Chapter Text
These days, it's unusual to find Kankuro without finding Gaara in his shadow. Even Temari has commented on how their relationship seems to be on the mend after so many years of tension. They carry their secret privately, in little twinkles of their eyes, passing glances given to one another any time Temari mentions how well they seem to be getting along lately. She doesn't need to know. Nobody needs to know.
It's become a regular fixture of their nightly schedule. Almost like clockwork, Gaara will show up in Kakuro's room sometime between 10 and midnight, and ask to be calmed down. It's the euphemism they use for their playtime now, and once Gaara even said it boldfaced in front of Temari, that he'll need Kankuro's help calming down later. Kankuro almost choked on the tea he'd been drinking, but of course Temari didn't know their little codeword.
Kankuro has yet to actually penetrate Gaara-- it's another thing that feels like a step too far. He uses his fingers and mouth liberally, and Gaara does the same for him, but they've never actually had proper sex. Gaara rarely asks for it, he seems content with Kankuro's extremely talented fingers. And the few times he has mentioned it, Kankuro just says he's worried Gaara's too little. He doesn't know how to say that he's afraid if he fucks Gaara he might fall in love for real.
The frequency that they spend time together, their newfound inseparable nature, makes it all the more noteworthy when after they were called back to the leaf village to aid in a rescue attempt of one of their own, Kankuro seems to be... avoiding Gaara. For the entire trip back, Kankuro barely even seemed to look at or talk to Gaara. Not so much so that it was impossible to converse with him, but it's almost like their entire relationship reverted back to the way it was before they started "calming down" together.
But once they make it back to Suna, it's like Kankuro vanishes. He doesn't make any attempts to approach Gaara, and when Gaara tries to come to his room that night, he finds the door locked. Kankuro has never locked his door before.
It's strange, and frankly upsetting. Gaara finally, finally had something going for him. He was doing well. He didn't do anything wrong, he thinks. Maybe this mission had reminded Kankuro that Gaara's a monster on the inside. Maybe something had happened that had Kankuro more interested in someone else, maybe that Kiba boy he was sent to rescue. Maybe it's something else entirely. He has no clue, no way of knowing without Kankuro telling him. And he won't.
He glares down at the door, and presses his ear to the screen. He doesn't hear any movement, but he knows he's in there, which means he might be asleep. All the better. He's sick of Kankuro ducking him nonstop, and it'll be better if he doesn't see him coming.
Sand swirls and glides in the crack of the door, forming a sort of quasi-hand on the other side that's able to unlock and slide the door open. Gaara creeps in, slides the door shut again silently, and relocks it.
Sure enough, Kankuro is fast asleep in his bed. He sleeps in the nude, with only a thin sheet draped over his legs up to his hips. One arm stretched up over the pillow beside his head, and one draped across his chest, he looks casual as anything. Relaxed, even. As if he isn't avoiding Gaara and causing all this grief, the bastard.
Gaara pauses near the door, considering if he should go through with this. Maybe Kankuro is avoiding him for good reason. He ponders it for only a second, though, before slipping close to his futon. He lifts the sheet slowly, creeping beneath it. He's careful not to put too much weight on or around him too quickly. A hand curls around his shaft, holding him up so he can drag his tongue up the underside. He can't really watch his face from under the sheet, so he minds the way Kankuro's body reacts instead, to make sure he's not moving too fast. He wants Kankuro good and hard before he wakes.
Kankuro's thighs twitch slightly, and Gaara freezes, but his brother just lets out a slow sigh a moment later, still fast asleep. Gaara is able to work him over, and Kankuro's body reacts swiftly to the touch. His cock fills out, pulsing with blood little by little until it's shiny and rock hard. Gaara's little hands spread on his hips, and he hears Kankuro let out a sleepy groan.
In his sleep, Kankuro's dream shifts. He's on a rooftop somewhere on his back, just watching the clouds on a clear blue day in Suna, when Gaara approaches him to just sit square on his lap and start grinding. Kankuro can't move his hands for whatever reason, as if they're glued to the floor, leaving him at the mercy of his brother as he swirls his hips on top of him, getting him hard in a hurry. He can only watch in disbelief as Gaara kneels up and pulls out his cock to sit on it, taking him to the hilt in his pussy in one stroke. Kankuro's head tips back with a loud moan-- both in the dream, and in the waking world.
