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Lonely Hearts Club

Summary:

Mori gave them an unempathetic smile, “Now, now... Dazai-kun,” he put his gloved hand on top of Dazai’s head, making his shoulders go tense, “Chuuya-kun,” he put his other hand on Chuuya’s shoulder in which he narrowed his eyes, “There is no reason why you two can’t enjoy a nice little chat for a few hours, right?”

Dazai and Chuuya are forced to spend time eating dinner in a fancy restaurant. Both of them hate this. Really. They hate each other, right?

Right?

Notes:

i can never write something from dazais pov so this is just chuuya being confused abt his feelings about dazai (as if i don't have an ongoing lengthy slow burn fic about that same topic)

happy reading!

Work Text:

Mori was Chuuya’s Boss for about a year. It was Chuuya’s job to serve him.

But that didn’t mean Chuuya was glad to humor Mori every time. This one was one of those times. Chuuya sighed as Mori gave mission details to him and Dazai at a fancy restaurant. He specifically asked for them to be here to keep an eye on their target.

It sucked.

Every second of it.

“And if any of you are to leave, this mission will count as a failure for both of you,” Mori explained, getting up from his seat, “Keep that in mind.”

“Mori-san–”

“Boss–”

Mori gave them an unempathetic smile, “Now, now... Dazai-kun,” he put his gloved hand on top of Dazai’s head, making his shoulders go tense, “Chuuya-kun,” he put his other hand on Chuuya’s shoulder in which he narrowed his eyes, “There is no reason why you two can’t enjoy a nice little chat for a few hours, right?”

None of the boys could say anything in return. Mori’s smile nearly grew wider. He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was taking pleasure in torturing his subordinates.

“Enjoy your meal,” he said and walked out of the restaurant as if he hadn’t just put Dazai and Chuuya on the hardest mission they ever had since their first day of partnership.

Chuuya gave Dazai a wry look, which he returned.

“We can do this on our own way,” Chuuya suggested, “It’s not like he’s gonna know we left.”

Dazai’s face turned sour, “Oh, he is going to know. He’ll make Hirotsu-san pick us up and I guarantee you he will be around even before we’re done.”

Chuuya grumbled, “So we have spies, now?”

“Seems like it.”

“And I have to waste my time with you? Here?” Chuuya’s voice was rising with every syllable.

“Don’t sound so upset– I am a very likable fellow. Everyone would want to go on a date with me.” Dazai teased.

“You’re gross,” Chuuya said. He opened the menu -singular- on the table.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Dazai asked, butting his head towards Chuuya and making him draw himself away.

“If we’re truly doing this mission as Boss said, might as well do it properly,” he muttered, “Plus, I’m hungry.”

Dazai didn’t say anything in return and sank into the nice, cushioned chair.

Chuuya flicked through the menu. It didn’t take long before he decided what to eat. He also noted that this place was rather extravagant. Couldn’t the Boss really think of a better way to do this?

Chuuya put the menu back and waited for Dazai to reach out, wondering what he was going to choose. They had been partners with Dazai for over a year, now but he still didn’t know what he liked to eat– other than crab, which seemed like the only thing he thrived. Chuuya then scolded himself; why did he even care, anyway?

When Dazai didn’t make any moves towards the menu, Chuuya urged him.

“Shitty Dazai, just pick something so we can move on.”

Dazai made a half-hearted twitch towards the menu but didn’t pick it up.

“I’m not hungry. I'll just wait for Chuuya to eat.”

“No way, idiot. We were together for the whole day. We ate the same things,” which was almost eight hours ago, “So we’ll both be eating.”

Dazai made a face but didn’t argue back.

They did not talk after that, save for ordering their food.

While waiting, they were served green tea.

“Chuuya is so grumpy...” Dazai muttered suddenly.

“No wonder. I'm stuck here, at a fucking sushi restaurant while we’re supposed to catch our guy,” he then took a sip from the tea. The taste was familiar to him. He had drunk that brand before.

Dazai shifted in his seat to get closer to Chuuya, “How about being a little optimistic? If Chuuya can sit still for a while and we complete this mission, Mori will get off our backs,” he also took a sip from his tea.

Chuuya just looked at him. Was this really Dazai’s way of trying to melt the ice?

Probably not. Chuuya was sure he was just an idiot.

“Yeah, let’s hope,” Chuuya said, “I have no idea why he thought this would be a good idea,” he also complained.

Dazai didn’t say anything for a while.

“I wonder what makes green tea green,” Dazai said abruptly.

“Ancient Japanese Secret,” Chuuya simply replied.

Dazai frowned, “No way! If you know something, say something,” he complained.

“No, this is the name of the brand they use.”

Dazai blinked.

“That’s a stupid name,” he decided.

Chuuya shrugged, “I thought the same when Ane-san made me that tea.”

A dangerous smile found its way to Dazai’s lips, “If Chuuya drank this, it is destined to be stupid. Everything makes sense, now,” he said, very much aware of how bad Chuuya wanted to smash his head to the wall.

Chuuya took a few more bites from his food before Dazai -without a warning- took some of Chuuya’s food, again.

“Fuck you,” Chuuya protested, “It’s impossible dealing with you. Did Boss actually hire me so I can be your leash or something?”

Dazai giggled, “If one of us was wearing a leash; it would be you, my dear dog for life–”

Chuuya stabbed the table with his knife. An indicator of what would happen if Dazai kept this babbling of his.

For his part, Dazai did not look impressed. However, he did get his hands out of reach for Chuuya and held his grip on his own cutlery.

“Come on... what was it that Mori-san said? Ah, yes, there is no way Chuuya and I shouldn’t be able to sit here and have a conversation.”

