Chapter Text
Just like the act of getting the misrepresented news out hadn’t been entirely in Nah’s hands, the act of getting the truth out wasn’t under her control either. It was obvious that Maribelle heard it from Brady and that she formed her new opinions based on his hurting heart, because not a word was said toward Nah or Nowi in regards to anything. There was just a sudden lack of concerned mothers coming over and checking in on them, which brought a sense of peace to the house that hadn’t been around for some time.
The only people involved in that whole visiting thing that still came by were the two who were friends with Nah to begin with, and had been visiting for her sake, not to do various housework and cooking tasks for Nowi. Given that she’d always despised Morgan from the start, it made perfect sense that Kjelle kept coming by, and Cynthia was just too kind-hearted to stop checking in on a friend even if that friend hadn’t been truthful about her situation. “I get it, someone else told everyone what had happened, I can’t blame you for that,” she said with a solemn expression as she offered open arms for Nah to take a hug. “I’m still here for you, even if everyone else might not be.”
By the time a week had passed, it seemed the only people who weren’t still on Nah’s side of everything were the older women under Maribelle’s thumb, Maribelle herself, Brady, and Morgan, although Nah hadn’t heard from some others and didn’t know where they stood. She’d visited with Noire and Laurent several times, driving over to their place after work and crashing on the couch with Noire until she had to go home. She spent a lot of time talking with her mother, watching cheesy movies until her eyelids drooped so heavily that she needed to turn in for the night. And she spent several evenings over with Ribbon and her parents, planning out how they were going to play their game without the support she’d expected there to be.
All the while, that date of the ceremony at the school drew closer and closer, something that Ribbon would constantly refer to and beg for Nah to attend on her behalf. It didn’t seem to matter how many times Nah would remind her that she’d have to be there just for working at the school, Ribbon would just keep asking if she’d be there and watching as she moved up in the school system. “I’ll be there, with all of the teachers and staff that work at the school, but that’s all I’ll be there doing,” she said, looking at Ribbon with a pleading expression to stop bringing it up, but the girl was relentless.
No less than eight times that night did Ribbon mention the idea of Nah being at the ceremony, and no less than eight times did Nah give that same sort of answer. By the time she needed to head home for the night, she was ready to say that she wouldn’t come back by until that was no longer a topic of conversation, but the apology that she received from Ribbon’s father about her eagerness to be watched made her think twice about that. “I get it, I guess, she’s excited to have something going on that’s all her own and she wants one of her favorite people to be there. It totally, absolutely makes sense to me.”
“And it’s not like she has a lot of people to invite,” he reminded Nah, which made her immediately recontextualize the whole situation. “Each student is allowed to invite up to ten people, and her classmates have been making a big deal about how they’ve had to carefully pick their invitations. But Ribbon…” He sighed, shaking his head. “Counting you, she only has nine people total to invite, and two of those are babies that don’t even count toward her limit of ten.”
At once, Nah’s chest tightened as she felt sorry for all of the judgment she’d been casting in Ribbon’s direction toward the constant badgering. “I…I’ll see if the administration will let me sit somewhere that isn’t in a sea of staff members, just to be a bit more supportive,” she said, barely able to get the words out with how tight her throat had gotten. “It isn’t fair if she can’t get all of the love and support she deserves.”
“Thank you, Nah. You mean the world to her, so just trying to do something will matter more than you realize.” He gave her a firm clasp on the shoulder, smiling at her wearily. “I’ve already had to make everyone else that’s been invited swear they’ll be there, just so that we don’t crush her spirits. Do you know how hard that is, when they’re holding this on a weekday and people have jobs to do?”
“I can imagine that it’s pretty hard,” Nah said quietly, thinking about how lucky she was that attending the ceremony was a part of her job to begin with, and that she wasn’t going to have to ask for time off to make it. “But everyone’s going to be there, right?”
The two shared a look, where Nah was able to see that Ribbon’s father was holding hope that his answer was correct, but he knew that it wasn’t guaranteed until it happened. “From what I’ve heard, yes, but all it takes is one little thing happening for someone to have to be at their job instead of being there for her.”
“Then we’re just going to believe that there’s no ‘one little thing’ that could possibly happen to take away from this.” Pounding a fist into her other hand, Nah sounded as confident as she could, to try and build confidence in the older man she was speaking with. “Just like we’re not letting that one big thing that happened to me take away from the other thing Ribbon wants more than people showing up for her ceremony.”
There was a pause, as they looked at each other again, before both of them awkwardly laughed about what she was referring to. “Right, right, we’ll get that sorted out alongside all of this ceremony stuff,” Ribbon’s father said with a smile. “You’ve been asking around for players, haven’t you? Do you think that one of them could prepare to do the hard work of running everything after we get started? It’s been a lot of reading and preparing to be characters that I’m not actually sure I’m built for.”
“Oh, uh…kind of? I always expected that it’d be me taking control once we got a feel for how things were going to run, but if I step into that role, then we’ll be short a player and I’m not exactly finding a whole bunch of people willing to spend one night a week with me and a kid at this point…” That was very true, as Nah had only gotten a promise of commitment from Noire, who had said that Laurent was also interested in giving the game a second shot. She’d also reached out to Ribbon’s brother, but Yarne wasn’t fully sure he wanted to play, even if it was for his sister’s sake. “But I’m sure we’ll work it out, that’s how things go around here, time and time again.”
“Sounds optimistic enough for me. I’m thinking we can get this started next week, if you don’t mind? Would Tuesdays still work for you, so you can bring Ribbon home and meet us here to play?” The thought of playing a new version of the same game on the same day everything had fallen apart made Nah feel uneasy, but she didn’t have any alternatives so she shrugged and accepted the idea. “Once she’s not in school, we can obviously change the day if needed. That just seems to be the day that makes the most sense.”
