Archive of Our Own ^beta

For whatever reason, during summer break, Saiki is nearly impossible to drag out of the house. 

It’s not like he’s easy to hang out with normally, but during summer break, he clings to his solitude like it’s a second skin. Even bribes don’t work like they normally do- it normally only takes one cup of coffee jelly to get him to come out for ramen, but during summer break, it can take up to ten. No one’s really sure why he gets so stubborn, but it does put a damper on a lot of their plans. 

Teruhashi won’t settle for a whole month without seeing Saiki’s face, though. Even if it stings to admit, she knows that she’ll miss him if he stays shut in for the entirety of summer break. A beach day is the perfect excuse to drag him out! Not only will he get to come hang out with her (and the rest of their friends too), but she’s even specifically chosen a day that the shaved ice stand will be open- they’ve got coffee-flavored shaved ice! He won’t be able to turn down the chance to hang out and get dessert, and by the end of the day he’ll be unable to hold in the oh, wow! that’s been building up inside of him for the entire year. Hopefully.

To ensure the success of her plan, she’s recruited Yumehara, Mera, Kuboyasu, Kaidou, Nendou, and Hairo to come and coax Saiki out of the house. Hopefully he’s in a good mood- and if he’s not, then she’s got backup plans. 

“Alright, here we are!” Teruhashi chirps, the perfect picture of a perfectly pretty girl as she flounces up to Saiki’s doorbell. “He’ll be so glad to see us, I’m sure!”

“Of course,” Kaidou chuckles, splaying his hand across his face dramatically. “He’ll be so touched that we came to invite him to the beach personally that he’ll be struck speechless, and he’l just stand in the doorway with a blank expression on his face.”

“Yeah!” Nendou agrees cheerfully. “He might be so excited that he forgets to move! And slams the door in our faces!”

“If that happens, I’ll carry him and my surfboard!” Hairo announces, lifting the surfboard he’s holding above his head up and down. “While walking backwards!”

“If all else fails, we’ll bribe him with the coffee-flavored shaved ice,” Kuboyasu says gravely. He might be the only one here besides Teruhashi who understands just how challenging the battle ahead of them is going to be. Luckily, the universe loves Teruhashi! Saiki won’t stand a chance.

The door swings open, and Saiki blinks at them.

“Hey! Buddy! Hey!” Nendou says. 

Everyone stands there awkwardly as they wait for him to continue. 

“Buddy!” Nendou says again. 

“Nendou,” Kaidou elbows him. “Did you forget what we’re doing, or what?”

“I’m just saying hey to my buddy!” Nendou protests. “He hasn’t said hey back yet.”

“Yeah, and he won’t,” Kaidou hisses. “Just get on with it.”

“Geez, geez, okay,” Nendou pats Kaidou on the head. “Don’t get so worked up about it, I’m getting to it.”

Saiki starts to close the door. Teruhashi nudges Hairo forward- they have to do something fast before they lose him.

“Saiki!” Hairo shouts so loudly that the door blows back open. “We’re going to the beach!” 

He lifts the surfboard up and down a few more times as a demonstration.

“You’re coming, right?” Yumehara asks, fluttering her eyelashes. If Teruhashi was any less perfect, she’d glare at her, but it just so happens that Teruhashi is perfect, and so she understands that such a technique is necessary in this situation. She doesn’t even let her eye twitch- that’s how perfect and understanding she is!

Saiki stares at the group blankly. That means that there’s a 60% chance he’s about to try and shut the door in their faces again. They’re definitely not convincing Saiki to come to the beach with a pitch like this- but if his family is following the same schedule they have been for the rest of summer break, then his mom is home right now. All they need to do is let her hear their invitation, and Saiki will be out the door in five minutes flat. 

“Please, Saiki?” Teruhashi begs, widening her eyes so they sparkle as much as possible. It won’t sway Saiki- frustratingly, none of her charms seem to have any effect on him- but it will buy time, and that’s what she needs to do right now. 

“Yeah! Come on, buddy!” Nendou cheers. “They’ve got a ramen stand set up right now! We can get ramen at the beach!”

“They’ve got coffee-flavored shaved ice, too,” Kuboyasu is quick to add. “We can get some for you.”

No, thank you, Saiki says, and starts to shut the door. 

“What? Kusuo, are those your friends?” Saiki’s mom’s voice floats through the door, and they all relax. “Oh, did you guys come over to ask Kusuo to hang out? You shouldn’t have!”

“Heh, well, beach day wouldn’t be the same without Saiki,” Hairo flashes her a sparkling grin. 

“Aww, this is just what he needs! You know, he’s been holed up in his room almost all week, it’s really kind of sad. I’ve been saying that he needs to get sun, so this is just perfect! He’d love to go, wouldn’t you, Kusuo?” Saiki’s mom says, smiling at her son. 

Saiki’s face, ever impassive, only twitches slightly before he turns around and walks back into the house, presumably to get his beach things. 

“We’re glad to invite him!” Nendou says. “He’s my best buddy, after all! Whenever I go to the beach without him… it’s just not the same…” He sheds a tear dramatically. 

“Oh, my!” Saiki’s mom says, delighted. “I’m glad to hear it! And there’s so many of you, too! Oh, I’m so glad! It’s so nice to know that Kusuo’s making friends!”

