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The dreaded

Chapter 15: Hard love

Summary:

Unable to decide on the love of two men. You seek out Hosea for answers.

Notes:

Bit of a weird twist to the story. If I’m not feeling it in a couple of weeks I’ll delete and repost a new version.

Chapter Text

You sat and talked with Hosea for over an hour and explained to him the proposal Andrew has come up with. He sat and listened.

“Y/n, do you love Andrew?” You looked at him. “Yes, you know I do.” Playing with the ring around your neck.
“Well, do you love Dutch? I’ve seen the way you look at each other?” You look at him with a trembling lip.
“Yes.” You said very quietly.
“Well my darling girl you know what to do. I for one will not judge and either will the others.”
“Thank you Hosea, you hug him.”
You walk back in and Andrew and Dutch bolt upright upon your entrance as well as they can do with crutches.
“Sit down. You’ll do yourselves an injury.” You smile and sat between them.
“I’ve decided to take you up on the offer only if you’re both ok with it? I’m very nervous about it and I’m not entirely sure what to do. Andrew I know you suggested it but, Dutch are you ok with it?” Holding his hand.
“I…I…would like that.” He smiles.

— — —

2 weeks later

You knock on Dutch’s door. “Give me a minute.” You heard him grunt then swear.
“Are you ok?” You say with some concern.
“Oh y/n, come in.” You open the door, You see Dutch sitting on his bed visible in pain. He stands up and proceeds to fall to the floor. You run over.
“Dutch, are you ok? Where does it hurt?” You hover your hand over his bear back scared to touch the healing wound. He was still black and blue from the beatings he had received.
“Everything hurts y/n.” He curls up in to a ball. You grab two pillows. Picking up his head and placing it under him. “It’s ok I’ve got you.” You pull the blanket off the bed and stroke his head.
You lay down next to him with the second pillow. “Dutch look at me.” He opens his eyes. You run your thumb along his cracked lip. He looks into your eyes and slowly move closer you and pushes his forehead against yours. You feel his hot breath against your lips. “You don’t have to do this.” He said backing away slightly. You grab the back of his head with some hair in your hands as short as it was and began to kiss him.

(Smuts starts here)
He starts to unbutton your shirt kissing your neck and proceeding to nibble your earlobe. You moan quietly. You slide your hands down his shoulders to the front his chest. He lets out a little giggle as you run them lightly past his ribs tickling him slightly.
His tongue makes its way into your mouth. Tasting just like it did two weeks ago.
Your hand makes its way down into his pants. A groan makes its way into your mouth. He pulls away and unbuckles his belt, you remove your shirt and pants. Picking up everything and putting it on the bed he leads you over to the edge of the best and sits down. You straddle his waist. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He moans.
“Move up the bed.” You say. “Umm would you like to be a little experimental?” He smiles. You are more dominant in the bedroom and so is he you suspect.
You grab his scarf and kiss him passionately. “Only if you want to. Apparently if you’re blindfolded the sensation increases.” He looks hesitant and nods. “You can use these too if you want?” He hands you two silk scarves. You looked at him puzzled. He laughs. “I didn’t have time to buy handcuffs now did I?”
“Are you sure? With all that happened I didn’t think you wanted to be?” You have a small smile and concerned look on your face. “Only if you want me too.” Grabbing his arms and placing it above his head. You secured his arms and pulls to make sure. You place the scarf over his eyes and wave your hand over to see if he can see you.
“This makes me feel a bit vulnerable.” He smiles. “If you want me to stop you say “lavender” and if you want to be untied say “fox” he repeats it back to you.

