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His face is pressed into Cody’s damp shirt, and the other’s hand is twirling the locks of his wet, clumpy hair. The two were in an embrace that neither dared to break, which had started becoming a nighttime habit since the start of their relationship. A private and intimate time nobody else would even dare to intrude on.
The sky above was dark like ink, stars speckled all across its vastness in such pretty arrays, it could've been considered something to behold for two boys who lived in light-polluted areas, but the beauty lost its revere a long time ago and only left a deeper pit of homesickness for anyone who looked up to them.
He heard Cody make a light hum, breaking the silence of the night.
“I love you.”
Oh,
The words fall from his mouth with ease, such a simple fact.
“I know.” He chokes out.
He felt the hand that had been combing through his hair stop and twirl a lock, squeezing the water out of it. The silence gained an uncomfortable weight.
“..Sorry I never said it when..you know..” Cody trails off with a light shrug, resuming to tousle Noah’s hair, the other arm shifts slightly, trying to adjust his hold of Noah with no hand to help.
How can he say it so dismissively, and why was he the one apologizing? Cody was the one hurt, he shouldn’t have to apologize for anything.
Noah was the one who should apologize, his stupidity and stubbornness was what caused this. Cody should be yelling at him asking why he kept instigating, why didn’t he just back down? How he let his pride drag them both down this pit, this cold, cold pit of hell.
And yet, he sinks further into the embrace, pressing his face deeper into Cody’s wet shirt knowing the frigid water that never stops dripping from his body would continue to seep deeper and deeper. Maybe it would wash away the blood and dirt that already embedded itself into the fabric. Or maybe it would simply freeze Cody in place, leaving the poor boy shivering like Noah himself when it drips into the dark hole in his chest.
God, selfish. Such a selfish person he is.
He hated being cold as a child, so he would go and steal his siblings' blankets when they weren't in their rooms and never even got in trouble, even when caught his Mom would simply just give him extras from their storage. And he would be warm when he slept.
But blankets couldn't compare to a heart. There was no way to return something that had already been lost. He left the boy he loves cold and suffering due to his selfishness and even now he continues to let his selfish wants hurt that boy further.
And yet.
Cody still clung, just like he did to Cody.
Neither of them had ever liked the cold, yet Cody allowed the water to seep, knowing it would only make him worse.
“...Noah?”
And Noah still allowed himself to be loved, even when he knew he did not deserve to be.
So he finds his voice, hoarse and bruised as it’s already been for well over a week now. And he manages to speak with only a light waver in his voice.
“I love you too.”