Archive of Our Own ^beta

Music blasts throughout the apartment as Luffy sits on the counter, laughing as he listens to Usopp’s dramatic retelling of his adventures at the grocery store. Sanji stands over the stove, focused on the stir fry, while Nami and Vivi lean against each other as they laugh along with the story.

The moment is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing, ripping Luffy’s attention away from the straw he’d been chewing on.

“Did you invite someone else?” Nami asks.

“No? I don’t think so. Everyone’s already here,” Luffy says, hopping off the counter.

Stumbling through the hallway, Luffy pulls the front door open; then immediately closes it, leaving it open just enough for him to squeeze his face through the opening to look at the man standing on his doorstep. In front of him is a man a couple of inches taller than him, dressed very clearly in a police officer’s uniform. A blue shirt and black tie peek out at the top of a zipped up leather jacket, while a black cap lays atop his head and sunglasses cover his eyes. Around his waist, Luffy can see a gun holster, a baton and handcuffs.

“Hello?” Luffy tries.

“Are you the owner of this apartment?” the cop asks.

“Uh. No? I’m just renting it.”

The cop sighs. “But you’re the person who lives here? Currently.”

“Yes. Why?”

“I need to ask you a few questions.”

“What about?” Luffy furrows his eyebrows, his face pressed between the slightly open door and the doorway.

“We’ve, uh, had some complaints.”

“Oh, is it the noise? We can keep it down!” Luffy leans his head back and turns around. “Guys! Turn the music down!”

“Booo!” Usopp yells, but someone obliges within a few seconds.

“We’re sorry, we’ll be quieter, officer! Now–” Luffy turns back to the cop, and is about to say goodnight and move to close the door when the officer’s hand grabs the side of the door, holding it open.

“I’m afraid that’s not all. I, um, need to ask more questions.”

“Uh, okay.”

It’s better to not argue with cops, right? Keep talking to a minimum, agree where necessary, run when possible – that’s what Sabo had always told him.

That being said, this guy definitely lacks that usual threatening aura that cops have. Sure, he’s tall and muscular and has a constant scowl on his face, but… Well, maybe it’s the bright green hair, or the way he keeps fumbling over his words, but something seems to be missing.

“So?” he says, raising an eyebrow. “Can I come in?”

“Um…” Luffy says, keeping his weight firmly on the other side of the door so it couldn’t open enough to let him in. “Do you have a warranty?”

“What?”

“You know? To go into places and do police stuff.”

“Oh, a warrant? Uh, yeah.”

“Oh, okay then,” Luffy concedes, opening the door for him.

The man strides into the apartment confidently, and Luffy has to jog to overtake him and lead him into the living room. He stops once they arrive, turning around towards the uninvited guest.

“So… What can I do for you, um– what’s your name?”

“Uh… Hunter,” the officer introduces himself. He looks around the room, then walks over to the dining table and picks up a chair, carrying it to the centre of the room.

“Take a seat,” Hunter says, nodding towards the chair he’d just placed.

Weird. They’d never shown this on Brooklyn 99, but then, Luffy supposed all those shows were subject to at least some kind of propaganda. So he nodded and sat down.

“Luffy? What’s happening?” Usopp asks, walking out of the kitchen. Behind him, Nami, Vivi and Sanji peek out.

“Um, he’s just–” Luffy is interrupted by the policeman gripping both of his arms and pulling them behind his back. They’re quickly locked into a pair of handcuffs, tied behind the back of the dining chair. He looks up at the cop, who is firmly staring down at him. Slowly, Hunter reaches one hand out and places it onto Luffy’s shoulder, keeping him down in place.

“What’s…?” Luffy asks.

“You’re, uh, under arrest.”

“What?!”

“For being… Uh, a bad boy?”

Luffy stares up at him for a moment, waiting for him to – maybe, elaborate on that?

