Chapter Text
“I gotta tell ya, I don’t really wanna do this,” Declan said.
No sooner had he gotten back to his apartment than he had taken a bottle of his favorite drink mix out of his fridge and poured himself a glass as he fell into his favorite chair. When Liane came over to ask what was wrong, he grumbled and showed her his phone.
“Then don’t go,” she said. “Nobody’s forcing you to.”
“If I don’t play ball today, my Dad will make me pay for it tomorrow.”
“Well, I think you should go. Either nothing happens and it doesn’t hurt, or some good comes out of it.”
Oh it’ll hurt alright, Declan thought. He gulped down the glass full of alcohol - a mix of apple rum and pink lemonade that tasted sweet. “You’ve never been to family therapy.”
“I went myself a couple of years back during college. It helped me manage my anxiety.”
“I don’t have anxiety.”
“No, you’re just the Incredible Hulk.”
He knew what she was referring to. “I was wasted, it happens.”
“You drink on the regular, Declan!”
“So do you!”
Liane rubbed his shoulder. “I’m not saying you have a drinking problem, Declan, I’m saying you have an anger problem.”
Declan shrugged. “And the sky’s blue. It’s never been a problem.”
“We both know that’s bullshit.”
“I don’t care if I turn into a nuclear bomb, I’m not spilling my guts to a shrink or to my family.”
“Declan, you trust me, right?”
“We share more than just a bed, Lia.”
“Exactly. You would never hurt me, and I would never hurt you. So, tell me how therapy would be so bad.”
Now, he stopped to think about it for a moment. What if the therapy was real, as unlikely as it sounds?
It was his Dad, so he’d have to be prepared for something, but still… a chance to talk, to start healing…. it was something he could not pass up. And if it turned out to be fake, well…. it wouldn’t be any different than any normal event he had attended with his family before.
Declan rubbed his forehead. “I get your point.”
“If this is real…”
Declan scoffed. “It’s not. It’s all a game.”
“If it is….” Liane repeated slowly. “Maybe this therapy will be good for you. For your family.”
“Okay. But if we do this-” Declan poured himself another glass and brought it to his lips “-I am getting smashed before the big event.”
“That’s fine. Also, I’m coming with you.”
“Sure, you can come. Just don’t expect me to play pretend.”
“Thanks, but I wasn’t asking for your permission,” Liane said. “And I don’t need a theater performance from you.”
He was about to retort, but then he remembered another subject he needed to bring up. “Also, I forgot to say, Tom’s bachelor party is also in a few days-”
“-Which you’re not attending.” Liane leveled him with a challenging stare. “I know what happens at men’s bachelor parties.”
Declan shrugged. “Bachelor parties are fuck parties, I didn’t wanna go anyway. They were probably expecting me to be absent.”
“You don’t like Tom, do you?”
“Honestly? I pity him. I mean, how often are the husbands’ the ones getting fucked? Between him and F. Scott Fitzgerald, I don’t know who has it worse.”
“Be nice.” She smacked him on the shoulder, earning a wince from him. “That’s your sister.”
“Well sorry, but your sister’s pleasant,” he muttered, “not all of us get to share blood with Florence Nightingale reborn.”
“You really should try to appreciate your sister more.”
“I did,” Declan said bitterly. “But you know I was a bit of a late addition.”
“People change. You were a stranger then, but now you’ve known your family for years now.”
“Known is an exaggeration. We see eachother on holidays. Most of them are insufferable.”
“I’m not saying you should forgive and forget, and I’m not trying to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do, but I’ve seen how your Dad has treated you all. You’re all hurt. You might never end up liking each other, but wouldn’t it be nice if you could at least not be constantly at each other's throats?”
“It’s a nice dream.” Although he would never admit it. He’d never hold out hope that they’d gather around in circles and sing Kumbaya, but not having a constant headache would be nice. “I don't know if it will ever happen, but…. I’ll see what I can do to try and close the gap. And as for the therapy…. we’ll see.”
Can I do that? Can I manage to build bridges? Will it even be possible with Dad’s presence and everything that’s happened? Declan wondered.
He honestly didn’t know how real sibling relationships functioned. Connor was more like a father than a sibling, and the closest things he had ever had to that kind of relationship were Amir and Camille.
“I don’t really know how to do the whole… love thing,” Declan said.
Liane leaned into his face. “Is that you saying you don’t love me?”
“No,” he said quickly, because he meant it, “I just don’t really know… how to do it well. Y’know… affection, tenderness…. I mean, kids are one thing, animals, it’s easy with them… but adults? Adults are so… shitty.”
“You’re not going to be hugging it out immediately Declan, it takes time. You might never hug it out, and that’s okay. It’s going to be hard, especially with your dad in the picture, and you’re going to hate it. But you never know what will come out of it until you try.”
He gulped down a giant swig from his bottle. Fuck it, I’ll try. Maybe Lia’s right.
