Chapter Text
Chapter 19: Anchor
The visions come to a halt and you’re brought back to your current reality. Blinking rapidly, you shake your head to focus on the present moment. Your forehead tingles from the pressure of his kiss earlier and your head begins to spin.
You witnessed many versions of Rafayel in his memories, but the last one sent a chill down your spine. This was the Rafayel consumed by vengeance and hate—cold, calculating, and merciless. You were struck by the aloofness of his expression, the condescension in his voice. It was the face of someone who did not flinch seeing a full grown man getting devoured by the Wanderers he lured into his home. He really was serious about eliminating those who did the Lemurians wrong. You knew that he had no mercy when he told you what he did to Raymond, but actually seeing it was a different story.
For a fleeting moment, you felt a tinge of fear for this side of Rafayel you had never seen. Yet, deep down, you understood that this was a persona born out of desperation to cope and survive.
Tears involuntarily spring to your ears, feeling the pain and suffering he went through. You had no idea his memories went that far back and that he remembered it all. What a heavy burden it must be.
“You remember your past life?” you ask unsteadily, still shaken after what you just experienced.
Rafayel nods, taking your trembling hands in his. An overwhelming urge to hug him takes over you, and you wrap your arms around him tightly. You’re not sure whether you’re comforting him or yourself, but a mix of anger and sadness swells within you at the betrayal and pain he went through. You understand now what he meant when he told you he was betrayed and put in a ‘dangerous situation’ because of that girl. You wish there was a way to make him forget about all that pain.
“Was that too much?” Rafayel asks worriedly. “Perhaps I should have just shown you little by little.”
“No,” you say. “Thank you for showing Lemuria and your past.”
“Are you afraid of what you saw?” he asks, his low voice tinged with unease. You shake your head, pressing against him closer. “You can tell me if you are. I know I’m not the person you probably imagined,” he murmurs. “What I did to Raymond—I’ve done to many others. Especially modern Lemurian Hunters.”
“A little, maybe. Mostly because I was shocked by all the information I was receiving. I.. I just didn’t know that you endured so much,” you say, clutching to his shirt tightly, thoughts still scrambling. Such a dark past, and yet, he still manages to put on such a bright smile and a carefree personality. Behind those playful antics and dramatics, resides a grieving, traumatized shell of a Sea God from a civilization that no longer exists.
Rafayel caresses your head gently. “I’m sorry, I should’ve gone slower with the visions.”
“And you.. you’re the God of the Sea?” you ask, suddenly hesitating if you should be holding him this carelessly.
“Well, was,” Rafayel shrugs, wiping away a stray tear from your cheek. “Hey, don’t treat me any differently now that you know this.”
“I'll try not to, but isn’t being God of the Sea a big deal? How are you so casual about this?” you mutter in disbelief. “Also, how were you able to make me see your memories? Is that one of your Lemurian powers too?”
Rafayel muses at your barrage of questions. “Yes, Lemurians used to communicate telepathically. We sometimes use our vocal chords to speak and sing, but telepathy was much more convenient. Anyway, we can’t communicate telepathically with humans since you guys don’t have that ability, but I shared some of it earlier so that you could see my memories. It’s temporary.”
“That is..” you gaped at him in awe, “that is incredible. Lemuria was so.. beautiful. It felt like I was really there.”
“If Lemuria still existed, I would have brought you there so you could see it for yourself,” he says with a tender look in his eyes.
“You’d kidnap me? How would I be able to survive the sea if I can’t breathe underwater?”
He pokes your forehead. “Of course you’d survive, silly. I’ll help you breathe.”
“You can do that too?” you ask in fascination.
“Yup.”
“How?”
“Like this.” Rafayel leans in to press his warm lips against yours. Immediately, you melt into the kiss. Heat blooms on your cheeks and your stomach overturns. He parts too soon, and you break into an all-out blush.
“That’s how Lemurians grant humans the ability to breathe underwater,” he says. “Again, temporary.”
You trace your fingers over your lips and swallow, hesitating to ask an urgent question in your mind. After hearing about what that girl did to him, you wonder if he ever feared you might do the same. It explains why he was so guarded and cautious before you revealed your true origins, and why he was initially unwilling to share his background. A wave of sympathy washes over you.
“What is it?” he asks, sensing your hesitation.
“I get it now,” you start. “I understand why you were so wary about me before I told you my truth. And also when you briefly thought I was on Hian’s side when.. when they took you. You must be afraid that I’d be the same as her.”
Rafayel frowns, his expression turning dark. “You are nothing like her.”
You’re silent for a moment, unsure of how to react. Your voice comes out in a silent whisper. “How did you know that? Why did you choose to trust me?”
“The same reason why you chose to trust me when we first met and followed me home. Like I said, your eyes told me that you were no evil girl, just a lost one,” he winks. “Anyway, I got better at reading people with how long I’ve lived. I’m not that naive anymore, so I wouldn’t just trust anyone. But you know.. a voice in my head kept telling me to keep a distance from you and that I didn’t need to care about why you were injured and all alone on Whitesand Bay. Told me that I shouldn’t be too involved with humans and that I was naive and foolish for wanting to let you into my home. Yet, I kept recalling what it was like to be saved when I was stranded and all alone—the relief and warmth I felt to have someone there for me, I wanted to save someone the way I was saved. I’m glad that I shut those voices out and listened to my heart.”
