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RIDDLES AND LIES
They got groped during strip search, and it scared the shit out of them. Call them naive, but they’d never much worried about jail, let alone Arkham, before getting caught. After almost a year of uninterrupted mayhem following their arrival in Gotham, Eddie had really thought they’d get away with it. The D.B Cooper of costumed crime. But instead of making history, they’d crash landed face-first into the metaphorical volcano.
Their cellmate-to-be looked none to pleased when the guards dragged them inside but Eddie breathed a sigh of relief nonetheless: The man was tall but incredibly scrawny, and rather bookish looking. No immediate danger. Just a regular lunatic. Ha. Eddie could feel their hands shaking with anxiety and buried them deep in the sleeves of their jumpsuit. No place for nerves, this was show-time.
“You’re probably wondering who I am”, they began to set up the riddle, their grand entrance into prison society. The man interrupted them immediately.
“You’re an overachiever, no college education, maybe not even a highschool diploma. Very intelligent, arrogant. Not psychotic but compulsive, untreated, undiagnosed. Your father was abusive, your mother either died or left, it doesn’t really matter. She never really loved you. Your crimes are a cry for attention and your hyperfixation on the batman betrays your fundamental need for parental validation. A small town boy who’ll be dead before thirty.”
Eddie crossed their arms defensively and said, because they were stupid like that and would always rather be right than safe:
“Not a boy, though. And you’re wrong. This is just the beginning.” The man chuckled. Eddie didn’t get the joke. They tried to make their voice harder, more condescending: “What are you supposed to be then? My shrink?” The man crooked his head.
“Something like that.” A pause. “Call me Jon.” Eddie narrowed their eyes, tried to remember all the headlines they’d studied before donning a costume of their own.
“Crane”, they finally said, almost certain. “You’re the Scarecrow.” That should frighten them, but they were already scared.
“My pleasure”, Crane said, his voice all southern drawl. Maybe this would be okay.
*
Dinner was bad. Eddie didn’t know where to sit and it was highschool all over again, except that this time, everyone was a bully and might just stab them with a plastic spoon. They stayed close to Jon and ate their food in silence.
Showers was worse. Just when they’d managed to blend out the stares, someone grabbed them by the hair and smashed their head against the cold, wet wall. Pain exploded and pulsed through their body. Someone was saying something, but Eddie"s ears were ringing and the only word they heard with any clarity was bitch. Their attacker squeezed Eddie"s jaw, then groped them roughly, and Eddie went feral. They tried to bite, to thrash, to claw, but the man was too strong. Eddie slipped on the wet tiles and would have fallen flat on their face, hadn"t they been locked mercilessly within the others grasp. They had never been this scared in their entire, miserable life. Then, suddenly, the man released them, gasping, gurgling, and Eddie finally staggered and fell. There was blood everywhere. Most of it wasn"t theirs. Their attacker lay dead in a wet puddle, his head a broken, splintered mess. Above them stood a fallen angel, angry, scowling, scarred all over. Two-Face. Eddie recognized him almost immediately, even though they didn"t yet understand what had just happened. Before they could exchange as much as a glance with him, the guards were swarming Two-Face, taking Eddie"s erstwhile savior into custody.
*
Jon fussed over them when they were back in their cell and it was almost comforting, despite the Scarecrow"s miserable bedside manor.
“You could have died”, Jon told them for the third time while trying to fix Eddie’s injuries with nothing but determination and a shredded sheet. “You can"t start a scene like that.”
“What was I supposed to do? He jumped me.” Eddie was still shaking. Jon gave them a look that was equal measures condescending and cruel.
“Next time, offer to suck his cock and hope for the best.” Eddie turned red, then very pale.
“The guards were right there!” Jon"s mouth twitched.
“Take it from me. The inmates, most of them are just pent up and stir-crazy. It"s the guards you should watch out for. They chose to be here. And one more thing, because I like you, and I"d rather have you here than some thug.”
“How gracious of you…” Eddie muttered between their teeth, but Crane continued:
“You are scared. Trust me, I’m the expert. But it is pointless to fear the inevitable. You will get hurt, you will be assaulted. What you need is a protector.” Eddie scoffed, heart beating so fast it might as well break a rib.
“And you"re volunteering?” Eddie snapped and Scarecrow laughed, really laughed, like Eddie was the funniest person he’d ever met.
