Archive of Our Own ^beta

my love was as cruel as the cities i lived in

everyone looked worse in the light

     he’s alone when it happens.

     if izuku had been around, he would have snuck off, leaving the guy to face the camera on his own. if kirishima had been there, the redhead would have charmed the lady past what was considered appropriate. if todoroki had been by his side, he’s sure he wouldn’t have met the reporter in the first place.

     as it is, he’s considerably distracted (a bad habit in its own right, for a soon-to-be-graduating hero student but who can blame him when there’s an entire display of dreamcatcher merchandise in front of his eyes?) and it takes basically no effort for the woman to wedge herself between him and the keyring he’s eyeing and go, “bakugou katsuki, right? what do you have to say to our viewers about your longtime boyfriend?”  

     he blinks. “what?”

     usually, he turns around and walks away when he’s approached by paparazzi in public. he’s not doing actual hero work yet and he doesn’t fancy being interrogated about his personal life by someone who’s just digging around for the next big scoop, but the question takes him off-guard in the worst way possible.

     “oh, come now, don’t be shy!” she laughs loudly, in a manner that reminds him of midnight when she’s closing in on her prey. “after that bold display in front of your audience, people are simply dying to know the details!”

     “um,” he says, more irritated than confused at this point. “i think you have the wrong person.”

     “so, you’re denying it?” the woman demands, shoving the mic in his face as the cameraman edges closer. katsuki steps back to put some distance between himself and the duo. “you can’t honestly think that you’ll be able to keep it on the downlow anymore!”

     “bakugou?” a new voice interjects before he can even think of replying to the baffling statement. “what’s going on?”

     he turns to find todoroki at his shoulder, a look of disinterest on his face that he reserves for ninety nine percent of situations that happen to him, as he stares down the mic-and-camera-couple. izuku and uraraka are a few steps behind, with iida and yaoyorozu bringing up the rear. with their appearance, katsuki figures that he’s going to be passed over for whoever will be more forthcoming with their answers than he’s proved to be, so far.

     “ah, todoroki shouto!” the woman exclaims, brimming with glee. “how do you feel about bakugou katsuki’s public rejection of your romantic relationship?”

     fucking what.

     it starts like this.

     he’s in the kitchen, busy with a simmering pot of mapo tofu while yaoyorozu takes care of the rice. it’s comfortably quiet, apart from the sizzling and the sound of knives on wooden boards, and it feels like the perfect end to a week full of classes and emergency drills. he’s glad to have the girl as a cooking partner whenever their turn as designated dinner suppliers rolls around because she might have needed a few basic lessons in the beginning, having all her meals cooked for her before, but now, they work in perfect tandem, and on the days they commandeer the kitchen, it always has the least chaotic aftermath and virtually no mess to clean up after.

     it isn’t long before the peace is tossed aside in favour of entertainment, though. ashido and kaminari announce their entrance in the loudest manner possible, footsteps thumping rhythmically, as if paying homage to the sanctity of the kitchen, even as the electricity quirk user shoots finger guns at the phone screen facing him, courtesy of the pink-haired alien.

     “and, here we have yaomomo and bakubro making some really delicious stuff!” kaminari crows. “hashtag dorm life, amirite?”

     “c’mon guys!” ashido urges. “say hi to the peeps!”

     “hello, everyone!” yaoyorozu dutifully waves, smiling sweetly. bless her heart. “oh, are we live right now?”

     “you bet we are!” kaminari says, grinning. “i mean, can you believe how famous we are?!”

     “i can believe how stupid you’re being,” katsuki says, shooting a glare at his friend. “get the fuck out before you trip and take down everything.”

     “you haven’t said hi yet!” kaminari protests. “do it, kacchan! greet your fans! they’ve been waiting for years!”

     he turns back to the stove, lifting a hand to give ashido’s phone screen the finger.

