Chapter Text
"Sir, he has lost a lot of blood. Even though the transfusions are underway......."
"But he will be fine, right doctor? He Will live right??" Chen yi couldn't stop sobbing. Due to the huge time gap between the incident and medical assistance, Ai di's condition had worsened. Even though chen yi tried his best to stop the bleeding, he couldn't. And now, hearing this from the doctor just shattered his heart even more. He blamed himself for this situation...
"Sir, I understand your emotional state right now.......but I feel you should know this...he..."
"What is it? Please say it doctor...PLEASE"
"He might not make it"
Chen yi's eyes went blank.
"Sir, we have tried our best.. but considering that a major artery was affected due to the bullet, the bleeding was very bad...even If you consent to use of ventilator, it wouldn't really improve his condition but give him more pain and there is no guarantee that he will survive the other harsh procedures..."
"....."
"He is in the Emergency room..bed 23...I would suggest you wear the PPE and be with him now...but remember Sir, only one person allowed."
".......ok"
Chen yi couldn't think about anything. He felt as if his legs would give away. His world, which he had built over the years, which had his dearest in the centre and his clan people....it was crumbling down....Just like the planets would be destroyed if the sun is not there...Chen Yi would also be destroyed if his Ai di is not there...
He had one resolve in his mind : if Ai di dies, he will follow him without a second thought.....to hell with the Alliance....he wouldn't be able to survive without Ai di anyways, let alone handle the Alliance by himself..
A nurse came and gently tapped on his shoulder which bought chen yi back to the real world and he realised...he was crying. Never in his life has he cried before others except Ai Di and his friend Zherui, but right now, his pride didn't matter even a bit. The nurse escorted him to the changing room, handed him the PPE and led him to the bed.
As the distance between Chen yi and Ai di was closing, chen yi was losing his mental strength....but he wanted to stay strong for his love because he still had a small hope in his heart that his little devil will survive this ordeal..he had survived so many harsh things in the past...he is a strong one..he would survive.......
Wouldn't he?
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Chen yi wanted to cry out loud...Ai di was looking so bad...his face was pale like a white sheet and so many wires were attached to his body and the machines were beeping slowly..it tore his heart to see his most loved person in this state.
He quietly walked and sat down on the seat near the bed. He held Ai Di's hand carefully and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles.
"Baby.....Ai di? How are you feeling? I know you are a strong man and that no one should ever disregard you because you are short...but you are seriously so much shorter than others..you do understand that right?" Chen yi let out a small laugh, trying to be humorous if it would help with the nerves.
"But you are my shorty..you are the diamond of my life and I can never ever imagine my life without you..."
"...please....come back to me....please"
He couldn't hold it in any longer...the tears started flowing and he cried silently, still holding Ai di's hand.
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It had been 4 hours since Chen yi carried his own dead weight out of the room, took note of the injured guys of the Alliance and instructed Xiao Jie to take care of the rest. He was forced by Xiao to clean himself up and eat some food, stating that 'he shouldn't look like a dead man otherwise Ai di would unalive him for not looking after chen yi the moment he wakes up'. Then, he straight went back to the room to be by Ai di's side, despite resistance from the nurses stating that visiting hours were over. Thankfully, the doctor in charge was nearby and let him stay but with all precautions. Chen yi took Ai di's hand into his and closed his eyes....sleep quickly claimed him.
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It was 4 in the morning. Chen yi had woken up but kept his eyes closed, his hands still embracing Ai di's. He really wished all of this is a dream, and that Ai di will smack him out of this nightmare and then provide him the love and comfort that he always gives. But ......... this dream is not ending.
It is very much the reality.
Suddenly, he felt slight movements in his hands. It was small but there. He quickly turned his attention towards his hands and what he thought was true....it was Ai di's hand making the movements.
"Ai di? Ai di please open your eyes..how are you feeling?"
"Where....in the world...am..I?" Ai di whispered.
"In the hospital...we bought you here as quickly as we could"
The hospital? Ai di wondered, he couldn't seem to remember anything.
