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Our secret moments in your crowded room
They got no idea about me and you
One hand gently placed on the middle of your back alerted you to his presence.
“You look stunning,” He said, low enough that no one else could overhear.
Luckily, your make-up artist had made sure you wore a full coverage foundation, as the blush tinting your cheeks would’ve been noticeable if not.
“You don’t look too shabby yourself,” you replied, glancing up at him with a small smile on your face.
You had been eyeing him the entire night, his salt-and-pepper hair hung around his face, only making his blue eyes pop due to the sharp contrast of the colors.
To anyone else, it would look like two co-stars speaking at the premiere of their movie. They wouldn’t see the way you two wanted to step closer to each other, to latch to each other’s hand, or share an excited and proud kiss.
There is an indentation in the shape of you
Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
Cillian had made sure to take things slow with you. You were younger and he was the leading actor in the movie and he wanted to make sure there was no question about power imbalances. He made sure you were comfortable and that you knew he would’ve never used that power over you to force you into something you weren’t comfortable with. It was up to you to make the first moves… from the first kiss to the first of others.
The day after the night all of the clothes the two of you wore had been shed for the first time, you’d found extremely small bruises on your hips from his grip the night before.
“I didn’t realize I had… I’m sorry,” Cillian apologized, kissing your cheek softly as his fingers ghosted over the bruises.
“Don’t apologize. I rather like the marks and the memories they bring back,” you said, turning to him and kissing him.
All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation
My hands are shaking from holding back from you
All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting
My hands are shaking from all this
Your hands shook as you gave him the documents. Your character was supposed to be nervous, but the shaking of your hands went beyond your character.
You were surrounded by some of the greatest actors, and while you were no new actor yourself, it was still nerve wracking to stand in front of all of them, along with Chris, as they watched you. It was even more nerve wracking to have Cillian’s eyes following you — your character — as you entered the room and handed over the documents.
The shaking in your hands lessened once the scene was finished, but you still saw the way your tea wobbled just slightly when Cillian walked to you.
You wanted nothing more than to pull him close to you, but at this point, the two of you had only just begun talking. The flirty undertones were nothing near enough for you to feel confident enough making a move.
Say my name and everything just stops
I don't want you like a best friend
Only bought this dress so you could take it off
Take it off
Your heart stuttered every time he said your real name and not your character's name. When he called your name this time it was no different.
“How are you?” He asked, joining by your side as you walked away from the restaurant.
Emily had seen some of your works and was a fan of them; she had made sure to include you when inviting other members out to dinners like the one that had just finished. This was one of the few times Cillian had agreed to join and hadn’t had a reason he needed to stay behind.
You weren’t sure if it was your imagination or not, but you thought his eyes lingered on the way the dress hugged your waist for a second longer than what would be seen as just looking you over.
Your pleasant conversation continued until you reached the front door of the guest house you were placed in until your part of the filming was completed.
“Green?” He questioned as his eyes trailed down your figure again and you smirked.
“Green has always been my favorite,” you said, feigning innocence.
“I’m sure it has… it’s starting to become my own,” he told you, one hand settling on your waist to bring you closer to him.
“You said that first bit like you don’t believe me, Murphy,” you teased as your arms came to wrap around his neck.
“Perhaps I don’t,” he replied. His forehead rested against yours, tone still light and teasing despite the tension and proximity.
“Well I can’t possibly reveal the truth,” you teased back.
“And what would that be?”
“That your agreeing with Robert’s comment about us seeming to become very close ‘best friends’ a couple days ago caused me a great deal of jealousy and I’ve noticed the way your eyes seem to linger when the costume department puts me in something green. I could never tell you that or the other truth.”
Carve your name into my bedpost
'Cause I don't want you like a best friend
Only bought this dress so you could take it off
Take it off
“What was the other truth?” He asked, slowing his thrusts to a teasing pace as his hands gripped the frame of the bed.
“What?” You asked, confused on what he meant as your mind was only clouded with the pleasure he made you feel.