Saiki appears again, bag over his shoulder. He slides past his mom and onto the porch, where he looks at Teruhashi with something that might be betrayal hidden in the depths of his emotionless stare.

Does he… know that she knows how to get his mom to force him to come out with them? No, that’s ridiculous, she’s just projecting her guilt onto him and seeing things where there’s nothing. She’s the perfect pretty girl, after all! There’s no way anyone could believe that she would do a thing as sneaky as manipulating her friend into hanging out with her. 

“Alright, let’s go to the beach now!” Hairo says excitedly, slapping Saiki on the shoulder. “We should race!”

“Uhh… I’m good, I think,” Kaidou says, eyes darting away. “I wouldn’t want you to, uh, be blown away by my powers, you know?”

“Any loss is just an opportunity for me to learn from!” Hairo declares passionately. “Show me your true power, Kaidou! I welcome the defeat!”

“Well, it’s summer break, so it’d be a shame to go all out, ‘cause we’re supposed to be relaxing and all,” Kaidou says, voice wavering. “Uh… maybe another time…”

“Oh, okay!” Hairo says. “Anyone else?”

Saiki hands his bag to Hairo.

“Huh?” Hairo blinks at him. “What are you- oh! I should balance everyone’s things on my surfboard to practice my agility! Yeah! How did you know I was thinking about that, Saiki? You’re a real genius!”

Saiki blinks, a flash of surprise crossing his face before it settles again. 

“Well, you can have my things, I suppose,” Kaidou says. “If you need it for training.”

“Y-yeah! Mine too!” Yumehara says, passing over her duffel bag.

“All I brought was myself!” Nendou says cheerfully. “Do you wanna carry me?”

Hairo looks Nendou up and down. “As a matter of fact, I do! Hop on!”

He kneels on the ground, and Nendou steps onto the surfboard on his back. Shaking slightly, Hairo gets back to his feet and starts walking. 

“Alright! Give me the rest of your things, too!” Hairo says, holding out his arms. 

“Oh, sure,” Mera passes over her grocery sack. “Don’t eat my sandwich. It doesn’t have filling in it yet, so it wouldn’t even taste good.”

“Oh? What kind of filling are you going to put in it?” Teruhashi asks politely as she passes Hairo her bag. 

“Sand,” Mera says. “It’s free, and it’s more filling than dirt.”

Teruhashi decides that she doesn’t need to pursue that line of questioning anymore. 

As they walk down the sidewalk, Teruhasi spares a glance at Saiki every so often to make sure he doesn’t disappear- not so often as to be obvious, but enough to reassure herself. 

Still. Even though she’s perfectly timed her glances to reach the optimal ratio of ‘seeing Saiki’ to ‘not being weird,’ she feels like every time she looks at him, she manages to meet his eyes. 

Maybe he’s watching her. The thought makes her cheeks heat up. The next time she looks back at him, he’s looking at a street sign. 

Hairo only has to stop to cough up blood twice on the way there, and Kaidou only has to stop to breathe once, so they get to the beach pretty quickly. Teruhashi looks at Saiki again- his gaze is annoyingly fixed on the dessert stand. He looks really cute like that, though, with a small smile and slightly glazed eyes. The moment the thought passes through her head, his smile drops and he turns around to look at the group. 

“We shouldn’t eat yet,” Hairo says. “You can get cramps if you swim too soon after eating.”

Saiki blinks slowly, almost mournfully. Teruhashi reaches out to pat his shoulder comfortingly, but she freezes midway through. Embarrassing! Face flushed, she pulls her hand back rather than finish the motion. Well, if anyone saw, they’d only think that she’s a little bit shy, which is a perfectly normal thing for a perfectly pretty girl to be. She’s just fine. 

“Should we go get changed?” Teruhashi chirps, tilting her head cutely. She doesn’t think that wearing a bathing suit will be enough to get an oh wow! from Saiki- he’s certainly never paid much mind to those sorts of things in the past. Still, it’ll be nice to receive admiration from everyone else on the beach, and she sort of wants to see Saiki shirtless-

What is she thinking? What’s wrong with her? Maybe it’s hotter out than she thought it was. 

“Yeah, let’s go!” Yumehara says, saving her from her mortification. “Hairo, will you watch our things while we get changed?”

“Sure thing!” Hairo says, passing everyone’s bags back to them. “I’ll even do a hundred sit-ups while I wait!”

“Okay!” Teruhashi says, because she doesn’t really know how else to respond to that. “Well, I’ll see you guys in a second!” After a moment’s consideration, she winks at them, and then turns around and flounces into the changing room. She doesn’t stick around to see their reactions- she already knows how everyone’s faces will turn red, how everyone will stutter out agreements, how everyone will treasure the moment as a light in their dark, depressing lives- everyone but Saiki. His reaction is the only one she cares about, anyways, so there’s no reason to stick around and watch his face remain unmoved. It’ll just make her sad.

- - -

Hairo is just getting ready to plunge into the water and start catching some waves when the lifeguard on duty approached him. 

“Hairo!” the guy shouts. “You’re just the man I wanted to see.”

“Oh?” Hairo says, turning to look at the lifeguard. “Sorry, I don’t think I know you! Is something wrong?”

