Chapter Text
Is there anybody out there
I think I need a lifeline
I've been drifting through the darkness
Looking for the sunrise
Sometimes it feels like we're so far away
Trying to keep our heads above the waves
Are we gonna sink like Titanic
Our problems feel gigantic
Like falling apart into a cold cold ocean
Months later
She couldn't sleep.
She couldn't breathe, she was suffocating.
The darkness was creeping nearer, the silence felt too loud.
He wasn't there.
Marinette was rocking back and forth, her hands desperately twisting in her blanket. She needed…she needed to get out of here, she needed him!
Tears were running down her face. Shivers racked her frame as she fumbled for her miraculous phone, if only he would answer. She connected the call, at the same time she croaked out: “Spots on,” Tikki had been hovering around her, watching helplessly.
Clutching her phone like a lifeline, still only pieping, she made it out of the trapdoor. Breathing in the chilly night air like she was counting her last moments. Slowly and then faster and faster she jumped from building to building, running under the full moon. Still crying, a silent scream lodged in her lungs.
Finally, the call connected: “My lady?!” Chat was instantly on full alert, ready for the next near-death battle. Only for his lady’s desperate reply to send him more into a frenzy than any battle could.
“I…Chat…I can´t, I need you…please…,” she sobbed, he was barely able to make out the words.
“Where are you?” No further questions, just unrelenting love, and support.
Terror was sizing him up as he cried out “Claws out” and skidded over the rooftops. He had been fitfully sleeping, waking up every twenty minutes either in pure terror or with feeling completely numb, expecting for a weapon to come out of nowhere, expecting to see the horrifying sight of his lady dying with him helpless.
He tried to rid his head of the nightmares; his lady needed him right now. Needed him to be there for her, he wasn't important, not right now, never in comparison to his lady. Of course, his lady had a different opinion on this subject, but he stood firm, Ladybug was always his top priority.
A distant part of his mind, which wasn´t distracted with finding his way to Ladybug as fast as humanly possible, was relieved. Relieved to be by her side soon, relieved to not have to brave this night alone.
The Eiffel tower was his destination. There, he could already see a red spot, pacing up and down. She must have heard him fly through the air, because the minute his feet met the cold metal, she was throwing herself at him, shaking and sobbing.
“Chat!”
“Shh, love, I´m here. I'm with you. We are fine.” He kept repeating the reassurances, clutching her close, rubbing her hair. He buried his nose in her neck, breathing in her scent, it felt like he was taking his first breath since he parted from her hours ago after the last fight.
She was the only reason he was still fighting to live at all, without her every hour felt like pure torture. His depression had taken a worse turn in the last few years, not in her presence he was switching between feeling pure terror and feeling absolutely nothing, like he was a spectator and watching a TV show.
He didn´t know which was worse. The constant feeling of dread, not for his own life, but for hers, what if she died and he was not there to prevent it? What if the next akuma was too strong and he was not fast enough to protect his lady? What if she suddenly disappeared? The fear for her was choking him.
They shuffled a few steps to the side, where the beams met, making a small alcove hidden from sight and the elements. There they had hidden a waterproof bag with blankets, water, and emergency food.
Without losing touch, they made up their small nest, spreading one blanket and cuddling into the other one, huddling close together. This was almost routine by now, having done it so often in the last half year since things had grown worse.
Slowly Ladybugs tears dried on her face, she was still desperately clutching onto him, he was no different. “I´m sorry, I…you must have been sleeping.” He shook his head, caressing her face. “Fitfully at best, you know I can´t sleep without you near.” It was the truth for both of them, they barely got a good night’s rest if they were together, if they were on their own it was basically impossible to relax enough to even get an hour of uninterrupted sleep.
“And you know, I always want you to call me. I love you; I want to be there for you. Never mind the fact, that I am relieved you have freed me from the curse of a night without you.” She chuckled wetly. “What a pair we make.” She was an anxious mess, not able to shut down her mind, facing panic attacks on the daily, the only thing keeping her somewhat sane was her superhero partner, whose identity she didn´t even know.
They watched the stars for a bit, she was drawing random patterns on his arm, where he was holding her to his chest, as she was sitting on his lap.