“I.. I see,” you say, a little loss for words. “I would’ve felt the same if I were you. There are a lot of evil, cruel humans out there and sometimes, we just never know a person’s true nature.”
“Well, like I said, there are a lot of good people in this world too,” he smiles. “I would’ve died a painful death on that beach if it weren’t for my real saviour.”
“Did you ever find out who the child was?”
He shakes his head disappointingly. “No. I didn’t see what she looked like. Even if she reincarnated, I wouldn’t know it.”
Your eyes widen when you realize something. “Then.. your aunt that you mentioned last time, is she also a reincarnated Lemurian?”
“Yup. She’s one of the last remaining ones.”
“Oh.”
“It’s ironic,” Rafayel admitted, his voice low. “Not too long ago, Talia got married, and I was rather cold towards her marriage. I couldn’t understand how she could fall in love with a human so easily—how she could be so carefree, full of joy, as if the past had never happened. Almost all the Lemurians are like her now, finding or searching for their 'anchors', as she called it. A reason to live, a purpose… someone to love. She confronted me once, said I didn’t realize how important it was to have an anchor. I told her that Lemuria was more important. I thought they were pathetic for chasing after fleeting happiness.”
He lowers his gaze, and you wait for him to continue.
“But really, I was the pathetic one. Depriving myself of a life worth living or for a chance at happiness.”
“Rafayel..” you murmur, caught off-guard by that distant and regretful look in his eyes.
“And more than anything, I was terrified of letting go of Lemuria. Afraid of forgetting the past.”
“I’m sure she didn’t get married because she had forgotten the past,” you say. “No one forgets about that kind of past easily. She was just.. trying her best to survive and live a normal life. A new life.”
“Talia said the same, and I did believe her. I knew she hadn't forgotten. I just don’t know why I resisted so strongly. Maybe I was angry and envious that she had found happiness while I had nothing. I should’ve been happy for her.”
“Are you still on good terms?”
“Yeah, we’re on good terms. Once I realized how I’d projected my own pain onto her, I apologized. We’ve mended things.”
You sigh with relief. “That’s good. What changed your mind?”
Rafayel’s expression withers. “It came to a point where the other Lemurians started distancing themselves from me. It seems that they just wanted to leave the past behind and move on, but felt like it was difficult to do so because of how I reacted to Talia’s wedding. A close Lemurian friend of mine even begged me to stop hunting after the humans who wronged us and just let the universe deal with their fates.”
Rafayels looks as though he is recalling bitter memories. He pauses for a moment before continuing.
“And another told me I’d end up suffering alone, and probably die that way if I kept it up,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “I didn’t take it seriously, but I was right on track to that path. I mean, I didn’t care, but… after a while, I guess I didn’t want to be hated by the Lemurians. I tried to see things from their perspectives and befriend humans, for real. I mean, I’m still tracking down Lemurian hunters, but I tried to be more amicable to humans and form real connections. Then I met good people like Thomas, some college friends and nice people from the art industry, and then, you.”
For some reason, you feel surprised at his mention of you. Compared to all the people Rafayel’s ever known, you feel like a newcomer in his life. You wonder who or what eventually became his anchor that caused him to change.
“Did you manage to find an anchor?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he nods. “It was art.”
A swell of emotions rises up your chest. Somehow, you can understand that. As a teenager, art was your anchor whenever you struggled with school, friends, or family.
“I didn’t intend to make painting my career, like I mentioned before, it just happened,” he says. “I did it because I gave painting a shot one day, and realized that I liked it and was good at it. Art saved me.”
Then, he turns to you.
“Then, I found another anchor,” he says with a tender gaze. The light reflecting in his ocean blue and coral pink eyes makes it seem as if they were sparkling. “You.”
You blink once. Then twice. “Me?”
Amused by your reaction, he stifles a laugh. “When I met you, at first, I just liked the idea of having a “flatmate” and a friend to live with. I’ve been alone for a long time, so our arrangement felt new and exciting. Soon, it just felt natural to have you around, like you’ve always been here. I like that we both enjoy art and seafood. I like our quippy banters or even the silent moments when we’re watching shows together. I like that you’re curious about many things, and your kind, genuine heart. Remember when I asked what you would do if you met a Lemurian, and you said you’d befriend them? Your answer really got me, I don’t know why, and maybe that’s when I started feeling this way.”
“Feeling in what way?” you ask to clarify. You can already see his ears turning red.
“I’m not sure. I started feeling strange whenever you’re around, like in sort of a restless way. Then, I started to worry whenever you didn’t reply to my text for hours while you were in Linkon City, or whenever you’d seem to stare dejectedly into space. I don’t know when it started or why, but I’d start missing you whenever you’re not around.”
Your eyes widened when he said this. He misses you?
“When you’re not with me, I can’t get you out of my head. When you went out with that doctor, I felt like I was going to go crazy thinking about it,” he continues, black eyelashes fluttering downwards as he gazes at you. “I wanted to be the one taking you out on a date, and the first one to know about your chest pains. I want to be the one you look for when you’re scared or anxious, and I want to help you grow out of that shell and become the artist you’re truly meant to be. I.. I don’t want you to come running to him when you’re going through something. Come to me, so please—”
“Raf, I told you,” you say. “I don’t like Zayne in that way.”
But Rafayel isn’t sure if that’s really true. Then why did you want to stay longer at Akso Hospital? Why did you let him place a snow flower on your ear, as if he was marking you as his? His eyes dart to a bruising spot on your neck — the hickey he left after kissing you senseless in the elevator after he lost control of his jealousy. Seeing you with Zayne like that and the fact that you wanted to continue staying by his side was enough to drive Rafayel over the edge.