Nah shook her head, wanting to make it clear that her apprehension was not something that needed to be worked with. “It’ll work perfectly for now. Finally Ribbon will get to live out her dreams of playing my game after school on Tuesdays, exactly what she’s been begging me for since she first heard about it.”
“Good to know that some things never change about her. It’s been a wild past year and there’s been plenty of chances that she could just…become someone else, but she’s stayed true to herself and that’s what matters. That’s clearly a trait she inherited from her mother…” He trailed off, eyes glancing at Nah a couple of times before saying, “Or maybe it’s from one of her favorite people in the world, the one who’s definitely her favorite that she isn’t related to in any way.”
“That’d be me, huh?” It wasn’t a question that Nah actually needed, or even wanted, an answer to. She was completely aware of Ribbon’s adoration of her, and she didn’t need to check and double check if it was still the case. What she was getting all warm and fuzzy over was the read on her character from someone that she admittedly didn’t spend that much time speaking with. She did stay true to herself through everything, and when she’d faltered she’d found a way to come back to being who she was, no matter the circumstances.
Not that she would ever say she was a great role model for someone as precocious and precious as Ribbon was, but all kids needed someone to look up to. “Dad, are you still talking Nah’s ear off?” they both heard Ribbon calling from the other side of the room, and they both looked to see her smiling, waving to get their attention. “I want to talk to her before she goes home!”
“Right, you’re welcome to do that right now, if you’d like,” her father called back, before covering his mouth and wincing from the volume he’d taken. At the same time that Ribbon jumped up from where she was sitting and barreled across the room, the unmistakable sound of wailing came from elsewhere in the house. “I suppose that’s my cue to fix the problems I’ve caused, sorry about that,” he apologized, slipping away and letting his daughter take his place instead.
“How dare you try getting out of saying bye to me tonight,” Ribbon playfully scolded, waggling her finger in Nah’s face. “I’m so, so disappointed in you.”
“You might want to watch that finger, before I try breaking it,” Nah replied, reaching out to grab it but instead finding her hand laced with Ribbon’s. “Oh? What’s this?”
“A friendship handshake.”
“Feels less like a handshake and more like you holding my hand.” Nah released her fingers entirely so that Ribbon could slide hers away easily, but the girl let her hand remain exactly as it was. “Okay, what gives? Suddenly you’re into holding hands with someone twice your age?”
That was what got Ribbon to finally pull her hand away, giving a yuck-face at the insinuation that she’d just heard. “No! I want to hold hands with my best friend, is that too much to ask?” That was followed by a pause, before Ribbon’s shoulders slumped and her long hair fell over her face. “That was dumb, never mind. You’re too old to be my best friend.”
“You know, I’d usually argue that there’s no age limit on friendships, but given that I’m an adult and literally work in your school, I’m going to say that calling me your best friend is a little weird. I’ll be your friend, but we’re not getting any closer than that.” Imagining the kinds of chaos that could unfold in her professional life if it came out that she had a student considering her a “best friend,” Nah hoped that her line she’d just drawn would be respected. “And no, this doesn’t change after you go to a new school. As long as you’re still a student in the Ylisse school system, you’re not calling me anything but a friend. Even then, let’s keep that away from school.”
“Yeah, yeah, Mom and Dad tell me the same thing all the time. They think it’s super weird that I’m friends with one of Yarne’s friends, but it’s like, hello? They’re the ones who told you to bring me home once a week, they’re the ones responsible for this.” Just listening to Ribbon talk and explain her reasoning was a very good reminder of her age and innocence. The unique way she looked at the world around her was something that needed to be protected, no matter what, and Nah hoped that as Ribbon grew older, she wouldn’t change that about herself.
In a flash, Nah came to accept that perhaps there were a lot of her own traits that Ribbon had picked up on, whether intentionally or not. She wasn’t going to try swaying the girl into acting any particular way overall, but she was going to do whatever she could to protect her heart and that naïve streak that the conversation had made all too clear. It was almost like a balancing act, trying to let Ribbon grow into being her own person, but also helping her become someone that wouldn’t be damaged by the cruelties of their world. At the end of the day, all Nah could do would be guide her to some outcomes, but she wouldn’t ever be able to tell her exactly how she should or shouldn’t be.
She shook her head to break her train of thought. Ribbon was still staring at her, no time at all having passed since she’d spoken, completely unaware of how fixated on thinking about what was best for the girl Nah had become. “I don’t think they expected you to enjoy being around me so much, that’s all,” she finally said, knowing that once upon a time, she’d been hesitant to even spend that one afternoon a week chauffeuring Ribbon around. “And things will change about the kind of time we spend together, and it may become even harder to not see me as a friend, but for my job’s sake—and for the sake of your living situation—you need to see me as just another adult in your life.”
“Hold on, are you saying I could live somewhere else if I think you’re my friend?” Ribbon’s eyes grew wide. “That’d be pretty cool!”
“No, Ribbon, it really wouldn’t be cool at all. You’d be without your parents, without your brother and sister, without me.” Cursing herself for dropping that tidbit into the conversation in such a nonchalant way, Nah stood firm as she said, “It’s just best if you think of me as a friend once you’re an adult and can do that without judgment. Until then, I’m just a staff member at your school that’s friends with your brother. Got it?”
There was a split second where it seemed Ribbon was going to try and say something against those wishes, but she shaped up in the last possible breath before her words tumbled out of her mouth. “Yeah, I’ve got it. Thanks for everything, Nah. You’re great!”
