Chapter Text
Tik tok; soon my collection will be a whole world closer to completion!”
He is using Sprx magnets to attempt to ‘collect’ Shugazoom city!
Maybe I’ll stuff the vocalizer up his ass, then tear his limbs off.
You may not get the opportunity to destroy him; the city needs us.
I am aware, my heart. But a monkey can dream.
“Hey, Scrapperton! That’s no collectible; that’s our home!”
Mandarin sighed heavily, helm fins dropping in exasperation. And there goes my element of surprise.
I am sorry, my love.
You are not the one running around the battlefield vocalizing like our howling cousins.
The boy’s Thunder Punch sent Scrapperton flying at impressive speeds directly into one of his enormous piles of detrise. The pile creaked and groaned, collapsing in on him. And yet he was up within moments, cannons folding from his back.
“I suppose that would have hurt- if I had been human!”
“He knows he has a human brain, right?” Otto merped.
“He’s a brain in a jar. How could he miss that?” Sprx replied, gesturing expressively with the grayish, pickled hands attached to his wrists.
“Your point, Otto?” Otto’s thinking was often odd and circular, but it almost always had a point.
“Well, going at those speeds he probably has a really nasty concussion now, so his aim is going to be off. And his balance.”
“But wouldn’t all the head soup in there stop it from moving around?”
“Nuh-uh. Everyone has head soup.”
“Huh.”
As if to prove Otto’s point the robot stumbled, almost face planting. Mandarin allowed a rictus grin to cross his muzzle, canines on full display.
“The boy and I will handle this mecha and his friends. The rest of you try to unplug or turn off the neutron generator.”
“He attached the machine to the neutron generator!?” Gibson wailed “That is highly unstable!”
“Yes, yes it is. Now go.”
“Aye, aye Boss.”
The robots were a momentary, amusing diversion. Mandarin’s powers had always been unusual. Most Power Primate abilities focused on the more benevolent emotions. While his abilities did respond to the need to protect, their greatest intensity came from blind, vicious rage.
Needless to say, the robots lasted only a little longer than a sneeze. Leaping across the flaming husks he landed next to the boy.
“How much would you say our friend here weighs?”
“I don’t know; probably a lot. He’s all metal.”
“But thin… perhaps about as much as four of us monkeys combined, yes?”
“You guys aren’t exactly heavy. I carry you all the time!”
“You have super strength.”
“Uh… okay, that just explained a whole lot of things that didn’t make sense before.”
“Congratulations. His weight may be unknown, but I do know exactly how much each of our weapons weighs.”
Chiro felt a static tingle run up his spine, Mandarin’s eyes turning a burning ruby.
Scarapperton let out a yelp, dangling helplessly in the air by the monkeys’ weapons. There was a bone-deep screech of tearing metal and the tentacles holding the weapons were torn from the base of the cannons, leaving behind trailing, sparking filaments.
“I believe these belong to our family, thank you.”
The weapons were lobbed toward the others. Each caught their own in midair, chittering in elation.
“You can not just take my collection!”
“Oh, but I can. And when I am done, I fully intend to take your life!”
“You can’t just kill him!”
“I am perfectly equipped to kill him. I have a literal sword.”
“Yeah, but we’re the good guys. The good guys don’t just kill people!”
“What about the Skeleton King?”
The boy paused thoughtfully “Well, the whole universe-wide genocide thing makes killing him pretty fair. I mean, there are lines.”
“But not this tin can?”
“Maybe he took losing his leg really hard, and needs some help.”
Mandarin sighed heavily “Your compassion is going to be the death of me, boy.”
“I hope not. I like you guys; all of you.”
“I-that’s- Sprx-77, cease your chortling and turn that machine off!”
“Working on it! Just got to borrow something!”
A yo-yo zipped past their heads, wrapping around Cogsmith. Sprx gave an almighty yank and the yo-yo unwound, sending the staff spiraling straight into the gravity machine’s mechanics. There was a great, sparking flash and the machine powered down, the image of Shugazoom on the monitor sinking back into the harbor.
The monkeys let out a ragged cheer, Sprx and Otto scrambling up the machine to grab the ruby monkey’s hands.
“Cogsmith, desist at once!”
The boy blinked blankly at the headless form in front of them, then turned to his leader. “Did his head just…?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to sleep after this?”
“Not for a day or two.”
“Cool. Thought it was just me- holy cow, we’re floating! That thing powered the artificial gravity!”
“Shit! Monkeys, make your way toward us!”
“Language, Mandarin! What if Rory were present?”
“The boy has heard worse! And the Social Worker doesn’t speak our advanced tongue!”
“And if he learns it in the future?”
“I’ve heard him say ‘fuck’ before, Gibby. The guy just cares that the kid is safe. That’s all.”
“His Aura is that of one who only wishes to aid others.” Antauri murmured, backstroking through the air like it was nothing.
“Ok, now you’re just showing off.”
“I am entitled to some vanity, now and again.”
Yes you are, my heart.
“Oh god, they’ve got those gooshy faces.” Nova groaned.
“Ugh.” Chiro shuddered, dog-paddling his way toward Scrapperton “Sir, we gotta go. That thing’s gonna overload-”
“Don’t touch me!”
“Desist pointing that thing at the boy, or I will crush your cranium like a soda can.” Mandarin hissed, eyes lighting with ruby fire. A nearby muffler flattened to a paper thin wisp.
Scrapperton gulped, as much as one could without a throat. “I’m starting a new collection, tick tock.” The head bobbed off into the floating detrise.
“Wait!-”
“Come on kid.” Sprx reached out, steering the boy toward the fist rocket “We gotta fly out of here.”