Suddenly, Hunter pulls a small speaker out of his jacket pocket, and after a few clicks, upbeat music starts playing. Luffy continues staring up at him, confused – not exactly able to do much, with his hands handcuffed behind his back, but nonetheless contemplating his next move.

Hunter places one hand on Luffy’s shoulder, pushes himself back up onto his feet, and starts, of all things, dancing to the music that was playing through the speakers. Dancing was somewhat of a loose term – it was more like slowly writhing around? He reaches up towards the silver buttons of his leather jacket and slowly starts popping them. Luffy just stares at him, completely dumbfounded.

The jacket is left dumped on the floor, and Hunter reaches up and takes the cap off of his head, placing it on Luffy’s head. He then makes a move towards undoing his tie.

“Wait. You guys got me a stripper?!” Luffy laughs, finally catching up.

“I definitely didn’t?” Sanji says.

Next to him, Nami looks clearly amused, but equally surprised at the entire situation.

Hunter undoes his tie and throws it around Luffy’s neck. He moves his hips around rhythmically, only stopping to seat himself on Luffy’s lap.

“O–Oh,” Luffy manages, staring up at him.

Hunter takes a moment to run a finger underneath Luffy’s chin. He leans backwards, raising his hands to his shirt, and starts undoing buttons. Meanwhile, Sanji is left staring in utter disbelief, while the others are smiling and cheering on whatever is happening in front of them.

Luffy watches as Hunter undoes the buttons to his shirt, and, damn, those are some well-defined abs. His gaze is ripped away from the formidable build in front of him with Hunter’s hand on his chin, pulling his head up as he runs a finger underneath Luffy’s chin.

Usopp watches through his fingers, hollering and whooping nonetheless.

“Was it you?” Sanji asks, elbowing Usopp.

“What? No! It seriously wasn’t any of you?”

“It was probably just someone else Luffy knows playing a prank,” Vivi says.

Suddenly, Hunter has his back turned to Luffy – he bends his knees slightly and places himself back onto Luffy’s lap, closer to his knees this time, then slides up his legs. He feels a little heavy, but Luffy can tell Hunter is supporting most of his own weight with his legs, and, maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but he’s not sure he’d mind going out being crushed by this man.

Luffy’s hands had remained dangling at his sides for a while, unsure what to do with them – but then Hunter reaches his hands down, grabs Luffy’s hands, and places them on his own ample pecs. Which is amazing. The skin contact is gone as soon as it arrives, though, as Hunter stands back up, turns around to face Luffy, and moves his hands towards his belt.

Usopp’s hollering reaches uncomfortably high decibels, Nami raises a hand to cover her eyes, Vivi laughs so hard she doubles over, and Sanji continues to simmer with anger.

Luffy stares, eyes wide and mouth open.

Hunter’s pants come off, and the audience’s cheers and laughter roar through the apartment; Luffy can barely hear them over the sound of his own heart taking up occupancy inside his head and trying to beat its way out of one of his ears.

Suddenly, he’s in his underwear and he’s so close to Luffy’s face, and between that and the fact that Luffy was sure he was getting arrested a few minutes ago, he really doesn’t know how to react. So he sits as still as possible, leans back into the chair, and stares up at the green haired man grinding circles into the air a few centimetres away from him. It… probably should be a bit more awkward, but there’s something completely stunning about the man.

Hunter brings himself even closer, moving his crotch forwards a few times in the general direction of Luffy’s face, and then turns around, dragging his backside against his chest. Luffy’s eyes lock onto his ass, watching and feeling it move upwards against him, and feeling this crazy sense of heat flushing upwards throughout him. 

Luffy just does his best to keep himself calm the way one should keep themselves calm in front of a relative stranger.

Hunter turns around, raises a thumb to the top of his briefs; Luffy’s eyes go wide and his mouth falls open. They don’t come off, though – instead, Hunter moves back closer to Luffy, putting his legs on either side of his own and sitting on his lap again, but this time facing him. Sat on his legs, he starts grinding upwards, one hand on Luffy’s shoulder; he works his way forward until their crotches are separated only by thread, which really doesn’t do any good for Luffy’s plight.

