Chapter Text
There are still days when he can’t believe his luck. Days when he goes to pick up Oikawa for practice as always and is surprised when the setter throws his arms around him and kisses his cheek like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and smiles that honest, happy smile that used to be so rare. Iwaizumi can hardly believe he gets to see this every day.
There are times when he wakes from a fitful sleep plagued with cruel nightmares, of Oikawa lying in a hospital bed, unmoving, and of the lost look of confusion in his eyes when he wakes, and Oikawa’s voice asking “Do I know you?” - those are the nights he wakes with tears drying on his face and fear making his heart slam in his chest. Those are the nights when he pulls out his phone and checks their last messages to make sure this reality is the real one, that Oikawa remembers him now, that Oikawa knows who he is and what he feels. Those are the nights that Iwaizumi is the one to text him at ungodly hours – and there are no words for the relief he feels when he immediately gets a reply.
But thankfully, those nights fade as time passes and Iwaizumi gets used to the fact that this is his truth now, that Oikawa knows him and cares for him and that Iwaizumi isn’t going to lose him.
And any thoughts he might have had about keeping their new relationship a private matter fly out the window the day after their confession, when Oikawa shows up at his classroom in the first break, practically throws himself at Iwaizumi and plants a kiss on his lips. Iwaizumi dimly registers a couple of girls squealing in surprise, but he’s far too busy blushing and struggling to push Oikawa off his lap to react. When Oikawa pulls away (on his own terms, of course, and far too late for Iwaizumi’s liking), everyone in the room is staring at them. Iwaizumi clears his throat and suddenly can’t hold eye contact with anyone, but Oikawa shoots their crowd of onlookers his most dazzling and dangerous smile and announces that “Iwa-chan is mine now, so don’t go getting any ideas.”
Iwaizumi is worried, for a while, that Oikawa publicizing their relationship like that could result in negative backlash – but the protests and disdain he does experience die down pretty quickly. Dating the most popular guy in his year (at least according to the girls) is challenging and comes with a fair share of jealousy, especially since some of Oikawa’s more aggressive fans can’t seem to accept the fact that Oikawa chose a guy over any of them, but he and Oikawa have the support of the team, and that helps. After all, Matsukawa and Hanamaki are fiercely protective and very vocal about it, and the others are quick to express similar sentiments (although Kindaichi can’t look Iwaizumi in the eye when he does, and Oikawa practically glares him down for no reason – or at least none that Iwaizumi can discern).
There’s something like a confrontation between the self-proclaimed leader of Oikawa’s fanclub, backed up by a handful of very dedicated members, and the volleyball club, about a week after they start dating. The girls are determined and angry, demanding that Iwaizumi and Oikawa break up – until Kyoutani slouches into the gym, late for practice but just in time for his naturally intimidating aura to tip the odds. Their Mad Dog is terrifying without even trying to be, and all it takes is an off-handed comment from him (“How the fuck is their relationship any of your business?”) to silence the crowd of disappointed girls, for the moment.
Iwaizumi notes with a slight tinge of distaste that, despite all that, Oikawa still gets the occasional confession from a hopeful girl who thinks she could win him over. It is rather satisfying to see him turn them down, though, somehow. Must be something to do with hearing him say: “I’m very flattered, but I’m already in a relationship. And I don’t plan on breaking up with my Iwa-chan anytime soon.”
And after the initial shock of “Oikawa is gay?!”, Iwaizumi is pleasantly surprised by how few people actually care, and about Iwaizumi's own sexuality as well – at least in his class. He even gets congratulated – the whole thing is kind of awkward – by someone on the basketball team, who tells him that he respects Iwaizumi for “being able to deal with all that.” It’s not patronizing, it’s an honest compliment, which is why Iwaizumi is so taken aback.
When he tells Oikawa about it as they’re walking home from practice, the setter bursts out laughing, but then his eyes narrow and he asks for the guy’s name. “I’ll keep an eye out for that one, Iwa-chan. Seems like he’s interested in you.”
Iwaizumi just rolls his eyes, and pulls Oikawa closer by the belt loop on his pants as they walk. “Oh, yeah,” he says sarcastically, “better watch out, ‘kawa, he might snatch me away.”
Oikawa huffs, crossing his arms and pretending not to notice Iwaizumi’s fingers holding him in place. “Who knows? I always gotta keep my guard up. After all, you have tons of fans.”
Iwaizumi actually stops in his tracks (forcing Oikawa to halt, too) and raises his eyebrows at him. “Me. A ton of fans.”
But Oikawa doesn’t look like he’s joking. Instead his mouth twists in distaste, and he sighs. “And you don’t even notice.”
Iwaizumi shakes his head. “What the hell, Oikawa.”
“Seriously? Kin-chan, and Kyouken-chan, and that beefy football player from your class – have you seen how they look at you? And now this basketball guy-”
Iwaizumi blinks at him. Everything about his posture, his expression, his words, it screams-
“…wh- Are you jealous?”
Oikawa doesn’t even grace that question with a response. He’s already turning away, but Iwaizumi holds on to him, pulling him back by the waist, refusing to let him leave without explaining himself because this is too important.
“Hey. You don’t really think I’d leave you for anyone else, do you?”
“…maybe someone who won’t forget you’re the most important thing in the universe,” Oikawa says bitterly.
And that’s when it hits him, with the force of running into a brick wall. That Oikawa feels guilty. That he’s blaming himself, doubting himself, like he’s prone to doing. That he’s really afraid Iwaizumi will change his mind about this.
