Work Text:
Rules for the Lost Light:
1. If you see a yellow briefcase, don’t touch it and immediately notify Ultra Magnus of its whereabouts.
2. Do not, for any reason, be within 50 ft of the engine during takeoff. If you ignore this rule then we are not responsible for what happens to you.
3. If you are in the engine room and you hear a voice whispering “kill me”, you’re imagining things. Do not tell anyone else about it.
4. If you hear a really loud BOOM, do not initiate your transformation cog and make your way to the medibay.
5. If suddenly all of the lights turn off, lock all doors and don’t leave the room. Try to make as little noise as possible and do not attempt to turn on any lights. Don’t let any unfamiliar bots inside the room. DO NOT let him see you.
6. If at any point on this journey you find corpses with these characteristics, it is imperative that you immediately notify your captains and leave the area:
- Missing T-cog
- Processor in it’s mouth
- A face covered in puncture marks
- Has been electrocuted to death
- Has been ground up
7. If you ever hear someone singing or humming the song The Empurean Suite nearby, IMMEDIATELY leave the area. Do whatever you need to do to get away. Anything is better than letting them catch you.
8. Don’t sing or hum The Empyrean Suite.
9. There are scraplets in the oil reservoir. Don’t worry she is mostly domesticated and will not harm you unless it is her feeding time. Do not swim in the reservoir at the times of 10:00 and 25:00
10. The Lost Light has no psychiatrist. If a mech with a grey mouthpiece claims to be one and proposes having sessions with him, do not agree and immediately notify your captains.
11. If you are looking old Lost Light footage or logs and you see any mention of an orange and white bot with glasses and a spark window, named Rung, occupation: psychiatrist, immediately cease looking at the document and give it to the ships archivist Rewind. This mech does not exist. The Lost Light has no psychiatrist.
12. If someone leaves and then comes back acting strangely and with fresh puncture wounds in the nape of their neck, immediately notify your captains.