Chapter Text
Kyle sat on his childhood sofa, shoving his face right into Stan’s, who didn’t back down and stared back at him with the same stubborn determination.
“Stanley.”
“What?”
“You know what,” Kyle growled, shoving the bottle of liquid medicine in Stan’s face.
Stan faced forward and closed his eyes. “Can’t. I’m too busy reading this,” he said, obnoxiously flipping and fluffing the papers in his hands to show how busy he was.
Kyle picked up his laptop and plopped it on the coffee table, then snatched the papers out of Stan’s grip and tossed them right next to his laptop. “No you aren’t. You’ve already signed the thing.” Kyle grabbed the bottle again and the spoon he got earlier and popped open the lid. Right before any spilled onto the spoon, Stan flicked the metal utensil, flinging it out of Kyle’s grasp and onto the floor.
“Stan!”
Stan sat back with a confident, pleased smile as Kyle huffed dramatically. The ginger picked up the spoon and got up to toss it in the sink, returning moments later with a new one behind his back. He took the element of surprise approach and tackled Stan, pinning him to the couch. He pulled the spoon into view and quickly started pouring. “You jerk around and it’s gonna spill on you,” he threatened, knowing Stan would start thrashing when he saw the new spoon.
Stan hesitated, deciding to heed Kyle’s warning, but that didn’t mean he was about to comply.
“I don’t. Need it,” Stan spat out through clenched teeth.
“If you didn’t need it, the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed it, would she?”
Stan grumbled at the memory. The second they got back to South Park, Kyle dragged him to the doctor, an appointment already made (he did it in the car ride), and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. The only reason Stan complied so easily was because he genuinely thought it was a waste of time and that the doctor would agree, so he went to amuse Kyle. He didn’t expect the doctor to agree with him – rather concerningly so; she even prescribed him heavy painkillers. Apparently, Kyle’s concern was justified.
But Stan was a stubborn little asshole who’d rather ‘tough it out.’
Not on Kyle’s watch. Especially when Stan would choke on a cough followed by a whine. Kyle’s had to force Stan to take medicine throughout their childhood even for minor things. Stan was going to empty the bottle the doctor gave him.
Kyle leaned back once he finished filling up the spoon, silently signaling Stan to prop himself up so he could take the spoonful without spilling it, but Stan only needed one arm to do that. The other one grabbed Kyle’s wrist, stopping it from getting closer.
“Don’t make me tie your hands up behind your back!”
Stan smirked. “Kinky. You could do a lot less to get me in the mood, you know. Ear nibbling, high socks.”
Kyle lowered the spoon, presumably falling for Stan’s distraction. “High socks, huh? I guess I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Please do,” Stan said slyly, trying to keep his voice a higher pitch since it hurt when it got raspy.
“But,” Kyle looked at Stan through half-lidded eyes as he leaned down, “you want to know what really gets me going?” he asked in a soft, seductive voice.
Stan listened intently, nodding.
“You… taking your FUCKING medicine so you’ll get better!!”
Stan pouted. “Being healthy is overrated,” he mumbled, tilting his head to the side as Kyle tried to shove the spoon closer again.
The spoon started to shake slightly as Kyle tried to push it closer, but Stan’s grip was as strong as iron. They were stuck in a stalemate until their struggle was interrupted by the front door slamming open.
Kyle’s family came barreling through the door, just returning from their own trip with the Marshs, McCormicks, and Mrs. Cartman. Stan and Kyle watched as they tossed their bags through the doorway while yelling to make sure they could hear each other over their banging.
Kyle recovered from the distraction quickly, used to it. While Stan was still preoccupied watching the chaos, Kyle shoved the spoonful of medicine past his lips. Stan recoiled back once he realized what was in his mouth.
Kyle smiled with satisfaction as he pulled out the empty spoon, taking in a bit of amusement at Stan’s scrunched-up, grossed-out expression as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat.
Kyle put the spoon down on the table and rubbed his finger behind Stan’s ear. “See? That wasn’t so bad,” he said sweetly, as if he didn’t just assault him.
Stan let his head fall back on the cushion. “I’m breaking up with you.”
Kyle laughed and picked up his laptop again before settling on Stan’s shoulder once the man picked himself back up. He opened the screen and went back to searching nearby vacation spots, snuggling closer when Stan put his arm around him.
Ike dropped his suitcase off in his room and grabbed a snack before plopping down on the free cushion on the couch, not even batting an eye at his brother and his close proximity to Stan.
“Ike, go separate your clothes so I can do laundry,” Sheila barked out, entering through the front door again with her third bag.
Ike whined in the back of his throat, just getting comfortable. “In a minute, Mom, I was asking Kyle about his trip,” he responded, trying to give himself a little bit more time to procrastinate.
“No you weren’t,” Kyle mumbled, but it was physically impossible to hear him over the bag his mother was carrying hitting the floor, lying in a forgotten pile with the others.
“Oh, Bubbie!” She exclaimed, wrapping Kyle in a bear hug.
“Hi, Ma,” he mumbled into her shirt. “How was your trip to New York?”
“It was wonderful! Your fathers took me and Sharon to some of the best musicals I’ve ever seen!” Gerald had a grin on his face as he walked by them, taking some of the bags up the stairs.
“You don’t wanna know the rest,” Ike grumbled, face going a little pale. Kyle and Stan grimiced too at the idea.
“What about your trip? Did you boys have fun in San Diego?”
“It was a bit of a rough start as always, but it was fantastic,” Kyle answered truthfully.
