Chapter Text
Donghyuck could see how their talk was affecting Mark. He had barely smiled today, his face just looked blank & tired. It was like he was in his own little world most of the time, often spacing out. Now he was making up an excuse to be the first one to leave the room, he was definitely avoiding Donghyuck.
He felt horrible.
"Where's he off to now?" Jaehyun asked confusedly, but not that surprised. His eyes followed Mark as he walked straight out the door of the practice room w/ slumped shoulders & his head hung low.
The sight made Donghyuck feel even worse.
He wanted to run after him & apologize 20 million more times. He would do anything to make Mark feel better but he knew no matter what he did, it wasn't going to change the situation. He was just gonna have to wait it out & hope time would heal Mark’s wounds.
"He said his chest hurts so manager-nim let him go home early," Doyoung explained w/ an uneasy expression.
This morning everyone had immediately noticed something was up w/ Mark. Even more so than the past couple of weeks. At first, they just brushed it off thinking it was still whatever was going on between him & Johnny but as the day progressed he seemed to have been getting worse.
Everyone was worried.
"He should've just stayed home, he's seemed off since this morning." Jungwoo expressed, some of the other members nodded in agreement.
The room got silent for a few seconds, before Taeyong clapped his hands, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.
“I know we are all worried about Mark but let's not lose our momentum so we can finish as soon as possible a go check on him. The longer we stall, the longer we’ll have to stay." Taeyong stated. The members quickly moved to their positions, ready to work their asses off so they could hurry up & leave.
The music started, and everyone danced.
💚
"Ok, that's a wrap for today guys. You all did great. I'll see you back here tomorrow at 10.” The dance instructor informed them, before gathering his things and leaving the breathless members in the extremely hot room.
They had been practicing for two hours straight & Donghyuck felt as if his legs were going to fall off from all the hardcore choreo. He wondered why all their routines had to always be so intense.
“I feel like I'm gonna pass out." He huffed out, his face flushed & glistening w/ sweat. He fell to the floor, trying to catch his breath.
"Are there-" Doyoung paused, chugging the cold water from his water bottle. Before he continued he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, “any other schedules today?"
"Mark & Taeyong have a meeting in an hour. You, Jaehyun, & Jungwoo have a vocal lesson at 4, as for everyone else, they're free for the rest of the day." The manager answered Doyoung’s question but then looked around the room w/ a perplexed look on his face. “Wait, where's Mark?”
“He snuck out as soon as practice was over.” Yuta had been watching him closely.
“Why does he keep doing that?” the manager asked no one in particular.
Donghyuck felt even more exhausted now.
💚
"I'm going straight to bed, fuck taking a shower," Donghyuck groaned right as they entered the dorm. He quickly pulled off his shoes, kicking them to the side & beelined directly to their room at the end of the hall. Johnny was right on his heels warning him not to get in his bed w/o bathing.
When Donghyuck got to their room, he threw his bag onto his bed, took off his hoodie (which he was 99.9% sure actually belonged to Johnny) & jumped straight into Johnny's bed, leaving no room for Johnny himself to even lie on.
"Hyuck! Your not even gonna change? If you're gonna go to sleep dirty, sleep in your own bed!” Johnny complained, watching the younger get more comfortable & nuzzle deeper into his clean sheets. Donghyuck didn't say anything as he closed his eyes, ignoring everything Johnny had just said.
Johnny sighed. He put his bag on the floor by the closet, then headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. When he came back he changed into a black tee & a pair of gray sweats then walked over to where the beds were, grabbed Donghyuck's bag & placed it on the floor. "I'll just sleep in your bed then," Johnny muttered to himself, getting under the covers.
"Noooooo," Donghyuck complained tiredly, peeking open one eye to look at the older w/ a pout. He moved over in the bed so there was enough room for another body. "Come here, sleep with me," he whined out, patting the spot next to him.
Johnny stared at him blankly for a few seconds before shaking his head.
"Nope, I'm good over here, where it's clean." Johnny smiled innocently & turned over to face the wall before closing his eyes.
It got quiet for a few seconds, before he heard the sound of sheets rustling & feet quietly hitting the floorboards. He heard more rustling as if Donghyuck was changing & then more footsteps coming his way. Johnny opened his eyes & turned back around to see a very sleepy, pouty-looking Donghyuck standing in front of him w/ his PJs on.