Like he could. Like it was ever a decision he could have made.
And then Iwaizumi realizes that it is, actually. And that he’s made a choice he’s not going to regret. He increases the pressure on Oikawa’s sides, and makes sure the setter is looking at him before he speaks.
“Hey. Listen.”
Oikawa sighs, shaking his head. “Forget it, Iwa-chan.”
“No. Hey. You gotta listen to me. This is important and I need you to know.”
Oikawa runs a hand over his face, biting his lip as he cards his fingers through his hair.
“Oikawa.”
“…fine. I’m listening.”
With a huff of his own, Iwaizumi stands up a little straighter. “What happened wasn’t your fault. You know that, right?”
Oikawa’s eyes narrow in confusion. “I didn’t get hit by a truck on purpo-”
“That’s not what I mean. You know- you know I don’t blame you for forgetting me, right?”
Oikawa closes his mouth. Iwaizumi ploughs on, even though the words feel kind of heavy. He has to say this. He needs Oikawa to understand.
“It hurt, not being remembered by you. Because you’re… you matter so much to me. But that pain isn’t your fault. I was mad at you, yeah, but that was for… not telling me you remembered. I understand why you didn’t, though. And if you think there’s anyone, anyone at all that could possibly take your place… well, then you’re a lot dumber than I thought.”
He lets out a shaky breath, but Oikawa has started trembling a little, and he doesn’t look convinced.
“Tooru. Please. As if I could replace you. I’ve lo-“
And it’s still hard to say. The other day it hadn’t felt that difficult, but now...
He swallows, then tries again.
“All my life, you idiot. I’ve l- …I’ve loved you all my life. Don’t tell me you think that means so little.”
There’s a beat of silence. Oikawa bites his lip again, and lets his head hang forward limply as he leans closer to Iwaizumi, until his forehead touches the ace’s chest.
“…sorry,” he whispers, almost too quiet to hear. But Iwaizumi knows what to listen for. He’s always known.
“’s ok, dumbass. As long as you know now. Don’t doubt me.”
“Mmh.”
“Promise me.”
More silence. And then: “…yeah.”
“Good.” And he pulls away, exhaling in a sigh that’s more fond than exasperated when he sees Oikawa wipe his sleeve over his face.
“C’mon, Shitty-Tooru. Let’s go home.”
Oikawa coughs, and it could almost pass as a laugh. “Shitty-Tooru,” he echoes. “Really, Iwa-chan?”
Iwaizumi smiles. “You prefer Shittykawa?”
Oikawa turns away, pouting, and starts walking again – but not without grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand and pulling him along. Iwaizumi lets him, the smile not leaving his face.
“I’d prefer something cuter."
“Why? You’re plenty cute,” Iwaizumi says, before he can stop himself.
Oikawa squeaks, staring at him. “What?”
Iwaizumi gestures around helplessly with his free hand. “Well- I mean. Iwa-chan is fine because… you know. It’s so obviously a nickname that’s not… serious. If I started calling you something cute-”
Oikawa looks appalled – although it’d be more convincing if he wasn’t blushing scarlet. “You don’t think you’re cute, Iwa-chan? I beg to differ!”
“Uhm, no, I'm no-”
“...and that’s not fair!" Oikawa complains, cutting him off like he's having none of what Iwaizumi is offering. "You can’t just call me cute and insult me in the same breath!”
Iwaizumi smirks, squeezing Oikawa’s fingers. “Watch me.”
The setter just scowls at him, and they continue walking in silence for a while. It’s comfortable – warm and familiar. Iwaizumi doesn’t mind the quiet, but Oikawa is fidgeting.
“…what is it?”
“…”
“Oikawa. What.”
Oikawa looks up, and he’s still blushing – possibly harder than before. But he fixes Iwaizumi with his gaze.
“Tooru,” he says.
“Huh?”
“C-call me Tooru, Iwa-chan.” And then, looking down, he tacks on: “We’re. We’re dating, after all.”
Iwaizumi is caught off-guard – but then he laughs softly. “…I guess I could. You sure?”
Oikawa nods.
“…okay then, Tooru.”
And he’s proud that he doesn’t stutter.
They look at each other for a moment, the words hanging in the air between them – and then they both snort with laughter.
“Wow,” Iwaizumi gasps, “I’m not sure I can do that.”
“It’s p-probably better if you don’t,” Oikawa wheezes, holding his stomach. “So cute Iwa-chan, you were blushing!”
“Oh, shut up, dumbass!”
But as Oikawa continues to laugh, and Iwaizumi loses himself in the sound, and the way Oikawa’s eyes sparkle and his fingers tighten around their joined hands – he’s sure he wouldn’t trade this for anything. And he knows he’ll do everything in his power to keep this idiot close.
“…maybe I am a dumbass,” Oikawa allows. “But you only get to say it ‘cause I’m your dumbass.”
Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, ignoring the heat that’s rising to his face. “Whatever you say, Shitty-Tooru.”
“Mmh, so mean, Iwa-chan.”
“Only ‘cause it’s you.”
Oikawa moves in closer, briefly pressing his head into Iwaizumi’s shoulder.
“Stay with me,” he says. There’s vulnerability there, suddenly, and Iwaizumi hears it loud and clear.
But this is something he’s sure of. He’s pretty sure this is a promise he can keep.
“Of course.”
And that's all that really matters.