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People often thought Rain was an airhead, a bit dumb. And Rain never disabused them of the notion. He knew that even Sky and his P’Phayu thought the same. So Rain continued to cultivate that image. If it gave him alone time with P’Phayu explaining things in close proximity, after which, if he was a good boy, he would get awesome rewards and if it kept Sky’s attention on him when they were in school, Rain was all for being the dumb airhead. And if others made fun of him, the love he received from his best friend, and his lover, more than made up for it.
But when it came to the people he loved, he noticed everything. For him, each nuance, each smile, each gesture.. he understood everything. When he had met Sky, he was completely sure that this person was his person, his partner. Maybe not in the romantic sense, but more in a platonic sense. It was very clear to him that Sky had some trauma in his past. He was extremely wary of touch, and found it so hard to be close to people. As someone who was extremely tactile, it was sheer torture for Rain to not be able to touch someone he cared for so much, but he respected Sky’s boundaries. However, that did not mean that he did not, at very possible opportunity, touch Sky at all. He made sure that Sky got as comfortable as possible with Rain around.
Sky had transferred from his previous school in the middle of the semester and Rain had been the only person who had reached out to him. Rain was the first person Sky told about his trauma. Rain had been horrified, but he had not shown any kind of any of sympathy or pity, because he had known that Sky would not appreciate it at all. He had however been as empathetic as possible. He showed Sky in every way possible that he was there for him. And Sky had blossomed in the attention Rain showered on him. And somewhere, their feelings grew. There were several moments when Rain felt a pull, that he could not define in words, towards Sky. And he could see that Sky felt the same, especially as they snuggled under blankets sharing their hopes, dreams and their secrets. When they went to college together, in the same department, their relationship was so cemented that they could simply understand each other with just a glance.
Then Rain met Phayu, and Sky met Pai. While both the relationships did not really start off on a very positive note, they too became perfect. Phayu loved Rain simply for who he was. He was a bit like Sky, quiet, sometimes moody, but always there for Rain. They had their ups and downs, but Phayu always used to say that Rain was Phayu’s earth, while he was the moon, and would never stop orbiting around his planet. Just like with Sky, Rain knew everything about Phayu. But he made it a point to never make it obvious. He knew his lover and knew that he always saw himself in the role of protector. While Rain could perfectly take care of himself, he made sure that he included his lover in such a way, that made Phayu think he was the one caring for Rain.
When he returned from Korea, Phayu was there at the airport to pick him up. And Rain immediately saw the difference. Phayu had always been the calm one in their relationship, despite being the ‘storm’, the one who grounded Rain, anchored him and strengthened him. But the Phayu at the airport was a different person. Rain loved his Phi’s arrogance, but suddenly, it was missing. He hated the feeling that crawled under his skin. Why was his Phi being so accommodating? He didn’t even reprimand Rain for being a brat. He was overtly indulgent, making sure Rain was sated. The sex had been mind-blowing. Phayu hadn’t held even a bit of himself back, leaving Rain moaning under his ministrations, but he had not taken anything for himself. He had not cuffed Rain, not spanked him, nothing. It was literal vanilla sex at its worst, and Rain could cry. Many times, he sensed Phayu wanted to say something to him, but he didn’t. He would turn his face away when Rain talked about Sky, not quite meeting his eye. Something was wrong. But Rain didn’t say anything to Phayu.
It was the same story with Sky. He had been extraordinarily clingy with Rain. He made sure that he allowed Rain to touch him for extended periods of time. He would share his food with Rain, giving him all the better options. Both of these things were super red flags for Rain, when it came to Sky. He noted the other things; how Sky helped him in his homework without asking, how he ordered Rain’s favourite foods, how he avoided discussions about P’Phayu, how he refused to join Rain when Rain asked him to work in the garage on their homework, how his eyes darted here and there when any reference to relationships came up. Many times Rain felt that he wanted to say something to Rain, but he didn’t. Something was wrong. But Rain didn’t say anything to Sky.