“Yeah,” says the lifeguard. “Look, I’ll level with you. It’s my first time on the job, and I don’t think I’m cut out for this. The water is too cold, and I hate sand, and I don’t actually know how to practice any first aid.”

“Oh no!” Hairo says, putting down his surfboard. “Well, I’m certified in CPR, basic first aid, and facial reconstruction surgery, so I’m happy to teach you! By the end of the day-”

“Yeah, no, I’m quitting,” the lifeguard says. “I hate it here. I hate this stupid job. I feel bad leaving the beach unattended though- even if I wouldn’t be any help in a situation where people might need a lifeguard, I sort of think that the whistle and long suit give people… hope.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Hairo says. “You can’t give up!”

“No, I’m giving up,” the lifeguard says. “But you’re renowned among lifeguards around the world for your skill. Do you think you could just put the whistle around your neck and guard the beach for me? Can you take the mantle off of my head, provide hope to all those who wish to swim?”

“Well…” Hairo says, biting his lip. He looks back at his friends. 

“I guess it doesn’t matter if you agree,” the lifeguard says. “Even if you only sit on the sand and do nothing, your natural disposition of a lifeguard will reassure the people enough to stop any riots from happening.”

“Well, okay,” Hairo says. 

“I’m heading out,” the lifeguard says. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay you in exposure. I’ll tell all my lifeguard friends that you’re willing to take their shifts if they need and that you don’t need any money for it.”

“You have lifeguard friends?” Hairo says. “I thought you were new.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that,” the lifeguard says. “Well. Whatever. That just makes it easier to cut ties. See you around!”

“Uh, sure!” Hairo says. The lifeguard walks away, and Hairo shifts his attention to the beach. 

It’s a lot to take in, as usual. There are at least seven children eating sand, which he thinks is a bad thing, but Mera was planning to make a sandwich with it earlier, and she hasn’t dropped dead from eating all the things he’s always considered inedible yet, so… maybe it’s fine? He’ll consider it a low priority task. All his friends seem okay- Teruhashi is posing while a mob tries to sculpt her likeness in sand, Kuboyasu is fistfighting a floaty, Saiki is walking off into the ocean, Nendou is eating sand, Yumehara has cornered Kaido and is trying to convince him to let her teach him how to swim, Mera is eating sand-

Hey, wait! Eating before you go swimming will give you cramps!

“Mera, Nendou, stop that!” Hairo shouts, and then blows on the whistle for extra effect. “Don’t you know you’ll get cramps that way?”

“Huh?” Nendou blinks. “Oh, I never get cramps. I have a fast metabolism.”

“I have not eaten in three days,” Mera says. 

“Cramps are no laughing matter!” Hairo scolds them. “You could seriously drown if you get one at an inconvenient time!”

“I won’t get in the water,” Mera promises him. 

“Oh, that’s fine then!” Hairo says. 

Now, to scan the beach for other threats. Yumehara has dragged Kaido into the water. She seems to be a fairly capable teacher, though, because Kaido hasn’t even fallen over yet! The waves are lapping at his ankles- oh, there he goes. Well, he lasted longer than he usually does!

Yumehara grabs him by the hand and pulls him up, and Hairo decides that she’ll make sure he doesn’t drown. Another problem solved! Maybe the lifeguard from earlier was right. Maybe his job isn’t to save people. Maybe all he has to do is stand here and provide a sense of hope, peace, and security, to all his fellow beach-goers. 

…the lack of effort is starting to get to him, though. Hairo squints up at the sun. By his best estimate, it’s been about 78 seconds since he started the job, and he’s been idle for most of it. He won’t be able to better himself by just standing around! He needs to do something! He needs to get pumped! 

Lifeguards have authorities over beaches, right? Maybe he should organize a competition. Tennis? No, that’s not a beach sport. 

Well. If they’re going to be playing a beach sport, there’s really only one option. 

“Nendou!” Hairo shouts, pointing at his friend. “I challenge you to a game of volleyball!”

“Huh?” Nendou says, spitting out sand. “Okay, sure! Even if we managed to find everyone, I don’t think we’d have enough people for full teams, though…”

“Who’s gonna play with us?!” Hairo shouts. A crowd of people has gathered, drawn in by Hairo’s enthusiasm. 

“I’ll join!” a lady says. 

“Sounds like fun,” an aging salary man says. He’s still in his suit, for some reason.

“I guess you should count me in!” says the lifeguard from earlier, now wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache. 

“I wanna play!” says a five-year-old. 

“Great! You all can be on my team!” Hairo declares, shooting them a thumbs-up. 

Before long, he and Nendou have each selected five people to join them in their game. Hairo pulls a ball out of the Official Lifeguard Equipment Storage Shed, and the game begins. 

Nendou spikes the ball into the ground with a force that could leave cracks- Hairo dives and launches the ball back into the air and over the net. Nendou returns that pass, and then Hairo hits it again, and so on and so on. 

By the end of the volley, an hour has passed, and Nendou and Hairo are the only ones who have touched the ball.

“Wow! That was a good game, buddy!” Hairo says, wiping sweat off of his forehead. “I really thought I had you there at the end, but you sure managed to turn it around!”

“Heh! Well, they don’t call me the “Volley-Balled Baller” for nothin’!” Nendou brags. 

He and Hairo exchange a firm handshake. 

