Archive of Our Own ^beta

Experimental Bond

She knocked softly on the side of the door as she peered into the laboratory. The room could be described as organized. At least it partially looked that way, as she found some logic in the disarray.

It showed the passion and determination of the people who created it. Besides, she was used to the sight and smell of fresh Kaiju organs. So, it was an environment she could get familiar with.

She noticed there was someone frantically walking from one side to the other of a wall with big chalkboard panels. He was scribbling down notations before wiping it away with his sleeve and adjusting them as he was deep in thought.

It almost felt wrong to disturb someone who was calculating or theorizing, but she received an order to report her arrival at the lab as soon as possible.

“Hello?” She tried to announce her presence as carefully as she could.

He gestured her away with a quick sweep of his cane and didn’t bother to turn around. “Come back later.” His tone sounded harsh.

She quietly closed the door behind her and sat down in the hallway next to the door. If she was going to wait, then she better did something useful. So, she took a book out of her bag and read, hoping that he would emerge from the lab before it was dinnertime.

After an hour, or maybe a few, the door opened, and the man walked out as he looked down on his watch in frustration. His hair appeared ruffled, as if he had repeatedly raked his fingers through it.

She couldn’t help but feel a bit charmed by his appearance. 

He huffed under his breath. “He should have been here by now.”

“He?” she couldn’t help but ask and was getting a sore ass from sitting on the ground for so long. 

He peered down to his right, next to his cane. The scornful look that he had shot her quickly changed when recognized the cover of the book she was reading. 

“Ehm, Dr. Gottlieb?” she guessed, because she had only seen his picture in his published research books. 

“Yes, that is me,” he answered quickly, and seemed to have his mind elsewhere already. Probably the reason he didn’t show any interest in who she was or why she was there. “If you don’t mind me asking, has anyone by the name of Dr. Thorne been here?”

Then it hit her who he meant with the specific pronoun, and it was obvious he excluded her to be a possibility.

“The Dr. Thorne?” she asked and wanted to sink through into the floor. They assured her that they would have informed her.

“Yes, Dr. Reginald Thorne.” He looked down at his watch once more and looked down the hall.

Her smile fell as she realized he expected her dad to arrive. Initially, he was supposed to go to the Shatterdome in Hong Kong, but a last-minute adjustment was made. 

It became clear that she didn't have much say in the decision when they changed it into an order, instead of the original request. Ever since Category III Knifehead had recently appeared and the chances of winning this war weren't as favorable as thought. 

“Then I can assume you haven’t been informed?” 

He suddenly looked at her as if she was a proper person.

“Informed about what?”

She hated to be the one to tell them that the infamous neuroscience gave the position to his daughter.  

“Well, Dr. Thorne suddenly had fallen ill,” she awkwardly stood up and held the book close to her chest, “I have been sent instead.” She stretched her hand to offer a handshake. “Dr. Cordelia Thorne.” 

His face clearly showed his irritation as he heard the information, but adjusted as she introduced herself. He took her hand briefly, after switching the cane to his other hand. There were mixed expressions flashing over his face before he settled on a friendly one. “Glad to have you on board, Dr. Thorne.” He turned back around to the lab.

“I will show your desk, and I hope you are used to chaos in the lab,” he tried to joke, as he leaned on the wooden cane as he walked. 

“Are you sure?” she asked quietly, more to herself, but watched him turn in response. “My fath- Dr. Thorne is a remarkable neuroscientist, and I would fully understand you would like to wait until he has recovered.”

He gave her a kind smile, shaking his head as he approached his desk. The papers were organized in different staples. “No, I must apologize for my confusion, and perhaps ignorance, Dr. Thorne. It has been a few rough days, that’s all.”

Cordelia nodded and thought about how she had to study the horrible event to the details, as she flew with the plane. Her father had advised her that it was better to know too much, then too little. Yet, the pictures she had seen of the victims were things she didn’t want to know a lot about. 

"It's quite alright, Dr. Gottlieb. I understand that I am not who you had hoped for in this time of need, but I will not disappoint you. I learned from one of the best,” she smiled, and took a moment to peer over the laboratory.

It was clear two people inhabited it. Dr. Gottlieb’s side was organized, or more systemized in a certain way. While the other side, well, it was a used space for sure. A normal citizen would think it was a horrible butcher or crazy madman territory. The tanks, bottles and small vials, all contained something of a Kaiju. Even one enormous tooth hung in the wall. It looked like one of the smallest canines of the monster’s teeth.

“If he had sent you personally, then I have no doubt you would do great work here at the PPDC. “He had his back turned to her as he spoke, while sorting the papers. 

She felt herself get shy by the praise and tried to find something to focus on.

“Besides, I have read a few theories of yours on the neural network and instinctual drives,” he continued, “and I must say you weren’t that far off.”

She hadn’t had the chance to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks as he turned back to her.

“It truly impressed me.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you, Dr. Gottlieb,” she said sheepishly and had set her attention on the chalk on his coat. “I would like to say likewise, but that would be an understatement.” She felt much better with the recognition she had gotten from the expert, even if it felt a bit exaggerated.

“Hermann,” he said with a kind voice.

“Hm?” Her eyes met his in confusion, and had forgotten she was still holding the book. Though in a much tighter embrace.

“Hermann is fine,” he told her. “It would be weird to ask that of you when we will be working so much together.”

If she had a nickel for every time her heart skipped a beat by his words, she would have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice in such a short time.

“Then, I must insist the sam-“

“And you told me to stop bringing women to the lab?” a new voice joined them as he strode into the room. 

She recognized him immediately, and noticed he looked more roughed up since she last saw him in person. It must have been ten years, at least, when she had visited one of his lectures. Her dad had told her it was good to broaden one's mind, and perhaps even find new interests. Though, it actually only bored her to death when he started talking about terms she hadn’t heard before.

“Dr. Geiszler,” she greeted, as she looked at Hermann for assistance in the misunderstanding the man seemed to have interpreted.

“At least, someone has manners,” the newcomer joked as he glared at his colleague, while he approached them. “Could have introduced me to this beautiful lady.” He pushed up the rolled sleeves, and it revealed the colorful sleeves tattooed on his arms.

She almost chuckled out of nervousness as she heard his words. This was definitely not the way she had planned to introduce herself to her new colleagues, but alas, it was a good icebreaker.

Hermann tried to interrupt him, but was ignored.

“And what has lured you into this lab?” He stretched his hand.

“A good paycheck, Dr. Geiszler,” she chimed in while grabbing his hand before he could introduce himself. 

The confusion that crossed his face was amusing enough to see, and Hermann’s stifled laugh lifted the awkward silence. 

“This is Dr. Cordelia Thorne,” Hermann introduced her, the tone sounding somewhat smug as he continued, “Dr. Reginald Thorne had sent her in his stead due to sudden illness.”

Dr. Geiszler cleared his throat and took a moment to gather himself and clearly fought the urge to mock back his colleague. “Excuse me for my inappropriate response, Dr. Thorne.” He scratched the back of his neck as he spoke.

