Work Text:
CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board KARKAT WILL NEVER EVER BE FREE FROM DEALING WITH PEOPLE'S ROMANTIC ISSUES.
CGA: I Have Exciting News!
CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTG: oh shit
CTG: kanaya with the shout pole
CTG: things are getting serious
CURRENT cuttlefishCuller [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCC: W)(at's your -EXCITING N-EWS, Kanaya??
FUTURE grimAuxiliatrix [FGA] 10:25 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FGA: Hello I Dont Usually Make Use Of The Transtimeline Features Of This Software
FGA: It Seems Almost Inevitably To Lead To Chaos That Totally Derails Whatever Point Is Being Made
FGA: And If Handled Recklessly Could Nullify The Basic Ability Of Intelligent Beings In All Real And Hypothetical Planes Of Existence To Give A Shit
FGA: As Will Be Plainly Apparent Soon
FGA: It Also Strikes Me As An Uncomfortable Reminder Of The Inevitabilities Intrinsic To Paradox Space
FGA: For Example One Of The Main Reasons Im Writing This Is Because I Remember My Future Self Interjecting When I Originally Opened This Memo
FGA: I Tried To Skim It For The Most Part So I Wouldnt Feel Too Much Like Id Have To Adhere To A Script
FGA: But Its Still A Little Unnerving
FGA: At Least To Me
FGA: Anyway The Other Reason Im Writing Is To Give A Heads Up
FGA: Future Karkat Is Going To Chime In With His Usual Disregard For Temporal Mechanics Not To Mention Good Fashion Sense
FGA: Dont Let His Emotional Theatrics Spoil This Moment
FGA: I Paid Him No Mind And Am The Better For It
FGA: Thats All
FGA: Bye
FGA ceased responding to memo.
CGA: Ok I Didnt Read Most Of That For Reasons Im Sure Future Me Understands
CGA: But I Will Be Prepared To Ignore Karkat When The Time Comes
PAST twinArmageddons [PTA] 10000 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PTA: ehehe i have n0 idea why this mem0 sh0wed up f0r me just n0w but it s0unds like it's g0ing t0 be hilari0us as usual.
PTA: n0t g0nna participate because fuck that n0ise, but have fun.
PTA ceased responding to memo.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 612 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: OH NOT THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN.
FCG: KANAYA, SORRY TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT THOSE THINGS ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL WEARING THEM.
FUTURE gallowsCalibrator [FGC] 612 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FGC: SHUT UP K4RK4T, TH3Y 4R3 F4NT4ST1C 4ND YOU KNOW 1T
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
FGC: 1 W1LL B3 ON K4RK4T DUTY SO YOU C4N M4K3 YOUR 4NNOUNC3M3NT K4N4Y4 >:]
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
CGA: Thank You Terezi
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTA: 0h shit it's this 0ne.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
CTA: 0h my g0d.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
CTA: kk can y0u just st0p unbanning y0urself f0r a minute s0 i can backread.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FGC banned FCG from responding to memo.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FCG's computer has been unplugged.
CTA: thanks tz.
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGC: 1 4M SUR3 MY FUTUR3 S3LF 1S BUSY W1TH SL4PST1CK SH3N4N1G4NS 1NVOLV1NG 4 C3RT41N NUBBY HORN3D SOM3ON3
CGC: SO 1 W1LL H4PP1LY 4CC3PT YOUR TH4NKS ON H3R B3H4LF
CGC: BUT 4NYW4Y K4N4Y4 1'M DY1NG TO KNOW
CGC: WH4T 1S YOUR B1G 4NNOUNC3M3NT?
FGC: FJAIOWE
FGC: KRJU/;UU;OP
CCC: Krabkat, stop it!
CCC: We )(ave been waiting on tenter)(ooks for Kanaya's announcement and you are being a )(UG-E GLUBBING ASS)(OL-----------E!
FGC: OK I'M SURE I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME SO I'LL JUST SAY
FGC's computer has been unplugged.
CGA: Ok Per My Future Instructions I Will Not Allow This To Kill The Mood
CGA: And I Will Share My Exciting News
CGA: Which Is That I Have Finally Finished My Latest Project
CGA: And As Such I Have Achieved The Wardrobe Upgrade I Have Long Anticipated
CGA: Of Course I Will Be Making The Rounds To Show You In Person But For Now Look At This Wonderful Picture Rose Took
CGA shared the file "kanayahugejorts.jpg"
CTA: ...
CCC: ...
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAG: ...
CAG ceased responding to memo.
CTG: oh my lord
CTG: those are beautiful
CGA: Thank You Dave
CGA: I Am Very Proud Of Them And I Expect They Will Become A Staple Of My Ensemble
CTG: this is it
CTG: this is the best of all possible worlds
CTG: dr pangloss is going to stop being pretty much fake as fuck because of how true his prophecies have come
CTG: kanaya have i ever told you i love you
CTG: i mean obviously not in a romantic kind of way because theres approximately one metric fuckton of reasons that wouldnt work
CTG: but you have the soul of a true artist
CTG: im kind of overwhelmed honestly
CTG: i think im gonna uh
CTG: sit here stunned and contemplate the beauty of life
CTG: yeah thats a normal and reasonable thing to do
CTG: be good yall
CTG ceased responding to memo.