Rafayel sighs, and gently brushes his fingers against the bruising spot. “I’m sorry about this. I don’t know what got to me.”
“I-It’s alright,” you say.
You gnaw on your lip to stifle your emotions. Was it a lie when you told Rafayel you didn’t like Zayne? Did you really not like him that way, or were you just trying to appease Rafayel?
Rafayel’s expression morphs from tender to one of helplessness. Then, he sighs. “Ever since I met you, I’ve been acting in ways I’ve never had before. At first, I didn’t really understand why I felt that way,” he admits. “Maybe because I haven’t felt anything towards anyone since that day.”
You’re somewhat surprised to hear that Rafayel has never fallen in love or been romantically involved with anyone since that time. You’d think with someone as attractive and charismatic as he is, he’d have a long waiting list of suitors. Perhaps he did, but turned them all down because of his trauma. Or perhaps he was too focused on getting revenge for Lemuria.
“But now, I think I understand,” he says, cupping your cheek. “Even if you’re not from this world, you are still the anchor to mine.”
You suck in a breath, feeling all sorts of tumultuous sensations within your chest. “And what happens if this anchor breaks loose and is lost to the deep sea? And your ship is left to drift out into the raging ocean?” you ask.
“I am not afraid of the raging ocean, and I’m simply thankful my anchor has given me a fleeting moment of stability and peace in this chaotic world. I really am glad I met you, my anchor.”
Your eyes widen hearing this, feeling a pang in your heart. Somehow, he always knows the right things to say. These emotions in your chest feel like they might burst and envelop you whole.
Staring into his eyes, it feels as though you might get sucked into an abyss. You wonder if he had been hurting this whole time because of your friendship with Zayne, or rather, by what he thinks is more than just a simple friendship.
You wonder if you’ve mistaken your feelings of innocent affection towards Zayne for love, and if it is any different to how you feel towards Rafayel. Yes, you care about Zayne, but does he make you feel the way Rafayel does? If you saw Zayne with another woman, like you saw Rafayel with Kylie, would you have a similar reaction?
You shake off the thoughts, and focus on what you have been wanting to do ever since Rafayel was kidnapped by Hian. Regardless of whatever confusing feelings you have towards Zayne, one thing is clear — you like Rafayel. That is clear.
If there’s one thing you learned from everything that happened, it’s that you need to tell him how you really feel, urgently. You never know what will happen, and you don’t want to have any regrets.
“I just wanted to say that I really am glad I met you too,” you start, nerves tingling. “You made me face art again, and confront my insecurities. I recalled memories that I had forgotten they existed—memories of how much I loved art and how it was my anchor too. I really liked painting with you and watching you paint. I like how you always make me feel at ease, though at times, you make me feel restless and strange too. I admire how loyal you are to your people and Lemuria, and despite everything, I understand you.”
Rafayel’s eyes brighten and you can sense that he’s hanging on to every word you’re saying. You find the courage to continue.
“You know, I.. I care a lot about you,” you stutter. “When you were taken away by Hian, I was sick to my stomach worrying about what that wretched man would do to you. When you showed me those visions, I couldn’t help but burst into tears because I hated that you went through that and still have to live through it again today. And Rafayel, even if that happens again, or a hundred more times, I will come for you. I will always come running for you. And like I said yesterday, I will never abandon and betray you.”
For a fleeting moment, you think you see a glassy sheen there, but you’re unsure because he’s suddenly wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug.
“Thank you,” he whispers, face buried into the crook of your neck.
“Hah, thank you for taking in this stray,” you smile, hugging him back. “And also.. um, I wanted to tell you that..”
“Hm? What is it?” Rafayel asks, his voice humming in your ears.
“I like you, Rafayel,” you admit, feeling as if your heart might drop to your foot. “I really like you.”
Rafayel breaks from the hug and stares at you with an elated look. “I like you too, Marin. But that is probably obvious to you by now.”
You stare at him with hopeful eyes. Rafayel looks so beautiful. So perfectly, inhumanly beautiful. You feel relief flooding your system after finally being able to tell him how you feel and hearing it back from him, yet your heart aches at the fact that you’ll probably never be able to have a proper relationship with him.
Seeing you in a daze, Rafayel gently reaches out to touch your cheek. “So, since when did you start liking me?” he asks.
You break into an all-out blush. “I don’t know, okay, maybe it was that time at the art exhibition.”
“Oooh,” Rafayel hums. “What made you like me? Is it my dashing good looks? Or is it my irresistibly charismatic charm?”
You lightly push him away in mock disgust. “You’re making me embarrassed. Stop that.”
“Aw, Marin! You are so adorable when you get all feisty,” he muses and pokes your forehead gently, right where he just kissed you earlier. “How is your head feeling by the way? Humans are weak, so you might experience some lightheadedness after being connected to my energy.”
“I–I’m fine.” You touch the tender spot on your forehead. “I’m just wondering, are Lemurians able to see human memories as well?”
“We can, if you allow us to, but we don’t really do that.”
“Why not?”
“Memories are a tricky thing. Doing that is extremely invasive and it takes a toll on the human mind. It also depends on the person and how much they are willing to open up and share their energy. Sometimes, there may be blocks within them too, so we can’t exactly see everything.”
“This is fascinating. You could have told me this earlier so that I could prove to you that I’m not lying about coming from another universe.”