It's what Gaara needs to get braver. Kankuro's plenty hard, clearly enjoying the wet dream he's sparked in him. He starts to gently massage his balls, his head lifts, and he slides him into his mouth as far as he can manage. He doesn't want to gag or choke on him right now, so he stops short of the back of his throat. It doesn't stop him from sucking hard while he pulls back, all the way to the tip. He pops off lewdly, only to swirl his tongue around the head, then dive back down to repeat the whole thing.
Kankuro's breath quickens, his pleasure intensifying. In his dream, he watches as Gaara starts to bounce in his lap, riding his cock with a sort of energetic enthusiasm that a virgin could surely never pull off. But nevertheless, Gaara rides him like an old pro, as if he's been doing it for years. The sight of his tight little pussy swallowing his cock has Kankuro panting like a dog, finally able to grip Gaara's hips with both hands. In the waking world, his hands knead weakly in and out of fists.
His cock leaks into Gaara's mouth as he flips his brother in his dream, over onto his back. But in horror, he realizes suddenly that they aren't alone. That Rock Lee boy has wandered into the rooftop, and has just started talking to Gaara as if nothing is happening. And worse, Gaara just starts chatting back. Kankuro can't keep his attention even though he's actively fucking him, and when he tries to speak up to get Gaara to look at him or tell Lee to fuck off, his voice won't come out even though his mouth moves to the words.
With a start, Kankuro wakes, from a dream that had started so sweet, but turned so sour. He gasps, and in the moment of delirious confusion that comes from waking up, he feels another intense, wet pressure around his cock. With another gasp, this one of shock, he grabs the sheet and lifts it to look beneath.
There Gaara is, his mouth around his cock, sucking and swallowing around him like a damn treat. He glances up at him, he doesn't even look startled or embarrassed or ashamed- like this is so normal, sucking his brother off while he's asleep. He seems like he's going to release him at first, pulling back to the head, but he just swallows him down again.
"Fuck!" Kankuro grits out, snapping his teeth shut. He processes what he's seeing in an instant, Gaara somehow got into his room and is sucking his cock like he's being paid to do it. It's not the first time Gaara has sucked his cock, in fact Kankuro had very earnestly given him lessons on how to do it in the best way possible, specifically in the way Kankuro likes it to get him off the best-- and it's those exact skills that Gaara is using against him now.
He pushes at the boy's forehead weakly at first to try and get him to take the hint and back off, but he doesn't-- instead he just swallows Kankuro again, and sends a throbbing ache straight into his balls. So Kankuro pushes with more pressure, threading his fingers into Gaara's hair and pulling him up and off his cock by force.
"Gaara-- stop, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he grunts, his voice hoarse with sleep and pleasure.
Gaara gasps and pants as he's pulled off of him, looking almost annoyed that his toy was taken from him. He licks his lips and swallows, his hands squeezing the plush muscle of Kankuro's thighs. "You keep avoiding me. So I'm putting a stop to that." His brow furrows.
"Wh-- huh-- huh?" Kankuro gasps out, and it's all he can manage for a long moment as he just processes the absolute nonsense Gaara just said. Well-- it's not nonsense that Kankuro was avoiding him. He very much was doing that, but to unlock Kankuro's door? To let himself in, and start sucking his dick while he's asleep? If Kankuro wasn't so frustrated, it would be the hottest thing he's ever even conceived of. Still holding Gaara by the hair so he can't dive back down, Kankuro pushes up onto one elbow. "You can't just-- Gaara-- shit, am I gonna have to teach you about consent too?"
Gaara frowns deeply. "You wouldn't even talk to me- hardly looked at me. Was I meant to just accept that? Let you hate me again?" There's a hint of pain underlying, a glimpse into his mindset. That he might be this desperate for his brothers love. That he thinks that love was brought about solely by how Gaara can satisfy him.
