does that mean Fyodor is suffering a lot more than I am?”

“Most likely,” the doctor said. “I’m going to assume you don’t reciprocate any messages willingly through your connection, right?”

Dazai nodded his head.

“Yeah, the only spark , for lack of better words, is through your shared dreams,” the doctor said. “So, yes, I do think he is suffering way more than you are.”

A smile crept on Dazai’s plump lips. It was nice knowing that Fyodor was suffering far worse than he was. It was most definitely comforting.

“Лучик~” 

Dazai jolted up and a wave of dizziness hit him like a truck. His vision blurred, his stomach twisted into knots, and his hearing deafened. 

Dazai could barely make out his name being called by the doctor—it all mostly sounded muffled. Yet, there was one clear, concise voice Dazai heard.

“Жизнь моя, I love you so much,” Fyodor said.

Dazai hated it but he could clearly feel the warmth of fuzzy blankets on top of Fyodor.

“Please, please, please—! Tell me where you are Osamu,” Fyodor said. “I miss you so much. It feels like my heart is being torn to shreds without you in my arms.”

“Please–” Dazai stopped himself before he said words he shouldn’t utter. Instead, he opted for: “Please leave me alone. I don’t need nor want you in my life. I don’t love you either.”

“Милый. How can you say that?” Fyodor said. “I’ve only ever wanted to love and cherish you. I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life. You are my entire life, Osamu.”

“I will never—”

A sudden wave of extreme dizziness struck Dazai into a state of unconsciousness. And when he opened his eyes, he was in the arms of the one he loathed the most.

“Osamu!” Fyodor yelped.

He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Dazai’s body, bringing him in close. He could feel how Dazai melted in his embrace–Fyodor knew at that instant that Dazai felt the same outrageous yearning that he felt.

“Милый, I missed you so much,” Fyodor cried. “I love you, I love you, I love you .”

Fyodor began placing wet kisses on Dazai’s neck. The brunette let out soft little mewls as a result. He couldn’t stop his body from reacting to Fyodor. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the kiss Fyodor oh so passionately gave him either.

“Fedya,” Dazai whispered almost like it was forbidden to say. “Fedya–I-I–”

“ Shhh ,” Fyodor cooed. “It’s alright. Tell me where you are, then, we can finally be together.”

“I–I–” Dazai closed his eyes and shook his head. Fyodor was successfully distracting him. So, he had to get his mind straight. He simply couldn’t let Fyodor swing the conversation in such a way that would jeopardize his happiness with Chuuya. “N—”

“ Shhh , Жизнь моя. It’s alright,” Fyodor mumbled on Dazai’s lips. He kissed Dazai just as much passionately as it was lovingly. “Don’t you want to get rid of that god, awful agony of despair? Hm? Osamu, don’t you want to live the life from your dream?”

Fyodor’s words were like a demon whispering sweet nothings that masked the true intent. Still, Fyodor did mean every word he spoke. He wasn’t trying to trick Dazai only to leave him in utter despair. No, he was trying to trick Dazai into telling him where the hell he was.

“I–no–I-I shouldn’t,” Dazai said.

“And why not, милый?”

“Because Ch–”

“But doesn’t Chuuya make you feel like he is draining your life away?”

“What–no! He–”

“He what, Osamu?” Fyodor kissed Dazai again. Not only because he desperately missed the love of his life but he noticed how easily Dazai slipped into a mushed state when he did so. “Osamu, Osamu, Osamu . Don’t you want to live in our new home? I bought the exact house you showed me. Osamu , don’t you want to cuddle in my arms?”

“I–I y-yes—”

Before Dazai could even think about what he said, Fyodor smashed his lips upon Dazai’s again. But, this time, he slipped his tongue inside of Dazai’s wet cavern. His hands roamed under Dazai’s shirt too, feeling the other up.

“Fyodor,” Dazai moaned.

His breath was uneven and Fyodor made sure that Dazai stayed like that.

“I love you, Osamu,” Fyodor said.

He attached his lips to Dazai’s neck, marking his claim on what belonged to him.

“I-I love you t-too,” Dazai softly whimpered.

He didn’t know what he was saying but feeling Fyodor smile against his skin made him feel so good. He couldn’t explain it. Fyodor was making everything that he was bottling up so much better.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Dazai said in a mantra. He only stopped when Fyodor shut him up with a wet kiss.

Fyodor even placed his hands on either side of Dazai’s waist. He soothingly rubbed the flesh just like he had the first night they made love. “Милый, are you mine?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! I am, I am! ” Dazai cried. “I am yours !”

“Then, if you’re mine, tell me where you are so I can come to you,” Fyodor mumbled on Dazai’s lips.

Tears formed in the brunette’s eyes. He could visibility see the deep yearning that Fyodor had for him just from looking at the beautiful, captivating amethyst eyes Fyodor had.

“France,” Dazai said at last. “I’m in Paris.”

Fyodor smiled as the exact address of Dazai’s temporary place entered his brain.

“I’ll be with you shortly, okay?”

“Hurry, please —”

“Os…mu! Mu…Osamu!” the doctor shook Dazai awake.

“Huh?” Dazai looked at his surroundings. “I-I.”

“Osamu, do you know where you are?”

“...Yes…the doctor’s office...”

Dazai furrowed his eyebrows. Something was missing but he couldn’t quite put his tongue on it.

“Do you remember what happened?” the doctor asked.

“No.”

“What is the last thing you remember?”

“I remember you telling me that Fyodor is suffering far worse than I am,” Dazai recalled.

“Hmm, I see.”