“What a game!” an unusually tall surfer who was playing on Nendou’s team remarks. “I didn’t even touch the ball, but the sheer energy those two exuded made it an exciting and blood-warming experience!”

 “For real,” agrees the disguised lifeguard.

Nendou wanders off, and Hairo once again begins searching the beach for anyone who might be in trouble. His friends are all perfectly fine, which is good. Teruhashi is delicately wading in the water, and Kuboyasu is burying Nendou in sand. Yumehara has given up on helping Kaido swim, and now the two of them are building a sandcastle. Mera is taking a nap. 

Everything is in order. No one is drowning. No one is in desperate need of facial reconstruction surgery. 

His stomach growls. 

“Hey, guys!” Hairo shouts, waving his friends over. “How about we take a break to eat?”

- - -

“...by the way, have you guys seen Saiki recently?” Kuboyasu asks, squinting at the menu. 

“Huh?” Nendou blinks at him. “He’s probably off somewhere, like normal.”

“No, no, he’s right…” Kaidou frowns and strokes his chin dramatically. “Saiki disappears, but not for this long, and most suspicious of all, he always comes back right before we get dessert! We’re nearly at the front of the line and he hasn’t shown up! At this rate, he might not even get shaved ice!”

“Ehhh, I wouldn’t think too hard about it,” Nedou says, carefree as always. “Buddy’s probably just napping, like he usually does when we go to the beach. Hey, remember the first time we all went together? He was gone almost the entire time! He didn’t even get to see me walk on water, heh.”

“But he did come back when we got in line for ice cream,” Hairo frowns. “I agree with Kuboyasu and Kaidou. I knew I shouldn’t have taken a break! Saiki could be drowning right now and there’d be no one to save him!”

Everyone pales. 

“Hey… but we’ve seen him swim before, right?” Nendou asks. “He’s not like this shrimp here! He can swim!”

“I can swim!” Kaidou says, his voice cracking. “I- it’s just that the pantheon of Olympus cursed me after I dared to challenge their-”

“If he fell asleep on a floaty or something, he might be in trouble,” Kuboyasu says. “Or a riptide could have come in. Someone could have thrown rocks at him… although I’m not really sure who’d mess with a guy as boring as him. Point is, you can drown even if you can swim.”

“Y-yeah!” Kaidou nods vigorously. “All of those things happen to me every time I get in the water. And the curse stuff.”

“Maybe he’s just hanging out with the girls,” Nedou suggests. “I wouldn’t think too hard about it. It’s our turn to order!”

“I can’t just stand idly when a friend might be in danger!” Hairo declares, striking a dramatic pose. “If he is with the girls, then that’s good, but we shouldn’t assume! We have to go check right now!”

“Ehhh, if you really want to,” Nedou shrugs. “Don’t worry, I’ll order some shaved ice for you.”

“W-wait, Hairo, I’m coming too!” Kaidou says as Hairo sprints off towards the umbrellas and towels the group had set up earlier, sand flying up in his wake. “Hairo!”

Kuboyasu starts to follow, but pauses to glance at Nendou. “Maybe wait on the shaved ice, Nedou. I’ve got a bad feeling. I think Saiki might need our help.”

“If buddy’s having trouble, nothing will make him feel as good as dessert,” Nendou argues stubbornly. “Don’t worry, I won’t let them melt.”

“...okay,” Kuboyasu says. He jogs off after Hairo, passing Kaidou after about four seconds. 

“Hey! Mayday!” Hairo shouts as he runs up to the girls. “Have you guys seen Saiki?”

Mera looks at him ravenously, and then disappointment flashes across her face. “You don’t have the food.”

“What? Saiki?” Teruhashi asks nervously, looking around. “No, I haven’t seen him for a while. I thought he was with you guys.”

“Yeah, he loves dessert, right?” Yumehara says as Kuboyasu comes up to the group. “Shouldn’t he be ordering with you?”

“What? Saiki’s not… not here with you guys?” Kaidou wheezes as he finally reaches the group. “Oh no… he’s fallen into the hands of Dark… Dark Reunion!”

“He could be in real danger!” Hairo says passionately. “He could be at the bottom of the ocean right now! I bet he was swimming laps in order to improve his body, but he swam so fast that he got a cramp, and sank, and now he’s dying! We have to save him!”

“He was obviously kidnapped and taken to Dark Reunion’s underwater lair!” Kaidou argues. “They could be experimenting on him at this very moment, turning him into some kind of fish person!” 

“He probably fell asleep in a floaty and drifted out to sea,” Mera shrugs. “If he’s dead, do you think we can eat him? We should go looking for the body. Ooooh, maybe we can find some fish along the way…”

“No! We can still save him!” Hairo shouts. “I can do CPR! It’s not too late yet!”

“How long has he been missing for?” Teruhashi asks, biting her lip. “I last saw him when we first arrived and I went to get changed, but that was hours ago… he hasn’t been gone for that long, right?”

The group exchanges glances. 

“He has!?” Yumehara gasps. “You guys! How could we let him go missing like that? Weren’t any of you paying attention?”

“I mean, you obviously weren’t either,” Nendou says cheerfully, seven bowls of shaved ice balanced on both of his arms. “I got the treats!” 

“If Saiki’s dead, I can eat his food. He doesn’t need it anymore,” Mera says, grabbing two bowls. 

