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There's always a duo in a trio.
This never changes and in this case it was Ghost, Soap and me.
Well, have you ever heard that there are two duos in a five?
And as predicted, one of the duo's were Ghost and Soap. This wasn't surprising or something I should be upset about. They were a duo, they were a couple after all.
They think no one understands. But both of them have something next to their dog tags that doesn't belong there. Something that shouldn't be there, not in this line of work. Not when they both are doing the same work, not when they both are in the same Task Force, in the same barracks and in the same life.
They both have a gold ring that they don't wear. Because they can't, because it's against the rules but fuck, aren't they so lucky 'cause their captain, our captain, has a relationship with the other sergeant. Gaz, to be specific... But still they are scared to wear those rings around their fingers but not to keep them around their neck? Next to their dog tags... Next to one place those rings shouldn't be.
I am against their relationship, damn it I'm against both couples' relationships. But not because they are men or because there is an age difference, no. It's because if one of them dies, the other one won't be able to handle it. Because there is a high probability, a really high probability that one of them will see the other blown up by a bomb, shot or tortured or worse.
And they say that there are five stages of grief;
Denial,
Anger,
Bargaining,
Depression
and Acceptance. They don't want to admit it, but if Soap or Gaz dies, revenge will be at the top of the list. It will establish its throne there and will make other emotions its slaves.
I tried talking to them, trying not to reveal that both couples are in a relationship while doing that and that I know they are. But they don't listen, they don't want to. They are scared, they're scared because the chances of one of them not dying are so low that it hurts.
But what hurts the most is that this became the reality.
Soap is dead.
One bullet to the head.
It was enough.
It was enough for him to die.
And it was enough for Ghost, no, for Simon to collapse. He lost his best friend, his fiance, his everything.
Simon Riley lost his world.
Simon Riley died with that bullet too, with Soap.
And he had no family, no one to take his ashes, I even learned this fact the day we went to Scotland to scatter his ashes.
Price was first to speak.
"Who dares wins... Sleep easy, soldier."
I didn't understand his first words that day. But now I know what he meant. Because it wasn't Price who spoke at that moment.
Then Gaz spoke.
"See you down range brother. We'll take it from here."
After him, me.
"I hope you're happy where you are. Good night, Soap."
And finally, Ghost.
"Rest in peace, Johnny."
His voice cracked. Simon Riley's voice cracked.
And that was the moment I realized, Simon's ashes were scattered down that beautiful cliff along with Soap. That body was now Ghots', he wasn't Simon Riley anymore. He was just Ghost.
And I was right about one more thing too. Price's sense of revenge did not delay in establishing its throne. It wasn't even a bit late. It made John Price take that pistol, it made John Price aim that pistol at General Shepherd's face. And that emotion, it made him pull the trigger.
None of us were the same after Soap's death. Ghost became very withdrawn, Price almost never smiled, Gaz never quite recovered. And me? I left Task Force 141. Honorably discharged because of mental health. Because of depression, it wasn't just because of Soap's death, everything had its share.
And I said enough for now. I don't want to be with them anymore, I can't do this, they are no good for me.
For once I acted selfishly, for myself.
Everything felt too much for me when I was with them, maybe I should have stayed with them, but I couldn't be of any help to them in this situation.
Years later, I met with them again. But this time, not as their friend or teammate. This time I was there to be their help. In an old enemy's colors. In a Shadow Company uniform.