Hunter grabs onto Luffy’s shoulders tightly, thrusts upwards against his chest a few times, and then– stops, and moves away.

The music stops, the cheering turns into howling and clapping, and Luffy remains paralysed. People (Usopp, Nami, and reluctantly, Vivi) are clapping, and Luffy is sitting there, mouth agape and brain clouded by fog.

Hunter has already moved away; he starts putting his pants back on, and Luffy watches a little too closely as he addresses his belt. He tosses his button-up shirt over his shoulders, and starts lazily going at a couple of the buttons.

“So, cash or card?” Hunter asks.

“What?” Sanji asks, blinking at him.

“For the services.”

“I tried telling you, we didn’t order a stripper. Go speak to whoever called you.”

“The guy on the phone said I’d get paid here.”

“Well, whatever. How much is it?” Nami asks.

“A hundred dollars.”

“For like, twenty minutes of work? Damn, fair play, dude,” she says.

“I don’t know if you can call that work,” Sanji says, earning them a glare from Nami and a definite upcoming lecture on the validity of certain professions.

They’re interrupted by a ringing sound from Hunter’s discarded phone.

“Are you gonna get that?” Sanji asks, nodding towards it.

He grumbles something, grabs his phone and heads towards the hallway. 

A few moments later, Hunter returns.

“I. Uh, just got a call,” he says, walking back into the living room. “The party that booked me is asking where I am.”

“I told you, you got the wrong place,” Sanji says.

“So it’s my fault all the buildings around here look the exact fucking same?”

“Did you not think to check before you knocked on the door?”

Hunter looks down at the floor sheepishly and rubs a hand across the back of his neck.

“Um,” Hunter tries. “I should probably… Go.” He makes a move to grab the rest of his clothes, put them on as quickly as possible and leave.

“Wait!”

He turns around and looks at Luffy, who is smiling at him with all but stars in his eyes.

“You should stay for a drink! Come on, it’s my birthday,” Luffy says.

“Unless you have somewhere to be?” Sanji says, a little too much hope in his voice as he does. “We understand if you need to go.”

“Um, I don’t, but–” Hunter says.

“Awesome!”

“Hey, what’s your real name?” Usopp asks. Luffy looks confused, and Usopp notices. “You didn’t think he’d use his real name while stripping? Come on, Luffy.”

“Uh, Zoro,” he says.

“I’m Luffy!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Take a seat, Zoro! What do you want to drink? Sanji’s bartending tonight!”

“He can get it himself,” Sanji says, dropping down on the couch.

Zoro does get it himself, pouring himself a couple of shots of rum into one glass and a dash of cola. He sits on the sofa in the space left between Luffy and the armrest; tries to just sit and drink and listen to the others talk, but keeps getting dragged in with a series of questions.

“So, uh, what do you do? For work,” Zoro asks, nursing his second drink.

“I’m an artist! Freelance, I do commissions and stuff,” Luffy replies.

“He draws gay cartoon porn,” Nami elaborates.

“I don’t! Well, not exactly. It’s all very tasteful,” Luffy explains. “Do you know what bara is, Zoro? It’s a genre.”

“Sure.” Zoro finishes his drink in one large sip.

“And how’d you get into stripping?” the blonde one asks, “was it like, your dream?”

Zoro rolls his eyes. “I needed a job. It just kinda happened.”

“Do you take requests?” Luffy asks, beaming at Zoro.

“What.”

“I was thinking– maybe a playboy bunny costume? Something like that?”

On one hand, Zoro should really leave. He already wasn’t getting paid for tonight thanks to the building mix-up; he should probably see if he could line up some other gig soon. But, on the other hand… Well, these people were giving him free booze and food, and, honestly, this guy was kind of cute.

“Have you ever worked at a strip club?” Usopp asks, bringing Zoro out of his thoughts.