That little glimpse into Gaara's tortured mindset has Kankuro groaning, and he reaches up to drag his hand over his face, still holding Gaara by the hair with his other hand.
"Gaara..." he grits his teeth. "Damn it-- I don't hate you. I just..." honestly, he doesn't even know how to explain what he was feeling that led him to avoiding his brother. Not only is it embarrassing, but it's frankly downright irrational.
Gaara's face softens slightly into one of sadness and confusion. "Then why did you start acting like it again?" He asks, heart clenching. "What did I do...?"
The thought that Gaara could think Kankuro had started to hate him again would be tragic enough, but he had to go and let himself into his room and start sucking his dick like that's the only thing that matters to Kankuro. The thought makes him almost sick to his stomach.
"You didn't do anything," Kankuro says. It's... not entirely the truth, but not entirely a lie. It's just too embarrassing to admit, it makes his stomach hurt and his skin crawl-- and it doesn't help that his dick is still so hard it's making it hard to think. Gaara being near him makes it hard for him to think. With his lips all shiny and his cheeks all flushed and his hair so soft between his fingers... he grits his teeth. "Would you just-- go and let me sleep?"
Gaara inhales, cogs turning in his mind for a moment and suddenly something comes down hard against Kankuro. Sand locks around his wrist like a cuff, pinning it down at his side. The one in his hair is similarly pulled away and pinned down with a shocking amount of force. Gaara raises himself, planting his pussy on Kankuro's hard cock, wedged between wet folds and his own abdomen. "Look- I can do more. Was I not good enough? I can be better if you just let me..." He grinds, and it's so damn much like his dream. Arms pinned, Gaara grinding on him with his cunt already drenched.
Kankuro is but a boy. A mortal boy with a mortal body that reacts instantly when Gaara grinds his soft little pussy against his cock. He throws his head back with a shout, and struggles instinctively against the sand pinning his arms to the bed, but it's so strong and the pleasure has made him so weak. His stomach swoops and bottoms out, and his cock lurches against his stomach, leaking a fat pearly drop that slides directly into his navel.
"Fuck!" he chokes, the muscles in his arms bulging as he fights against the sand that bends and pins both of his hands up near his head. All his bucking does is grind his cock between Gaara's velvet folds, which takes the fight right out of Kankuro's sails all over again in a vicious cycle.
Gaara pants softly as he grinds, and like his dream, suddenly lifts his hips to try to take him. Of course, it's not nearly so easy as Kankuros dream. He's tight, the stretch hurts- but it's one of the only times Gaara's felt pain. He finds he sort of likes it. He's barely an inch in him before he has to pause, body trembling as he forces himself to accept his brothers cock.
"Gaara-- Gaara, wait, don't--" Kankuro pants, straining against the sand as pleasure floods every synapse in his brain. It's the tightest thing he's ever felt around his cock before, squeezing the absolute life out of him, and every thought clear out of his head. He barks, his hips buck up without him meaning to, burying another inch inside Gaara. It feels like sin, it feels like torture, and Kankuro is a slave to two opposite thoughts-- one that wants his brother's virginity to be handled with more care than this, and one that wants to flip Gaara onto his back and fuck him like he means it.
Gaara yelps when he shoves deeper so fast, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Little tears prick at his eyes, but it doesn't stop him. He pushes down further, his hole burning and aching as he slides down. How wet he gets is saving them both, because as tight as he is, the way he takes him is still so smooth.
It's honestly good that Kankuro has gotten Gaara so used to stretching for his fingers, or he'd really be in trouble. Kankuro's girth is no laughing matter, and Gaara's hole is small and tight. Still, he should have had at least a finger or two of prep before jumping right to Kankuro's cock-- not that Kankuro's in any position to stop him now. He's literally pinned down against his will and unable to fight it as Gaara slides down and finally bottoms out on his cock.
