Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Tadashi, can I…can I ask you something?”

Cindereki wasn’t even looking him in the eye. In fact, he was looking away with an alarming shade of red across his cheeks, holding the hem of his apron tight enough to fray it further. Tadashi wondered why he still insisted on wearing those old clothes; he knew for a fact that plenty of tailors had been sent to his room.

“What can I help you with?” Tadashi asked.

“Well…um…you see…” Cindereki’s voice trailed off. He stopped playing with his hem and touched the small ring around his finger. When he spoke again, his voice was almost too quiet to hear.

“The wedding’s soon, right?”

Tadashi nodded. “In a week. In fact, I’ve been asked to…urge you to please allow the dressmaker to finalize the fittings on your wedding dress. She’s in quite a state that it’s not done yet.”

“Right.” Cindereki winced. “I’ll do that.” Silence.

“Is that all?” Tadashi prompted.

Cindereki opened his mouth and closed it again a number of times. Tadashi stopped counting after three. “I’m…supposed to…the night of the wedding…well…we have to c-consummate….”

In a flash, Tadashi both understood and shared Cindereki’s discomfort. “…Ah. Yes. That is the way of things.”

“What kind of girls…has Prince Langa been with before?”

“I assure you, I have no idea. But you should know he’s never looked at any of them the way he looks at you.”

Rather than lift his spirits, the comment seemed to deflate Cindereki wholeheartedly. “But…I don’t know how to do…stuff.”

Tadashi blinked and ran through the possibilities of what that could mean. Had he never slept with anyone before? Had a crush? “Handled” himself? Had a single lewd thought?

“Your mother never told you?”

“Stepmother,” Cindereki corrected miserably. “And no, she never found the time in between yelling at me.” He said it with a slight smile, but Tadashi frowned inwardly.

“Well, it’s really quite easy.” As soon as he said it, he realized that it really explained nothing at all. Intimacy was easy for Tadashi, in that he snuck away to Lord Adam’s manor every week and let him do absolutely anything he wanted to Tadashi’s body. It was meaningful in a way that only they shared, and explaining it to anyone else would surely sound like insanity.

Tadashi would have to put himself back in the mind of a confused young adult with no idea what they wanted or even liked.

“Come meet me in the library tonight after dinner,” Tadashi said, his mind already working. “I will teach you all I know.”

Finally, Cindereki’s face lit up and he stood up straight. “Thank you, Tadashi!” he said, and jumped forward to embrace the man in a hug.

Tadashi returned it with some difficulty, hoping that nobody was around to see. Last thing he—or Cindereki or the prince—needed was any type of scandal or gossip.

“I’ll meet you tonight,” Cindereki said, turning to go.

“Go to the dressmaker,” Tadashi called after him, and Cindereki turned back with a grimace to give him an affirmative wave.

“Tadashi, can I ask you something?”

Tadashi briefly looked up from his desk, buried under days and days of unanswered mail. He was admittedly alarmed to see Prince Langa standing there, looking like a lost puppy. It was rare for the prince to seek him out, and this was the first time Langa had ever entered Tadashi’s office.

“Your Highness,” Tadashi said, getting to his feet to offer a small bow. Langa made an idle hand gesture to tell him to sit back down, then plopped himself down in the visitors’ chair across from the desk.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Tadashi asked.

Langa stared around the room with a deep red flush creeping up his neck. “Um…” he said at length. His voice was quieter than usual. “The…I’m going to be married soon.”

“So you are. I finished reviewing the guest list last week. So far, everyone has gladly confirmed their attendance.”

Langa nodded. “Right, yes. Uh…is the food settled then, too?”

“It is.” A strange pause passed between them.

Tadashi gently cleared his throat. “Are there any other wedding matters I can set your mind at ease about, Your Highness?”

“I don’t know how to….” Langa’s blush grew hotter and deeper. “I’m supposed to…you know, after….”

The realization hit Tadashi like a punch to the face. “Um…” he stammered. Cindereki asking was one thing, but this was the prince. Never mind the fact that he’d known Langa since he was a child. Surely this wasn’t appropriate for Tadashi to advise on.

“I, um…have you…your mother?” Tadashi offered, but the wild-eyed look Langa gave him made him wince.

“Absolutely not!” Langa said as he shook his head furiously. “That’s…way too embarrassing. Please, Tadashi. You’re the only one I can ask. Everyone else thinks I always know what I’m doing, but I haven’t slept in three days. I can barely eat. Please, I’m so…I don’t know how.”

Tadashi took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. “Have you spoken to Cindereki about this? He may appreciate the honesty.”

Langa seemed to deflate. “I keep losing my nerve. I don’t want him to think I’m going to ruin the whole thing.”

“Well…I’m afraid communication is the most important thing in matters like this.”

“I’m going to communicate!” Langa said, almost indignantly. “I just…I promise I’m going to talk to him. I’m just…it’s the kind of…I mean, how does it work?”

“How does what work?”

“All of it. You know. How do I know where to put my…and like, I don’t want to hurt him but….”

“I see!” Tadashi said, cutting Langa off before he could go any further. “Well, that’s…easy enough to explain! But, um…well, as you can see, I’m a little busy at the present moment.”

Langa’s sad puppy expression took over again, and he simply stared at the floor and nodded.

Tadashi continued, “I’ll have time tomorrow, however. Come meet me here after dinner. I’ll explain everything, Your Highness.”

That seemed to perk Langa up, and he smiled. “Okay. Thank you, Tadashi.”

If this whole situation wasn’t so nerve-wracking, Tadashi would have found it hilarious. He sat in an armchair in an isolated section of the library as Cindereki, the prince’s fiancé, sat across from him trying to melt into the floor.

It seemed to go without saying that Tadashi couldn’t let on what either of them told him in confidence. As much as he might like to throw them both in a room together and tell them to talk it out, he had his doubts as to how much that would actually help. So here he was, about to do his duty to the kingdom in whatever way he could.

“So,” Tadashi said to break the tense silence. “What questions do you have?”