Any further conversation was interrupted by the buzzing of Declan’s phone.
“Michael’s here,” he said quickly, “let’s go.”
Since it wasn’t a public event, Declan decided to switch up the outfit: a red Hawaiian shirt with white and gold floral patterns beneath a cream-colored sports coat and matching cream pants, topped off with a brown belt and brown slip-ons.
If it were respectable, he’d dress like this every day. Usually, Declan hated attention, but for some reason a part of him always loved wearing outfits with multiple different colors when he dressed. Maybe a lifetime of being surrounded by men wearing the same 3 suits with the same 5 ties made him want to switch it up.
They stepped out of the apartment and down the flights of stairs and out on the street there was Michael’s parked car. The thing Declan appreciated the most about Michael is that he had only ever been late once, and that was due to traffic out of his control.
“I think you’ll like Santa Fe,” Declan told her, after they had both gotten into their seats. “It’s really nice.”
And off the wheels went.
It was nearly two thousand miles from where they lived in Manhattan to Connor’s ranch in Santa Fe. They had left around 8:30 AM on a Tuesday and hadn’t arrived until tomorrow evening, when the sun was just beginning to turn from a bright blinding yellow to a dark and gleaming orange in the sky. A cool breeze had settled over the area, and he could feel it rub against his skin.
The ranch was old and full of history. It was made of beige sun-dried bricks made of clay, sand and straw that he knew were meant to be insulating to adjust to the climate. Leftward, there was a beige brick chapel with two identical clerestories where a catholic man might have gone to find solace and pray. Both buildings had dry, shingled roofs.
Yet it was clearly not one of the normal, small ranches that belonged to poor cattle ranchers in the old west. Connor had happily rambled to him the first time he came here that it was nearly 11,000 square feet of property. Upon the brick path leading to the front door, a working fountain dual-hosed made of cement stood, spewing water. Gardens of flowers and shrubs lie under the stainless, gleaming windows. There was even a pool.
As they parked, he could see it now: Black SUVs parked along the front of the property; Karolina and Hugo were here, and there were camera crews with tripods running around, and PR agents carrying black cases.
“I was right,” Declan said. “It was just a PR stunt.”
“So make it real.”
He turned to her. “How?”
Liane shrugged.
He popped open his car door, got out and stretched his back. “They’re probably inside, let’s go.” And get me out of this fucking car, he thought.
The inside of the home was warm - a fireplace. He could hear the voices of the people who had already arrived beforehand.
“Declan!” Connor said. “Welcome back to the real American frontier.”
“I’m feeling like Jesse James already,” he said.
The two embraced each other in a hug. Shiv appeared, too; she approached from behind Connor with a serious look on her face.
“Hey, Declan,” Shiv said. “Can I talk to you? Alone?”
”Sure.”
In order to get some privacy, the two exited the front door and went around the side of the building, as if they were home invaders staking it out.
“Uh…..Listen, I just wanted to say that bringing up your Mom the way I did, it was…. It was not cool.”
“Oh.” He hadn’t expected her to apologize, it made him feel weird. “Ah, well… I accept your apology.” He wanted to switch to another subject matter just to get it out of the way now, while they were all in decent moods. “I want to talk about us. You, me, Connor, Kendall, Roman, all of us.”
“Us?” Shiv cocked her head. “There is no us.”
“Okay, well there is an us,” Declan insisted. “We’re siblings.”
“Uh-huh.”
Don’t fucking ‘uh-huh’ me, he wanted to say. “Did I do something, Shiv? Is this about…” he lowered his voice, “...Marcia?”
She stared, saying nothing.
“It wasn’t personal. I wouldn’t give out anyone’s private information to anyone, I just don’t do that. I mean, would you want me to tell Dad if I found out something about you?”
“No, you’re right,” Shiv said. “It’s just… where is this coming from?”
“It’s not coming from anywhere. This is something I’ve been thinking about.” It was a half-truth.
“You’re taking this family therapy thing seriously.”
“I’m just trying to extend an olive branch.”
“Okay,” Shiv said. “And if I’m fine with where things are?”
“Well then, uh, don’t be vague and just say it. I’m trying to give you something I rarely give people, Shiv-” he pinched his thumb and pointer finger together “-a tiny bit of trust.”
“Well that’s a mistake.”
“Maybe,” Declan said. “But I’m sick of the tension. Dad’s enough of a headache without us trying to kill each other. All I’m saying is…. as far as support goes, you can count on me from now on.”
“What if I need you to dig up blackmail?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Declan sighed. “Look, you’re looking at this like a singular goal, when it’s more like a project. I’m trying to plant a seed, not grow a garden.”
“Yeah, until someone makes a snide comment and you blow up like Chernobyl. How do I know you won’t change your mind?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted.” Look, I don’t expect you to be Mother Teresa, and I’m sure as hell not a teddy bear. I’m just trying to be a little more agreeable. And to also ask that you do the same…. please.”