Kankuro throws his head to the side, burying his face in his own bicep and pillow, panting harshly. His cock throbs inside Gaara, achy and stiff as a tent pole, and again his hips give another involuntary lurch upwards. Desperately he moans, "Ah-- ah-- fuck-- Gaara-- stop, it's not-- oh shit--"
But he doesn't stop, doesn't let him go. Doesn't stop until he's fully seated on him, taken every inch Kankuro has to offer. He twitches around him, whimpering as he forces his body to relax so the pain can pass. Kankuro can see his own cock so clearly, bulging in his brother's stomach. Gaara has to brace his hands on Kankuro's shoulders just to keep from collapsing and having a breakdown from being so full. The whole thing's so overwhelming, so intense, Gaara can hardly think of anything but satisfying Kankuro.
"Gaara!" Kankuro grits his teeth, suckerpunched right in the willpower by the sight of his own cock shadowed in Gaara's skinny belly. He's so small astride his lap, and stuffed so absolutely full on Kankuro's cock, left just to tremble on his lap and fight just to breathe. "This isn't-- how-- fuuuck--" he moans, helpless, the tendons in his neck bulging as he fights against the sand again. "Stop, just-- stop--"
Gaara grits his teeth- it's like he hears Kankuro, but doesn't understand him. Doesn't get it. "I- I want to be enough-" he pants, gripping his shoulders. "Is this good enough? Am I- am I good enough now, Kankuro...?" He tries to rock his hips, relishing in the dull ache it causes. "I told you I can- I can be better, I can be enough-"
Kankuro shouts again when Gaara swivels his hips and grinds down on him. It shoots a bolt of lightning straight to his brain that whispers just one thing: submit. Why fight this when it feels as good as it does? Gaara's tight around him, and relatively willing. But those words make Kankuro's stomach turn. He's pulled in two directions by the feelings in his body and the ones in his heart, but he can't do anything while he's pinned.
Unable to move his arms, Kankuro flicks his fingers to summon a chakra thread, and sends it out to connect straight to Gaara's clit from his fingertip. He flicks his finger a second time to yank, pulling sharply on the bud until Gaara keens, and Kankuro feels his control on the sand waver as he's distracted by pleasure. Kankuro takes the chance without hesitation.
Breaking out of the iron grip of the sand isn't easy, but Kankuro is strong, and Gaara is so surprised by it that all he can do is gasp and stare wide-eyed as Kankuro sits up... and then grabs him by the waist and flips. Gaara's back hits the bed hard enough to knock the wind out of him, and then Kankuro is leaning over him and pulls out-- only to thrust back inside. Kankuro is only a mortal boy, and gods above Gaara feels good.
"You are enough," Kankuro snarls, frustrated and at the end of his rope. "It's that fucking-- Lee kid!"
Gaara had been fully prepared to ride him the entire time. To let him- make him- cum inside of him. So he can prove to him that he's good enough, that he's worthy of Kankuro's love and attention.
So when he's flipped and dominated, there's a sense of relief. Gaara moans, quickly adjusting by now to take the rough fucking. "L-Lee?" He asks, barely able to think with him fucking him. He moans again, grasping his shoulders, his legs wrapping around his hips. "What about him?"
Kankuro growls in frustration when Gaara has to go and act coy like he doesn't know. Wrenching Gaara's hands off his shoulders, Kankuro returns the favor by pinning both his hands to the bed beside his head. He grunts in his chest as his hips strike into Gaara's again, spearing him open on his cock.
"Don't act like you weren't making doe eyes at him all the way back to the Leaf, I fucking saw it," Kankuro growls. It's honestly humiliating that things have gotten bad enough in his heart that he'd made a complete 180 on his original stance that he was just preparing Gaara for a life with someone else by giving him an actual relationship with his own body. Now just the sight of him walking so close to that Lee kid and chatting the whole back half of their mission makes his blood boil. But to actually have to admit it out loud? His hands tighten around Gaara's wrists as he nails him to the bed, bearing his teeth like a hound.
Kankuro's not wrong. Gaara was glued to Lee's side that whole trip back. And it's because he likes Lee, genuinely. Of course, this is in direct conflict to what Kankuro said before. He wanted him to find someone else, this whole time. And Lee... he's the first one to really give Gaara a chance like that. But it's so obvious Kankuro's jealous now. It's almost funny.
Of course the humor of it is lost on him when he's being railed. He's hot and dripping on Kankuro's cock, hands flexing uselessly under his grip. "You-hahh- you're jealous of him...?"