“The other truth, from earlier,” he said again, his hips still moving at the agonizingly slow pace.
You blushed as you realized what he meant and at the thought of revealing the little secret, despite the fact you were both naked with him buried inside of you.
At your lack of response, he moved one hand to grip your thigh and push it towards your chest, allowing himself to be buried even deeper inside you. The action caused your eyes to roll back,
“The other truth, doll,” he prompted.
“I wore the dress for more than just the color. I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me once we’re alone and I wanted you to stop holding back,” you told him.
“You could have just told me, didn’t need to spend an entire night teasing me,” he said and began picking up the pace of his hips again, causing your head to drop back and a moan to leave your lips.
Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try
And if I get burned, at least we were electrified
I'm spilling wine in the bathtub
You kiss my face and we're both drunk
Everyone thinks that they know us
But they know nothing about
Giggles filled the air as your glasses met in the bathtub you shared, the light pink liquid spilling over the sides.
“We have filming tomorrow and we’re both going to be incredibly hungover,” you said with a wide smile on your face.
“One of us will have to pretend to be okay. Most of the crew already has suspicions,” Cillian replied, still smiling.
“And what have they said about it?” You asked as you took another sip of wine, your interest peaked by his comment.
Cillian shook his head, a look of distaste taking over his features as some of the comments replayed in his mind.
“That bad?” You asked as your face fell.
“The comments we expected,” he replied as he took a large drink of wine.
“You’re lucky to be sleeping with a younger woman, but you need to watch out because I’m after fame and your money?” You asked him, your tone revealing that you already knew the answer.
Cillian nodded and your face fell further. You looked away from him and down at the wine in your glass.
“Do you think we’re moving too fast?” You asked.
The water sloshed around you as Cillian scooted himself closer to you, his finger coming underneath your chin and lifting your face to look him in the eyes.
“Everyone is going to have something to say. Even if we were sharing equally large roles and the exact same age.” He said in a firm voice.
You nodded in response as you knew he was right.
“They know nothing,” he said as he leaned in, kissing you softly.
Flashback when you met me
Your buzzcut and my hair bleached
You hadn’t stepped foot onto the set of “Oppenheimer” until a couple months after filming had begun, due to the nature of your smaller part. You played a wife to one of the scientists involved in the making of the atomic bomb and only had a couple lines, but you had captured Cillian’s eye on the first day.
After his divorce two years prior, he hadn’t tried looking for anyone else. He had focused on his kids and his career. You coming along and capturing his attention had been unexpected and he had tried to ignore the attraction he felt at first, only to fall victim to your charm during a break in filming on your first day on set.
A week later you two exchanged phone numbers. A month later and you two were sneaking around on set like you were children all over again. One of you would somehow sneak to the other after filming was complete for the day.
The first time he had fallen asleep at your place, the overnight stay being completely unplanned and you had awoken to hear him let out a surprised “fuck!” before he gathered up his things and left in a rush.
You still had another hour before you had to be on set and laid back down in bed, scrolling through your phone. Rolling over, you noticed the spot he had left was still warm and filled with his scent.
‘I hate this haircut so much. Way too short.’ He texted.
‘I hate this hair color. Way too blonde.’ You replied.
Even in my worst times
You could see the best of me
“It’s one simple fucking scene and I can’t get it right!” He shouted in frustration.
Cillian had shown up an hour prior, saying he needed your help running lines. He was supposed to film the scene where Oppenheimer brings the calculations to Einstein tomorrow and had been pressuring himself over it the entire week.
“It’s not simple though, Cill. You’ve been working nonstop and your character is facing a huge moral conflict in this scene that you have to manage to portray in a subtle way. You’re not just doing your best, you’re doing amazing,” you tell him, standing up and walking over to him.
You gently take the script from his hands and set it down then take his hand in yours to bring it to your lips, placing a soft kiss on his palm.
“I’m sorry for snapping,” he said, pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head.