While she certainly didn’t feel great, about this and a lot of other things, Nah couldn’t help but smile at the temporary burst of happiness the compliment from a child delivered to her. She was flawed. She was a complete disaster in most ways. Her social life had more or less imploded on itself and she was now arranging her time to play games with a twelve-year-old and her family. But she was true to herself in the end, and if Ribbon could see and accept that, then maybe someday others could as well.
For the time being, though, it was all about focusing on their new game, meeting weekly to gather around a table to explore dungeons and fight monsters to protect people. Ribbon was going to get to be Elegantia for as long as the character got to live (which shouldn’t be a short time, given that she was the whole reason they were playing), and everyone else was going to be characters of their own creation. As much as she’d wanted to bring Farona back, the moment Nah had written her name down on a character sheet the vivid memories of that evening at Morgan’s house came back and she couldn’t bring herself to resurrect that ghost, so she crafted someone new for the occasion. When Noire and Laurent joined, they too brought new characters to replace the ones that had been morally massacred in that ill-fated session. That meant that everyone was starting fresh, everyone was on equal ground in finding their character’s voice and talents, and that made the game something new.
Something that couldn’t be taken away from them through the interventions of the Fell Dragon coursing through someone else’s veins.
Something that was uniquely theirs.
And after everything she’d been through, being able to say that her happiness was located at the dining room table inside Ribbon’s house? That was something that Nah had desperately needed and never wanted to trade away for anything.
Even though school had ended and there were no longer students in classes that needed to be worried about, there was still a week of work left to be done for Nah and the other staff members in the district. Given that she worked at four different schools every week, that meant four times the appearances she needed to make in classrooms and at award ceremonies, but it came with the exchange of having just about all of her paperwork done long before that final week came. All of the schools that covered the younger grades were holding their promotion ceremonies that last week, and while four was far from the number of schools there were in the district that met that criterion, it still came out to being that there was one ceremony a day, for four days, that Nah was forced to go to.
Well, three of them were genuinely forced, as she didn’t exactly have many attachments with any particular students who were moving on to the next level of education. It was the fourth one, on the Thursday of the week, right after lunchtime sandwiched between a smaller school’s ceremony that morning and a larger one’s that evening, that Nah was most excited for. She’d done her best to get to sit somewhere that wasn’t with the other staff members, but the principal (who was very understanding of the reason for the request) felt that her hands were tied on where seating arrangements could be made. That meant that, for one of the most important days of Ribbon’s life thus far, Nah couldn’t be any more than just another face in a sea of teachers and support staff, and the guilt for that failing was immense.
But, be it a gift from Naga or just a moment of awareness from Ribbon, it seemed that her place in the crowd was noticed fairly quickly, and the girl seemed overjoyed to see that Nah was actually there for her. She was wildly flailing her arms around, waving at Nah while also pointing toward the spot in the stands where her small delegation of guests were sitting together. “Trust me, Ribbon, I know they’re here,” she muttered, doing as much as she could to get the girl to calm down and stop drawing so much attention to herself. “I only spent like thirty minutes talking to your brother before I came down here to my seat.”
“Oh, you know a student personally?” one of the teachers, who Nah had very little contact with previously, asked her. “Is it a cousin or a sibling?”
“A family friend, but she’s basically my sister at this point if we’re being honest.” Nah motioned with her head toward where Ribbon was still waving wildly, and the other teacher gasped softly. “Let me guess, you know her too?”
He nodded. “Ribbon was in my class three years ago. She’d told me a lot about her brother, but she never mentioned any sister-figures in her life. Must be a new position, hm?”
“I mean…I’ve only been friends with her brother for a long time, and my mom is friends with their mom. And thanks to all of the craziness in their lives, I ended up being responsible for getting her home once a week.” Nah’s shoulders rose as she felt a bit of pride, thinking about what she’d initially been so unwilling to do but had gradually learned to love. “So I’d say that’s worthy of being seen as an unofficial sister.”
“Ha, whatever you say.” He clasped a hand down on Nah’s shoulder, giving it a solid squeeze. “You’re a funny one, Dinah. No wonder the kids you’ve helped this year adore you as much as they do.”
Unsure of what to say to that, Nah decided that a simple thank you was best, and she went silent after that. A compliment on her likability wasn’t something she’d accounted for happening that day, in the list of weird things that were bound to happen during a school event where Ribbon was around. It wasn’t unappreciated, but it was unexpected.
For it being the fourth ceremony of that nature that week that Nah had been in attendance for, she was bored with the proceedings and truly only cared when Ribbon’s name was called and she was able to “cross over” from one school to the next. That girl sure did know how to work the stage, and she had her little cheering section going as loud as they could for her, but they were the only ones doing any cheering at all. It was obvious when she came down from the stage that the silence that came before and after her name was called was a huge letdown for Ribbon, but Nah thought that it showed one small improvement–the bullies hadn’t decided that they’d cause any sort of scene. In fact, Nah couldn’t be sure that any of those bullies were even there that day, probably thinking they were too cool to attend a ceremony about getting old enough to go to a different school.
It truly didn’t matter, though, because it was their loss of those memories and that moment of pride, getting to be recognized for years of hard work. Teenage years weren’t easy, so having something to celebrate before reaching them was a huge deal for a lot of these kids. And Ribbon, the sweet girl that she was, needed lots of fun and exciting things to get to celebrate, so this was naturally something that she’d been looking forward to. That reminded Nah that she needed to see Ribbon when the ceremony was over, to give her a little gift to commemorate the moment.
