Chapter Text
Interviews with Sirius weren’t light. None of the sessions with the individual band members were particularly light anymore—except Mary, but that was just because he was still learning the basic background about her. Sirius covered the general and specific information of his queerness and his family, then they moved onto the betrayal. That’s what the band called it, the betrayal . It was better than saying that Peter left them because that was too simple enough. He was pretty sure he knew enough about each of the band members to write a good chunk of a book on them. From the album writing sections and living together in the house, he figured out their dynamic pretty well.
He was going to be done with the book sooner rather than later and that thought was terrifying. It wasn’t as if Remus’s relationship with Sirius was going to be over, they discussed that, they were committed to each other. But when he had to leave things were going to change. They were going to be apart from one another for long periods of time. And they could call and fly to see each other for weekends, but that didn’t make Remus want to leave any less.
The album was almost done as well. They had twelve songs fully written and ten recorded, they were working on three more. Five of them were from the original fourth album that they were going to release with Peter, the ones that they managed to prove they were theirs immediately, with Remus’s recordings. About another five of the songs were about the actual betrayal, inspiring the name of the album after one of Sirius’s songs— Altruistic . And two of the songs were about Remus. He wasn’t being vain. Sirius told him. They were love songs. Out of the other three that they were working on, one was James’s project which the rest of the band was helping. And another one was written by Mary. And the last was Sirius’s.
It was an angry song about Remus and he had said, “The lyrics are good, but I’m not in that place anymore. Can’t write it.” And that made sense to Remus, because he was a writer too, even if it wasn’t exactly the same, he could understand.
At the moment they were in the recording studio recording Honey . As if that wasn’t enough to kill Remus, Sirius was particularly whiny and needy today. It absolutely should not have been a turn on but it completely was. The room was a headache of colors, not that Remus minded, because in the light the colors reflected off of Sirius’s skin, and created a sort of mosaic look on him. It made him look even more beautiful.
“ Moons ,” he whined, arms crossed, drama in every word as he said, “I’m so tired.”
He always seemed to say that.
Remus looked down at him, saying it all nonchalant and innocent, “Shouldn’t have been up all night, then.”
Sirius smirked, sizing Remus up with his eyes. “How come you aren’t tired, Mr. Moons?”
He shrugged. “Maybe I just have better stamina.”
Sirius hit his arm a little too harshly, with a sour look on his face. Remus laughed, barely controllable, luckily they were alone in the room, at least for the moment. Although the band was simply across the glass partition, they couldn’t hear a thing. He had made sure of that.
“Fucker,” Sirius mumbled, but Remus could tell that he was trying not to smile.
He leaned down, moving Sirius’s hair aside so his lips could directly touch his ear. “You have good stamina, baby.”
When he pulled away he was satisfied to see that characteristic pink hue that was suddenly on his cheeks and how shaky his breathing had become for a moment. And it was honestly astounding that something that simple could make the elusive, flirtatious, and calm and collected Sirius Black blush. It was unbelievable.
Sirius seemed content on ignoring it, though; and that was perfectly fine with Remus, he didn’t need to tease him—at least at that moment—because knowing he could do that was enough. “Sorry about Honey. ” He whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“‘Supposed to be just for you and now, now it’ll be for the world.”
He shook his head with as much authority as he could muster. “Nope. It’ll still be our song, the world might not know that, they might know you wrote it about someone, but the people important will know. And,” he smiled, “I think it will be fucking amazing to hear that song on the radio and know that Sirius Black wrote that about me .”
Sirius grinned, wide and all teeth. He scratched his head, messing up his hair, but somehow it fell exactly back to how it was before. “You make it sound like it’s unbelievable.”
Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me
Remus shrugged. He wasn’t about to get into self deprecation and all that. He wasn’t in the mood. He knew how Sirius felt about him—and at least in that moment—he didn’t need Sirius to prove it to him.
He put his hand on Remus’s shoulder. “Love ya Moons.”
He smiled. “Love you too.” After a moment he added, “Hey Sirius?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?”
Sirius frowned, looking around for a moment. “Well, there are no cameras and everyone pretty much knows I’m gay here. You’d be the only one that would be ou—”
They were kissing and Sirius laughed into it. It quickly devolved into full on making out in the middle of the studio. Remus could not care less.
I don’t wanna leave her now
You know I believe and how
There was a harsh tap on the glass. They broke apart and James was giving them a mock disapproving look, but there was humor underneath. His mouth was moving but neither of them could hear.
“I better get in there,” Sirius jutted his head to the door behind him. “And Moons, maybe don’t tell Bill that you’re queer.”
He grinned, having an idea what was coming next. “Why?”
“He was flirting with you, has been. I swear, I—” he sighed, “I was really angry at him.”
“C’mon baby, it’s not like we were together.”
“Still,” Sirius said petulantly. “I wanted you and he should’ve known.”
Bill came into the room and Remus shot Sirius a furtive smile. He returned it before backing out of the room with a little flourish. Remus laughed.
Bill put a bottle of water down on the ground and then smiled up at Remus, it was flirty—Sirius was right, but he always seemed to have a good sense about those things. “How are you doing, Remus?”
“Good, good,” he sat down on the couch, “what about you?”
“So I think I found that article that your friend wrote, you said Dorcas Meadows, right?”
“Yeah,” he smiled brightly, “Did you like it?”
He nodded, smiling brightly too. “I did. It was very interesting, because my family has been here for a while so we’re pretty far removed from the immigrant experience.”
“Yeah, me too. I just think she’s a great writer too.”
Bill hummed, “Just like you, I’m sure. How about lunch, and we can discuss it some more.”
Remus tried to maintain his smile. His eyes flickered to the other side of the partition to see Sirius talking to James, but he was looking at him with determined eyes. “A nice friendly lunch sounds good.”
“How about something not so friendly?”
He raised his left hand and pointed at his finger. The ring sparkled in the light. “I think my spouse would mind.”
Somewhere in her smile, she knows
That I don’t need no other lover
His eyes flickered to Sirius again and this time he looked smug.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t notice a ring before.”
“It’s alright, I wasn’t wearing a ring before.”
