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Don't you realize? Your body could fall apart at any second

Summary:

William Wisp's body is decaying. His brain isn't making it much better but luckily someone's awake to be there for him.

Notes:

Once again projecting conditions onto jrwi characters
All this is my personal experience with eczema but now a la wiwi.
Shoutout to car seat headrest (title from body's by them)

 

Maybe ooc I haven't written in a while soz
I am so tired sorry for writing mistakes

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

His body was decaying. William picked at his leathery skin as it flaked off, covering the sheets in a light snow. The sound of nails scratching filled the room.

Time had stretched on for a while, maybe minutes, maybe hours he'd lied there. But he had to do something. He couldn't continue like this.

Quietly he slinked out of the bed, careful not to wake two of his sleeping lovers in what was probably the middle of the night.

As he turned on the harsh bathroom light, the image in the mirror repulsed him. A small pale boy dressed in a black shirt from some indie band and blue shorts stared back at him.

Dark rings circled his dull eyes, cracked lips framed by frizzy hair and his hands. Oh, his hands.

Will had seen his body in worse states after some fights but this always felt different somehow. 

Blood and some clear fluid stained his hands and fingernails. The skin he could see was rough and patchy, like he was part crocodile.

It had stopped itching but he couldn't return to bed just to bleed all over the sheets, no- he'd have to clean it.

So he gritted his teeth and let the cold water from the faucet run until it was clear, a stinging pain like his hands were on fire enveloping his hands.

William pressed his eyes tightly and sunk to the floor. Usually pain felt dull and far away, but this couldn't be more present. It was as if his body hated him.

Whatever. He hated his body too.

In one fluid motion as if practised many times he turned off the tap and pressed his wounds dry with a towel. Clear red blotches painted the white fabric so he tossed it in the basket, exchanging it for a clean one. 

Out of the cabinet he grabbed some bandages and started winding it, covering his wounds

With his mouth he tied the two ends together, securing the fabric around his second wrist. A couple times he squeezed his fingers, rotating his hands. He'd had a couple times where he tied it so tight that his fingertips had started turning purple.

He may be decomposing but he didn't need to speed up the process.

As he stared intensely looking for any shift in color, a soft knock at the door grabbed his attention.

“Hey Will” the sleepy head of Ashe peaked out from behind the door. Their purple eyes were pressed into tiny slits and their grey hair stuck into every direction. A plum coloured shirt fell down just under her knees.

William's eyes went wide. “Shit I didn't wake you up did I- I'm so sorry” he tried to move his hands away, but he was too slow. Ashe may have been tired but still as observant as ever.

“Your hands” with open palms she stepped in. Motioning towards his hands, inviting William to put them in hers.

He looked at the tile floor uncomfortably, usually he'd have his hands covered with some fingerless gloves. No one should have to see them. He knew the disgust that would fill their eyes and voice. They didn't deserve that.

But this was Ashe. They'd been through hell and back, literally. She was the love of his life. Just maybe… 

He glanced up at her eyes, her soft, kind eyes, filled with nothing but adoration.

Palms down he wordlessly lowered his hands into Ashe’s. Softly he spoke up.

“It's not- it's my skin. I've been picking at it. I'm decomposing. Like- like a zombie.” a sob escaped his throat. He felt stupid, how that word terrified him. They'd been through so much, experienced so many horrible things and yet here he was freaking out like a little kid about some fake movie monster.

Clawing out of the ground, hands covered in dirt and worms. Stumbling through the forest.

Pain.

Reaching out to a blue flicker, burning his hand on the extreme cold of the wisp.

Smoking on a rooftop, just to feel something. Trapped in his own body holding a knife to his chest.

Closing his eyes and ceasing to exist because he couldn't feel. God, why couldn't he feel?

“Do you want to show me?” Ashe's gentle words and slight squeeze of his hands interrupted his thought spiral.

“It's disgusting” the harsh words escaped him before he could think. But it was the truth. He just didn't want to bother Ashe with his feelings.

But as they started unwrapping his hands, he didn't resist.

The skin had started bleeding again, and his hands were sticky and covered in black ink drops and yellow scabs. It tickled in some spots as Ashe ran their hands over loose hanging skin, and he felt nothing on other spots.

As she turned them over she inspected his wrinkles fingers, his scarred palms.

William pulled away. “I know I shouldn't scratch, I just physically can't stop myself, I'm sorry. I know it's fucking gross.”

Ashe pulled down the collar of her shirt and there, red blotches and runes covered her chest, like a really bad and weird sunburn. 

“Do you think this is disgusting?” she challenged him. Confidence sparked in her eyes, but something else. Something much more valuable: vulnerability.

Of course not, William thought to himself. It made Ashe unique, and they looked badass. Like a tattoo, or a mark of all the shit she'd been through and survived.

“No” he softly chuckled “it's hot, and really fucking cool”.

“Well-” she started, Will could tell she'd already won. “Your knuckled make you look like you were in a fight- I think that's pretty badass” he blushed, if only slightly.

“And besides, I don't like you because you look perfect” Ashe donned a more serious expression “I like you for your imperfections, they make you human” 

That sparked something in William. Human. He could feel his eyes becoming watery, but he was way too tired for that conversation. 

He smiled warmly, playfully. “Soo why are you still up anyway?”

Ashe chuckled, clearly sleep deprived. “Well, I was playing videogames but guess I lost track of time?” They smiled their prizewinning toothy playing-dumb smile.

“I swear Ashe, you take even worse care of yourself then me at this point.” William said flatly, but with no real bite behind his words. “There's still a spot in the bed if you want”

With her tired eyes closed Ashe walked towards the door, whispering an “I'd like that” between yawns.

As they crawled into bed, they shared a short kiss which made William's cold heart flutter. No more words needed to be exchanged as they fell asleep, bodies entangled.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!! I hope you liked it and have a wonderful day/night ily :3