You make your way down the bed light scratching your nails down his abdomen. He moans quietly. You grab his erection and slowly drag your tongue up to the tip. He slowly rocks his hips moaning. You had him in your mouth. You look up and see him gripping the scarves and arching his back off the bed.
“I need you. Please. I need you…. I need to be inside you.” He says breathlessly.
You kiss his tip and feel to see if you are ready. You move up the bed and whisper in his ear. “Are you ready, darling.”
“Please” he whimpers.
You angle yourself above him and slowly take him in. You hadn’t had someone that big before and forget to breathe as you reach the base.
“Oh fuck.” Dutch grits.
You start to rock back and forth. Both moans in unison. Dutch is now pulling the head board and gripping the restraints tightly. You smile and drag your nails down his chest and avoid and wounds.
He moans loudly. You pick up the pace. “Fox” he says breathlessly.
You undo the restraints and pulls the blindfold off. He tackles you to the other end of the bed pulling out in the process. You sulk in protest.
He kisses you with such passion and continues to make his way down your body until he makes it to where you were hoping. You whimper, he looks up and smiles and spreads your flaps. “So beautiful.” He drags his tongue up the center and reaches the clit and lightly poked it with his tongue. You moan loudly. He continues to lick slowly making circles around the clit suddenly you feel fingers enter you. You scream out in pleasure. “Don’t stop!” You arch you back off the bed. He curled up his fingers inside you. You begin to tighten.
“I think… I think I’m going too…” your voice trails off. You moan loudly he gets up and places himself back into you. His head resting against yours and kisses you intensely, you reciprocate the emotion. He’s riding you hard, grunting at each stroke. He moans in to your mouth. “I’m close” he says, do you want me to cum out of you?” You moan. “Please… in…. I’m close again.” You scream he ride the high moaning loudly.
Both separate, breathing heavily you pull the sheet up against you. Dutch moves your hair away from your forehead and curls it around your ear and places a kiss to your lips. “I love you.” He says looking into your eyes. “You don’t need to say it back. I just want you to know.” He lays back and holds your hand.
You look at him, roll to your side and cuddle into him. “Dutch.” You look up and he looks at you. “I….I love you too.”
He places a kiss on your forehead and smiles.
You both fall asleep.
— — —

He hears your screams for him. He see the poker being pulled from the fire. Dutch struggles in the restraints. He’s struggling to breathe with the gag in his mouth. “No..” he’s shaking his head. The poker comes right up to his face. Colm laughs. “Hmmm maybe this is wasted on you? What about the girl over there? She deserves another brand doesn’t she?” Dutch pulls on the restraint and with muffled screams try’s to call Colm back to him. He sees the poker strike your back and with a flash colms back to him driving it into his chest. He’s screaming.

— —

Dutch wakes in a cold sweat, bolt up right he looks to you. You are finally sleeping soundly. He gets out of bed and starts pacing the room. “It’s all a bad dream, it’s all a bad memory.” He crawls in to the corner of the room and starts rocking.
“It’s a just a nightmare he’s not got to hurt us.”
You wake up to Dutch mumbling and get out of bed. “Dutch?”
“He’s not…he’s not.” Dutch now has his head in his hands and is shaking.

“I’m just going to get Hosea.” You say to him. He grabs your arm. “He’s not going to hurt us.” With tears in his eyes and continues to rock back and forth.
“Dutch, darling it’s ok. I’m here. I just need some help is that ok?” He nods and curls in to a ball.

You rundown stair to hosea’s room and knock. Hosea wakes suddenly. “Y/n” I gets up. “What going on? Its 3am.”
“It’s Dutch, something is wrong. I need your help.” You both run up the stairs careful not to wake up anyone else. Hosea knocks on Arthur’s door. “I need your help son.” Arthur wipes the sleep from his eye and gets up and sees you.
“Come with me.” You open the door quietly.
Hosea sees Dutch in the corner. He knells down in front to him. “Dutch my boy. It’s me.” Lifting his head up to look in his eyes.
“They are coming for us. Tell them to stop.” He grab hosea’s wrist.
“Arthur, go and grab Swanson and if you can get one of the boys to go to town and get the doctor.”
Arthur runs down stairs.
“What’s wrong? Is he ok? What’s happening.” You start to cry.
“Darling girl, this is PTSD. It’s what happens when the mind can’t handle the reality it has faced and makes you have a nervous breakdown. You suffer from a form of it and so does Andrew. But this is severe, I need you to talk to him and calm him down.”
You cuddle up next to Dutch and wrap your arms around his back.
“What’s going on? Ohhh shit.” Andrew looks extremely concerned. “Is it…”
“Yes, Andy. Unfortunately I should have seen it. He kept saying he was ok.”
Swanson enters the room. “What do you need.” He looks to Dutch. “Ah, on it. I’ll be back.”