Bill nodded. “Right, well, is she back home?”
“He lives here actually.”
“He?” He seemed surprised, which was fair. “Did you two, somewhere else?”
He shook his head. “No, here, it wasn’t legal, but—”
Something in her style that shows me
I don’t wanna leave her now
You know I believe and how
There was a sharp knock on the glass and it was Marlene, her mouth was moving but they couldn’t hear. Bill hit some button and her voice came through, “—soon. They’re annoying the shit out of me.”
He hit another button. “Alright, alright. I’ll be there in a second.”
He first got Remus set up with a pair of headphones and then he went inside and made sure everything was perfect. But at this point, the band pretty much knew how to do everything themselves. They were doing Honey and one of Marlene’s songs today, Sirius was singing it, though. He seemed to do most of the singing which Remus liked—immensely.
Marlene’s song was beautiful but it was angry. It hit home for Remus. And Sirius’s voice became more guttural and broken, taking on a raspy quality. All of it combined to make it feel like he was there in that moment—and he was, but not in their emotions, like how he felt now. They did that song a few times, making minor edits each time, sometimes just repeating a singular verse over and over again.
You’re asking me, will my love grow?
I don’t know, I don’t know
And then it was Honey . And somehow it was nearly—almost but not quite—as good as when Sirius sang it to him in his bedroom. Then it was more emotional and sentimental. This was just as powerful, but in a different way. This was sexy—the intricacies of the guitar alone.
After the guitar tapered out, Bill made them repeat some specific sections before he said, “Alright, I want it one more time from the top, Sirius, make sure you really keep the emphasis on the same thing.”
“ You and truth ?” He questioned, tilting his head.
“Yeah, but sometimes it seemed like you were emphasizing mind, thoughts, heart, and body too.”
“Which do you think is better?”
Bill sighed. “I think you and truth is more about the other person, the others are more about you, but that’s just my interpretation.”
He nodded. “Right, right.” His eyes flickered to Remus and he smiled. “I got it, ‘m ready.”
The band began to play and it was a very long song, especially with the opening, James played it well, so it was worth it. As soon as Sirius began singing it again, it was different and Remus was enthralled.
“ Oh, my life is changing
Not hard to accept the truth anymore
I know I haven’t felt like before
Never quite what it seems”
He looked at Remus and he smirked like he knew what he was doing. He probably did. Sirius closed his eyes and began the chorus.
“Sweet lovin’ like honey
Oh, oh, oh, honey
Warmth and thoughts dripping
Like honey
Hard wide open truth
Honey dripping down the combs
Into waiting mouths
Slip into my closed mind
Impossible not to understand”
He opened his eyes again and he leaned forward slightly, locking eyes with Remus as he sang the next verse. Remus might as well have been shot on his heart, he felt something intense there. All he could think of was love, but could love do that?
“They sat what they want
I don’t hear the buzz
I tell you know, open my mind
You have my heart now”
He winked.
“Sweet lovin’ like honey
Oh, oh, oh, honey
Warmth and thoughts dripping
Like honey
Hotel rooms and back to home
Making it up as we go
Amber light never fade
Despite how the sun changes”
He closed his eyes again and it was reminiscent of how he looked when he was on stage and performing. Powerful—completely in his element and he knew it too.
“Nothin’ to be proud of ‘cept you
Sweet honey, gentle wings, harsh sting
Stays with you, on my body
Opened my mind with your truth ”
Sirius nodded just slightly, eyes still closed.
“Sweet lovin’ like honey
Oh, oh, oh, honey
Warmth and thoughts dripping
Like honey
Wasn’t hard to accept
Once stung, felt it forever
Never wanna pull it out
Out of all those people
Hive mind
Until I found you ”
He opened his eyes and looked directly at Remus, singing the next bit to him. Or that’s what it felt like.
“Sweet lovin’ like honey
Oh, oh, oh, honey
Warmth and thoughts dripping
Like honey
Like honey
Like ho-ne-y”
The guitar finished out, and the band looked like they were just as absorbed in the music. Sirius a little less so, because he was looking at Remus now, with a smile—gentle and loving. Eventually, when it finally finished out, Bill hit a few buttons and said, “That’s a wrap, guys.”
They started to take off their equipment and instruments and Remus asked him, “Can I go in there?”
There was slight confusion on his face, he waved his hand, granting access.
You stick around, now it may show
I don’t know, I don’t know
Remus pushed open the door and walked right up to Sirius, he was on a mission. “Moons?”
He grabbed his face and pulled him into a rough kiss. Sirius kissed back and Remus could hear the groans but he did not care one bit. Too soon, the kiss broke, because Sirius was laughing.
“You know, you can’t kiss me everytime I sing that song.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t release it then,” he teased, “I don’t know how I’ll possibly manage.”
Sirius stood on his tip toes and pulled Remus down just a hair by the shoulders, and he applied a gentle kiss to his forehead. “You’ll manage.”
Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me
I don’t wanna leave her now
You know I believe and how
Sirius was in the middle of getting ready when Remus came into his room. He had been gone all afternoon, with Sirius’s car, not that he minded but it was still curious. Remus had avoided many of the questions, only answering in vague generalizations.
“Hey Moons,” he called, walking over to him. He intended to give him a chaste kiss but Remus pulled him in by the hips for more, deepening it. When he finally let go, Sirius was slightly out of breath, “What was that about?”
Remus smiled and pulled something out of his pocket, it was a box, a ring box. He handed it to Sirius and whispered, “Will you wear my ring, baby?”
He grinned, trying to hide it, but he knew he was failing. “Let me see it first.” When he opened it, he paused. It wasn’t—it was beautiful but unlike any other rings he had. Most of his other rings were chunky or had some sort of pattern or design, this was a simple silver band engraved with a small star. “Moons,” he whispered, taking it out.
“Look on the inside.”
He held it up to the light. There was an engraving on the inside too. RJL SOB 4.13.92
“Do you get it?” He asked with a nervous smile, “like you’re grand enough to show the world, but us, inside the ring, in our heart, that’s just for us.”