     “dude!” kaminari says, disbelief palpable in his voice. “how do people find you being rude, cute? how is this fair in any way?”

     at that very moment, a pair of familiar arms encircle his waist and a warm body fits in behind him, seamlessly. “bakugou, can i have cold soba for dinner today?”

     he snorts, leaning back just the slightest bit as todoroki noses his way along the side of his neck, his hair brushing katsuki’s own. “no, you can-fucking-not. you’re gonna have your veggies and you’re gonna fucking like it.”

     todoroki hums in assent. “you drive a hard bargain.”

     kaminari starts choking, and katsuki turns, slipping out of todoroki’s grip. “what the fuck happened now?”

     ashido eeps, and takes to hitting kaminari’s back frantically. “nothing! spit just went down the wrong pipe! we’ll get out of your hair!”

     katsuki never gave much thought to how todoroki behaved around him versus how he behaved around others, until now. looking back on it, he can’t exactly remember when the physical contact began. for all he knows, it’s normal for the heterochromatic boy to seek out touch, especially his touch, whenever they’re together.

     of course, he knows it wasn’t always like that. he figures it started sometime after the war, when sleepless nights and terror-filled days still hadn’t left them alone, when nightmares forced him to abandon his bed and spend more time staring at the starry skies than inside one of his dreams, when todoroki, weary and bent double under the weight of his broken family and his own horrors, started to accompany him on his sojourns to the school rooftop.

     everyone was defeated and spent, even though they had emerged victorious. war changed people, and however much he had hoped for them to be an exception, it wasn’t so. izuku sought him out in the mornings, as if afraid that katsuki would disappear if he took his eyes off of him, uraraka once told him that he helped her keep her composure a lot by appearing unchanged and casual, like it was just another day to get through, jirou broke into his room regularly so that they could listen to their favourite bands together and kirishima, kaminari, sero and ashido regularly dragged him out of the dorms, either with the others or just the bakusquad alone, to visit rebuilt restaurants and old-school arcades.

     was it so odd that todoroki and him became glued at the hip, at a time when friends meant comfort, and loneliness spelled being buried in the past?

     katsuki doesn’t think so. or rather, correction: katsuki didn’t think so.

     not until, that little scene in the kitchen was broadcasted all over the internet, and gave rise to the rumor that he and todoroki fucking shouto were dating.

     “i have wanted to tell you for a while now,” izuku says, apologetically while katsuki scrolls furiously through his phone, his long dormant twitter account finally in use, after two long years. (instagram is where it’s all at, anyway.) #todobaku is trending right under #herocouplegoals and #jkspokeenglish. it’s a veritable war zone, one half of the users fighting over what the ship name should be while the other half is busy celebrating or mourning, with fanart and video clips and memes.

     “define ‘for a while’,” he says, throwing his phone back onto his bed. he looks up at izuku hovering near the foot, and waves him over to his desk chair. “because that live happened two weeks ago, and you’re telling me that you couldn’t have dropped it, i don’t know, maybe during breakfast, any day of the week?”

     izuku grins sheepishly.

     “you fuckers were busy trying to decide who was going to tell me, weren’t you?” he says, exhaling loudly. they’re his friends, they’re basically family at this point. nope, he cannot commit mass homicide because they were being stupid.

     “look kacchan, it’s not so bad!” izuku says, placatingly. “most of the public adores the two of you being together, already! i’m sure the rest will come around soon!”

     katsuki wonders if he hasn’t gone deaf because of all the explosions he’s been in the vicinity of, because his childhood friend didn’t just say what he thinks he did. “how the fuck is that not bad?!!”

     “um, it is?” izuku asks, as if he’s got any right to be the confused one here.

     “of course, it is! why the fuck would i want people to think that we’re dating, let alone approve of it?!!”

     “kacchan,” izuku says, slowly. “you know it was bound to get out at one point, right? i mean, heroes don’t exactly have much of private lives, except for the really paranoid or underground ones-”

     “deku,” he interrupts, a horrific sense of dread overtaking his entire body. “todoroki and i- we’re not dating. we’re just friends.”

     izuku’s mouth snaps shut.