Johnny was about to tell Donghyuck to go back to the other bed when he slipped himself under the covers next to him, snaking his arms around his waist. Johnny wanted to protest but couldn't find it in himself to.
"Wake me up when it's time for dinner, ok?” Donghyuck yawned, not waiting for a response before he was fast asleep, still not letting go of Johnny in fear he might crawl away.
Johnny smiled, running his fingers through the sleeping boy's soft hair & kissed the top of his head, before falling asleep himself.
💚
"That's all for today.” the executive informed the boys & their managers.
Everyone at the meeting table began to gather all their belongings & stood up from the chairs, making their way out the door one by one.
Mark stayed seated, staring at nothing in particular. His mind was moving a mile a minute & his emotions were all over the place. It had been a few days since Donghyuck had rejected him but it wasn't getting better, if anything it was seemingly getting worse. He couldn't get out of his own head.
He wasn't angry at Donghyuck per say but he couldn't lie & say he wasn't disappointed. Mostly at himself for realizing his feelings so late.
Too late.
Maybe, just maybe if he had noticed his feelings earlier, Donghyuck would've still liked him then. They may have even been together by now.
"Mark hyung, are you coming? We're about to go get something to eat." A gentle voice spoke from the doorway. Hearing his name finally broke him out of the daze he was in & he looked up, noticing everyone was gone. Everyone except Jisung, who standing by the door w/ a concerned look on his face.
"Um . . . I'm good. I'm not really that hungry & am kinda tired but I got y'all next time, cool?” Mark forced a small smile to try & soothe the worried maknae. He didn't really feel like going out and being social, plus he was 90% sure Donghyuck was going too & he couldn't deal w/ that right now. He'd rather be in his bed as he played his saddest playlist & shut himself off from the rest of the world.
“Ok hyung, but are you sure you're ok? You've seemed kind of out of it lately.” Mark felt bad for worrying the younger but he couldn't really ‘fake it’ anymore.
“I'm good sungie, just tired. Imma go home & get some sleep.”
“Ok, do you want Channie hyung to bring something back for you?”
“No! No.” Mark rushed out. “It's ok, I'll be ok. I'll eat something at the dorm.” jisung quirked an eyebrow up but let it go. Mark was obviously hiding something but unfortunately he didn't have time to question him, everyone else was waiting.
“Ok hyung, I'll take your word for it. But if you ever wanna, like talk or anything, I'm here.” Mark felt terrible for lying to Jisung, especially since it was obvious the younger boy could tell he was lying. But he couldn't have Donghyuck coming to his dorm to bring him food either. Or for any reason really. It was hard enough for him to have to see him every day already, he didn't need to when he didn't have to. So he lied again.
“Im good sungie, but I appreciate the offer. Next time I do have something going on I might just take you up on that.”
“Ok hyung, see you later. Hope you feel better.” Mark gave him a little wave, jisung gave him one back & then he was gone.
& Mark was alone.
All alone.
& so lonely.
This was all Donghyuck's fault.
Mark hated him w/ every fiber of his being.
But in the next second he was feeling like he would never love anyone as much as he loved Donghyuck right now.
This shit was really getting old.
💚
Soon enough, it became too much for Mark to handle. He felt like an overfilled glass that was bound to pour over at any second & he wasn't prepared for the big mess it would leave.
So big, he wasn't sure how'd he'd ever clean it up.
So big, he wouldn't be able to hide it anymore.
"Mark, are you . . . crying?”
Yes, he was.
He was currently sitting on the couch in the living room alone w/ tears running down his face. He didn't mean to cry, he hadn't even realized when it started. But he had forced himself to keep it all in for far too long, it had been a couple of weeks & was bound to spill over at some point.
He guessed that was now.
But how could he not cry when it hurt so bad? So bad it had become unbearable. He had to see him every single fucking day. He had to see him be normal, act like nothing had happened when his whole world had been ripped to fucking shreds. What made it worse was that he still could tell Donghyuck felt bad, pitied him. Maybe that's what hurt most, donghyuck felt bad for him. Felt bad for not liking him back. Donghyuck didn't like him. Naw, he changed his mind, that hurt the most.
“Mark?” Jungwoo repeated.
“Yea um yea I guess I am uh, I don't know what's gotten into me.” he chuckled trying to wipe away the constant flow of tears.
“What's wrong?” Jungwoo was very concerned. Mark had been acting very out of character lately, & now this. He hurried over to sit next to him on the couch. His heart was breaking for him.