“Moons,” he whispered. He put the ring back in the box—for safe keeping. And he pulled him in for a hug, holding him as close as he could. Sirius felt like some part of them was fundamentally intertwined, souls connected by something. It was always there and Sirius just hadn’t realized until recently.
“I take it you like it?” Remus asked in a chuckle.
He huffed. “‘Course, I would like—but this, Moons, you make everything so fucking meaningful.”
He shrugged. “Can I put it on you?”
Sirius pulled back in an instant and removed the ring that was already on his finger, holding out his hand for Remus. He took the box, opened it, and situated the star right on top. It fit perfectly too. “Beautiful,” he said with a smile. “So that’s where you were all day?”
He hummed noncommittally. “Yeah, they told me that they’d have it engraved already but they didn’t so I had to wait.” Remus’s eyes scanned over his body. “You look nice, though.”
“Of course I do,” he went to his closet and dresser and opened the top drawer, getting out his jewelry box. He pulled out a necklace. “I told you, we’re going clubbing.”
“Yes, well, have fun.” He said dismissively.
“No Mr. Moons, you are coming with. We already have a spot reserved for you, and c’mon,” he smiled as sweetly as he could, “you don’t want to leave me all by my lonesome.”
“You just said we, so you aren’t alone.”
Sirius sighed, pulling out a different necklace and handing it to Remus for him to help put it on him. And he did, moving his hair to the side. “It’s Lily and James so they’re going to be all couplely and all be all alone.” He schooled his face, turning back around. “Unless you want me to find some handsome stranger to dance with.”
Remus huffed in exasperation, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. But he shook his head. “Playing on my jealousy is not going to work.”
“Really?” He questioned, tilting his head to the side. “Alright, I’m sure I’ll find someone to dance with.”
He groaned. “I’m not,” he gestured to Sirius’s outfit, “wearing something like that.”
The grin spread across his face before he could control it. Sirius tried to look disinterested, but he could tell it didn’t work by the smirk on his husband's face. “That’s fine,” he said coolly, “you can even wear that. Though it might be a bit hot in there.”
“Really?” He seemed surprised, “You had so many requirements in Vegas.”
“That’s because that wasn’t exactly planned and I know that they know me here, I wasn’t sure there.”
Remus narrowed his eyes. “I’m pretty sure most people know you.”
He shrugged. “If you don’t want to wear that, though, I can pick out your outfit.”
“You can.” He said simply, before walking to his own room.
Sirius smiled excitedly, putting on his own boots before walking into Remus’s room. He was getting out a few options, they were fine, but not what he was going for. He went into the dresser and pulled out a shirt that matched his—not by coincidence, though he would claim so. “This,” he held the shirt up, “and your pants are fine, shoes too, I suppose.”
“Gee, thanks.”
He rolled his eyes and pushed Remus lightly, they were both smiling. “Then I’ll do your eyeliner.”
He made a whiny sound.
“Don’t do that, you said I could pick. I pick that shirt and eyeliner.”
Remus sighed. “Fine.”
Sirius took a step closer, into his personal space and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be right back.”
They took a car service to the club, none of them wanted to remain sober. The first round of drinks were on James, but as it turned out all of them became on James. It was an exclusive club, hard to get into unless you had money or your claim to fame, so that made it relatively safe for them to be themselves. However, that did not mean that Sirius could do everything he wanted to, primarily dance with Remus, at least not yet. As the night progressed, he went from tipsy to solidly drunk.
Punctured bicycle on a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet?
When in this charming car
He embraced the feeling. Sirius always loved dancing, he loved reacting to the music in a different way than how he usually did. He loved when the music was loud and it drowned everything else out and he could feel it in his bones. He felt free—relatively.
Remus had danced with him for a bit in the beginning. Together, but far apart. Remus wasn’t the best dancer objectively, his movements weren’t very coordinated with the music, but he still made it look attractive. He even grasped Sirius’s hand once and spun him about, making him fucking giggle—but he emraced that too.
Far too soon for his taste, Remus went to the edge of the dance floor and watched. He talked to some people, either James or strangers. Most of the time, however, Sirius could feel Remus’s brown eyes on him. And when he glanced in his direction, he was proven right, over and over again. He wasn’t really dancing with anyone else besides Lily after James and Remus left. He had no desire to dance with strangers like he might once have. The prospect didn’t seem interesting anymore.
This charming man
Why pamper life’s complexity
When the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?
But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t dancing . One might even say he was putting on a show. That person would be correct, obviously, but said show was only meant for one person. Lily seemed inclined to take part, laughing, twirling, and moving to the music effortlessly. Sirius was flipping his hair about and was purposeful with every movement—or as much as he could be as he was steadily losing more and more control of his limbs.
He didn’t even realize how long he had been dancing, how tired he was, when a strong hand gripped his arm. Sirius looked up to see Remus staring down at him, something fierce in his eyes. “Hey,” he was ripped away from Lily and the dance floor, roughly but not so much that it hurt. “Moons, what?”
I would go out tonight, but I haven’t got a stitch to wear
This man said, “It’s gruesome that someone so handsome should care”
Ah, a jumped-up pantry boy
Remus didn’t say anything and Sirius wasn’t sure if he heard him. It was rather loud. Sirius got the message though when they were led to the bathroom. Inexplicably, there wasn’t a line for the men’s room and Remus pulled him in, locking the door.
“Wanna fuck me, Moons?” He grinned smugly, because he knew it. He knew he would get to Remus. He knew that Remus wouldn’t be able to resist him.
“No,” he said, turning to face Sirius. He put his hands on his waist, pulling them flush, Sirius’s hands immediately went to his shoulders. “Wanna dance with you.”
Who never knew his place
He said, “Return the ring”
He knows so much about these things
Sirius smiled, looking down at their feet as Remus started swaying them. Beat up doc martens next to beat up and dirty converse—at least Sirius kept his shoes clean. He could still hear the music clearly. It wasn’t the same dancing he was doing out there, but it was better, because it was Remus. They swayed and Remus twirled him a bit, this time pulling his back flush against his chest.