Ahh, the fight...Bo Xiang shooting him..now it made some sense in his head. Not even a second later he flinched as he registered the fact that his entire torso was covered in bandages and he had multiple IV lines running, along with an oxygen mask. He felt numb and drained of energy.
Like his body was just not responded to his mind. Stupid body....this definitely didn't feel just because of medicines...it felt like his life force had been sucked out of him. His body felt like giving up.
"Chen yi....I don't...feel...ok"
"Yes baby...I understand...the surgeries must have taken a lot from you"
"No...it's something else..."
"What?! Do you want me to call the doctor? Wait I will go now..I-"
Ai di tugged his hand with all his efforts. Even this seemingly little task of halting Chen Yi took away his breath and he felt breathless.
"Wait...chen yi....I....want to tell you...something..."
"That can Wait Ai di....The doctor should immediately come to see you."
"No...it would....be too late....just...stay still you dumbo.." Ai Di panted as the words left his throat. He was struggling to breath and he felt that he was losing control of his body. He had made his body so resilient to pain over the years, yet now he was losing all that strength.
His eyes were resolute. He wanted to tell Chen yi something and he absolutely had to. Chen yi knew those fierce eyes and somewhere in his head he felt a wave of darkness entering and trying to fog his brain. It was the fog of fear of losing Ai di. So, he sat down on his knees, held Ai Di's hands and notioned him to speak.
"Listen to me..very carefully"
"Yes baby..I will"
"Since a long time...I have loved you...I loved you so much that it hurt..it hurt...to see you running to the boss, leaving me behind...I used to be ...so mad at you...I knew I wouldn't have..a chance....for you always saw me...as a brother...I would eagerly wait to celebrate our birthdays...but you would always leave..."
"That is the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life Ai di....to have not noticed how you suffered" chen yi said with tears in his eyes.
"Yes..that was a mistake alright...I even ran away from you thinking that whatever the hell of feelings I have for you will just show itself the exit..........from my heart....but NO...it...just grew....and it will grow even more forever.....even If I am not there physically..."
"No...no you can't say this"
"I am just... telling the truth Yi" Ai di kept his hand on Chen Yi's cheeks which were wet with tears. "I honestly...never thought...that I would have to experience this...sort of pain..."
"God why was it you...why not me...I can't bear to see you in this much pain."
"Do you REALLY think I would...have cared any less than....you are now? I am very....kind you know" Ai di smirked, clearly in pain.
"No but you can't leave me...you absolutely can't...we promised each other to have the spicy hotpot after the fight, didn't we? Now who is not keeping their promise huh?"
" Oh god...you have already...mastered your spice tolerance...you can have the whole hotpot yourself and you will still be ok" now Ai di's eyes glistened with tears.
"I am so sorry Yi....I don't.....like breaking promises...especially the ones I made to you...but.....I am.......sorry....I don't think I will be able to fulfill our promise of growing old together....to eat hotpots together...to live life together...."
Every word put a huge strain on Ai di. Yet he was determined to finish his talk with Chen yi, for it increasing became clear that his time was just decreasing.
"........if you go away....I will follow you....I promised, didn't I..for I cannot imagine a life without you by my side..."
"I know.....I would have....loved to have you by ...my side....but listen to me Chen Yi....I don't want you to die...just to follow me...I want you to...live....be there for our brothers....just live...I know it will be painful...and it is selfish of me....to demand this......I just want you to live life a little longer.."
"I will be nothing but a dead shell if you are not there..."
"No...don't be that....Finish the duties you have towards the Alliance.....don't be so hasty....get more experiences in life...have more hotpots..be a better person....just hold on for some more time...when the time will come to go...you will know...."
".....no....."
"Please live...for me.....for us....I don't even know...why i am saying....this now....but I am selfish ain't I?.....but somehow.....I just don't want you to die just like that.......the thought scares me......."
"If that is what you would want....your wish would be my command"
"It's...not a duty....that you have to do.....do it earnestly....so that you have beautiful experiences to tell me later...." Ai Di gave a small smile...The thought of Chen Yi just dying scared him to the core...and he knew chen yi wouldn't hesitate to kill himself....also he couldnt help but worry about the brothers of the Alliance...so he had to say these words to him before darkness engulfs him...