“I...guess,” Chuuya mumbled, “Though I can think of one reason,” he added after Dazai just grabbed some of Chuuya’s food without asking.

“Hm? What is it?” Dazai asked, seeming really interested in the reason.

“I don’t like you!” Chuuya said, a bit more angry than what was necessary.

Dazai’s hand stilled in the air for a second before continuing to help himself to Chuuya’s food.

“Chuuya is lucky,” he said after swallowing, “I don’t like you, too! Look, we have something in common!”

Chuuya frowned, “Normally, people would get upset and... I don’t know, shut up, maybe?”

“Chuuya wants me to shut up?” Dazai asked, his eyes wide.

For some reason, Chuuya couldn’t bring himself to repeat his previous request. Also, they told each other this type of stuff every damn time! Why was Dazai getting pressed about it, now?

“I... didn’t say it like that,” he huffed.

Dazai clasped his hands together, “Okay!”

They didn’t talk for a while, then. Again. They were prone to awkward silences today– unusual.

Chuuya noticed the look Dazai got. He always did that when he was thinking about something. Chuuya repressed a groan. He was getting tired of having to deal with Dazai’s strangest moods.

Fortunately for Chuuya, Dazai took the first step this time by revealing his thoughts.

“So... there is really nothing Chuuya likes about me?” he muttered, dragging the silverware through the plate and producing the most ear-itching sound ever.

This was the issue, now?

“I didn’t say that–” Chuuya cursed at himself mentally as soon as the words left his mouth for how pitiful he sounded and how those simple words, an unfinished sentence could mean that much to Dazai. He also hated how good he could read it on his face.

Because Dazai’s face, his body language, and his expression never betrayed his emotion. It was impossible to read him and understand his true intentions.

Yet, there was Chuuya, collecting every little thing about Dazai from just the surface.

“What do you like about me, then?” Dazai asked.

Dazai never felt shame. It was obvious.

“I like when you... don’t appear in my sight,” Chuuya said.

Dazai pouted, “That doesn’t count!” he said, “Try harder! I am a charming person, aren’t I? Even a slug's twisted mind can admire me.”

“Shut the fuck up...” Chuuya answered but started to think.

What did he like about Dazai?

He could just say he hated him like he always did, but it was a bit late for that, and even -seemingly- losing his interest in the conversation, Dazai was also waiting or even hoping for an answer.

It wouldn’t hurt anyone to choose a different statement. He would be stuck with Dazai for a while, and might as well help the time pass faster when they are involved in a conversation.

“Some people might say,” Chuuya started, “that from certain angles,” he played with his food for a while before continuing, “that you might look... pretty.”

Dazai’s face lightened up– just for a second.

And then it was back to normal.

But for the smallest second, his unmistakable joy was so obvious on his face that one look at him would be enough to tell his actual age.

What was Chuuya talking about? They were both mafia. They were far away from what was considered normal and that included acting like their age.

Not that he hated when Dazai dropped his mask around him and encouraged Chuuya to do the same, too.

“Now it’s your turn.”

“Sure,” Dazai replied and his next answer came quick enough, “It’s nice when Chuuya says what he is thinking.”

Chuuya frowned, “That’s stupid.”

“See? Like that!”

“Oh, take back all the things I said!” Chuuya yelled, “I hate you so fucking–”

“There’s our guy!” Dazai cut in.

Chuuya looked in the direction Dazai pointed out and tried to wrestle out of Dazai as he took him by the wrist and dragged him outside the restaurant.

 


 

They happened to put themselves in the middle of a gunfight, just by following a target.

“You know, I thought of one more thing to say,” Chuuya said as he got out of the way of bullets.

“Oh yeah?” Dazai asked while shooting some bullets from his gun and killing the attackers efficiently, “What might have Chibi come up with, hm?”

Chuuya pushed Dazai to the ground, protecting him from a surprise attack from behind, “You kick nice ass.”

The ultimate form of compliment Chuuya was able to present Dazai was this and Dazai was aware of that, too.

He grinned, “Well, I only kick nice butts and kill the rest so let me know once you’re free,” he said, watching Chuuya beat up the last of many men that suddenly appeared when they were following their single target.

“What the hell does that mean, asshole–!” a hit to throat, “You can’t just say–” a nice one to stomach, “Stuff–” a kick, “Like–” a final kick, “That!”

His opponent was down. Dazai clapped him with lacking enthusiasm from somewhere near Chuuya.

Chuuya stopped to catch his breath. Dazai was checking their surroundings for more unexpected attackers. Once he was sure it was clean, Chuuya followed Dazai to a better side of town– closer to the restaurant they left.

They walked without purpose for a while in silence. They had too much quiet between them that night and even though Chuuya mostly complained about Dazai’s incoherent yapping, he preferred the noise to this.

He opened his mouth to say something. He would like to address what Dazai had said to him– but that might cause Dazai to bring up what Chuuya had said to him so it wasn’t a good idea.

“Look, Chuuya!” Dazai pointed out to a car on the road, “I told you Mori-san would send Hirotsu-san to pick us up,” he said confidently.

Chuuya just looked at him.

“So? What do you want from me?” he deadpanned, “Do I send you a congratulation card or..?”

“No,” Dazai said. He stopped next to the car, “Aside from being pretty, I think you would like to add this to the list of why you are so fond of me.”

Chuuya blinked.

He couldn’t let that slide–

Fuck you and–”

Dazai slipped inside the car. Chuuya followed a moment later.

Dazai did not let Chuuya open that topic again. For this once, Chuuya let it slide. He wasn’t sure if he was eager to discuss it, either.

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