To tease him a bit, Sirius ground back a little, playful-like. Remus groaned, coughing out a, “Fucking stop it, ‘m trying to be charmin’.”
He laughed, turning back around and wrapped his hands around his neck. “So fucking charming, my Moons is.”
Remus rolled his eyes but there was color on his cheeks—and he could have been flushed from the alcohol or the heat or the dancing, but it was Sirius, they both knew it. Neither of them brought it up though.
There was a pounding on the door and Remus and Sirius both called out, “Busy!”
I would go out tonight, but I haven’t got a stitch to wear
This man said, “It’s gruesome that someone so handsome should care”
Na-na-na, na-na, na-na, this charming man
The man on the other side yelled something indistinguishable and they both laughed. “Soon,” Sirius said, “we’ll dance out there.”
He shrugged. “Think I’ve grown rather fond of dancing in bathrooms with you.”
Sirius snorted out a laugh, leaning up to kiss Remus. “Fucking charming.” Then Sirius yelled out, free and uninhibited, tossing his head back, “Mr. Moons, my Prince Charming.”
Na-na-na, na-na, na-na, this charming man
Remus pressed his lips to Sirius’s but he was also laughing, making it borderline impossible to kiss. “Shut up. Someone’s gonna—”
There was another knock on the door and they both laughed again.
When Remus wasn’t observing the band or with Sirius, he was writing the book. He had gotten a decent portion of it done. Because he had lived through the most relevant chunk of the band’s history, that section had been simple enough to write up. He was about halfway through each of the individual sections—Mary’s was probably the smallest at the moment but they were meeting pretty much everyday at this point so he was confident he could get it up to par with the others. The album writing process section was completed with all of the information that he knew. They were done with the recording and editing now, they had approved the final versions of the songs, so now it seemed like a bunch of decisions.
Today they were doing a photoshoot. It was one of the last steps, because tentatively the album was going to be released on the thirtieth, in a little over two weeks. They still needed to produce the records and CDs and posters and everything else—all with the pictures of them. Lily had been the one to push for it. Sirius had claimed that it was not ‘ their image ’ but Lily insisted that it needed to be because they needed to remind the world that Peter was no longer in the band. The album was also being rushed—like the book—because of Peter and the Snakes.
They had got both positive and negative attention with the stunt that they pulled. But at this point attention was publicity and having the Marauders permanently tied to the Snakes was not something anyone from the Marauders or their team wanted. It seemed inevitable, but hopefully the album and the court case and the book would change the tide of public support against them. It was a hard task that Remus was hoping he could live up to.
Both Alice and Lily agreed that the book should be done and hopefully released by early to mid August. That meant having a completed copy by early June, which was in less than three weeks. Remus felt like he was cramming, trying to fit as much in as he could in that short time, and do as good a job as they deserved. And it seemed like an easy enough task, he would’ve easily been able to complete it in school, but he wasn’t in school anymore. And now he had Sirius to contend with. Sitius was the ultimate distraction—and he fucking knew it and used it. A few times Remus had resorted to locking himself in his room for hours just to find Sirius sitting outside of it, writing or smoking or practicing, claiming that he wasn’t waiting, he was just comfortable there.
They had piled into two cars with all of their equipment (except the drumset, luckily), to the Phoenix Records, because that’s where the photoshoot was taking place. It was Marlene’s idea. The rest of the band agreed readily. Sirius and Remus were in the backseat together, Sirius laying his head in Remus’s lap as he played with his hair absentmindedly. James and Lily were talking about different ideas and things they wanted to try, Sirius adding something in occasionally.
It wasn’t actually very far but there was traffic. Remus wasn’t exactly listening. It wasn’t something that was pertinent to the book—what actually happened would be—and he couldn’t even really understand what they were talking about. When he was asked if he had any ideas he just chuckled, “No, that’s not—I like to look at pictures, have no idea how to create cool ones though.”
Sirius grabbed him by the chin and forced his head down. He was grinning, “I’ll be extra cool for you Moons.”
He chuckled. “Alright.”
“It’s okay,” Lily said easily, “Elizabeth is a genius.”
Elizabeth , he made a note in his head. Soon enough they got to the studio and Mary and Marlene had already unloaded the guitars. It was crowded for a bit, until everyone found their place. He was talking to James when he heard Sirius laugh and he turned to look—his heart went cold for a second. He had only met Caradoc that one time, when he was dropping off drugs, he had no idea why he would be here.
“Right,” James said, obviously following his line of sight. “I assume Sirius has told you about Caradoc.”
“Yeah, yeah, a bit.” Not enough, apparently . “Why is he here?”
“Oh,” he chuckled. “He’s a photographer, our go-to for this sort of stuff. That’s how they met. Sirius didn’t tell you that?”
“Nope."
He hummed. “I wouldn’t, there’s nothing between them. Nothing at all.”
He knew that. He knew that, but, “They were together a month ago, I feel like—”
“I understand, but trust me, he,” James sighed. “At first I hated Caradoc, I thought that he enabled Sirius, but then he explained it to me, and he needs someone outside of this mess.” His voice dropped down an octave. “And Sirius hasn’t brought it up with me, but I think he’s trying to—to get clean, because after you left Remus, it was horrible. It was the worst I’d ever seen him and then he came back from Mexico, and as far as I know he’s back to how he was when he was good, even better, maybe, and it’s not—it’s not perfect. But when you left he wasn’t functioning.” James took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. “Now, though, he’s back to the Sirius that I know. He’s healthy with it again, like how he was in the beginning, before things went to shit the first time. And, I mean, it’s only been a bit, I don’t know if it’ll last, but I’m hopeful.”
Remus looked over Caradoc. “You think it’s because of him?”
James nodded, “And you, obviously.” Remus frowned. “I think something happened to Sirius in Mexico, Caradoc said something, convinced him, because when he came back he was enlightened, he was willing to talk about it and Sirius never talks about anything.”
He hummed, because that was true in his experience. At least, it took him a while to be able to talk about the heavy things. Maybe it was the time or it was Caradoc—either way, Remus was happy, for a multitude of reasons.