He felt caught off-guard by the sincerity in his own voice. When was the last time I genuinely said ‘please’? Declan wondered.
Shiv studied him for a careful moment. “If you had known about the vote, and you were in on it, would you have told me?”
“Yes,” he lied.
A pause.
“Alright then.”
He let out a breath of relief. “We’re good?”
“Yeah,” Shiv said. “We’re good.”
He gave her a half-hug that felt less awkward than normal. “Thanks, Shiv.”
A step in the right direction, Declan thought. I just hope we keep going the right way and nothing fucks it up.
They rejoined the party. He went out to join Willa and Connor, accepting every drink he could get from the attendants who carried their trays.
There was an update from Willa regarding her play: the script was done, and the next steps were to select a venue, find actors and other talent, and find people to make the music. Declan offered Liane, who accepted the role of making music at a reduced price than most musicians would have. He had heard his girlfriend play all sorts of instruments - his favorite was when she played the piano.
“You should hear her,” he gushed to Connor and Willa. “She never misses a note. It’s like a magic massage tickling your ears, she’s great.”
“You talk about her a lot,” Connor noted with a smile. “I’m not judging, I’ve just never seen this from you before.”
“That’s ‘cuz I won the lottery.”
Out through the hallway stepped a lanky man with swept hair and a vest. He smiled - a pleasant face framed with glasses and a full goatee.
“Morning,” Parfit greeted. “Okay, let’s do this.”
Declan could already predict how the next day would go: the Roys would all get together for a little while and say a whole lot of nothing, and maybe there might be a few smiles. The photos would snap, the cameras would stop recording, and after that it would be business as usual.
“The therapy?” Logan hastily rose from his chair. “This way for the therapy.”
Tom, Marcia, Willa and Liane were left behind. Like ducklings, the Roy siblings followed their father, who would seem almost completely recovered based solely off of the speed of his pace, and Parfit to the chapel, separated from the rest of the ranch by a sandstone wall and a black, iron gate.
Logan waved an arm to usher them along. “Roll up, roll up, for the festival of grievances.” There was nothing frail about his body, nothing weak about his age.
The chapel was smaller than he had anticipated. A cozy room full of old weapons and antiques hung along the walls, bookshelves lined with hardcovers. In the center, two sofas formed around each other. The Roys all fell into position one by one.
“Okay? Great.” Parfit settled into his seat between them. “So welcome, welcome. You know, I like to begin these things with a little prayer. They fuck you up, your mom and dad. They do not mean to, but they do. They fill you up with faults they had and add some extra just for you.”
A rhyme, Declan thought. Are you serious?
“Now, I always think that’s an interesting way to start these things, but what I’d like to know is how you feel you would like to start this. So…” Parfit looked around at each of them, “...who’s going to tell us why we are here today?”
Declan found himself exchanging glances with his siblings. They all seemed to come to a single, unanimous thought: I’m not going first.
“Come on,” Logan said. “Does no one want to take a pop at the champ?”
The silence that followed made his thoughts seem louder. What would you do if we really, honestly did? Declan wondered. The words echoed flat and hollow in his own mind.
Connor shifted in his seat. “Can I just say…” he pointed a finger, “I never touched Roman inappropriately. If he says I did, I didn’t.”
Shiv cleared her throat. “Glad to clear that up.”
“He was gonna make a horrible joke,” Connor said. “So I’m pre-empting.”
“Okay, okay, I think the best way to start this-”
Logan cut the therapist off with a raise of his hand, saying, “I’ll start if you like.”
Parfit blinked. “Yeah, please.”
“Um…. everything I’ve done in my life, I’ve done for my children. I know I’ve made mistakes, but, um, but I’ve always tried to do the best by them….. because….. they mean everything to me.”
The silence was loud, now; an eerie blanket that smothered itself over the room. Every child of Logan’s stared at him in disbelief.
A load of shit, Declan thought. Not even gonna bother to change up the line you’ve said a million times? This is gonna go nowhere, he thought. He was bored - he felt his focus begin to drift away like a raft on a wave.
“Okay,” Parafit said to Logan. “Okay, that was great.”
“Thank you.”
“Well,” Connor said, “that’s nice.”
As Logan stared at all of them expectantly, everyone quickly followed Connor’s lead.
“It is nice,” Roman chimed.
“Yeah, sure.” Shiv hastily said. “Agreed.”
“It’s great,” Declan muttered. If my last visit was anything, Connor’s only got small meals, he thought. I’m starving.
“So, what do we feel about what we just heard here?” Parafit asked.
“I mean, I hear it.” Roman rubbed his head. Ever since he was a kid, he had a frequent, compulsive habit of touching, fidgeting or squirming when he was uncomfortable. “I hear it.”