He comes back I with a needle and tube to tie around Dutch’s arm.
“I’ll need you to hold him steady.”
Dutch sees a few people start to approach him. He stands up and puts you behind him. “Keep away.” He says with angry in his voice.
He’s holding a knife with a tight grip in his hand.
“I’m not afraid to use this.”

“Josiah, John… a little help please.”
Josiah runs past Mary-Beth with just his underwear on and sprints up stairs. The girls follow him. “Stay here, you don’t need to see this.” He shuts the girls out.

6 against 1 is a decent number.
“Slowly fellas.” Hosea moves slowly to Dutch. “We only want to make sure you are ok.”

Arthur grabs Dutch’s left arm with the knife in it and manages to get him to drop it. Dutch immediately starts to throw punches. Andrew, John and Josiah tackle him to the ground and hold him and Swanson works his “magic”.
Dutch looks up at you “please tell them to stop…..lavender…. Sssssssstop” and he passes out.
“That should keep him relaxed until the doctor gets here.” Orville sighs.
“Help me lift him on to the bed. Josiah, Andrew can you stay here tonight just incase.
Arthur and I will be next door sorting things out.”
“What about me?” You say still standing in the corner.
Hosea walks over to you and hugs you. “Well dear girl. I need you to stay with Dutch. I want you to keep him cool enough with a wash cloth so the doctor can check him. He’s going to be ok.” You look back at Dutch and see his face resting peacefully. Andy walks to you and holds your hand and walks you to the bed. “Just sit here and hold his head like this. It’s going to be ok.”

“Someone call for a doctor” Dr. Alphonse Renaud enters the room.
Hosea explains what happened and every thing that you three had gone through.
“I’ll attend to Dutch first but, I’d like to have a look at both of you two as well.”
“Dutch, open your eyes for me. Can you tell me where we are?” Dr Renaud lifts up this eye lids.
“He’s quite warm, it be honest from what you said he has got a disorder from what has happened but I suspect he may have an infection somewhere. Can you help me strip him and roll him over when I need.” He grabs magnifying glass from his bag and proceeds to check the front of Dutch’s body. “Can you roll him over.” The doctor looks in shock at his back. “Ah, there it is.” He points to a wound that is discoloured. “I’ll need to drain it and dress it. Then I’ll give you some medicine to give him for a couple of weeks.”
They placed a blanket over Dutch and a cool wash cloth on his head.
You sit there and watch holding Dutch’s hand and not letting go.
“Ma’m” the doctor asks you. “If you’d like to come to with me for a check up.” You look back at Dutch.
“I tell you what I’ll come over to you. He’ll be ok miss and your friend Andrew is going to be ok. He’ll need a bit of assistance to move until that leg is fully healed. I’ve given him some cream to help with the scaring which I’ll give to you and Dutch too.
Now could you lift your night gown off for me?”
You look nervous. “It’s ok ma’m, don’t be worried. Would you like my wife to come up here she’s a nurse and is my wagon down stairs. You nod.
Hosea pipes up “would you like Susan as well? He’s not going to do anything you don’t want to.”
You begin to stress out as you take the nightgown off. Trying to cover up. The Drs wife holds your hand.
“Perhaps something to help she says.”
He gives you a small vile to drink from. You pull a face in disgust at the taste and start to feel light headed.
“Where is… Andy… is he..” you fall forward.
— — —
“Mr Matthews, I’m going to offer you a proposal. I’m going to offer my services as a doctor to you and your caravan in return for us to be able to stay here. We are self sufficient and have our own wagon as you can see. Once you’ve had enough of us just say and we can move on. But, I’m going to say that these three will all require on going treatment for at least a couple of months.”
Hosea looks at Arthur, Josiah and John. Arthur nods “We’ll take you up on that.” Shaking his hand.

Dutch wakes up and stares to the ceiling in a dizzy state. He looks to his right and see you. “Y/n”… “y/n” he rolls to his side and reaches for your hand. You don’t stir having still being out by the medication.
He feels pain in his back and winces. “Y/n” he squeezed your hand. You start to wake up. “Dutch.” Your mouth was dry you blink to try and wake up.
“What happened?