     “i don’t know how you came to that conclusion,” he continues. “but, tell me that’s not what everyone else thinks too.”

     “i- what,” izuku says, looking for all the world like he’s speed running through all the five stages of grief, at once. “you’re telling the truth- you and todoroki aren’t together- this is unexpected.”

     “fucking tell me that’s not what everyone else thinks too!” he demands, his heart sinking into his stomach.

     izuku’s silence is far too telling on its own, than any confirmation or denial would have been.

     “alright, out with it,” aizawa says, his tone as dry as the sand dunes in the sahara. “what’s wrong with all of you?”

     the entire class stays mum.

     “look, i don’t care who betrayed whom by stealing the last bag of shrimp chips,” aizawa begins again. “but, this is starting to affect the other teachers. all might’s on the verge of outright bawling because neither midoriya nor bakugou will tell him what’s going on.”

     katsuki scoffs, drawing aizawa’s attention. “as if you guys don’t already know.”

     “kacchan-” izuku starts, before thinking better of it, and subsiding back into a tongue-tied state with self-control, fit for the buddha himself.

     aizawa looks between the two before closing his eyes for a brief second with a whisper of ‘problem children’. “should i ask class 3-b if they know about any of this?”

     “bakugou is upset that everyone thinks we were dating when we weren’t,” a lone voice speaks up, and katsuki resists the urge to flinch. he hasn’t talked to todoroki ever since they returned from the mall and he doesn’t yet know what the other boy thinks about all of it- “personally, i think it’s amusing but bakugou has always been sensitive, which, i admit is an endearing quality of his.”

     what the fuck.

     “that right there!” ashido screeches. “friends don’t call each other endearing, not with that ridiculously fond tone todoroki just used!”

     “you can’t blame us for having a hive mind, bakubro!” kirishima sobs, leaning on sero for support. “not when all the evidence was against the contrary!”

     “sensei, can you honestly tell us that you didn’t suspect that bakugou and todoroki were together, at one point?” iida says, his arm-chopping more vigorous than ever.

     there is a moment of pin-drop silence where everyone strains to hear aizawa’s response, before the man says, “yes.”

     chaos reigns.

     “you’re lying!” mineta shrieks. “as a teacher, how can you do that?!!”   

     “mineta!” yaoyorozu exclaims, in a reprimanding tone. “don’t say that- unless, aizawa sensei, you really are lying?” she raises an eyebrow, while jirou nods enthusiastically beside her.

     tokoyami has dark shadow out and both quirk and bird-human are staring unblinking at aizawa as if performing a lie-detector test. hagakure has climbed on to her desk and is gesticulating with her arms, her voice lost in the cacophony of the others’. uraraka and asui have their heads close to each other, muttering amongst themselves, and it is this sight that has aizawa giving up and falling face-first into his sleeping bag.

     when he wriggles his way out of the classroom, katsuki drops his head on to his table and wishes for a meteorite to appear and end his misery. the fact that if this really happened, his last memory would be aizawa’s yellow sleeping bag caterpillar-ing out the door, doesn’t faze him in the slightest.  

     the news that bakugou and todoroki are, in actuality, not dating, spreads through the whole school like wildfire. but, unlike his own friends, the others aren’t very keen to accept the truth as gospel.

     “this is just another ploy to make 3-b look bad!” monoma insists, to absolutely every person who crosses his path, be it friend or foe. “of course, they’re together! look at them! look at them and tell me that they aren’t!” at which point, the person being yelled at maniacally, stops and stares and murmurs agreement before beating a hasty retreat.

      izuku has had to drag katsuki away from the blond boy’s direction three times this day, alone. he has no idea how monoma is going to survive till the end of the week, not if he’s got anything to do about it.