Cindereki flashed him a nervous smile. “All of them?”

“Let’s start with the basics.” Tadashi pulled out a small book, more of a manual, and pushed it across the table to him. “This is an anatomy handbook, with a focus on, well…the parts you’re asking about.”

Cindereki took it tentatively and flipped through a few pages. The more pages he went past, the more discouraged he appeared. “This is all boy and girl stuff,” he lamented. “You know I don’t have….”

“Keep going,” Tadashi urged gently.

About halfway through, the discouraged look began to fade. “Oh…” Cindereki said. “This is two men.”

Tadashi nodded. “It doesn’t matter what parts you have, Cindereki. Anyone can share intimacy, and there’s infinite ways to do it.”

“Infinite…” Cindereki repeated, a small smile appearing on his face. Like he was remembering some conversation from long ago. “Which of these do you think Langa would like best?”

“That’s…really something you should ask him.”

“But I have to do it right,” Cindereki insisted. “I don’t want him to…you know, throw me out because I can’t do this stuff.”

“Put it out of your mind. That’s the last thing you need to worry about.”

“But which of these things should I do for him?” Cindereki held up the book. It was open to a page with a diagram of two men laying on their sides, heads at opposite ends, with their cocks in each other’s mouths. “Like, is this a good one? Or should I not ask him to do that to me, is that beneath a prince?”

Tadashi closed his eyes. Lord help him be patient with this boy. “I think you’re approaching this the wrong way.”

Cindereki set the book down in his lap and looked even more lost than before. “But there has to be a right way to do this. I have to be a good wife.”

“You will be,” Tadashi assured him. “But you must think of yourself as well.”

Cindereki frowned. “What do you mean?”

“All of these pictures—” Tadashi gestured at the book “—how many people are in them?”

“Two?”

“Right. It’s not just about one person’s pleasure. That’s the beauty of it. If you just wanted to feel something on your own, there are ways to do that. But that’s not this. It’s about finding the way you’ll both feel good.”

Cindereki blinked and looked back down at the book. “I guess that makes sense…seems like something I won’t get right on the first try, though.”

Tadashi shrugged. “Maybe not. But you two will be married for the rest of your lives. You’ll only get better at it.”

He watched Cindereki flip through the book some more, and he could practically hear the gears turning in his head. They were both silent for a long time as Tadashi wrestled with the next question in his mind.

He cleared his throat. “Have you…ever done anything on your own?”

Cindereki blushed a frighteningly deep red but didn’t look up. “I mean…sure. A little.” He paused. “Usually after a long day. To calm down a little.”

Tadashi couldn’t help but chuckle. “I can understand that.”

Cindereki shut the book and held it close to his chest. “Can I…is it okay if I borrow this? I’ll give it back.”

“Of course. I brought it here for you. I also want you to remember that you don’t have to do everything perfectly on your first night. You will have other nights. Anniversary nights, birthday nights, nights that are just normal nights. And one night you’ll realize that you know his body as well as you know your own, and he knows yours in the same way. You’ll know what to do without thinking, and it’ll be like a type of home to you.”

Tadashi would never speak of his own feelings to anyone else like this. Part of him felt like a hypocrite, for he had never admitted as much to the man who made him feel this way. If he could let a young person learn from him, in whatever way possible, that was as good a reason as any to finally be honest.

Cindereki looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you, Tadashi. I’m…I’ll try my best.”

“Just make sure you talk to him and you’ll be fine.”

“I will. I promise.”

Tadashi had hoped that having one conversation would make the second easier. And yet, talking to Prince Langa was somehow even harder. It wasn’t the fact that he knew the prince better or had seen him grow up. It was Langa’s extreme, absolutely devastating bluntness.

The number of straightforward questions about every sex act imaginable was making Tadashi’s head spin. He didn’t even know where Langa had heard about some of these. It was only after the third time he assured Langa that yes, anal sex was something that was both possible and very normal, that Tadashi had to stop him.

“Your Highness,” Tadashi said, rubbing his forehead, “exactly how much are you planning on wearing out your wife on your wedding night?”

“I’m not going to do all of it at once,” Langa insisted. “I just…I want to know my options. I have to figure out what he likes.”

“You’re not going to figure it out by trying everything. You have to talk to him. You have to try things together.”

“Tadashi,” Langa sighed, sitting back in his chair. “Have you ever heard what the palace girls say about me?”

Tadashi raised an eyebrow. “No,” he answered carefully. “What do they say?”

“They…well, they think I’m some kind of…I don’t know, expert at sex? I hear them saying stuff like ‘I bet he’s the father of that maid’s baby’ or ‘I heard he once pleasured three ladies at once’ or things like that.” Langa shook his head. “I don’t know where they get it from.”

“I will put a stop to such childish rumors,” Tadashi said. Familiar protectiveness was welling up inside him.

“Oh, the rumors don’t bother me, I know they’re not true. It’s just that I guess I have this reputation, and I’m sure Cindereki has heard it, and he probably expects me to be incredible at something I’ve never tried before.”

“I see.” If only Tadashi could simply tell Langa that Cindereki wasn’t thinking about that in the slightest.  If only he could say that Cindereki was worried he wouldn’t be good enough for him. But Tadashi couldn’t betray that confidence.

“It might be worth having a conversation before the wedding night,” Tadashi offered. “You can both get your expectations in order.”

“I would, if I could ever find him.” Langa pulled a long-suffering expression. “I have no free time. There’s always wedding stuff to do, and the dressmakers and all his attendants never let me see him. I only ever see him at dinner, and there’s always people around. If I invite him to my room, everyone will say that we’re consummating before we’re supposed to.”

“I don’t think I realized this castle was so full of gossips,” Tadashi grumbled. “I will make sure this practice does not continue.”

“Tadashi—”

“I won’t hear a word of it.” It wasn’t often that Tadashi employed a tone like this with the prince, but this had to be done. “I will take care of everything.”

“Seriously, it’s fine!” Langa insisted. “They can talk about me all they like. I don’t care. I just…I’m worried, that’s all.”