The whole thing felt like it dragged on into the middle of the afternoon, but eventually everyone was dismissed and the students were released to their parents to go home for break. Nah watched as Ribbon got on top of her chair and began looking around eagerly for where she was still sitting, but she shrunk herself down among the other teachers and staff so that she wouldn’t be spotted. That was because, when she’d seen that Ribbon was higher up, she also saw a familiar head of blonde ringlets styled in a posh way, something that caught her by surprise and marked a conversation she didn’t want to have. But if she was going to have to choose between seeing Ribbon and speaking with Maribelle, she was going to prefer the former but accept that the latter was what was about to happen. Especially since the latter choice was one that could weave through the crowd on her own and get to Nah.
Sure enough, as Ribbon was forced down from where she was standing and corralled back toward her family, Maribelle came closer and closer to where Nah was unfortunately stuck standing. She braced herself for what was to come, taking deep breaths and telling herself that the worst that could happen was the same sort of conversation that used to happen back in the school. “Fancy seeing you here, Dinah,” Maribelle called, making her final approach as she pushed past a few other staff members to get to in front of where Nah stood. “Did you have nothing better to do this afternoon?”
“You and I both know why I’m here, Maribelle,” Nah replied, a sour tone to her voice. “The better question is, why are you here?”
She rolled her eyes, reaching forward to touch Nah’s shoulder, only for Nah to take a step back to get away from her. “I think my presence here is very well explained, if you remember what my job in the school district is. As a member of the board—”
“Nope, not buying it.” Cutting her off, and ready to pick a fight now that it was clear Maribelle did not come to have a friendly conversation, Nah shook a finger in Maribelle’s direction. “If you’re going to pull the ‘I’m on the board’ card, then you can explain why you’ve chosen today, out of all four days, to come talk to me.”
“—well, ahem, it’s because I did not see you the other days. Were you here? That comes as a surprise to me, given that you wouldn’t have anyone to particularly cheer for at any of the other ceremonies.” Maribelle’s face forced a smile, which was so fake and sweet that it made Nah’s eye twitch to see. “But no matter, today is the day I saw you and decided to make my approach. Shall we step aside and speak privately?”
Eye still twitching, and body beginning to shake in frustration, Nah knew what she wanted to say, but she knew that causing a scene in the middle of the still-full event would only bring attention she didn’t want. “I’m not interested in speaking with you anywhere, Maribelle,” she said, trying to keep her voice level. “You can just turn around and have a nice rest of your day.”
“Oh, but I insist.” This time, when Maribelle reached to put her hand on Nah’s shoulder, she came right up into her personal space to make it happen, and the force with which she put her hand down was enough to make Nah wince. “In Naga’s name, I insist that this isn’t something bad or even negative. Just a conversation between two working women.”
Nah so badly wanted to jerk herself out of Maribelle’s grasp and flee the area, but she knew that things were too far gone for her to do anything more than submit. She longingly looked to where Ribbon had been escorted to her family, seeing the whole group of taguel and their associated people showering the girl with praise and love. “Can I at least congratulate Ribbon on what she accomplished here?” she asked.
“And what purpose would doing that have? She has people who are supposed to care for her and watch over her, and those people do not include you.” Gently motioning for Nah to step backward, Maribelle saw that she was still looking over in the direction of the stands and sighed, using the grip she had on her to push her back instead. “Come on, Dinah, let’s go somewhere where we won’t be watched and judged for our every word.”
She absolutely did not want to go with Maribelle. She knew that having a private conversation with the woman, especially after everything that had taken place, would result in a lot of anger and resentment. She couldn’t get out of it, though, given that she was already being held and it was obvious that she had some sort of rapport with Maribelle (especially to those who’d seen them interacting in the school before). “Fine, let’s go somewhere that we can talk. But I’m not interested in whatever you’re going to tell me to tear me down.”
“Always the negative one, Dinah. It’s a miracle that you lasted the entire year at the school with this dour outlook on life. How you’ve managed to bring positive vibes to struggling students, I’ll never understand.” As the two of them walked to the side of the room, back behind the staging area where no one was milling around, Maribelle loosened her grip, but by that point Nah was committed to being present for the conversation. “Did you ever consider the offer I gave you, by chance? The negativity may root you a bit better in the legal world than in the general education world.”
“I’ve thought about it, and I am completely disinterested in doing anything that puts me at your mercy.” Nah knew she could’ve worded that nicer, but she wasn’t going to let Maribelle have any chance of twisting her words into something she wasn’t going to say. “I have no desire whatsoever to interact with you on a regular basis, and given that I have no reason to do that right now, let’s keep it that way.”
Maribelle gave a fake sniffle, as the two came to stand in a lonely corner of the room. “Your words wound me, Dinah. When have I ever done something to deserve such hatred and negativity from you?”
“Do you need me to make you a list?” Nah looked at Maribelle, and the memories of the mom group coming to her house and overrunning her time with their doting behaviors came flooding back. Then came the aftermath of that situation, where the visits abruptly stopped because of the actual truth of the situation coming to light, and in that moment Nah realized that if Maribelle was holding any of that against her, certainly she would have been making that clear already. “A-actually, hold on,” she stuttered, the realization hitting her a bit too hard. “Why are you talking to me like an old friend?”
“Because there’s no reason for me to speak to you in any other way?”
“But what about…what happened with…aren’t you upset with me?”
Her nose turning up at the question, Maribelle huffed. “I suppose I should be upset with you, but I have had to do some real soul-searching and convening with Naga to bring myself to be able to meet you where you are. Naga’s grace and kindness has allowed me to be able to look you in the eyes and tell you, with complete honesty, that I forgive you for what happened. For the miscommunication and the misunderstanding and the poorly allotted kindness that I thrust onto you and your family.”