She felt bad for chuckling at his apology and shook her head. “No, there is no need for that. I am at fault, too, for playing around with your reaction. Though it may boast teamwork, don’t you think Dr. Gott- Hermann?” 

“You can call me Dr. Newton then too,” he dared a wink as he misunderstood her words. “If we are going to see each other each day.” He sounded serious for a moment, but the glint in his eyes gave it away.

“That would be an honor,” she joked, and figured she said the right thing by the way he smiled back.

The two of them realized they were still holding each other's hands and let go with a slight laugh.

“Ugh, please don’t. He will boast about it for a month, at least.” Hermann groaned as he tapped a glass tank with his cane, watching the organ stir.

She would lie if she said it wasn’t fascinating to see it move. It looked better preserved than the quality she had seen before.

“Exaggeration, much.”

“Not if you remind me every damn minute.”

“Call me Cordelia in return,” she offered a bit too late, and couldn’t help but grin at their interaction. “Both of you, of course.” 

She was going to adjust to the new environment and workplace just fine.

It didn't take long before she had made herself comfortable in the lab and to its science inhabitants. She had set up a corner, exclusively to her, as the other two's workplaces overlapped too much to make any sense sometimes.

She also had lost too many valuable research papers that mixed with Newton’s work. Well, it was better than the glass pots that were being shoved under her desk by him, as if it was a storage place. Or when Hermann used her desk as a coffee table, as he convinced her that her space was less of a safety hazard than his. Though, he properly meant that his work was not worth sacrificing some coffee spills over.

If she was asked if she would hate or accept them first, she would honestly not know. Because they had helped her set up her corner and promised not to litter her territory. 

Maybe also because she overwhelmed them with questions when they were in the canteen, and they almost answered every single one in great detail.

The two said gentlemen strode into the lab, heavily discussing the chance of the Kanji targeting other major cities as well, as they noticed her standing in at her desk in the dimly lit laboratory.

“When did you sleep?” Newton asked as he turned on the lights.

She only gave them a scoff as she squinted her eyes against the bright white light.

“Cordelia,” Hermann began and walked to her. “Take a break, hm?”

“Shut it,” she hissed at them and leaned further over her desk. “I'm very close to figuring this out,” she added under her breath. “I just know it.”

They fell silent, as they hadn't seen her go that crazy yet since she joined the team. Sure, she worked longer recently and complained when dragged to the canteen, but this was different. 

Her desk was littered with cans of energy, cups of coffee, and a few empty cartons of Chinese food on the ground.

She sighed as the silence was restored in the lab. Though she felt their stares dig into her back. She glared over her shoulder and noticed they had stepped closer, their eyes glued to the digital screen.

“Didn’t you two go to bed?” she asked, but didn’t really want to know the answer. 

“It’s morning,” Hermann informed her.

She looked at their clothes and saw they wore different shirts and pants under their coats. “Oh.” She only said, before continuing the sentence she had started in her logbook.

“68% match.” Newton muttered as he observed the DNA patterns woven into each other on the screen.

“Of what?” Hermann asked and dared to look closer and even pick up a paper.

“Neurological brainwaves, of course,” she couldn't help but be proud of her work. “It's the highest rating so far.”

She knew it would be impossible to keep everything a secret. So, it was best to tell them enough that it would keep their minds busy.

Now they had to take a closer peek and looked over the desk to see two brains projected on the touchscreen. It referred to subject 00, picturing a Kaiju brain, and compared to subject 31, picturing a human brain.

“Kaiju to human?!” Newton choked on his coffee. 

“Ey, watch it!” she warned him. “These are my adjusted calculations.” She grabbed the pile of scribbles away from where the coffee could spill.

“Cordelia, is this even approved?” Herman asked and took more papers as he looked over them. 

She moved her head from side to side, giving a vague shrug. “It is.”

“But how do you explain this?” Hermann asked sternly and showed her a research paper where it mentioned the human subjects. 

“It was just a scan,” she yawned, and stretched out her aching muscles. “Nothing problematic.”

“This is not even the brain we obtained. It looks like A grade material! How did you even get this?” Newton enthusiastically asked, and wasn’t bothered by where she got it from.

“An acquaintance of mine,” she told them truthfully. “He still had to repay a favor.”

“Is this a side project?” Hermann persisted with the most important questions and was clearly irritated that his colleague didn’t care. 

She hummed and showed another slide of details she had gathered, hoping it would keep him satisfied for now. She was going to tell them everything, when she had the result she was hoping for.

The slide showed how each human brain resulted in different percentages, without a proper explanation of why. There was no pattern or analytic that brought reason to the results.

“The compatibility of our brains with theirs is part of your research?” Hermann asked, while Newton was fascinated by the Kaiju brain she had scanned.

“The comparison,” she corrected him, “Their neurological pathways aren't that different from ours as we had thought. Yes, it works a bit differently, and the results are not stable, but it looks promising.” She looked him in the eyes. “I can work with that.”

He searched for something in her gaze, but nodded as he seemed convinced. “Well, if you can’t,” he reached for something on her face, “we can help you out.”

She froze as his fingers grazed her cheek and watched him remove a rice grain. With a gulp, she nodded, and mentally cursed herself for not having enough energy to be as unaffected.

“So you mean that all this,” Newton gestured over her screen after he tried to identify to which Kaiju it belonged to, “is to find overlapping familiarities in neural networks?”

She now turned more quiet as she held in a yawn, “Well, yes. In short, what instinct or emotion is triggered the same way.”

She yawned either way and began collecting the garbage, while the other scientists chewed over her words.

“I probably won’t get many interesting results,” she babbled on, suddenly feeling tired. “But I got a feeling, you know?”

“Cordelia.” A hand was put on her shoulder.

“Hm?” She looked behind her and saw it was Newton.

“We don’t doubt you. It's just interesting to see what our novice is up to.”

She wanted to laugh at his words, but saw Hermann nodded as she looked over his shoulder. They were serious. It was as if they actually agreed on something, and it was her. Which made her suspicious, but also feel appreciated in some weird kind of way.

“And to be certain you get enough sleep.” Hermann added. “Before you stumble over a cable and ruin something.”

She let another yawn slip and accepted the drowsiness falling over her mind. “Yeah, yeah, I am going to bed.”

“As if you won’t fall asleep on the first couch you come across,” Newton chuckled, and then took her arm. “I will tell you a secret, just because I am fascinated by the A grade brain.”

“What do you mean?”

He answered with a smile.

“Eh,” she looked at Hermann while she was pulled along, “What does he mean? Should I be concerned?”

“With him always,” he joked, and followed them.

“Normally, I like a secret, but I don’t know about this one,” she said honestly.

“You will like it.”

“It’s not much of a secret.”

They stopped by the bookcase. It was surrounded by piles of books that weren’t able to fit on the overfilled shelves.

“I don’t need a book to guide me to my room,” she joked, but it fell flat as she watched him reach for one called ‘The Magic of Sleep Thinking’. “You are joking, right?”

