Chapter Text
It’s a slow night. No one has commented on it yet, since none of them want to jinx it, but all have been luxuriating in the quiet.
“Since when does DC have a branch in Gotham?” Tim’s voice suddenly breaks the silence.
“What is this DC? Is it a new terrorist organization? I have not heard of them,” Damian asks.
“No, it’s a coffee shop, most people call it DC Coffee, but the C already stands for coffee, so that’s stupid,” Tim explains. “They were never in Gotham before.”
“Ugh, of course you wouldn’t just call it DC Coffee, because you’re a pretentious ass,” Steph rolls her eyes. “What sort of monstrosity do you order?”
“I don’t order a monstrosity,” Tim says offended.
“Yes, you do,” Jason inserts himself into the conversation. “It’s literally called the Death Wish and it’s the only chain that serves it. Of course you’re excited it’s here.”
“Shut up,” Tim hisses, but it’s overshadowed with multiple concerned family members preemptively banning him from entering. Bruce even considers buying it, so he can quite literally ban Tim.
“My coffee intake is not that bad!” Tim shouts over the noise. “No one in the family is normal about caffeine, I just get singled out for it. It’s unfair. Let me go to my favorite coffee shop in peace. I usually only get to go there on bus…” Tim falls silent suddenly.
After two beats, a concerned Dick tentatively asks: “Are- are you good, Baby Bird? What’s happening?”
Ignoring Dick, Tim asks: “Hood, how the fuck did you know what I order? You’re literally never there when I do, because I only get to on business trips or when I’m at Titan Tower.”
Jason is quiet.
“Oh my god, have you been stalking me? You’ve totally been stalking me,” Tim exclaims, torn between disturbed and delighted.
“No, I haven’t,” Jason protests, but Tim ignores him.
“After weeks of calling me a stalker and a creeper, here you are, doing the exact same. I can’t believe the hypocrisy!” Tim goes on.
“I wasn’t stalking you!” Jason yells, hoping to be louder than Tim to shut him up.
It works. Tim falls quiet. But then Steph asks: “Then why do you know his coffee order in a chain you’ve never seen him go to. Even I didn’t know that and I dated him.”
“Yes, how did you obtain this information without observation?” Damian inquires.
Jason is quiet for a second, then says: “Okay, so it wasn’t without observation, but observation and stalking isn’t the same at all.”
“It totally is,” Tim exclaims indignantly.
“No, it’s not,” Jason argues. “I was observing your routine so I could break in and kill you, that’s not at all the same as running around at night, because you’re a creepy looser, whose only human interaction is through a camera lens.”
“Okay, harsh,” Tim says.
“Yeah, way too harsh. I mean, I agree with you and I love ragging on Red Bridie-boy here, but that’s- that’s a lot,” Steph says, a jikes in her voice.
“Alright, yeah, you’re right, sorry, that was too much,” Jason agrees. “But I still think it’s not the same.”
“It totally is,” Tim says, easily forgiving the harsh words. They truly have gotten closer. Then he proceeds to be a little shit by crowing: “Stalker, stalker, stalker. Red Hood is a stalker.”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” Jason chants, trying and failing to drown him out.
“No. Creeper, creeper,” Tim starts up, Steph having no trouble joining in, despite not even agreeing with Tim.
“One of my plans was fucking poisoning you with your coffee order. I can dust that plan off, if you don’t stop right the fuck now,” Jason threatens.
“Still a stalker,” Tim singsongs, before turning off his com. He hasn’t taken Jason’s threat seriously in ages, he wonders when that happened.