Tadashi felt some of the fight go out of him. He placed a hand on Langa’s shoulder and said, “Look. If you want to speak to your fiancé, you are allowed to do so. I believe that if you find yourself in the vicinity of the dressmaker, you may get your chance. At the very least, he really ought to be there.”

Langa’s face lit up. “The dressmaker…” he repeated. “I understand.”

“You’re the prince. You can see him if you want.” Langa had never once pulled rank in the entire time Tadashi had known him, but this was the time to do it.

“I am.” Langa looked suddenly thrilled, as if this possibility had never occurred to him. “You’re right! I’m the prince and I can go talk to him.”

“There you go.”

The next day, Tadashi felt himself being watched as he walked through the halls. Someone’s eyes were on him, boring into his back, with an almost palpable intensity. He tried to ignore it until midday, when he could no longer stand it.

“Cindereki,” he said, stopping short in the corridor. A telltale gasp behind him told him he was right on the mark. “Can I help you?”

Tadashi turned around and saw Cindereki peeking out from behind a corner, face red with the shame of having been caught. He gingerly approached with averted eyes.

“Hi,” Cindereki greeted him sheepishly.

“If you need something, you can just talk to me,” Tadashi said.

The way Cindereki refused to meet his eyes was quite specific. Tadashi sighed and gestured for Cindereki to follow him. Without a word, he went with Tadashi to his office, where Tadashi closed the door and gestured for Cindereki to sit.

“Are you still having concerns?” Tadashi sat at his desk across from the prince’s anxiety-addled fiancé.

“I just…had a couple more questions…is all,” Cindereki mumbled.

“Did you find the book helpful?”

Cindereki finally looked up and nodded vigorously. “Yes, it’s been really great! I’ve read it four times already!”

“…You’re very diligent.”

“I noticed that the pictures with two men…well, you know how one is on top and the other is on the bottom? I mean, not in all of them, sometimes it’s hard to tell, but I was hoping you could help me with that.” Cindereki pulled the book out of his apron pocket and flipped open to an illustration of oral sex. Tadashi tried to keep his face neutral as Cindereki pointed to the man on his knees.

“I figure that for most things Langa probably wants me to be on the bottom, but if we do this, do I do this part or should he?”

“Umm…” Tadashi was left momentarily speechless.

“I mean, I feel like if he does it to me, that’s beneath something a prince should do, isn’t it? Or if I’m doing it to him, does that mean I’m taking control of the whole thing?”

“Okay,” Tadashi said, spurred to action, “you’ve got to stop thinking of things in terms of ‘control’ or ‘beneath someone.’ That’s not what any of this is about.”

Cindereki blinked at him.

“It really depends. When I—I mean, I’ve heard that some people like to su—perform oral sex on their partner because it means a closer intimacy. But also, people like having that done to them because it’s such a different feeling than anything else. There’s no ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ to it like what you’re asking.”

It didn’t seem to be the right answer. Cindereki’s face crumpled. “Well…then, do you know which way Prince Langa likes it?”

“I do not,” Tadashi answered before Cindereki could properly finish his sentence.

“Okay then,” Cindereki sighed. “So we won’t do this one then…that’s okay.”

A few seconds passed, and something clicked in Tadashi’s brain. “Is that something you wanted to try?”

“What?” Cindereki laughed, the most egregiously fake sound. “No. I mean, unless he wanted to, but maybe it’s best to just not bring it up.”

“Cindereki…if you want to try it, you just have to ask.”

“I can’t. He probably just wants to do…this one.” Cindereki flipped to the beginning of the book, where a man was on top of a woman in simple missionary position. He looked positively dejected as he held up the illustration.

Tadashi thought back to the myriad of positions that Langa had asked him about just the other day, suppressing a wry grin at the thought that something so basic could satisfy the prince’s curiosity.

At the same time, hadn’t he promised himself not to betray either of their confidences? There had to be another way around this.

“You know,” he ventured, “this is not always a good way to think of people, because sex is something unique to the human experience. But maybe think of what you know about the prince. Do you know him as someone who doesn’t like to take any risks or try anything new?”

“I guess not.” Cindereki’s voice was still quiet, but he sounded a bit less deflated.

“This is just a…hunch,” Tadashi said, thinking back to Langa’s questions about how many times a person could conceivably orgasm in one night, “but I’m willing to bet that Prince Langa would be at least open to suggestions. He’s really…an adventurous type, you know.”

Cindereki thought about it, then nodded. He closed the book and stood up, looking renewed. “Thank you, Tadashi.” Before turning to leave, he flashed Tadashi a wide, bright smile.

Tadashi could understand what the prince saw in Cindereki. He really was quite cute.

Tadashi almost had a spring in his step as he made his way out to the gardens. He was meeting Lord Adam tonight for a moment of respite from the weeks of wedding preparation, and it was all he had been looking forward to all day. It had been so long since they’d gotten to spend any time together, Tadashi was half-hoping he might not make it back in the morning.

As he quietly rounded the corner past the rose bush, a dark shadow jumped out at him. He just barely caught himself from crying out in terror.

“Tadashi!”

He knew that voice. His heart raced, then slowed, then picked up speed again with an entirely different emotion. “Oh!” he exhaled. “Prince Langa…what are you doing out here, Your Highness?”

The prince stood before him with a look of complete anxiety, small tremors accompanying his every movement.

“Is everything okay, Your Highness?”

“Tadashi, what’s an asexual?”

Tadashi felt like his head was going to spin off his neck. “Excuse me?”

“Does it mean that Cindereki isn’t going to want to have sex with me?”

“Wait, wait a moment…” Tadashi rubbed his forehead and sat down on a nearby stone bench. Langa plopped down beside him, leaning in close, his whole body radiating stress. “Who told you that Cindereki was asexual?”

“I heard the dressmaker’s girls asking him about it.”

More gossip. After the wedding, Tadashi was going to have to organize a fair or something if everyone in the castle was this bored. “Wait, how did you hear them?”