“Hey! No way! My buddy’ll want that when he gets back!” Nendou tries and fails to take the treat back. “Come on! He’s not dead!”

“He’s been gone for hours,” Hairo says, hand over his forehead as he scans the horizon. “I don’t see him. We should probably rent some scuba gear and search the seafloor.”

“We should call a real lifeguard,” Kuboyasu says. 

“I am a real lifeguard! Just because I don’t get paid for my services doesn’t mean that I’m not skilled!” Hairo protests. “Come on, gang! We can’t give up like that! What would Saiki do if one of us was missing at the beach?!”

Teruhashi’s lip trembles. “He wouldn’t stop looking until he found me- us!” 

“That’s right!” Hairo yells. “We can’t give up on him either! Come on, split up! We’ll search the entire ocean if we have to! We’ll search the entire planet if we have to! We’ll fold 50,000 paper cranes if it’s necessary to find our friend!!”

“Why would we have to fold cranes to find Saiki?” Kaidou asks. 

“Alright, me, Nendou and Kuboyasu will search the ocean. Teruhashi, Yumehara, and Mera can search the beach. Kaidou… uh, you can coordinate,” Hairo says. “Got it? Okay, good! Everyone split!” 

Kuboyasu wades into the ocean again, grimacing as the cold water laps against his shins. It’s always less fun getting in the second time. 

Not that he’d even consider staying out of the water. Saiki could be in serious trouble- he can’t abandon him just because the water is a little uncomfortable.

Kuboyasu looks around the water anxiously, searching for any sign of his missing friend- Saiki’s inflatable tube is floating just a few meters out from the dropoff of the seafloor, and his heart sinks into his stomach. 

He quickly paddles over and then dives underneath the water. Sure enough, Saiki is lying prone on the seafloor nearly thirty meters under. Kuboyasu surfaces to take a gulp of air and then propels himself as deep as he can, flailing frantically in order to go faster. He snags Saiki’s wrist and then kicks off the seafloor, pulling him up towards the light. 

Kuboyasu surfaces and then gently lifts Saiki’s head above the water. His friend does not start breathing, and his heart jumps. 

Kuboyasu drags him to the shore as quickly as he can. Saiki is frighteningly limp and cold. He scrambles onto dry land and gently puts Saiki down on the sand- even after being removed from the water, his friend fails to twitch. 

“You found him!” Teruhashi gasps, rushing over. Her eyes search Saiki’s pale face, worry increasing by the second. Yumehara and Mera are quick to join her- despite Mera’s earlier flipance, even she looks worried at the sight of Saiki. 

“Is he… dead?” Yumehara asks quietly, biting her lip. 

“What? Saiki’s dead?” Kaidou gasps as he stumbles over to the group. “No… how could this have happened…”

“No!” Hairo shouts as he comes stomping out of the ocean. “Saiki… he was so young! He can’t be dead! Not like this!”

Kuboyasu swallows. He’s lost comrades before, back when he was still a delinquent. It never stopped hurting, and this is no different. Saiki was a good friend- a quiet friend, but a good one. He was reliable, and thoughtful, and a bit snarky, if you caught him on a good day. Kuboyasu never got as close to him as he would have liked- Saiki was private, and Kuboyasu never liked to push. His heart aches with regret. 

“Huh? Have you guys checked his pulse yet?” Nendou asks, appearing behind Kaidou.

“Oh. No, I guess not,” Hairo says. He kneels down beside Saiki and puts two fingers to his neck. “There’s no pulse! He’s dead!”

Nendou stares down at Saiki, face twisted in disbelief. “But… buddy doesn’t get hurt. He’s always okay.”

“Get it through your thick skull!” Kaidou shouts, fists clenched, tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. “He’s dead, because we couldn’t pay enough attention to notice when the ocean devoured him! This is… our fault.”

Yumehara nods solemnly. 

“I can still save him!” Hairo sobs. “I can still do chest compressions! Come on, Saiki, fight it! Breathe!”

Hairo attempts to push down on Saiki’s chest, but his hands don’t move at all. 

“Wow, he’s got really strong ribs,” Hairo says. “No! Saiki, I’m so sorry. Your beautiful ribs have stopped me from saving your life! I’m not strong enough… no. No, I can’t give up! I’ll break through the iron cage you keep your heart safe in! I’ll get through to you!” 

He resumes his attempts at CPR to no avail.

“That’s a really nice metaphor,” Teruhashi says sadly. “If only we had been closer… if only he had allowed us into his heart… if only he trusted us enough to let us save him…”

Kuboyasu closes his eyes. He can feel tears sliding down his face. “We’ll have to make sure they serve coffee jelly at his funeral,” he croaks. “It’s what he would want.”

“He’s not dead though, right?” Nendou says. “His pulse always gets freakishly slow when he naps. He’s not dead.”

Hairo finally stops trying to revive Saiki and starts shouting at the heavens to take him instead. Mera, wiping away tears, takes out a fork and knife. Yumehara tries to drag her away from Saiki’s body before she can start eating him.

“Saiki can’t die,” Teruhashi says, desperation evident in her voice. “He- he can’t, because god loves me, and because- because I love him!”

Her tears attract a crowd of people, but none of her followers have the ability to raise the dead, and Saiki remains silent and cold on the ground. 