The doctor said nothing more. Instead, he helped Dazai regain his composure before they escorted Dazai to the hallway, showing him the exit. 

Then, Dazai went on his “merry” way home, still confused as to what happened during the last portion of his visit.

“You’re back already?” Chuuya said as soon as Dazai entered their home.

“Yep.” 

“How did everything go?”

“They couldn’t find the reason for my pain,” Dazai lied. 

There really was no need to tell Chuuya about the fake soulmate he had. Besides, he couldn’t care less about Fyodor. Chuuya was the only one he needed in his life.

“Really?” Chuuya frowned. “That’s fucking unfortunate.”

“Truly.”

Dazai made up a facade so Chuuya wouldn’t be worried about him. He did so while simultaneously subduing all the horrendous pain he was facing and the not-so-quiet voice calling out to him. 

On one sunny afternoon in France, Chuuya found the day so lovely, so romantic that he decided to make that afternoon one full of love. He hadn’t been on a proper date with Dazai ever since they moved to France and that was over two weeks ago. They were long overdue for a romantic date night, which is why Chuuya set out to buy fresh ingredients and a decently expensive red wine and whiskey.

Dazai was out for work doing God knows what so that gave Chuuya enough time to set everything up. However, once he reached the front door of their home, he stopped in his tracks.

“Dazai?” Chuuya called out,

The door was wide open and it almost looked like a burglar had entered their home. Yet, just from peeking in, Chuuya found that everything was still in its designated spot. 

So, Chuuya hesitantly walked into the house and when did, he heard a quiet little “hmph” sound coming from the bedroom. Chuuya dropped the bags in his hands and sprinted toward the closed bedroom door.

“Dazai!”

Chuuya was met with an empty room and a quick prick on his neck, causing him to lose consciousness.

“That was far easier than I expected,” Fyodor mumbled to himself.

Fyodor left Chuuya on the floor as he went to get the dropped bags and closed the front door. He even began putting all the ingredients away like he owned the place. And, once he was done, Fyodor grabbed a kitchen chair and headed straight back to the unconscious Chuuya.

“Okay . . . now for the annoying part,” Fyodor grumbled.

Fyodor took his sweet time dragging Chuuya closer to the kitchen chair he had set near the bed. He also tied the redhead up in extremely tight knots that left Chuuya’s skin white from the pressure. The only reason why Fyodor was slow in preparing his gift for his soulmate was because of two reasons: one, he wanted everything to be perfect, and two, Dazai wasn’t going to come back to his temporary home until seven pm that night.

Fyodor had made exquisitely complicated arrangements to make sure Dazai’s co-workers invited him out to dinner, while also chatting a storm up to cause Dazai to get back to his temporary home late.

Thankfully, everything worked out.

The sun slowly started to set as time passed by—Fyodor was getting mighty impatient from all the waiting he had to endure. It was already seven pm yet Dazai was still not back. He figured that Dazai was being held up by either traffic or his co-workers. Either way, Fyodor started to shift his weight between his two feet. His restlessness was starting to get to him but then, he heard the soft jungle of keys from outside of the front door.

Once the door swung open, Fyodor swiftly pulled Dazai in and hastily closed the door so he could push the brunette against it.

“Ah!” Dazai gasped. “Fy—”

Dazai was rudely interrupted by a needy pair of lips upon his own. Dazai was utterly perilous because he quite literally melted within Fyodor’s warm embrace.

He did pathetically try to push Fyodor off but his hands decided to move on their own to Fyodor’s raven hair instead. 

Dazai ran his dainty hands through Fyodor’s hair, earning a groan from the Russian.

Not wasting a second, Fyodor bit on Dazai’s bottom lip to make the brunette gasp so he could slip his tongue inside. Fyodor hungrily devoured Dazai, not waiting any longer to slide his hands under Dazai’s shirt to feel the other up.

He craved Dazai so dearly. It was so utterly unbearable to be away from Dazai for so long. Fyodor became a starved beast the minute he laid eyes on his prey.

Against Dazai’s will, soft little moans of content left his lips. The warmth, the comfort, the craving hit Dazai all at once. His emotions exploded within him as he silently slipped into a state of submission.

Fyodor reluctantly pulled away for air but he latched his lips back on shortly after. Fyodor’s hands found their way to the side of Dazai’s hips, massaging them softly.

Dazai was a complete mess. He was so lost in the pleasure he desperately craved–yet ran away from–that he didn’t realize he was reciprocating all the touching and kissing until he heard a semi-loud noise coming from his bedroom.

The noise brought Dazai back to reality, causing him to push Fyodor off with all his might. “S-stop!”

Dazai panted as he tried to recollect himself. His lips were all red and puffy, and his body aching to feel Fyodor against his skin again.

“Why-why—how? How did you find—find me?” Dazai panted.

Fyodor’s eyes sharpened into a furious glare. “The first thing you say to me is question how I found you. Are you kidding me? It took me one year, two months, and three days to find you. Do you even understand how long that is? Do you even understand how utterly insufferable it was for me?”

Dazai stayed silent, averting his gaze away from Fyodor but the Russian forced Dazai to look at him straight in the eyes.

He bit his bottom lip, Dazai definitely knew how hard it was being away from Fyodor. He knew it all too well.

“You may have been in agony but I have been living a wonderful life ,” Dazai said, lying even to himself. He was not, in fact, living such a wonderful life but he repeated that same statement over and over again, or else it wouldn’t come true.