“That doesn’t sound all that forgiving to me, if you’re just going to throw all those things out at me like that. I hadn’t said anything about what happened because I didn’t want anyone knowing, and then it was completely out of my control how everyone reacted to it.” Nah puffed her chest out, before exhaling slowly, trying to keep herself as calm as she could while talking about that sensitive situation. “And then, I didn’t tell you to stop rallying your troops and getting people to come to the house, because Mom seemed to like some of the interactions and you…really seemed to like trying to help us out.”
“That’d be because of how much you’d started to mean to me, Dinah. Whether you realized it or not, you’d grown on me over the past months and I wanted to do what I could to protect you and make you feel better about things that had happened.” Her lips pursing together, Maribelle seemed to be thinking about something in particular but she shrugged it off entirely. “It was a slap to the face to find out that the reason we were stepping in and protecting you wasn’t the truth at all.”
“If I’d had my way, that never would’ve happened. I wasn’t going to tell anyone what had happened because it was such a stupid situation, but someone had other plans for it all.” Not that Nah was going to hold that against Noire, given the awkward position she’d been put into with everything. “I just wish that I’d never given him that power in the first place, then none of this would’ve happened…”
There was a second where Nah wished she had the strength to tack another thought on to what she’d said. She was speaking with the mother of the person she’d hurt most in everything, and she couldn’t even bring herself to voice how she regretted getting him involved in any of it. The truth was, and always had been, that Nah cared immensely about Brady and had only done what she’d done with Morgan as a way to cover up her feelings she’d been told weren’t worth anything. And now, given the opportunity to bring up her feelings again, she was ignoring them for the sake of conversation.
But Maribelle wasn’t stupid, and she could pick up on what was being left unsaid quite well, to the point that she had to turn away from Nah and let her shoulders drop. “It’s been rough being at home in the weeks since this all took place, what with a constantly-sobbing twenty-something living under my roof and all.”
“He’s crying all the time over this?” Nah’s chest tightened at the mere idea. “Please, Maribelle, don’t tell me that’s the truth.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s happening all the time, but a good majority of his waking and at-home time, yes.” Maribelle reached up and began to run her fingers through one of her well-kept ringlets, while still keeping her back toward Nah. “Not that you care about how he feels, though, given that you betrayed him so horrifically in all of this.”
“I didn’t…” Stopping herself from picking that argument, despite knowing that she hadn’t ever intentionally betrayed anyone, Nah let out a long sigh. “Look, if he’s wanted to talk about it, the avenue’s there for it. He’s got my number, he’s got all the ways in the world to speak to me. He’s even got my address, he can just show up at my front door and I’ll hear him out. He doesn’t need to feel like this.”
“And why, exactly, are you putting the need to clean up your mess on my son?” That was when Maribelle spun back around, a fierce look in her eyes as she stared Nah down. “He doesn’t have any reason to reach out to you and try to rebuild things, when you’re the one who destroyed everything from the start. If you want to patch things up, you need to be the one to say the first apology.”
Lower jaw shaking as she thought about how best to respond, Nah took a few seconds to let all of those words sink in before she said anything at all. “That’s totally right, thanks for telling me the obvious, Maribelle. Oh, right, except I have tried reaching out to him. You think I’ve gone all this time just ignoring what happened and pretending nothing went down, and just acting like I’ve suddenly gone silent on one of my closest friends? He’s been ignoring my messages. I’ve tried calling him a few times and he’s not answered even once. Brady has no interest in speaking to me if I’m the one starting the conversation.”
“That’s odd, given how he’s lamented the fact that you haven’t reached out…”
“Sounds like your son is trying to play the ‘woe is me’ card and you fell for it.” A bitter taste formed in Nah’s mouth, as she felt like her emotions and heart had just been callously toyed with by someone twice her age. “Tell him that if he really wants to patch things up between us, he needs to let it happen, not just say he wants it but refuse to make it work.”
She took a step back, seeing the frazzled look in Maribelle’s eyes as she tried to piece the truth of what was going on together. There was so much more that Nah wanted to add, but she figured leaving it where it had ended was the best option, until… “Dinah. Don’t just walk away without closure.”
“I’ve gotten all the closure I need right here,” Nah replied, spitting her words like they were laced in poison. “You enjoy the ceremony later today, I’ll see you at the schools next year.”
Without even entertaining the sputtering or the begging for her to come back, Nah headed out to see if she could find Ribbon and her family. There was no sign of the group inside the venue, and when she made it outside she couldn’t see them either. That was a situation that Nah did, in fact, want to get a last moment with, so the fact that there was no sign of anyone made her realize that her priorities had been forcibly shifted on her. She slowly stumbled toward the nearest bench, sitting down and putting her hands over her face.
“Thanks for denying me something that would mean the world to a little girl,” she muttered, thinking about how none of this would have happened had Maribelle not tried wrongly picking someone else’s battle. “Ribbon probably thinks that I’ve decided I don’t care about her after all, and that’s exactly what she doesn’t need in her life.”
“I wouldn’t say that she thinks that at all,” a voice behind Nah spoke up, and she lifted her head to see that it was Yarne standing there, looking like he’d been watching everything the whole time. “She’s expecting you over at our parents’ place for dinner, by the way.”
“What are you still doing here?” Nah asked, as her friend took a seat next to her on the bench. “And how did I manage to miss seeing you, mister tall guy?”