About a week after his return from Korea, Rain was doing his homework in the garage, when Saifah ran in asking for Phayu. “He is not back yet Phi. He said he will be here at 6,” Rain said. “Shia!” Saifah said, looking stressed. “What happened Phi?” Rain asked. Saifah usually had the most even of tempers, so seeing him like this was a little weird. “Phayu still hasn’t worked on Pai’s bike. It’s been two weeks. And tomorrow are the races. What is he doing?” Saifah said, sounding irritated. “Don’t worry Phi. I will tell him to work on it before he takes me home. Is that fine?” Rain said. “Pai is waiting for it right now,” Saifah said, looking hassled. “Let me talk to P’Pai, okay?” Rain said. Saifah nodded, glad to not have to face Pai’s irritation.
“P’Pai!” Rain called out, waiing politely. “Rain!” Pai said, sounding startled. Rain noted his reaction. “Phi, P’Phayu is not done with the bike, but I assure you that he will do it tonight, before we go home. I would have made him work overnight, but he hates staying at the garage now. So tonight, then tomorrow night, and it will be done. What do you say?” Rain asked, with his signature cute look. “Of course Nong,” Pai said, not quite meeting Rain’s eye. “Phi? Is everything okay between Sky and you?” Rain asked, head tilted to one side. “Of course Rain! Everything is fine!” Pai was quick to put his thoughts forward. “And what about between you and P’Phayu?” Rain asked thoughtfully. If he hadn’t been watching for it, he would have missed the infinitesimal change in Pai’s expression. The man had the most expressive eyes and Rain had been watching them for quite a while now when he and Phayu went out on double dates with Sky and him. Something was wrong. But Rain didn’t say anything to Pai.
Later that night, he sat on a workbench as Phayu worked on Pai’s bike. He could see the strain on Phayu’s face. “Tough day Phi?” Rain asked. “A bit sweet boy. Bit tired you know?” Phayu said, smiling at his boy. Rain smiled brightly, and Phayu’s heart clenched seeing that beautiful bunny smile that Rain kept reserved for him. He ached, ached to hold this boy in his heart forever but fear swirled in his head. There was something in his boy’s eyes today, something he had never seen before. A small chink in the absolute faith Rain had in him that he had always seen and kept close to his heart as his talisman. Why did he see this today? Rain watched the expressions that ran across Phayu’s face, the reflection of the change in his expressions and he smiled inside. Every single reaction he had seen from Phayu, Sky and Pai, something had struck him and he was almost clear to what was happening. Now he knew what was wrong, but he really wanted P’Phayu to tell him. He wondered how long he would have to wait.
Another week later, Rain was despairing if any of them would say anything. P’Pai had come again and if the terribly constipated and stilted conversation between P’Phayu and him had been anything to go by, things were coming to head. Sky had been more nervous and clingier than usual. Rain had decided that if Phayu was not going to confess, he would seduce it out of him. The indicators were clear. They had a threesome. If their guilty as charged expressions had not given them away, then Pai’s favourite tie in the laundry basket in the room above the garage, which Rain had found just after P’Pai had left last week, was a dead give-away. Because there was no way in hell Pai would be here without Sky and no way the two of them had come here without Phayu.
Rain was excited at the possibility. He knew that he should be pissed! But he didn’t feel that way. Sky had been a part of his heart and soul for a long time. The only reason Rain had never moved in that direction was because he didn’t want to lose Sky. As far as Pai was concerned, if Sky and Phayu had similar natures, then Pai and he were very similar as well. Pai was also tactile and he made sure that he touched Sky and made him comfortable. Rain had initially been a little hesitant about that relationship. But as it progressed and as Rain watched, his Sky slowly became Pai’s. He didn’t begrudge Pai that, instead he welcomed Pai within his circle. Pai was his go to person whenever he wanted to show any kind of over the top affection. And he could feel his touches changing for Pai, just as he had felt for Sky, that slow slide into the next step of happiness, unlike the bolt of lightning he had felt with Phayu. But all three were equally important, and he had dreamt of being surrounded by all three of them. After Phayu confessed, he wondered if there was a way to turn his dreams into a possibility. Would there ever be a possibility of four?