Langa had the grace to look slightly ashamed. “So I went to the dressmaker’s studio today to try to talk to him, like you said. When I got there, it sounded like maybe they were taking his things off, to do fittings or something, so I didn’t want to just walk in.” He averted his gaze. “Okay, I did peek a little bit, but only a little, and he wasn’t completely naked, he had on his cute little bloomers….” He looked up to see Tadashi glaring at him. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Well, since you already know it was wrong, I won’t belabor the point. Tell me what you think the problem is.”

Langa took in a deep breath. “I heard one of the apprentice girls asking him if we’d kissed yet, and Cindereki said yes. Which is true. And they started asking him all kinds of questions about that, and he was pretty nice about it, I think, at least he said some nice stuff about me. But then they started asking him if we’d done anything else, and that’s when he started not answering. And they really wouldn’t leave him alone about it, even when the dressmaker told them to stop, they kept teasing him. And this one girl said, and she sounded kind of mean when she said it, she said, ‘Are you asexual or something?’” Langa paused. “Everything kind of stopped after that, and it seemed like she was trying to insult him. But I don’t know.”

Tadashi was quiet and took all that in. He barely knew where to start. But the longer he was silent, the more Langa began to fidget restlessly. “To begin with,” Tadashi said, “to be asexual is to feel no sexual attraction to another person. And I…don’t think that applies to Cindereki.”

“How do you know?” Langa sounded distressed.

“…A hunch.” He wants to suck your cock and practically told me so earlier today.

“But what if you’re wrong? What if he doesn’t want to do any of that stuff? Or what if he doesn’t want to do it with me?”

“Would that be so bad?”

Langa shot him a look, and seemed to be about to answer, but stopped himself. “I mean…I’d be a little sad.”

“Again, it sounds like there’s far too much gossip going on around here. I would advise you to worry less about it, and focus more on talking to Cindereki directly.”

Langa groaned and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What if I’m forcing him into this? What if he doesn’t want to tell me no?”

“You can always postpone your consummation until you’ve spoken with him about it.”

“I can’t do that.” Langa shook his head furiously. “It’ll look like I don’t want to sleep with him. Which I do. I really, really do.”

Tadashi thought about how nice it was to no longer be a young adult. “You’re working yourself up into a frenzy for no reason, Your Highness. It’s good that you’re considering all possibilities, but I must remind you that you will get no answers talking to me.”

Langa deflated, sighing and staring pointedly at the ground. Although Tadashi was in a hurry to make his way to Lord Adam’s place while he still could, the sudden and intense shift in mood gave him pause.

“Prince Langa…” he began, but he was swiftly cut off.

“It’s easy for people like you,” Langa mumbled. “You don’t have trouble talking to anybody. You always know what everyone else is feeling.”

Tadashi couldn’t help but offer a soft smile. “That isn’t true, Your Highness,” he said gently.

“I say the wrong thing all the time. I don’t know when I’m making someone upset until it’s too late.” Langa glanced at him, and he looked miserable. “What if I make him cry?”

“I think you’re more in tune with others’ emotions than you think you are. Weren’t you telling me just now, how when you were eavesdropping, you could tell Cindereki was upset?”

“I guess…you’re right….”

“You know what bothers him, and you know what makes him happy, don’t you?”

“Well, not everything.” Langa rubbed the back of his head. “Like…I only just found out today that he likes his food really salty.”

“So now you know that, and you’ll remember it, won’t you? Because you love him.”

Silence stretched between them, punctuated only by the sounds of distant crickets and faint voices from open windows. Langa fiddled with a loose thread on his sleeve. “Yeah…that’s why I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Admirable, and understandable, but unrealistic.” Langa looked up and blinked at Tadashi. “There will come times when you do hurt each other. And when you do, you just stop, apologize, and take care not to do it again. It’s true in all things, and it’s true in bed.”

Langa sighed and appeared to mull it over. “I’ll think about that, I guess,” he said after a moment.

He stood up and gave Tadashi a smile, and he did seem to be a little less tense. “Thank you, Tadashi. You’ve been a big help.”

Despite himself, Tadashi felt a pang of pride in his chest. He returned the smile and said, “It’s my pleasure to assist you, Your Highness.”

The day of the wedding finally arrived, and despite everything, all of Cindereki’s nerves melted away. For whatever reason, when he walked down the aisle in his oppressively heavy wedding dress, he could see nothing else but Langa’s face. And they smiled at each other so wide Cindereki felt he might cry, and then when he arrived at the altar, Langa actually did start crying.

Cindereki could only barely hear the words of the officiating priest, only snapping back to reality when he was called to put the ring on Langa’s finger and again when he was asked to say, “I do.”

Kissing Langa then was the closest Cindereki had ever come to something like bliss. He heard the roaring cheer of the crowd, their applause, a few sounds of joyful crying, but all he cared about was his new husband in front of him. Cindereki had never really cared about the lavish reception that had been planned, and now he found himself wanting it over with faster than ever. He didn’t want to share Langa with anyone else right now.

However, he was nothing if not patient, and now it wasn’t improper to hang so close to the prince. Cindereki could stand as close to him for as long as he wanted, and it was okay, because now they were married. So he reveled in the fact that he could make his rounds to greet everyone while holding Langa’s hand. He rejoiced in the small, casual, and frequent kisses Langa placed on his cheek. And most of all, he delighted in resting his knee against Langa’s when they sat next to each other at the dining table.

But despite everything, Cindereki did enjoy the evening. The only way it could have been better than the ball at which he and Langa met was if he was permitted to skate. But no, his dress was too big and too heavy. He wondered now if maybe that was on purpose.

After an enormous meal, the cake, and more dancing than Cindereki had ever thought he’d do, Langa stood up and announced that he and his new bride were tired and while everyone was welcome to continue the festivities, the two of them were going to retire.

Cindereki thought nothing of it until he saw people in the crowd exchanging knowing looks and grinning. One group of drunk people began to cheer.

Had Langa really just…told everyone what was about to happen? Right now? As soon as they left?

