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“What do you mean you don’t like A Christmas Story?” Darling looks up in shock from laying against Trench’s chest. “That movie’s a classic!”
“It was alright.” Trench shrugs. “I just didn’t think it deserved a twenty four hour rerun every Christmas.”
“It’s the Christmas movie! I can’t believe you. I know it came out when you were older, but still it must’ve reminded you of when you were young. Didn’t you ever want something so bad for Christmas you begged to have it when you were a kid?”
“Well sure. All kids have that happen.”
“Well then what about you?” Darling hums in thought and smiles. It's hard to picture you so small. I bet you were adorable.”
“I don’t know about that.” Trench leans down and kisses Darling on the nose. “Only one person in this house looks cute, and he's laying on my chest now.”
“Don’t change the subject.” Darling kisses him lightly on the lips. “C’mon. Just tell me. What did you want so badly for Christmas it manages to surpass Hollywood's Christmas classic?”
Trench rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t something per se and it was a long, long time ago Casper.”
“Tell me anyway.” Darling grips Trench’s shirt. “I like hearing about your childhood. You don’t talk about it very often.”
Unable to resist Darling as usual, Trench caves. “As you know it was just me and my father. He worked long hours so I mostly managed myself. When I was a bit older those toy cars came out.”
“Hot Wheels?”
“Yeah. I remember seeing them in a catalog. There were all sorts of models and colors.”
“Huh. I never took you for a car guy.”
“I’m not.”
“So why the toy cars?”
“I thought they were cool, sure, but I guess it was just what they represented. When I was thirteen, my father had been putting a lot of overtime into his job. He promised me we’d take a trip together.” Trench sighs wistfully. “I guess I just pictured us in one of those fancy cars driving somewhere together. Just spending time together.” Trench leans his head against his hand. “I guess it's a bit silly now.”
“It’s not silly at all!” Darling sniffles, overcome by the story. “Did you guys take the trip?”
“We did. And he got me one of those cars.” Trench smiles down at Darling. “It was a good Christmas.”
Darling settles back onto Trench’s chest. “I’m glad. I take it back, that's a much better story than the movie.”
“See? Now what was your favorite Christmas memory growing up?”
“Hard to say. Christmas was a big deal at our house.” Casper cuddles closer to Trench. “I know one of the most memorable ones was when I thought I didn’t get what I wanted. I opened nothing but books and sweaters. Those of course were good gifts but…”
“Not what you really wanted?” Trench chuckles, “You don’t take disappointment well.”
“Hey!” Darling pinches Trench in the side. “I’m getting better! But I was a bit…spoiled back then.”
Trench tries to stifle a laugh and fails.
“Okay I’m still spoiled but that's not the point! One year I really wanted a chemistry set for Christmas. I left notes and magazines out for my parents to easily find, but when all the gifts were unwrapped and the tree laid bare, it wasn’t there.
“I was trying and I’m sure failing to hide my disappointment as I helped my dad pick up the discarded wrapping paper and boxes. We took them out into the garage, and I almost missed it in my anger. My father called to get my attention, and this time he gestured to a set up in the garage. It was the chemistry set.
“They hid it well, all things considered. I never suspected. I was so happy. Like bouncing off the walls, spending all day in the garage kind of happy.” Darling smiles. “My parents always teased me about it though. And rightfully so. They always made the holidays something special.”
Trench tightens his hold on Darling.
“It's nice talking about the past like this,” Darling murmurs against Trench’s chest.
“Yeah.”
Somehow holding Darling close to him, resting together on their couch makes those old happy memories sharper and more clear. But most of all, the pain from loss seems to lessen. The absences are less noticeable. Their loved ones will never be completely forgotten, but the two of them will make new memories. They will spend their holidays together. Making each one better than the last.