“What are we going to tell him mom?” Kaidou worries, glancing at Kuboyasu. “She- she trusted us with him, and now he’s dead!”

“Losing people you love never gets any easier,” Kuboyasu says gravely. The wind blows past him, ruffling his hair dramatically. “All we can do is remember him, move forward, and keep our eyes on the horizon. Wallowing in grief will get us nowhere.”

“We can use him for sustenance,” Mera agrees. “His sacrifice won’t be in vain.”

“That’s not what I said,” Kuboyasu says. 

“We’ll never forget everything you did for us, buddy,” Nendou sobs, finally accepting that his friend is dead. 

“I’ll call his parents,” Kaidou says, fumbling a phone into his hands. “They- they’ll need to know, so that they can plan his funeral, and stuff.”

“I loved you,” Teruhashi sobs, throwing herself onto Saiki’s dead body. “I’m so sorry I never told you. If I could do things over, I’d tell you a thousand times!”

“If I knew how short our time together was going to be, I would have taken you to the beach every day, whether you liked it or not,” Kuboyasu says solemnly. 

“He’s too young to die! I’m a whole five days older than him! Please, strike me down, and return Saiki to the land of the living!” Hairo screams at the sky. 

“Hey kids, is something wrong?” Mr. Matsuzaki walks up to them, clad in a wetsuit and hotdog in his hand. 

“S-Saiki is dead,” Kaidou sniffles. His calls have gone to voicemail four times now. “He drowned.”

“Are you sure?” Mr. Matsuzaki asks. “Doesn’t his pulse just slow down freakishly whenever he falls asleep?”

“He’s not moving,” Yumehara says mournfully. “And also he was probably underneath the ocean for like a few hours.”

“Did. Did you guys not notice he was missing?” Mr. Matsuzaki raises a singular eyebrow. “Don’t you know that you should always stick by a partner when you’re near a body of water? Letting people go off on their own is how things like this happen!”

Everyone stares at him, tears streaming down their faces. 

“...you all have already learned your lesson about that, though,” Mr. Matsuzaki sighs. “How about you guys head on home, and I’ll handle the situation from here? You’ve been through enough today.”

“Please, I’m so hungry,” Mera says, trying to grab onto Saiki’s arm. “His skin won’t cut for some reason but if I can just take a bite I’m sure I’ll be satisfied-”

“There’s something really wrong with you,” Yumehara tells her. “You shouldn’t eat dead bodies. Come on, let’s head into town. I think the grass in the school field has regrown enough for you to eat again.”

“Okay,” Mera says, following her friend. 

“I guess I’ll see you guys later,” Kuboyasu says. He closes his eyes, and savors the feeling of the sun drying his tears. “Live in a way Saiki would be proud of.”

“Avoid all social interaction like the plague and never make any facial expressions?” Nendou guesses.

“No…” Kuboyasu sighs deeply. “Show your love for your friends through your actions, instead of your words.”

“Oh. Okay!” Nendou says. “Well, I’ll see you guys around!”

The group slowly disperses, each person heading home, shell-shocked by Saiki’s death. 

“Am I not enough?” Hairo whispers to the heavens. “Will I ever be good enough to take his place?”

Kuboyasu rounds the corner, and heads home to add another name to his memorial.

- - -

Saiki wakes up in a place that is decidedly not the bottom of the ocean, which is sort of awkward, because it means he either teleported while he was in the middle of his nap (something he thought he had grown out of), or someone had found him while he was napping and dragged him into this dark, enclosed space. 

Well. It’s not actually that dark to him. After staring at the ceiling for five seconds, his x-ray vision shows him the sky. Based on the position of the sun, and his internal clock, it’s about noon. That’s concerning, because he started his nap at about two in the afternoon. He’s been asleep for at least a day.

None of that explains why he’s in a box. Saiki puts his hands up and pushes on the lid of the box as gently as he can, trying to see if it’ll come up. Luckily, it moves easily, and he swings it open and sits up. 

Everyone is staring at him. Saiki looks down. The box he is lying in is a coffin. 

What a pain. 

Evidently, someone found him on the bottom of the ocean and assumed he was dead. He’s a little surprised that he slept through the ensuing commotion. He’s always been a fairly light sleeper. 

“Kusuo?” his mother whispers, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. “Is that you?”

Saiki nods. His mother’s thoughts are racing- he’s still not entirely sure why she thought he was dead in the first place. She knows that he’s a psychic, and she knows that he’s virtually invincible, and she knows that he takes naps at the bottom of the ocean sometimes. Was there some miscommunication here?

“Oh, my baby!” she sobs, and then she rushes over to hug him. He tolerates it only because she is his mother, and he loves her.

All of his nuisances are at the funeral. Their thoughts flood into his head- it’ll be a pain to explain how he “came back from the dead” to them without revealing his powers, but-

God does love me! Teruhashi thinks, her eyes shining. 

Uh oh. I hope Hairo didn’t actually manage to swap place with him, Kuboyasu thinks. I don’t want him to die either. 

Is this a clone? It must be the work of Dark Reunion! Kaidou thinks. 

A delayed reaction to the CPR! Of course! Hairo thinks. It just took a while for the shock waves to travel through his ultra-strong ribs.

I’m so glad that dark ritual Makino showed me worked! Yumehara thinks. 