It almost sent him into a panic. This whole room of people, more important people than he’d ever dreamed of meeting, was now aware that he and Langa were about to go consummate the marriage. Everyone knew. And tomorrow, Cindereki would have to face everyone in the castle and know that they knew.

But when he turned and looked at Langa, all he saw was the smile, the sparkling glint of love and excitement in his eyes. And the panic melted away before it could even take hold.

Of course everyone would know. All that talk, all that gossip, and by tomorrow it would be dispelled. They wouldn’t whisper behind Cindereki’s back anymore. They’d have to know that Langa loved him, that he’d made love to him, and that was no rumor.

It made Cindereki feel accepted, finally.

When they arrived in Langa’s room, the door locked and guarded from the outside, Cindereki barely had a moment to take a breath before Langa was kissing him again. And so boldly, too. Langa had his hands on either side of Cindereki’s face, holding him firmly, gently, every way he could be held. He kissed him deeply, like everything before had just been practice, a little taste, and now this was the real thing. Cindereki nearly felt his knees buckle. Or maybe that was just the fatigue of wearing this damn dress.

As the kiss finished, they rested their foreheads together and grinned at each other.

“We’re married,” Cindereki said with a giggle.

“We are.” Langa let his hands drift down Cindereki’s arm until their fingers touched.

“Regretting it yet?”

“Never. We’re gonna skate every day, and eat meals together every day, and I’m gonna get you a new dress every day.”

“I don’t need a new one every day. Maybe every year.”

“Whatever you want.”

Then there was silence, and it seemed like the moment had finally come. Cindereki reached for the clip holding his veil onto his head, and Langa gently took his hand before he could touch it.

“Wait…” he said quietly. “Can I…is it okay if I do that for you?”

“Oh.” Cindereki blinked. “Sure. I don’t know what they did to put my hair up like this, though. It might take a while.”

“That’s okay.” Langa looked around the room, finding a chair in the corner with discarded clothes and books all over it. He scurried over, tossed everything away, and dragged the chair over to where Cindereki stood watching him.

“Here,” he said, feeling foolish that he hadn’t even bothered to tidy his room for his new wife. “Have a seat. I’ll…take your hair down for you.”

Cindereki smiled at him and nodded, then moved to sit down. Langa moved behind him and gingerly removed the clip holding the veil into his hair. It really was a pretty bit of tulle, and Langa had liked the way he could only barely see Cindereki through it. Like he was something just out of reach, enticing and forbidden. His hair was done up with all sorts of braids and twists and things Langa wasn’t even sure how they worked. But Cindereki was being patient, so Langa would have to figure it out.

Pins. Dozens of pins. He pulled them out slowly, as if any discomfort he caused Cindereki would be returned to him a hundredfold. Eventually, the hair started to give, breaking free from its tangled prison. Langa took the braids in his hand and laid each of them gently across Cindereki’s shoulder. The wedding dress was sleeveless, and his fingers brushed against Cindereki’s exposed skin.

Did he shiver, or had Langa imagined that?

All pins gone, Langa took the braids again and tried to undo them. It couldn’t be hard, all he had to do was twist the hair in reverse. Cindereki’s hair was soft and such a beautiful red, slipping like silk through his fingers. This close, Langa could smell a hint of the light floral perfume they must have sprayed him with. He realized, with a type of thrill, that he had never seen Cindereki’s hair down and completely free before.

When he was finished, Langa had no idea how long it had taken him. He walked around in front of Cindereki and offered his hand.

From where he sat, Cindereki’s face was flushed pink. With all his red hair tumbling down his shoulders and across his chest, he looked more beautiful now than when Langa had watched him coming down the aisle. Cindereki took Langa’s hand and rose to his feet.

“Thank you,” he said shyly as a wide grin spread across his face. “I might need some more help with…y’know, getting the dress off.”

Tadashi’s voice flashed into Langa’s mind. You have to talk to him. You have to try things together.

“Wh-what if…” Langa started, fidgeting slightly with Cindereki’s fingers in his hand, “how about if…you left it on?”

Cindereki’s eyes widened; Langa was terrified for an instant that he’d ruined the mood, but it was only an instant. Before he could say anything else, Cindereki nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed. “That’s…that’s fine, actually! I would kind of hate to take it off right away, even though it’s a little heavy, I like wearing it, I think…and you don’t mind?”

Langa couldn’t shake his head quickly enough. “No, I don’t mind! I like looking at you in a wedding dress. I like being reminded that we’re married now.”

“Well…I like looking at you in your suit,” Cindereki replied, his grin widening. “It makes you look…princely. What’s the word? Regal.”

“What? No…I don’t look as good as you.” Langa averted his eyes. Lots of people had always complimented his looks, but it had always felt hollow. But when Cindereki said it….

“A very handsome, regal prince,” Cindereki reiterated, stepping forward and batting his eyelashes playfully. “And I want him to kiss me.”

What else could Langa do but oblige?

He would have been content to stand there and kiss Cindereki all night, but touching him brought other thoughts to mind. It had been so long since they’d time to themselves with nothing hanging over them, no plans, no appointments, nothing to do but indulge in each other. Langa had prepared for this, thought over every possibility, asked Tadashi every question. Nothing was left except this.

“You said the dress was heavy?” he asked, his breath gentle against Cindereki’s lips.

“A little.”

“Should we go lay down?”

Cindereki nodded, then broke away from Langa and practically leapt onto the bed. His skirts and petticoats flew up in a flurry of tulle and lace, silk and shining beads. He was grinning, and he looked excited. It was the same look of excitement he’d had the first time they went skating together.

He was so happy and so pretty laying there, Langa couldn’t help but rush forward to join him. As he plopped down onto the mattress, Cindereki laid back and extended his arms and legs as far as they would go.

“Your bed is so huge!” he exclaimed. “It could fit five of me!”

Five Cinderekis… Langa briefly let his mind wander with that image. He watched Cindereki sit up and then shuffle backwards until he was reclining against the massive mountain of pillows that sat against the headboard. Langa hated those things, and threw them off every night before bed, only to return to his room that evening and find them neatly arranged again.

