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Chapter 13: 09 - Halloween

Summary:

What the characters do for Halloween. They are from their original universes, but they're at your house in the middle of civilization, because why wouldn't you bring a cultist, mad doctor, and groom home with you? :P

Drabble-esque versions of my headcanons on Tumblr.

In Eddie's section, you go as Jessica Rabbit, BUT it's implied that you're given just a costume, not a dress, so you can be the genderbend version if you're a dude or under the dude umbrella. Or if you like suits in general. Also if you said Jesse Rabbit [the gender neutral version], I don't think he'd know what that is lol.

Val is also naked. So, like...yeah. Lol. When are they not.

Notes:

"But Wednesdays, it's November!"
[THIS IS HALLOWEEN PLAYS ON LOUDSPEAKER] CAN'T HEAR YOU DON'T CARE RATIO PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE SWEENEY TODD ON REPEAT SCREAM PORN OPENED ON AO3 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Miles Upshur

"...Miles. Would you mind explaining why there's a giant phallus in our bedroom?"

Even whilst focusing on footage from Murkoff, Miles begins snickering, pursing his lips to hide his laughter. "Whatever are you talking about?" He questioned, his eyes on the camera. With a twitch of your eye you asked him once more, "Miles, do not toy with me...Walrider is poking a giant phallus in our bedroom. He wants to-"

"Ride it? I mean, what?"

"I will beat your ass in a minute if you don't explain the mystery phallus to me."

Miles then sighed, feigning a look of hurt, "You don't know the phallus? It was modeled after mine, you know." "Oh, so that's why it's small."

Miles shot a look at you, "Ha. Amusing, babe. But it's our Halloween costume."

With a scoff, you narrowed your eyes, "Our? I thought we were going as Beetlejuice and Lydia." "Mmm, true, but that doesn't mean we can't wear both. You know, I go as Beetle under the shaft..."

"...Beetlejuice is kind of a dick head, isn't he?" You questioned, putting a finger to your chin, and the man merely smirked, "You get me, hun."

 

Waylon Park

"I got your size, right?"

Waylon walked into the room holding two couple costumes, his eyes looking them over, and you looked at him from your place on the couch. With a satisfied grin, you nodded, "yeah. They look great, Waylon."

His smile was soft as he laid them on the back of the couch, and he sat down beside you, an arm moving to pull you close to him. "Good. I'm excited to go out tonight."

"You sure you wanna go out and hand out candy?" You raised a brow, "we'll be doing a lot of walking...there's gonna be kids everywhere."

Waylon huffed a laugh, "Honey, I've outrun several freaks from an asylum, I think I can walk around."

And that he did. 

 

Blake Langermann

Seeing as you lost a bet with your friends, you had to go as a nun for Halloween. Blake fainted after gasping "Marta", and refused to tell you who Marta was once he woke up. You assume it was an old girlfriend...or a nun who made him confess after breaking a vase. Who knows. 

After that fiasco, he made you wear a Scooby Doo costume underneath. Scooby Doo as a nun made him feel better. 

 

Richard Trager

"Alright, honey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," you announced, walking out of the closet wearing your costume, "let me just-"

You stopped upon seeing Richard wearing a fake martini glass. He scoffed, "baby, I thought we were  going as an olive and martini!"

"Yeah, but that was until you said you'd hand out bags of Sprite!" You dusted yourself off, glaring at him. "We might as well look good while we disappoint children."

"No no no, I promise, that was a joke. Now put on the olive, we'll surprise everybody. Please?" He questioned, fluttering his lashes. With an eye roll, you gave in, and walked back into the closet.

"No. They'll be getting these instead," Richard smirked, waving around some small, travel bottles of vodka. Why did you bother with this man, exactly?

 

Eddie Gluskin

"Here is your Jessica Rabbit costume, dear," Eddie muttered, handing you the glittery red custom costume he spent a week on making. With a hum of thanks, you kissed his cheeks, resulting in a grin to form on his face. "And here's my Roger Rabbit costume."

He stuck some rabbit ears onto his head, and the man looked far too excited for you to correct him on what Roger looks like. He was like a kid on Christmas- erm...Halloween morning.

"Do we have everything ready?" You asked, and he nodded, grabbing a bowl. "Indeed. Full sized for everybody. Even the adults."

You nodded, pleased. 

 

Val

You merely sighed, "Val, we cannot go outside naked."

"Why not, dear?" The blonde questioned, their breasts and genitals on display as they leaned against the doorway with a smirk, "We're going as a nudists."

"Halloween is going as something we're not, and you're already a nudist." You massaged your temples, "You scared the pizza guy last night. He wasn't expecting breasts and a BDSM collar in his face."

"Oh, did I? I had no idea scaring somebody resulted in them asking for my number," they cooed, walking over. "But worry not, I threw it out. You're mine and I'm yours."

You sighed, somewhat relieved; despite her past of having several lovers, she was loyal to you. Things have changed. "I love you, Val."

"I love you more," they chuckled, looking down at you. Their smirk returned, this time mischievous, "now come on, let's go as Adam and Eve." 

"Uh," you questioned, "they're naked, too. And you hate Adam and Eve."

"I don't hate their nudity."

Fucking hell, Val. 

Notes:

THIS IS HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

So TIL that they remade Beetlejuice because there's Beetlejuice fanta being sold at grocery stores. It tastes like ass, y'all. "How do you know what ass tastes like" BECAUSE I DRANK THE BEETLEJUICE SODA 😭😭😭🤢🤢🤢

Jokes aside it tastes like carbonated apple and cinnamon oatmeal. Not my cup of tea, but to each their own. If you like drinking liquid ass, that's none of my business 😊 [I'm joking again but kudos to you if you do enjoy it. It would definitely taste better if it wasn't carbonated. A milk beverage, maybe??]

Apologies for my absence; IRL stuff be stuffing. A close friend of mine also died, and his family isn't paying for him to have a funeral or a tombstone, so I've been working on getting him a plot and a homemade cross with his name on it or something. Being an adult sucks.

Humans can be gross, folks. People like my friend's family is a good example of that. Also Outlast kinda proves that by mocking governments. Crazy how most of us would be in asylums if we existed just 100 years ago lmfao.

Oh, and if you've read this far; I do not condone Trager giving out alcohol to kids, obviously. But you know damn well he'd do it and say it's "water".