*
That night, a doctor came to their cell. He stitched and rebandaged Eddie"s wounds, but his hands were wandering. Jon pretended to be asleep and Eddie pretended not to care. Finally, the doctor squeezed Eddie"s thigh.
“That was a close call today. Could have ruined your pretty little face.” Eddie wanted to scream or to cry but they were starting to learn. They took a shuddering breath and forced a smile.
“Thank you, doc.”
“Oh, you’re very welcome. Now, of course, you really needed stitches for that nasty cut”, he poked it with a begloved finger, “which sadly I had no clearance to give you.” Eddie"s brow furrowed.
“What?”
“They will surely accuse you of theft, if I don"t cover for you. Unless, of course-” Of course. Eddie exhaled. They forced their voice to be calm, collected.
“Is there something I can do for you, doc?”
“Maybe you could give me a - ah - goodnight kiss?” He glanced down at his erection, making his meaning very clear. Well, Eddie thought, that’s probably better than the alternative.
*
They cried and cried and cried once he was gone. There was the rustling of sheets, a dip in the mattress, and then Jon was sitting next to them, rubbing circles onto their back.
“If you"re here for sloppy seconds”, Eddie snapped, “I might just kill myself.”
“No you won"t”, Jon said earnestly. “And I would never. I promise.”
“I don"t need your pity”, Eddie hiccuped. Jon only smiled.
“No pity. Let"s call it the last scraps of my humanity. Now scoot over I"m going to give you a hug. Don"t tell anyone, they won"t believe you.”
*
The next day, Eddie sat down next to Two-Face at lunch, trying hard to look cool and collected.
“Hey”, Eddie said. “Thanks. For killing that guy.” Not ‘for saving me’, because despite everything, Eddie still had their pride. Two-Face gave them an unreadable look.
“You"re welcome. Can"t stand people like that.”
“Me neither”, Eddie said in an attempt at humor and it seemed to work, because Two-Face cracked a smile.
“You’re a smart kid”, he said and Eddie fell a little bit in love. “I"ve seen you on the news. You’ll go far, with the right people by your side.” It was very obviously an offer, but Eddie couldn"t tell if there was a catch.
“We might make a good team. I"m brilliant but I"m still green when it comes to crime” they said, playfully, despite the nervous stutter of their pulse. Two-Face smirked.
“I suppose I could teach you some tricks. Pretty little thing like you.” Eddie blushed fiercely.
“I’ll gladly work with you. But I’m no-one"s boy toy”, they said and Two-Face laughed.
“Emphasis on the boy there?” Dent teased and Eddie couldn"t help but be impressed.
“How did you-", Dent tapped them on the forehead, twice, with a big scarred finger.
“Don"t you want to know.” Yes, Eddie almost said, but they bit their tongue. They couldn"t let this man know just how mental they were. Yet. Two-Face continued smugly: “Everything has its price, kid. That"s how things are done around here. So if I’m sticking up for you, the least you can do is be a little nice to me.” Eddie"s mouth was too dry and they almost tripped over their words as they said:
“I can be very nice.” Dent brushed a thick thump over their cheek. Eddie shuddered. It felt electric, addicting. Terrifying.
“See, we understand each other. We’ll have a lot of fun, together.”
“So,” Eddie said with more confidence than they felt, “When do we break out?”
“Patience”, Dent said. “Not usually my strength either, but it"s going to pay off this time.” It didn"t take a genius to figure out that Dent already had a plan in motion and Eddie latched onto that glimmer of hope. They leaned forward, trying to look as charming as humanly possible.
“What can"t be kept until it is given?” Dent"s brows furrowed, irritated, then his good lip twitched into a smile.
“You want a promise? I’ll give you a promise, all right.” He smashed their lips together in a hungry, angry kiss, grabbing a handful of Eddie"s hair and pulling hard. Eddie gasped in pain, then moaned as Dent drew them closer. They were panting when Dent finally let them go, and their lip was bleeding. “If that"s you making a promise”, Eddie said weekly, “I don"t want to see you break one.”
“No”, Dent said, mirthlessly. “You don"t.” Everyone was looking at them. There was shame burning in Eddie"s cheeks, and the mad rush of power. They got called Two-Face’s bitch after that but no-one, not even the guards, tried to touch them again.