“Uh-uh,” Connor said. “Big words. Good words.” As always, he showed their father nothing but support.
When Parafit’s eyes turned to Shiv, she said, “Oh, I’m still processing, but…. yeah.”
The therapist nodded, then, “Declan?”
Would I be an asshole if I asked Michael to drive across the city for food? Declan thought. Nah. I pay him, don’t I?
“Declan?”
He was snapped back to where he was. Shit, he thought. “Sorry. And uh, yeah…. I heard what you said, Dad. It was… it was something.”
“Are you with us, Declan?” Parfit asked.
“Of course.” With the way his father was staring at him, he’d never be anywhere else.
The therapist was observing. He looked at each and every one of their reactions, weighed their responses, and seemed to connect some dots. “Logan, do you realize how much power you wield in this room?”
Their father feigned confusion. “What do you mean?”
“He has a lot of power everywhere,” Roman said, accompanied by a nervous rubbing of the back of his neck
“What I guess I’m asking is, how do you feel about what you just said?”
“Look, everything I’ve done in my life, I’ve done for my children. I know I’ve made mistakes-”
“-Dad,” Shiv said. “You can’t just use the one sentence.”
“But that’s how I feel, Siobhan. I can make this shit up if you like.”
“Sounds like you already are,” she muttered.
“I’m not saying she’s right, but it really does feel that you’re not saying everything you’re thinking,” Declan said. “I mean, come on, give us something other than the line you’ve used before.”
“Well, that’s because it’s always been the truth. I mean, do you think I’m lying?”
Declan decided to shut his mouth.
“Shiv?” Connor asked. Clearly, he wanted to hear what she had to say.
“Look, I guess where I’m coming from is I’m having a hard time diving in because, honestly, I’m wondering why he brought us here in the first place. I mean, was it for this photo opportunity?”
“No, no, of course not,” Logan said. “I wouldn’t have brought you here for a photo and an interview-”
“-Sorry? Excuse me? There’s an interview now?”
“Well, I told you, photo and-”
“-No, you didn’t.” Shiv’s face fell. “What, so this is essentially a publicity event?”
“It’s optional. There won't be questions.”
“This is not okay. I have a publicist for this stuff. Con, did you know about this?”
“I think the picture is okay,” Connor said. “I think it’s nice.”
“Rome? Dec?”
“I don’t mind,” Roman said.
Declan clicked his tongue. On one hand, the fact that they were all led here with the promise of coming together and addressing issues to heal just for it all to turn out to be a publicity event DID irritate him, but on the other hand he had known it was coming.
Support your sister, he thought. “I’m slightly dismayed as well,” he carefully chose his phrasing, “We can’t start off family therapy with… belatedness.” He wouldn’t outright accuse his father of lying. “Being forthcoming is comforting.” Big, soft words didn’t hit as hard as short, blunt ones.
Shiv nodded. Roman made a funny noise. Connor looked like he wanted to agree.
“Logan, have you thought about the possibility that your children are actually scared of you?” Parfit asked.
He seemed affronted by the notion. “Aw, fuck off! After what they’ve done to me? Fuck off!”
Fuck you, Declan thought. For every one thing we’ve done, you’ve done five.
After that spiel, Logan took out his phone. The therapist put a stop to what would have been a small distraction that would have eventually derailed this entire thing.
“Look, can we go back to our agreement where we put aside our cell phones, just focus on what’s going on in this room? Can we do that?”
“I’m trying to buy a number of television stations,” Logan said.
“Okay,” Parfit sounded disapproving. “But could you do it later?”
“Fine. Tell me what more you want and I’ll dance the dance.”
“I guess what I want is for you to tell us how you are feeling?”
Their father blinked. “How I’m feeling?”
Parfit nodded. “Mm-hm.”
“I feel… I need to check my emails.”
“That’s not a feeling, Dad.”
Connor butted in. “Maybe don’t deny Dad’s feelings, Shiv.”
“Okay, I turned down something huge to be here, and you’re gonna tank it.”
“I’m doing therapy,” Logan huffed.
“I don’t think you are,” Roman muttered.
“I am.”
“Well, now you’re denying their feelings, Dad,” Connor said.
I’m so glad I didn’t have anything better to do today, Declan thought. I could have jerked off at mach speed with hand sanitizer and it would have burned less than this.
“Look, what I think we should really have a conversation about is the fact that Kendall’s not here. And that’s because there are reports of him running around taking drugs.” Shiv turned her eyes towards their father. “And I, for one, don’t know where those reports have come from.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Logan said.
“What does that mean?”
“I’m not getting into that today. It’s beyond the remit.”
“I don’t really think there is a remit, Dad.”
“I had nothing to do with those stories.”
Very convincing, Declan thought. Nice job deflecting.
“Shiv, do you believe your father?” Parfit asked.
