Work Text:
“So, um… is it true you’re going on a date with James?” Nick asks quietly, breaking the silence between him and Charlie.
“Oh.” Charlie looks up from his book. “I mean, I haven’t actually said yes or anything yet and I don’t know if it’s an actual date date, but yeah. He asked me if I wanted to go to the cinema with him at the weekend.”
It’s Thursday afternoon and the boys are both lying on the floor in Charlie’s bedroom doing their homework after school. Nick sits up and rests his back against Charlie’s bed.
“Well, that kind of sounds like a date to me,” he replies, smiling softly.
“I guess so. Kind of. That’s why I’m not sure if I should say yes or not. I don’t really know if I like him like that, and I don’t want to lead him on or anything. It’s all Tao’s fault, he’s the one who kind of set it all up. Like, just because we’re the only two openly gay guys in school we must fancy each other or something.”
“So you don’t fancy him then?”
“He’s okay I guess. I don’t really know him but he seems really nice. I just… I don’t know… I mean it’s not like there’s any reason why I shouldn’t say yes is there?”
The question hangs heavily between them.
Because truth be told Charlie has been crushing on Nick ever since they were first sat together in form back in January and Tao has been relentless in his insistence that Charlie needs to get over his futile “straight boy crush”, hence orchestrating the whole date with James. Meanwhile, Charlie can’t help but think about all the little moments that keep happening between him and Nick and that maybe, just maybe, they might mean Nick likes him back.
“No, I guess there’s not,” Nick replies reluctantly.
Because truth be told Nick has been feeling increasingly confused about his feelings for Charlie over the last few months, ever since they first started hanging out together outside of school. The first time they did it had snowed and they made snow angels together in his garden and Charlie ended up wearing one of his hoodies. Then again, a couple of weeks later, Nick had gone round to watch a film at Charlie’s and found himself wondering what it would feel like to hold his hand. And there was that hug when they were saying goodbye. A hug that he didn’t want to end. Since then they had pretty much become inseparable; if Nick wasn’t round at Charlie’s then Charlie was round at Nick’s.
All of which had made Nick very confused. As a result there had been a lot of googling in recent weeks about different sexualities, which at times only served to make him even more confused. 62% homosexual. What the hell did that even mean?! But when he’d overheard Tao talking at school earlier about Charlie and James he’d realised he couldn’t ignore the feeling it had given him in the pit of his stomach any more.
“So what are you going to go and see? If you go, that is.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think we've gotten that far yet. I guess if I say yes then maybe we’ll have a look and see what’s on,” Charlie replies.
And with that they both settle back down to their respective homework.
“Char…” Nick starts after a little while.
“Yeah?” Charlie looks up to see Nick’s face is flushed and he’s fidgeting nervously, rubbing his hand at the back of his neck. He looks uncertain, almost scared, and his eyes dart down to his lap rather than looking Charlie in the eye.
“Please don’t go out with James,” he says eventually, his voice barely above a whisper.
Charlie stares at Nick, willing him to look up, but Nick’s gaze is fixed firmly on his lap. A loaded silence hangs between them again and Charlie is completely unsure how to reply, too wrapped up in feeling like his heart is beating at 100 miles per hour. Nick is almost curled up into himself now as if trying to appear as small as possible, so Charlie scooches up and moves over to sit next to him. He tentatively reaches out one hand towards Nick as his best friend finally lifts his head. Their fingers brush and it’s as if there are sparks crackling in the air around them and tiny colourful flowers and leaves flit and flutter above their heads.
“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t say yes?” Charlie asks softly as he gently strokes his thumb over Nick’s hand, his other reaching up to brush away a lone tear that has fallen on Nick’s cheek. “You know you can tell me if there is. You can tell me anything, Nick.”
There is quiet while Nick just sits there watching Charlie stroke his hand. He looks up and Charlie can see such uncertainty etched on his beautiful features, his forehead wrinkled in a frown as though he is struggling to find the right words. He goes to open his mouth, but nothing comes out so Charlie just waits, knowing Nick will tell him when he’s ready.
“I think I like you in a romantic way, not just a friend way, Char,” he breathes shakily. “I um, I’ve been researching about being bisexual and I… I think that might be me. But I… I’m not sure. I’ve just been so, so confused. But I think I might be bi, actually, and think I like you and I know I really don’t want you to go out with James.” He murmurs. His eyes dart across Charlie’s face like he's trying to read his thoughts before he wipes his eyes and then tentatively interlinks his fingers with Charlie’s.
“I like you too, Nick,” Charlie whispers. “I have done for ages.”
“You like me?”
“Wasn’t that obvious? I only joined the bloody rugby team so I could spend more time with you, you idiot!”
“Oh!” Nick lets out a surprised laugh. “Well, I was, er. I was going to ask you to come to Harry’s party with me next week and have been trying to work up the courage to tell you how I feel for a while now. But hearing about your date with James, it just made my stomach hurt and I knew I had to be brave and say something. I mean this is all so new and I’m still not sure I really understand it all, but I just know I’ve wanted to feel what it would be like to hold your hand, and what it would feel like to, you know… kiss you.”
“So how does it feel? Holding hands, I mean,” Charlie asks.
“Like my hands were always meant to hold yours,” Nick replies without even thinking.
Charlie’s breath hitches. “And do you still want to know what it would feel like to, um. What it would feel like to kiss me?”
“More than anything.”
Tentatively they lean towards each other, Nick closing his eyes just before Charlie does as their lips brush together for the first time. It’s like those sparks and flowers are there again, crackling and fluttering in the air around them. They break apart almost straight away and look at each other shyly before Nick finds the confidence to take hold of Charlie’s hand again and lean back towards him. Charlie puts his hand on Nick’s neck to pull him closer and they are kissing again. This time there is no hesitation, they know this is what they both want. They know how right this feels, how warm their lips are and how perfectly they fit against each other’s. When they finally break apart they are both panting slightly.
“You okay?” Charlie asks. “How did that feel?”
“Like my lips were always meant to kiss yours,” Nick replies, blushing furiously.
“Oh… good. Um. That’s good,” Charlie stammers as he tries to get his head around what’s just happened. “Me too. So should we maybe… try that again?”
“That’s a good suggestion,” Nick sighs happily as he leans towards Charlie, this time putting his hand on Charlie’s shoulder to bring him closer, both boys growing more sure of themselves each time their lips meet. Kissing each other feels like the most natural thing in the world. And somehow they already know it always will.
“So, about James…” Nick starts.
“I think we can safely say that I’m not going to be going on a date with him any time soon,” Charlie chuckles.
Nick’s eyes shine brightly and he smiles his trademark lopsided smile. “So, are you free on Sunday?”
Fin.