Chapter Text
The silence stretches in the air, the sun shining brightly above him, unbothered by the dull pain that throbs in his chest and that never seems to leave completely, as if something has been cut and pulled out of the very muscle of his heart, the scar tissue unable to close the hole, leaving only tender edges that bleed every year, when the date he's circled with black on his calendar approaches.
He rubs the spot on his chest, trying to soothe the pain, even though he knows it won't help. His fingers catch into the chain hanging from his neck and his eyes trail down to the object connected to it. The button looks the same it used to look on Satoru's uniform, protected from the outside world by a shell of resin, made into a pendant so it can rest safely against his chest, always close to to his heart. It had been a little request he had made, a few days after getting his best friend's ashes, after sleepless nights spent walking around the school, trying to connect the pieces together, to understand why.
He had cried until he felt like fainting, he had cursed his love's name only to apologize immediately after, he had turned Satoru's room upside down, looking for a letter or a message, something that could give him answers to the thousands of questions crawling in his brain. In the end, the last words had been the ones on his phone, short and simple, no explanation and no closing.
When a simple 'I love you' had been the last thing he had of Satoru, he had decided to hold onto it for dear life, and the second button of his uniform had seem like the only way to have the statement in a physical way. He had put his own button with Satoru's ashes, hoping wherever he was, he could feel his answer.
He's early, he always is, looking at the time on his phone shows him the others will be here in about an hour. Nanami will probably be the first to get here- punctual as always-, alongside Haibara, who's gotten an electric wheelchair and no longer needs anyone to push him around. Then Yaga will come, after making sure all students are aware of the cancelled classes, even though they all know the teenagers already know, the older students telling the younger about the yearly tradition in between whispers, trying not to be heard. After that Shoko will arrive, maybe with Utahime, maybe not, it all depends on how annoying Gakuganji is feeling today, and if he'll allow the Kyoto teacher to accompany them.
"Before everyone arrives, I wanted to talk to you, Satoru" he starts slowly. It's always difficult to begin talking, when he looks at the cold stone with Satoru's name engraved on it, knowing there's not an actual body below, only a box with a few of his favourite things, including polaroid photos, digimon cards, his school jacket, his phone and a few flowers they put in during the fake burial.
The ashes are on a small shrine in his apartment, with a few pictures and trinkets he couldn't bear to part from. He's already put incense there, as well as Satoru's favourite candy, some of them already discontinued and difficult to get a hand on.
"It's been ten years and I still don't know why you did what you did. At this point I don't think I ever will. You know? We still miss you, yeah, don't be too cocky, I know it's been a whole decade, but you can't blame us" He continues, the words getting easier as he allows himself to sit in front of the stone structure, not having to worry about anyone being around. He's in the middle of nowhere, only forest around, the only place they could put an empty grave in without anyone raising eyebrows.
"Megumi is doing fine, I know you wanted him to be happier than you were and he is. The Zen'in are still being annoying about it though, so you better be grateful. Tsumiki is doing alright, texts me every day to tell me about her day and to ask about Megumi. She goes shopping with Mimiko and Nanako every now and then, but that's not very different than last year is it?" He says, closing his eyes and allowing his shoulders to fall. He sighs before continuing. "Megumi has two new classmates, I think you would have liked them a lot, and the three of them look like they would have loved you too." He breathes through his nose, biting his lip until he's able to regulate his emotions once more. "They remind me of you. A lot. Nobara has your bratty attitude, Yuuji is just as hardheaded as you and Megumi looks like your spitting image sometimes. It's a little bit scary. They might be my favorite first class yet. Don't tell the second years though, I'm pretty sure Maki would try to beat me." He adds with a laugh and can almost imagine Satoru laughing too, eyes closed under his sunglasses as he teases him.
'Ah? Getou -sensei, having favourites? That's so unprofessional!'
Playing with the button in his chain, he opens his eyes and tries to imagine Satoru is in front of him, sitting on the stone and listening to him, blue eyes sparkling with joy, forever seventeen and filled with live. This is the way he likes to imagine him, not how he had found him, eyes dull and unfocused, pale and limp like a doll.
He had tried to imagine how Satoru would have look if he was still alive, would he be even taller? Would he grow his hair or cut it shorter? What kind of clothes would be use? Would he be a teacher too? At the end, he can't conjure a picture of a future that can't happen, so he is left with the same nostalgic image of a seventeen year old Satoru listening as he talks.