"Shut up!" Kankuro hisses, bearing most of his weight on Gaara's wrists. "Just-- shut up!"
He is, that's exactly the problem. Seeing Gaara practically climbing into Lee's lap to check on his injuries on the way back to the Leaf made Kankuro so irrationally mad that he wanted to rip off his stupid bowl cut. The worst part is there's absolutely nothing objectively wrong with Lee. He's polite and kind and chivalrous and seems to genuinely enjoy Gaara's company. And Kankuro wants to punch him in the fucking teeth for it.
Part of Kankuro had really wanted to preserve Gaara's virginity for someone else, so he could share that moment with someone he could actually be with, but now that they're here, he's glad Gaara broke into his room to sit on his dick. The thought of letting that Lee kid take this from Gaara makes him sick to his stomach.
"You're mine," Kankuro growls, hips churning, pleasure mounting. Gaara's cunt grips him with every thrust, sending him hurtling towards completion. "You were mine first, understand?"
Gaara cries out as he's fucked that much harder, his legs quaking on either side of his hips. "I'm- yours-" he's edging closer, closer to tipping, his pussy twitching and tightening around him. "Mmnn- hahh- you want me? You want me- to be yours- I'm - I'm worth it-?" He's almost begging for confirmation. Terrified he'll drop him, avoid him again.
Kankuro grimaces, both in pleasure, but also at the pain those words cause. They strike him somewhere behind the ribs, forcing him to confront the fact that his actions actually had consequences. Damn him, but the way Gaara has been turning his act around since the chunin exams has actually been having an effect on Kankuro's heart. But even so, he hadn't thought about how avoiding Gaara would hurt him, all he selfishly thought about were his own feelings.
"Yeah," he grits out finally, and lets go of one of Gaara's wrists to instead grab him by the jaw, and point his face in the right direction. "You're worth it."
Since they've already crossed one line, he might as well cross them all, and with his hand collared beneath Gaara's chin, he slants his mouth across his younger brother's in a furious, toothy kiss.
Gaara sobs into the kiss, tears pricking at his eyes again, but this time it's not in pain. It's relief, his heart clenching with a mix of joy and sorrow. That he's lacked love for so long, never been worth it before, and now Kankuro's changed that. To finally hear that he's wanted...
Kankuro has felt Gaara cum countless times on his fingers or on his tongue, the way his channel seems to tighten. He finally gets to feel it on his cock instead, feel him squeeze and milk his shaft. His freed hand comes up to cup Kankuro's jaw, then clutch at his hair.
It's enough to tip Kankuro over the edge too, just moments later. It's a relief that Gaara isn't even old enough to have bled yet, because there's no stopping the way Kankuro cums inside his younger brother.
Panting into the kiss, Kankuro's tongue slips into Gaara's mouth to kiss him even deeper, and even though the younger boy is inexperienced to say the least, with this being his first kiss to date, it still feels like sin when he tries to give it right back.
Finally their pleasure subsides, and Kankuro pulls out with a hiss. He watches Gaara leak his cum sluggishly, dribbling out of his shiny, well-used hole, and the sight of it makes his dick give another achy throb before he finally collapses onto his stomach with a groan.
After a moment he mutters, "There's so much fucking sand in my bed."
Gaara pants heavily, trying to come back to his senses. He feels gooey and boneless, brainless, like he could just melt into the bed. He can feel cum oozing out of him, it makes him tingle down to his core.
The comment about sand makes him scoff, snapping him out of his fucked-out daze. His wrist flicks, and sand puffs out and off the futon. "There..." He sighs, rubbing at his face.
He really just did that. Did this. He fucked Kankuro- or rather, Kankuro fucked him. Kankuro said things that made Gaaras heart race- he's scared, still, that now that the moments passed, he'll take it back. In his experience, words mean nothing. People will lie about caring for him, seemingly for no reason. He doesn't look at him, just staring up at the ceiling. "...Did you mean it...?" He asks, voice quiet. "What you said...?"