As he pulled onto it, a click was released, and the bookcase slid to the side. It revealed a sleeping quarter containing two build in bunk beds on the side of the walls and a door. There was also a small kitchen with a mini fridge.

“And you never told me because?!”

They laughed a moment at her shocked reaction. 

“It’s originally a panic room, but we don’t really use it,” Hermann shrugged, “It’s too claustrophobic for me and he can’t sleep without his plush-“

“Ahem!” Newton interrupted, “Either way, it can come in handy when you have more moments like this. To spare you the distance.”

“And behind that door,” Hermann pointed to it with his cane, “is a bathroom.”

“With a shower?” she asked with excitement in her tone.

“A bath,” Newton answered.

“Oh, I missed a good bath,” she sighed and stepped into the room. “My chamber only has a stupid tiny shower, and the pipes make this stupid sound whenever the heat is turned on, and for whatever reason,” she took a breath and noticed she had rambled. “Never mind that. Thank you.”

“Not a problem,” they said in unison, before frowning at each other and looking away with disgust. 

“How do I get out?”

“You pull the handle here,” Newton explained. 

She nodded and thanked them again, before she tugged onto the handle of the back of the bookcase to slide it back into place.

“Goodnight,” she grinned, and clicked it shut.

Faintly, but clear enough to catch the words, she heard them repeat her words.

A few months passed, and the Kaiju climbing out of the breach were stronger and more strategized than before. While they were working overtime to aid the Defense Corps Rangers, the men didn’t notice her secret travels to the town after nightfall.

“What the fuck?” she stared at the statistics in front of her and then glanced at the alien brain in the tank at her side. 

There was a high match. 

A match with hers. 

“Any luck, yet?” a voice behind her grumbled. 

“I don't know if I should find it luck, Hannibal,” she said truthfully.

He stepped into the storage room, eying the glass pots as if to check it was all still there, before he took the tablet from her hands, “94,7 percent, huh?” He glanced at her. 

She had theories about what she could accomplish with this kind of information, but this was just the beginning. This was the start of something huge. If she could get this brain to the lab, it would be even better, but this could work.

“Good, then I can finally sell this.” He gave the big tank a rough pat as the golden rings around his fingers clanked against the glass. The brain didn’t even budge at the tap.

“What?!” she exclaimed, spreading her arms as if he was going to take it right away. “No, no, no. I am not done yet.” 

She tried to come with a good reason to extend the deadline, but couldn’t come up with anything. Her mind was racing with so many possibilities that were going down the drain.

She hadn’t told him what she was actually planning to do with the brain, and knew she would be kicked out if he even had the slightest idea. 

“Hun, six months are long due. You agreed to the terms,” he told her with a coy smile. “I hadn't torn it away from you because I like the business we have, yeah? I want to keep it that way, but I need the money.” 

She scoffed at his golden teeth. “Just one more week,” she pleaded. “For our good business relationship in the past years.”

He squinted his eyes as he scratched his beard. “24 hours.” He gave back the tablet and walked out of the room. 

“Thank you, Hannibal. Really.”

He turned and flashed her one of his commercial fake smiles. “Would have agreed if you didn't say the word business. You're lucky. You are nice to look at.”

She grinned for a moment, knowing how he was by now, but it faltered as the percentage on the screen came back into her mind. She didn’t have the right equipment, nor the time to test her theory, and a feeling of dread fell over her.

Not only that, but she wanted this to work, to help them fight against the Kaiju.

So, as the stubborn scientist she was, she kept gathering information, in the hope it could be worth something. Maybe not now, but perhaps in the future.

With a tab on the table, she initiated the last brain scan she was going to get of herself and the brain, in the hope of better results, somehow. While waiting, the room plunged into complete darkness, and only the tanks and glass pots lit up because of its bioluminescence.

The hum of electronic devices and appliances was gone and replaced by an unsettling quiet. People working on the other side of the door groaned in annoyance, while Hannibal's voice boomed that it was just the government's tactic to taunt him.

She laid her forehead against the cold glass, and stared at the illuminated, thick liquid embracing the brain.

“Will I even figure you out?” she whispered against it, watching her breath fog up the barrier between them.

As she watched the glass clear up, the electricity surged back to life. 

She gave her tablet a soft tap, in the hope it had done no damage to the files stored on it, “Come on, I need you to work for m-Ahg!”

A sharp, electric shock jolted through her body, causing her muscles and nerves to twitch violently from the intense voltage. Bent over her chair, she whimpered in pain, the surging electricity slowly leaving her body.

A loud curse escaped her lips as she hastily ripped off the wires and patches covering her body, their burn leaving a stinging sensation. 

When she thought she had experienced the worst, a piercing headache slowly penetrated her skull and overwhelmed her senses. The lamps were too bright, the smell of the Kaiju organs, as was the aftertaste of blood in her mouth.

It was making her quicken her breathing and began to hyperventilate.

Hastily, she removed her headset and stuffed it, along with all her other equipment, into a bag.

Without sparing a glance at her failed project, she hastily exited the room, passing by the workers without offering the businessman a proper goodbye. A profound sense of sickness gripped her, and an urgent need to reach the lab consumed her. 

Something was undeniably wrong.

“Cordelia?!” 

The voice sounded far away.

“What happened?”

She suddenly felt a hand laid on her forehead as she groaned against the icy touch. It felt so soothing against her thumping headache.

“Cordelia, do you hear me?”

It was Hermann.

“I just need to lay down,” she panted and leaned against the wall, feeling her legs give out.

“You're burning up,” he noted, “What did you do?”

She gave a weak smile, trying to look at him, but it was too bright. “I’m fine.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“I’m fine,” she repeated and tried to focus on his face, but the lights were blinding her.

“What did you do?”

“I don’t know, but it was-” She took a sharp breath as a strange feeling pierced her. “-scary.” She slid down to the floor to hug her trembling legs as she remembered. 

She heard him frantically walk away with his cane, as it tapped over the floor. “I need to inform Newton. Stay there.”

With a soft hum, she nodded and laid her hands over her forehead to wish the pain away.

Whenever she thought about what had happened, she felt her mind push it away. It was as if she was looking at a void, while knowing there was something. 

“Come to the lab. Now. Code purple. Cordelia,” he told Newton on the phone. “Yes, the code purple.” He hung up and quickly went back to her. 

“Cordelia?”

“I like purple,” she told him absentmindedly while rubbing her fingertips against each other. It felt like nothing, as if she touched air.

“Look at me, Cordelia.”

His hands were laid on her shoulders.

“It's too bright,” she softly shook her head, and tried to cover her eyes.

His hand firmly grabbed her by her jaw and gave a persisted yank. “I need to check your eyes.”

“As if you don't know my eye color already,” she joked and tried to hide away, but she was too nauseous to do anything reckless.

“Lia, just for a second.”

The nickname caught her off-guard, and she looked at him in surprise. She could see his silhouette.

He pulled her lower eyelids down, checking them momentarily. His fingers on her jaw tightened for a moment. 