“That’s fucking bullshit Osamu!” Fyodor snarled. “I can feel how much you crave me! I can feel all the nausea, the dizziness, the migraines, the suffocation! I can feel it all! I’ve seen the dreams you’ve had too. The mere fucking fact that you couldn’t resist me in your dreams tells me everything I need to know about your true fucking feelings!”

“That—”

“ Mmmph! ”

The noise of muffled screams captured Dazai’s attention. It took him a moment to realize that the only other person living with him was Chuuya.

“What the fucking hell did you do to Chuuya?” Dazai panicked.

“I did what was necessary,” Fyodor said.

Dazai’s eyes widened—he couldn’t believe the implications of what Fyodor meant. 

On pure instinct, Dazai ran to his shared bedroom with Chuuya. He opened the door and to his horror, Chuuya was being held hostage–ropes were tightly wrapped around his body, binding him to a kitchen chair.

“Chu-chuuya!” Dazai said, fear laced in his voice. 

Dazai shakily stepped forward, one step at a time. It was such an awful feeling knowing that Chuuya was in such a vulnerable state because of him. Dazai couldn’t help but think: If I hadn’t run away from Fyodor, Chuuya would be safe.

Dazai lifted one of his hands, reaching out for Chuuya. He was so desperate in trying to free his dear soulmate from the ropes that restricted him from moving that he didn’t realize Fyodor was behind him.

“Why do you care for someone so imbecile as he is?” Fyodor asked. 

Dazai stopped in his tracks. The brunette craned his head toward Fyodor, his eyes wide with both shock and fury. He simply couldn’t believe what Fyodor had called Chuuya! Chuuya an imbecile? No. No. No! That’s not right. That’s not right at all!

“What the fucking hell did you just say?!” Dazai said, anger bubbling in his chest.

Fyodor knew nothing about Chuuya, not the way he knew Chuuya, anyhow. Fyodor made an awfully absurd statement yet he had the audacity to say such a thing.

Fyodor paid no mind to Dazai’s question. Instead, he stalked toward the brunette. Once they were close enough to touch, Fyodor cupped Dazai’s cheeks and softly rubbed his thumb over Dazai’s bottom lip.

Dazai did his best not to let it show that he enjoyed Fyodor’s touch but it didn’t go unnoticed by the Russian.

“Osamu, Сахарок,” Fyodor softly said. “You don’t need Chuuya in your life. You never needed him. So please, Osamu, please, please, please come home with me.”

“Home is with Chuuya,” Dazai forced out. “Home has always been with Chuuya.”

Fyodor didn’t like Dazai’s answer. No, not at all! He would have thought that Dazai would have jumped right into his arms and welcomed him wholeheartedly especially because of their previous shared dream.

He knew Dazai was suffering so much not being in his arms for an entire year, and yet, Dazai remained stubborn until the very end. So, of course, Fyodor was absolutely furious with Dazai’s defiance.

“ Home is with me ,” Fyodor lowly said.

His eyes sharped into a harsh glare. Fyodor retracted his hands from Dazai’s cheeks—he noticed the subtle quiet whine Dazai made from the loss of contact. 

Nonetheless, if Dazai was going to avoid the truth, then, Fyodor was going to force him to see it, one way or another. 

Fyodor had one major trick up his sleeve. One trick that would make Dazai see just how much they needed each other. One trick to make Dazai realize the love he has for Fyodor. One single trick to make Dazai hate Chuuya.

Fyodor slipped his hand in his right pocket, pulling out something that Dazai could not see. The item was way too small. Besides, Fyodor hid it away like it was the most fragile thing in the entire world that needed to be protected.

“I didn’t want it to come to this, Osamu,” Fyodor said. “But, you know, drastic times call for drastic measures.”

“What the hell is that supposed to— Ack! ” Dazai said, yelping midway because he felt a little prick on his neck.

He didn’t know exactly what Fyodor had pricked him with but his vision went black and his limbs turned to jelly. He would have flopped to the floor if Fyodor hadn’t caught him.

“ Shhh , Osamu. Don’t worry, everything will be alright. Just give it a minute,” Fyodor softly whispered as he tenderly hugged Dazai.

Fyodor’s words echoed in Dazai’s brain but once his mind was silent again, a small little voice spoke up to him. Telling him , commanding him to love his soulmate, to cherish his soulmate, and to forget about the fake love he had for Chuuya. The voice repeatedly told Dazai to only love Fyodor Dostoevsky because he was the only one who could ever satisfy him.

At first, the small little voice was foreign to Dazai but he soon realized who the voice belonged to. The voice didn’t belong to Fyodor, it didn’t belong to Chuuya either, it belonged to him. Dazai went into a state of uncertainty, he didn’t want to believe that his own inner voice was telling him to love Fyodor and yet he couldn’t deny the fact that it was his voice.

Dazai fought against himself by repeating the phrase “I love Chuuya,” but that phrase was quickly drowned out by the words “I love Fyodor.”

His heart began pounding, his breathing became more unsteady and his mind was filled with images of Fyodor loving him dearly.

Then, clarity knocked at Dazai’s door and welcomed themselves in.

“Fedya!” Dazai cried. “Where-where have you been?!”

Dazai looked into Fyodor’s amethyst eyes as tears threatened to fall down.

Fyodor gave him a gentle smile as he cupped the brunette’s face. “I’ve been looking all over for you but that doesn’t matter anymore. You are safe now. You are exactly where you should be .”

Confusion crossed over Dazai’s face as he looked around the room—this place wasn’t home. Although, he vaguely remembered where he was but still, the bedroom looked foreign.

“But–but this isn’t home?” Dazai said.