Kankuro sighs softly. He knew there was no way they were getting out of this without talking about it. It's the entire reason he was trying to avoid Gaara to begin with-- because talking about shit is hard, and painful. It would have been nice to just avoid it forever, but he knows that's not realistic. Sighing again, he sits up properly, the sheet draped across his lap for modesty, and he glances down at the awestruck boy at his side.
"I know it's stupid," he mutters after a moment. "It's not like we can actually be together. And we started this as just a temporary way to kill time, gain experience and blow off steam, but..." He glances back down at the younger boy. "The thought of you with anyone else makes me wanna kill something."
Gaara's head lulls to the side, looking to Kankuro finally. "I thought... that's what you wanted...?" he presses, searching Kankuro's face. "Do you really want me? Or do you just not want Lee to have me...?" he asks, heart clenching again.
Kankuro groans, lifting his knees up and the sheet with them, wrapping his arms around them. "I don't know," he mutters, and then grinds the heel of his hand into his eye. "Fuck. I'm so fucked up. I should want you to find someone else. Cause if you're with me, then you just have to pretend to be alone forever-- and so do I. This is fucked up, what we're doing, what I'm doing to you. The right thing to do would be to cut it off so you can have something normal with that dork from the Leaf."
"I didn't ask what the right thing to do was," Gaara says, voice flat and rough. "I asked... If you wanted me. If you meant it." He swallows. "I just don't wanna lose you again... It tore me apart, going back to the way things had been... I don't want to be hated anymore."
Kankuro turns to look at Gaara with a pained expression on his face for a moment. Gaara looks so scared, in that way only he can look. Every ounce of that pain is carried in his eyes and his eyes alone, in the furrow of his scarred brow and the wet gleam in his seafoam irises. Kankuro reflects that pain right back at the younger boy, his dark brown eyes tortured and confused. On the one hand, he wants for Gaara to have a normal life. He deserves to have a normal life, after everything he was put through. But on the other hand, how could Kankuro ever trust anyone to handle Gaara's fragile heart better than he could? He's one of the only two people who have been there from the very start, and still persist. Nobody could understand Gaara better than he could. Certainly not that idiot with the haircut.
Which is also why he knows he could just tell Gaara until he's blue in the face that he doesn't hate him, but it wouldn't be good for much. Words aren't as good as actions, when it comes to Gaara, so instead he twists at the waist, plants a hand on Gaara's chest, and leans down to give him another kiss. This one isn't fervent in the heat of the moment, easily dismissed as a random act of passion. This one is calculated and intentional, and downright soft.
It's only when he pulls away that he says, "I don't hate you. You aren't gonna lose me."
Gaara relaxes into the kiss, relief washing through him. He cups Kankuro's face, small hands framing his jaw. It's good enough for him right now, enough to reassure him in the moment.
"Thank you..." he mumbles, just looking so... soft. Soft, and tired, but he doesn't even get to sleep.
Kankuro realizes that only belatedly, as he rolls over to face his brother more completely. As he lays on his side, he loops his arm over the smaller boy's waist, as if to trap him there.
"I know you can't sleep, but... do you wanna stay here a while?" Kankuro asks. "At least until I fall back asleep? Or you don't have to, if you don't want--"
Gaara relaxes into his arms, taking a long, slow breath. "... Do you... do I have to leave when you're asleep...?" he asks in a low murmur. He doesn't want to leave, even if it means being prone in bed for so many hours.
Slowly, Kankuro winds his other arm beneath Gaara's neck, pillowing him more completely in his embrace. His heart squeezes at his question.
"You don't have to go," he says, laying his palm flat across Gaara's stomach. "Just don't fall asleep."
Gaara relaxes considerably, pleased by his confirmation that he's allowed to stay. "I won't," He promises, pressing closer to him. "... Good night, Kankuro."
Kankuro would have thought that he would have a hard time falling asleep. Even if Gaara is reformed in a sense (or at least in the progress of working on reforming) he's still a demon. There's no good sense in falling asleep with a demon in his arms, especially one that would kill him in a blink if he accidentally fell asleep-- and yet Kankuro finds himself incredibly comforted by the weight of his brother in his embrace. In fact, he's pretty sure he's never slept better.