Shiv and Logan stared at each other. There was another tense, loud silence.
“Go on.”
“Honestly?” Shiv said. “No. I think this whole thing is fake.”
“Roman?”
“I don’t know.”
Parafit turned.
“I don’t know….” Connor’s eyes lowered, “....no.”
“I mean, he might not have meant to, but…” Roman sighed, “.....no, I don’t believe him.”
The focus shifted. Once again, it was Declan’s turn on the merry-go-round of trying to engage productively with his family.
But he did not hesitate. “No, I don’t believe him.”
“I’M SORRY!” Logan barked, and his volume made everyone flinch. “I’m sorry! All right?!” His thin patience seemed to be crumbling. “I’m finished. I’ll apologize as much as you fucking like, but I can’t get into everything! That’s it!”
“Dad,” Declan said. “I think it’s best if we all just take a moment. Nobody was accusing you of anything, we just wanted to know if you knew what was going on.”
“Bullshit, you’re all attacking me.”
Jesus fucking Christ, he thought. If it were anyone else, Declan would have told them to fuck off. “Dad, I promise we’re not attacking you, we just want you to talk to us.”
“You know, Logan, if I’m asked if I thought that you participated in this family therapy in an earnest way, I don’t think I could answer in good conscience that you have,” Parfit said.
Logan quickly forced his boiling temper down to a lukewarm. “Fine,” he said calmly. “I apologize. Maybe I’m hungry. I got nothing to hide.”
However, Logan’s lies and subsequent outburst had made an already tense environment worse. Nobody wanted to pick up where the conversation left off, not even the therapist.
Parafit let out a long sigh. “Okay, how about we take a break and begin again with a clean slate this afternoon?”
Everyone nodded. They hoisted themselves out of their seats and scrambled out of the chapel one by one. Waste of fucking time, Declan thought. Liane was waiting for him in the kitchen.
“How’d it go?” She asked.
“Good. Fine,” he replied in the earshot of the others. “We’re reconvening this afternoon.”
Then, they took themselves into the next room, switching to French.
“How’d it really go?” Liane asked.
“It was bullshit,” Declan said. “He barely even pretended to do it, and we couldn’t talk about anything.”
“Did you say anything?”
“Sure did, but he’s more closed off than China’s borders.”
“You sound disappointed,” Liane said. “It’s okay to admit, being right’s not always fun.”
“Being wrong’s a worse hit in the balls. And I’m not disappointed, I’m tired. Tired of the cheap theatrics that nobody’s buying.”
“What do you want me to say? You chose to go back to the circus, you knew what it meant.”
“..... I know. But that doesn’t mean I deserve to get fucked. Let’s just get through this so we can go home.”
They smoothed out their faces and strolled back into the kitchen, rejoining everyone else just in time to cozy in on a conversation between Shiv and Roman.
“What’s up? Wait, what are you doing?”
“The Tesla. I’m going into town,” Shiv said. “I’ve got a meeting. I’m not gonna take this seriously if no one else is.”
“But we’re getting somewhere, Shiv,” Connor said. “I can feel it. He’s breaking down.”
“You’re sweet and I love you, but you’re delusional.”
“Well, you can’t do that,” Roman whined. He turned to the therapist. “Is that allowed?”
“Well, I think Shiv is capable of making an adult decision….”
Shiv made a triumphant face.
“...But here’s what I was thinking: why don’t we all take a break? Huh? Just get out of our heads and into our good bodies,” Parafit said. “You know? Let’s go for a swim. Everybody. Get your dad out there.”
“Dad can’t swim,” Connor said.
“Yeah,” Shiv said. “He doesn’t even trust water. It’s too wishy-washy.” She leaned across the counter and held out a hand towards Connor. “Can I have the keys?”
He placed them in her palms, and then she was gone.
“Seriously?” Roman said.
“You know what? I do want to go for a swim.” Declan swung the backyard door open. “Anyone else? It’ll be more fun than the shit we’ve been doing.”
“Fine,” Roman muttered. “Whatever, I’ll join you.”
“I’ll go too,” Willa said.
He was the last one in, in order to avoid getting splashed, as both of the others had decided to jump in with all their weight. Declan’s approach to swimming was lazy, more floating than movement. The water - cool in the autumn - rubbed goosebumps onto his skin. His wet hair fell down, sticking to his face.
He closed his eyes, leaning against the wall of the pool. Swimming was weightless - it took stress out of your back and weight off of your shoulders. In the autumn evening, the sun wasn’t scorching - it was a warm glow over his face, like a hot towel.
I need to talk to Roman sometime, Declan thought. He’ll be annoying, but I’ll have to deal with it.
“Yeah, you gotta jump!” Willa cheered.
Declan cracked an eye open, saw Willa and Roman cheering for Parfit to jump into the pool, and closed his eye again. He moved towards a corner, hoping to avoid getting splashed.
