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The egg timer was a mistake. Crowley could see that now. Unfortunately, he did not have such foresight when he decided to get it for their kitchen. He thought it was funny at the time, truth be told.
After all, how could an egg timer shaped to look like a Fabergé egg and made of the tackiest plastic imaginable not be funny? He had been chuckling to himself as he got it, already imagining Aziraphale’s offended look at the very sight of the thing.
Instead, the angel’s face remained carefully neutral. He then placed the object, which somehow managed to be an offence to the history of artwork and kitchen utensils combined, with great care on a prominent shelf in their kitchen.
Crowley had swallowed the commentary he had been about to offer and left it be, hoping he’d get used to seeing it after a while. If he’d got used to interacting with Hastur, he certainly could manage looking at an unsightly kitchen accessory.
Only, Aziraphale went a step further and actually decided to use the thing. Which was how Crowley learned two things in rapid succession.
The timer emitted a shrill, grating sound of surprising volume that made claws on a blackboard seem like a pleasant alternative.
And Mango, who had been sleeping on a windowsill, really didn’t like sudden sharp sounds that then just kept going.
As the feline was the only one present with no particular skill in doing miracles, it was rather impressive how he managed to practically teleport from his previous spot and into Crowley’s arms.
“Turn that thing off, Aziraphale, will you?” the demon shouted over the sound of the timer, doing his best to ease the clawing grip of Mango who was holding onto him as if he was his sole chance of survival.
The angel looked at the detestable noise maker. “I don’t know if you can actually turn it off. It looks like it’s supposed to simply run its course.”
“Or you could just smash it with a frying pan.”
“Really now, there is no need for such measures.” The angel snapped his fingers, and the item was suddenly encased in a small sound barrier– which was approximately the moment when it grew silent anyway.
“Mneeouw,” Mango complained about the situation, now that he had a chance to be remotely audible.
“I know, my ears are still ringing too,” Crowley agreed, holding the cat securely and trying to offer some comfort. “That’s still no reason to make holes in my shirt. I’m not a fan of torn fabric as a fashion statement.”
“Mraouwr,” the cat insisted, not loosening his grip.
“Seriously, you can let go now. We won’t set this thing off again.”
“Oh, yes, I’m terribly sorry you got so spooked, Mango,” the angel added in a conciliatory voice. “I never realised it would make quite this much noise. I would never have disturbed your rest on purpose.”
“Mnrow?”
The angel came forward and gently ran his hand through the fur on Mango’s head. “Shall we make the best of this unfortunate situation and see how the eggs turned out? I imagine some egg yolk would be just the thing to calm your nerves after this.”
“Mrrn?”
The grip on Crowley’s arm loosened a bit, and the demon took the opportunity to set the cat down next to his bowl just as Aziraphale was finishing peeling the egg.
“I still don’t know why you used that thing, angel,” the demon remarked, indicating the timer. “Didn’t you have some perfectly calculated method of reciting a Keats poem twice?”
The angel might have blushed slightly, or it might have been just a trick of light as he was straightening from placing the egg yolk in Mango’s bowl. The feline rubbed against his leg before starting the snack, so presumably all was forgiven. “Ah, yes, of course. I just thought I might as well give the timer a try since it was sitting right there.”
“Speaking of, why did you even keep the thing?”
“Really, Crowley. Why wouldn’t I keep it? You bought it for our kitchen.”
“And you saw it was ugly the moment you laid eyes on it.”
“Well, it wasn’t exactly my taste, that is true. But I will freely admit that I find it rather hard to appreciate modern art so that’s hardly any measure of its artistic quality. And you usually prefer such a minimalist design with only a few bold accents here and there, I was glad to see your addition to our cosy little kitchen.”
“It– I– Ngh. I bought other things for the kitchen, too, if you recall.”
“Indeed. You bought solely the things you knew were exactly my taste.” Aziraphale looked at him meaningfully before taking the egg timer and placing it back on the shelf of honour. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated every one on those but that still made the place into something I could have come up with myself. This was the only item that I could honestly say I would never buy which is what made it special. This is what made this place properly ours.”
“Doesn’t make it any less ugly.”
“Perhaps. But it makes it special.”
“You could have said something. I could have got us a huge stainless steel espresso machine with a digital display instead.”
“You still can, my dear.” The angel looked genuinely delighted. “But the egg timer is still staying right where it is. Though perhaps we may refrain from using it in the future.”