The silence told her enough.

“It's not that bad.” She cracked a forced smile and felt it tear away from her lips.

He only exhaled deeply and continued to check her pulse on her neck with his other hand, while still holding her chin in place.

“It's too fast,” he mentally noted to himself. “Say ah .”

“Aaah…” She did as she was told and froze as two fingers pressed down her tongue. Her attention was stuck on his focused brown eyes. 

“You bit on your tongue quite hard,” he said in mono-tone, and pushed her tongue to the side and then up. "But looks not extremely damaged."

Her heartbeat quickened, and he must have noticed as he locked eye contact.

He cleared his throat, and quickly removed his hands from her and raised them as if he didn't know what to do with them. 

She fell forward as she couldn’t lean against his hand anymore, and her head hit his shoulder. 

For a moment, it felt nice.

Her breathing slowed down as she followed his, though his heartbeat went crazy.

He smelled like laundry softener, chalk, and of the choco coffee he drinks each morning. 

“Is she okay!?!” Newton shouted as he slammed the door behind him.

She flinched at the loud noise and felt Hermann cover her ears as she leaned more towards him to shield herself from the overwhelming senses.

“I think she drifted with a Kaiju.”

“No, I didn't,” she said with gritting teeth as another headache resurfaced while Newton raised his voice as he asked question after question.

“Your eyes are bloodshot.”

“I didn't drift,” she forced herself to say and took a deep breath, calming down by the scent coming off of Hermann. It let her stay grounded.

She heard a bag being zipped opened. It had to be hers.

“It wouldn't be enough to drift,” Newton concluded, but it felt as if he had more to say.

“However?” Hermann asked impatiently and checked her pulse once more on her neck.

She unconsciously shuddered at his touch.

“Cordelia, did you scan your brain while connected to the Kaiju's?” Newton asked.

She stirred and realized that she had. All the other scans were separate, but hers was indirectly connected to the tank.

“The power outage,” she groaned, and an even worse headache pushed through as she remembered.

“That explains the fried wires.”

Hermann's hand traveled from the side of her neck to the back and pushed her hair away. The air grazed the burned skin in her neck from the patches that she had ripped off.

She carefully looked over his shoulder and squinted against the light to see Newton looking at the damaged tablet.

“The program probably went haywire and started a whole different procedure. Maybe I can find out what it was.”

With a sigh, she tried to comprehend what the situation meant for her wellbeing. It didn’t seem to lessen. If anything, it became worse in different ways.

“Can you stand?” Hermann said softly into her ear.

Her skin shivered under his voice before she nodded weakly.

His arms went under hers, and she tried to push herself up. However, her legs gave up before she could properly stand.

“Newton,” Hermann huffed as he did his best to hoist her up. “Need some help.”

Two arms were swept around her, and she was lifted in one go. She had her arms draped over Newton’s shoulders and was held in bridal style close to his body.

“Be careful,” Hermann warned.

“Be careful,” Newton mocked back in a harsh whisper.

She attempted a chuckle and took a deep breath as the world began to spin. A different kind of odor met her nose and knew it belonged to Newton. A strong smell of sweat was lingering around him, with a sweet fragrance of hair gel and mint covering the faint coffee.

With another breath, she laid her head closer into the crook of his shoulder and softly drifted away. Her muscles relaxed, and she felt herself slip away as she stopped struggling against the exhaustion.

There were a few times when she had a hangover, clutching the toilet as she emptied her stomach while her whole body screamed for rest. However, even at those moments, she felt better when she was done.

Now, she only felt worse, if not more weakened and sick, than before. 

She felt less herself as time went on.

As if she had lost something important as she flushed the toilet.

She cleaned her mouth as she avoided her empty reflection in the mirror, and knew she had to face reality. Turning around in the bunker bed could only solve so much, and sleep was nowhere to be found. 

All night she had laid on a mattress of self-pity, under a blanket of worries and embracing someone that she did not recognize as she squeezed her arms tighter around her knees. 

All the while, the darkness of the sleeping quarters awaited her next move.

It was as if she was listening to the thoughts of another being. Watching the actions being carried out by a stranger. She was on the backseat, and all she could do was ask if they were close to the destination.

The bookcase was slowly pushed aside from the other side and pulled her out of her mind prison.

“Cordelia?!”

“Is something wrong?”

Hermann and Newton were both trying to get into the room while pushing the other to the side.

A faint smile stretched on her face until it fell away only a second later. “I'm fine.” Her voice was strained. She wondered if she had screamed in her brief moment of sleep and the nightmares had taken their territory.

They stood in the middle of the room, clearly taken aback by something, as they gaped and stuttered broken words.

She gave a glance to the mirror and noticed that she had apparently dunked her head under the tap, or attempted to. 

The water was dripping down her shirt, and she watched it trail down with some interest. The coldness felt nice as it cooled down her skin. It passed her underwear, and then down her legs to her bare feet.

“Sorry,” she said as she looked over their turned backs. “Didn't notice.” She calmly walked over to her bed to grab her pants, and they rotated away by the sound of her footsteps over the tile floor.

She chuckled at their timid breathing, and it seemed to start them up again.

“Your heartbeat went up, and we-”

“I thought you were disoriented again.”

She looked over her body as she walked around them, as she noticed the bracelet around her wrist, “huh.”

“It’s an old gadget used on the pilots,” Newton explained enthusiastically, and had bound back from his embarrassment state.

Hermann, however, didn't seem to be able to look at her, as he suddenly found the floor mighty interesting.

“Disoriented?”

Newton seemed to not have expected the answer and shook his head, and was in desperate need of getting help from his colleague. “Just a bit confused about what was going on, and such. Nothing major.”

She hummed and nodded. That would make sense.

“How are you feeling?” Hermann asked, his eyes stuck now on her bracelet.

“I feel like death.”

They looked up at her in shock, and before she could say anything, she was dragged out of the room.

“I am joking,” she strained her voice as she had to intervene in their heavy discussion of crazy theories. However, instead of shouting at each other, they were secretly whispering.

“Guys, I am right here.”

They didn’t let go as she was pushed into a chair and connected to wires. 

“Stop it,” she tore it off, only to get a headset resembling her fried one. “I don’t want this.”

It didn’t matter what she said, because they just went on and ignored her.

As if she didn’t have any say in any of it.

Almost as if she was an experiment.

She jumped from the chair and flung everything that touched her as far away as she could.

“STOP IT!” she shouted, and it echoed off the wall in the suddenly silent room. The headache suddenly throbbed against her skin, making her grit her teeth in agitation.

Moments later, the bracelet beeped and flashed red, and she struggled to get it off as soon as possible.

Herman stepped to her first, “Cordelia, don’t-”

“No!” she snapped at them and increased the distance between them as she stepped backwards to the door. “ I am fine .” It sounded as if she had chewed on those words ever since she had woken, and maybe she did.

They wanted to respond, but she continued with a more controlled voice, “Now I am going to my room and sleep, because I want to.” She could take a couple of steps and felt the floor dance under her feet.

