Work Text:
The world never ceased to come up with new ways to screw over Lucas Lee. First, his whole career was blown open by that stupid movie. Then, he lost his house and all his money pretty quickly, so he had to move in with his new best friend, Gordon, and get a job at a coffee shop with Julie, Gordon’s girlfriend. Fine. Everything was whatever. Except when he got fired from the coffee shop because he punched one hole in the counter. He still wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do in that specific situation. Some dipshit decided to scream at him because the espresso machine was broken. He tried in every acceptable way he knew how to de-escalate the situation, but said dipshit couldn’t stop yapping until there was nothing left he could think to do except punch something . This wasn’t an acceptable excuse in the eyes of management though. Whatever. He did miss the massive amounts of fans that came to pay attention to him and give good tips though.
In lieu of the coffee shop firing him, he found a part-time job at McDonald’s. As a janitor of all things. So much for stardom now. He never claimed to be the brightest book-wise, street-wise, or common-sense-wise, but he knew he had to keep this next job, so when applying he decided it would be best not to go for a customer service position again. Ergo, as unfortunate as it was, janitor was the only option.
He needed to keep this job not only because he needed money in general, but specifically because he was trying his best to get out of Gordon’s house and get his own place. Sure, living in a penthouse with him, Matthew, and Julie was fun, but they were starting to cramp his style with all their cute-evil-overlord-throuple crap. It’s not that he hates them or anything, it’s just that sometimes he doesn’t really want to stay up until 4 am watching anime while the three of them make out on the couch next to him. Plus, it’d just be nice to have his own place again.
Though he was motivated for now, it was hard to stay on the grind when he didn’t particularly like working in the first place. He couldn’t find a single upside to his job other than when he got to watch his ex rival, Todd Ingram, openly sob while eating a shit load of chicken nuggets at the same time every weekend. It’s always comforting when you’re down to know that some asshole has it worse than you.
Though he didn’t necessarily hold a grudge against Todd, and he was well over Ramona, his inner-fourteen-year-old self was having a ball watching the guy who stole his girl fall apart.
At least, that’s how it was for a good while. After a few months it just got sad. Especially when he noticed that Todd started consistently getting fries instead of nuggets. Lucas also noticed that he looked like he’d gotten back in shape too. He was back to being vegan, working out, and apparently had his powers back too, but he was still wallowing just as hard? It was a low so low Lucas started dreading Saturdays, but was also endlessly curious about how such a powerful guy who was good looking enough to get any chick, or person anyway, could act so pathetically. It made him so uncomfortable his whole body started feeling weird whenever he saw Todd, even outside McDonald’s. This extra reason to hate work was the last thing he needed.
He contemplated saying something to Todd, but was worried it would turn into something weird. Instead, he asked Gordon what he should do about it, but he also had no idea what to do, and just asked why he cared in the first place. Lucas decided to drop the subject because the question made him feel awkward for reasons he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He quickly ended the conversation with the excuse that he had to take an antacid, which wasn’t completely a lie since his stomach had started feeling weird.
Even though Gordon was a loser he was one of Lucas’ few friends, so they hung out a lot. Which was ok because hanging with him was fun. Lucas was really surprised, Gordon always seemed like the type to have a huge stick in his ass, but he turned out to be the coolest friend Lucas has ever had.
The league was still a thing, and all the exes still showed up for the meetings every Wednesday. Most only came for the snack bar though, courtesy of Matthew. They weren’t really as driven as they used to be because no one was really obsessed with Ramona anymore. Everyone seemed to just get what they needed to get over her during her journey to find Scott, so the league didn’t really have much direction anymore.
The exes only recently realized how taxing it was to be so obsessed with Ramona. Post-Scott Pilgrim fiasco, everyone had more free time, got new hobbies, and started being nicer to one another. Even just the air in the league got less intense, but it sort of felt like a series that continued after it was meant to be over. They stayed loosely together as Gordon, Julie, and Matthew tried to reconstruct the league with a new objective. The current topic they had been stuck on for weeks now was what they should change their name to. Leaving the rest of them stuck in sheer and utter boredom for two whole hours, for example, in today’s meeting.