“You want me to jump?”
“Jump! Jump! Jump!”
“Jump, ya fuckin’ pussy!”
There was a great big smack as Parfit jumped into the pool, breaking through the surface and flinging up water like a sprinkler.
He heard Willa’s voice become suddenly panicked. “Oh, my god!”
Declan snapped his eyes open, startled. Looking around for the source of the panic, he saw it: Parfit had smashed his head into the bottom end, and the blue water was slowly starting to fill with a dark, blurry red.
“What the fuck happened?!” He shouted.
“I don’t know!” Roman said. “I think he hit the bottom!”
Declan hoisted himself out of the pool and ran.
Not bothering to dress or even dry himself off, he ran into the kitchen, still dripping with water as his feet slapped hurriedly against the floor. Upon reaching the room where everyone was sitting around, he had to grab onto the wall and brace himself to keep from slipping.
“Guys!” He shouted. “Our therapist just got fucked!”
Like bees, everyone began to swarm towards the backyard door. Parfit was stumbling, holding towels against his mouth that were soaked with blood. Roman and Willa were flanking him.
“We don’t know if he got a head injury,” Willa said, “or if…”
“Eh ey mou’!” Parafit muffled.
“He just dived in,” Roman said, “and he hit the bottom.”
“Did you hit your head?” Willa asked him.
“Eeef!” Was all Declan could make out from what Parfit was saying.
“He hit his teeth!” Connor said.
“His teeth are in his head, Connor, it’s kind of a central feature.”
“It’s clearly signed. What were you thinking?”
“I didn’t think he'd jump in headfirst!” Roman said. “Also, hi Karolia.”
Declan turned. He hadn’t even noticed that Karolina had arrived.
“Hey, Roman,” Karolina said. “Don’t let him go to sleep.”
Parfit rebuked that with another muffled retort, louder.
Retard, Declan thought. We learn not to dive head-first into pools when we’re 6.
“Okay, let’s take a look,” Karolina said, peeling the towel away from the therapist’s mouth. “The bleeding always makes it look worse than it actually is….”
The cloth came down, and Parfit opened up. A wide, bloody gap had formed in the top row of his mouth, leaking red. Four of his center front teeth were missing. His gums had begun to swell like inflated balloons.
Everyone winced in disgust, even Logan. That needed a doctor.
“Let’s take him to the hospital,” Willa said.
Panicked, the therapist tried to turn towards a mirror.
“No, no, no, you’re okay,” Roman said, placing a hand on the man’s shoulder as if to comfort him. “It’s okay, you look okay.”
“You know what?” Connor said. “It’ll be faster if I take him myself.”
“No, no, no,” Logan replied. “Send your guys. Send Collin. We should stay.”
“No, I want to help him out-” Connor leaned into Logan whispered “-I want to make sure he’s not litigious.”
Connor and Willa led Parafit out of the hallway, towards the front door.
“Fuckin’ great! And I was about to take advice from a clown who dives headfirst into the shallow end of the pool!” Logan scowled as he saw that three of his children were now absent. “And now everyone’s fucking off!”
“Logan,” Marcia said. She rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. “Roman and Declan are here. They’re here for the photos, for everything.”
“Sure,” Roman said, “I give good cheekbone.”
“Mine’s better,” Declan added.
“Okay,” Logan grumbled. “Let’s go.”
He took a brief moment to put back on his clothes, they went out front with a photographer. Past the fountain, past the roadway that led up to the ranch, until they reached a slope of yellow grass and dry dirt. Dark green bushes dotted the horizons in the background. The evening sun would soon set.
Roman and Declan were at their father’s right and left side. While walking, his eyes stopped looking forward and glanced over them both.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Logan grumbled. He kept his face happy for the photos.
He was talking about the Hawaiin shirt. “Not my fault,” Declan said, making sure to keep the smile plastered on his lips, “We’re at a ranch in New Mexico with a pool. I didn’t know there would be photos.”
Clicking sounds vibrated from the camera into the air. “Can we do the walking and talking?” The photographer was several feet away, snapping the pictures. “Walking and talking.”
“He wants us to be talking,” Roman said. “We look great, apparently.”
So they walked, although it was more like a stride, with all of them planting their feet on the ground each step.
“I want you to call Japan,” Logan ordered. “We got the office set up here. I’m tickling Sandy on local. I want you to get into the government issues of the launch detail.”
“Right,” Roman chirped. “Sure.”
Another moment of the three of them walking together passed. The camera clicked. The wind swooshed.
“Do you actually want me to do that, or are you just saying shit for the camera?”
“No.” He turned his head to Roman. “You’re a COO, aren’t you?”
“Sure, I got it. I was just checking.”
“And you.” Now, Logan turned to Declan. “You better make sure Kendall drops his lawsuit soon.”
“If we’re looking for a hammer, I’m sure I can get the District Court to file an injunction. But it won’t be quick.”