“Home is with me,” Fyodor said. “No matter where we are, your home is within my arms.”

Dazai’s mouth made a cute little ‘o’ shape. Then, he snuggled himself into the crook of Fyodor’s neck—Dazai finally felt at peace.

Fyodor rubbed his hands on the lower part of Dazai’s back, sneaking down to the brunette’s ass. Fyodor squeezed the flesh, earning a small little squeak.

Smiling, Fyodor allowed himself the liberty of roaming his hands all around Dazai’s body but his gaze was not on the brunette. Fyodor stared straight at Chuuya, whose eyes were wide with horror. Fyodor’s smile mocked the tied-up Chuuya as he was forced to watch Fyodor undress Dazai and place him on the bed.

Fyodor took off his shirt, revealing his toned body. He slipped off his pants and boxers too. Dazai’s breath hitched as his mouth watered at the drool-worthy thick cock that Fyodor had.

Then, Fyodor climbed right on top of Dazai, placing his lips on the brunette’s neck so he could bite and suck to create love bites.

“ Hmmph! ” Chuuya’s muffled scream echoed throughout the room. He was pathetically trying to get Dazai’s attention—unfortunately for Fyodor, it worked.

“Fedya?” Dazai whispered. “What about the guy sitting over there? Is–is he meant to . . . watch?”

Fyodor still hovered over Dazai’s neck as he mumbled: “Yes. Now ignore him and pay attention to me.”

“Okay— Ah ~” Dazai moaned when he felt Fyodor sucking harder on his neck.

Dazai squirmed under Fyodor’s touch. He craved the pleasure but at the same time, he wanted to run away from it. His body wasn’t entirely used to being touched so intimately. So, of course, he would squirm but even if he wanted to run away, Fyodor would not let him.

Fyodor’s grip on Dazai’s waist was sure to leave marks.

Nonetheless, Fyodor used his pre-cum as a lubricant. He couldn’t wait much longer—he needed to be connected with his soulmate. Such actions allowed Fyodor to get fully hard.

Then, he aligned himself with Dazai’s entrance. This wasn’t the first time Dazai took him whole without prep so Fyodor thought it would be fine.

So, Fyodor pushed his thick head in. He watched with satisfaction as Dazai screamed out from the burning sensation of entering. Dazai’s hands found their way to Fyodor’s back, scratching hard enough to draw blood.

“Fedya~!” Dazai screamed.

“ Shhh , I know, милый, I know,” Fyodor whispered. “It will feel good soon, okay?”

Dazai nodded his head. He trusted Fyodor without a doubt. If Fyodor said the pain would transform into pleasure, who was he to defy Fyodor?

Either way, Fyodor pushed himself all the way in, not bothering to let Dazai get used to the tip of his cock being inside.

“ Ahh ~!” Dazai screamed.

Tears formed at the ends of Dazai’s cute doe eyes, and eventually, streaming down his porcelain skin. Dazai’s insides were stretched out so much that even a bulge appeared on his belly. Even though Dazai was in utter pain, the feeling of being full filled him with so much satisfaction.

This time, Fyodor was kind enough to let Dazai adjust to his length.

While Dazai got comfortable with being stuffed full from such a huge cock, Chuuya watched in horror. He didn’t like how his soulmate was making love to someone who was utterly insane. He was the only one supposed to hear Dazai moan, scream, and beg. He was the only one supposed to see Dazai without all his bandages!

Despite this, Chuuya couldn’t tear his eyes away from Fyodor and Dazai, no matter how much he hated the scene in front of him.

“I’m going to move now, Osamu,” Fyodor said.

He gave Dazai a warning, not a question to be answered because even if the possibility was slim, he didn’t want Dazai running away. Fyodor wanted Dazai to submit to him and no one else.

Eventually, Fyodor pulled out so only his tip was left inside, only to slam right back in. Dazai’s back arched beautifully and his cock squirted white ropes of cum all over his belly.

Fyodor darkly chuckled. “My, my. Жизнь моя has cummed already?”

“ Nng ~” Dazai moaned. “Fedya—feels so good~ ”

Fyodor licked his lips right before he angled himself right at Dazai’s prostate. He knew his lover’s body inside out, meaning he could abuse Dazai’s sweet spot early on. Fyodor was rewarded handsomely by the screams and moans Dazai let out.

“Fyodor~!”

Dazai’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as Fyodor set a brutal pace but that didn’t matter. He craved it anyway. Dazai profoundly missed the one time Fyodor had fucked him so hard that he could no longer think. He absolutely loved being at Fyodor’s mercy.

“ Ahh~! ” Dazai moaned as he saw stars once again.

“Hmm~” Fyodor cooed. “Look at you, милый. Cumming on my dick again. You really are so sensitive, милый.”

Only a whimper left Dazai’s lips because Fyodor was right. Not that he minded because the mere thought of getting railed until his body went limp was so appetizing .

The tightness of Dazai’s clenching hole, the sound of skin slapping against skin, and Dazai screaming out his name was pushing Fyodor closer to the edge. It had been such a lonely year that his desperation for his soulmate was going to be his undoing.

Dazai could feel how close Fyodor was. He craved to be filled up with Fyodor’s cum. Both could sense it from their connection.

“Please, please, please~! ” Dazai begged. 

“Hm? Please what, милый?” Fyodor asked like he didn’t already know what Dazai wanted.

“ Please , fill me up! Please ,” Dazai cried. “I need it, I need it!”

Fyodor darkly chuckled at how cute his soulmate was being. He simply adored Dazai begging him. God, he loved it so much! It made him feel superior like he owned Dazai.