“You were distressed, you probably weren’t looking for me in specific, it happens.” After sitting down, Yarne reached over and wrapped Nah in a one-armed hug, as tightly as he could. “But I told everyone else I’d stay here and see if I could catch you coming out, just to personally pass Ribbon’s request on to you. She also gave me this hug to give you. Said you’d probably need it.”
At once, the waterworks began and Nah’s face was covered in tears that streamed from the corners of her eyes down to her chin. “There’s no reason that a twelve-year-old should be so caring toward an adult like me, but she’s…she’s a good kid. You’re lucky to have a sister like her, you know.”
“H-hey now, I can’t say that I’ve been the best brother for her over the years, but she’s gotten even luckier that she’s got a good older sister figure in her life like you.” It was clear based on how he was struggling to get his words out that Yarne was on the verge of tears himself, so Nah did him a favor and didn’t look up at him at all. “Now, uh, you’re coming to dinner, aren’t you?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Great. Can you give me a ride, in that case? I’m never ready to face death as your passenger but today’s a special occasion and I don’t have much of a choice.”
Despite her tears, Nah coughed out a laugh as she thought about how it always came back to her horrendous driving, no matter the situation. “Yeah, I can give you a ride. But can we just sit here for a few minutes? Enjoy each other’s company, reflect on what we’ve been through, that sort of thing? It’s been an emotional day for us all.”
One week from the encounter after the ceremony, something actually came of the conversation that had been shared with Maribelle, and Nah almost couldn’t believe it only took that long. She’d been fully prepared to wait months, if not years, for there to be any sort of follow-up to what had been said, and so when she found herself lounging on the couch the afternoon of the following Thursday, the TV on some movie channel playing “summer classics” she’d never heard of, she was not prepared to hear a knock at the door. “Probably another package Mom ordered,” she laughed, getting herself off the couch to go see what had been left outside, passing by a pile of boxes that were there for the same reason.
When she opened the door, Nah didn’t see a box or any sort of package, but instead a bouquet of flowers held out in her face. Slowly, she looked up to see Brady standing there, his arms trembling as he held the flowers as steady as he could. “Does this scream ‘sorry’ enough for you?” he asked, a bit of humor in his voice, and she was too stunned to respond in any way other than scuttling back inside and closing the door.
This was followed with aggressive knocking that only grew more intense as the moments passed. “Dinah, open back up, I’m just here to talk to you!” he called in a lull of the knocking, which she wanted to acknowledge but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Finally, after what felt like a small eternity, the knocks stopped, and Nah once again opened the door, this time just a crack to see that Brady was still there, still holding the flowers, still looking for her to speak with him. “Are ya gonna just keep the door like that, or is comin’ out here too much to ask from you?”
“I’ll stay like this for now, thanks,” she replied, not wanting to show her hand too early with the way this was set up. “Did your mom send you with those?”
“Uh, she gave me the pointers on what to look for when I went shoppin’ for them, but they were my idea.” He looked at the flowers and scrunched his nose. “I’m not a fan of them, if we’re bein’ honest. I bet I could’ve done better with pickin’ them out if I’d had more time.”
Nah thought about closing the door, locking it, and never looking back, but she decided she’d humor the conversation for a little while. “There wasn’t anyone saying how fast this needed to be done. You could’ve easily taken your sweet time looking for flowers you do like and getting them when you found them. So…since you rushed and got ones you don’t like, that obviously means you’ve got some reason for why you’re here.”
“I mean, ain’t it obvious?”
Blinking, Nah shook her head. “It’s not anywhere near as obvious as you’d think.”
“I know about you and Ma havin’ that conversation, and her tellin’ you all about how I’ve been feeling about everything since it all went down. I don’t think there’s really any reason for you to be playin’ stupid about it.” Brady thrust the flowers at where he could see the sliver of Nah’s face through the door. “Just open up and take these damn things before they start wiltin’ in my hands or something!”
“They’re already cut and wrapped, they’re on a timer of wilting anyway.” Nah closed the door and latched it, hearing the completely exasperated groan on the other side. She gave it a count of five before opening it back up, more than she had before, and offering her hand to take the flowers. “I’ve decided, I’ll take them if you’re not fond of them. Thanks.”
“Thanks? I come to talk to you after close to two months of no-contact and all I get is a thanks? Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to Ma about you and I should’ve just stayed to myself like I’ve been.” Still, even with that statement, Brady handed the flowers over, only for Nah to toss them onto the closest end table she could access without needing to go back inside. “Yeah, this wasn’t worth my time. Enjoy your flowers, Dinah.”
This time, Nah let him turn away and start back toward his car, giving it a count to three before she dashed after him, grabbing one of his arms when she got close enough. “When did I say I didn’t appreciate them? That bouquet’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen, my noodle arms weren’t going to last five minutes holding that thing. Come on, turn around and get back to talking to me about whatever brings you here.”
He jerked his arm out of her grasp, but stopped moving forward. “It’s not anythin’ important. Sorry for wastin’ your time today, Dinah, enjoy your life and all that stuff. I’m goin’ home.”
“Clearly it was important if you came to talk to me after nearly two months,” she reminded him, using his own timeline to make her point. “And based on what I talked to your mom about, I think it’s something to do with how much you miss me, so…”
His shoulders rose and fell, him shaking his whole body to try and rid himself of that notion. “I never said I miss you. There’s a lot of things about you I miss, but you yourself? Can’t say that you’re missable at all.”
“Uh huh, and the giant bouquet of flowers says otherwise so just come back and we can talk.” Again Nah grabbed his arm, pulling it back toward the house, but Brady dug his feet into the ground and made it incredibly hard for her to move him even a little bit. Eventually he relented and followed her back to the door, where they once again took their positions they’d had at the start. With her body in the house and her head looking out the front door, Nah smiled at Brady, who looked displeased with being where he was. “So, what’s the reason you’re here?”