“Then make it quick.”
“....Alright.” Why does he never listen? Declan thought.
It took hours for everything to finish; between the photos, which must have been in the dozens, and the interview, which was a long and arduous sequence of answering everything dishonestly. But Declan was nothing if not competent with making up words.
It was, however, mentally exhausting. By the time he was done, the effects of the alcohol he had drunk earlier that day were no longer making this bearable. He wanted nothing more than to kick off his shoes and face plant into the bed next to his girlfriend.
Night had settled over the ranch, and everyone was huddled inside the kitchen. Connor and Willa had returned, having let go of Parfit. While Roman had gone to fetch a wandering Kendall like a pokemon, Declan would be spending the rest of his night trying to write up an injunction that he would then submit on behalf of his father.
That would be the easy part. The hard part would actually be waiting for the District Court to see it, which could take more time than his dad wanted. He’d have to find a way to talk to the judge outside of the courthouse.
Halfway through writing down why exactly Kendall’s lawsuit is actually illegal, his ears caught the sound of footsteps. Looking up, he saw Shiv striding back, giving Tom a kiss.
“You’re late,” Logan said.
Shiv was unbothered. “So, what happened with the pretend therapy? Any pretend breakthroughs? Any good performances?”
“Nothing,” Connor ruefully said. “Our therapist died.”
“What?”
“Metaphorically speaking.”
“He smashed his teeth out in the pool,” Tom said. “Freud would have had a field day.”
“Where’ve you been?” Logan asked.
The eyes revealed the most. Their father’s held a piercing look, accusative and angered, revealing that he already likely knew. Shiv could sense it too.
There was tension in the room. Those who were used to it were paying attention, waiting for what they knew to anticipate. Others, like Liane, Willa and Tom, were loose-footed, eyes darting back and forth uncomfortably.
“I was meeting,” she said slowly, “about a prospective job.”
“With your father’s enemy?” Marcia asked.
Declan remembered who her ex-boyfriend was teamed with, and it clicked. Eavis, he thought. Why him? Is this about Dad, or about Nate? What do I even say here?
She did not address the remark. “Okay.” She patted Tom on the shoulder and strutted off. “I’m gonna go to bed.”
“I keep an eye on things, Siobhan,” Logan said. “I keep an eye.”
That stopped her in her tracks. “What is that supposed to mean? I mean, I had a meeting. You do whatever the hell you like, on everything, forever.”
“Why don’t we chat this over in the morning?” Tom proposed. His face was tight with nervousness at what was impending.
“I think that’s good.” Declan raised his finger. “It’s been a long day. We’re all exhausted, and this conversation isn’t going anywhere.”
But their father paid no mind to him, he was focused. Marcia decided to back him up. “And he has to hear it from his so-called ‘friends’, on the phone, dripping poison in his ear,”
Something briefly cut through the tension in the room and made everyone turn their heads.
A loud banging occurred against the windows, causing them to shake. An unhinged voice sang in rhythm with each hit. “FAMILY THERAPY!” He hit in rapid succession. “FAMILY THERAPY!” Again. “FAMILY THERAPY!”
Kendall was there. Roman had brought him back, and now, judging by his wide eyes, heavy breathing, and runny nose, he was actually high.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Kendall cheered as he strutted into the kitchen. “What up, motherfuckers! Sorry I’m late. What are we arguing about?”
“What’s wrong with him?” Logan asked Roman.
“Oh, where do we start?” Kendall smiled. “I’m off my nut, folks.” He swung the fridge door open and snatched a beer. “Off my fucking nut, like all the papers said. Your dreams have come true. Congratulations.”
In that brief moment, he was more worried about his brother than concerned about his father’s anger. “You alright?” Declan asked. “You hurt?”
“Nah, I’m good. I am gooooooood.”
He was fucking clean, Declan thought sadly.
Roman leaned into Logan’s ear. “Just so you know, I think things are good with the launch. I talked to the guy-”
“-He doesn’t care. Rome, he doesn’t even fucking notice,” Kendall said. “Hey Dad, give him a high five. Come on, he’s waiting. Dad?”
Their father was still staring daggers at Shiv. “You’d do that to me? Eavis? The one senate member who wants to fuck me ragged, on the same side as those animals that hit me with a bag of piss.”
“It’s my work, Dad,” Shiv said. “You of all people ought to understand that.”
“Work?” Logan snapped. “It’s rebellion! Sabotage!”
“Oh, yeah, of course! ‘Cause it’s all about you! Not that I might be in agreement with his points about the purchases, or just maybe his whole philosophy.”
“Philosophy?!” Logan shouted. “This is nothing but a miserable deliberate attempt to undermine my whole business strategy!”
“You don’t have a business strategy, Dad,” Kendall chuckled. “Your whole business model is based on seducing presidents. You’re a really high-class hooker.” He turned to Willa. “No offense.”