“I can't do this any longer,” she whispered, as if she were confessing to murder. “We are going to sink if this goes on any longer. One of us will make a mistake that will kill us. Without sleep…”
Chat was pulling her impossibly tighter to his body. “I can't breathe without you.” His voice was ragged. She turned more in his arms, now facing him, straddling his lap. She cupped his face; his eyes were filled with agony. She caressed his cheeks with her thumb. “
I don´t care anymore, I need to know who you are. I don't care anymore if Master Fu tries to take my Miraculous,” her breath hitched, even as she was staring at him with pure determination. Chat was shaking, his arms compulsively tightening and releasing where they were placed on her hips. “My lady…,” he breathed out.
“He has no choice but to accept this, he can't replace us, a new Ladybug would die within minutes. The current battles leave no room for second chances.”
“Love,” he interrupted her, calming her rambling with one word. Taking a deep breath, she finished her thought. “I need you outside of the mask, and even if I lose Ladybug, even if I lose Tikki…,” tears started rolling down her cheeks again, “I can't wait any longer.” She gulped.
“Are you with me?” She was shaking.
His answering smile was near feral. “Fuck, my lady of course. I will always choose you first. I don't want to be another second without having you by my side every waking moment,” the thought seemed to give him pure energy, manic energy but still. He was nearly vibrating under her. She laughed.
“We, against the world my lady. Like it always was.” She nodded, giving herself a second to think, then she scrambled up, standing. Hastily, pulling him up with her, she shoved the blankets back into the bag. Wordless he helped.
“Come with me,” not waiting for a verbal replay, she jumped from the Eiffel tower, knowing he would follow her anywhere. She headed straight for her balcony. They needed privacy for this reveal, needed a space to stay, and now they could finally just curl up in her bed warm, protected from the elements.
He had a puzzled expression on his face as they landed. “What are you doing at Marinette’s?” Not waiting any longer, she grabbed his hands and whispered. “Spots off.” Without even waiting for the light to finish transforming her, he was already echoing her: “Claws in.”
Silence. Then pure relief as they watched the Miraculous reveal a friend and crush. Marinette let out a hysterical giggle, falling into Adrien. “You were so close.”
Meanwhile Adrien felt his world finally gain color. Here she was, he was not surprised, if anyone was Ladybug of course it was his everyday Ladybug, how ironic. He cupped his cheeks; how could he not have seen? Her eyes were running all over his face, comparing.
Her legs were shaking, she needed to sit down, but it was cold out tonight, she tugged him to the trap door, he let himself be moved. Finally, they were sitting on her bed, facing each other, once more in his lap.
“Let me kiss you?” Her answer was to lean closer, pressing her lips to his in a dance they had been repeating over and over since she had finally admitted to herself and then to him how much not platonic love had been growing inside her. She had brushed her crush for Adrien to the side, never really getting over it, but it had been overshadowed by her growing love and need for her hero partner, her partner who understood her like no one else, who was always there for her.
The kiss tasted like tears, like relief, like taking a breath after fighting for your life sinking into the unrelenting ocean. His hands, finally able to touch her skin to skin, without the gloves, were everywhere.
She had one hand in his silky hair, the other had somehow wandered underneath the sleepshirt he was wearing and was moving up and down his back. They parted for a breath. Adrien was fascinated with her bare skin, tracing her hips, her back, her shoulders, her hair.
“I love you, god my lady, my princess how I love you.”
“I love you as well my knight in leather get-up, my Adrien.”
They didn´t go further than kissing that night, the emotional turmoil finally forcing them to rest. Adrien was curled around his lady, her chest towards him, his nose was buried in her hair so he could constantly breath in her calming smell. The only smell able to make his always alarmed body relax. Meanwhile, she could feel him completely encapsulating her, surrounding her, keeping her safe. The only thing she could see was his chest, was as close as possible to his steady heartbeat, calming her constantly racing thoughts, painting increasingly horrifying worse case scenarios. Their legs were entangled, his arms pulling her close.
The rest of the night was calm. Finally, they could breathe. Finally, they could rest. The next day would bring more challenges, more death threats, would bring more fighting and surviving. But for now, for now they were safe in each other’s arms, now in the steady knowledge they would always have each other no matter if masked or not.
Losing what we wanted
Finding what we needed
If we learn to weather this storm
We'll be stronger than before
The next morning came too soon, but it also came with such a feeling of relief and new hope the Marinette felt completely overwhelmed as she opened her eyes with her partner curled tightly around her. She had actually opened her eyes because she had woken from a stray sunbeam and not because a nightmare had left her scrambling for a weapon. She couldn’t remember when that had last been the case. The best cure against anything, cuddling your kitty.