In a way, he can understand Yuuta, knows the boy doesn't see the monstrous curse that protects him like a rabid dog, but the little girl he had loved innocently with all of his heart. Both Yuuta and him have continued to grow, but are forever attached to the love they lost, Rika and Satoru frozen in time, gone too soon, forced to live only in their memories.
He swallows down the words that try to fight their way out of his throat, the three words that had been Satoru's last message to him and that he's never said out loud in these ten years. No. He will say the words when they meet again. Instead, he talks about his students and how they're doing, about Nanami being way too strict with the second years, about Shoko and how she's finally quitting smoking after so long, and about the higher ups and how much of a pain in the ass they can be.
"You know? Haibara just finished his psychology career, decided to become our first Jujutsu psychologist, how cool is that. Yeah, I knew last year, but I wanted it to be a surprise. You love surprises, don't you?" He finishes and the sound of steps and wheels tells him his time is done. "Well, Guess who's here" he whispers before getting up and greeting the two, putting the chain back under his uniform.
They all meet and talk, reminiscing about who Satoru used to be, about everything that's changed and everything that's stayed the same. They drink in memory of their friend, and leave a cherry apple soda that tastes way too sweet open by his grave. Every year they bring a new flavor he would have liked, always sugary sweet and in way too vibrant colors.
After some hours they all go back to their normal lives.
He enters his apartment and walks to the little shrine where Satoru's ashes are, his fingers trailing the decorative lines of the urn.
"Goodnight, Satoru" he whispers before going to sleep.
"Getou -sensei?" Comes a voice behind him, pulling him out of his train of thought. He laughs, turning around to face Yuuji. "Itadori, I'm no longer your teacher, if something we're colleagues now" he says and the pink haired man laughs nervously, no longer a kid.
"Right. Sorry, I guess it's difficult to stop seeing you as my teacher"
He nods. "I get it, at first it was really weird seeing Yaga as the principal and my boss, in my mind he was still my teacher. It'll only take you some time, don't worry" The former vessel of the King of Curses smiles relieved and he continues. "Is there something I can help you with?"
Itadori rubs the back of his neck. "I don't want to be noisy, but since I'll be teaching soon..." He stops, collecting his words. "I guess that date is approaching and, well, I've only heard rumors." He finally says, his voice low and insecure.
He smiles.
"I guess it's time to tell you about Satoru" he says, pulling his phone out of his uniform. "You know, when we were students here things were different. It was honestly a mess, I don't know how the higher ups thought it was a good idea. Most of them are dead now, and if you ask me, good riddance" he mumbles the last part and Yuuji opens his eyes wide. Back when he was sixteen and naive, he had lectured Satoru about respect, but after watching the consequences of those fools' actions, after loosing his other half to their system and almost loosing everyone around him, he had also lost all respect towards those dinosaurs. "In our last year of school... A lot of things happened, we lost some people and others were hurt. You could say Satoru was the drop that overflowed the glass. After that we fought to change some things."
Yuuji looks at him, his scarred face filling with compassion. "He's..."
He breathes deeply before speaking, but his voice still trembles. "I guess he couldn't take it anymore." He whispers. He doesn't have to elaborate, the pink haired man nods, whispering a heartfelt 'sorry'. "He would have liked you, I think. Sometimes you three reminded me of him way too much, Megumi was almost uncannily similar sometimes." He says, deciding to focus on the good things.
Unlocking his phone he goes to the gallery, looking for all the pictures of his one and only, the photos he took of his polaroids, the selfies they used to send each other while on missions, the ones of their birthdays. He gives the phone to Yuuji, laughing at a few of them and recalling memories. His former student asks questions, and he's happy to tell someone outside of their circle about who the boy in the pictures was before their world suffocated his light, leaving them in darkness.
A picture of the two of them kissing in the back as Shoko makes a face to the camera is the next and he jumps, taking his phone and laughing nervously. Yuuji smiles at him, eyes teasing but also kind. "Oh?"
He huffs before giving up. "Don't 'oh' me when you also make puppy eyes at Megumi." When the other starts stuttering, all red in the face, he laughs loudly. "Oh, don't tell me there's nothing. It's painfully obvious. Please, is this what Shoko felt? I owe her a dinner" he says under his breath, still laughing.