“Just,” James grabbed his arm, “try not be dismissive of him, or jealous—”
“I’m no—”
“—I know you’re not, but just—I don’t know. I think he’s a good person, good to Sirius at least.”
“You know he’s a dealer.”
James nodded. “I know, but he’s just trying to make a good living, nothing wrong with that, right?”
Remus sighed, feeling like he was admitting defeat. “Yeah.”
He walked across the room, passing Mary and Lily who were sitting on the couch talking avidly. When he stopped beside Sirius, Sirius turned to him, looking truly excited. He grabbed his hand, interlocking it with his own. “Caradoc, meet my husband, Remus.”
“Nice to see you again,” Caradoc said, with what seemed to be a genuine and kind smile.
“Again?” Sirius questioned, looking to Remus as if to explain.
“Yeah, y’know, that night when we—”
“Oh,” Sirius said, averting his eyes and biting his lip for half a second. “Right, well, actually meeting now, then.”
Remus nodded, squeezing his hand. “I didn’t realize you were a photographer.”
Caradoc looked amused. “You didn’t tell him that?”
He shook his head, looking slightly embarrassed. He was pretty good at hiding it, but not to Remus—and he wondered if it was the same with Caradoc. “I told him other things about you.”
He nodded, obviously not believing. “Well, it’s nice to actually meet you, Remus. Sirius never shu—”
Sirius hit his arm. “Shut up.”
Caradoc chuckled and it was playful, but a different sort—no tension, like how there was with Remus and Sirius. That was good. They talked—about light and easy things, occasionally ganging up on Sirius—for while, until Caradoc was called away. Once he walked into the other room, Sirius grabbed his hand and pulled him into the empty hallway.
He was looking down at his feet. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you he was going to be here, I didn’t even think about it. He doesn’t always work on our projects.”
“Baby, it’s fine. I believed you when you said there was nothing between you two,” he reassured, watching as Sirius looked up carefully, eyes critical. “I—I’ll admit, I was a bit insecure, but if anything, he and you just confirmed that there was nothing for me to worry about.” He sighed, gripping Sirius’s shoulder forcefully. “I trust you, you know that, right? I trust you, so I believe you when you say that you don’t have feelings for Caradoc.”
“I don’t.”
“I believe you when you tell me things, Sirius. I think you’ve always been pretty honest with me, even in the beginning. So I don’t doubt you, alright?”
Sirius smiled up at him, something genuine and slightly playful. “Good, because I don’t think I’ve ever lied to you, real lies.”
“Me either.”
The door opened and Lily was standing there, “Come on lovebirds, we need to start getting some photos.”
“This is so much fucking vodka.” Remus said, staring at the bottles scattering the tables, James had kept bringing more and more bags in from his car. “You didn’t think to get anything else?”
He pulled out a singular—albeit large—bottle of tequila. “For Sirius.”
Remus laughed. “You’re not serious are you?”
He chuckled. “No, the bar is pretty well stocked and I have mixers in the trunk, but trust me Moony, I know these people. For some reason all they seem to want to drink is vodka, and I’m a man of the people. Can you put these in the fridge?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
They were hosting what was supposed to be an intimate gathering for the people who were closest to them and most influential in making the album. But James had gotten what seemed like enough alcohol for a rager.
As far as he knew only a singular mutual friend was coming, less than ten people from their team, and the Potters. James had—either as a way to psyche him out or as a genuine warning—told Remus that his parents consider Sirius their son. Remus knew some of it, of course. Sirius went on and on about how grateful he was to them, how lucky he was to have them, how he missed them. But after James said that, he became nervous, because it felt like he was meeting the parents.
He hadn’t thought about that before because Sirius’s birth parents weren’t in the picture, so in his mind he had no parents, but that was definitely a mistake. They were coming earlier than the rest and leaving earlier—because as James said it, ‘ no parents want to see their son trashed.’ That meant soon, so after helping James, he went upstairs and got dressed. Remus even asked Marlene and she was kind—not laughing at him, despite not hiding the urge well.
After, Sirius found him in his room, and looked at him strangely, tilting his head, “Why are you dressed like that?”
He looked down at himself even though he was aware of what he was wearing. “Do I not look alright?”
He made an interesting sound, coming forward and unbuttoning his shirt, roughing up the collar a bit, and unbuttoning his sleeves as well to roll up the sleeves. “Much better,” he grinned, “but y’know you don’t need to wear a sweater vest, it’s not going to be fancy. The one next Saturday is going to be much fancier, they’re going to serve real food.”
Remus shrugged. “Just wanted to wear it.”
Sirius examined him like he didn’t believe him, which was completely fair. Remus knew he fucked up when he looked up and Sirius grabbed his chin, forcing their eyes to meet. His gaze was expository, “You’re nervous, why?”
“‘m meeting people, I can’t be nervous?”
“But you’re not—Moons,” he was grinning wildly. “You’re nervous to meet my parents, Moons, that’s adorable.”
He groaned in exasperation. “Of course I’m nervous, it doesn’t help that I had find out from James that your actually a fucking family, bad enough being the people that took you in, but now I have to impress them and—”
Sirius grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss, but it was short, “Remus, stop. I’m not nervous about it, y—”
“That doesn’t—”
He talked over, interrupting. “I’m not nervous about it, y’know why?”
He shook his head as much as Sirius’s harsh gripped allowed.
“I’m not nervous because when I met the Potters I was a mess, I was volatile and all over the place, I was fourteen and freshly out of that place. I was not a good person. They did not judge me once. They helped me, not just taking me in, they were ridiculously kind from the beginning. They loved me because they see the good in people, and Moons, you’re all good.” He smiled. “So I’m not nervous and you shouldn’t be either. You should be yourself because I want my parents to know the person who you are, the real you, not someone trying to impress them.”
Remus nodded, “Thanks, Sirius.”
He grinned, ducking down to kiss his cheek. “Course.”
Sirius was right. The Potters were the type of people that were kind and you could tell that they meant it. They seemed interested in getting to know Remus, one of them staying by him the majority of the time that they were there. It was also interesting to hear about James growing up. They were certainly eager to tell many things that were teasable.