     “bakugou,” todoroki says, as he claims the seat next to him during lunch, like he has done every day this year. that doesn’t stop any of the students from pointing at them while the whispering ramps up a notch. “are you still angry?”

     “angry?” he says, sarcasm coating his words liberally. “angry? i’m goddamn furious, icyhot.”

     todoroki stops slurping on his soba noodles. “oh.”

     katsuki waits, but the two-toned boy goes back to his tray, like he hasn’t eaten anything for a week. looking at the person who’s supposed to be freaking out alongside him, acting so casual and unrestrained, makes a hot ball of rage build up in his chest. “oh? that all you got to say, half-and-half?”

     todoroki shrugs. “it will die down, soon. it always does.”

     that gives him pause. yeah, he knows it will when everyone gets bored of this guessing game and moves on to the next big thing. he’s been in the public eye since he was a kid and so has todoroki. they are well-versed enough in the field of media to deal with this temporary problem. why is this bothering him so much, then?

     “bakubro!” kaminari falls into the seat in front of him. “how’s it going, my dude? you look like you’re having fun, chilling with your- um, not-boyfriend!”

     an explosion lights up the surrounding walls in a burst of yellow and red, like a fireworks display in the middle of the cafeteria.

     “it was all sparky’s fault!” katsuki rages. “the idiot provoked me!”

     “be that as it may, bakugou,” aizawa says, massaging his temple. “you still caused property damage. i expect to see you in the evening for your detention at five sharp.”

     “it was just a dumb fucking table!”

     aizawa holds his gaze, barely batting an eye. “five sharp.”

     he scowls. “fine. can i go now?”

     aizawa nods, and he picks up his bag, heading for the door. “bakugou,” aizawa’s voice stops him at the entrance. “you know you can talk to me if anyone’s giving you a hard time, right?”

     katsuki stays still for a second. “yeah, i know, teach,” he says, not daring to look back. “see you at detention.”

     he leaves.

     todoroki’s waiting for him when his detention ends.

     he’s dirty and sweaty and ragged, having spent the past hour in one of the training courses, moving rubble with his bare hands, into buckets, and then carrying them off to be repurposed. his white shirt is smudged horribly and his trousers are no better. there’s a rip on the side of his blazer where he caught it on one of the rocks.

     in comparison to him, todoroki looks like a fucking greek god.

     he’s leaning against the classroom door with katsuki’s bag slung over his shoulder, having had time to wash up and change into casual clothes: a black button-up paired with dark blue jeans, and he has to begrudgingly admit to himself that the guy has some good fashion sense. ever since todoroki hit his growth spurt, early in their second year, and overshot katsuki by a good four inches (a fact that still pisses him off, sometimes. honestly, how perfect can a person get?), the student body’s fawning has reached astronomical levels. couple that physique with when he wears clothes that hug his body like a second skin, occasionally sweeping his hair back when he feels like it, and katsuki is surprised no one has scouted him for a modeling career yet. he knows his mom would, if she could.

     “what are you doing here?” he grouches, still sulky, holding out a hand for his bag.

     instead of handing it over, todoroki slips his fingers through the gaps between katsuki’s and clasps their hands together, pulling him closer.

     oh.

     he has never done that before.

     “icyhot?” he says, his voice smaller than it should be. “what-”

     “you have a cut on your cheek,” todoroki says, leaning down.

     a burst of panic propels him backwards, ripping his hand out of the taller boy’s grasp. “i’m not a motherfucking damsel! it’s just a graze, half-and-half!”

     todoroki only looks at him, his heterochromatic gaze intent as if he’s x-raying katsuki. it’s not the first time he’s looked at him like that but it’s definitely the first time he’s had such weird feelings about it. it’s as if hearing about the dating accusations has flipped katsuki’s entire world upon its head, and he can’t help but look at everything in a new light, now. he wonders if todoroki knows what his actions look like, and comes to the conclusion that he probably doesn’t. the other boy is too oblivious for his own good, and has managed to sweep katsuki along in his parade, too.

     he turns away, crossing his arms, to have an excuse for not meeting his eyes. “and, tone it down a bit, will you? this is precisely why everyone thinks we’re dating.”

     he starts walking, and todoroki follows.