“We only need to make a few tests,” Newton explained to her with a cautious tone. “Just to make sure the exposure didn’t do anything to you, okay?”

She couldn’t deny that she was unsure about her state, but something inside of her urged her on. A voice- No, a feeling, tugging her to go to her room and rest.

“We only want to help you,” Hermann carefully added.

“I am-” fine. “I am…” The words caught in her throat and she clenched her hands. Her back met the door and realized she almost wanted to walk back to them. 

“Cordelia, please.”

“This is something to be concerned about.”

They were concerned, yes. Concerned, she probably would go crazy.

She scoffed at their words while opening the door as she stepped out. 

“I am not your freaky experiment.” 

A couple of weeks passed, and she would have locked herself away from the outside world if she wasn’t needed for her expertise in the never-ending war.

After each meeting or attack, she had to push her fellow scientists away whenever they attempted to exchange minimal civil conversation. 

This kept going, despite her clear words, or rather lack of it, but they kept persisting as carefully as they could. It was as if they were purposely trying to test her limit. 

Luckily, they left her alone whenever she walked away, and perhaps did solely because of the bracelet still attached around her wrist.

She had forgotten to take it off and throw it against a wall when she retreated to her room. There she laid crying, cradling and screaming into her pillow, until she fell asleep in exhaustion for a short moment and did it all over again.

The guilt of making such a stupid mistake, and then scolding them as if they had done it, was nagging her so much that she kept wearing the bracelet. It was almost a token of understanding, in some twisted way. 

It wasn’t until a week later until she properly got back to work and acted as nothing had happened. Well, if ignoring her colleagues was the regular routine, then she did well. 

They were understanding enough to have played her absence off as a rough fever, and she was grateful for that.

However, in return, they immediately non-discreetly included her in discussions, asking her opinion whenever they had a disagreement. Which was often, if not at every subject. She would merely shrug and hum or turn up Newton’s speaker, that blasted heavy metal music to drown out their voices.

She absentmindedly pricked into the food on the tray in front of her as she thought about the most recent attack.

A Kaiju had attacked a new city, and had taken a whole different direction then calculated, while also climbing out of the Breach eight weeks too soon. They were not prepared in the slightest, and the civilians were starting to doubt them. Well, with how strict the rationing was becoming, she would protest too.

A deep sigh left her before she forced herself to take a bite. It was the first time she sat down in the canteen since what had happened and felt strange being watched as she ate.

She glanced up into the room and watched the different groups merge. It didn’t matter if they were in engineering, construction, health, resources, pilots or, in her case, scientists. Everyone ate and drank the same things, sitting at the same table under one big roof. 

“The victim count is relatively low,” Newton’s voice went around her, and he joined her on her left.

She blinked away from the television screen she apparently was looking at and took in his words.

“One pilot is in critical condition, though,” Hermann joined as the bench sank in on her right.

Newton leaned forward, as the tattoos peeked from under his sleeves, while lowering his voice as if sharing a secret. “It’s the first official Category IV Kaiju.”

She shifted on the spot, trying her best not to respond, as this information was new to her. They had classified it as a level three threat at first sight. Though when she summed up all the casualties and reviewed the battle in her head, it did make sense. They just all hoped that the latest upgrade of the monsters was the last.

She took a bite of her food, her thoughts far away, but was brought back by their voices.

Much to her surprise, she joined them. “I think the main cable is too inconsistent with the pain simulation.”

They turned on the bench, looking like a deer in headlights as they stared at her in silence.

After a pause, she finally addressed the issue at hand. “Guys, I am fine.” The exact same words explaining her state of mind weeks prior.

“It’s like it never happened,” she continued and finished the glass of water, while forcing herself not to respond to their breathing tickling onto her neck. 

“You sure?”

“Mhm,” she mumbled as she chewed down a bite, and knew she had to get away before they saw this as a chance to attack her with questions. She stood up from the bench, only to get a hand on each shoulder that pushed her back down.

“What?!” she snapped at them in a whisper and didn’t know who to stare down at more.

They both pointed at her tray simultaneously.

She looked down with a dramatic sigh and stopped when she noticed the different meat and fish on the tray. All had one or two bites taken from it before she had moved onto the next.

She froze momentarily, before smiling sheepishly to cover up the reaction. “Didn’t pay attention to what I grabbed, to be honest.”

It didn’t convince them one bit, because when she fled from their confrontation, they followed her closely in an awkward jog to not attract attention from other people.

They were bombarding her with questions they had on their minds for weeks, and she would each time turn a corner as an answer.

She stood in front of her door and cursed as the key fell on the ground. This made her lose her momentum. 

“Tell us what is wrong!” Newton insisted and ignored the curious stares of the people that passed the hallway.

The key almost slipped again from her trembling hands again as Newton stepped closer and she tried to block him out as she turned her back on him.

“Cordelia, we are trying to say is,” Hermann said out of breath as he caught up with his limb, “we are here for you if you need us, or just someone to listen to.”

She faked a laugh, regretting it the second it left her mouth, and cleared her throat. “Thank you, but I’m working through it on my own and don’t want to be seen as an experiment.” She unlocked her door and stepped in. “Thanks for the concerns.”

They stared at her, or actually past her.

“What?” she said once more, before she followed their line of sight and into her room.

The furniture was shoved to the corner, sheltering the bed. Blankets, clothes, and even what looked like a sail, probably stolen from the cargo department, draped over it. 

It resembled a nest.

She didn’t know what to say either, as it was a shock to her as well. She had no memory of that ever happening, nor seen her room in this state.

“Why don’t we do some tests, hm?” Newton suggested after a tense moment of silence.

“I couldn’t bring your tablet back to life,” Newton told her with an apologetic smile. “So, can you tell us what happened?”

“And where were you?” Hermann added, “You looked like you had run for miles.”

She thought about how she was going to tell them as much as possible by mentioning less than that. She watched their expressions with a mix of concern and scientific curiosity as she sat in an office chair, while they connected patches to her skin.

“I, ehm, was by that acquaintance of mine, and he,” she sighed as she now made their guess easier to whom it could be. “He had that brain in possession for a while.”

She told them what had happened, leaving out the unnecessary details of her environment, and waited in anticipation as they were brainstorming in silence.

“So, if I get this right,” Hermann began, “The percentage indicates how the brain networks matched with their overlapping similarities.” 

She nodded.

“What exactly overlapped?” Newton questioned as he kneeled down by her arm to inject a needle.

“I did not have enough time to find out.” She closed her eyes for a moment as she felt the cold metal slide under her skin. “Though I can make a few guesses.”

“Do you have any memories that aren’t yours?” Hermann was connecting the wires to a monitor. 

“No, I told you, I didn’t drift.”

“No,” Newton agreed, “The equipment wouldn’t have been able to handle that.”

She glanced between the variation of machines and monitors around her. “I thought you told me it were just a few simple tests,” her voice sounded unsure and reminded her of the night it all went wrong.

