Chapter Text
Making it to a World Cup semi-final, the first Australians to make it to a World Cup semi-final was amazing. It was even better that after she'd done it, after all the pain, after one hundred and twenty minutes and the most stressful penalty shoot-out of her life. Even better was having Lissa back in her arms. Ellie knew she missed her but she hadn't realised quite how much until that moment when she lifted her out of the crowd and over the barrier not long after the whistle and Lissa wrapped around her. She wasn't just wearing her shirt but it seemed like her dad had gotten to her with the face paint too. A month was too long. It was just too long.
Ellie squeezed her tightly and Lissa's head was buried in her neck. "I missed you so much," she whispered to her, kissing the side of her neck. She hadn't actually managed to say anything for the first minute. All the emotions had hit her like a tonne of bricks from the whole day.
"I missed you too Ellie," Lissa's voice broke as she spoke and Ellie leaned back to look her in the eye.
"Hey," she laughed, lifting Lissa's face off her shoulder. "I can't have you ruining that face paint," she joked, wiping her eyes.
"I don't know why I'm crying," Lissa wiped her own cheeks, clearly frustrated with herself.
Ellie smiled, "It's okay," she ran her hand through her hair and kissed her cheek, "It's been a long day."
Lissa nodded and moved to bury her face in her shoulder again. "Okay," Ellie adjusted her a little so she sat more on her hip and looked into the crowd to find the rest of her family. She saw her dad first, he was easy to find, but Daan was the person she made eye contact with. Her eyes clearly hadn't left her and Lissa.
Ellie blew her a kiss and Daan blew one back. She beckoned her down but Daan shook her head. Ellie understood. It didn't really make sense for her to come on the pitch. She went over to one of the members of staff and asked them to make sure that Daan was allowed into the corridors after everything so she could see her as soon as possible.
Lissa refused to let go. They did a lap of the pitch and she stayed firmly attached to her. She wasn't light after a while but Ellie was never going to complain. She came out of her shell a bit, not talking to the French players because they'd disappeared to quickly, but letting Ellie introduce her to her teammates. The only inconvenient part was that she stayed on her hip as Ellie had to make her way into media. "Can you hold my hand instead?" Ellie negotiated, "Just so I can talk to the media, you know like you usually do."
It took her a minute but she decided that it was acceptable and let Ellie put her down, taking hold of her hand tightly. Ellie pressed a kiss to the top of her head and ran her hand through her hair before looking to the team member telling them where to go that day. She had Optus first.
"Wow, you're looking very Australian," the interviewer looked down at Lissa first, "Whose this?" he looked up at Ellie when Lissa hid her face shyly.
"Lissa, my girlfriend's daughter," Ellie explained, "She flew from New Zealand last night and I haven't seen her for about a month so I missed her a lot," she smiled, moving her arm to wrap around Lissa.
"Does she speak English?" he asked.
"And Dutch and French," she answered with that slight Australian accent she'd started to pick up. Ellie thought it was all the Steve Irwin that they watched. "Because I am Dutch but I lived in London and now Lyon," Lissa went on, "Because my mum played for Arsenal and now Lyon but she's Dutch."
"But you're dressed all Australian?" he crouched down to Lissa's height, "I love the face paint."
"I think we've all seen my dad now," Ellie laughed, "This is pretty tame."
"And my Ellie's Australian!" Lissa added proudly, "Look," she took her hand out of Ellie's and spun around to show him her shirt with Ellie's name and number on the back.
"Looking very good," he smiled, "The green and gold suits you," he commented.
"Thank you," Lissa smiled.
"Right," he told her, "I've now unfortunately got to ask Ellie the boring questions about how she thought the game went," he stood up and smiled at her.
"Should I just recap the media rehearsed spiel for you or do you want to ask me a question?" she joked.
He laughed and answered a couple of questions before they moved on to Ten. Lissa was very much feeling a lot more confident, her hand still in Ellie's but her grip not as tight as she answered all the journalist's questions. "Can I ask her one?" she asked after they'd been over the match.
Ellie looked down at Lissa who smiled and nodded. "Okay," the journalist held the microphone out to Lissa's height, "You're obviously a little bit of an expert, you live in France, you've lived in England and you've clearly got good taste with the green and gold," she smiled, "So which do you think is better: England, France or Australia?"
"Australia," Lissa answered without a second thought.
The journalist smiled, "What if I added Holland?"
"The Netherlands," Lissa corrected, "Holland is part of the Netherlands."
"I'm sorry, the Netherlands," the journalist corrected herself, "Which is better Australia or the Netherlands?"
"Australia," Lissa answered very quickly again and Ellie had to hide her laugh as the journalist looked completely shocked.
"Why do you say that?" she asked.