After they left, Sirius came right up to him. “They loved you.”
He tried to keep up the act of skepticism. “They said that.”
He shook his head. “Actually, they said you are a very lovely young man and that I was lucky to have scored you.”
“They did not say scored.”
“They absolutely did.” He grinned, wiggling his shoulders a bit. “Effie likes to be hip, and keep up with all us kids.”
Remus chuckled. “Alright, alright. Now, time for me to get a drink.”
Sirius walked with him to the bar. “How drunk do you have to be to dance with me?”
He looked around, “But there’s no one dancing.”
“We’ll be the trendsetters, c’mon Moons,” he poured a generous serving of vodka and very little mixer, handing it to Remus harshly, nearly spilling it. “Drink! Drink! Drink!”
He put his hand over Sirius’s mouth, people were already looking at him, but it was more about getting Sirius to shut up and not not drawing attention. “I’ll drink, but calm down, we’re not a frat.”
Sirius chuckled. “We played a frat party once, y’know.”
He nodded. “Marls told me.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, “and all these girls kept hitting on me, every second I wasn’t playing, it was so annoying. For a few of them I was even saying, ‘ you know, I’m underage’ .”
“I’m guessing that didn’t work.”
“No, they said that they wouldn’t tell.” He sighed. “Not much longer before I won’t have to deal with that shit.”
Remus hummed, taking a sip of his very strong drink. “You might find someone who doesn’t follow celebrities and just thinks you’re hot.”
He raised his hand. “I’ll just say that I’m married.”
He smirked, fingering the one ring on his hand. It wasn’t something he would pick for himself but he had grown rather fond of it. Remus never wanted to take it off.
“Are you drunk enough?”
Remus shook his head. “Might need one more drink.”
“Just drink faster, same effect.”
He sighed, borderline chugging the rest of the cup and not-quite, but almost getting the sensation of a headrush. Sirius grabbed his hand and pulled him to the middle of the living room, leaving him there as he turned up the record player.
Why can’t I get just one kiss?
Why can’t I get just one kiss?
There may be some things that I wouldn’t miss
Once it started playing, Sirius turned on his heels and walked over in what was probably meant to be a seductive manner, and it was—swaying his hips and smiling, tilting his head from side to side. He grabbed Remus’s hands and pulled him close and pushed him away. When Sirius came back, Remus grabbed his hand and spun him around, and then Sirius came back with a laugh and spun Remus around. And then they held onto each other, far too close, far too tight, far too happy.
It was only them at that moment, people could be watching, probably were, but Remus’s eyes never left Sirius’s grinning face. His eyes were changing and swirling with emotion, like the ocean, full of life and movement—but they weren’t cold. They were warm and lively. His smile was grand.
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss
Why can’t I get just one screw?
Why can’t I get just one screw?
Remus had begun to pair the word grand with Sirius in his mind. They just went together, like music and sound, warmth and the sun, the sky and stars—one could not exist without the other. And he supposed that was because Sirius was grand. Not because he was a fucking rockstar—though that added to it—he was just unable to be described in another adequate way.
The only other one that Remus could think of was otherworldly. But they were also fundamental to each other, Sirius was so grand that he became otherworldly. Even when he wasn’t so hopelessly in love that he was enthralled, he still thought Sirius was otherworldly. There was just something about him.
Believe me, I know what to do
But something won’t let me make love to you
Maybe it was the way that his skin felt which squeezed his hips. Maybe it was the metallic quality of his eyes. Maybe it was his smile. Maybe it was his voice, or how he sang. Maybe it was what he created with his music. Maybe it was the way he loved.
Maybe it was just him—everything.
Remus didn’t know. He didn’t know if it was going to be one of those things that he figured out with time, he honestly didn’t care if he knew. He had Sirius, they had each other, and that was good.
The party was catered at a bar—a nice bar. Sirius was wearing a suit. He hadn’t had to put on a suit in ages. Remus was also wearing a suit, not the lavender velvet one, but he still looked nice—Remus admitted that he still had it in his closet at home, didn’t have the heart to throw it out. Sirius dared him to wear it somewhere, in the real world. Remus had rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything.
Everyone associated with the band was at this event . People that Sirius had never met were coming up and talking to him like they were regular old friends. He supposed that was fine, they were professionals and not likely to go running to the press—but he still felt slightly uneasy about it. Remus was helpful though—always so helpful—reassuring. And even a smile was enough to remind Sirius that he could have a good time here, it was about him and his band after all.
The first album party had been a very small affair, hardly even a party. The second was bigger, the third even more so, and now, this one seemed ridiculous. They didn’t need all this fancy food and champagne and suits and cocktail dresses. On the ride over Marlene was grumbling constantly. The last time she had worn a dress was for the last album release party.
The sit down dinner had just begun and Sirius got stuck between Albus and Pandora, neither of whom were particularly bad, he actually liked them. It was just that he wanted to be next to his Moons . Remus got the chair across from him, though, and he immediately intertwined their feet. Sirius smiled at him.
He talked to Pandora first, work talk devolving into conversation about her brother. He was an aspiring singer songwriter. “Well, you could always help him out.”
“You would think,” she sighed. “He doesn’t like my suggestions, I can’t tell if that’s because he wants something completely different or it’s just because he’s my brother.”
Sirius chuckled. “I get it. I think the whole reason my brother avoided music as a career or hobby, even, was because I made it my career.”
“Is Regulus talented?”
He was thrown off for a moment, because he never talked about Regulus with anybody but the band, Lily, and Remus. But he supposed that was the price of fame and coming from a family like his. “He was good at anything that he picked up but particularly violin.”
She hummed and opened her mouth, but all of the sudden he was kicked and he turned his head just in time to catch a desperate expression from Remus.
“Sorry, Pandora.”
He turned to join their conversation, just in time to hear Albus say, “So you like New York more than California?”
Sirius smiled, wondering how long he had been being questioned, he was very familiar with the man’s penchant for prying seemingly every piece of information out of someone. The first time he had met Albus, he had told him more than he had told James in a year. He didn’t know what it was about the man, something about how he started slow or his trusting and unassuming nature.