“Never said they were simple.” He grinned and connected a cable with the bracelet around her wrist. “Have you had more moments of unawareness?” 

She let her tongue move over the front of her teeth as she thought. Her anti-vegan diet and sleeping habits were such instances. However, it wasn’t brought to her attention until they pointed it out.

“I think I am an unreliable source.” 

These words and realization made her suddenly feel small and weak. She had been avoiding them, as she thought they were making a big deal out of nothing. Though, perhaps it was a big deal.

She looked at Hermann, who carefully put a headset on her and made eye contact. As he attached the electrodes to her temples, Cordelia couldn't shake the unease settling in her stomach. Her voice was quiet and sounded to the point of breaking into tears. “Am I going crazy?”

He scoffed for a moment as he shrugged, “Most people find us crazy already, and besides, we all know the Kajiu groupie is the craziest one.” 

Newton silently mocked the words back to him as Hermann turned his back to them.

She felt a bit better, but the feeling still nagged onto her. “What do you guys think is going on?”

“Based on what we have,” Hermann walked to the biggest monitor, “I think you had a higher dose of voltage than thought and your brain had a bit of a shock.” 

Newton opened his mouth, but closed it again as he met her curious gaze before suddenly redirecting his attention to the cables he had checked once more. “Yes, I think so too.”

She wanted to ask Newton what was wrong, but the headset made a short loud noise, which made she covered her ears as a reaction.

“Ah, sorry,” Hermann apologized, “It will monitor your brain activity while we run some tests.” He seemed absorbed in analyzing the readings on the screen before him. “It looks normal.”

Cordelia closed her eyes, trying to block out the memories of the failed experiment. The hum of machines filled the room as Newton and Hermann finished the preparations.

Hermann spoke up, his voice steady. “Any headaches, nausea, or dizziness since the incident?”

She hesitated before replying, “Not consistently, no.”

Newton jotted down notes, exchanging a quick glance with Hermann. “We might want to run a full neural scan, just to be thorough,” he suggested and grabbed a few extra patches and kneeled down by her again.

“Gentlemen, and lady.”

They froze at the sound of the voice by the door.

It was Marshall Pentecost.

“You didn’t lock the door?” she hissed at Newton as she watched the man walk to them. He shot her a glare before he stood up.

“Sir.” they greeted in unison with a stern nod.

She tried to climb out of the chair but stopped when Pentecost shook his head.

“Testing something new?” He curiously looked over the machines and stood beside Hermann on the screen. 

The scientists tried not to jump into panic mode, and also prevent from saying different things at the same time. 

“Ah yes,” she forced herself to smile. “I wanted to see if the pilots’ neurological stability system could perhaps bring better results with a few adjustments.”

There was some truth in it.

“Hm,” the marshal nodded in thought, “interesting take, and I expect nothing less from Dr. Reginald’s daughter.” 

Her colleagues seemed to be relieved with the answer and nodded along.

“Yes, indeed. We were also quite invested with the idea,” Hermann agreed, his words sounding choppier than normal.

“Good to hear,” Pentecost nodded before he laid his hand on Hermann’s shoulder. “Can you miss one scientist?” he joked, “There is a strategic plan in the works I need your opinion on.”

“Of course, sir.” Hermann uncomfortably glanced at the hand on his shoulder before looking at his scientists. “You can continue without me.”

They nodded in unison and watched them walk away.

“Good luck! I’m interested in the results,” Pentecost let them know and closed the door behind them.

Newton quickly ran to the door to lock it by inserting the code into the digital padlock.

She deeply sighed and leaned back into the chair and let her hands run over her face, while trying not to touch the patches. “Fucking hell.”

They could have been busted. 

She could have been fired.

“Do you remember anything from that morning?”

“Hm?” she looked between her fingers to see Newton crouched by her again and waiting for her to give her hands. “When I walked into the lab?”

He gulped and nodded.

She gave him a hand and watched him attach small patches and wires to it. “I remember Hermann checking on me, then calling you. You came running in and brought me to the sleeping quarters.” She summed up and gestured with her head to the bookcase.

Though she didn’t mention the part of her consciously breathing in his scent.

“And after that?” He touched her in a way as if she was made of glass.

“When I slept?” she asked and studied the tattoos on his arm.

He shook his head as he stared at the other hand. “No, I mean, before you fell asleep.”

She switched hands and thought about what he could mean. 

He took her hand and did the same procedure.

“You mentioned something about me being disoriented,” she recalled when she had woken up and stood in the bathroom. “Did I do something?”

He stirred and rapidly let go of her hand before standing up. “No, never mind.”

“Newt.” She took his wrist as he tried to walk away. “What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember.” He almost tugged himself free, but she pulled back, and he stumbled over her. His hands grabbed onto the armrests as he leaned over her figure in surprise.

She grabbed onto the tie around his neck and pulled him closer. It didn’t matter how this ignored her personal space. She wanted to know what was going on in her head, and he knew something. 

“Cordelia,” he breathed and stared at her in shock.

“If you are withholding anything related to this ,” she hissed in impatience. “Then it does matter.”

He gulped again and now glanced over her lips as he tried to stand up.

She looped the tie around her hand and tugged again. 

He stumbled closer to her, and his legs were now trapping hers in between. His face was inches from hers and felt her quickened breath on his throat.

“Look at me,” she ordered and watched him glance down. “Tell me what happened.”

“We,” he croaked, “oh god, please, well, we kissed. You kissed me, actually, and then again. I laid you down, but you wouldn’t let go and, well, you kept going and…” he rambled on and looked down on her lips as he whispered, “I didn’t know at that moment you weren't you.”

She blinked a few times as strangely enough; she remembered how it felt. How his lips brushed hers, biting onto his lower lip and his hands roaming over her body. His muscular arms held her close as she explored everywhere she could from below him.

“Cordelia, I’m sorry if I did something-“

“We had sex?” she wondered, looking perplexed and somewhat dazed, and feeling confused by the feelings she now had connecting to him.

“No, god no,” he answered, “I mean- I wanted to- you asked if I wanted to-” he skipped a few sentences and tried to move away again.

She pulled the tie slowly closer to her, their lips almost touching, before her bracelet blinked in red to alert her high heart beat. “I remember,” she breathed fast, “some of it, that is.” 

And without a warning, to herself as to him, she closed their distance and felt his lips on her again. 

Just as the distant feeling had made her remember.

For a moment, they both seemed to melt into one another. His hand traveled to the back of her head and pulled her closer. She moaned into his mouth before he pulled away to take a breath of air. He laid his hand over hers that held the tie.

“Cordelia,” Newton warned sternly. His lips were slightly plump as his cheeks reddened. “I don’t think we should do this.” It sounded as he had to convince the both of them.

She, however, was completely drunk on the new feeling flooding her brain. It felt so soothing and rewarding after the weeks of gloom and sadness. Her hand went to his glasses and removed them. 

“I like how you smell,” she said in a husky tone, “I like how you taste,” and licked her lips.

