Chapter Text
The assembled forces of Heaven and Hell faced each other across the celestial plain, exactly where Hell had stopped the advance of Heaven to Earth in what marked the first battle of the current war. Both armies looked out with concern at their opposite number. Really, they had all had enough and the events of the last few hours had rocked both realms to their core. Everyone in Heaven was beyond terrified of Aziraphale and the same was true of Crowley and Hell. The higher angels and demons were all wishing fervently that they had done as the other two had wanted and left them alone, but it was far too late for that.
Aziraphale, resplendent in his armour, turned to Michael and Uriel and said “Remember what I said. Do not move, no matter what you think you see. You do not yet understand. If you move, I will annihilate you and you risk the utter destruction of Heaven. Do you understand?”
“Yes, your Grace,” they said in unison, looking deeply worried.
Aziraphale strode forward and stopped exactly half way between the two armies. He couldn’t see Crowley yet. There was a ripple of movement among Hell’s ranks and he saw the demon moving forward. He couldn’t see him in detail but he could feel him coming closer. Aziraphale’s breath caught when he did finally see him. He stood, not in armour, but in dark, tight trousers similar to those he had favoured in recent years on Earth and a light black shirt, open to about a third down his chest with his sword buckled at his waist. Draped around his shoulders was a long, lush black cloak, trimmed with red the colour of fresh blood. And he wore a crown that seemed to be the very absence of light. He looked incredible and dangerous beyond words. His hair was short again. Aziraphale relaxed a little.
“Supreme Archangel,” boomed Crowley’s voice, audible to every being in both armies, “Welcome.”
Aziraphale gulped slightly. “Lord of Hell, welcome.”
Crowley was now standing before him, a little less than an arm’s distance away. He looked into the demons eyes and found them inscrutable. He opened himself to the soul gem and felt a flood of emotions – worry, sadness and love. The guilt was gone. It didn’t help. It was what he would feel no matter the outcome of his plan. He had to trust him. But oh if something had happened or if he had cold feet about his betrayal… well then, Aziraphale supposed he would probably die. He sighed. A sudden flood of love pulsed in the soul gem and he smiled slightly.
Crowley continued to look at him impassively. They had agreed the order. Aziraphale was regretting that now but then again he probably owed it to the demon. Maybe. Aziraphale took a deep breath and said, “Today we end the war. We are agreed.”
“Yes,” said Crowley.
“Yes,” nodded Aziraphale and he knelt gracefully to gasps of horror from Heaven. Crowley extended his left hand and Aziraphale took it in his right hand. “I surrender,” said Aziraphale, “and I pledge myself and Heaven to you, Crowley, Lord of Hell. I take you as my soul’s mate for eternity.” Cries of “No!” and “Traitor!” drifted over from Heaven’s armies but, almost incredibly they did not move. Cries of jubilation and confusion came from Hell.
Crowley stood looking down at Aziraphale for a moment, not speaking and not moving. Then he said, “I accept your surrender.” And to the shock of Heaven and Hell he knelt and extended his right hand. Aziraphale feeling a flood of relief that he knew he was not going to hid from the demon, and that he would hear about later, extended his left hand. Crowley’s voice boomed out over both armies. “I surrender and I pledge myself and Hell to you, Aziraphale, Supreme Archangel of Heaven. I take you as my soul’s mate for eternity.” A small ring, black as night and emblazoned with snake scales appeared on the ring finger of Aziraphale’s left hand at the same time as a brilliantly white ring with the impression of angel’s feathers appeared on the same finger on Crowley’s left hand. They embraced and kissed gently in front of all of Heaven and Hell.
Confusion and anger was now emanating from both sides. Aziraphale and Crowley stood up, holding only one of each other’s hands, and looked out at the two furious armies. Crowley gestured to the dark council and Aziraphale to Michael and Uriel. The small group gathered around the newly linked Supreme Archangel and Lord of Hell.
