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What I Was Made For

Summary:

Chuuya had never thought himself made for love.

Mori works to correct that belief.

Notes:

Gift fic for Somno

I hope you don't mind, I got a bit too much hurt/comfort on your fluff. 😅

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Chuuya had never thought himself made for love.

Loyalty? Dependability? Sure, but love? Chuuya had watched those he thought loved him leave far too many times to believe he was truly able to be loved.

Any time he felt those emotions creeping into his heart, he grew used to stamping them out and hiding them in the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind where they would never again see the light of day.

Unfortunately, that technique didn’t seem to work when it came to his boss… Mori should have been off limits to his heart, he was his superior, a mentor figure… not someone he should have such feelings for.

But Chuuya had always appreciated power, and Mori wielded it so beautifully. Chuuya couldn’t help but be enamoured by him every time he watched him, be it in a fight or as he took command of those under him.

Chuuya couldn’t help the way his traitorous mind would so often wander to places it shouldn’t, he was always quick to shut those thoughts down, never letting them see the light of day where they could grow and infect his heart with a love he knows he is not worthy of.

Chuuya wasn’t made to be adored… he was made to fight and follow orders. A loyal dog to call upon and use until he’d outlived his usefulness, then he’d be passed off onto the next person who could make use of him and he put himself back together.

There was no point in even humouring such emotions when he knew they would only lead to more heartbreak in the future.

Suppressing such feelings became all the harder for him though, when Mori began requesting his company when he would leave the Mort Mafia HQ, dressed down and looking far too human for a man with so much blood on his hands, it made it so much more difficult for Chuuya to keep his traitorous heart in check.

Watching him walk through the park, holding Elise’s hand, pointing out anything and everything that they saw, offering to buy her treats any time they passed a vendor, as the two of them enjoyed the atmosphere, he couldn’t help but imagine what life could be like if this was the norm. 

If they were just two ordinary members of society. 

If Mori was just a father and a doctor. If Chuuya was a university student… if they had the chance to meet in a world not filled with violence and bloodshed, where they could just be two people with the chance to meet, build a connection and fall in love the way ordinary people did.

But that wasn’t the life they had, it wasn’t the path fate had chosen for them…

They’d stopped by a park, Mori was watching Elise as she played and interacted with the children there just as if she were the same as them. In moments like this, it was so easy to forget she was a construct built to satisfy Mori’s deepest desires… Chuuya was just about to excuse himself when Mori took his arm and pulled him close.

“You know, Chuuya, you truly are the worst when it comes to hiding anything… You’re a complete and total open book.” Though his eyes didn’t stray from Elies, Chuuya could still tell he had Mori’s attention focused almost entirely on him.

Unsure of what to say, Chuuya decided his easiest course of action was to apologise, “Sorry, Boss… I’ll try to work on that.” he said, looking down at his feet.

Mori turned around, leaning himself against the railing before catching Chuuya’s chin between his fingers and lifting his face to meet his own, “It’s nothing to apologise for, my dear. It’s actually one of the qualities I appreciate most about you. You're honest to a fault, a quality not often found in our line of work. I like it.”

Chuuya wanted to curse himself when he felt his face begin to heat up at the compliment– certain that he must have been bright red, “T-thank you, Boss.” was all he could get out without stuttering too badly. 

A not quite uncomfortable silence fell over them as Mori continued to eye Chuuya, while the Executive did his best to look anywhere but the others beautiful amethyst eyes “You know, I don’t invite you on these little outings with me and Elise because I need your protection.” Mori eventually said, once again breaking the silence between them.

Confused, Chuuya finally meets Mori’s eyes again, "Then… why do you do it?” 

It seemed to take considerable effort on Mori’s part not to roll his eyes, “Because, Doll, I enjoy spending time with you. But unless it’s an order, you seem to avoid being alone with me. It’s very annoying.” He replied, “I don’t like having to order you to come out with me, but I'm not above pulling rank if it means I get you to spend the afternoon with you.”

Chuuya stood frozen for a moment, unsure how to respond to Mori’s words, he didn’t know if he could believe them, that Mori could really be saying what he was.

“Chuuya…” At the sound of his name, the redhead was able to bring himself back into the conversation, “Would you consent to me taking you on a real date some time? While I do enjoy these outings, I would  very much enjoy the chance to spoil you properly, the way you deserve.”

For the umteenth time since they’d stopped by that park, Chuuya had been shocked into silence, Mori’s words were everything he could have hoped for and more, things he’d only dreamed about hearing during those dark and lonely nights where he would temporarily give into his heart and allow himself to dream that someone would want him as anything more than a weapon. 

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, I’m a patient man, I just wanted to make sure my intentions were clear. I want you to understand that your feelings are not one sided and that–” 

“Yes.” Chuuya said cutting Mori off, “I would like that a lot.” he said, looking up, a nervous smile creeping its way onto his face. 

Mori smiled, “Wonderful! It’s a date then!” he replied, before turning back to watching Elise.

Not sure what else to say, Chuuya finally excused himself, he was going to go buy a coffee, and hoped that by the time he returned, his face had returned to its normal colour and the dumb look he could feel attempting to take over had faded.

He may not really believe he’s meant for anything more than loyalty and destruction, but as he looked back at Mori, watching over Elies as like a doting parent, smiling his own dumb smile, Chuuya decided that perhaps he wasn’t entirely ready to give up all hope of a future with love in it.

Notes:

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