But he liked them a lot more now with the way Cindereki was laying on them.

You have to talk to him, came Tadashi’s voice again.

Cindereki was stretching and snuggling into the pillows, lean arms extending outward and his skirts rustling as he happily kicked his feet.

Langa undid one button on his jacket and tried to muster up some courage. But before he could speak, Cindereki sat up straight with such suddenness it made Langa jump.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Cindereki shouted. “I’m so sorry, I should be doing that! I got so excited about your bed I forgot to help you!”

Langa blinked as Cindereki scooted forward and took hold of the next button. “Wait…what’s the matter?”

“You took my hair down for me so it’s only fair I should take your jacket off for you.” Cindereki’s fingers moved deftly across the buttons, undoing them one at a time with a slight urgency. His hands were warm; Langa could feel the heat rolling off his skin into his chest. By the time Cindereki reached the middle of the line of buttons, Langa put his hands over his.

“I don’t mind doing this part,” he said in an attempt to calm his nerves.

“No, the book said I have to help you, because it’s two people, it’s not just me. I can’t make you do everything.”

“What book?”

Cindereki went pale as if he’d spoken a vile sin. He covered his mouth, then shrank back and stared down at the comforter. “…I didn’t mean to say that,” he mumbled.

For all that Cindereki looked mortified, an image floated into Langa’s mind that made him bite back a laugh. Had Cindereki been researching? Had he holed himself up in his room with some stolen pornography and studied it? Langa tried desperately not to laugh; it was the cutest thing he could imagine Cindereki doing.

Unfortunately, his lack of response made Cindereki look up, and Langa’s suppressed laughter was caught. Cindereki’s mortification quickly turned to indignation, and he frowned, but so, so cutely.

“What’s so funny?”

“N-nothing, I…” Langa snorted and began to laugh in earnest. He felt a heavy pillow collide with his body and he fell to one side, completely lost to the absurdity of it. The stunning cuteness. The endearment.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he said, but Cindereki was infected with giggles now too, and Langa got to hear the beautiful sound of his wife’s laughter.

When finally Langa had calmed down enough to speak, he sat up and took Cindereki’s hand. He pressed a kiss to the back of his fingers, and said, “You know I went and bothered Tadashi for advice. You weren’t the only one doing research.”

“Tadashi?” Cindereki repeated. “I talked to him too.”

There was a beat of silence.

“So…he was helping both of us?” asked Langa.

“I had no idea. He’s real good at keeping secrets. You should pay him more.”

“Yeah…I really should.”

Langa kissed his fingers again, trying to push thoughts of his advisor out of his head. He’d thank him later, of course, but for now, there was only one thing he wanted to focus on.

“So…” he said, between more kisses, “about this book….”

“Oh…it was nothing, really. Just diagrams. And…definitions. And stuff.” It almost seemed like there were shivers going up his arm.

“Can you show me?”

“I didn’t bring it with me….”

“Can you show me another way?” Langa looked up at him through his eyelashes and saw Cindereki’s blush go all the way up from his neck to his cheeks to his ears.

There was a short pause. “Well….” Cindereki leaned forward and kissed him. Just as he seemed about to pull away, Langa felt Cindereki slip the very tip of his tongue past his lips. It was quick, testing, but set a fire in his stomach all the same.

Cindereki smiled as he sat back. “There’s that.”

Langa’s heart blossomed in his chest. He grinned. “I like that.”

“I guess we already know how to do that part already, though.”

Langa tried to sound casual as he asked, “Anything…else…in that book that maybe…you could show me?”

“Well,” Cindereki said, averting his eyes and flushing deep red. “What do you…well, what do you want?”

A strange pause passed between them. “What do I want?” Langa repeated.

“I’ve been studying all of it.” Cindereki whipped his head back up and leaned forward towards Langa, causing him to lean back slightly. “Everything. If you quiz me, I’ll know it. I’ve picked out a couple things that I think I can do okay, but if you don’t want that just tell me and I’ll do something else.”

All of it… Langa let his mind run wild. Did that mean Cindereki was willing to try anything? What “things” had he picked out already? Was there something he had in mind that he wanted to do?

“What things?” He hadn’t exactly meant to say it, but the curiosity was killing him.

“Well…there’s this…” Cindereki said, fidgeting with his skirts, “…I thought it might be nice to…would you want to…like…put your mouth on me?” He spoke the last few words so softly they were barely audible.

However, to Langa, it was like a choir of angels had opened up overhead.

He’d let me do that? He wants it? He asked! He said it, he must want it!

Langa cleared his throat to avoid a humiliating voice crack, and said with as much dignity as he could muster: “I would…love that.”

“You would!?” Cindereki exclaimed, his whole demeanor perking up. “Wait, are you sure it’s okay? Isn’t it more appropriate if I do it to you?”

“No,” Langa cut him off swiftly. This was his chance. “No, I mean…I’ll do it to you! If you let me. We can switch later. But for now, this time…let me?”

He had to hold himself back from begging. He was mere seconds away from one of his favorite fantasies of the past few weeks coming to life. Every instant between him and that moment was unbearable.

“Okay,” Cindereki said with a smile and a nod. “Shall I take off—?”

“Leave the dress on…leave it.”

So Cindereki obliged and settled back against the pillows again.

Cindereki, despite his racing heart, found that he wasn’t panicking. Yes, he was finally in bed after marrying his new husband, yes he had just laid back to let that husband start to do the thing he’d dreamt of for days, and yes he was nearly in physical pain from the amount of want that he felt. But he was vibrating with excitement.

This was just like skating, really. About to try something new, unsure of where it might lead, knowing it wouldn’t be perfect the first time, but the thrill of just barreling headfirst into it was something he knew all too well. If only he could have thought of it that way on his own, he might not have had to bother Tadashi so much for reassurance.

But without Tadashi, he wouldn’t have found that book, and he wouldn’t have gotten ideas.