“What are you doing?” demanded Shax and Michael together and then glared at each other. Crowley smiled at them both. “Getting married and ending the war. I never said winning it, I said ending it. Not our fault none of you saw this coming. It’s not an uncommon way to end or prevent conflicts on Earth, historically.” The demons and angels looked between each other utterly confused. “What?” said Uriel and Hastor together.
“This has gone on long enough and the entire set up isn’t working and hasn’t been for a long time,” said Aziraphale. “I will be working to undo much of what has been done on Earth for years. We will return the balance of choice to the humans but we are going to give it to us, angels and demons, too. The offer remains for demons to re-join Heaven but as themselves, not altered to what they were before. We also intend to extend the offer to angels. “What?!” said Michael. “Are you utterly mad? Why would any of us chose Hell? No one wants to Fall!”
“Not Fall, never that,” said Crowley softly. He continued with more heat, “but frankly a lot of angels are nasty pieces of work who would probably be a lot happier being bastards in Hell. And a lot of demons, well, most of them have just been doing their jobs for the last several thousand years. They’re not even particularly unpleasant, a lot of them and a change of venue might suit some. That is the choice you have to make yourselves.”
Aziraphale rolled his eyes, “That’s really not how I would put it at all. What we propose is the following. The souls are the point – the human souls. What they learn, do and chose. Then they end up either in Heaven or Hell. We also, both sides, have a role in keeping the universe working and that can be done through the magics of creation or destruction. When they are all in balance things work well. So, all angels and demons will be offered the opportunity to spend some time on Earth in rotation. Observing, not interfering but learning what life, humans and the world are all about. Then you will be better able to fulfil your roles and more understanding of the experience of humans. You can chose – if you chose to see the good in them and want to help and nurture them you go to Heaven. If you see the nasty side, the cruelty and malice and the terrible things they are capable of, you can go to Hell and punish them. Angel or demon, you will be welcomed in either realm but you will follow the rules of whichever place you are in. We would also encourage you to get to know each other again. A long time ago, we knew each other but we have all changed and grown. We need to reunite as the celestial guardians of existence. That is what we propose. Well, we’re not exactly asking but you can always cause another war if you really want. If you do, we will leave you to it. You cannot take us unaware and all of the most powerful of you are bound to one or the other of us so we will be long gone before you are able to do anything to us. And we are stronger than any of you when we are together anyway – you already know that.”
The higher angels and demons stood stunned. Their instinct was to rebel against this most bizarre plot and odd betrayal by both of their leaders but… “It makes a kind of sense,” said Michael who was thinking that a bit of approved smiting might be just the ticket to get over the stress of the last few years. “It could work, it could work quite well,” said Shax, thinking about a return to London. They all looked at each other and felt the inevitable click into place.
“Would… would we be allowed to do what you have done?” asked Uriel.
“What do you mean?” asked Crowley but Aziraphale smiled and said “Yes, of course you are allowed once you both wish to make the same choice. You should discuss it in private before you announce it to anyone else. I will bless the union if you wish.”
“What union?” said Crowley confused.
“Nothing, hush,” said Aziraphale smiling between Uriel and a slightly blushing Michael.
“If you all agree, on both sides, then you will take it to the legions and the hosts and tell them what is going to happen. For now, only a few angels and demons will be allowed on Earth and we will need some experienced people there to help the new ones settle in. We have a full plan and will tell you when things have settled down a little. When tempers have cooled.”
“Are you both going to rule in Heaven and Hell then?” asked Hastor maliciously. “You won’t like it down there blondy. Unless you get off on demons torturing souls or something. Maybe you like to watch, is that it? All prim and proper in public; bet there’s nothing you say no to in private.” Crowley rolled his eyes and letting go of Aziraphale’s hand with a quick squeeze, moved over to Hastor and backhanded him across the face. Hastor fell on his back with the force of the blow. “Don’t speak to him with anything less than the full respect deserving of your Lord’s husband. One warning, never a second.” Aziraphale didn’t bat an eyelid. He knew that Crowley would need to exert control and trusted him to do it the right way with the demons, just as Crowley trusted him to do it the right way with the angels. Hastor held his broken nose and rose to his knees. “I apologise my Lord, Supreme Archangel.”