"I love you Chen Yi....I love you very much ....and thank you....for being with the silly me...."
"Yes....I love you very much too...little gremlin...you shall forever be mine...and I shall forever be yours...Ai di"
Ai di removed his breathing mask with great difficulty and Chen yi closed the distance between them and sealed their love for each other with a kiss.
Ai di gave one last smile to him before his eyes fell shut. Chen yi blindly rushed to the nurse station and the doctors with nurses came and asked chen yi to stay outside. As they performed CPR, Chen yi processed the conversation between him and Ai di and all their memories flooded in front of his eyes and he broke down, crying heavily.
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One year later
Chen yi looked like a soulless man. His life was completely turned upside down and he simply wanted to end his life so that he could end his suffering.
Unfortunately, on that day, Ai di fell into a coma. Chen yi wanted to beg the doctor to put him on the ventilator but their last conversation couldn't stop replaying in his head. After much deliberation he chose not to opt for ventilator as he didn't want to hurt Ai Di anymore. Ai di knew himself that the finality of his life had arrived and he had already suffered so much that Chen yi chose to let him go...to let his angel be finally free from the cruel shackles of fate.....for this beautiful soul shouldn't be subjected to anymore anguish.
On the funeral, all the brothers of the Alliance, alongwith Zherui and Zongyi stood by Chen Yi's side to bid their brother, their friend and his lover goodbye. They stood like a pillar for chen yi to hold onto so that he could fulfill Ai di's last wish....to be a better person and be there for the others.
He started slowly taking back control of the Alliance and settling the feuds with least amount of violence involved. He started a legal business to provide medical aid to underfunded hospitals in the area so that people could get timely treatments. Since Ai di's passing, he immersed himself in work, partly because he wanted to keep himself busy as he knew he might go insane and partly to complete Ai di's wishes. His subordinates and friends tried their best to keep him company and help in any way they could.
But the moment he would enter his - their - room, all the repressed emotions of the day would come back and he would cry his heart out. He would get nightmares quite regularly and he felt giving up as the best option multiple times. He even tried to kill himself but couldn't do it as Ai di's face would be in front of his eyes and the promise he gave to gim would stop him from putting a full stop to his life.
He had hold onto all the things that Ai di had gifted him as the only things to remember him by. He would carry the knife around everywhere and clean and sharpened it regularly. Ai di's things were now his most treasured possessions.
He would go to his beloved's grave every now and then, clean up and put new flowers. This time, he visited after 1 whole month. He had gotten so busy that he wouldnt have the strength to go. Now, he finally went and got a bunch of roses to give.
"Baby? I hope you are doing well.... I am trying to live my life as best as I can. Work is going pretty smoothly and all our brothers are healthy and happy. Zherui and Zongyi are busy these days, as the days of their bakery's anniversary is around the corner, they are trying new recipes."
Chen yi opened a bag that he had brought with him and opened the box inside the bag. It revealed 2 pastries that Ai di was fond of eating from Zongyi's bakery.
"Here, I got you these. I know you like them a lot. Let's eat together"
He place one in front of the headstone and started eating the other. "Hmm, it's good as always. Zongyi is definitely a consistent baker for sure."
He ate in silence.
"I really wish you were here with me...life is so difficult you know? The fact that I want to see you the first thing in mornings and last one at night, go out on dates with you, eat the spiciest dishes we can find...........I can't do these alone, right? For it will hurt me to not have you by my side while doing this....I....didn't tell you this when you were there.....but I was planning on marriage...." his voice trailed off.
"....but I will not deter. I will stay for as long as I can before I finally give up. Completely safeguard the future of our Alliance, our brothers and friends, get good experiences and be a much better person. After that, I wouldn't stay even one more second in joining you, as my life mission will be over."
He gently touched the picture of Ai di on the headstone and kissed it lightly.
"We will be reunited soon baby. Our love is eternal and I hope we can bask in each other's presence longer in our next lives. I will definitely find you, no matter what. I love you"
With this, Chen yi packed the pastry in the box, took his bag and left to be back in the reality that awaited him for as long as he lives.