Work Text:
Some American shady Hydra base.
— Ve lab'z gonna be radioactive for at least free dayz. Five, if ve expiriment goez well. Don't bozer me until emergency. And even ven don't if you don wanna die. We clear?
— Yes, doctor Udin, don't worry about details. I'll take care of everything in your absence. The serum is one of our most valuable projects. And you as one of the brightest Hydra minds is for sure be able to recreate it!
— Yeah, yeah, vatever. Iz ve supplement all at place?
— Yes, doctor. And if you ever need anything else, just message us. We'll deliver everything you need to the pre-cabinet room.
— Good, good. I'll start ve mashine right now ven.
— We really appreciate your work, doctor! That's what I heard about it is amazing and...
— Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't waste my time.
— Oh, apologies. I just thought that maybe you'll also want to take a look at our current project of...
— Later.
— Oh, thank you, doctor! So I'll speak to the higher ups about...
— Just get. Out.
— Yes! Good luck, doctor Udin! Hail Hydra!
— Hail... Heil... — Doctor waited for some time in silence. — Thanks god he's gone. What an annoying prick. Well, I'll be gone from this fuck loving base soon enough, and I hope I'll never see the guy ever again in my life. God bless me and the plan. Escaping is the pain of my ass, but staying gonna be the biggest disaster for sure. Now I just need to make a little scene...
***
A phone call from some American shady Hydra base to some Russian shady Hydra base.
— Hello, sir. I'm sorry for delivering bad news but your son died during the experiment.
— Vot?!
— Doctor Udin got caught in a radioactive explosion. Due to the severe laboratory regulations we were too late to come at his help.
— Vot a blyadski circ you have! Are you fucking kidding me or vot?
— No, general Udin, sir, I'm sorry but...
— Listen, you, yobani degenerate! I don't have a son. And my doter, ve one on your fucking baze, is super human. She can't die from some little explosion. So tell me, americanets, kakogo huiya you doing?
— I'm sorry, sir, I...
— Check ve kameras. Do your fucking job and find her. I'll send you some real competent people. End of line.
— Hail Hydra!
General Udin hang up the phone in the middle of the phrase.
***
Somewhere in a random American cafe.
Doctor Eugene Udin, also known as Evgeniya Udina, has just finished the sixth book of Harry Potter series and was thoughtfully drinking her tea. It's been five days since her successful escape, and she was still figuring out how to live and what to do next.
Turned out that the escape wasn't the most difficult part of the plan. She planted an explosion to win her some time and then sneaked out at 6 pm with local "office" workers. Nothing too complicated. Oh, she also messed a little with her file and deleted her photos from the data base. But the whole gender thing? That was just fun. And is it even her fault that Russian names don't work that good with translating?
So Eva Bones — yes, she took a surname from a Harry Potter character, sue her for it! — was planning her next move: should she do a Star Wars marathon or a Doctor Who one? Internet couldn't really help with deciding what to choose first. She turned on her new favorite song again, still in the thoughts of Dumbledore death:
No, no need for words!
And no need for panic!
That is my last day
On Titanic!