“For an apology.”
“And who needs to apologize, do you think?”
He blankly stared at her, mouth agape as he looked for how to respond to that. “You do. You’re the one who did those things and said that stuff to Morgan without clueing me in to any of it in the first place.”
Nah felt like she’d tried justifying herself so many times, and that she’d done all she could to explain her reason for why she’d done what she had. But as she looked at Brady, seeing the pain and confusion that resided in his eyes, even if the rest of him seemed like it was trying to be detached from the situation, she decided that explaining her side again wasn’t what she needed to do. In that moment, she accepted that no matter her intentions, no matter what she’d meant by her actions, she hadn’t been successful in getting what she wanted and she’d hurt someone dear to her in the process. “I’m sorry, for all of it,” she said, knowing that she’d just given one of the shoddiest apologies in the history of mankind. “And there’s a lot for me to be sorry for.”
“I just want to understand why you did it,” he replied, clearly prodding her to elaborate. “Like, there was no real reason for ever doin’ any of that, no matter what you thought was goin’ on.”
“I felt rejected by you, and turned that rejection into a sense of needing to feel like I belonged somewhere. Needing to feel like I belonged with someone. Needing to feel love and affection from someone.” This was stuff Nah knew she’d explained already, at least once to a listening pair of ears, but she knew that Brady needed to hear it in that moment. “You’d told me that you’d never see me as more than a friend, and jokingly made that marriage pact with me just to get me off your back. But I…I did see you as more than a friend, and I wished you’d see me the same way. You didn’t, though, so I looked elsewhere.”
“Me tellin’ you that wasn’t done in the way that I meant for it to come out, and I went home cursin’ myself for sayin’ it in the first place.” Brady bit down on his tongue, reluctant to say more until he caught Nah’s eye. She was staring at him, her mouth opened slightly in shock at this new revelation. “Well, it’s the truth. You wanna know why?”
“It doesn’t matter if I want to know why or not, I know you’re going to tell me.”
He gave a soft chuckle. “Right, ‘course I am. I’d been dealin’ a lot with old friends that week, and those old friends had some pretty high expectations and standards for me. You think what Ma wants for me is bad? Ask Sev what she wants for me, it’s an entirely different thing and none of it makes any sense.”
At mention of that name, Nah’s eyes narrowed. “Severa…somehow I should’ve known she was involved in this. Maybe I should’ve really listened to her sloppy seconds comment and taken that to heart, obviously she didn’t want me messing around with you.”
“Because she’s a jealous, insecure bitch who doesn’t understand that this world ain’t about her and what she wants,” Brady said, not a lick of remorse in those words. “Took me a while to realize that listenin’ to her when she went runnin’ out the country without a goodbye isn’t the smartest thing, but by then you’d already gotten all buddy-buddy with Morgan and I felt that my chances to pull you were next to none.”
“But you didn’t know that I was only that close with him, because I was trying to move on from wanting that closeness with you.” It clicked, in some ways, but in other aspects it felt like Brady was just trying to cover his tail and justify things with unrelated points. Nah didn’t care, though, as she now knew something she’d been hoping for. For the first time, she had a solid confirmation that the object of her affections had, at least at some point, an interest in her.
They stood there, looking at each other with nothing else to say, for quite some time. Every time one of them would move to speak, they’d think better of it and go back to standing silently. The world around them kept moving, with cars going down the street and the occasional sound of sirens or planes breaking the air in the distance. This was a detriment to their position, though, as one of those cars came up to the house and someone else had their chance to enter the conversation.
“Dinah, you’re not thinking of inviting this boy into our house, are you?” Nowi asked as she came up to the door, her arms full with groceries. “He’s a charming one, but his mother’s a lot to handle and I don’t think I want to have to spend more time with her than I already do. No offense to you, Brady.”
“None taken, Mrs. Balakin,” he replied, bowing his head in Nowi’s presence while she headed inside with her purchases. When she was seemingly out of earshot, he added, “Although if Ma was here like she’d wanted to be, she would’ve been pretty offended at that one on her own.”
“Your mom wanted to be here for this?” Nah asked, not actually surprised in the slightest to hear that. “Doesn’t she know how to give her adult son a break sometimes? She’s, like, the world’s worst helicopter parent, and that’s big coming from me, given that I…” She gestured toward the interior of the house. “Yeah. That’s my mom, that’s what I get to live with on a daily basis.”
Snorting in amusement, Brady said, “Nah, you’ve probably spent more time with Ma than most people I know, you’re fully aware of how much hoverin’ she does on the regular. It’s actually a surprise that she hasn’t driven up while I’m standin’ here just to see how things are goin’ for me.”
“Ugh, I’d really rather her not show up and make this more awkward than it already is, but my mom’s here and she’ll have our heads if I let you inside out of nowhere.” Nah reached up and tapped at her chin, thinking about what there was to do to solve that problem. “I mean, we could sneak in and head upstairs super stealthily, but Mom has this thing about coming and checking on me in my room, and I’m not exactly sure you’d be able to hide under my bed.” She hoped that the implication there was that he wouldn’t fit, not that there was something under the bed that she didn’t want found by someone else.
“I have an idea, actually. You down to go somewhere with me?” She really wasn’t, given that she was wearing some ratty shorts that honestly had seen the best days of their life years ago, and her shirt was one of her favorites for lounging, but she didn’t want to run inside to change and allow for her mother to come out and cause chaos. So, despite knowing what the answer should’ve been, she nodded. “Okay, cool. Let’s go to the park or the store or something, just to get away from all this.”