She turned her head slightly and simply watched him. Adrien, it was Adrien… How had she never seen? The magic of the miraculous was truly strong. He was beautiful. His blond hair shining gold in the morning light, it surrounded his head like a halo. The constant shadows underneath his eyes seemed lighter, she had noticed them as his school friend but had always taken them to be from his schedule as a model, but now she knew better.
She sighed content, she wanted to wake up like this for the rest of her days. Her movement must have woken him, because now Adrien was stirring, immediately fluttering his eyes open and scanning the area. She saw the exact moment his brain registered where he was and who he was with, as his eyes widened slightly, filling with such tender emotions it took her breath away.
A huge slightly manic grin stole on his face as he tightened his arms around her, pulling her even more flush to his chest, a rumbling purr coming from his chest. She giggled, elated.
“Morning, my princess,” he purred, his voice rough from sleep. It sent a shiver down her spine, making her face color faintly. “Morning, my prince.” He reluctantly put a bit of distance between them so he could caress her locks, eyes taking in his freshly awoken lady with the now unbound thirst to know everything about her. Now no hidden identities stood between them, nothing could separate them again.
He couldn't help but kiss her, her lips fitting so perfectly against his, as her eyes fluttered shut and she moaned quietly. The moan unleashed something feral inside him. He groaned in answer, sneaking his arm around her waist and under her top. She arched her back, pushing further into the hand, even as her own hands pushed underneath his ladybug sleepshirt feeling his muscles.
Tongue delving deeper into his lady, learning her feel and taste anew. Marinette responded eagerly, tangling with his tongue, not fighting for control but mischievously tapping and dancing around him. They parted both panting, hair wild and clothes disheveled.
Adrien, not ready to stop, moved to sit up against the pillows and promptly placed her in his lap, seeing her straddling him without the mask felt like he was dreaming. Marinette felt the same, as she carefully mapped his bare face with her small hands, caressing his cheeks, his chin, his eyebrows and following each gentle inspection with a tender kiss.
“I love you,” tears were brimming in her eyes as she spoke the words like a sacred vow, she could only return the sentiment with the same weight. “We will always be together from now; nothing will be able to tear us apart now.” His eyes fierce, teeth bared into a determined snarl. She had to swallow hard but could only agree just as fiercely.
Just as Adrien was tugging her close for another heated kiss, her alarm clock started ringing, shocking both of them to the core, bursting their bubble quite effectively. “Why can't everything else just disappear and leave us alone,” he whined, nuzzling her cheek defiantly and resolutely ignoring the ringing. “If only…,” she groaned.
“Well let's get ready for school, we already miss way too much of it to just stay in bed, even though it is so very tempting,” she eyed him longingly. But before Adrien could unpack his kitten-eyes, she had climbed from his lap and was moving over to her closet. Pouting he followed his princess, not wanting to lose contact, plastering himself to her back. “Oh, can I decide on your outfit,” he grinned excitedly. She shrugged, yawning, leaning back into him and just letting him do his thing.
Of course, the outfit she ended up wearing could as well have been a huge neon-sign stating, ‘I belong to Chat Noir’. Adrien went for black stockings, a short black skirt, a black top, paired with an emerald-green t-shirt on top decorated with a black paw print, complete with a small black collar necklace. She grinned at her silly boyfriend, but obediently changed, in the bathroom, too much temptation otherwise. Adrien had already been eyeing her hungrily, one second away from bouncing on her.
It took a few more, escalating, desperate kisses before he finally transformed and leapt away from her balcony. Luckily, they were early enough Adrien would not yet be missed if he hurried. With the distance between them increasing, the anxiety and depression grew as well. Marinette was already itching to transform and follow him seconds after he left her sight, she wrung her hands near painfully. Tikki having come out of her hiding spot with Plagg when Adrien transformed eyed her worried.
She forced herself to move, to stop staring into the distance where Chat had disappeared. “You will see him in half an hour in school,” Tikki tried to placate. The knowledge helped some, it helped to know she didn´t have to brave the entire day alone and wait for night or an akuma attack to see her partner. The thought sent her into a slight skip. Hastily, she packed her bag, jogging towards school. Using all her willpower to not let herself spiral into anxious overthinking.
She arrived at school nearly twenty minutes early, a stark difference to her normal five minutes late. Tiptoeing from one foot to the other, Marinette was tugging harshly on her pigtails as she stared intensely at the street, waiting for Adrien´s car. Alya was already tsking as she saw her, coming around the corner hand in hand with Nino. “Girl, what are you doing here to early?” Marinette forced herself to face her friends. “Jo.” “Woke up early.”