Wow! I guess Nendou was right. Saiki really was just napping, Mera thinks. Probably a good thing I didn’t eat him. 

Nevermind. His friends have already thought of better explanations than he’ll ever be able to come up with, even if none of them make sense. 

“Wow,” his father is saying, patting him on the back. “It’s a shame we spent all that money on the coffin, seeing as you’re not really dead. Do you think we can get a refund? I bet that’s not a question these places get asked a lot.”

“Aww, maybe we should just save it for later,” his mom replies. “My parents are getting up in age anyways! We can just keep it in the guest room with your models and save it until one of them dies.”

“Wow! That’s a great idea, sweetheart!” his dad says. “You’re so smart. You’re practically a genius.”

Toritsuka and Aiura approach Saiki with wry looks on their faces. 

Please tell me you didn’t actually think I was dead, Saiki says. 

“Yeah, you appeared in pretty much every future I looked in, so I figured it was a fluke,” Aiura nods. “ This idiot was convinced that you were a goner, though. He spent all day yesterday running around like a chicken with its head cut off looking for your ghost.”

“Hey! Everyone was talking about it!” Toritsuka sniffs. “I can’t be blamed for taking a professional mortician's word about someone’s state of life or death over some cheap-o fortune teller!”

“Cheap-o? You wish my fortune telling were cheap,” Aiura snaps. “I mean, really, when have I ever been anything less than reliable?”

You think we’re soulmates, Saiki points out wearily. 

“Okay, well, you still haven’t provided any evidence to prove me wrong,” Aiura says. “You just deny, deny, deny, and that’s not good enough for me.”

Saiki rolls his eyes, and gets out of his coffin. There’s coffee jelly at the refreshment tables. He’s not sticking around for a stupid conversation when he could be eating desserts.

“Oh! Saiki!” Teruhashi flounces over, her smile brighter than usual. “I have something to tell you. Do you think that we could talk sometime? Somewhere… private?”

Saiki stares at her, suddenly exhausted. Her plans to confess to him are running through her head a mile a minute. He doesn’t want to find a way to turn her down politely, because even that won’t stop her from trying to make him fall in love with her. What a pain. 

All of his friends are thinking about spending more time with him now, too. Something about “almost losing him” has made them hyper-aware of how much time Saiki spends alone, and how much of that time he could be spending with them. It kind of makes him want to cry. He’s only had a week of peace, and now he’s going to have his entire schedule filled up with nuisances. 

He… he would be sad if he never saw them again. However. He is also sad that he is going to be constantly surrounded by them for the foreseeable future. Is it so much to ask for some personal space?

“Saiki?” Teruhashi asks. “Are you okay?”

He’s spacing out. He must be exhausted from dying and coming back- now that I look at his face, he does seem really tired. I bet he didn’t even hear what I said. Maybe I should try again later, when he’s not freshly reanimated, Teruhashi thinks

Saiki would rather her never try, but he’ll take whatever respite he can get. 

Oh. The question. He nods. 

Teruhashi moves out of his way, fretting about how scary it must have been to cross the veil and then come back again. Saiki grabs three cups of coffee jelly and then relocates himself to a table at the back of the park. 

The coffee jelly is not even close to enough to make up for the whole hassle, but it’s something. It tastes good. It always tastes good. 

“Heyyy, buddy,” Nendou says, sitting down across from Saiki, who does not startle even a little bit, because he did not forget about him at all. “How you feeling?”

Saiki ignores him and keeps eating his coffee jelly. 

“You know, I told them you were just napping, but they didn’t believe me,” Nendou continues, either oblivious or unbothered by Saiki’s standoffish behavior. “Bunch of babies, crying all over you. I bet they got snot on your shirt.”

Saiki’s not actually in the clothes he “died” in anymore- the funeral attendants changed him into a suit. It’s really uncomfortable. When he examines his arm, though, he does find crusty boogers, which is very unpleasant. 

“Don’t listen to this guy!” Kaidou snaps, sliding into the table beside Nendou. “He was crying just as hard as any of us! We were really scared for you.”

Saiki considers what the normal reaction to a near-death-experience would be. Making a huge commotion about something that didn’t even really almost kill him seems like too much of a hassle. He settles for a nod. 

What kind of reaction is that? Isn’t he worried that he almost died? Does he even remember it? Kaidou wonders. Oh well. He looks tired. Maybe I should leave him alone. 

Saiki wonders what vibes he is putting out in the air right now that make him look so tired and how he can replicate them full-time so that no one ever talks to him ever again. 

Nendou and Kaidou watch him eat his jelly in what they think is silence. It’s actually still incredibly loud to Saiki, since everyone around him is thinking thoughts, but he supposes it’s the thought that counts. Slowly, the rest of his friends gather around him. By the time he’s on his third cup, nearly everyone is watching him. It’s unbearably awkward.

“You know,” Kuboyasu says. “It was my idea to serve coffee jelly at your funeral.”

Saiki looks at him appraisingly. He knew there was a reason Kuboyasu always seemed so trustworthy and reliable. Anyone who gets him coffee jelly for a reason that’s not a bribe is someone worth keeping in his good books.

“Do you remember what happened?” Hairo asks, taking Kuboyasu’s words as an signal to start talking. “How’d you come back? It was my CPR, right?”