The room grew quiet when Mark didn't answer. Just the sound of Jungwoo's soft breathing, & Mark's sniffles could be heard.
Jungwoo decided to change tactics. He rested his head on Mark's shoulder.
"Did you watch a sad movie?" Jungwoo asked with a small smile. He really wanted to know what was going on but he also wanted to lighten the mood.
Mark chuckled. It worked.
"Yup, the saddest movie I've ever seen." Mark shook his head, trying to wipe his tears again, still unsuccessful.
"What was the movie about?" Jungwoo asked quietly. It was late & the other members had already retreated to their rooms.
"Just some lovesick fool who ends up getting rejected." Mark sighed, looking down at his hands trying to will the tears away, but it wasn't working.
It got quiet again for a while before Jungwoo asked another question.
“Would you happen to be the rejected lovesick fool?” he lifted his head off of Mark's shoulder to look at him as he answered.
Mark nodded, not able to say it out loud.
“By who?” Mark glanced at the other boy on the couch before looking down again.
“Um you wouldn’t know them.” Mark stumbled over his words.
Jungwoo had a feeling he was lying but he didn't press any further.
💚
Donghyuck was once again exhausted. Oh how he wished he could have an off day like the other 127 members but here he was in another practice, w/ dream this time.
"Good job guys, let’s take a 15 minute break." The dance instructor yelled.
Donghyuck sighed in relief, falling straight to the floor. This had been happening often lately, except this time he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to get back up. He’s been going nonstop w/ no days off for the past couple of weeks. The struggle was real & he was feeling it.
"I have so much energy today, I don't know what's going." Jaemin laughed, dancing to no music as he faced the mirror with a wide smile.
"I mean I don’t know, maybe it's the 3 cups of coffee you drank this morning?” Chenle laughed out sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he walked across the room to get some water.
"Hyuck, what's wrong w/ Mark? Why didn't he come today?” Jeno inquired as he walked over to the depleted boy & laid next to him.
“He isn’t feeling well again, he said his tooth was hurting yesterday & I guess it’s still hurting today.” Donghyuck responded w/ his eyes closed, too exhausted to open them. This had become a regular thing w/ Mark lately & it was taking a toll on the whole group.
“Or maybe he stayed up too late last night & couldn’t get up in time. He texted me super late last night to play 8 ball w/ him.” Chenle laughed as he got on the floor, laying his head on Donghyuck’s stomach. “Then started getting super weird."
“Weird how?” Renjun spoke up as he layed on one of the couches.
“He started saying stuff like ‘love is stupid & don't ever have a crush. Love, 1/10 would not recommend. He was really going through it. I don't know who broke his little heart but they really did a number on him." Chenle was sure Mark had been speaking from experience. Donghyuck sighed, a frown forming on his face.
"Wait, Mark Lee? In love? Since when?" Jisung questioned, shaking his head at the idea. He wondered if that was why Mark had seemed so down yesterday but it still sounded bizarre to him. Mark was always so busy & occupied by work that he couldn't figure out when he'd had time to find someone.
"Last year." Jaemin smiled. Everyone quickly looked towards him w/ wide curious eyes, Donghyuck included. It made Jaemin laugh.
He definitely knows something.
"Sheesh! Stop looking at me. I’m kidding I'm kidding, I don't know shit." Jaemin put his hands up to show his innocence. No one really believed him though & made sure to let him know. That made him laugh too.
💚
"Is my baby tired?" Johnny cooed as he watched Donghyuck come in their room & close the door like he was some kind of zombie. Johnny followed the boy w/ his gaze as he once again headed towards his bed. He had showered & had his PJs on this time.
"Yes. Now let me sleep." Donghyuck grumbled, a pout visibly making its way to his face. It made Johnny want to cuddle him up & kiss him silly. But he'd refrain, for now.
The younger crawled into bed, next to Johnny, the smell of his freshly washed hair hitting Johnny's nose. He wrapped his arms around the boy, completely forgetting what he had been doing on his phone before his boyfriend had come in the room.
"Goodnight." Donghyuck yawned as he snaked his arms around Johnny as well, resting his head on his chest. He liked the sound of his heartbeat, calm and steady.
"It's not even night yet, it's still the afternoon." Johnny laughed.
"Well good afternoon then." Donghyuck smiled before completely dozing off.