“‘The Powers League’ is obviously the perfect f#cking name to go with here! Not only does it have my awesome f#cking name on there, but it also highlights the fact that we’re powerful f#ck. It’s literally so obvious, people!” Julie declared, vulgarly.
“Not quite, Julie! A more literal approach to this is necessary, which is why ‘The League of Reformed Evil Ex-Exes’, ‘TLREEE’, is the obvious option and has been the obvious option this whole time! Also, as much as I love you and your name, don’t you think it’s a little vain to want to put your name on our league?” Matthew countered.
“Both of you, please , don’t fight. I don’t understand why you think you have to fight over these mediocre names when ‘The Fearsome Geese’ is the only correct answer here.” Gordon added, putting himself in between them.
They were likely getting nowhere because the whole debate was just the three ‘leaders’ going in circles with their ideas, getting too heated, realizing they’re getting too heated, then making out to apologize until someone gets sick enough of it to say something. All this ad infinitum until the meeting ran out of time, so much so that everyone else had given up trying to get a word in about five or six meetings ago. Of course, today’s meeting was no different.
Especially as of late, Lucas had been paying little attention to their squabbling because Todd, the notorious McDonald’s vibe burglar, always sits across the table from him. Acting completely normal. No tears, no food, not even a sniffle! He acted so normal that Lucas sometimes wondered if he was just faking it to screw with him. Lucas kept reminding himself that that was impossible because Todd wasn’t a good enough actor to make fake tears seem that real. This was, unfortunately, a real problem that was gonna bug him until he did something about it. He would get second hand… embarrassment? No, emasculation was more suitable. He would get second hand emasculation every time he went to work forever and ever if he didn’t figure something out.
The three leaders argued on through the meeting, and Lucas continued to pay them no mind as he inconspicuously glanced from Todd to the wall, as if trying to catch him slipping up but no slipping came. He couldn’t take it anymore. This was the umpteenth meeting in a row he’d done this stupid song and dance of secretly wondering about Todd from his seat across the table while Todd glanced back at him occasionally. He decided he’d suck it up and finally pull Todd aside and resolve the issue, whatever it was, after the meeting.
Their meetings ended at 5:30, and Lucas was embarrassed to admit that as the time drew closer he felt ready to explode from the massive amounts of energy he had welling up in anticipation. He tried to not stare directly at Todd the whole time, but it was a real struggle. Thankfully, Todd didn’t notice because he’d been waiting out most of the meeting by scrolling through his phone under the table.
Finally, after many many excruciating minutes, there was only thirty seconds until the meeting was over and Lucas was counting every last one.
Lucas stared at the clock, anxiously watching the skinny second hand tick with each agonizing second in the countdown. He watched and counted for what felt like a million lifetimes until finally, five, four, three, two, one-
The timer on the table went off!
“Oh, well shit. We had a rather unproductive meeting today, didn’t we? Not to worry everyone, we’ll get this figured out by next week’s meeting. Geese, you are dismissed.” Gordon concluded. Everyone groaned at the nickname and started making their way to the elevator. Lucas had to put actual effort in to get up without making it seem like the seat of his pants was on fire, thank God he used to be an actor.
He kept his eye on Todd without seeming conspicuous. Everything was going smoothly so far. The elevator sent them down to the bottom floor and everyone got out. Easy. Everyone was walking to their cars, the perfect opportunity. Right now was his only chance,
“Hey Todd, you mind holding up a sec?”
“Yeah, what is it?” Todd responded.
Oh shit. Oh shit. He blanked? That never happened, he was an actor. Lucas hadn’t planned this far ahead. No, he had to pause the time so he could think. Line!
“Uh…” He said awkwardly.
“...What?” Todd asked, getting confused. Play it cool, Lucas, no need to make it awkward yet.
“Uh, we should go into mine or your car for privacy. I have to tell you something, but I don’t wanna spill your beans to anybody else.” Lucas said smoothly.