“Are you sure it doesn't have something to do with the way you are eying the street? Like prince charming is about to ride by?” Alya´s teasing held a slight edge. Since Lila had joined their class, she had more and more taken the side of the other girl, more and more buying into Marinette’s apparent jealousy and bullying. Buying into the fact, that Adrien was interested in Lila, and considered Marinette´s crush a growing obsession. Nino stood by watching the two girls.
“What?” She shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts. “Yes, I am waiting for Adrien,” she answered without pause. Earlier they had both agreed, trying to hide their relationship wouldn't work at all. They were way to obvious with their constant obsessive need for touch, with their protectiveness and possessiveness towards each other. No, it was easier to just play with open cards from the get-go. Neither of them could bare to keep a distance for even a moment longer.
Marinette twirled around when she heard a car door shut. She saw a glimpse of blond hair and was already moving, only for Alya to grip her arm and hold her back. “Girl, this needs to stop. Don´t brother Adrien,” her face a mask of disappointment and righteousness.
Marinette could only gape slightly. Her words felt like a stab of pain, fury rising in her just as quickly. She pushed both down, and was about to rip herself free, when Adrien interfered. He had obviously heard Alya, because he protectively pulled Mari into his chest, eyes narrowed, a near inaudible warning rumble coming from his chest. Mari relaxed the second she felt his arms around her, even as she kept her eyes on her friend, betrayed. “I would appreciate it if you didn´t try to keep my girlfriend away from me,” his green eyes flashing, even as a perfectly polite, but oh so fake and vicious, smile spread on his face. “She could never brother me,” he paused, at her gaping and continued: “You on the other hand…” Alya gasped, staggering back a few steps. Nino seemed to have turned into stone, the shock rendering him unmoving.
“What?! When… How?!,” Alya could only stammer, taken aback. Adrien completely ignored her, all his focus on the pig-tailed girl in his arms. Marinette had turned around in his arms, her pulse finally calming down again now that he was back in her reach. If she was gripping his shirt a bit too harshly, only the two of them knew. But Adrien was not much different, his grip on her was as tight and possessive as possible, without him simply picking her up and carrying her away altogether. He had one arm around her waist, the other had found its way to her cheek.
Their separation anxiety was really on another plane. Smiling, Mari bent up on her tiptoes and planted a quick kiss on his chin. If he were transformed as Chat right now, his tails would happily be whipping around him, his ears standing at attention. He whined, nuzzling her face with his, wanting more than just a small peck.
Alya and Nino could only gape, feeling like they had suddenly stepped into a twilight zone. “Am I hallucinating?,” she whispered, shaking. Nico finally shook himself out of his frozen state at the more than slightly hysterical tint to his girlfriend’s voice, but could only reassure her with: “No, I see it too…” This seemed to shake the reporter into action, as she rushed forward, about to grab at Marinette, but before she could so much as come close with her hand, Adrien had already captured her wrist in his hand. Eyes cold as stone, grip unrelenting. Mari pressed closer to him, prompting him to let Alya go. He had to force himself to remember who they were currently facing. Not a deadly akuma, only a teenage girl.
He had reacted on instinct, nobody and nothing touched his lady with harmful intentions while he was alive. That Alya had registered in his senses as a harmful entity…he was getting increasingly paranoid. But that didn´t stop him from keeping his arm around his lady’s waist, he would not relinquish the contact, no matter that they were in front of the school in broad daylight. As if hearing his resolution, Mari grinned up at him and shook her head fondly, before she turned towards her…friend? Could Alya still be counted among her friends?
Alya had shrunk back again at Adrien’s less than friendly intervention, but this hadn't stopped her from pulling out her phone and clicking record. “Tell me the deets?” she demanded, all but vibrating at the thought of such a scoop. “Alya, are you asking as my friend or a reporter?” She admonished; this was one more strike against their friendship. Alya was about to answer, the thoughtless retort already forming in her mouth, as Nino stopped her.
“Let's not do this out here, let's go inside. We only have ten minutes till school starts anyway.” Reluctantly, she agreed, leading the way inside. Both heroes were glad she took the lead, they both hated having other people walk behind them, ready to stab them in the back. There had been way too many surprises, near fatal attacks coming from behind, that they were extremely cautious about letting anyone too close to their vulnerable backs. Adrien didn´t let go of her as they were walking, Marinette certainly didn´t want him to either, content walking while pressed as close to him as she was able. She had snuck one hand underneath his shirt, just to feel a sliver of bare skin, feeling his pulse and warmth calmed her immensely.