“Yeah. I got fired for punching too many customers though.”

“How many is too many?” Usopp wonders aloud.

“That’s cool!” Luffy says, and he probably does actually think it’s cool, for some reason – the others don’t attempt to decipher why.

“Say, Zoro– have you considered hiring a manager?” Nami asks. “I think you could really maximise your earnings if you had someone in charge of organising jobs for you.”

“Don’t do it, it’s a scam!” Usopp whispers in a not-at-all-discreet way, resulting in Nami punching him softly in the arm.

The group continues their conversation; Sanji mostly remains in silence, occasionally throwing in snarky quips aimed at Zoro. Luffy doesn’t seem to notice, and, as they keep talking, he continues to lean further into Zoro.

At one point, Usopp leaves to go throw up in the bathroom, while Nami follows to take care of him. Luffy and Zoro are left, smiling at each other as Luffy rambles on, while Sanji glares daggers in their general direction.

“Zoro’s really pretty,” Luffy says eventually. “I’m jealous of the customers that get to see…”

“You got to see all of it too, remember?” Zoro replies.

“Yeah, I know. Still…”

“Luffy,” Sanji says, grabbing his arm. “I think you should get some water. Maybe some coffee?”

“I’m fine, Sanji! I stopped drinking ages ago.”

Sanji must know that’s true; everyone knows Luffy’s metabolism is freakishly fast enough that he’s probably pretty much sober by now. But Sanji’s eye still keeps twitching as they watch Luffy encroach onto the stripper’s personal space.

“So pretty,” Luffy reiterates, this time raising a hand to pinch Zoro’s cheek.

Zoro looks towards the pinched fingers on his cheek, narrows his eyes; and yet, he glances back to look Luffy in the eyes, and says: “you’re not bad yourself.”

Luffy releases Zoro’s cheek, looks away and chuckles, a slight blush crossing his cheeks. Zoro gets bold enough to reach a hand up to the back of Luffy’s head and start running his fingers through his hair.

Eventually, Nami drags Usopp – who cradles Luffy’s trash can in his hands – out of the bathroom, and sets him down on the air mattress, while Vivi brings him a glass of water.

“It’s getting late,” Sanji declares, glaring at Zoro. “Don’t you need to get home or something?”

“Zoro can stay over,” Luffy says, smiling up at him.

“Yeah? Cool,” he says, causing Sanji’s eye to twitch.

Sanji puts his drink on the coffee table with a little too much force. “Luffy. Are you thinking about what you’re doing?”

“Yeah, definitely! Why?”

“Give us a moment, mosshead.” 

Sanji stands up, grabs Luffy by the elbow, pulling him up and then dragging him into the kitchen. He makes a point of loudly closing the door behind the two of them.

“Luffy – please, try to think with this head,” Sanji says, jabbing a finger against Luffy’s forehead.

Luffy pouts at him. “Sanji,” he says, placing his hands on Sanji’s shoulders. “How old am I?”

“… Twenty.”

“Don’t you think I can make my own decisions?”

“I dunno. That guy? Really? What are you even planning on doing… Like, th–”

“Well, a whole bunch of things, honestly– depends what he’s up for.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah? Why not.”

“Well– it would be your first time, right?”

“Sanji. I’m an adult, I like someone, I think he might like me. What’s the problem?”

Sanji sighs and puts their hands up in surrender. “Okay. Sure.”

Luffy beams at them with a smile that makes them momentarily forget all about invasive plant species causing damage to their ecosystem.

By two in the morning, Usopp’s snoring bounced around the living room walls, Nami and Vivi had long since retired to the guest room, and Sanji had started slowly making their way to the sleeping bag next to Usopp, leaving Luffy and Zoro alone. 

“So… Cute,” Luffy says, dragging his index finger down Zoro’s cheek.

“Cute?” Zoro replies, one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah.”

Zoro stares at him for a moment, then laughs. Luffy smiles back at him; raises a hand and caresses it along Zoro’s cheek.