     “why does that bother you so much?”

     “why?” he splutters, incredulously. “because it’s not true, icyhot! i wouldn’t mind as much if we were actually together, because then everyone would be talking about the truth! this whole situation right here? it’s based on a fucking lie and that doesn’t fucking sit right with me!” 

     “date me, then.”

     the earth stops spinning on its axis.

     “good joke,” katsuki says, his mouth dry. “really fucking funny, icyhot.”

     “i’m not joking, bakugou,” todoroki says. “i want to be your boyfriend.”

     he stops and turns around, making the other boy halt in his tracks.

     “say that again with a straight face and i might just believe you.”

     todoroki takes a step forward, and then another, until there’s barely an inch of space between their bodies. katsuki’s left staring at the dark fabric outlining the defined muscles of his chest, before a large hand tips his face up, and he looks into one icy blue and one smoky gray eye.

     “i want to be your boyfriend, bakugou.”

     katsuki’s face erupts in a scarlet explosion, with a viciousness reminiscent of mount vesuvius.

     “bakubabe, it’s been so long since you’ve called!” camie sings when she picks up. “i was beginning to think that you’d forgotten me!”

     “don’t fucking call me that,” he says automatically, but it’s more a reflex than a vehement order, at this point. “also, we met, like last week.”

     “every day not spent with you is a day wasted, homie,” camie swoons over the phone. “how’s your boyfriend? inasa’s been itching for a rematch.”

     katsuki pinches his nose and wills himself to stay calm. it’s not like camie knows any better. “todoroki and i are not dating. that’s why i’m calling you. i need your help with something.”

     “now, that’s a surprise!” camie exclaims. “but, tell me first, why ever not, babe?”

     “why what?” he asks, though he has a feeling about where this conversation is going.

     “why aren’t you dating him?” camie elaborates. “that boy is a snack, if i do say so myself.”

     “we’re just not,” he says. “we’re friends, okay? there’s nothing more to it and there never fucking will be.”

     “tad defensive there, sweetheart, don’t cha think?” camie laughs. “but, tell me, what do you need help with?”

     he tells her.

     “that’s- that’s not- fuck this, todoroki, you don’t know what you’re saying,” katsuki says, turning away, his fists clenched tightly.

     “are you saying that i can’t recognize my own feelings?” todoroki demands. “i like you, bakugou. i have, for a long time now.”

     “shut up!” katsuki says, whirling around. “you’re just saying that, okay? you don’t like me! you can’t!”

     “why not?” todoroki asks, confident and assured in the face of his wrath. “give me one good reason why not.”

     “because i’m me, alright?!” he spits. “i’m violent and bad-tempered and impatient and a thousand other things that don’t belong in people’s choices of a potential partner! you think you like me because you’ve been around me for a long time and it just got fucking induced or whatever! trust me, icyhot, you don’t like me.”

     “bakugou,” todoroki says, his face unreadable under the glow of the setting sun. orange flits across his hair, settling smoothly over the white and getting overshadowed by the red, and to katsuki, it’s very evident at that moment how unattainable todoroki shouto really is. like sunbeams that dance through air, and fall upon his skin, but retreat and disappear when he reaches out to catch them.

     todoroki shouto is meant for bigger and brighter things. he deserves an entire galaxy at his beck and call.

     katsuki is just one star, among millions, and he is destined to burn out and fall down on to the earth, one day.

     “listen, we’ll get you an actual date, okay?” he says. “someone you can get to know, removed from this school setting, and you’ll see how great it feels to be with another person, for once.”

     “if you say so,” todoroki says, finally, not looking away.