"Sharks and crocodiles and snakes and lizards," Lissa shrugged.
The journalist laughed, "That's normally a reason people aren't really a fan."
"Yeah only because they get a bad rep," Lissa sighed, "They are literally the best things in the world, you know, the Netherlands have four native lizards, only four and one is called a slow worm and Australia has so many. The Netherlands only has a few snakes and most of them are like grass snakes. Australia is hogging all the best animals, I love it here, me and my Ellie watch Steve Irwin all the time and I was really sad when they said the Dutch team would have to be in New Zealand because I wanted to come to Australia again."
The journalist laughed, "So have we converted you?"
"Of course," Lissa smiled, "You have sharks and crocodiles."
"Well, we're very happy to have you," the journalist smiled at her. Ellie smiled proudly, wrapping an arm around Lissa and squeezing her softly. She always got a little angry when someone suggested lizards, snakes, sharks and crocodiles were anything other than something amazing. She had one more interview, they didn't ask Lissa anything, and then they were through media and Ellie could see Daan waiting.
"Hey, Lissa, someone gave her a crocodile toy if you want it," Mackenzie poked her head around the changing room door.
"Yes please," Lissa sprinted away from her and into the changing room.
Ellie ran into Daan's arms, picking her up a little bit. "I missed you," she whispered.
"I missed you too, schat," Daan leaned back and kissed her softly, "So much," she murmured against her lips before she leaned back, holding her face and looking her in the eyes, "I'm so proud of you," she told her sincerely, "You played so well today, honestly, so so well, you deserved this and that win so much and that penalty, you hit it perfectly," she smiled.
"Thank you," Ellie took a deep breath, it was just easier to breathe with Daan around her. Her whole body felt more relaxed.
"Ik hou van je (I love you)," Daan told her.
"I love you too," Ellie murmured, kissing her again.
"Mamma! Ellie! Mamma! Ellie!" Lissa shouted and they both turned around as she walked out of the changing room waving her new toy.
Tony told her very sincerely that they could both come and visit outside of visiting hours but they went back to their hotel. They had all their things there. They visited throughout the next week, though, in the build-up to their England game. The England game didn't go so well though. It was her fault too. That mistake replayed in her head on repeat. They could've done it, they could've made the final but she went and fucked it all up for them, for her country, for the eighty-three thousand fans in the stadium.
"Mamma said to say 'stop thinking about it'," Lissa appeared in front of her out of nowhere.
Ellie lifted her head from between her knees and pulled her into a hug. "She also said you played really well," Lissa focused hard as she spoke into her ear, "And that it's not your fault, the team missed chances and there were ten other players on the pitch and that you can't blame yourself," Lissa recounted and smiled at Ellie proudly.
She felt herself relax a little as she looked up into the crowd over Lissa's shoulder and she saw Daan. "Listen to her," she mouthed and Ellie could only laugh, shaking her head at her girlfriend.
Ellie leaned back and looked Lissa in the eye, "Ik houd zo veel van je, kid (I love you so much, kid)," she told her. She'd told Lissa that for quite a while now. Lissa never said anything back but she needed her to know how loved she was.
Lissa thought for a second before throwing herself into her arms. Ellie hugged her tightly, rubbing her back and lifting her up to stand up and join the walk around the stadium to clap their fans with Lissa in her arms. She looked up at Daan who smiled brightly at her. Lissa was a new favourite of their fans. Her interview had gone viral much to the annoyance of the Dutch team and Daan but Ellie needed credit for bringing her over to the Aussies. She managed to collect quite a few soft toys from the fans on their lap. A collection of snakes and lizards and crocodiles and sharks that Lissa was very proud of and Ellie found herself carrying. It was very hard to feel sorry for herself with all the stuffed toys that Lissa kept handing her. It was also making it very difficult to clap.
Daan was waiting for her backstage and their security team took the stuffed toys. "We're going to just check them all," they explained to Lissa, "You can come with us," they offered.
Ellie just collapsed into Daan's arms and let herself feel everything. Daan was the one who took her phone and turned off everything. She knew there was hate, people were talking about it but Daan didn't let her see it, she couldn't google herself, news notifications for the Matildas didn't come up, she temporarily deleted all social media and she just made her phone manageable. She knew there was hate but Daan wouldn't let her see it. She and Lissa stayed that night. Lissa was in an adjourning room the team set up last minute and Ellie just collapsed.
"Is it a good time to say that winning a bronze medal is a hundred times better than fighting it out against Spain?" Daan kissed her cheek the next morning as she washed her face, "Trust me, that silver sucks and the loss hurts but just go for that bronze, I know you're replaying it again and again and again but that mistake doesn't define you, I know you guys can beat Sweden, you can, they haven't had the best tournament, they haven't been the strongest, you just need to do and you can't if you let this loss define you, it's not who you are," Daan gave her a very impassioned speech.