“Does Zoro wanna…” Luffy starts gesturing towards the door behind them.

“Yeah,” Zoro replies, releasing his hand into Luffy’s grasp as he reaches for it.

Sanji’s peaceful morning of doing what he can with Luffy’s shocking lack of useful ingredients is interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of things falling to the floor. He ignores it; focuses on turning a slice of french toast over – until the source of the disruption waltzes into the kitchen.

As Zoro stumbles in, Sanji makes a point of giving him a look intended to communicate utter disdain and borderline homicidal ideation. Zoro ignores it, and makes his way to the fridge. As he closes the door, he’s met with Sanji staring at him underneath furrowed eyebrows while putting another slice in the pan.

“Can I fucking help you?” Zoro asks.

“You know he’s a virgin, right?” the blonde bites out; doesn’t bother to consider whether that should be past tense. “If you did or are planning to do anythi–”

“Yeah, I know, he told me. He’s not exactly innocent, though, so what’s your point?”

“You– You don’t get it. Luffy is nice to everyone. He’s open and friendly, but if you think you’re going to be able to take advantage of him and play with him, y–”

“Oh, right, okay. Well, if you’re that into him, maybe you should’ve said something sooner.”

Sanji drops the spatula he was holding into the pan and pauses.

“I’m not… That– And why can’t you ever let me finish a fucking sentence? You… Ugh.”

“… Are you planning on finishing that sentence?”

“For the record,” Sanji manages after turning away from Zoro, rescuing the spatula from the pan, “he can do so much better than you.”

Zoro shrugs. “Well, maybe he doesn’t want to. And, for the record –” Zoro makes a point of walking over to the counter next to Sanji and staring at him. “I’m not taking advantage or whatever dumb shit you wanna make up. Luffy was very clear about what he wanted.”

That finally manages to get a reaction out of Sanji: they place the spatula down on the counter, turn towards Zoro, and raise up their right leg to kick him in the shin. Zoro reacts quickly, throwing a hand out to grab Sanji’s leg, knocking them off balance. It doesn’t take long for their tussle to be interrupted, the kitchen door swinging open to reveal the rest of the party. In the process, Sanji leaps forward and tries to knock Zoro down; he ducks and dodges the attack, then throws a punch of his own, which Sanji manages to avoid. The two find themselves knocking into Luffy in the doorway, and Zoro feels himself pushed by Sanji’s foot to his stomach.

The fight having reached the hallway, Luffy moves to step between Sanji and Zoro, while Nami and Vivi attempt to grab them from behind and pull them apart.

“It’s way too early for this much violence,” Usopp says, rubbing his forehead.

Nami locks her arms around Sanji’s to hold them back, and Sanji quickly stops their thrashing, unwilling to fight against her. Meanwhile, Luffy places his hands on Zoro’s chest, pushing him away from Sanji. 

Locked in place, Sanji switches to verbal abuse instead. “You need to get that slutty brute out of here! ”

“Oh yeah? Fucking try it, curly!” Zoro yells back, leaning around Luffy and raising a fist.

“Guys, stop!” Luffy yells, glancing between the two of them.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Nami asks as Sanji simmers down in her grasp.

“He started it!” Zoro says, pointing an accusatory finger at Sanji.

“Luffy, you didn’t actually have sex with this living algae, did you?” Sanji asks.

“Algae already is living,” Usopp says, helpfully, earning him an elbow to the side from Vivi.

“Yeah, kinda,” Luffy says, not helping appease Sanji’s wrath at all.

“Why?!”

“‘Cause we wanted to,” Luffy says with a shrug. “And it was only mouth stuff. We decided we’re gonna take things slow.”

“Luffy, you’ve done a lot of dumb shit, but this has gotta be a new low.”

“Your face is dumb shit.”

“Why can’t you try to get along? Sanji, you’re my best friend, and I wanna ask Zoro to be my boyfriend, so–”

“Luffy, you literally just met this guy,” Nami interrupts.