     “i definitely say so,” he nods, relief coursing through him at todoroki’s acquiescence. “let’s go. i’m fucking starving.”

     it’s been a week but the memory of this conversation still sits heavily at the back of his brain, taking over his time and energy like they are its god-given rights. todoroki hasn’t said anything about it again since that day, and katsuki’s coming to believe that the boy has accepted all the reasons he gave, at that time, and understands why them being together is a bad idea.

     casting all illusions of love aside, he can honestly say that he’s never entertained any thought of dating todoroki seriously. it’s maybe been a passing whim, brought about by bored afternoons or wishful daydreams, but never something concrete to be chased after, like his dream of becoming the number one hero. first of all, he was way too busy focusing on school and his training, and then, the war happened, and then, they were all swept up in the post-war rehabilitation, jumping from one phase of their life to the other with no breaks in between. second of all, he has no lack of self-awareness, unlike a certain hot-and-cold bastard. he knows what people say about him. after the incident at the sports festival and his kidnapping at the hands of the league of villains, his reputation wasn’t the most solid one out there, for a while. and, he can admit that he has some anger issues, and that he wasn’t much of a team player before, and that he has an inferiority complex the size of the pacific ocean. he’s been working on that and even though he’s secure enough in his skills and character to say that he’s improved, there’s still a long way for him to go, and he is very sure that he’s not yet the kind of boy whom people would want to take home to their families, let alone such a messed-up one like the todorokis.

     katsuki likes todoroki. he really does. he likes going on runs with him, and he likes spending hours sitting close together on the living room sofa while they each do their thing. he likes studying together in the library and making midnight runs to the convenience store, having to sneak out under aizawa’s watchful eye to do so. he likes the easy familiarity they have with each other, one borne from time and patience and trust, different from the ones he shares with izuku and kirishima but a precious one, nonetheless. if there’s one thing he’s sure of, it’s that todoroki has grown to become a friend, one of his closest friends, if he has to clarify.

     but, friendship doesn’t always equal romantic love, does it?

     todoroki’s the kind of boy his mother always tried to warn him against. she didn’t mind him hanging out with chain-smokers and alcoholics and delinquents as long as he didn’t imbibe any of their qualities or habits himself, but heartbreakingly handsome boys with daddy issues and quirks powerful enough to level entire football fields was where she drew the line. being associated with todoroki came with a warning label, one that said: do not fall in love with this boy, because make no mistake, he will break your heart.

     and, as bakugou mitsuki’s one sacred rule was emotional dispositions cause unproductivity, katsuki was brought up from a young age, with the teaching that it’s better to have not loved at all than loved and lost.    

     which in no way means that he was ever on the verge of falling in love with todoroki shouto.

     he has confessed to himself, in the safety of his mind, that he finds the other boy attractive. anyone with eyes is welcome to refute that observation, though he highly doubts they would want to. he can also accept that before todoroki, no one had ever really caught his eye, not in a manner that belied romantic interest. but, love? love’s something big and scary, and definitely not what a person in his position should be thinking about.

     he truly believes that todoroki’s so-called feelings for him arose out of prolonged proximity, because there’s no fucking way that anyone in their right mind would ever fall in love with bakugou katsuki. not when they come to get to know him well enough to get a peek at all the issues and secrets and faults he carries around with him.

     not even someone as socially blind and heedless as the half-and-half bastard.

     katsuki makes his move, just in time as the weekend rolls around. he and todoroki have plans to meet up with camie and inasa at a cat café, and when he catches sight of them waiting at the entrance to the shop, he resists the urge to rub his hands together like a villain watching his schemes come to fruition.

     there’s a new person waiting alongside their friends, a singularly gorgeous girl, with long brown hair and glittering green eyes and the works. he dimly registers todoroki stiffening at his side at the sight of the newcomer, when camie bounds up to them, throwing an arm around katsuki’s shoulder.

