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My white Mazada RX-7 pulls up in an empty area of a dark forest. We stop a good distance away from the lightly guarded mansion we are tasked with infiltrating. Inside harbors a small mafia that needs to be eliminated before they can rise to replace my father’s prominence. The mansion itself is a wide, white, and gold two-story paradise; probably an old mansion they renovated since its weathered charm is still intact. Outside, the security staff matches the exterior’s colors, all shining white and gold. They all have intricate detailing on their weaponry and the bright colors make it seem like we are breaking into heaven. I look up from my hands to see the dusk starting to reflect in the barren trees' dark green and brown coloration. I adjust my bulletproof vest underneath my all-black suit and thermals while Kazuki parks the car on the soft soil. The crunch of the grass under the wheels stops, which snaps me out of my thoughts. I check all our weapons as Kazuki stares at me with an intensity I’ve never seen in him. It’s like he can directly see the fear that’s been weighing on me. I can’t look him in the eyes while my mind races like this.
“What’s wrong?” He looks at me up and down searching for a sign of emotion I refuse to give on my face. His gaze makes keeping my worries from him so much harder.
“Babe it’s nothing, let’s just-”
“Up pup,” he puts a hand up in the air stopping whatever excuse I was going to use dead in its tracks. “Don’t babe me. The scowl on your face is stronger than it usually is AND you were more distracted than normal on this ride. You weren’t even on a console this whole time! Something is bothering you and we need to be on the same page for this mission to go well. So spillllllll.”
His tone is playful but still sweet, his expression softens as he speaks. I can only look at him in my peripheral vision because his kindness won’t make this feeling that we should have never taken this mission better. Only worse.
“I’m… scared. I’ve had missions that were basically suicide compared to how easy this one is and I haven’t felt this… feeling in my stomach-”
“Look at me, Rei.”
I can’t deny him my eye contact when he asks so sweetly. He takes both of my hands which I just now realize are shaking and kisses them. He puts them against his warm chest and I can feel the bulletproof vest under his black clothing. His yellow hair frames his beautiful smile and his glowing orange eyes are filled with a hint of worry but also reassurance. I soften in his touch.
“We have each other babe, we will be fine. This is the last assassination job we are taking from Kyuutarou. The money is to open a restaurant with Miri and leave this alllllllllllll behind us. We will make it home before the New Year’s ball drops. Okay?”
“It’s just…”
‘I don’t want us to lose anyone else’ is what I want to say. I want to say that after the death of my father and so many others, the chance that it’ll be our turn this time paralyzes me. But I bite my tongue because those types of thoughts will distract me from this mission. I quiet them and I say something close to the truth, hanging on to his statements like they are the truth and my orders.
“It’s so much to lose now more than ever...”
“Well, let's hurry up and kill this target.” His face brightens which calms the shaking of my hands a bit. “I’ll make you and Miri your favorite dishes afterrrrrrrrrrrrr.”
I chuckle and put one of my hands through his soft hair. It calms my nerves as I take a deep breath to relax my body.
“Okay, let’s go.” We grab our weapons and hop out of my car. We walk in front of the vehicle and lean against it. Kazuki puts on binoculars and I use my sniper scope to see what to expect from security.
“Two on the ground and two above outside. I can handle the two above.”
“Then that leaves the two suckers on the ground for me. I did see some men on the inside, so it will probably be faster if I go in from the front and be the distraction s-”
“I’ll do that.” I can see him stop looking through his binoculars to give me a look and argue but I continue. “You can surprise them from the back when I break down the door. We clean out the first floor then we take out our target in his study on the top floor.”
He sighs, telling me he will relent to my request, only to get this mission over with quicker, I assume. If it were up to me, he would take the top floor and meet me at the stairs after I clear the ground floor to maximize efficiency. The last thing I want to do is give Kazuki any reason to go back and forth with me right now. I don’t want to let him out of my sight for long with me feeling like this...
“Then I’ll give you a signal to snipe those two. Wait a minute for me to get around and pick the locks on the back door after. I’ll get in a position to take those two down now.”
“Hey.”
I move my rifle into one hand to grab Kazuki’s hand with my other hand before he can move. I rub it as he tightens his hand in the hold. I move in to kiss him softly which he returns with the same passion. His other hand caresses my face as his lips make me lean into him more. As he breaks the kiss and lets go of my hand, my heart can’t help but feel something I can’t put into words. He searches my face for an explanation that I can’t give, so I fill in the silence.
“Be safe, okay?”
“As safe as I can be,” he chuckles, brushing his thumb against my cheek. “Be ready for my signal.”
His hand moves away from my face and he departs, to sneak close to the mansion. I get my sniper rifle ready during this time and look at Kazuki. He uses the trees as cover while he moves towards the front door guards. Kazuki counts me down with his fingers before he moves in to fire two quick rounds at the guards' heads. I follow by sniping the two other guards in quick succession. I put my sniper on my back with its strap and run towards the mansion entrance as he goes around back. I pull out my pistol and wait a minute before barging in. I shoot every guard I see with relative ease. With all of my training, baiting these rookie guards to leave themselves vulnerable during my attack is passive muscle memory. However, a couple of bullets graze me or hit my plating before Kazuki comes in and clears the rest of the goons out in the foyer. Usually, I can finish them before Kazuki can help, but my head is so stuck on that feeling that I take some hits. I need to get it together…
“See! You were worried about nothing, I checked all the rooms before I helped you and we are fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.” Kazuki beams while holding his right thumb up.