Todd glared at him guardedly, “What’s this about?” He asked.
“It’s about you! Look, I already told you I don’t wanna embarrass you, so we need to go to a car.” Lucas insisted.
Todd looked him up and down for a moment, sizing him up, “Fine, but remember Lucas, I have my vegan powers again. So don’t think you can try anything.”
“Yeah, I know, you won’t need 'em, come on.” Lucas said as he started walking towards his car, motioning for Todd to follow. He skeptically trailed him.
He hopped in the passenger side while Lucas got in the driver’s side.
“So?” Todd asked, impatiently.
“Well…” He wasn’t entirely sure how he should even start, let alone how to talk his way through the conversation. He considered Googling it, but decided that would take too much reading.
‘Oh, shit.’ He thought to himself.
“What, just say it! If you’re gonna blackmail me, don't hold me in suspense!” Todd was growing increasingly annoyed at Lucas, who was staring at Todd like his thoughts were a little too fast for him.
“Well uh…” Come on Luke, say something, anything! “I work at McDonald’s.”
“...” Todd eyed him in confusion, “Ok? Wait- is this about that time they gave me an extra thing of fries at the drive through and didn’t charge me? Are the McDonald's executives after me?” He asked anxiously.
Again, Lucas grasped desperately at his thoughts, but the more flustered he became the harder it was to make his mouth move properly, “It- uh-, I saw you. I mean I see you in there. Every weekend. And you… cry.” He blurted out, cringing hard.
It finally hit Todd what the conversation was about. “ What? ” He barked defensively. Not a second later his face fell into a deer in headlights expression and he went silent. He and Lucas blinked at each other blankly for a moment. He broke eye contact, ashamedly, then quietly said while looking down at the floor, “Is what I’m doing that obvious?”
“Yeah dude, did you think people couldn’t see you?” Lucas asked bluntly.
Tears started welling up in the eyes of the poor blonde as embarrassment overwhelmed him. He buried his head in his hands as his entire face went red.
Uh oh. This wasn’t part of the plan. He said something wrong and now Todd was upset. He felt a slight pain in his chest watching him. He sat there awkwardly watching as Todd tried not to cry and avoided eye contact.
Lucas pulled his few wits together to make up a quick response, “Uh… You ok?” Apparently he’d left all his acting training at the meeting room.
“I’m fine!” Todd lashed at him, humiliated, “What do you want me to pay you to keep this from a secret, I don’t have much but I can give you what I’ve got-”
“Dude- dude, stop! This isn’t blackmail! I couldn't use it as blackmail anyway because it’s not even a secret. I’m tryna help you. Look, this… crying in public thing is so pathetic it makes me wanna quit my job even more than I already did, as if kids yaking in the ball pit wasn’t enough. Therefore, it’s my problem now, so I’m just trying to do something about it.” Lucas explained, struggling to hold eye contact.
“If it really is your problem then tell me how to fix it, because I’ve been trying to figure that out for months now!” Todd snapped.
“What do you think I’m tryna do here?” Lucas asked defensively.
“Be an asshole.” Todd sneered.
Lucas scoffed, and huffed, and rolled his eyes several times, directing his attention out the window to avoid eye contact with him. Todd glared at him intensely for a moment, then looked down at the floor like he wanted to burn a hole through it.
Todd couldn’t take the silence anymore and began rambling, “Well I hate to break it to you, but there’s nothing that can fix it except Wallace! He’s the love of my life, and living without him is no life at all. I’ll never feel sparks like that again and after having a taste, life feels drained of all color and meaning.” He lamented.
Lucas was getting annoyed and just wanted to fix his problem here and now but Todd was being a serious pain about it. Not to mention hearing the brokenness in his tone made chest ache so much it was hard to breathe, but the stupidity of his words made his head hurt so much he wanted to make Todd stop breathing. Could he be any more frustrating?
“ Holy fucking- Dude! ” Lucas pulled at his hair in frustration, “You two had a three day fling! I may not have ever felt sparks before but a fling is a fling and they never mean anything more than that. I know it, like… I don’t know. This is stupid! I’m no good at talking about feelings, my dad always told me it was sissy shit. Just tell me something I can do to fix this.”