Langa laid his head down on Cindereki’s lap, hugging his thighs and letting the pulsing of his heart beat through all the layers of fabric into Cindereki’s skin. He was warm. Cindereki reached out to gently stroke the top of his soft hair, his body moving on its own.

“I really like all your dresses,” Langa said as he looked up. “But I really like your legs, too.” He paused. “I don’t get to see them much.”

“Really?” Cindereki felt his blush deepen. “Well…you’re allowed to see, you know. I am your wife.” Just saying the word sent a flutter into his stomach.

“Can I?” Langa’s face brightened as Cindereki slowly nodded.

With an unsteady hand, Langa gently pulled up the skirts until all the tulle and silk bunched in Cindereki’s lap. Cindereki’s legs were suntanned and filled with lithe muscle, a little dusting of red hair all along his calves. Langa didn’t quite pull the dress up above the knee, but he was staring intently at the few inches of concealed thigh.

Langa made eye contact with Cindereki, who didn’t say anything or make any move to stop him. Cindereki glanced back at him, then covered his crimson face with both hands.

“Can I?” Langa asked again.

Cindereki nodded silently.

Langa placed one hand on Cindereki’s knee, making him jump slightly. With a soft, slow movement, Langa dragged his palm down Cindereki’s calf, taking his time on each and every centimeter, until he reached the thin, bony ankle.

“I really like your legs,” Cindereki heard Langa say, as if he were somewhere far away.

“Thank you…” came the mumbled response. Cindereki was sinking into a state of heightened sensation, like even the unmoving air in the room could make him shudder.

Langa dipped his head down and began to press kisses up Cindereki’s legs, starting with his bare ankles. Every motion became steadier the further he went, each lingering kiss warmer and surer than the last. Cindereki tried to breathe evenly, tried not to make a sound, but his heart was beating so fast he thought he could faint. No one had ever touched him like this. He’d had no idea his body could feel this way.

The kisses arrived at the knee, Langa’s hands gripping the underside of Cindereki’s calf and pushing it upward. Without thinking, Cindereki took hold of his skirts and began to pull them up higher. An invitation. A plea.

Langa shifted closer, lost in his own head as he lavished silent praise all across Cindereki’s skin. He must have felt Cindereki tensing up, and he loosened his grip just enough to coax a stillness out of him.

It felt like miles between his knee and his thigh. Cindereki was pretty sure he hadn’t blinked this whole time. He reached for Langa’s hair again, stroking it and pulling the soft strands through his fingers. There was no midnight coming; this wasn’t a dream.

By the time Langa’s lips finally reached the beginnings of his inner thigh, Cindereki could no longer hold back his tight exhales. He let slip the tiniest noise, and his breath caught in his throat as Langa looked up at him with soft blue eyes. Langa adjusted himself lower, laying almost on his chest, and moved Cindereki’s leg to drape over one shoulder.

This was almost too much. Cindereki felt himself nearing a precipice. He didn’t want to go just yet.

“Langa…” he whispered. It barely sounded like his own voice. It was thick and small and laced with unspoken needs.

But Langa had disappeared under Cindereki’s skirts. Cindereki felt him under there, imagined the look on his face, wondered how red his pale skin must have gotten, wondered how intensely his eyes must be staring.

Langa’s other hand moved to take hold of the little underwear Cindereki wore, and as he pulled it away, Cindereki felt like he was on fire.

“Slow down…can you slow down?” he gasped, gripping the blanket beside him.

Langa stopped and didn’t move. Cindereki breathed in and out, trying to will his body to calm down, trying to tell himself he didn’t want to fall yet. The book talked about this too. How one had to be careful to match their partner’s speed, how it wouldn’t do to reach the end before the other person had even gotten started. He’d have to hold back. He’d have to relax.

“Are you all right?” came Langa’s muffled voice. Cindereki could feel his breath against the most intimate part of him. It sent shivers up his entire body.

“Yes, I’m all right,” he assured him. “You’re really…I like this. I like it a lot.”

“Me too.” Langa’s grip on Cindereki’s leg tightened ever so slightly. “May I continue?”

“Yes. Yes. Please.”

And then Langa’s mouth was there, and Cindereki ascended. A sharp gasp ripped through his throat and down into his lungs, blooming and igniting. He’d spent the last few nights imagining how this might feel in the moment, reading the descriptions over and over again. He’d never come close. The book had never come close.

While he couldn’t see exactly what Langa was doing, he could imagine it well enough. He felt the movements of his lips and tongue, curious at the beginning and then diving in with recklessness. Just like the way Langa skated. He was never afraid or unsure for very long. With time, he would only get better.

Cindereki tried to keep his voice down; while everyone in the castle knew this was happening, he didn’t exactly want to be heard by everyone too. But it was slowly becoming a losing battle. First he lost control of his even breaths as they came faster and shorter. Then even those were too big to contain, and he let out his first real, actual whimper.

The change in Langa’s movements was immediate. The hand on Cindereki’s thigh gripped him tighter and everything seemed to go faster. Langa pushed forward, closer into him, and the heat under Cindereki’s dress was starting to make him sweat. It wouldn’t be long now, no matter what Cindereki did. He was nearing the edge; he didn’t want to wait any longer.

He reached for the impression of Langa’s head beneath the skirts and placed his hand there. It was such a surreal feeling. An intimacy beyond his wildest imagination. It was like they were sharing the same body, or at least something like that. Two people, together: Tadashi had been right. That’s what made this so different. Something completely new from anything Cindereki might have tried by himself before.

When the end came, Cindereki let himself make whatever noise burst out of him. He couldn’t imagine holding back, couldn’t imagine keeping it to himself. Langa would want to hear it; he ought to, he helped make it, didn’t he? Cindereki laid there, breathing heavily, noisily, squirming with the effort of chasing every last bit of sensation. At some point, Langa had reemerged from beneath the skirts, and when Cindereki opened his eyes again, there was his husband staring down at him.

His face was a bright, hot red, his hair tousled and out of place, and his pupils wide from the dark underneath the dress.

“Langa…” Cindereki said, almost out of breath, “that was….”