Rafayel laughs. “I don’t need to do all that. I believe you.”
“...”
“What is it?” Rafayel asks, amused by your perplexed expression.
“By the way.. are you really 24 years old?”
“In this life, yes, but my soul is much older than that.”
“I feel like you’re so much older than me. You’re ancient.”
“Well souls are technically immortal and timeless, including yours,” he shrugs. “You just forgot about your past lives.”
“I kind of wish I remembered mine.”
“You are better off not knowing. We don’t know what kind of past lives you lived, and it might be traumatizing for you to know about all of it at once,” he explains, shaking his head.
“I guess some things are just meant to remain in the dark,” you sigh. “So many mysteries in this world. Including this stupid black hole that sucked me in.”
Rafayel chuckles and pats your head. “Maybe it was just meant to be. I told you there must be a reason why you and I happened to be at the same place and time, right?”
“You really believe it wasn’t a mere coincidence?”
“Nope. Now I’m 100% sure that the universe wanted us to meet and be friends,” he says, his cheery and playful tone returning. “Look how things turned out. Don’t you think we both get along pretty well?”
“Friends, huh?” You poke him. “Do friends kiss each other?”
“Dunno,” he says coyly. “Do they?”
This time, you’re the one leaning in to capture his lips on yours. Eyes fluttering shut, you focus on the warmth and softness of his lips on yours. Rafayel lets out a small gasp of surprise, caught off-guard by your sudden bold move, but quickly returns your kiss with equal hunger.
As you kiss, you peer your eyes open to catch a glimpse of him. He’s unfairly handsome. That beautiful lavender hair, seductive sunset eyes, chiselled nose, and sharp jaw. Shit. You can’t believe you just did that. Surprised by your own actions, you break the kiss and part from him to see his reaction.
“Oh, you are one bold friend,” he whispers with a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
You swallow in embarrassment to his comment, cheeks heating up faster than a summer sun at noon.
“Let me repay the favour,” Rafayel says, his voice a sultry, low tone.
He goes in for a kiss, passionate yet sweet. He moves his mouth against yours, softly plying it open. The sweet taste of his lips, his hot breath against your skin—the effect he has on you is absurd.
“You’re looking a little flustered, cutie,” he murmurs against the kiss.
Your knees buckle at the nickname, and you can't help but berate yourself for it. When did he start using such a pet name so casually?
“And you like you’re about to pass out,” you reply with a teasing tone.
“Well, if it’s because of how beautiful you look right now, then, yes, I totally would,” he winks, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his firm body.
“You–! Ugh, just don’t stop kissing me.”
It urges him closer against you, warming you everywhere you connect. You kiss again, tongues and breath intermingling, heart rate speeding. For some reason, you feel more connected to him than ever. Maybe it’s because he just shared his precious past, or maybe it’s the after effect of sharing his energy with you. If Rafayel had been using his siren powers to enchant you, then it is working far too well.
You were just about to go in for another kiss, when suddenly, you feel your chest surging with a familiar tingling feeling. Immediately, you push Rafayel away from you.
“Oh no,” you start. “I can feel it coming.”
Confused, Rafayel looks up and down at you. “What’s coming?”
“My Evol!” you blurt out, embarrassed by the implication of your earlier statement. “My chest is acting weird again, and I think I’m about to do something.”
“What? Do something? Marin, take a deep breath,” Rafayel says, keeping a distance. “Take a deep inhale for four seconds… exhale…”
You try to follow Rafayel’s breathing exercise, but you can’t stop the feeling of something surging throughout your arms and palms. Without warning, you feel an energy wave pulse out of your palms and Rafayel’s table is sent flying across the room. The table crashes against the wall, leaving a noticeable dent on his porcelain white wall.
The ominous pulsing feeling settles down and your heart rate goes back to normal.
“Why did you have to throw my table?” Rafayel complains.
“It was better than throwing you!” you defend yourself while panting. “I tried to aim my hands at something else other than you or your paintings.”
“Are you okay?” Rafayel asks worriedly, running back to you. He takes your hands in his, and then holds a hand to your face. “Are you feeling any pain? Any dizziness?”
“No, no, I’m alright,” you say, catching your breath.
“Let’s sit down and relax first,” he says, eyebrows knit upwards in unease. “Maybe you should take a nap too.”
You groan and sigh at the same time. You can’t believe that just happened.
You did end up taking a short nap in his bed afterwards. The day was far from over, yet you were already feeling exhausted. Perhaps it was because Rafayel shared his abilities with you and seeing his memories was taxing on your human body, and of course, the Evol incident played a part in wearing you down too.
After you woke up, you and Rafayel decided to spend the rest of the day discussing what to paint for the first piece of the collaboration. Though you insisted that he chose the theme, he was adamant on getting your input as well. It feels surreal to be working with such an important figure in Linkon City’s art world, and you try your best to swallow down any impending feelings of impostor syndrome. You are aware that you’re nowhere near a professional’s level, yet, you don’t want to let your negative feelings sour this experience.
Rafayel decided that he wanted to explore something a little different for his first piece—something that can represent both of you. When you suggested painting a black hole looming over the sea, Rafayel was immediately on board with the idea.
“The black hole must be huge,” you say. “Not like the current rift above Linkon West Park, I’m talking like, gargantuan black hole huge.”
“You’re right. Both space and sea must both stand out as the subjects,” Rafayel hums.