“I accept,” Zoro says.

“Listen to Nami, Luffy!”

“Are you such a control freak you can’t stand to let your friends make their own fucking decisions? That’s sad, y–”

“Do you guys smell burning?” Usopp interrupts.

Heads turn towards the kitchen, and six pairs of eyes watch as smoke pours out of the edges of the door.

“Oh shit, that’s a fire! Run!” Usopp yells, scrambling towards the kitchen door.

“What?! What do we do?” Luffy asks, looking around.

“Go!” Sanji yells, “call the firemen, I’ll–”

Sanji is making a move towards the kitchen door when Zoro grabs him by the back of his collar, yanking him away from the door.

“Don’t be stupid! Everyone just fucking go!”

As the group starts rushing towards the front door, Zoro suddenly finds himself being pulled to the side and pushed forcefully through a window, landing on his ass on the pavement with Luffy on top of him.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” he asks

“I panicked,” Luffy says, pushing himself up. “Is everyone okay?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Nami says. Sanji closes the front door behind themselves as everyone gathers out the front.

Zoro is just glad Luffy has a ground floor apartment.

They all sit on the pavement on the other side of the road.

Zoro’s – in Sanji’s opinion, insignificant – wounds from the fall are tended to by paramedics, and everyone watches as firemen spray extinguishers on Luffy’s apartment. It seems like there wasn’t too much damage; it was caught early enough.

As the firemen get the situation under control, Luffy, his new stripper boytoy, Nami, and Vivi congregate across the road from his apartment, watching the aftermath. Sanji sits on a bench a few metres away, moping while chewing on an unlit cigarette.

They’re found by Usopp.

“Scared of starting another fire?” Usopp says, gesturing to the unlit cigarette.

“Big words from Vomit Man.”

“You wanna talk about what’s up with you?”

Sanji stares up at him. “What? Nothing.”

“Uh, sure. Wanna try the truth, now?”

“It’s just…” Sanji glares to the corner of his eye towards where Luffy and Zoro are sitting.

“Ugh. I dunno. I just don’t like that guy.”

“Oh, right. It’s totally all about you not liking Zoro. Definitely nothing to do with your massive crush on Luffy.”

“That’s not– I don’t! It’s…”

Usopp stares right through them.

Sanji sighs. “I don’t even– Like, I’m not even into Luffy like that anymore. It just kind of stings that… Well, he never even noticed me in that way. And I know it’s shitty, but I guess I convinced myself that he just wasn’t interested in dating at all. Then this fucking guy shows up, and suddenly…”

“Well, some people can’t see what’s right in front of them,” Usopp says.

“Yeah, Luffy can be stupid like that.”

“Yeah. Luffy.” Usopp nods.

“And why that guy? If it was any of my friends going after someone like that, I’d be mad about it too.”

“Well, some people are into stupid people.”

Sanji snorts. “Yeah, and that’s not exactly surprising coming from Luffy, but…”

“Look, Sanji,” Usopp says, slapping a hand on Sanji’s shoulder. “I know you’ve got good intentions. But… You two weren’t meant to be. Luffy was always going to move forwards with his life eventually. Maybe you should too.”

Sanji stares at Usopp, silently. He sighs, and then nods.

“You’re all good to go back in!” one of the firemen yells out. “Just be careful.”

Luffy is the first to get up and run back in, Zoro following him closely. Usopp stretches out a hand towards Sanji to help him up; Sanji takes it, and the two follow their friends as they re-enter the apartment one by one.

As Sanji walks in, he sees Luffy and Zoro both taking forks to the pan filled with their charcoaled attempt at breakfast. There… Has to be fire extinguisher chemicals on that? Right?

“Are you two… Eating the burnt food?” Nami asks.

“Don’t wanna waste food,” Zoro says through a mouthful, while Luffy nods.

Maybe – maybe – Sanji can deal.