He groaned as he fought against the lewd thoughts overthrowing his logical ones. “You talked like this too,” he sighed and pushed her fingers away from around the tie. “You probably won’t remember this again.”

“What if I do?” she whimpered and yearned for his touch.

“Fuck,” he cursed and let her entwined their hands around his tie. 

“Don’t you want to do this?” she pouted her lips and leaned over to his ear. “Don’t you want me?” She softly nibbled his earlobe, and a rough moan escaped him. 

His other hand grabbed the back of her hair and cocked her head back as he stood over her. “I want every part of you,” he heaved and eyed over her body, before closing the distance between them.

The sounds of beeps stopped them, and they looked over at the door. It was coming from the lock. The code was being inserted.

Newton stepped away from her, grabbing his glasses back and straightened his clothes, while she stayed in the chair.

Not even one second later, Hermann walked into the room. “Any results?”

“Back already?” Newton asked and took a few deep breaths and awkwardly adjusted his pants as he hid behind a monitor.

“Yeah, he had an emergency meeting. So, I am here. Anything I missed?” His cane tapped over the tiled floor and observed the monitor. 

“What happened?” His voice rose as he looked over at her before at Newton. “Your brain went haywire just a moment ago, and your heart is going crazy.”

She licked her lips and squeezed her thighs together as she relived the heated moments. Yet, it more felt like she had watched a movie than played in it herself. 

“I, eh, I don’t remember.”

“So, to get this clear,” Hermann told her as he stood by the opening of the sliding bookcase and watched her sit on the side of. “Newton was grabbing something from the storage, and you suddenly blacked out?”

She hummed and played with the corner of the blanket. 

“You don’t remember what caused it?”

She shook her head.

They had decided that she would from now on sleep in the lab until they knew what was the cause of her ‘blackouts’. Besides, they would lock the lab and wake her in the morning. From the looks of it, her first night went well.

“Right,” he sighed as he rubbed his eyes. “I understand if you hate us, Lia.” 

“Hate you?” she straightened her back and gave him a perplexed look. 

“We convince you to get tested, only to cause whatever has happened,” he gestured vaguely. He had misinterpreted her silence for something else.

“I was angry at you two at first, yes,” she explained, “but I later realized it wasn’t only because you were curious about my state. You two care about my well-being.” She rubbed her feet against each other in embarrassment as she said it out loud. “Thank you.”

“Want to get breakfast?” he changed the subject, much to her delight.

“Can I sit here a bit longer?.. I have to mentally prepare myself for a moment.” 

To her surprise, the mattress sunk in, and Hermann sat beside her. He put the cane against the wall and leaned over with his elbows on his knees. “When I get nervous and need to prepare myself for something,” he said quietly, “I do some breathing exercises.”

“Does it help?” 

He shrugged indifferently, “Sometimes.”

She realized that she had clenched her fists and knuckles had turned white. With a deep breath in, she waited a moment and breathed back out. She repeated it a few times, but she didn’t feel more relaxed.

“Shall I tell you how I do it?” Hermann asked and rotated to her as he leaned against the back of the wall.

Cordelia nodded in agreement, a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

“Sit straight and look ahead,” he instructed her.

She giggled for a moment and watched him raise an eyebrow. “You should have become a teacher.”

He scoffed, “Empty your lungs.”

As she listened to his instruction, she corrected her posture, and breathed out as much as she could.

“Breathe in through the nose.”

She closed her eyes and breathed in.

“Hold,” he said after a moment.

For a few seconds, the room was absent of any noise, besides the breathing of Hermann.

She opened one eye and glanced at him as she waited for him to continue, but he said nothing and stared at her in the dimly lit room.

A small smile tugged on the side of his lips before he said, “breathe it all out through your mouth.”

With a bit of focus, and fighting the urge not to laugh, she unconsciously took a sharp breath in.

“Again,” he instructed, “and keep your shoulders relaxed.”

She nodded and let her shoulders drop as she emptied her lungs.

“Breathe in.”

She couldn’t help but get the feeling that they sat closer to one another than they were, as she was focused on his breathing.

“Hold.”

She bit on the inside of her cheek as she thought about yesterday and how Newton was leaning over her.

“Did I say breathe out?”

She opened her eyes and looked at him with a guilty smile. “Sorry, got distracted.”

He smiled back, before suggesting, “Keep one hand on your stomach and the other over your heart. It can keep you grounded.”

They started over again, before she got confused about what to focus on more. It only made her quicken her breathing.

“How about I check your pulse while you just concentrate on your breathing?”

She nodded and flinched at the touch of his icy fingers pressing under her jaw.

“Again.”

As she followed his lead, his touch remained gentle, and even joined her with the breathing exercise.

The way his voice sounded gentle and so close to her, made her hairs stand on end. It didn’t help that she smelled the laundry softener, and made her want to bury her face into his sweater vest.

“Cordelia,” he hushed as she tried to hold her breath, “your heartbeat is going too quick.”

She breathed out as a reaction and looked down to the floor in shame, as she couldn’t look at him. “Got distracted again.”

“It doesn’t work for everyone,” he comforted her and dropped his hand.

The absence of his touch made her turn, “No, I want to,” she said in normal volume, which sounded so loud in contrast. “I mean,” she toned down, “I really try, but I can’t. Not now.”

“Everything alright?” Hermann had moved closer to her and looked her directly in her eyes.

She could only stare back at his warm brown orbs and gulp down the saliva gathering in her mouth.

“Lia?” 

With a blink, she noticed she had leaned closer and her hand laid against his chest. Her fingertips feeling the soft fabric as she clutched the cloth.

“I don’t feel like myself,” she said, and couldn’t describe the feeling that was urging her to go closer and pull him to her. Her attention was drawn to his Adam's apple, bobbing as she spoke. “I think you shouldn't come any closer, Hermann,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and leaned back to the wall, though a fraction of uncertainty lingered in his eyes as they briefly met hers.

She moved with him, as her hand still held onto him, and she shifted onto her knees.

He laid his hand on hers and gave her a confused look. “Cordelia, why are you holding onto me?”

“I don’t know,” she breathed and glanced down as he gulped. “Do you want me to let go?”

He chewed on the words he wanted to say, clenching and unclenching his jaw as he averted away from her gaze. His eyes were on the door.

Her muscles quivered beneath her skin as she held herself in control to await his answer.

He looked away from the door and shortly squeezed her hand as he cleared his throat, “Lia, I can’t deny that there is something between us, but now with what is going on and-”

In a single, fluid motion, she launched herself at him, and pushed him down to the side onto the mattress. She set one leg on each side before leaning down on him with a smile. “I don’t mind what’s going on.”

He set his hands on her shoulders to push her slightly away until he stifled a moan as she pushed down her hips. His fingers dug into her as he arched his back as the feeling overthrew him. “Cor-Cordelia?” he stammered and froze as she leaned into the crook of his shoulder. His heartbeat went crazy where her lips grazed past.