“I’m a defender and I didn’t defend,” Ellie sighed, “I’m not sure what you want me to do.”
“You’re not only a defender,” Daan told her.
“You’re Ellie!” Lissa appeared behind her, “You’re funny and you play with me and do a really good dinosaur impression and you watch Steve Irwin with me and go swimming with me and build Lego with me and you make my mamma really really happy and you read me books and you brush my hair and you take me to school and help me with my homework even when you find it hard and I get to tell my friends about how cool you are and they think you are really cool and I like that.”
Ellie stared at Lissa, “Okay, you need to stop training her to make those speeches,” she looked up at Daan.
“I didn’t do that one,” Daan held her hands up in surrender.
“Thank you, kiddo,” she smiled at Lissa, pulling her into a hug.
Pull the team together. Ellie gave a little bit of a similar speech to the deflated team in training the next day. Her phone switched off and Daan in her ear made it easier to pull herself together. Daan and Lissa wouldn’t let her think about it. It was like Daan could read her mind half the time. She’d been there before and she knew better than her how to handle it. Focus on Sweden, it was still a medal. Their first medal.
Ellie centred herself before the game in the changing room. They were in Brisbane, the Suncorp Stadium. It was different but the same. “Ellie,” Tony’s voice dragged her out of her thoughts, “You’ve got a visitor.”
She looked up to see Lissa, “I’m your mascot,” she smiled brightly. The face paint on her face had been toned down, just a few stars from the flag around one eye.
“You’ve never been a mascot,” Ellie tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I know,” Lissa smiled, “But I wanted to see you and talk to you before the match.”
Ellie pulled her into a hug, “You don’t have to walk out if you don’t want to,” she reminded her.
“I know,” she nodded, “Mamma said so. I want to.” She leaned closer to whisper in her ear, “Also I have something really important to tell you.”
“What is it?” Ellie whispered back.
Lissa moved closer, cupping her hand around her ear, “I love you, Ellie,” she whispered.
Ellie just froze. That wasn’t what she expected Lissa to tell her. For the first time, as well. “I love you too, Lissa,” she told her quickly, hugging her tightly and trying to keep herself together, taking a deep breath.
“Mamma told me to give you this too,” Lissa passed her a piece of paper. Ellie kept her arms around Lissa as she unfolded the note.
She’s been thinking about telling you for so long. She seriously means it, we both love you so much and we’ll be proud of you no matter how it goes. Just go out there and play like you always do and you’ll be amazing.
Love you,
Daan
“I love you so much,” Ellie told Lissa again, leaving the note where she could find it at halftime if she needed it.
Lissa knew what she needed to do as a mascot perfectly. Ellie held her back and gave her an extra little hug before she pulled herself into focus and joined the team photo. She could see Lissa running down the tunnel, she knew where she was going into the stands. “Are you okay?” Mini checked as she joined the group.
“Yeah,” Ellie nodded, “We’ve got this,” she smiled confidently.
Everything melted away at the opening whistle. What Lissa told her dominated her mind, nothing else, just that and it didn’t really matter to her how this match went to an extent. She had her family. She made the clearance from Mackenzie’s save and she knew she could do this. They could do this.
She just did what she knew how to do. Overlapping run with Caitlin to cross the ball into the box and Raso. She curled it beautifully into the centre of the goal, just past Mušcović who expected the ball from elsewhere. Ellie jumped on top of Caitlin in celebration. They’d scored.
“Let’s keep it going girls,” Sam clapped in the huddle as they celebrated, “Tight at the back, quick on the counter.”
Sweden equalised with a penalty but that wasn’t the end of the world. They’d scored once, they could do it again. They went into halftime with the score at one goal each. Tony gave them the speech and Ellie glanced at the note. They knew what to do. They knew they could do it. The entire stadium, the entire country was behind them. They were so loud.
It was equal with a lot of saves and a lot of clearances. Ellie was dreading another one hundred and twenty minutes as the clock ticked into the eightieth minute. She took the ball back from Hurtig routinely, and her forward movement was cut off so she just rolled it back to Arnold, it felt too conservative. They were trying to win and they were just keeping the ball at the back. She looked forward, Mušcović was out of her goal a little. Sam had three on her and it just left Cortnee open.
She pointed it out to Alanna quietly and she sent it back to Mackenzie and sent it flying over the top. Thankfully, Cortnee and Sam got what they were trying to do. Sam dragged three defenders out of position, Mušcović raced back to get off her line but Cortnee took it the first time on her first touch, chipping Mušcović and the ball shook the back of the net. Ellie ran to Mackenzie first and Alanna dived on her back as they celebrated. They just had to keep it now. They were ahead. They could do this. A medal was in sight after so long. They just needed to keep the ball, not give Sweden a chance.