He looks into the distance, distractedly playing with the button under his shirt. After that, he asks Yuuji about the others. He listens carefully, smiling. Young kids that were able to be kids and now have grown into well rounded adults, scars mostly on their bodies, not that many on their minds. There's still lots of work to do, but he knows now he can leave the next steps to the future generations.
'Do you see this Satoru? You'd be happy'
He raises his head, looking around him, confused about where he is. An empty airport seems to stretch as far as he can see. Getting up, he notices his body feels more light, the pains of age suddenly lifted from him. Lowering his gaze, he's met with his school uniform, and when he raises his hand to his head, he finds his much shorter hair up in a bun.
"Suguru, you're finally here. I've been waiting so long" comes a whining voice behind him and he can swear his heart stops for a second.
Turning around he is met with beautiful crystal blue eyes and a wide grin.
"Suguru? Are you-" The voice of his friend, his love, his Satoru starts, but he interrupts it, running into the other and pulling him into his arms, burying his nose deep in the crook of his neck and breathing in the smell of soap, laundry detergent, perfume and ozone. He sobs. How had he forgotten about this? How much has he forgotten about? Two arms answer his hug, and he's surrounded by the very presence he's been missing for over thirty years.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" he sobs into the other's shoulder, tears spilling over like a faucet, his breathing erratic and his heart both rejuvenated and tender all over again. "I should have never go, I didn't know -"
Satoru's voice speaks again, this time softer. "It's alright. You're finally here. Aren't you?" He nods, hugging the white haired boy tighter, wanting to pull him so close he can actually feel his heartbeat beating with his own, so close they can never part again. "Suguru. Were you happy?"
He thinks about it.
"I was, but everytime I smiled, my heart hurt cause you weren't there" he whispers, pulling away enough so they can look at each other. Satoru's eyes are also wet with tears, white eyelashes heavy with teardrops that fall when he blinks. "Why?" He asks in a pained whisper, the question heavy on his tongue. He's been asking himself the same for years.
"I was afraid of the future that was to come. I knew I couldn't face the pain of what was coming." Satoru says, eyes sad before smiling at him. "But you all managed to change it. Didn't you?"
He blinks.
"You heard?" He says, a mix of emotions filling him from the inside, his heart about to burst.
Satoru nods and he can't stop himself when he pulls him by the waist and kisses him with the desperation of decades of longing. When they part to breathe, foreheads still touching, he allows the words to finally bloom into existence.
'I love you. I love you. I love you ' he says, eyes focused on the one person he's been missing most of his life.
The former Six Eyes laughs happily, eyes closing before he answers back, voice trembling with emotion. 'I love you too'
He's done what he could, now's his time to start over. Wherever the future brings them, they'll go together. The hole in his heart is full again, the person that's supposed to fit there finally home.
"Suguru, you have to tell me everything that's happened!" Satoru says excitedly. And he has missed his loud voice so much it hurts to hear it again, like the pain of a healing balm against a bruise.
"Of course, Satoru" he says, closing his eyes and allowing the other boy to guide him while chatting away, their intertwined hands swaying between them and their steps echoing in the bright place.
"Do you think he's okay?" Nobara says, her eye patch not allowing him to catch her expression. She's holding Maki's hand, the green haired woman not saying anything.
Megumi sighs as he looks at the urns they've now accommodated in the school, in a new wing that'll hold the remains of everyone that has belonged into their society and has nowhere else to go. No longer will they be nameless sacrifices, people that die outside the public eye only to be forgotten. This gives weight to their lives so that they are not wasted. It had been Haibara's idea and so far it seemed to work quite well.
Behind them Yuuta is talking to Nanami and Haibara while Shoko and Utahime open the windows, allowing the sunlight to enter the place. By their side, Panda is paying respect to his father, Yaga's remains the first they had put here.
It had taken some convincing for Getou to also put the ashes of Satoru Gojo in here, but at the end he had done it with the condition they would be together when his time came.
"I think so." Yuuji says, a sad smile on his face.
He agrees. Looking as they all light incense and pay their respects, thinking about the changes they've all done to their society, and the sadness hanging from his former teacher's frame, he thinks the man is finally okay. When the older generation starts talking between themselves, their voices friendly, filled with both grief and joy, he thinks they also agree.
They walk outside and the sun shines bright, the wind flowing softly through the air and moving the grass in a mesmerizing way. Something seems lighter today, as if a shadow has lifted once and for all.
Yeah, they're alright.