“How about this for an outline?” you suggest, quickly sketching on a piece of paper. Instead of a sunset, the painting will have a massive black hole looming on the horizon, nearly eclipsing the sky. Its shape resembles the one you’ve seen depicted in scientific journals and space research, a dark void surrounded by swirling streams of light over, under, and across, distorted by gravitational lensing. You try your best to sketch out the accretion discs of the black hole from memory. It looked something like this in Interstellar.
“Now this is the kind of black hole worth painting,” you say, before suddenly getting self-conscious of Rafayel’s scrutinizing gaze. “Ah… but I’m not sure, if you think the sketch off, then we can—”
“I think it looks great! This is similar to the vision I had in mind,” he says with a snap of his fingers.
Your face lights up elatedly. “R-Really? It won’t be easy painting a black hole over an ocean like this though.”
“I like a challenge,” Rafayel says, resting a hand on his hip. “I’m inspired! My creative juices are flowing, I can feel it. Let’s get started.”
You smile at his enthusiasm and quickly take his sudden burst of inspiration as an opportunity to start the painting. You both put your aprons on, begin sketching on the canvas, and prepare the colours.
Mixing oil paints with Rafayel was painful and tedious. You already knew how picky he was with colours since that time he went bonkers over not finding the right shade of yellow and you had to pick out Coreopsis flowers to appease him. However, you learned more about colour theory from him than you ever did during your years of self-study as a teen. You absorbed every single information from him as if they were sacred knowledge, and followed his mixing techniques like a diligent apprentice. You were practically sucked into a painting masterclass with the best art professor that ever existed.
“The paint for the black hole must be extremely, extremely black,” Rafayel says. “So dark that when you see the painting, you feel like you’re actually going to be sucked inside it.”
“Do you have such a dark shade of black?” you ask. “You seem to use lighter colours in most of your works.”
“Unfortunately, I don't have it, cutie. But I can make it,” he winks.
“C—cutie?! Why do you keep calling me that?” you sputter, embarrassed.
Rafayel pokes your cheek with his finger. “Because you are one.”
You grab his finger and make a scrunched face at him.
“Hey, let me go! This finger needs to be in great condition for me to paint properly,” Rafayel whines. “Otherwise, I’ll need to go to the hospital, and you’ll have to look after me!”
“Drama queen,” you mutter.
Rafayel spent hours creating all types of colours and shades, but you enjoyed it as a part of the process nevertheless. You heard from Thomas that unlike most artists who use commercial paint brands, Rafayel prefers creating his own. Perhaps that’s what makes him different from the others, and as Linkon City’s most renowned artist.
When you finally took a break from paint-mixing, Rafayel said he wanted to teach you Evol control techniques. He said it was important that you learn some basic techniques as a new Evolver, and that these techniques were taught to anyone who just awakened their Evol. Apparently, there are even Evol training classes that Evolvers needed to take upon their first awakening. It’s crucial and urgent that you learn how to control your Evol to prevent accidents and putting yourself in danger, so you listened to him diligently.
“Most people awaken their Evols between the ages 6 to 8 years old, but it varies,” he explained. “Once a child begins showing signs of an Evol manifestation, they are immediately sent to train at an institution and to register their Evol. The city is very strict about Evol management.”
Rafayel taught you breathing techniques, energy control, and how to get a sense of the Evol within you. Every Evol is different, and to get a sense of what it is like, you need to have some knowledge of your Evol’s constitution.
Gravity, a natural phenomenon in which all things with mass or energy attract or gravitate toward one another, is a concept known to anyone living on an orbiting planet. Yes, you know gravity, but understanding how to use it is an entirely different story. Gravity Manipulation Evol is about forces and mass. Pulling and pushing forces. High and low mass. Gravity Manipulation would mean you could increase or decrease gravity of objects or environments.
Increasing the gravity of objects or an area would cause it to become heavier and propel to the ground, and using it on people could immobilize them on the spot. That must have been the case when Hian's men were crushed to the ground by an invisible force, and when you and Hian were pulled under the ice floor.
On the other hand, decreasing gravity would mean objects would become lighter, allowing you to either carry heavy objects with ease or achieve Zero Gravity, where things will simply float. When Rafayel said that things started floating around in your sleep, you must have unknowingly reduced the gravity in your surrounding area. With enough control and skill, you could attract or repel objects regardless of direction, but for now, you just needed to learn the basics. You had no idea how you were able to release such great gravitational forces during the fight with Hian’s men, perhaps it was out of sheer will to survive.
In any case, you know that you shouldn’t use this power carelessly, considering how powerful the previous Gravity Evolvers were. You and Rafayel read up on gravity and the past Gravity Evolvers again to understand what wielding this power is like. They were professional all-rounders in terms of use, but each were known to specialize in certain techniques.
The first Gravity Evolver was a young female Hunter named Altair in the Elite Team, known to use gravity offensively by hurling large objects at Wanderers to crush them. She had one of the highest Wanderer kills records because of her astonishing strength to move massive objects, even the Wanderers themselves. Altair was also active in city recovery and rescue missions, using her Evol to lift rubble and sometimes even buildings.
The second was a young male Deepspace Researcher named Sirius, who used his Gravity Evol for scientific research and experiments. He generated gravitational fields for scientists to test the endurance of spaceships, and even created Zero Gravity chambers for astronauts to train in. Sirius was often summoned by astrophysicists and aeroscientists, and played an important role in space research. Apparently, he won an award for publishing an extraordinary paper related to gravity and the Deepspace Tunnel.