“That’s great! I was worried you might get tired of the same three activities.”
“There was actually a lot going on all the time,” Kyle laughed, “but it was probably the best trip I’ve been on,” he finished with a small smile. He looked up at Stan who shared his sweet smile and lightly squeezed his shoulder.
It really did start off rocky, but everything turned out better than he could have ever imagined. It was literally his dream vacation: nothing but relaxing while Cartman did all of their chores, and the rest of them got to order him around, all while he and Stan got closer than ever. They never said anything, they didn’t really need to; Kenny could tell and they never told Cartman anything. Not only that, but it was a little bonus watching Cartman grow exponentially pissier when he saw Stan and Kyle hanging on each other when he spent so much time pushing them apart. Kyle normally didn’t like seeing people in a bad mood, but he had a little sadistic side reserved for Cartman’s deserved bad karma.
“That’s wonderful news! I can’t wait to hear all about it!” she happily exclaimed before walking off to start her unpacking process.
Kyle smiled and nodded, already knowing he wouldn’t be telling them over half of the shit, out of respect for Stan’s immune system, the promise they made to Cartman since he kept his part, and because they might have done some more activities that would stay between only the two of them.
Ike leaned over, munching casually on some Cheesy Poofs as he scanned Kyle’s discarded laptop screen. He tapped the mousepad to light up the dimmed screen, looking at the pictures on the screen. “Are you all going on another trip? You better take me with you this time. I’ll go hide in Kenny’s suitcase if I have to.”
“Kenny’s busy catching up with Butters after being away for half a month so that’s not gonna work this time, and we’ve had enough of Cartman to last us a whole decade, so for your sake, I wouldn’t scheme anything around him.”
“Wait, so you actually are?”
Kyle picked up his laptop and put it back on his lap. “We really enjoyed our vacation, so Stan and I were thinking about doing a short, one or two-day trip. It would be nice just the two of us.”
“Just don’t spend too much. I don’t want you cutting into my college funds,” Ike teased, already figuring that his brother was spending his own money on the trip based on the Excel sheet filled with prices.
Sheila walked into the living room, catching the end of their conversation. She had a worried look, the one she always had when she disapproved but didn’t want to tell you what to do. She always ended up heavily hinting at it though. “That sounds nice, Kyle, but are you sure that’s what you should be looking into? With your roommate graduating, if you go on another trip, you might not have enough for the full rent. Perhaps you should look into that first before thinking about spending money on a trip.”
“I actually have thought about that,” Kyle smiled. He looked over as Stan picked up the papers on the table, flipping them to the front page and showing the large bold letters of the rental agreement and his signature at the bottom of the page.
“You two are moving in together? That’s great news! I trust him a lot more than some stranger. I’m honestly surprised you boys didn’t get a place together sooner.”
“Yeah. It’s cheaper for both of us, and we’d both prefer to live with each other anyway.”
“Gerald! Did you hear? Stan’s going to be Kyle’s new roommate!” Sheila called out, walking away from them. She started to say something else, but her voice became more muffled as she went upstairs, and they tuned it out when Ike spoke.
“Dope. Means you should have money left over and you can take me with you.”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “You’re persistent today, aren’t you?”
“I’ve been stuck with all the parents for two weeks and you’re ditching me again right as we get back. Take me with you!” Ike pouted. He didn’t want to say it, but Kyle could tell Ike missed him.
“It’ll only be a day. Two tops. Promise. You can deal with Mom and Dad for two days. You have for 16 years.”
“Yeah, but I’d rather be at Pagosa Springs than here,” Ike tried.
Kyle smirked and looked over at Stan and grabbed his hand. “Trust me, you don’t.”
Ike’s face went sour. “Gross. But about fucking time!” Ike scoffed at their somewhat shocked faces. “Everyone knew you guys had a boner for each other. I’m pretty sure Mom and Dad thought you two were dating in high school until you guys didn’t room together in college. Why do you think nobody even bothers to question you two even when you’re lying on each other?”
Stan and Kyle stared down at their position, both embarrassed. “... At least they should take the news well,” Stan softly stated with a nervous chuckle.
Ike got up to toss the now-empty bowl into the sink. “I’m crashing in that spare room in your apartment on Wednesday nights after my game group gets out.”
“I thought your place only had two bedrooms?” Stan asked.
“Technically ours now, and yes, it does.”
“Like you’re going to be sleeping in separate rooms,” Ike muttered sarcastically from the kitchen. He wasn’t wrong. “Maybe I’ll stay every other week. We should also designate Wednesdays as KFC night. And you should put that old TV in the extra room so I can watch my Canadian channels.” He walked back into the living room and was met with an unamused expression from his brother. “What?”
“Who said you could stay with me, butthole?”
“I did. Just now.”
“Piss off.”
“Wow. Rude.”
“Deserved. Now get out of my face.”
“Ike! Go get your clothes!” Sheila scolded.
Ike flinched and Kyle snickered, even sticking out his tongue when Ike passed by him. He grumbled as he went up the stairs.
“What were you boys chatting about?” Gerald asked as Ike passed him at the top of the stairs.
“Just that Stan and Kyle didn’t use a condom.”
Both boys went pale and almost gave themselves whiplash as they turned to look at Ike. The Canadian grinned mischievously before ducking into his room as his mom shouted.
“WHAT WHAT WHAAAT???”
“I’m going to kill that fucker,” Kyle simultaneously growled and whined as he heard his parents shuffling down the stairs.