The details were a little fuzzy, and Nah wasn’t actually sure how that idea turned into its final outcome, but half an hour later they were sitting in the parking lot outside the donut shop, an order of donuts and coffee sitting between them. “There’s no way my mom will suspect we came here,” Nah laughed, knowing incredibly well that the donut shop would be Nowi’s first place to go check if she truly cared about what her daughter was up to. “And as long as we’re sitting in here, we’re able to talk about whatever we want.”
“Yeah…not exactly sure what it is we wanna talk about, but the door’s open for whatever it might be.” Brady looked at Nah with a small smile, before turning his attention out his window and down at the newest building along the road. “Hey, while we’re here, you wanna pop in and see if Laurent’s working? I ain’t seen him since the last time we all got together. Seen Noire a few times, but not him.”
“That’s weird, I’ve seen them almost weekly since everything went down.” At once, Nah realized that she hadn’t had the chance to tell Brady about their weekly get-togethers and how he was on the invite list if he wanted to come. “We’re playing a new campaign, with Ribbon and Yarne and their dad. You can join us, we can always use more players!”
Brady seemed amused to hear the offer. “I’ll think about it. Honestly part of the fun of playin’ was seein’ all of our friends on the regular, so gettin' to see a few of them again will be pretty nice. Mind if I bring back Byacek or do I need to make a new guy?”
“We all made new characters for this, but you’re welcome to bring him back if you really want to. None of us are dragons, just like last time, so his niche still exists if you’re interested in filling it.” Nah conveniently left out the part where she’d explicitly requested everyone stay away from picking dragon characters, on the off chance that Brady wanted to do exactly what he’d asked about. “But I mean, you can make a new dragon too, if you’d want.”
“Like I said, I’ll think about it.” He fiddled with his thumbs for a moment, eyes still looking down the street, before he slammed one hand down on his thigh. “I’ve decided, I’ll do it, but I’ll make a new character for the occasion. You playin’ as a lady again?”
“Sure am, why do you ask?”
His head slowly turned to look toward her, a smile creeping across his face. “So that we can get into character with some romantic tension if needed, that’s all.”
“We literally have a preteen and her father in the group, I don’t know if it’d exactly be appropriate to be playing characters lusting over each other in their presence, but…” Nah trailed off, the meaning of Brady’s words hitting her like a truck. “Hold on. Why would we be playing our characters with romantic tension? We never did that before.”
“That’s because doin’ that in Morgan’s presence just felt weird. Trust me when I say that I wanted to work it in over and over, but him havin’ to react to it kept me from ever makin’ the move.” That was when Brady took one hand and reached over to Nah with it, placing it on her arm and squeezing it tightly. “Now that we’re not worryin’ about having to keep up appearances or factor in other people’s opinions, I think it’s time we get to do what our hearts are tellin’ us to do.”
She could feel the pressure he was putting on her arm, coexisting with the meaning of the words he’d just spoken. There was little Nah wanted more in the world than to feel like she belonged somewhere, with someone, and splitting donuts and drinks from her favorite place in someone else’s car while they talked about a game that mattered immensely to them both felt like she’d found what she was looking for. “I’m still interested in our previous arrangement, if you don’t mind me bringing that up,” she said, her voice quiet. “Twenty-seven, I think we’d agreed on.”
“That’s what we’d last said, sure,” he replied, sliding his hand down her arm until he was able to lace his fingers in hers. “But I’ve been thinkin’ about that, in all this time we’ve been not talkin’ to each other. It never really was about tax benefits and bein’ there for the other if no one else was, was it?”
“I…don’t think it was, no.”
“If we’d actually gotten old enough to reach the age we’d decided, there was no way Naga wasn’t gonna have smacked us both upside the head and told us to marry for love, not just so we can make a bit more money.” When Brady squeezed this time, it was holding Nah’s hand firmly, and she felt his warmth begin to course through her veins. “So I’m decidin’ right now that this agreement we had is over and done with. Null and void, whatever legal talk Ma would use if she knew the details.”
“Are we replacing it with something else?” Nah asked, feeling a bit betrayed that they’d gotten this far into the talks, only for Brady to snatch the thing she’d been holding onto like a crutch away from her. “Or is this just the end of all that?”
He paused, as if considering his alternative not worth speaking, before he pulled on her arm and turned her toward him there in the front seat of his car. “Well, normal people in normal relationships don’t give themselves some sort of ‘we’ve gotta be married by this time’ limit, so we’re just gonna do without that. But, if we were to decide we wanted to do one of those limits anyway, I was kinda thinkin’ we could go with twenty-six. That’s not too far out.”
“Not too far—Brady, that’s two years from now!”
His face lit up with a giant grin, eyes scrunching at his amusement. “Two years is plenty of time to decide if we’re doin’ this for real or not, don’t you think?”
She was conflicted, because it was plenty of time, certainly, but they weren’t even officially anything so it felt like it could be rather rushed. “I mean, if we’re saying that it’s two years from today, I guess it’ll be enough time.”
“Ah, so you’re goin’ right along with me, I like that. Then let’s just make this new agreement a bit official, shall we?” He leaned in to kiss her, which she was initially hesitant to reciprocate, until she realized that if they were serious about this commitment, then this kiss would only be the first of many. As they locked lips, one of their elbows knocked into the radio and the car became filled with the sounds of generic pop music, singing lyrics that would have gone otherwise ignored, except the fact that they were basically describing the situation Nah had come out of to the letter.
When they broke apart, the music was immediately shut off and they shared a laugh, a donut, and another kiss or two.