The third Evolver was a male Hunter named Archernar, also in the Elite Team, known for his defensive use of Gravity Evol by creating gravitational force fields powerful enough to shield Hunters and citizens from Wanderer attacks. Archernar’s barriers were said to be so powerful that it once contained attacks from an S-Class Wanderer, and even countered the formation of a Protofield.
Despite wielding such powerful abilities, there were also limits imposed on Gravity Evolvers. When the first Gravity Evolver, Altair, manifested her Evol, a new law was established. Under no circumstances shall Gravity Evolvers engage in the attempt or generation of black holes.
Although no one has ever tried or succeeded, the Evol Police and astrophysicists knew the dangers of manipulating gravity, and would rather be safe than sorry. Mass, after all, if packed and condensed into a tiny space, would eventually generate gravity so strong that it would exert a powerful pull on light and everything in its surroundings. Sirius and Archernar themselves were able to create massive gravitational force fields, and Altair could manipulate significant amounts of mass, so who’s to say that they couldn’t generate a micro black hole if they really tried?
If someone actually succeeded in creating a black hole from their own hands, it would be one of the biggest, most insane historic achievements.
There was another law put in place: Under no circumstances shall Gravity Evolvers engage in the attempt or assist in the research of wormholes, time travel, or unauthorized Deepspace travel.
Throughout history, there have been attempts of unauthorized space research, and those who were caught are severely penalized by the death penalty. In this world, only the Deepspace Aviation Administration and the government are allowed to conduct authorized space research, and perhaps they knew there would be people attempting to take advantage of the Gravity Evolvers’ powers. However, that didn’t bother the Evolvers much, as they were focused on their own flourishing careers.
Regulations on Gravity Evolvers were strict, but that didn’t stop them from doing their honourable jobs. The first and third died relatively young in battle, while the second died from a chronic disease, but they were regarded as national heroes and exemplary Evolvers. Their achievements contributed greatly to society and science, and were lavishly praised by the public.
The fourth Gravity Evolver, however, still remains a mystery to the public, their whereabouts and status unknown. Many have criticized the fourth for disappearing under the radar, as the public expected them to be just as outstanding and accomplished as the previous Gravity Evolvers. The public were underwhelmed to learn that the fourth Gravity Evolver wanted nothing to do with being a hero of Linkon City, and some have even branded them as selfish for not using their powers for the greater good.
You may not know anything about the fourth, but you felt sympathy for the judgement they faced. Perhaps they had their reasons for avoiding the spotlight or not pursuing a career as a Hunter or Deepspace Researcher. The heavy expectations placed upon them must have been daunting, especially in light of the past Evolvers’ achievements. Maybe they just didn’t know what they wanted to accomplish in the first place.
“Does this make you the fifth?” Rafayel asked.
“I don’t think I count, since I’m not from here to begin with,” you muttered. “Besides, I have no intention of revealing myself to the public. They’d assume I’ve been the fourth Gravity Evolver in hiding all this time, and once the Evol Police get wind of it, I’m done for.”
“You’re right, we can’t risk exposing you to the public until you get your Evol under control,” Rafayel agreed.
After reading about the past Evolvers, you became more motivated to learn how to control your Evol. Using your Evol on different weights required varying levels of energy and understanding the approximate weight of each object.
“Try to imagine your Evol as flowing energy within you,” he instructed.
“I’m trying, but it’s difficult to imagine gravity itself,” you said, holding your palm in front of you. “And unlike flames or ice, I can’t even see it.”
“I know, I know,” Rafayel reassured you. “You could try to imagine a colour, like maybe purple, and imagine purple swirling inside you like blood flowing through your veins. Imagine slowly pushing the energy out of your palms, steadily. Visualize it. Feel it.”
You visualized swirling purple tendrils within your body, swimming from your chest to your arms, palms, and fingertips. After some breathing exercises, you stretched out your hand and attempted to manipulate the gravity of the book in front of you. The book did not move an inch, nor did you feel any sort of energy emanating from your palms. You tried again several more times. You slumped your shoulders, feeling defeated.
“Why does my Evol manifest when I’m least expecting it or when I don’t want it to,” you muttered.
“Sometimes, Evols are triggered by powerful emotions,” Rafayel said. “Why don’t you try using that to your advantage?”
“You want me to try getting mad while using my Evol?”
“Or.. get aroused.”
Your face flushes in embarrassment, recalling that time when your Evol suddenly manifested in the middle of kissing Rafayel. “...You–!”
“Hey! Are you trying to launch that book at me?!” Rafayel placed his arms in front of him defensively.
“If only that worked,” you sighed disappointedly.
Hours turned into days, and before you knew it, five days had already passed. Your routine for five days was basically: wake up, eat, paint, train your Evol, paint some more, and sleep.
You did this all with Rafayel by your side 24/7, of course. Ever since you slept in his bed that night, you started sleeping in his bedroom every night. You were reluctant to, at first, but Rafayel had been considerably adamant and clingy, and you fell too easily to his siren enchantments. Besides, he wanted to keep you by his side in case anything happened at night with your Evol.
It took three days for you to be able to manifest your Evol through sheer will for the first time, and within five days, you were able to perform basic Gravity Manipulation on light to medium-weight objects.
You practiced using your Gravity Evol on objects of varying weights, including paper, books, and furniture. When you finally saw the paper hover and fly up into the air for the first time, you screamed with joy.