“I don’t know why,” she breathed and softly nipped his neck as he squirmed under her, “but I want to be close to you.” This seemed to change his demeanor, and his hands went down to her hips.

She gasped as his hands slid under her shirt and held onto her sides, and felt his hold tighten as he pushed her closer to him. Her breathing quickened as she made a path of sucking and nipping at his skin to his mouth. The bracelet silently blinked red and temporarily lit the room.

“Cordelia,” Hermann mumbled, “What day is it?”

This seemed to make her freeze, and before she could say or do anything, she was flipped over and laid under him. Though, he pushed himself off of her and reached towards his cane.

She got hold of his jacket and could make him slightly lose balance.

“No, Cordelia,” he ordered, his voice stern, and used the tip of his cane to push her back. “Stay.” 

“ Stay ,” she parroted in his accent with a sly smile, and her hands traveled up the wooden staff.

“Yes,” he nodded and combed his hair back with his free hand as he looked down at her.

“Do you like watching me?” She wiggled her hips and slowly spread her legs. She giggled as he rapidly blinked away. 

“Do you hate me?”

This specific wording made him actually answer back, as it reverted back to the conversation they had before. “I don’t hate you,” he gritted his teeth while glancing into the lab.

“Then why don’t you like me?” 

He opened his mouth, and realized it was to catch him off guard in return, as she slid from under the cane and pulled him down. He couldn’t react in time, and she grabbed onto his jacket and made him fell back onto the mattress once more.

She did the same thing as before, locked her legs and dived into the crook of his shoulder, but this time was stopped by the cane pressing against her throat. She made a yearning moan as she couldn’t get closer.

“No,” he grunted and pushed her back with all his strength. “You don’t know what you are doing.”

“Please, Hermann,” she pleaded and licked her lips.

He gave a frustrating noise and attempted to push her away in one go, but she didn’t budge as she pressed further down on him. “Why am I not stronger?” he huffed to himself and questioned his strength, physically and mentally.

At that exact moment, Newton ran into the room and looked at the two of them on the bed. “Again?!?” he called out and pulled Cordelia off of him in one go. 

“ Again ?” Hermann repeated in disbelief and hastily climbed off the bed. “Care to explain what is going on? She suddenly got so- so, well, turned into this .”

“She can’t control it,” Newton explained while holding her against him and locked between his arms as she tried to claw her way to get back to Hermann. He passed his colleague, as if he was holding a feral cat, and dragged her to the bathroom.

“How did you know something was wrong?” 

“I updated the bracelet yesterday, after, well, something like this,” Newton confessed to his colleague. “Seems it worked like a charm.”

“Please,” she begged and wrestled against his hold, but to no avail. It took her a moment before she saw who had grabbed her and joyfully turned around to swap targets.

“Turn on the water,” he ordered and lifted her into the tub, before stepping into it as well.

“What?” Hermann asked and followed in a daze.

“The cold water will maybe snap her out of it. Just do it.” Newton’s voice cracked as her hands traveled down his pants. 

Before she could slip past the fabric, the water streamed out of the shower head. She gave a shriek and tried to hide in Newton’s hold. This seemed to go on for a while until she fell silent and peeked up.

“Lia?” Hermann asked carefully, turned off the water and stepped back cautiously.

Her body shivered all over and felt more awake. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, and then realized she was crying. “I couldn’t stop.” She looked at Hermann and sniffed. “You didn’t want it, and I kept going.”

“Cordelia,” Newton said to her and hugged her tight for a moment. “You weren’t you.”

“But I remember everything. I liked it all, and Hermann tried to push me off!” She tried to push Newton away, but he held her close. 

“Hm, what do you mean?” Newton playfully said, before he whispered into her ear, “The Hermann I know would be delighted to have you on his lap.”

She gaped at the information, while she couldn’t choose between feeling delighted or embarrassed, and if he was telling her the truth.

Hermann noticed the change in her face, as the tears stopped flowing, and suspiciously asked, “What did you tell her?”

“Enough to make it not seem like harassment,” Newton joked and got a towel thrown into his face in response.

“You were overthrown with hormones,” he went on as if nothing had happened, while throwing the towel over her shoulders. “I studied the brain scan and, well, I think I know what was going on.”

“The Kaiju’s brain particularly rewired yours while the tablet malfunctioned,” Newton explained and showed a comparison between two human brain scans by the monitor. 

The parts that flared in hers were much more active and triggered hormones that made her react how she did.

She was sitting in an office chair as she looked up at her colleagues while munching down her late breakfast.

“It’s especially extreme with instances when you are hungry, you need to sleep or don’t feel safe. This overlaps that of the Kaiju’s basic instincts,” Newton continued and showed another slide with the mentioned scenarios.

“But what triggered, you know, that with you two?” she furrowed her eyebrows, “I don’t understand.”

Hermann cleared his throat and looked away as Newton chuckled in amusement while rolling up his sleeves.

“What?!” she snapped and almost choked on a piece of bread. “What am I missing?”

“You know about the pregnant Kaiju in the fifth wave?” Hermann tried to give her a hint, without having to actually say it himself.

“I am not pregnant,” she scoffed, feeling the hunger disappear, and watched them shake their heads.

“No, that’s not what it triggers.”

The room fell silent as it slowly dawned on her.

“The instinct to procreation…” she muttered and suddenly felt herself getting warmer in embarrassment as she said it. She laid the bread away on the desk as she thought about what she all had done.

“I didn’t,” she tried, “I wasn’t aware of- I had no intention of- Fuck. I’m sorry for what I did.” 

“We don’t blame you, Cordelia,” Herman said. “It’s a biological response, and it also happens to trigger the Kaiju’s instinct. You couldn’t have known.”

“But the other things didn’t overtake me like that,” she desperately explained. “Yes, I wasn’t aware of it, but I appeared sane to you… mostly.”

“Did you respond to others like this?” Newton curiously asked and bit his lower lip.

She shook her head and blushed under their gazes. “No, only you two.”

“A magnified response by our hormones?” Newton thought out loud.

“Chemical attraction, perhaps?” Hermann suggested.

She shook her head again and waved her hands in front of her as her cheeks felt warmer than before. “I don’t feel comfortable enough with you two talking about me like that.”

“Why?” they asked simultaneously and fought the urge to glare at one another.

“You felt comfortable enough to pull me down and jump onto Hermann,” Newton pointed out. “You wanted to feel closer to us, and even said so yourself.”

“Newt!” she shouted and stared up at him in disbelief.

“I think it’s best to investigate further into this,” Hermann implied. “We need to know when it exactly triggers, before you can control these urges.”

“Hermann…” she wailed, squirmed on the chair and felt her breathing involuntarily quicken.

“Lia, you can’t continue to work with us if you don’t know your limits,” Newton explained and seemed to have picked up the nickname as well. “Can’t have you suddenly cling onto us each time you feel the need to-”

“Okay! Okay, I understand,” she said, and knew they were right. “But I think I can now hold myself in check whenever it goes wrong. For example, I feel fine right now.”

Though, the beeping of her bracelet indicated something else.