“Of course, Osamu ,” Fyodor groaned. “Anything for you~”

Fyodor went harder and faster, making sure the neighbors heard how good he was pleasuring Dazai. Fyodor moaned at the idea of letting everyone know that Dazai belonged to him and him alone. He really did love the idea of fully owning Dazai.

With that thought in mind, Fyodor made one last harsh thrust, releasing all of his semen deep inside Dazai.

Fyodor groaned into Dazai’s ear as he rode out his high. “You did so good, Osamu , s o good. ” Dazai whimpered at the sweet nothings that Fyodor whispered into his ear. “You’re such a good fuck toy, Сахарок.” 

A pathetic mewl left Dazai’s lips and a blush formed on his cheeks. Fyodor was never one to say such dirty things, let alone curse. So unintentionally, Dazai’s dick twitched, becoming half-hard as a result—Fyodor merely let out a short chuckle.

Then, without warning, Fyodor pulled out and flipped Dazai over so his ass was up. The sight before him made Fyodor half-hard, and he only needed to pump his cock a few times before he reentered Dazai.

Fyodor groaned as Dazai tightly clenched around his cock. It felt so amazing that Fyodor didn’t bother holding back any praises. “You did so good for me, Osamu . You took me so well, so well . You’re going to take me like a good boy again, right?”

“Yes!” Dazai sobbed.

He was more than ready to be pounded into again and Fyodor gladly gave him that.

Dazai’s broken cries were like music to Fyodor’s ears. He really didn’t want to stop but eventually, he was running out of stamina. He cursed himself for being so weak but he knew he did a good job when he saw how limp Dazai’s body was.

So, with his quick thinking, Fyodor repositioned them so Dazai was sitting in his lap and his cock was corking in all of his cum inside of Dazai’s hole.

Dazai’s head leaned against Fyodor’s shoulders. This angle gave Fyodor easy access to Dazai’s ear, which he gladly nipped at.

“ Shhh ,” Fyodor cooed. “You’re going to cum again for me, won’t you?”

“I-I,” Dazai tried to say but his voice was barely above a whisper. “I . . . can’t . . . anymore, Fedya.”

Dazai’s breath was so quick and shallow that it gave Fyodor a sense of pride because he was the one to cause Dazai to be in this state. Still, he knew Dazai was overstimulated but that didn’t matter.

So, Fyodor brought his hand to Dazai’s dick, pumping it.

“Fedya,” Dazai cried. “It hurts! It hurts!”

“ Shhh , I know, I know, Сахарок,” Fyodor’s voice tickled Dazai’s ear, “But I want to see you crying more. Won’t you entertain me?”

“I–” Dazai gulped, he was split between wanting to stop and wanting to make Fyodor happy. In the end, he said: “Yes.”

“Good,” Dazai could feel the smile that formed on Fyodor’s lips pressing against his ear, “Now be a good boy and cum for me again.”

Fyodor pumped Dazai’s dick at a brutal pace. He tenderly kissed Dazai’s cheek as the brunette cummed again. He did so a few more times until Dazai was full-on sobbing.

“ Shhh , Сахарок, it’s alright, it’s alright,” Fyodor cooed. He gently kissed Dazai’s tears but his hand still didn’t stop. “You're doing so good for me, so good .”

“Fyo-Fyodor,” Dazai sobbed. “Hurts, hurts…”

“I know, I know but you’re doing so good for me.”

Fyodor was a cruel man as he fastened his pace. Before Dazai even knew it, he cummed again but this time, his vision went black.

Dark chuckles slipped past Fyodor’s lips as he saw Dazai pass out from pleasure. “Oh dear, oh dear. What am I going to do with you, Osamu?”

Instead of stopping and putting Dazai to rest, Fyodor began sucking on the brunette’s neck. He wanted to make his love bites darker. But, he also pulled at Dazai’s nipples.

Honestly, Fyodor was hard again because the sexual torture he inflicted on his beloved soulmate was just so deliciously appetizing . And, he figured that Dazai wouldn’t mind if he continued since he already agreed to Fyodor giving him handjobs just to see the brunette crying.

So, Fyodor placed his hands on either side of Dazai’s slim waist, picking the brunette up only to slam right back down. The pleasure Dazai was feeling made him awake with a startle.

“ Fyodor~ ” Dazai moaned. “Fyodor, Fyodor, Fyodor ~”

Although the pace was a lot slower than before, Fyodor filled Dazai’s insides once again. He harshly bit on Dazai’s shoulders and forced the brunette to grind on him so that he could ride out his high.

“Fyodor,” Dazai cried. “‘M tired.”

“Mm?” Fyodor lovingly rubbed his hand on Dazai’s bulging belly. God, he loved seeing his soulmate stuffed full of his cum. “Okay, okay. We’ll be done for tonight.”

Even though Fyodor said this, he still continued to bite all along Dazai’s nape. And, on either side. Once he was done, Fyodor positioned them on their sides so Dazai could cockwarm him all night. Not once did Fyodor’s hands leave Dazai’s belly.

“I love you so much, Osamu,” Fyodor said.

“I love you too, Fedya.”

“Now, get some sleep.”

Those were the last words that Dazai heard before his eyes fluttered shut. However, Fyodor didn’t go to sleep. He was smiling to himself as pride surged throughout his body. After such a long journey, Dazai was finally on the right path in life and he would make sure Dazai stayed on the right track.

Then, Fyodor allowed sleep to overtake him as he cuddled his soulmate.

The night had passed by relatively quickly for both Fyodor and Dazai, but for Chuuya, it felt like an eternity of torture.