“Yes, but I don’t think I really feel tied to New York anymore, though my best friend is there.”
Albus smiled. “What about you, Sirius, did it take you long to grow accustomed to California?”
“It took me a bit to get used to having a car, especially after being able to take public transport here, before I got famous.”
Albus nodded and he opened his mouth, but he turned his head sharply and he grinned. “I didn’t realize you were married, Remus.”
Remus looked down, confused for a moment. “Oh yes, I am, recently.”
He hummed loudly. “That’s a rather atypical engagement ring.”
“Ah, yeah, my spouse is a rather,” his eyes flickered to Sirius for barely a second, “atypical person.”
“Are they back home in New York?”
Remus’s eyes went to Sirius again, he was asking—what Sirius wasn’t sure. But everything would be out soon and he was pretty sure that Albus was queer anyway, he nodded.
“He’s actually here.”
“Recent indeed, then.” He smiled, and surprisingly he didn’t press it.
Waterloo Station
Every Friday night
But I am so lazy
After dinner, Remus and Sirius separate ways for a bit and when they found each other again, they were both slightly drunk—but not enough to where they couldn’t control each other, or so Sirius was. It couldn’t even be called frisky or overly affectionate, but it was just different than how Remus usually acted. Except, he always had been a bit more something when he was high, so maybe this was an extension of it.
It was inconspicuous at first. He dragged Sirius over to a dark corner and threw an arm around his shoulders, talking and barely slurring his words. Remus even talked to their publicist—that Sirius never talked to because Lily was the middle man—making real conversation about music of all things, Sirius contributed where he could, but he was distracted. Remus’s hand kept slipping down from his shoulder, to waist, and at that moment, to his ass. He could care less about people seeing, rather he was getting ideas. And the alcohol was lowering his inhibitions and making it harder to resist just jumping Remus right there.
Don’t want to wander
I stay home at night
But I don’t feel afraid
Eventually the woman walked away and Sirius moved even closer to Remus, feeling his breath on his face. “Moons.” He whispered, entirely unsure of what he was going to say. He had the urge to beg but Remus seemed as desperate as him at that moment. Until the hand moved back up, to a very appropriate place on his back. He didn’t like it one bit. He let out a whine.
And then he was fucking mocked, with a gentle and smug coo coming from Remus, “Oh, baby.”
He narrowed his eyes, fully aware he was pouting. “You’re toying with me.”
Remus made a so so sound. “Wish I could dance with you now.”
He smiled wide and unabashed. “Soon.” He whispered, leaning closer, “soon.”
Suddenly there was a hand pulling him back and he thought it was Remus, but it wasn’t, because James was there. He looked stern, “Unless you want to be in the news soon for kissing a guy, then you better stop.”
Sirius crossed his arms, “The team, they’re all—”
“Sirius, the bartenders, the caterers, the fucking reporter, the guests of—”
Remus tapped him on the shoulder. “Wanna go to the bathroom, baby.”
He grinned, “Let’s go, Mr. Moons.”
As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset
I am in paradise
(Sha-la-la) Every day I look at the world from my window
They walked, sides rubbing up against each other, and once they got there, it was only a second after the door was locked that they were on each other. Just like when he was high, he was still a good kisser while drunk, all passion and a little rough around the edges but they were quite literally about to fuck in a bathroom, that’s what it was all about.
Remus was surprisingly gentle when he was taking off Sirius’s tie and pants, careful and methodical. He gave quite the opposite treatment to the rest of him, gripping hard and sharp teeth coming down over his skin again and again until he was sure he was going to bruise. When Sirius went to take off his shirt—rip it off—Remus stopped him, whispering,
“Gentle, baby?”
“Why, not, you’re not with me.”
Remus hummed knowingly. “Your clothes are nice, they deserve to be treated with care.” He ended his sentence with a bite to his collarbone.
He gasped, “I’m not nice?”
He shook his head. “No, you’re pretty, so you deserve to feel it.” Another bite. “Now, my pretty little baby, can I suck your cock?”
“Not gonna,” he gasped as a dry hand wrapped around him, “fuck me.”
“Not here, my baby deserves the best. I’m gonna suck your cock now.”
And then he dropped to his knees. Out of all their time together, somehow, Sirius had never seen Remus on his knees for him. It was a sight all on its own. He brought his cock to his lips, sticking out his tongue, and licking it, eyes staring wide into Sirius’s—as if he was daring him to do something. He had to look away, trying to suppress all of the sounds, but he quickly gave up when Remus’s tongue started playing with the underside of the head.
(Sha-la-la) But chilly, chilly is evening time
Waterloo sunset’s fine (Waterloo sunset’s fine)
Millions of people
One of his hands reached out and tangled with the hairs at his root, barely pulling or guiding, rather, holding on. When Remus took him all the way down he bucked his hips forward without meaning to, “ Sorry, sorry ,” he began, already out of breath. Remus didn’t move for a moment, however, keeping him to the root. As he did pull away, he removed his cock fully, keeping it in his hand, and there was a line of spit connecting it to his lips. But it broke after a second.
Remus looked at him sternly, “ Stay still .” There was a glint in his eyes, playful, teasing.
“ Yes Moons .” He whispered and it was only a second before his cock was fully enveloped again. Remus was particularly talented—and maybe it was because he was tired or the whole night was filled with slight anxiety or the fact that Remus had been teasing him in front of everyone but he was getting close, and fast. “ Moons, Moons, ” he begged, unsure if he wanted him to go slower so he could make the feeling last or faster so that he could come.
Swarming like flies ‘round
Waterloo underground
But Terry and Julie
In the end it didn’t matter, it was only minutes, probably not even that before he was crying out, far too loudly, and stumbling nearly on top of Remus. His vision went out for a moment. He was so dazed that he was barely aware when Remus tucked him back into his pants and rested him against the sink. When Sirius fully came back to himself, Remus was kissing all over his face, whispering things such as pretty baby and so lovely .
He chuckled, wondering if Remus was even drunk or if was just suddenly frisky. Sirius looked down and noticed that Remus was still hard, he reached out and ran a finger across his clothes dick. It was barely a gasp, but that was the best thing to compare it to, Remus grumbled next. “You gonna do something?”
