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Hook stared down at the little line on the test in his hand. Positive, just like it had been since he first looked at it a few minutes ago. Fuck.
Fuck.
He felt a little sick to the stomach, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t because he was, well, pregnant. It was because he knew already that he was keeping the baby even though this would cause a lot of problems with work to say the least. It was because he knew exactly who the other father was but he had no idea how he’d respond to the news.
The thing was, he and Danhausen weren’t dating. They never had been. It had always been more of a friends with benefits sort of thing. Hook was always fine with that and Danhausen seemed to be too. He never said anything else at least.
And friends with benefits was a situation where having a baby wasn’t really a thing, you know? Hook was having a hard time imagining continuing the way things were with Danhausen while also having a baby. Friends with benefits didn’t raise children together, which meant he’d be a single father.
One who might not even get to keep his baby daddy in the picture because, again, he had no idea what Danhausen would think about this. It certainly wasn’t something they’d talked about. It wasn’t even something Hook had really thought about. He figured eventually he’d probably have kids, but not like this, not now. Not without having his career on firmer ground and dating someone. Maybe even marrying them.
Now even those vague plans were out the window and he had to figure out how to regroup. Had to figure out where to go from here.
He put a hand on his stomach, still trim and flat for now, and tried really really hard to even out his breathing. Anxiety and fear was crawling up his spine like static, leaving his muscles tense. Hook realized that he was severely underprepared to deal with this by himself. But he wasn’t ready to talk to Danhausen about it either, and his friends were definitely as ill prepared as he was.
So there was really only one person he could go to.
Taz was frowning as soon as he opened the door to Hook’s knock. Out of everyone, he knew Hook best and so he knew when he was stopping by for something other than a workout buddy.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, shepherding Hook inside. He kept looking out into the street like there might be some physical problem he could fight. If only.
“It’s-”
Hook cut off, the words caught in his throat. His dad just looked at him, worry and care obvious on his face, but not saying anything. He’d always been good about waiting and letting Hook say what he needed to on his own schedule.
He took another deep breath, hands resting on his stomach without conscious thought. Taz’s eyes drifted down to them, making Hook realize they were there in the first place. Somehow seeing them there already was enough to give him a surge of strength. He could do this.
“I’m pregnant.”
Taz stared at him for a long moment, eyes wide and mouth slack. Hook was pretty sure he’d never been able to surprise his dad like this before. Not that he’d ever had anything nearly this surprising to say before.
“That’s…” Taz shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips. “You never like to do things the easy way, do you, kid?”
Hook shrugged his shoulders, smiling a little himself. It’s not like Taz was wrong about that. This was certainly not going to be easy.
“Have you told him yet?” Taz asked. Hook tilted his head, frowning, and Taz sighed. “Of course you haven’t. I know with you two it’s probably complicated, but you gotta tell Danhausen he’s gonna be a dad.”
Hook flinched, surprise tensing his body in a sudden surge. He hadn’t told his dad about him and Danhausen, hadn’t told anyone actually, and he was pretty sure Danhausen hadn’t either. But somehow his dad knew, because somehow his dad always knew.
Taz chuckled, able to read Hook well enough to know what was going through his head. “You two aren’t exactly subtle,” he said. “I may not know Danhausen as well as I know you, but I know you both well enough to tell there’s something going on there.” He paused, looking closely at Hook, intense in the way he got about something really important. “I know this probably isn’t how you wanted to tell me, but I’m happy if you’re happy. And I think he makes you happy.”
All the tension went out of Hook like a band being snapped, leaving him sagging in his seat. He was looking down at his hands in his lap, remembering how for so long he hadn’t let anyone, even the refs, raise his hand after a match. And then Danhausen came along with all his casual touches, raising his hand, and now it didn’t seem like such a big deal to let the refs do it.
Having Danhausen in his life had changed a lot of things, both for him personally and for his career. A lot of people thought they weren’t good changes, wanted to see him push away the weird demon and go in a different direction, but he knew they were wrong. Danhausen did make him happy.
He looked up to see Taz smiling at him, eyes knowing. “See, kid?” he asked, voice not quite so rough as usual. “You’ll figure it out.”
Hook nodded, feeling far lighter than before. That little line from the morning didn’t weigh on him like it had when he was alone in his bathroom. He still wasn’t sure he was ready to tell Danhausen, but now at least he was pretty sure he would.
Baby steps.
⁂
Hook wouldn’t say that he’d been avoiding Danhausen but… well, he’d kind of been avoiding Danhausen. It wasn’t that he’d meant to per say, it was just easier considering there was something he really needed to tell Danhausen and he didn’t know how Danhausen would react. He’d never liked being surprised, and this whole situation was a series of life changing surprises.
Of course he couldn’t just avoid Danhausen forever even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. He’d just been waiting for the right time and place. But it seemed like that decision had been taken out of his hands and Danhausen himself had decided that the right time and place was right here and right now, backstage before Dynamite.