     “what up, babes?” she says cheerfully, and then leans up, her mouth level with his ear and whispers, “operation: date commencing in three two one-”

     “hi, todoroki shouto, right?” the brunette girl says, approaching them, or rather, only todoroki, gracefully. “watanabe akari, nice to meet you.”

     katsuki grins. pretty and confident. todoroki’s definitely going to be blown away.

     “so,” he begins. “you have a good time, icyhot?”

     todoroki’s been strangely quiet ever since they parted ways with the shiketsu trio. well, quieter than usual.

     “i always have a good time with you, bakugou.”

     wait, what.

     “i didn’t fucking mean that and you know it,” he grumbles, throwing a sideways glance at todoroki only to find him already looking back. “what did you think of green-eyes?”

     “watanabe-san is a scintillating conversationalist,” todoroki promptly replies.

     katsuki waits, but no more information seems forthcoming. “and?” he asks. “you get her number? you gonna meet up again?”

     “we agreed it was for the best if we stayed friends,” todoroki says. “considering our different interests.”

     katsuki blinks.

     okay, so they weren’t as compatible as camie expected. that’s fine. she’s got plenty more where that came from.

     “green-eyed girls not your type, then?” he asks, aimlessly.

     “not particularly,” todoroki says, seriously. “i prefer warmer shades.”

     between conversing with camie to find todoroki a date and the upcoming mid-terms, katsuki finds himself stretched thin. he fields calls from his parents, by throwing out one-sentence answers of the dating rumors being just that- rumors, and suspects that todoroki’s simply ignoring all the calls endeavor is making. to his own knowledge, rei isn’t much bothered by the news and neither are his siblings, and he and izuku are looking forward to a todoroki family dinner the day after midterms end, with varying levels of despair.

     “you are not allowed to skip out again, you hear me, deku?” he growls, passing izuku on his way to the kitchen, yaoyorozu following behind.

     “but, kacchan-”

     “do you want me to tell auntie about your broken toes?” he demands, and izuku pales. “yeah, that’s what i thought. if you leave me to that shitshow, i’ll make sure that you never set foot out of your house again.”

      “is it really that bad?” yaoyorozu asks, curiously as she grabs one of the standardized aprons from the cabinet over the sink. “why do you and midoriya hate those dinners so much?”

     “it’s a fucking nightmare,” he says, taking the apron she passes him. “it’s one emotionally constipated family and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”

     he fumbles with the buttons a little, as he unfolds the cloth. suddenly, there’s a hand on his own, stilling his movements.

     “let me, bakugou,” todoroki’s voice is low as he slips the apron out of katsuki’s hold.

     “where the fuck did you come from?” he croaks, completely frozen in place.

     “i was sitting beside midoriya,” todoroki answers. he steps behind katsuki, far too close to be called polite, especially for helping with a fucking apron of all things, and slips the fabric around his waist.

     why does the room feel hot all of a sudden?

     this is stupid, katsuki thinks. he fucking back hugs me regularly. we’re always in each other’s spaces. heck, we even shared a bed that one time we stayed at a hot spring resort last year. what the fuck is wrong with me?

     “there you go,” todoroki says, stepping back. “all done.”

     katsuki turns to meet yaoyorozu’s gaze as the other boy retreats from the kitchen. his classmate’s red in the face, her eyes somewhat dazed as if she’s just watched something racy but she liked it.

     “what, ponytail?” he rasps, trying to keep his voice level.

     “sorry!” the girl squeaks. “i just- that was just-”

     he turns away, reaching for the rice cooker. “fucking spit it out.”

     “um, really intimate?” yaoyorozu blurts out. “don’t mind me! it was just a passing thought!”

     lately, all his encounters with todoroki have been weirdly intense, and they keep on increasing in their intensity, with each passing day. this makes his temper shorter than usual and keeps anyone trying to approach him on their toes. todoroki’s the only one who doesn’t seem to care, regularly seeking out his company and spending time with him, like always, and that just makes the situation worse.

     “dude, are you okay?” kirishima asks, carefully after katsuki blows up kaminari’s shitty hero ethics report written overnight and drags him over to his table to help him write a better one.