“We still have another floor, c’mon.”
Kazuki rolls his eyes and follows me up the wooden stairs as we take out all the guys we come across. During this, I take note of how bright the gold detailing of the siding is with the lack of decor other than furniture in the mansion. We go into each unopened room, alternating who opens it.
“So, you come here often?” Kazuki kicks open a door to find an empty bedroom.
“Are you seriously trying to flirt with me in the middle of a mission?” I kick the next door and shoot an underling and Kazuki takes out one before they can charge at me. We both back out of the room.
“Of course! There is no better time than a life or death situation than to flirt,” he gets his mouth close to my ear and nibbles at my earlobe. “You’re hot covered in blood~”
He whispers like a siren trying to seduce me and I playfully push him away.
“You are ridiculous. Have I told you that?” I snicker as he positions himself to kick the next door.
“Awww! I love you too. Well, this is the last door before the big boss. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to kill-”
I see the light reflecting on a blade coming towards Kazuki as he kicks the door open.
Shit, I’m too late…
It stabs through his platting before I can shoot them dead. The man stumbles to the ground taking his now bloody knife with him while Kazuki is caught by the doorframe. I put both of my hands on his shoulders and search the wound for bleeding which I see.
Luckily it’s not major…
“You okay? I told you to-”
“Be careful. Yeah yeah yeah, it’s just a scratch. Good thing that’s the second to last door. I wouldn’t leave you alone for the final boss. He just winded me a bit. That’s all.”
I let his shoulders go and he stands up, squeezing my hand before moving in front of the double-doored room. For the study of a mafia boss, carvings of angel feathers in the gold wooden door frame are not something I would expect. I look at Kazuki trying to put on a brave face as he tries to discreetly hold his bleeding wound, unlike him I can see right through his facade. He nods at me before I kick the door down… only to see our target lying in a pool of blood.
“Well, that was anticlimactic. I’ll look around the room for electronics we can grab for a bonus and you take a picture of his body.”
I walk close to see the body and it looks weird. Blood is pooling out from where I assume the wound is. He has a knife and gun close to his body but I can’t tell where his bullet wound is. I see something near the documents shine from light reflecting on it, taking my attention away from examining the body for a quick second…
“REI MOVE!”
Gunshots ring out. My bullet ends up in the target's head. The knife once next to the target is lodged in my ankle. Another bullet is in the area where Kazuki was stabbed….
“KAZUKI!”
I KNEW! I K N E W something was wrong with the body. Why didn’t I check it faster? I’m so stupid!! All the worrying I did for him and I was the one who fucked it up…
“Damn it!”
I limp towards Kazuki whose blood has started to form a puddle on the ground. I hold him, trying to put pressure on his wound. Holding him, I now know what the feeling I couldn’t name before is... Despair.
“He used fake blood packs. He threw them away in the trash in the closet.” He coughs up blood as I continue my efforts to stop his bleeding. My ankle’s blood starts to mix with his blood puddle.
“I’m sorry, I should have checked for a wound closer before looking at the documents. It was a rookie mistake. I should've been better, but I can fix this! I’ll go get the-”
He grabs my hand and rubs it which stops me from going anywhere.
“No. I’ve lost too much blood. Heh, that motherfucker got us good. I beat I look hotter than you covered in blood.” He has another coughing fit and I rub his back to comfort him.
“Babe-”
“Just listen to me!”
I stop speaking and just hold him. Seeing my tears hit his chest, he speaks.
“When we first met I thought you were annoying and stuck up… And you were, but I have grown to love the man you grew into. You are not the killing machine you were raised to be. You will be an even better dad to Miri than you already are. Fuck whatever you were trained to do, do what you want… When Miri is old enough to understand what happened tell her that I will always be proud of her no matter what she does… I made a cookbook that I was going to surprise the two of you with. It’s in my underwear drawer. Use those recipes when you cook. I promise you if you just make her just pancakes, I will haunt you so haaaaaard..”
Though I can barely see through my tears Kazuki is still trying to make me laugh in his last moments… Typical.
“I love you Rei.”
Love… Love can’t even encompass what I feel for you. I will kill anyone you ask me to. I am devoted to you so much that I’ll die for you. Please don’t leave me like this. Not now. Not after we are so close to having everything we have ever wanted…
Please.
“I love you Kazuki, I love you so much it hurts.”
He kisses me with the last of his strength, tongues dancing together one more time. He brushes my cheek with one hand and plays with my ponytail in the other. I give the kiss all I have as he slowly loses consciousness. Eyes that were once bright drain of color as the light dims from his eyes. His limbs go slack and he breaks away from the kiss one last time. I caught his head before it hit the ground. Leaving me a bloody mess.
“Ha, ha HuH. Huh…”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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As I open the door, Kyuutarou and Miri greet me with Miri holding something behind her back.
“Papa Rei you’re back! I made you and Papa Kaziku matching New Year’s hats.” She beams as she shows them to me. They are made out of brown and green construction paper plus tape with her handwriting saying ‘Happy New Year’ on the hats. She then looks outside the door I have yet to close for a person she will never see again. She then looks at me with curiosity. “Why are you covered in red paint? And where is Papa?”
Kyuutarou and I lock eyes and shake my head, telling him all he needs to know. I kneel to Miri and give her a hug letting the breakdown I’ve been holding in during the drive spill out of me. Repeating the same words till my voice is gone.
“I’m sorry, Miri. I’m so, so sorry!”