*
Eddie’s first stay in Arkham was barely a week long before Two-Face broke them both out. It all happened so quickly, Eddie almost fell over their own feet on their way to the getaway car. It was a short drive to the safe house, and a quiet one. Eddie"s heart was pounding so fast that they briefly wondered if they were having a panic attack but they tried not to think about that.
When they arrived at the safe house, Two-Face was in good spirits. He kissed Eddie and pushed them onto the bed without much ceremony. His hands found their way into and under Eddie"s prison jumpsuit, undid it quickly and left Eddie shivering in little more than their underwear. Eddie"s heartbeat echoed in their head and they tried to focus on the steady rhythm, tried to breathe and breathe and breathe. Then they were both fully naked and Harvey squeezed Eddie"s thigh possessively. A noise escaped them, half surprise and all panic, and Harvey looked at them funny. Great, just great. They could basically see Harvey put it together.
“You’re a virgin”, it was not a question. Eddie tried to look tough.
“Is that a problem?” Harvey shifted, then went for the coin, and Eddie shivered. They couldn"t see which side it landed on but they could guess when Harvey said,
“S’alright. I’ll fuck your thighs for now, how"s that?” Eddie looked relieved, then cautious.
“Is that a trick?” Harvey laughed. It was a nice sound, full and warm.
“Maybe”, he said, then: “Trust me.” He guided Eddie into a different position. “Keep ‘em nice and close for me, that"s it.” Eddie could hear him stroke his cock; it was a wet, obscene sound. When Harvey pushed between their thighs it felt cold and sticky. Harvey’s body was so close that it was almost suffocating them and when he started to thrust, Eddie almost forgot how to breathe altogether. Harvey"s cock dragged against their skin and it was so easy to imagine it pushing inside instead. The thought scared them, excited them, then scared them again, and they were mad at themselves for being so stupid, for getting themselves into a situation like this in the first place. Harvey fucked their thighs roughly, leaving bruises where he grabbed Eddie, their hips, their neck, and when he felt himself getting close he reached between Eddie"s legs to stroke them in rhythm with his thrusts. Eddie was only half hard but it didn"t take long for them to come all over Harvey"s hand. Next thing, their legs were sticky and warm with someone else"s cum and Harvey slumped down next to them. Eddie felt vulnerable. Their feet were cold. Bruises were scattered across their skin. This was Harvey being gentle, they reminded themselves. What would have happened if the coin had landed the other way up? A fifty-fifty chance. How violent was Harvey, really, when it came to it? Would he just beat Eddie or rape them and leave them for dead? They felt like crying but they knew that crying would make everything worse. So instead, they sat up and started collecting their clothes.
“You still owe me,” Harvey said, and Eddie shivered.
“Sure. Yeah.”
“Tomorrow night. Dinner at mine.” Eddie gave him a look.
“Dinner?” Harvey grabbed them by the hair and dragged them down for a kiss. It tasted like blood.
“Yeah. Something like that.”
“Okay”, they fought the urge to hug themself. “I should leave.” Harvey hummed.
“Do you have a place to go?”
“Why do you care?” Eddie snapped back, then bit their lip. Stupid, stupid. Play it cool. Harvey chuckled.
“Alright then. Don"t get yourself arrested. I"ll be in touch.” Eddie shot him a glare that was half arrogance, half annoyance, and a hundred percent fake.
*
They went to collect their spare keys from Selina who tried to invite them in for coffee but Eddie felt tired, and dirty and they really wanted a shower, so they declined and sneaked back into their abandoned studio apartment. The hot water didn"t work. They had a good cry, microwaved some popcorn and went to bed.
They had given Harvey their number and expected him to call the next day, but nothing happened. They waited, anxiously, for three more days before they got a text.
Dinner at mine. 8 P.M. Don"t be late.
A place, a time. Something Eddie could work with. It felt like an ultimatum. They tried to focus on what Jon had said. There was no need to fear the inevitable. It calmed them, oddly, this strange philosophy.
*
Harvey cooked, all fancy. A three course meal on gold-rimmed plates. He was a pitch perfect gentleman and Eddie tried their best to get drunk on dinner wine. Everything after deserts became a blur. Harvey noticed. He kissed Eddie"s knuckles and made them drink water. They ended up in the bedroom around 11pm. Eddie was crying. Harvey kissed the tears away, flipped a coin, and put Eddie to bed without as much as a fumble. He even slept on the couch.