“Fuck off.” Willa rose to her feet, stepping by Connor. “My aunt’s an addict. It’s been a long day, it’s been really nice getting to know you all a bit better.” And she stormed off back to her room, her shoes tapping angrily against the floor. “Goodnight.”
Liane, who was sitting in the chair next to Declan, whispered, “Should we leave and go to bed?”
“No,” he said. “Even if you look away, you can’t escape the damage.”
Connor’s eyes trailed off after his girlfriend, watching her go. When she was gone, he hung his head. “I gotta say, I feel a little bit used today, Pa.”
Logan rolled his eyes. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, not you too.”
“Where we are, and all that’s happened, and then even tonight you have to go off and work?”
“I made some calls. Jesus, can’t you wait?”
“Can I wait for you to finish a few calls?” Connor said sadly. “Yeah, I think so, Pa. I’ve had a bit of practice. Quite a bit.”
“Connor,” Marcia pleaded, pointing to Kendall and Shiv. “Your father has been busy dealing with these two traitors.”
“Disagreeing with Dad is not treason,” Shiv said.
Roman replied with, “Yeah, but trying to make one of his biggest enemies president is kind of a ‘fuck you’.”
“Oh, hey, Dad. Dad. I like those stories you planted about me. That was…” Kendall pinched his thumb and middle finger together to form a ‘nice’ sign, and only the drugs kept the bitterness out of his voice.
“You forced my hand.” Logan was unabashed.
Shiv pointed a finger. “There it is!”
“Yes! And he’s fucking lucky that was all….” Their father snarled. “...What you kids…. do not understand… is that it’s all part of the game.”
“Oh, it’s all a part of the game?” Kendall’s voice rose in pitch. “Come on, everybody. It’s a rootin'-tootin’ super fucking fun game for all the family! Step right up!”
“This isn’t The Wire,” Declan said. “We’re human beings, Dad. We all deserve compassion from you.”
“Oh, don’t try to lecture me about deserve,” he spat, “when my own children have been plotting against me!”
“Dad, c’mon. Yes, she did a backroom deal, but do you really think Shiv would try and sink you to the ground? She loves you!”
Logan turned. “You rush towards politics to prove you’re your own man,” he said to Shiv. “Fine! But that’s not principle. You’re scared to compete. You’re marrying a man fathoms beneath you because you don’t want to risk being betrayed. You’re a fucking coward!”
“Wow!” Shiv muttered. Tears formed in her eyes. “Wow, you are just beyond….” Her voice choked up as she sped off.
Tom followed after her, cowed. What a fucking bastard, Declan thought. Not even close to the worst insult I’ve ever heard, but coming from your own father…. I don’t think anyone deserves that.
“You know…. I was born lucky,” Kendall mused. “I’m a lucky person. I realize that. And you’re so fucking jealous, aren’t you? You’re so fucking jealous of what you’ve given your own kids. You can’t handle it. You can’t work it out.”
“If I had spoken to my uncle like that….”
Declan recalled the bits and pieces he knew about Noah Roy, the man who raised his father and his uncle Ewan. He and his father and he were not close enough to discover every detail about each other and Logan Roy did not like to talk about his past, but still, sometimes silence reveals more, and even the most ignorant could view the subtext and see that bastards raised bastards.
“What? Hmmm? What would evil Uncle Noah do?” Kendall mocked. “Calling your daughter a coward ‘till she cries? Big man.”
Like an angry bull, their father pushed out of his chair and charged towards Kendall, even as Marcia was trying to hold him back.
“You are a fucking nobody,” Logan maintained direct eye contact to drive the message deep.
At the end of the day, the least everyone could look forward to was a bit of rest - if they could sleep. Fortunately, he could.
Everyone fizzled off, traveling to their separate rooms for the night. Declan locked the door behind him and Liane and let out a sigh so long that it felt like he was releasing parts of his soul.
“I didn’t think…”
“Yeah,” Declan said. “Today was fucked, even for us.” He fell backwards onto the bed. “You know something?”
Liane fell on top of him. “What is it?”
“I used to stay up all night, looking at those stupid fucking sunny pictures of those suburban families with the golden retrievers and the smiles on their faces, where the kids are frollicking through the fields, and I felt envy. But you know what I learned as I got older?” Declan asked.
“It would never happen,” Liane said sadly.
He nodded. “It’s all fake. The pictures are idyllic. And I’m not just talking about my family, I mean all of them. Because the truth is that behind closed doors, the suffocating atmosphere and the verbal sparring, this is what’s real. The fucking circus where everyone tries to tear eachother down, that’s what family really is. The soul is black. Nobody’s ever really happy.”
“So why not leave?” Liane asked.
“Before you, if I left, I would have been alone. Now…. I don’t know. But I don’t think I’ll be leaving anytime soon.”