“Hook has been avoiding Danhausen,” Danhausen said, crossing his arms over his chest. His face was strangely blank, none of the thoughts and feelings he usually let flit through it freely.
Hook shrugged, uncomfortable. It wasn’t like he could deny it. Even other people had started to notice in the past couple of weeks that Hook hadn’t been hanging around Danhausen like usual. But he also couldn’t just come out and say why he’d been doing it either. Despite the time to think, he hadn’t come up with a good way to say what was going on because the fear of fucking things over was just too great.
Doing this wrong could mean losing Danhausen forever, and he didn’t want to do that. He was pretty sure it would break his heart.
“Danhausen thinks it is obvious that Hook has gotten tired of him and just does not want to say so,” Danhausen said, and there was something so sad in his voice that it made Hook’s chest ache. “Danhausen also understands that he can be too much, so Hook must have realized that as well. So Danhausen will leave now and Hook will be free from being bothered by him.”
He turned to go, but Hook was already moving before he even realized what he was doing. He grabbed Danhausen’s arm, pulling the demon around to face him again. The look on Danhausen’s face was heartbreak pure and simple, and that Hook could just not stand to let remain.
He took a deep breath, wishing he’d picked a better way to do this. But he had to do it now or he risked losing Danhausen, and that just was not happening.
“I’m pregnant,” he said, hoping his voice was quiet enough that no one backstage could hear even if their attention had been caught by Danhausen’s proclamation. “We’re having a baby.”
Hook wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Danhausen truly silent or still before. But now he was like a statue, wide eyed, barely breathing. If it hadn’t been such a serious situation, Hook thought he probably would have laughed at how strange it was to see the demon like this.
Just as he was starting to get worried that he’d actually broken Danhausen somehow, he moved. Or perhaps slumped was a more apt description. It was like he was a puppet with his strings cut, staying up himself but just barely. He looked… sad. Heartbroken, even, and Hook wasn’t quite sure why. Or at least he hoped it was anything but what he thought.
“How long has Hook known?” Danhausen asked, voice softer than Hook had ever heard.
“Uh, a couple of weeks,” Hook replied. He did feel bad about how long it had been, but he’d needed some time to think things through. Come to terms with it.
“Oh.” If anything, that answer made Danhausen sink further, curling in on himself. “Because Hook does not want to be tag partners with Danhausen anymore? Or… or other kinds of partners?”
“No!” Hook replied before he could even think about it. Not that he would take it back, because it was true. He didn’t want to stop being any sort of partners with Danhausen.
Danhausen tilted his head, eyes still sad but with a spark of hope behind them. “Hook doesn’t not want to be partners?”
Hook snorted a laugh, relieved when Danhausen smiled a little in return. The tension that had filled the room since his badly thought through confession felt like it was starting to thaw. Hopefully things would continue in that direction if Hook could just get this conversation right.
“Hook- I do want to be partners,” he said, fighting the discomfort that was creeping up his spine.
He never liked to talk about his feelings, and there was so much riding on doing so that it felt almost impossibly hard. But he’d do it anyway. He’d never backed down for a challenge before, and he wasn’t planning to now. Plus, Danhausen deserved more than Hook’s silence. Their baby deserved more.
“I’m gonna be out for a while with, you know,” he said, gesturing at his stomach. Danhausen’s eyes darted down, wide like he was surprised somehow. About the baby? About not being able to see a difference yet? Hook wasn’t sure. “But when I come back, I want to tag with you again. I want us to be tag partners.”
Hook took a deep breath, steeling himself for the real hard part. “And… I’d like us to be another kind of partners too, if you want,” he continued. Anxiety was making his skin itch, but he ruthlessly pushed it down. “I know we never really talked about what we are and this is pretty weird, so I get it if you don’t, but-”
“Danhausen is already pretty weird,” Danhausen interrupted, a somewhat manic grin on his face.
He wasn’t wrong, of course, but Hook wasn’t sure that was an answer to the question he hadn’t been able to quite get out. He tilted his head, trying to figure out where Danhausen was going with that. Usually it was pretty easy for him to figure out Danhausen, but not today.
Danhausen seemed to understand, nodding like Hook had actually said something. “Ah yes, what Danhausen means is that he is already weird so Danhausen does not mind more weird,” he said. “Especially not if it is with Hook.”
Relief punched through Hook’s body and he sagged as the tension left in one swift moment. “Yeah?” he asked. “You wanna do this with me? Have a baby?”
“Yes, yes, yes!”
Danhausen closed the distance between them almost faster than Hook thought should be possible, but right now he absolutely didn’t care about that. All he cared about was the gentle way Danhausen cupped his cheek and the even more gentle way he brought their mouths together.
It was barely a kiss, so soft and chaste that it was basically just their lips brushing against each other, but Hook was pretty sure it was the best kiss he could ever imagine. Because it meant Danhausen was here with him, willing to do this with him. Together.