Lissa sat on Scott’s shoulders as they waited for the final whistle. The person in front of her was blocking her view so he’d picked her up. Her heart was beating so fast. She really wanted her Ellie to win. Lissa knew how happy it would make her and she wanted Ellie to be happy. The whistle came and everyone around her jumped up and down. It felt like the whole stadium had erupted. It was so loud.
It took a long time for them to give the medals out but everyone was celebrating, no one left and they were all singing along to the songs. They moved closer to the pitch. She went over the barrier first when Ellie came over to them. Scott lifted her up and she was passed over a lot of people to Ellie. “You played really well!” she told her. Her mamma had said Ellie was the reason that Australia had scored a goal.
“Thank you,” Ellie squeezed her tightly before she put her down and took her medal off, hanging it around her neck.
“It’s yours,” Lissa tried to give it back to her. It wasn’t hers, Ellie had won it.
“I need you to look after it for me,” Ellie told her, running her hand through her hair a little. Lissa stared down at it. It was a pretty cool medal.
“Lissa!” Mini got her attention. Ellie said that wasn’t her medal name but everybody called her that. She turned to face her. She was holding a hand out to help her over the barrier. “Can you come be in a photo?” she asked. Lissa looked over at Ellie. Her mamma had made it out of the stands too. “Hey, can I steal Lissa?” Mini asked them.
Her mamma looked over at her, seeing what she wanted to do, Lissa nodded and then she nodded and Mini helped her over the barrier. She wanted her to take a photo with Harper and Harley. They were also wearing medals. They were a lot younger than her so she crouched a little so she was at the right height. She knew all of the Australian team now. She liked them a lot and their food at the hotel was better than the Dutch food.
She kicked a ball with Harley and Harper while the adults all talked and celebrated. Lissa never really liked playing football but she was happy to play with Harley and Harper. Kyra also came to play with them. She was like a big kid, Lissa decided. Ellie said she was an adult but Lissa wasn’t sure. She didn’t seem responsible like her Mamma said adults were meant to be.
“Do you need saving?” she felt Ellie lift her off the ground as she watched Harper and Harley chase after the ball, “I know you don’t find it fun,” she smiled.
“Yes,” Lissa hugged her tightly. She was so happy. She’d been sad for a week and Lissa was so happy that she was happy again. It wasn’t as fun when her Ellie was sad. “I looked after your medal,” Lissa held it up for her.
“Keep looking after it,” Ellie smiled, kissing her forehead, “But it might need to be shared for some photos,” she explained as they walked over towards her mamma and all Ellie’s family.
Everyone wanted a photo with the medal. Lissa was happy to share it, it was Ellie’s after all. She was just looking after it for her. There was a lot of loud music and partying but she had to go to bed. She was trying to stay awake but it was late. She still wanted to prove to her mamma that her bedtime didn’t really matter, though.
She climbed into the big bed that her mamma said she could sleep in. She was explaining how the monitor worked again but Lissa already knew how it worked. They used it every camp. Thankfully, Ellie walked in to save her. “Is she asleep yet?” she whispered and her voice sounded really croaky.
“I’m awake,” Lissa smiled, sitting up a little to look over at Ellie, holding her arms out for her. She wanted a hug before bed. Ellie collapsed on the bed next to her and pulled her into a hug. Lissa smiled, picking up the medal she was wearing again and looking at it. “Mamma,” she looked over at her when she didn’t lie down with them. She was meant to.
“Sorry,” her mamma laughed, joining the hug. Lissa didn’t remember anything after that.
It took a little too long to extract Ellie from Lissa’s grip. They abandoned the medal with her and contemplated abandoning her shirt before making their way downstairs. Daan slipped the baby monitor into her pocket. It was still the best way that she’d found to make sure that she wasn’t camped out in a hotel room all evening while Lissa slept and it was still the same baby monitor that she’d gotten when she was pregnant with her.
Ellie was so happy. It’s everything that she wanted to see after they crashed out early. Viv out with injury hadn’t helped. She also felt a little jealous. Her silver medal was supposedly better than this one but it felt so much worse. So much worse. She just let herself be in the moment with Ellie. Ellie wrapped her arms around her as the music blared across the room, the alcohol was flowing but Daan wasn’t drinking. Ellie wasn’t the same.
“Hey,” Daan smiled, turning her head to look up at her, “You doing okay there?” she laughed.
“I’m very good,” Ellie smiled, kissing her cheek, “You know Lissa told me she loved me.”
Daan laughed, turning fully in her arms to look her in the eye, “She’s spent two weeks talking to me about doing it.”
Ellie thought for a second before she leaned closer and whispered to her, “I think it felt better than the medal.”