Chapter Text
Killua nearly got into an argument with the Whispering Haven’s staff to secure his name at the bottom of the list for speakers. After explaining his intentions and promising to settle a few tabs for his friends, they finally agreed to let him on stage.
He waited anxiously, sitting center stage and bouncing his knee. The Haven had cleared out a bit, the crowd dwindling down to just a few people. Some of Gon's classmates had left, giving Killua dirty looks. Killua felt foolish, realizing too late that Gon had staged a performance for him, with people cheering on the sidelines. Now, Killua looked like he had rejected him in front of everyone. He almost laughed to tears when Zushi patted him on the shoulder and left the journal with him. Everything was a misunderstanding, all because Killua didn't know how to express his feelings, nor could he figure out Gon's.
Killua's ears perked at the sound of the Haven's door opening, and he sat up a little straighter when he heard Gon’s gravelly voice. He winced; Gon had been crying. Zushi led a feeble Gon to the main part of the club, and Killua looked at him, ocean eyes meeting honey.
“Hey,” was all he could choke out as Gon's red and watery eyes widened in surprise. Zushi backed away, giving the boys some space. Gon didn't speak, only stood frozen, unsure of what to do. Killua forced down a chuckle and waved his hand toward a stool just in front of him, off stage. “Please… Sit?” he asked, never removing his gaze from Gon's. Gon nearly protested, glancing at Zushi, who nodded toward the stool. Slowly, as if afraid, Gon inched onto the stool and turned to face Killua.
“What… Killua, what's…” His voice cracked when he spoke, but Killua held up his hand to stop him. Gripping Gon’s notebook tightly in his other hand, anxiety swirled through his stomach. The heat crawled up his neck, stinging his ears a bright red. Holding Gon’s gaze, his eyes filled with a pleading trust and understanding, Killua spoke.
“I just don't say what you want to hear.
So I'll write my fears,
and I don't believe in talking just to breathe
and falling selfishly.
I won't fall in love with fallin'.
I will try to avoid those eyes.
But now, I'm here to give you words
as tools that can destroy my heart.”
Again, the silence was deafening, and Killua's ears rang with it as he remained locked with Gon’s eyes. The silence and eye contact broke when a sob escaped Gon’s lips, and Killua jumped in surprise. The small crowd of customers had begun to murmur or disperse, emptying the club.
“Gon.” Killua bit his lip as another sob erupted from Gon’s throat, and tears spilled down his cheeks. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, looking away. Maybe he had made a mistake; he didn't mean to make Gon cry. He thought maybe he would make Gon happy. Gon hiccuped and made a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. Killua raised his eyebrows, looking over at him, surprised to see a very soft look on the boy's features. Tears still spilled over his freckled cheeks, but he wasn't frowning; no, he was smiling. It was a beautiful smile that pulled hard at Killua's heartstrings. Gon wiped his tears and stood up from the stool.
“Killua, please… don't apologize. I'm sorry I didn't make myself clear…” He smiled fondly and chuckled, blushing slightly. “I guess telling someone you love them should be said in those words, not in confusing poetry.” His laugh was shy, and he eyed the notebook clutched in Killua's hand. Killua froze with the words Gon spoke, his heart pounding in his chest. The word 'love' echoed throughout his entire being as the realization of what was occurring hit him. Gon loved him. He exhaled loudly, the weight of his feelings finally floating away.
“How are you able to just say things like that, Gon?” He asked, avoiding his friend's eyes, voice quiet. Gon chuckled again and stepped forward to grasp Killua's hands.
“Because it's true, Killua. Every time I say it, every time I think about it, it's always true. I. Love. You.” He said, forcing Killua to look him in the eyes. Gon’s hands were light and warm against Killua's, sending a wave of electricity through his arms. Killua felt that prickling heat rise in his face as Gon bore his honey eyes into his soul. Gon's words were soft and genuine, enough for Killua to decide that enough is enough. He took a step forward and pressed his forehead against Gon’s, inhaling deeply.
“I'm an idiot. This entire time, we felt the same, and I stupidly thought I was being selfish and jealous. But… I love you too.” His voice was almost a whisper, and Gon beamed, leaning his weight into their forehead press.
“I know. And… You're not selfish.” With a grin, he leaned in and placed his lips on Killua's. The kiss was soft and barely a whisper, but it sent Killua flying. It was everything he dreamed about, and more. He just thought that he'd be the one to initiate it. A cough from Zushi interrupted them, breaking them apart quickly.
“The Haven is closed, guys, so uh… While this is beautiful and a long time coming… We should go before we aren't allowed back here.” He said, avoiding looking at the boys. Killua bristled as they walked out, Gon's hand wrapped tightly around his.
“What do you mean a long time coming?” He asked, making Zushi laugh. He gave them a knowing look.
“Dude. You guys are so unbelievable. Everyone already knew about Gon because he pretty much told everyone BUT you. But you didn't hide it very well either, Kill. Everyone knew you guys felt the same; we were all rooting for you. Hence why Bisky and them kinda looked like they wanted to kill you when Gon ran outta here.” He said pointedly, giving his words a sharp edge that made Killua frown.
“Listen…” he bit, but Gon squeezed his hand.
“It's alright now. Everything has been said that needed to be said, and we both finally got our answer.” He said, smiling softly. Killua flushed, squeezing Gon's hand back.
The two boys had finally gotten the answer to their feelings, although it was a wild ride from beginning to end. Killua still couldn't believe he got to call Gon ‘his,’ and who knows how long it would be before he got used to it.