Not only did he have to endure watching Fyodor pleasure Dazai but he had to hear Dazai moan, scream, and beg. Chuuya had to watch as Fyodor claimed Dazai as his own.

And on top of that, he was cold, tired, and hungry.

He hated that the bright sun of the early morning gently hugged the two sleeping soulmates and there was nothing he could do.

Fyodor had woken up first, humming in contentment from the warmth that Dazai was radiating. He softly yawned, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Fyodor turned his gaze to the wide-awake redhead who was shooting daggers at him with his eyes.

“Good morning, Chuuya,” Fyodor said, his voice laced with mockery. “Did you enjoy yesterday’s show?

“Hmmph hmph hmmmph!” Chuuya tried to curse Fyodor out but the gag in his mouth stopped him from doing so. 

“Quiet,” Fyodor threatened. “Osamu is still asleep. You don’t want to wake him up from his slumber, now do you?”

Chuuya only glared at Fyodor in response. Of course, he didn’t want to wake the sleeping beauty up but at the same time, he hated seeing Dazai cuddle Fyodor so tenderly. 

Yawning again, Fyodor rubbed his eyes, trying to rub the sleep away. He gently moved his body a little to the left so he could pull the drawing of the nightstand open. Yesterday, he had put a little something special into the drawer and now he needed it.

Chuuya’s eyes widened as he saw the items that Fyodor had pulled out: an empty syringe and a bottle full of an unknown substance. 

“Hmmph! Hmm! Hmmmph!” Chuuya screamed into the gag.

“ Quiet ,” Fyodor said in a low threatening voice. He simply couldn’t have Dazai waking up because a nuisance couldn’t keep quiet and so, Fyodor mentally cursed himself for not thinking to drug Chuuya with something to make him docile. “You should know better than anyone that I would never hurt Osamu. He is my soulmate .”

Chuuya was positively baffled. He had never seen a more insane person in his entire life. His heart thumped faster and faster—his eyes were glued to Fyodor’s movements. Fyodor had put the syringe into the bottle, sucking up every last drop of the liquid. Once the syringe was filled to the brim, Fyodor brought the needle to Dazai’s arm.

Tears formed in Chuuya’s beautiful ocean eyes as he watched Fyodor inject the syringe into Dazai’s arm. Chuuya’s muffled cries sounded throughout the room. He hated it. He hated every bit of it! He couldn’t protect Dazai and that is what tore Chuuya apart.

“Didn’t I tell you to be quiet, Chuuya ?” Fyodor said, his voice slashing right through the redhead. “You are going to wake Osamu up. Be quiet . Now .”

Chuuya couldn’t stop his sobs but he did try. He didn’t like having to submit to Fyodor but he didn’t have any other choice. He wasn’t in any position to refuse, after all.

It was noon when Dazai’s cute doe eyes fluttered open. He softly hummed when he awoke because Fyodor was soothingly playing with his hair. He was so comfortable in Fyodor’s arms that he never wanted to leave.

“Good morning, милый. Actually,” Fyodor softly chuckled, “Good evening.”

“Eve-evening?” Dazai yawned.

“Yes, evening.” Fyodor laughed. “Did you get a good night's rest, Osamu?”

Dazai hummed as he softly nodded his head.

“As much as I would love to cuddle longer, we do need to get up,” Fyodor said. He tightly wrapped his arms around Dazai’s body, bringing him impossibly closer. “Our flight back home is at eight pm.”

Dazai pouted. “But I don’t want to get up yet.”

“I know, I know.” Fyodor sighed. He too, didn’t want to get up but they really did need to get back home. “But doesn’t cuddling in our bed sound much better than being in this unfamiliar place?”

Dazai nodded his head before reluctantly starting to get up. His body was beyond sore and his energy didn’t replenish even after his restful sleep so Fyodor helped Dazai sit up.

When Fyodor finally pulled out, cum slid down Dazai’s thigh, earning him a soft little whimper. Dazai would have much preferred to keep Fyodor’s cum inside of him longer but the world was cruel. However, this desire was transferred to Fyodor, and he couldn’t help but softly chuckle at his soulmate.

Fyodor brought Dazai into his embrace once again, snuggling his nose in the crook of Dazai’s neck. He gently placed wet kisses all along Dazai’s nape, earning himself quiet giggles.

“ Fedya ,” Dazai said. “Stop that!”

“Hmm,” Fyodor hummed. “Okay, okay. Fine. Now, come on. We need to get cleaned up.”

Fyodor made a move to get off the bed and he was about to help Dazai too. That is until the brunette said: “Fedya?”

“Yes, Сахарок?”

“What about him ?” Dazai said. Fyodor raised his eyebrows, silently asking what the brunette meant. “ That guy, over there. What are we going to do with him?”

“Oh, that,” Fyodor said, “We’ll leave him there. It’s his punishment.”

“Punishment?”

“Yes, punishment, милый.” Fyodor pulled Dazai into a hug, cuddling close. He even brought his lips to Dazai’s ear so he could whisper: “Chuuya has committed a severe sin. He committed a crime punishable by law and God. And when there is a crime, there is punishment. And when there is punishment, there is crime. Crime and Punishment go hand in hand, after all.”

Dazai stayed silent. He didn’t have nary a clue as to what Fyodor meant but either way, he allowed Fyodor to put his shirt on him. Honestly, Dazai quite liked wearing Fyodor’s shirt because it was comforting. He especially liked how Fyodor’s shirt was almost like a short dress on him.