“Don’t be. You’re allowed to be frustrated,” you replied as you wrapped your arms around him.
Flashback to my mistakes
My rebounds, my earthquakes
“I didn’t say I was proud of it,” Cillian said with a laugh.
“Two weeks?” You questioned and your own laughter followed, showing you weren’t holding it against him.
“I haven’t been single since I was 27, I went a little crazy,” he explained as if trying to defend himself.
“I’m not passing judgment, Cill… as long as you didn’t catch anything,” you teased, causing both of you to burst into a fit of giggles.
Even in my worst lies
You saw the truth in me
“A home wrecking whore,” you said through tears, slapping the magazine down in front of him, “we didn’t even know each other two years ago and somehow I’m the reason your marriage ended.”
Yours and Cillian’s relationship hadn’t even been confirmed and already the cruel rumors had started. It was one photo of the two of you leaving a cast dinner, cropped around to look like it was just the two of you and conveniently not showing the other actors that were trailing right behind you.
Cillian was standing with his arms around you in seconds while he placed kisses on the top of your head then on both of your cheeks.
“You know better than to listen to that… that… shit,” he said, words failing what he really wanted to call that article, “you’re the woman who came around at the exact moment you were supposed to.”
And I woke up just in time
Now I wake up by your side
Light flickered into the room, Cillian’s arms were wrapped around your waist, and, for once, the sound of an alarm wasn’t what woke you up. You rolled over in his arms, facing his chest. Even at the small size he had to be for his role, you could still bury your head in his chest and curl into him.
He remained asleep as you situated yourself against him. You weren’t able to fall asleep again, but you didn’t mind. The peace that morning brought made all the sneaking around and rumors seem trivial.
My one and only, my lifeline
I woke up just in time
Now I wake up by your side
My hands shake, I can't explain this
Filming had wrapped a month ago and you and Cillian had both gone to your own separate homes. He had spent months with only phone calls to his kids to stay in contact with them and your own family had missed you.
The two of you had made sure to stay in contact, phone calls made to each other when he was able to sneak away from his kids for a moment and once night had fallen.
This pattern lasted for only a couple weeks longer before you were planning a trip to Ireland and waking up back in his arms.
It wasn’t the sun that woke you up this time, though. It was the feeling of Cillian’s lips trailing down your neck and across your collarbone.
“Cill,” you hummed with a smile coming across your face.
“Missed that sound,” he said, moving to hover over you as his kisses and nips at your skin trailed down your chest.
“Thought you heard it enough last night,” you joked. Your hands trailed to his hair as his lips attached to your nipple, causing a rush of pleasure to wash over you.
“Never getting enough of that,” he replied and his mouth attached to the other as soon as the words left his mouth.
Another moan left your mouth and your hips pushed against his, causing him to chuckle.
“Seems like you’re not getting enough either.” His lips began trailing down your stomach, one of his hands running up and down your thigh as he moved lower.
“Seems like you should do something about that,” you teased.
He offered no verbal response and instead continued his trail down your stomach and hips. Your legs spread apart as he positioned himself in between them and added new love bites to the ones from the night before.
“Cillian, please,” you moaned out, your hands still in his hair and pushing your hips towards him.
“Say it again, love,” he commanded. Both of his hands wrapped around each of your thighs and he looked up towards you. His usual bright blue eyes were dark with lust and the look of hunger he held was enough to make your body shiver in anticipation.
“Please, Cillian, I need it,” you begged.
Your head dropped back as his tongue ran across your folds and offered you some amount of relief. You were convinced his favorite place in the world was with his head buried between your legs. The way his tongue danced between your lips, taking in all of your taste and moaning at your unique flavor. The grip you had on his hair tightened when his tongue pushed into you and began exploring every centimeter of you before curling up to nudge against the spot inside you that made your legs shake.
Your legs tried to close around his head, but the grip his hands held on your thighs kept you from doing so. One of his arms wrapped around your thigh and his finger traced circles over your clit. Jolts of pleasure rushed through you and your moans grew louder. They were a constant praise of his name that only seemed to egg him on in his actions.