“Can I try something?” Langa asked. “Please? If it’s okay.”

“I…sure, what?”

“Can I…” he started, but cut himself off, averting his gaze. There was an intense focus on his eyes, and his one-track mind was tearing down a singular path. After a moment of steeling himself, he met Cindereki’s eyes again and blurted out, “Can I fuck your thighs?”

Cindereki couldn’t remember if he’d ever heard Langa say that word. Was he really in that much of a state?

“We don’t have to,” Langa said hastily, shaken by Cindereki’s pause. “We really don’t, but…if you…”

“Yes.” The word was out of him before he could process it. He’d read about this in the book too. He knew exactly what to do.

He flipped over to his side and began to hike up the bundle of skirts to his hips. “Come on, come lay behind me,” he said.

Langa slotted himself in behind Cindereki in an instant, grabbed his chin and twisted his head around for a kiss. He found himself wondering if it maybe wasn’t the cleanest thing after what he’d just done, but he could hardly care and it seemed neither did his wife.

What he’d just done…he’d never imagined that doing something so intimate to someone else would affect him like that. He hadn’t even touched his own body; nothing had. But the noises Cindereki had made, the movements he’d made, the way he’d pushed down on Langa’s head underneath his skirt…it was so primal, so instinctual. It made Langa’s blood run wild. If he felt like this now, what would it be like once they tried this new thing?

Something it seemed Cindereki knew how to do.

Cindereki turned his head back forward and Langa began to press kisses into the back of his neck. The skirts were enormous and nearly impossible to push away. Langa barely had the wherewithal to not just rip the fabric away. It took some doing, but eventually, working together, they were able to move aside the dress enough for their legs to touch. The front of Langa’s thighs met the back of Cindereki’s, which were hot and reddened and covered in slick residue.

Langa reached up under Cindereki’s arm to grab his shoulder, continuing to kiss his soft, squishy neck over and over.

“Langa,” Cindereki said as he rocked back into him, “you gotta…come on, take off your pants, dummy.”

“Oh yeah.” Langa obliged, nearly pulling off the buttons in his haste to rip everything off. When he was bare below the waist and pushed himself back into Cindereki, the meeting of their skin was so hot he shivered.

“Tell me what to do,” he whispered into Cindereki’s ear. He pressed kisses just below it, pulling his body closer like he wanted to consume him.

“Take your…um, your, uh….”

“Go on, say it,” Langa teased. He didn’t know where the impulse came from, but he was going to follow it. It felt right.

“Your…cock,” Cindereki managed to say, and the word sounded so lewd and yet so adorable in his voice. “Take your cock and put it between my legs. Right up at the very top here. …Under mine.”

Langa obeyed, and it was blazing hot sandwiched between his thighs. His body was singing. “You’re so amazing, Cindereki,” he said, squeezing him tightly. “You’re so gorgeous and you’re so smart, you know exactly what to do.”

He wished he could see Cindereki’s face. He was probably blushing so prettily right now.

“N-Now just move…I’ll…make it tight for you.”

Langa began to move, and it was an easy slide, thanks to what he’d done before. As promised, Cindereki pressed his legs closer together, and the effect was immediate.

He’d talked extensively with Tadashi about how to do penetrative sex. If Langa was being honest, it was something he thought about a lot, even before meeting Cindereki. The way Tadashi explained it, there was an enormous amount of preparation involved, nearly all of which would be on Cindereki’s side of things, and after a while Langa despaired it might not be feasible on their wedding night. But this though…this was more than certainly the next best thing.

It was just like he imagined it could be if he were really inside him. So snug and inviting, warm and pliable. Everything Langa loved about Cindereki’s legs was enveloping him in a tight cocoon of heat. He began to move faster, lost in his own haze and drunk on the sounds once again pouring from Cindereki’s mouth.

They didn’t last long. Langa would have been surprised if they had. But it was still perfect, still exactly what he needed, and he couldn’t wait to do it again. He couldn’t wait to try more, to spend the rest of his life learning every last little thing about Cindereki. Not just in this, in their intimacy, but in everything. He wanted to collect the pieces that made up his wife, large and small, no matter what they were, and memorize them like they were his own name.

Langa reached for Cindereki’s chin and turned his face for another kiss. The way his hair was tousled, spilling down over his blushing shoulders, it made him more lovely than ever before.

“Did you like it?” Langa found himself saying. “Are you okay?”

Cindereki blinked at him, then a wide grin spread across his face as he nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. It was…it was really good. Did you like it?”

“Yes! You were so good, Cindereki, you’re so amazing!”

He covered his face with his hands and rolled away from Langa’s intense gaze. “That’s…no. You don’t have to say all that.”

“It’s true though! Cindereki, you’re really…can we try more stuff?”

Cindereki peeked out between his fingers. “More? Now?”

“Yeah, now.” Langa nodded. “Unless you’re tired. We can take a break. I can help you out of your dress if you’re tired of wearing it.”

“I…I guess so.” Cindereki sat up and made a face as he stared down at his tossed skirts. “I probably…ruined it, didn’t I?”

“I’ll have it cleaned for you.”

“I’ll clean it,” Cindereki insisted. “I, uh…don’t worry, I’ll do it.”

Langa leaped forward and grabbed him up in a hug, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and squeezing. He thought his heart might burst. “I love you,” he said with his face buried in Cindereki’s soft neck. “I love you a lot, I really do.”

Cindereki returned the embrace and kissed Langa’s temple. “I love you too,” he replied with a giggle. “What’s all this about?”

“We should talk to each other more,” Langa blurted out. He pulled away and rested his hands on Cindereki’s shoulders. “All this time we were talking to Tadashi, we should have been talking to each other. So…please don’t think you can’t. Talk to me, that is.”

Cindereki blinked, then averted his eyes a bit sheepishly. “Okay,” he said. “I will. But you also. Talk to me.”

“I will.” He paused, then began to fidget. “Do you wanna…try more stuff?”

Without missing a beat, Cindereki nodded. “I read about a whole lot.”

“Show me more?”

“Whatever you want.”