“You know what, милый, we should eat first,” Fyodor said, slipping on his pants. “Just a little snack. I don’t want you passing out in the shower.”

Again, Dazai stayed silent. He was lost in thought.

“Osamu?”

“Ah,” Dazai caught Fyodor’s gaze, “Fedya? What is his crime?”

Fyodor smiled. “His crime is taking you away from me.”

“ Hmmmph! Hmmph! ” Chuuya’s muffled curses were directed at Fyodor. But, then he turned his gaze to Dazai. He looked deep into Dazai’s chocolate eyes, trying to bring his soulmate back to reality but all he saw was fury building up.

Fyodor was, of course, amused by this. “Osamu? Is everything alright?”

“No! No, it’s not!” Dazai huffed. “ This man ruined everything! I don’t know what happened or how I was able to be stolen but I could have been happy if this damn asshole wasn’t in my life!”

“Huh?” Fyodor’s eyes widened and before he knew it, a smirk formed on his lips. Sure, he read the little spiel of the drug’s intended effects, he just didn’t realize that it was so strong . Although, this sudden rage was not unwelcomed by Fyodor.

Dazai gently pushed Fyodor off him and scooted toward the nightstand. He pulled the bottom drawer open, grabbing his switch knife.

“Милый? What are you doing?” Fyodor asked.

He had never seen Dazai so determined in his entire life.

“What is necessary,” Dazai said, matter of factly.

Dazai stalked towards Chuuya—although, it was more like him limping pathetically. Once he was in front of Chuuya, he began glaring at the redhead.

“Mmmh! Mmmh! Mmmmh!” Chuuya screamed.

Everyone in the room knew what was going to happen. It wasn’t hard to deduce what Dazai’s intentions were.

“You’ve ruined my entire life ,” Dazai furiously said. “ You will pay for that. ”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Dazai stabbed Chuuya in the chest with his shiny blade.

“Mmmhhhhhh!” 

Blood splattered on Dazai as he repeatedly stabbed Chuuya in the chest. Dazai didn’t stop—it was like he went into a trance.

Fyodor stood on the sidelines with a wicked smirk on his lips. He held back the laughter that wanted to escape. He found it utterly amusing just how easy it was for Dazai to stab his once beloved “soulmate.”

The light in Chuuya’s eyes burned a fiery rage—screaming as loud as he could, agony filling his entire body and yet he was determined. Chuuya was determined to bring Dazai back to his senses even if it meant he would lose his own life in the process. He didn’t know how he would do it but he had to try because Dazai wasn’t himself. Fyodor turned him into a monster .

“Mmmmh!” Chuuya screamed. He stared deep into Dazai’s eyes, hoping, praying that he could reach the brunette through his hazy mind. But his efforts were in vain— stab, stab, stab— Dazai didn’t bat an eye. He thoroughly stabbed Chuuya without a moment's hesitation. “Mmmmphhhh! Mmmh!”

The thick red liquid that squirted out of Chuuya’s body drenched Dazai head to toe. Amazed, Fyodor walked closer to Dazai to gently place his hands on the brunette’s waist.

“Osamu, dear,” Fyodor’s voice gently tickled Dazai’s left ear, “You’ve done enough, милый. Can’t you see it?”

Dazai paused his movements to take in the sight before him. He didn’t have a clue as to what Fyodor meant until he realized the state Chuuya was in: his body limp, his screams subdued, and the fiery passion that was once in his eyes was gone.

Chuuya was dead. Dazai had killed him—Dazai had killed him without hesitation. There should be guilt or remorse in Dazai but there wasn’t. They were nowhere in sight. Relief and happiness clouded his mind instead as he smiled at his beautiful, exquisite work.

“Finally, finally , we can live happily together,” Dazai said, a smile on his lips and tears of happiness threatening to fall. “Isn’t that amazing, Fedya?”

“Mmmh, it is. It really is,” Fyodor hummed. “милый, you’re a little dirty. So, I guess we shall go with the original plan and clean up before we eat.”

“Okay!” Dazai smiled.

Fyodor led Dazai to the nearby bathroom. He turned on the water in the shower, allowing it to warm up. Then, he slipped off the blood-stained t-shirt that Dazai wore before taking off his own clothes.

Once they were situated, Fyodor stepped into the shower, his hand out for Dazai to grab. The water turned crimson as the blood washed off Dazai.

“Fedya?” Dazai mumbled.

“Hmm, Лучик?” Fyodor said, rubbing a washcloth with soap on Dazai’s body.

“I love you,” Dazai said. “I love you so much. Please—please never leave me.”

A smile crept on Fyodor’s lips. “Of course, my love. I shall never leave you. That I promise.” Fyodor took Dazai’s left hand, kissing it tenderly. “You are my soulmate after all. I don’t even want to imagine my life without you, милый. I love you so much, don’t ever forget that, okay?”

“Hmm, okay,” Dazai softly giggled.

He clung to Fyodor as he was getting all clean. Once the two were done, Fyodor stepped out of the shower, and Dazai followed suit. 

Fyodor grabbed a towel and dried Dazai off before himself. Then, they made their way back into the bedroom. Fyodor pulled out some spare clothes he had packed. He dressed Dazai in shorts and a hoodie while his own clothes were simply lounging around type of clothing.

“Young master?” a servant called out. “I’ve brought some food.”

“Who’s that?” Dazai questioned, his eyebrows furrowing.

“My servants, dear,” Fyodor chuckled. “Now come.”

“Ah, okay!”

Fyodor led Dazai to the kitchen. He bowed a little toward the servant, not knowing exactly what to do. Dazai never realized that Fyodor came from old money.