Because Zoro apparently has surprisingly little dignity when his boyfriend is involved, he shows up at Luffy’s place several hours before the party. He slides the key into the door and pushes it open; lets himself in, leaves his shoes by the door, and heads towards the bedroom. The apartment is empty, but Luffy should be back any minute now, so he can’t take his time if he wants this to work. He beelines for Luffy’s bedroom, stepping over the piles of laundry and other discarded nonsense, and heads for the bed.

Zoro dumps his backpack on the bed, unzips it and stares at the contents at the top. In his line of work, he’s worn some pretty stupid get-ups, but this one definitely takes the cake. It was actually ridiculously easy to find such a thing in his size – along with several other outfits of a similar nature that he wouldn’t be needing, and definitely wouldn’t be telling Luffy about, lest he get any ideas.

With a dramatic sigh, he pulls the costume out and stares at it. Turns it around – it has a tail attached on the back, because of course it does.

Accepting his fate, Zoro strips out of his t-shirt and sweatpants, then his underwear. He picks up the costume, wonders if it’ll actually fit, but manages to slide it on pretty easily, the fabric stretching. To be honest, it was pretty well made. He struggles a little to do the zip at the back up, then reaches for the cuffs and the bowtie collar from his bag. A pair of thigh-high fishnets lay on the bed, and Zoro could easily hide them and pretend they never existed, but he’s nothing if not committed, damn it, so he puts them on. Finally, Zoro picks up the headband, staring at the ridiculous black bunny ears for a moment, wondering if it’s truly worth it. He hears the front door opening, and, yeah, okay, it probably is worth it.

“Zoro? Are you here?” Luffy’s voice comes from the living room. Zoro hears him start opening the bedroom door. “I saw y– Oh.”

Luffy stops in the doorway, doorknob still in hand, staring.

“Happy birthday, Luffy,” Zoro says, looking up at Luffy from where he’s sat on the bed.

“Is this… real? Am I dreaming?”

Luffy just stands there, raking his eyes up and down. Zoro is sat on the end of his bed, dressed in a tuxedo bunny costume, which covers his torso, and… No, that’s it. Around his neck is a collar with a bow tie, and matching cuffs around his wrists. And he’s wearing a bunny ear headband.

Luffy recovers from his stupor, drops his bag and runs over towards Zoro. He climbs onto his lap, placing both his hands either side of Zoro’s face.

“Zoro looks so good,” Luffy says, and looks like he’s about to start drooling.

Zoro just places a hand on the back of Luffy’s head and brings him in for a kiss. Luffy leans in, kissing him back straight away. Luffy grabs Zoro’s shoulder, pushing himself back and looking Zoro up and down again.

“Just… Wow,” Luffy elaborates.

“Happy?”

“Yeah. Happy.” Luffy’s eyes stare at the top of Zoro’s pecs, peeking out over the top of the costume, as he raises a hand to run along them. Then, suddenly: “Oh– no, we have the party–”

“That’s hours away,” Zoro says, running a hand along Luffy’s cheek. “We’ve got time.”

“I dunno… I don’t know if I can ever leave this Zoro alone.”

Zoro rolls his eyes, and Luffy dives back in to plant a series of kisses along his jawline and neck.

“Hey, you know…” Luffy says, slowly getting his breath back. “I said that as a joke.”

“What?” Zoro manages hoarsely.

“The costume thing.” Luffy chuckles. “I was just… Thinking of something to say, it wasn’t really a thing I was super into, just–”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“No, no! It’s super hot. I’m so into Zoro dressed like that. But did you think I had a thing specifically for playboy bunny men? That’s so funny.”

“Well, I don’t know, I’ve seen your art – a lot of buff men in varying slutty outfits.”

“Yeah, but nothing specific, though. I’m into a whole bunch of things. Actually–”

Zoro sighs. “Whatever it is, you’re paying for the outfit next time.”

Luffy shows up to his 21st birthday party wearing a pair of bunny ears and a huge grin on his face.