“One, you wouldn’t say that if you had ever felt sparks from the Wallace Wells before. Two, if you weren’t good at talking about feelings, then what made you wanna do this in the first place?”
“I don’t fucking know! I couldn’t just sit back and let it happen, what else was I supposed to do?”
“Why not?”
“Why not what! ”
“Why couldn’t you just let it happen? This isn’t even helping!”
“Then fine, dude. Cry about Wallace for the rest of your life. ” Lucas scoffed at him.
“Yeah, that’s what I was gonna do. So if you’re not gonna tell Wallace, and there’s nothing else for us to talk about, I’m just gonna go!” Todd spat, then he started reaching for the door.
What? Leave? He can’t leave. Lucas can’t let him leave. They’re not done.
“No.” Lucas caught his other hand, he paused as Todd simply stared at him in shock. “I’m not done! It’s not just about… all that, I’m actually kinda… eugh.” He trailed off into a mumble.
Todd, caught off guard, took his other hand off the door and fumed silently at Lucas.
Neither of them said a word. Todd was the first to break the silence,
“So… What does that mean? ‘Kinda’ what?”
Lucas thought about it for a moment, remembering his thoughts earlier. “I dunno. I just don’t like the thought of… a super powerful vegan guy crying about some gay-bitchy twink. I get second-hand emasculation.”
“Damn. Sounds like a you problem, bud.” Todd replied saltily.
“Yeah, well it’s an even bigger you problem.” Lucas threw his rebuttal back in his face. “You’re the one crying about catching feelings for a shitty whore, I wanted to help, I just don’t know how.”
Todd paused, glaring at Lucas but taking a second to think.
He huffed, “Let go of my hand, your palm is sweaty.” He said, still annoyed but with less venom in each word now.
Lucas quickly snapped his hand back, “Sorry.” He said sheepishly. They averted any eye contact with each other for a few minutes by staring out the windshield and their respective windows.
Todd focused on the street outside the parking lot, “I don’t think Wallace is a shitty whore.”
“Well he is. From what I’ve heard about him, he sleeps around with anything remotely man-shaped. He steals women’s boyfriends on purpose and broke the hearts of half the guys in Toronto. If a girl did that, I’d call her a shitty whore. I mean it wasn’t his fault you didn’t know it was a fling, but he doesn’t even feel half bad. You might be a douchebag, but as a fellow douchebag, I don’t think you deserve getting your heart broken by a douchebag. I know what that’s like.”
Todd thought hard for a moment then spoke with a still sour and cynical, but slightly softer tone, “Fine. If you can’t talk but you’re willing to do anything else, show me something better than Wallace.” He made crass kissy faces at Lucas, who felt a weird feeling stir in the pit of his stomach.
As Lucas thought of what to say next, the pain in his chest turned into an odd throbbing sensation. His bones felt like wet spaghetti noodles and his cheeks started heating up. Why? He watched Todd giggle genuinely at his rude joke, thinking it was well timed and hilarious. It was the opposite of funny to Lucas. He felt deep loathing for the way Todd’s nose scrunched up and his teeth showed ever so slightly at just a small giggle. Loathing had to be the only way to describe the sensation of blood running hot through his torso, though when other people describe loathful hatred of anything they fail to mention the queasiness in their stomachs or the complete breathlessness of the feeling. Lucas’ entire body ached at the sight of him. He stared at him for a few seconds that seemed to last longer than history itself. Why does it hurt so badly to look at Todd right now? He felt something on the tip of his tongue that so desperately wanted to be said but he couldn’t figure out what it was to set it free. He bit his cheek gently, a small gesture of retaliation for making himself feel so stupid.
“Too gay?” Todd quipped nervously after what looked on his end like a long awkward pause. Lucas felt his face heat up. He thought for a moment about the ache and realized it had been present every time he’d seen Todd lately. It was dull and barely noticeable amidst the curiosity, self-centered annoyance, and contempt he felt about the state of him, but now it was suddenly stronger than ever and blocked out all other possible emotions.