You felt your high rapidly approaching and you let out a needy whine,
“Cill, please, don’t stop,” you mewled, your hips jerking against his face. There had been plenty of times where he would sense your climax approaching and would pull away in order to tease you until you were begging, but luckily for you he skipped the teasing and continued on.
He pushed his face impossibly closer to you, his tongue still working inside of you and pushing upwards to cause your eyes to roll back in your head while his finger continued rubbing circles on your clit.
When your climax washed over you, his head stayed buried between your legs and drank up everything you gave him. It wasn’t until your moans had turned to overstimulated whimpering that he pulled away from you and rose up to capture your lips in a kiss.
You could still taste yourself on him when his tongue slid into your mouth. Both of your bodies were pressed against each other, his chest pushing against yours and his hips grinding against yours. His cock was pressing against you, teasing both you and him as you felt the head of it sliding between your folds.
“You’re teasing yourself as much as you’re teasing me,” you mumbled into the kiss, causing him to chuckle.
“You’re right, but I love hearing your little moans when you beg for it,” he replied, pulling away and making eye contact with you with an expectant look on his face.
“But don’t my moans sound better when you’re actually inside of me?” You questioned.
He seemed to agree with you since he didn’t offer any verbal response and instead moved away from you, grabbed your hips, and quickly flipped you over.
In the couple weeks since Oppenheimer had finished filming, he had started to put back on weight… and apparently muscle as the movement seemed to be easy for him.
You rose to your knees and kept your chest pressed to the bed, arching your back and pushing back towards him,
“Please, Cill, need you,” you moaned out in that pathetic tone you knew he loved.
“I know you do, kitten, just came and you’re already soaked again,” he taunted, lining his cock up with your entrance and pushing inside of you, “feel so fucking good wrapped around me.”
“Feel so full with you inside me,” you moaned out and tangled your hands into the sheets.
Cillian’s hands came to rest on your hips, giving you brief flashbacks of the first time you had slept together and he had left bruises on your hips, though the thought quickly left your mind when he began moving his hips. He gave you only a moment before his grip tightened, his hips picked up pace, and he was bringing your hips back to meet his thrusts.
He had been able to read your body in ways no one else could since the very first time the two of you had been together. After the first couple thrusts he had changed the angle of his hips to hit your g-spot and cause your moans to heighten in volume.
“That’s right, kitten, let it out. No more sneaking around and having to keep your voice down. Let me hear those pretty little moans,” he coaxed, keeping a steady rhythm with his thrusts and making sure to repeatedly push against that spot inside of you.
A mixture of his name and swear words fell from your lips like a prayer. You could feel your second orgasm of the morning already approaching and you clenched around him, trying to give him some kind of warning as the only thing you seemed to be capable of thinking of was his name.
One of Cillian’s hands moved from your hip to around your throat, pulling you up so your back was pressed against his chest. His other hand wrapped around your hips, his fingers circling your clit to edge you on while he continued his thrusts into you,
“Cum for me. Wanna hear you moan my name as you cum wrapped around my cock,” he commanded.
Your head dropped back onto his shoulder as you came, your moans and his mixing together as your orgasm only spurred him on to reach his. After a couple more thrusts his grip on you loosened and he slowed his movements down as the two of you rode out your highs.
There is an indentation in the shape of you
…
Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
Both of you laid back down on the bed, breathing heavily as you caught your breath.
His arm wrapped around you and pulled you to him, kissing you softly for a moment before pulling away.
“You’ve made quite the mark on me, love” Cillian said, looking at you with a small smile.
A smile of your own crossed your face and a blush spread across your cheeks,
“I thought you left the marks on me,” you replied in a teasing tone, causing a small bit of laughter to leave his lips.
“Had to make sure it was mutual,” he replied in the same tone, leaning in to kiss you again.
“It definitely is,” you said with a smile against his lips.