“Don’t know,” he lied, “don’t wanna ruin my nice clothes.”
Remus huffed and Sirius seized up to kiss him. The kiss was slower, more tender than before, and Remus gasped into it as he reached down and squeezed his crotch. Sirius completely pulled away after, pushing Remus back just enough to slip onto his knees.
“Baby, your clothes,” he said in a worried tone.
Sirius snorted. “Thought I was serious, huh ?”
Cross over the river
Where they feel safe and sound
And they don’t need no friends
He undid his belt which looked like one of James’s and pulled down his pants. His cock sprung out and nearly hit him in the face—nearly. He wanted Remus to come quick, he needed that because people were bound to notice him missing, but it was hard to look at Remus’s cock and not want to worship it. He licked up and down the sides before playing with the tip.
It was satisfying. With every flick of his tongue Remus’s breathing grew more labored and if he did something particularly good like suck on the tip he was rewarded with a moan. Watching Remus fall apart was like watching something condense and condense and condense until it exploded. It didn’t take long before Remus exploded, he had barely started to take his full length—or as much as he could—when he came, hands going to his own hair. Sirius wondered why because he liked when Remus messed with his hair.
After swallowing all of his cum, he stood up, fixing Remus up, his clothes and his hair, as best as he could. When he looked back at his face, his husband was smiling at him. “So pretty.”
Sirius bestowed him a quick peck on the lips.
As long as they gaze on Waterloo sunset
They are in paradise
Once they made sure it wasn’t completely obvious what they had done, they left the bathroom and walked into the main room of the bar. It looked like they had just served dessert and Remus’s eyes went wide as he saw a waiter coming by with a piece of chocolate cake. He grabbed it and offered some to Sirius, he would’ve accepted, but it was only a moment before the reporter was in front of him.
She smiled and he supposed it would’ve made anybody else fawn, but only his Moons did that for him. “Oh Sirius, I was looking for you. Can I ask you some questions?”
“Of course.”
She got out a small notepad. “So what is your favorite song on this album?”
He frowned. “If you’re asking the one that’s most meaningful to me, that would be Honey , but the one I’m most proud of,” he frowned, “ Honey or Your Eyes, and the one I like the best is probably Honey or Darkened Mood .”
She smiled, writing down swiftly, “Is it safe to assume that you wrote Honey ?”
He nodded, stealing the fork and bite of cake out of Remus’s hand, muttering, “Sorry Moons,” and handing him the fork back.
“What is Honey about?”
“Someone that I love very much.”
Waterloo sunset’s fine
Waterloo sunset’s fine
Waterloo sunset’s fine
Sirius’s nose twitched first, then he licked his lips, eyelashes fluttering for a second before they fully opened. It was interesting—borderline addictive—watching Sirius take in the world every morning. His eyes were tired and heavy, expression slightly confused until a soft smile overtook his features. He always whispered something along the lines, morning Moons or hi Moons. This morning was no different.
“ Hey Moons .” His voice was groggy and just as tired as he looked, also a tad bit deeper than usual.
“Morning Sirius.” He whispered back.
It was their moment, slow and languid as Sirius moved to cuddle into his side, and soon they were kissing, deliberate and unrushed. Between kisses they talked in hushed conversation. “You excited?” Remus asked.
“Always excited to be kissing you.”
“Sirius.”
He giggled against Remus’s lips. “Yeah, but more in an accomplishment way. Still gotta—”
Or it was their moment until James burst in, “Station—god, are you two always kissing? Radio station 97.8.”
Sirius dove for the radio beside his bed and turned it on within an instant. Remus didn’t understand how he could jump into action that quickly, but he did. James was gone and some familiar lyrics in a familiar voice came on.
“. . . Hive mind
Until I found you
Sweet lovin’ like honey
Oh, oh, oh, honey
Warmth and thoughts dripping
Like honey
Like honey”
“And that was Honey , by the Marauders,” the radio man said, “Released at midnight and it already seems like it might be one of the most popular songs of the year.” Sirius turned to him with wide excited eyes. “You have to love Sirius Black’s voice, don’t you, Tom?”
“Absolutely Mark. When you got it, you got, and he’s got it.”
Sirius made a slight jumping movement on the bed.
“I love how you can tell the emotion of the song solely based on his voice. What are your favorites from this album?”
“I suppose that would be Altruistic and Darkened Mood .”
Mark said, “We have different tastes because mine are Honey and Your Eyes .”
Sirius reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing hard. “You’re amazing baby.” He whispered.
“I do love the guitar on Honey , James Potter is skilled.” Tom said.
Mark hummed. “And we can’t forget about Marlene McKinnon’s vocals, especially on Darkened Mood . She doesn’t sing a lot, but when she does she makes you listen.”
“Yes, and that controversy with Peter Pettigrew and the Snakes worried a lot of their fans, but I think they proved all of them wrong with this album. Mary seems like a talented addition.”
“It does make me wonder if some of these darker songs are about Peter.”
Tom said, “That does seem likely doesn’t it, especially Darkened Mood . I wonder if they will release another press statement.”
Mark commented, “Whether or not they do, I feel like this album upstaged all of the drama surrounding it. I can really see several of these becoming massive hits.”
“I think so too. I cannot wait to go home and listen to this album again and try to dissect it.”
Mark laughed. “Yes, yes. I hope that book does come out so we can get some insight into their writing process.”
“I heard it is coming out by late August.”
“Oh that is exciting.” Mark said, “And now we have another also by the Marauders, Altruistic.”
Sirius practically tackled him, laughing and kissing his skin, emotion so powerful it was practically washing over Remus. “You’re so fucking amazing, Sirius.”
“That was,” he giggled, “that was just one radio host. We won’t know until the newspapers and the charts and the—”
Remus kissed him. “I know. I know because you’re fucking amazing.”
“Thanks Moons,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against his. “Thank you for everything Moons. Now c’mon,” he grabbed his hand, pulling him out of bed, “We gotta celebrate.”