CGA: Um
CGA: I Appreciate The Sentiment But That Sounded Vaguely Ominous
CGA: Should I Be Concerned
CURRENT tentacleTherapist [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTT: He's all right.
CTT: If the flurry of messages he's sending me right now is any indication, he is genuinely awestruck by the beauty of your creation.
CTT: I won't betray his confidence, but I'm reasonably sure that his outburst just now was about as sincere as a Strider can get.
CTT: And no wonder.
CTT: As I've told you, the jorts are stunning.
CGC: TH3Y SM3LL 3XQU1S1T3!
CGC: L1K3 4 BLU3B3RRY D3N1M BOUQU3T
CGC: 1 TH1NK 1 M4Y B3 COM1NG DOWN W1TH TH3 V4PORS >;]
CURRENT apocalypseArisen [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: wow those jorts are huge!
CGA: Im Glad My Handiwork Passes The Sniff Test
CAA: and very fetching
CGA: Oh Hello Aradia
CGA: Thank You
CAA: i love the way they billow around your calves
CAA: you have very solid calves
CAA: :D
CTA: aa y0u're being kinda creepy, g0tta say.
CAA: i thought i was being friendly!
CAA: and you cant deny she has solid calves
CTA: kn back me up here, that's a weird thing t0 say.
CGA: I Dont Know That Im The Best Judge Of That
CGA: So I Will Take The Compliment And Move On
CTT: Aradia is right, Kanaya has excellent calves.
CTT: Among other attributes.
CTA: 0h right y0ur matesprit is the creepiest weird0 in hist0ry, h0w c0uld i f0rget.
CTA: n0 0ffense.
CGC: WOW 4ND H3R3 YOU W3R3 4 MOM3NT 4GO L3CTUR1NG 4R4D14 4BOUT T4CT!
CTA: 0h like y0ure 0ne t0 talk. y0u're like the queen 0f sniffing pe0ple inappr0priately, and that's n0t even menti0ning all the 0ther shit y0u d0.
CGC: W3LL M4YB3 YOU 4R3 TH3 QU33N OF B31NG SULL3N 4ND BROOD1NG 4ND PO1NTL3SS >:[
CTA: w0w.
CGC: >:?
CTA: yeah, y0u're pretty much pr0ving my p0int here.
CTA: whatever, i d0n't feel like making a wh0le thing ab0ut it.
CTA: h0w ab0ut we get back t0 talking ab0ut kanaya's j0rts.
CTA: they're pretty great.
CAA: yes ive just been looking more closely at the picture
CAA: kanaya theyre amazing!
CAA: and theyre a great fit
CAA: by which i mean they are many many sizes too large aside from the waist
CAA: but thats what makes them so perfect :D
CGA: Im Glad You Think So Aradia
CGA: They Were A Labor Of Love And Im Proud Of How They Turned Out
CAA: can i come over and see in person?
CAA: i know you said you were going to Be Making The Rounds but im kind of impatient
CGA: Id Be Honored
CAA: :D
CTA: maybe i sh0uldn't even ask, but is this ab0ut her calves?
CAA: no of course not!
CTA: i d0n't kn0w, the timing just feels a little suspici0us.
CAA: its about her huge jorts and nothing else
CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCG: WHAT ARE "HUGE JORTS" AND WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THEM?
CGC: (1 TH1NK TH4T'S OUR CU3 TO L34V3)
CCG: OH I GET IT, EVERYONE'S HAVING A GRAND OLD TIME UNTIL KARKAT SHOWS UP, THEN IT'S TIME TO FUCK OFF.
CCG: REAL FUCKING SUBTLE, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL?
CCC: )(ey Karpkatfis)(!
CCC: I don't t)(ink anemonebody is trying to snub you, it's just t)(at your future self was popping up earlier and being a major pain in t)(e bass!
CTA: 0h hey ff, y0u're still here.
CCC: Y-EP! 38)
CGA: Im Sorry Karkat But We Really Were Winding This Down
CGA: Well See Each Other Soon Enough And Then We Can Catch Up
CCG: OKAY FINE, I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.
CGC: K4RK4T
CCG: WHAT?
CGC: K4444RK4T
CCG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
CGC: 1 W4NT
CGC: TO S4Y
CGC: TH4T 1 W4S TRY1NG TO SNUB YOU >:D
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGA: I Think I Have To Agree That Its Time To Shut This Down
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CGA: See You Soon Aradia
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CGA: Thank You All For Appreciating My Huge Jorts
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
CGC banned CCG from responding to memo.
CGA closed memo.