Saiki shrugs. 

“Should we go to the beach again another day?” Yumehara asks, glancing at Kaidou. “Since this beach day got ruined for you?”

Saiki shakes his head. He didn’t even want to go to the beach in the first place. Why would he want to go twice? The only thing he likes to do at the beach is eat shaved ice and nap under the water, and it’s actually way easier to do that when his nuisances aren’t with him.

“Aw, but we ruined the first one for you!” Nendou pouts. “We needa make it up!”

Saiki scowls at him. He doesn’t want to go to the beach with them. He didn’t want to go in the first place. 

“Come on, Saiki,” Teruhashi says, eyes shimmering. She knows that doesn’t work, why does she keep doing it? “We really are obligated to do it over for you.”

It’s not a very convincing sentiment, considering he can hear her thinking about how another trip to the beach will be fun for her, too, since her day out also got ruined by his “death”-

Oh. 

Saiki looks down. He… owes it to them, to let them try their beach day again, since he was the one who ruined it. What a pain. 

“So? What day works for you?” Kaidou says, slamming his hands down onto the table.

Saiki shrugs reluctantly. I don’t really have any plans.

“Oh no!” Teruhashi says. “Well, don’t worry-”

He glares at her. 

“We’ll be sure to fill your time!” she finishes, ignoring him. 

He doesn’t want that. He’s coming to the beach with them again because he owes them. He doesn’t plan on spending any more time with them than necessary. 

“Yeah!” Hairo cheers. “Do you wanna hit the gym with me tomorrow? It’ll be raining, so we can’t do our beach day then.”

Saiki shakes his head. 

“Oh, okay, what about the day after that?” Hairo asks. 

He shakes his head again. 

“Not a gym guy?” Hairo guesses. “Well, that’s fine! Wanna go jogging?”

No. He shakes his head. 

“Saiki,” Kuboyasu says. “Do you… do you not want to hang out with us?”

Well. When he says it like that, it sounds bad. 

He doesn’t want to answer it honestly- he can admit, even if it’s just to himself, that these guys are his friends. He doesn’t… he likes them. He really does. He just doesn’t want to hang out with them. Not as much as they want him to. 

It would be… cruel, to say that he doesn’t want to spend time with them though. He… he has to answer the question. He’s taking too long to think. He just needs to… he can do damage control here. He has seven friends here, but Mera won’t care if he doesn’t hang out one- on-one with her. That plus the beach day… it’s only a week. He can spend the rest of break alone. That works. That’ll work. 

“Sorry,” Kuboyasu says, frowning. “I- that was phrased badly. What I meant-”

It’s fine, I guess, Saiki says. I have the free time. Obviously.

“Yeah, but…” Kuboyasu squints at him. “Look, you scared us back at the beach, homie. We like you, and we’d be really sad if you died!”

Saiki stares at him. 

“But like. It’s kind of hard to tell when you want to do somethin’ and you’re just being shy about it, and when you’re actually done,” Kuboyasu says. “And we want to spend more time with you, because we love you. But we won’t know if we’re pushing too far unless you tell us.”

Saiki blinks. That’s…

“Yeah!” Nendou says cheerfully. “If you’re tired from dyin’ and stuff, you don’t need to stick with us all the time!”

Well. He didn’t actually die, or even almost die, and he never really will, because he’s psychic. Saiki looks away.

“ Or if you’re tired normally,” Kuboyasu adds. 

Saiki gets tired of us? Kaidou thinks, eyes widening in surprise. A few years ago, Saiki would have been thrilled to hear it.

“O-oh?” Kaidou says aloud. “I guess… you never said anything.”

Oh… is that why he never seems happy to see me? He’s tired of me? No, wait, that’s impossible! No one could be tired of me! Teruhashi thinks. No. He must just be too tired to vocalize it! That’s it!

What a pain. Saiki slumps back into his chair.

If I had it my way, I’d spend all my time alone, he says slowly. That wouldn’t be good for me. So it’s probably good that you guys invite me out of the house. But…

Everyone stares at him. He shifts uncomfortably. 

I only say no when I mean it, he says. 

“Okay, that’s good to know,” Kuboyasu smiles at Saiki. “I’ll do my best to listen to that in the future.”

What a pain. All Saiki wants to do right now is take a nap, even though he only just woke up from one. 

“So, we’re not hanging out?” Hairo pouts. Kuboyasu elbows him. “Geez, geez, just checking!”

“Are we still going to the beach?” Teruhashi frets. “I- I mean! Not that you have to. But, um-”

What a pain. I already said yes, didn’t I? Saiki says. 

“Oh! Yes,” Teruhashi beams at him. 

“Alright!” Hairo cheers. “So… we’ll meet up two days from now? Does that work for everyone?”

Everyone expresses their agreement. Saiki rolls his eyes, and then slinks away. That’s enough for now. He’s tired just thinking about it. Well, he’ll have a whole day to relax, assuming his dad doesn’t need his help with anything… oh, who is he kidding? He’ll be running around the house all day for him. 

It’s fine. He still has three weeks of break left. They’ll fill up fast, he knows, but they’re not filled up yet. He can fight to keep them open still. He can…

He’s already had a whole week to relax. He’s fine. 

Saiki sighs, and then turns around and goes back to sit down with his friends.