In the classroom both automatically headed towards the back, after Lila had taken her seat, she had had to relocate there, and Adrien more than intended to stick close. Nino couldn't do much as his seat partner abandoned him. Alya followed eagerly, this time lucky for her, thinking better of recording but still expecting to be told everything. “So, tell me! How did this happen?” she gestured between the pair of them, as they were literally glued together, Marinette almost on Adrien´s lap, which he immediately rectified by pulling her completely on his lap.
The rest of the classroom watched in stunned silence. Several were rubbing their eyes, as if to make sure they were not seeing a mirage. “WHAT is going on here? Adrikins?! Why do you have Dupain-Cheng on your lap?!,” Chloe shrieked. Adrien only shrugged nonchalantly, his grin looking utterly smug. “I got really lucky, and this wonderful girl agreed to be my girlfriend.” And as if to make his claim absolute and discourage anyone else he added: “Of course I intend to make her my wife as soon as possible as well.”
Chloe had a near heart attack, Alya looked like her brain had shut down, the rest of the class was in similar unrest. Marinette ignored all that, as she cupped his cheek to look him deep in the eyes, seeing only honesty and deep devoted love shining back at her. She blushed slightly, tears welling up in her eyes, she hastily blinked back. Burying her face in his neck she murmured: “I expect a better proposal than that. But of course, I will marry you.” Adrien chuckled, flying on cloud nine as he pressed a kiss on the crown of her hair.
“What the fuck?! Did aliens abduct them?! Actors? Love potion?!,” Alya had lost all sense of reality. That was the moment Lila walked into the room, her wrist bandaged, ready to spin a convoluted sob story to get attention and compassion. But today certainly would not go her way, she gritted her teeth catching sight of the new couple. “What happened?” her tone was so sugary sweet; one could throw up.
“Dude, Marinette and Adrien are a couple,” Nino informed her, not able to avert his gaze from the sickening-sweet sight in the back row of the classroom. “Mind control drugs?” Alya was still rambling, throwing out possible reasons for their actions, not able to believe this as reality. Meanwhile, Chloe had somehow gotten over her shock at the sight of the liar and scrambled for some of her composure, as she spat out: “Dupain-Cheng is at least better than Rossi', with that she turned on her heel and stormed out of the classroom, probably to have a breakdown somewhere without any witnesses.
“What?” Lila´s voice resembled a high-pitched shriek more than anything. “Right! Lila! Adrien, didn´t you like Lila?” Alya coped in the only way she could, by turning on her reporter persona. “What?” this single word combined more resentment and disgust than anyone in the classroom had every witnessed from the blond model. As if the mere question was so revolting, he wanted to rip the thought right out of his head again. Lila had to fight for the smile to remain on her face, an ugly snarl wanting to appear instead.
“No, certainly not. Marinette has always been the only girl in my mind and there could never be anyone else either.” At the same time Marinette had simply started to stare Lila down, her gaze portraying exactly how she felt about the other girl. If looks could kill, Lila would be foaming out of her mouth. Marinette entertained a wonderful refreshing daydream about just that.
“What?” Now it was Alya who was again taken aback, frowning. “But Lila told me, you had asked her out and the only reason you hadn´t yet gone on a date was because you both were too busy and Marinette’s stalker tendencies.”
Adrien immediately tensed at the accusation towards his lady, fury boiling within him, a few Cataclysms sounded just right with the mood he was in. His voice was hard, barely contained. “I have never and will never ask Lila out. And one more negative word about my Mari and I will no longer consider us friends.”
Marinette gently rubbed circles on his chest, holding him back from traumatizing a classroom full of naive teenagers. “Wha…Adrien?” Nino pulled Alya away and back to her seat, giving a tiny nod towards Adrien. But if Nino thought he was off the hock on Adrien´s shit list, he was solely mistaken. Nino had simply stood by and watched, as everyone bullied Marinette, as Lila spouted lies and Alya accused their friend. Adrien was somewhat guilty of that as well, he should have done more, he had tried to stick to Marinette and stand up for her whenever he was in school, but his model schedule had kept him busy and away too often the last weeks. He planned to never let that happen again. He vowed to be there for his lady in and out of the mask.
Finally, the bell rang and Madame Bustier entered. Marinette reluctantly moved into her own seat, as Bustier lifted both eyebrows and pointed out: “This is a school Miss Dupain-Chen not your bedroom.” But this didn´t stop them from sitting as close to each other as possible, making contact from waist down to their legs.