“That was definitely not the wind!” you exclaimed. “It—It flew!”
“Now try the book,” Rafayel said.
You visualized the purple colours once again, and imagined pulling energy out of the book. You imagined purple tendrils emerging from the book and into your palms, and lo and behold, the book began to float into the air.
“The book! It worked!” you shrieked in joy once more. “Zero gravity!”
Rafayel caught the book before it starts floating to the ceiling. “Now try and bring back its weight.”
“Okay, hold on,” you said, concentrating.
You imagine pushing the purple energy back into the book, causing it to regain its mass. The book drops to the ground with a thud.
“I did it!”
“You are a formidable student indeed,” Rafayel hummed, stroking his imaginary beard. “It’s decided! You have been promoted from personal assistant to apprentice!”
“Gee, thanks,” you said.
After five days of practice, you could easily manipulate the gravity of light to medium-weight objects. You also discovered that by concentrating energy in your palms, you could create a gravitational field, pulling objects toward you like a magnet.
On top of Evol training, your painting progress was going smoothly as well. Those five days were filled with never ending curiosity and joy as you truly immersed yourself in your art and newfound powers. It was fascinating to gain a new ability, and it felt like you were in a fantasy movie.
You also found yourself admiring Rafayel’s way of life much more than you initially did. He truly only paints for the sake of painting and because he loves it, not ever mentioning once of what his fans or critics will think of him. He never even touched on the topic of the collaboration being successful or winning an award, he simply wanted to paint with you.
“Can I ask you something?” Rafayel asks in the middle of painting.
“Mhm,” you reply as you continue mixing paints.
“If let’s say, you actually do manage to go back to your world through the black hole,” he starts, “what are you going to do?”
“What am I gonna do about what?” you blanch at his open-ended question. “You mean, about my job or..?”
“About everything. Your job, your family and friends.. they must be worried sick. Assuming time passes the same way there as it does here, wouldn’t your boss fire you because you’ve been gone for a month or more with no word?”
“Probably,” you say, gripping your paintbrush anxiously, “but what can I do about it? But I won’t have to worry about that if I stay here!”
Rafayel stops painting and glances at you. “Is that what you really want?”
“Do you not want me to stay here with you?” you pout.
“It’s not that, silly. You know that I’m just worried about the energy incompatibilities,” he says, concern evident on his face. “I don’t want you to keep suffering here. At least until we find a legitimate way to subdue it.”
“So far, the vitamin boosters are working. I got a chest pain attack yesterday night, and the pain level is significantly lower than what it used to be.”
At this, he furrows his brows. “You had an attack? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to wake you, besides, it wasn’t as bad as the previous ones,” you say, avoiding eye contact.
“Marin..”
“Anyway, back to the topic, even if I do make it back to my world, what can I do about getting fired? Actually, I think I might be happy. I have been thinking about resigning, and now I won’t have to.”
“Then.. what will you do?”
“Maybe give myself a career break, but eventually.. I think I will have to hustle again and find another job, and find out what I really want to achieve in this life. Ugh. Just thinking about jobs and careers makes me sick,” you groan, smacking a paintbrush repeatedly on your forehead. “I would hate to go back to my old life and feel that empty sense of purposelessness again. Can’t I just stay here with you?”
“You’re still hung up on that whole achievement thing, huh?” Rafayel asks, not taking his eyes off the painting. “Why would you rather stay here than go back?”
“Because over there, there are.. expectations I have to meet and roles I need to play,” you mutter. “I can’t just go off the radar and do whatever I want. But here, it’s just you and me, and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I can spend my days painting with you, without a care in the world. Also, I get to leech off you while I’m here, so…”
“You really put so much pressure on yourself to succeed, huh?” he says, lightly smacking the end of his paintbrush against your head. “Life isn’t all about money and success.”
Before the art exhibition, you had a conversation with Rafayel where he told you that you didn’t need to find some grand purpose or fulfil a big achievement to live a life worth living. You didn’t really understand how that was possible, seeing how everyone equates success with money or prestige, and struggled to understand doing things only for “yourself”. You still felt like you were missing something.
“I know… but how were you able to live with such a carefree mindset?” you ask, rubbing the spot on your head where Rafayel smacked you.
“You know,” Rafayel says, and resumes with his painting. “Our upbringing has a lot to do with how we view life and approach it. For most humans, they are like you — conditioned to chase for success in ways that are tried and tested. Get the degree, the job, the promotions, the house, and all that. I’m sure it doesn’t help to see how they’ve shunned others who stray from this manufactured path. So I don’t blame you for finding it difficult to consider that there are other ways to live life.”
“You’re right. I do feel rather.. narrow-minded,” you admit. “Back in Lemuria, this kind of stuff didn’t matter to you guys, right?”
“Of course not. This sort of lifestyle is exclusive to humans,” Rafayel chuckles. “I found it interesting in the beginning, but over the years, I learnt about its flaws as well. Us Lemurians simply lived day by day, and had no such thing as grand achievements we needed to accomplish. We didn’t have to worry about money either, because we hunted our own food and shared it.”
“How nice,” you sigh. “But ever since you guys started living as humans, did you Lemurians start thinking like us too?”
“Some Lemurians did, some didn’t, but we did what we needed to survive, even if it meant working like humans do. But the longer I lived as a human, the more I appreciated the simple things in life, rather than always looking towards the future and what I can achieve in this life,” he says, staring at the canvas longingly. “To live simply and sit by the window when it rains, to eat delicious hot food, to feel the wind on your face and smell the fresh scent of flowers. Isn’t that enough?”