“I forgive you,” said Aziraphale quickly to forestall any more problems. He didn’t notice tears appearing in Hastor’s eyes. Crowley resisted the urge to point out to Aziraphale that he had just broken the demon completely. Forgiveness from the ruler of Heaven, so easily given to a creature long told he was utterly unforgivable. Crowley almost felt sorry for him. He knew how that could feel.
“Aziraphale and I will be up and down to Heaven and Hell to make sure that you are all doing what you should be and to keep things running. But we will be based on Earth. You will be able and, indeed required, to send us updates very regularly. The bookshop will act as Heaven’s embassy with Muriel remaining as ambassador and we have found a suitable location, a bar in Soho, for Hell’s ambassador. Shax ideally I would like you to take up your roll there again but you will need to stay on as Archduke for the time being. Eriks can be vice-Ambassador in your stead.” Shax beamed, delighted with this outcome and what she knew full well was a reward. “We will be available in both locations regularly but none of you are welcome to just pop in to our home, where we will spend much of our time. In an emergency Muriel or Eriks can come but anyone else turns up unannounced and you will find yourself either in very hot holy water or playing with fire. Clear?”
They all nodded. Liking the sound of this new arrangement. It had a lot of potential.
“Your home? Where will that be?” asked Michael.
“Never you mind,” smiled Aziraphale reclaiming Crowley’s hand. “Since we are all agreed, you should all return to your current sides and explain the new reality to them all. We will give you all a few days to acclimatise and we will be back.” Aziraphale and Crowley disappeared, leaving the higher angels and demons to sort out the armies and return them to Heaven and Hell.
***
Two years later
“I really don’t know that shouting at them makes them grow any better, my dear,” said Aziraphale smiling at his demon who was berating unruly roses in the garden of their South Downs cottage.
“It does. These ones are just stubborn. When do you want to go up to London next?”
“I was thinking Friday. We can check in with the embassies and then maybe go for dinner and a show?”
Crowley smiled happily. “Sounds lovely. We should try some of Eriks and Shax’s new cocktails and then the Ritz?”
“Ooh yes, we haven’t been there in ages.”
Crowley straightened and walked towards Aziraphale who was leaning against the trunk of one of their apple trees, looking very tempting indeed. “Things seem to be going along fine”, said the demon. “Several angels are now proving very efficient in Hell and the two demons brave enough to try Heaven are enjoying themselves. Though I have to say, I never imagined Hastor would go up. You ruined him when you offered forgiveness, you know that, don’t you?”
“Oh Crowley, he just wanted to try something different. He’s doing very well. Though I admit that I am a bit surprised too. Oh, I expect that we will have a wedding to attend soon. Uriel finally spoke to me about blessing her and Michael.”
“Will that work ok with Uriel in Heaven and Michael in Hell? They’re doing… disturbingly well down there. They're pushing for one of the vacant seats on the Dark Council. I’m keeping an eye on them in case they decide to move against me.”
“Oh they won’t. They’re still terribly intimidated by you. And yes, they will be fine. They will spend time in both realms. They are both thriving. It’s gratifying. And the new Light Council is working well, even if they are doing their best to drive me mad. It's a good structure. But you know… in time….”
“It will be a long time Angel but maybe, yes maybe we can retire someday. I honestly don’t know if that’s even possible for me, bonded to Hell as I am. But for now, and for a long time to come, we owe everyone our time and support to make this work. We upended everything on them. We need to see it though.”
“I know. And at least we are here and together most of the time.”
Crowley closed the remaining distance between them and enfolded Aziraphale in a gentle embrace. “Forever, for eternity my love.”
The Lord of Hell and the Supreme Archangel of Heaven kissed under their own apple tree in their own garden and, as kisses turned to more, they were serenaded by nightingales that they didn’t notice at all.