The two sat at the kitchen table, eating pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

“I’m so full!” Dazai giggled as he rubbed his belly.

“I’m glad, now let’s head to the airport, милый,” Fyodor said.

“Hm? Okay! But, what about the man in the bedroom?”

“Don’t worry about that, милый,” Fyodor said. “I’ll have my servants clean it up so you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about anything, okay?”

“Okay!”

Then, Fyodor carried Dazai out of the apartment and down to a car waiting for them. They sat in the back and then, the car drove off. Dazai clung to Fyodor for dear life because he was scared that Fyodor would vanish into thin air. Of course, Fyodor noticed this so he happily comforted his soulmate.

Once they arrived at the airport, Fyodor led Dazai to his private jet. “Come now, Osamu. We’ll be home in no time!”

Yawning, Dazai said: “Okay, okay!”

Fyodor chuckled at Dazai’s cuteness. He truly missed being able to dote on Dazai and now, he could do it whenever he pleased.

The two got situated on the private jet—which was basically Dazai getting comfortable on Fyodor’s lap—then, the engines of the private jet roared to life. The plane took off moments later, leaving France behind.

“Home sweet home!” Dazai sang as soon as he entered the house, which was a little queer because Dazai never stepped foot in that house before. Only in his dream, of course.

“Do you like it?” Fyodor asked. “I took the liberty of decorating our home just like that dream of yours but if there is anything you want to change, just let me know. We can go shopping together whenever you want to.”

Dazai hummed and shook his head. “No, no! It’s perfect!”

“I’m glad,” Fyodor smiled. “Now, come on. You should get some more rest.”

“Mmm, that sounds nice.”

Fyodor chuckled. He led Dazai up the stairs and to their shared bedroom. Dazai smiled at how everything looked exactly like the dream he had: fluffy white covers on the bed and a beautiful but minimalist look as the interior of every room. Dazai couldn’t help but feel his heart swell with so much joy.

Within an instant, Dazai jumped right on top of the bed, allowing himself to be overtaken by the softness of the covers. He heard soft chuckling behind him too. 

Fyodor walked to the other side of the bed and situated himself. He pulled Dazai into a warm embrace afterward. “Sleep well, милый.”

An entire week had passed with Fyodor and Dazai living happily together. The drug no longer coursed through Dazai’s veins but the effects were still in play. 

At least, until the week had ended.

Dazai happily waltzed downstairs, looking for a snack. Fyodor was in the kitchen refilling his water when all of a sudden Dazai felt a wave of dizziness. 

“Osamu!” Fyodor quickly ran to Dazai, holding the brunette’s fragile body close. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

It took a good long minute for Dazai to return to his prior state but when he did, he harshly shoved Fyodor away. 

Fear struck Dazai as he stumbled a few steps back from Fyodor, unfortunately, hitting a wall in the process. He covered his mouth too, gagging at the thought of his past actions.

“Osamu, you don’t need to feel guilty,” Fyodor said, softly smiling. “He got what he deserved.”

“Par-pardon?” Dazai glared at Fyodor because he didn’t know how else to look at the man in front of him. 

“You did what you had to,” Fyodor continued, stalking closer to Dazai, caging the brunette in. “Life is so much happier now, all thanks to you, of course.”

“Get-get away from me!” Dazai shouted. He desperately tried to push Fyodor away but his hands failed him. Instead, Fyodor grabbed ahold of Dazai’s hands, grasping them tightly.

“My dear, Osamu,” Fyodor cooed, pressing his body on his beloved’s. “You don’t have to worry anymore. You don’t have to fear anymore either. You are safe with me.”

Dazai turned his head away from Fyodor but the Russian made Dazai look back at him. Fyodor held Dazai’s chin with his free hand, squeezing his cheeks to part the brunette’s lips before shoving his tongue inside the other’s wet cavern.

“Mmm!” Dazai’s muffled protests went unheard to Fyodor as the Russian completely savored their kiss. Eventually, Dazai squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get away from the intoxicating pleasure.

Fyodor pulled away from Dazai in place of pressing kisses along the brunette’s neck. He sucked at every place he could, making the love bites he had created a while ago darker.

The hand he had used to force Dazai to look at him went to Dazai’s waist, sneaking its way to Dazai’s ass, unhesitatingly groping the flesh.

Dazai squeaked. He hated the sound that came out of his mouth so Dazai bit his bottom lip, drawing blood by accident. Honestly, he hated how good everything felt. Fyodor explored his body like he owned it. Dazai even hated how his body would shiver whenever Fyodor’s hand grazed over his body.

Eventually, Fyodor let go of Dazai’s hands in place of slipping them under Dazai’s shirt. He didn’t waste any time as he pulled and twisted both of Dazai’s nipples. He was addicted to the soft moans that slipped out of Dazai’s pretty pink lips.

But then, Fyodor stopped the pleasure he was giving Dazai. A whine left Dazai’s lips but then it was replaced by a sound of pain.

“Ouch! What was that—”

Dazai stopped mid-sentence because his vision went black and his limbs turned to jelly.

Fyodor sighed. “If I absolutely have to, I will keep you drugged for the rest of your life Osamu, but I would rather not.”

He brought Dazai into a tight hug. His mouth centimeters away from Dazai’s ear. “ You are mine , don’t ever forget that Osamu.”

Dazai furrowed his eyebrows, snuggling closer to Fyodor in the other’s warm embrace.

“But, I am yours . . . am I not?” Dazai asked.

“Yes, yes, you are and you always will be.”