You grip your paintbrush and gnaw on your lip, deep in thought. No one has ever told you that it was enough to simply be human and enjoy simple, humanly things.
“Marin, you know exactly what you really want,” Rafayel says. “You’re just not giving yourself the permission to go for it.”
What I really want?
Ocean blue eyes meet yours. Rafayel sighs. “If suddenly, tomorrow, you woke up and had to go back to work and live like that for the next 20 years, would you want to?”
“N—No!” you exclaim.
“Exactly,” he says with a determined expression. “I think the reason why you feel so purposeless is because you’re shutting out that option from your life. The option to become what you really want to be — an artist.”
Shutting it out? Have I been unconsciously shutting out that option the entire time?
“And if I told you that tomorrow, you could wake up as fulltime artist and spend everyday painting, would you want to?” Rafayel questions.
You ponder on it, but Rafayel was quick to catch your overthinking.
“Nope, nope, stop that,” he says, tapping your head with his paintbrush yet again. “No overthinking about money or whether you succeed or not. Just assume that you’ve made it as an artist. Would you want to, or no?”
You nod meekly.
“There you go,” he says. “Marin, be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to what your heart and soul tells you, instead of the expectations of others. The reason why you feel so empty and directionless is because you’re not doing what you really want, and you shut out other possible paths than the one you’re on now.”
“I.. I see,” you murmur, setting down your paintbrush and placing your hands on your lap. “I think.. I am afraid of failing and of being judged. Do you think so?”
Rafayel nods. “It’s not wrong to feel that way. Let me tell you something I learned from my Lemurian Elders. They always told us Lemurians that our main purpose was to just exist and simply be. Whatever else we wanted to do or achieve, whether it’s becoming the best singer in the deep sea or a Lemurian Elder, that is just our secondary purpose. When I started living as a human, I carried those principles with me, maybe that’s why I’m the way I am. To experience what it’s like to live as a human – that is our main purpose, isn’t it?”
Lemurians sure have an interesting way of thinking. “Secondary purpose?” you ask.
“Yup. Secondary,” he says simply. “You are enough just by being here and experiencing life. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone or anything. Even if you never end up achieving anything great in this life, you are already valuable and worthy just by existing .”
Your heart speeds up, as if struck by small epiphanies lighting up the dark corners within you. Hearing this from Rafayel fills you with a buoyant sensation, a lightness spreading deep inside. Then, you’re hit with a mental clarity unlike anything you’ve experienced before.
For some reason, your mind takes you back to the first time you painted in Rafayel’s art studio, when you were first deciding on what to paint. You reminisced about the paintings you used to create, and remembered that you liked painting nature, whether it was skies or mountains or people. People are a part of nature too, after all.
Right. How could you have missed that? All along, you knew it deep within you.
You’d never judge cats or sparrows for not striving to achieve something great, nor would you question a tree’s worth based on how much oxygen it produces. You don’t question why animals and plants exist or what the purpose of these natural entities are; they simply exist. So why measure people by their earnings or the checklists they complete? People are part of nature too, and by simply existing, you’ve already fulfilled your purpose, haven’t you?
“Maybe you’re right,” you start with a small laugh, voice unsteady, mind racing. “Why didn’t I realize this sooner?”
Rafayel leans in to take your hands in his. “Existence in itself is meaningful and sufficient, just like how grateful I am to have experienced life as a human. I hope you remember that.”
You smile warmly at him. Living multiple lifetimes and remembering them all surely makes one wiser than others.
You spend the rest of day painting in comfortable silence, thinking over Rafayel’s words as you swirl and stroke your paintbrush on the canvas. Afternoon bleeds into dusk, and soon, the painting is complete.
You stare at the finished painting, feeling an overwhelming sense of joy at your creation. Yes, this is what you’re meant to do. To create. The black hole looming over the vast ocean is hauntingly beautiful, as if Earth was really orbiting around a gargantuan black hole. Just by looking at it, you feel the pull of the event horizon, as if you’d get sucked into that infinite darkness.
Rafayel’s painting skills are truly unparalleled. To be able to create paint this dark and a scenery this realistic, this beautiful, this perfect — it’s the type of talent anyone would die for.
You think you did a better job than you expected with painting the accretion discs and the fading rays of light in the black hole’s event horizon. You give yourself an imaginary pat on the back.
“You did well,” Rafayel says. “You are good, you know.”
“Thank you,” you reply sheepishly. “I didn’t think I could pull it off.”
Rafayel pats your head. “I never doubted you. Besides, what’s important is that you had fun.”
“I did,” you smile. “I had so much fun.”
“It feels good, doesn’t it? That feeling when you finish a painting and you take everything in, it’s euphoric. The best kind of high. I don’t know why anybody does drugs.”
“Yeah,” you laugh. “It feels amazing. This artwork.. I can stare at it all day. I would never want to sell this painting. I love it.”
Rafayel ghosts his fingers over the edges of the black hole. “And now, you’ve reached the event horizon. A point of no return. Once you remember what it’s like to truly love art and realize what you’re meant to do, you can’t go back. You just.. let yourself freefall into the singularity.”
“Even without knowing what’s beyond the event horizon?” you ask, watching Rafayel move his fingers towards the inner part of the black hole.
Rafayel simply smiles. “Even without knowing what’s beyond the event horizon.”