“Why does it hurt to look at you?” Lucas asked before his mind could catch up with his run away mouth.
Todd was taken aback, he looked at Lucas, utterly perplexed. “What?”
Lucas went off profoundly on a tangent before he had the sense to stop himself, “My whole body feels weird when I see you lately. Especially when you’re crying. It also drives me fucking nuts to see you acting normal at the meetings after I watched you bawl your eyes out just a couple days before. And then I see you right now and you look… a certain way? It makes me feel like… I dunno, like… like something should be different. If that makes sense? Like something’s missing, and my hands feel weird and jittery like I need to do something. What the hell would you call that?”
“Shit man… I dunno. Do you wanna fight me?” Todd asked confusedly.
“No… Maybe? I don’t know. Probably not.” He thought for a moment. “I don’t think so. But I do wanna put my fist on your face, kinda.”
“So you do wanna fight me.”
“Nah, man. That’s not it, I’m telling you… Can I just put my hands on you? Like on your shoulders or something? I’m not gonna hit you.”
Todd thought about it and felt his own face get hot, he finally noticed the blush in Lucas’ face.“... I mean, I guess I can just kill you with my vegan powers if you start hitting me… So, sure…”
“Ok…” Lucas leaned over the center console and placed his hands gently on Todd’s thick shoulders. He unthinkingly rubbed his thumbs over them, completely entranced by the feeling of Todd’s figure in his grasp. He felt both his stomach and his face getting hotter by the minute.
“Lucas?” Todd said gently, “I think I know what the feeling might be.”
“What?” Lucas asked, his eyes reflecting absentmindedness.
“Do you like me?”
“... Can I try to kiss you?”
“Sure, fix my problem, Lucas.” Todd rested his hands on either side of Lucas’ waist sultrily.
Upon feeling Todd grip his waist, Lucas closed the gap between them and connected their lips with no hesitation.
The sparks were immediate. Todd was indescribably warm, his lips were ineffably soft, and his shoulders fit perfectly between Lucas’ arms when he wrapped himself around him to caress his back. Bright sparks and fireworks crackled louder and louder around them as they buried themselves deeper into each other's faces, progressively getting rougher as they continued. Lucas climbed out of his seat to sit on Todd’s lap, trying to hold themselves in place in an effort to make the moment last as long as possible.
He shoved his tongue deeper into his mouth, not daring to imagine afterward when Todd inevitably told him he didn’t feel the sparks. Unfortunately, Lucas couldn’t make it last forever and eventually they pulled away, panting wildly. Todd tried his best to catch his breath but to no avail with the large man on top of him.
“Hey- I’m sorry, Lucas, but you’re- crushing me! ” Todd grunted.
“Sorry!” Lucas let go of him and awkwardly slid back, Todd grabbed his shoulders and guided them both to switch positions so he was sitting on top of Lucas instead.
They looked deep into each other’s eyes, Lucas was blushing harder than what was usual for him but Todd’s entire face was practically glowing red. They were both too nervous to say anything more. Lucas carefully decided to swallow his pride and address the elephant in the room,
“Todd?...”
“Yeah?” Todd responded, feeling fragile and jittery.
“You felt… the spar-” Lucas tried to finish his question but was caught off guard by another, shorter kiss that sent more sparks flying.
Todd broke the kiss and hugged him tightly “I did!” He breathed, relieved.
Lucas felt unsure of himself, he wondered what they were supposed to do now. Staying like this forever didn’t seem so bad. He was suddenly hit with a realization that probably should’ve come before he kissed Todd, “Hey, Todd, don’t tell anybody but I think I like guys. Or maybe just you.” He said pensively.
“That’s cool, I’m not homophobic or anything, I support you.” Todd deadpanned, still not letting go.
“Oh, cool…” Lucas chuckled awkwardly, “You uh… Wanna come back to my place? It’s back where we just came from.”
“Fine by me.”