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Sunless Dusting Libraries by ItsMayBiTheWay
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
29 Jan 2024
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Summary
Henry should leave, he should wait until everyone is asleep and then silently leave, without a trace. As if he never existed in Alex's life, as if he never touched Alex's body, as if he never wanted only exist in his heart and mind.
Because that is what Alex deserves. Alex deserves someone who can love him out and proud, someone who is not shamed for his existence, someone as bright as him, not the pale starlight gleam Henry is.
But lying there on the pile of mattresses they piled together and called a bed- Henry can not even find it in himself to breathe, let alone get up and go. Betrayed by his own existence, once again.
OR
What-If taken by a depressive episode, Henry can not leave the lake house
Series
- Part 5 of RWRB What-If's
- Part 1 of Fights Worth Fighting For
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Bookmark Notes:
“I can’t handle his love Bea. The intensity of my feelings were something I could handle. I handed over my heart to him in Rio, my body in his room in the White House, and my soul in Paris.
“Nothing that surrounded me this solidly has been good. It was sadness and grief, anxiety and expectations, years of history bearing down on my shoulders. I expected my love to consume me as well.
“There was supposed to be an expiration date to his affection, the fire in his loins was surely bound to simmer down. He was going to get tired of me, leave me and my sadness. Have his fill and find something better, something worthy of him.
“But he had the audacity to love me back. I can shove pain down inside of me, lock worry up, brace sadness and function. I don’t know what to do with hope, Bea.” -
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