Next morning, Eddie had a hell of a headache and eagerly accepted the aspirin Harvey handed them. They chucked it with a whole glass of water and let Harvey slip under the covers with them. The sunlight made them daring. They cuddled up close to Harvey, resting their head on his broad chest. This could be nice, they thought, if it weren"t all so terrible.
“Why didn"t you invite me over earlier?” Eddie asked, honestly curious. Harvey was quiet for a bit. Then:
“I"m not always a nice person, Eddie. Sometimes I wake up and all I want to do is break things. Suppose I wanted to play at being a nice guy a little longer and not just snap you in two first go I get.” Eddie smiled darkly.
“You"re lucky I owe you, you"re a walking red flag.” Harvey hummed in agreement and let the coin dance across his knuckles, like it"s easy.
“And you"re lucky I like you, I don"t let just anyone talk to me like that.” Ignoring him, Eddie asked:
“So… how does it work?” He gestured at the coin. “What kind of things do you have to flip it for?” Harvey"s eyes narrowed.
“Are you taking the piss?”
“No! No, I genuinely wondered like - I -” they fought down the embarrassment, then said it all in one breath: “I, I get compulsions. Like, like something bad will happen if I don"t do something and I"ll get this pain in my chest and the world stops to make sense till I do the thing. You know? I get it, I think, the coin. I just want to understand the rules.” Harvey considered it for a moment.
“Depends on the day.” He finally admitted. “Sometimes it"s every single decision and I can barely make breakfast without having a meltdown. Usually, it"s more like an urge, like I just know when the coin needs to be flipped. Just like I know that things need to come in twos. Does that make sense?”
“Oh, yes. I know what that"s like. When I was younger, I had this thing where if my left hand accidentally touched something, I also had to touch it with my right hand. Like, symmetry, or something. There was no way to not do it, I simply had to-” They paused abruptly, remembering how their father had beaten them for it. “I had almost forgotten about that”, they finished quietly, shoving their hands back under the blanket. Harvey looked at them, really looked at them and asked:
“How old are you, Eddie? And I don"t mean whatever lie it says on your file.” Eddie wanted to protest, but they already felt awfully childish, so instead they stuck with the truth.
“Twenty-three. Why?” Dent exhaled.
“Jesus. Nothing. Did you go to college?”
“No. Again: Why?”
“Makes me feel like a cradle robber, I guess.”
“Well, no-one"s forcing you to fuck me. We could just team-up.” Harvey chuckled and shook his head.
“You don"t get it. I want to fuck you. Half of me has a conscience, sure, but the other gets thrills knowing that I can just take you and you couldn"t do anything about it even if you’d wanted to.” Eddie exhaled.
“And they say I"m crazy.”
“You ain"t scared of me?”
“I"m scared all the time. It kind of blurs together if you let it breathe.” Harvey"s lips twitched.
“Let me guess: They had you shacked up with Crane.”
“Yeah. He"s not that bad.”
“Oh don"t let him fool you. He’ll dose you with fear toxin the first chance he"ll get and still call you friend when you meet again. Crane is absolutely off his rocker.” Eddie gave a little wave.
“Pot. Kettle.”
“I guess. Still, don"t act all hurt when he stabs you in the back. No honor among thieves” Eddie stretched and yawned.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Why didn"t you go to college?”
“Huh?”
“You said you didn"t go to college. Why?” Eddie smiled nervously.
“You’ll hate this.”
“Indulge me.”
“I"m a runaway. I dropped out of highschool.”
“Of course you fucking did. I should have known that it"s all an act.”
“Oh, only half of it. I really am the smartest person in the room, most of the time, and I"ve taught myself more than the average doctorate ever learns in traditional study. But yeah, five years ago, I was white trash in a trailer park.”
“Extraordinary”, Harvey breathed and kissed Eddie with teeth. When they parted, he added: “You’re really something, Eddie Nygma.”
“Well thank you, Mr. Dent, I am doing my best.”
“How about I fuck you right now, then. No ceremony, just us.” Eddie looked at him, surprised. Harvey smirked: “Scared yet?” Eddie licked their lips.
“Of you? No.”
“Lucky me. Well come on then, let"s flip a coin.”