     “i’m fucking fine,” he says, underlining a paragraph, and wordlessly pointing it out to kaminari.

     “because don’t get me wrong, dude,” kirishima continues as if he hasn’t said anything at all. “you’re the manliest person i know, but if there was something wrong, you’d tell us, right? we’re here to help.”

     katsuki’s far past the point of keeping all of his problems to himself in a bid to not appear weak, but even he draws the line at telling his best friend that his heart goes doki doki around the school heartthrob.

     “i said i’m fine,” he repeats, irritated. “why do you think something’s wrong?”

     “you seem a bit different, you know?” ashido chimes in, thoughtfully. “it could just be exam stress, but you’re like ultra intelligent! you sure you’re human, boom boom boy?”

     katsuki throws up his hands and sero starts laughing.

     why is he friends with them, again?

     it doesn’t stop with the apron.

     they’re having a movie night, as a reward for getting through midterms intact, everyone more or less in one piece, although mineta’s been waking everyone on his floor up, at one in the morning, for the past three days, screaming something about midnight burning his balls (ew) down.

     everyone’s either crammed into armchairs or the sofa, and a few people are piled on top of each other, so there’s virtually no space left for katsuki when he comes downstairs. he’s usually good about arriving early and grabbing a good seat, but he fell asleep in his room as soon as he got back from class, and he’s still bleary eyed and sleepy as he stumbles his way down the stairs.

     he stops near the sofa, takes one look at his gathered classmates and turns right back around. “i’ll pass on this one,” he grumbles. “i’m going back to my fucking bed.”

     even as they start protesting, a warm, calloused hand closes around his wrist and pulls him back. he gasps, his balance overthrown and finds himself being tugged down, on to todoroki’s lap.

     all the twenty-one odd students sequestered in the living room fall silent.

     “you don’t have to go back,” todoroki says, matter of fact. “you can sit right here.”

     he grits his teeth. “what the fuck, half-and-half?”

     “i’m cold,” the insufferable bastard proclaims. “warm me up, bakugou.”

     “you can thermoregulate, you fucker!” katsuki shrieks. “do you think you’re funny?”

     “i’ve been told i have a great sense of humor,” todoroki says, his tone flat with no inflection whatsoever, as if stating a universal truth.

     “should we start the movie or not?” shinsou breaks the silence, his tone perfectly deadpan. “because not that this isn’t fun to watch, but i was kind of looking forward to blood and guts today, not a romantic comedy.”  

     “dude, are you crazy-”

     “shinsou, if you value your life, then shut the hell up-”

     “he didn’t mean it, bakugou-”

     all through this, todoroki’s arm stays like an iron band around his waist, while he buries his face in his neck, his breaths wandering from toasty warm to wintry cold and raising a line of goosebumps down katsuki’s spine.

     the day after the movie night finds them in one of the school buses, on their way to the annual hero convention, being held at a hotel located six hours away from musutafu. they’ve been looking forward to it, ever since aizawa informed them about this post-midterm treat, but katsuki’s sure that this is somehow going to turn into a learning experience, as u.a. high’s treats often do. they’ve been told to pack for three days and three nights, and when people start pairing up for sharing their rooms, he inevitably ends up with todoroki.

     “sorry, dude,” kirishima says, when he approaches him. “but, i’m sharing with kaminari.”

     “aw, kacchan,” izuku says apologetically, looking appropriately sad at having missed out on a chance to room with him. “i wanted to share a room with you too but iida needs my help with something and i couldn’t say no!”

     “normally, i would say yes,” uraraka says, as they load plates into the dishwasher. “you’re a great roommate, bakugou! but, i already promised tsu that i would share with her.”

     “aren’t you with todoroki?” sero asks, rhetorically. “i heard you two were rooming together.”

     and, that is that.

     traitors, the whole lot of them, he thinks as he boards the bus and finds everyone already settled, with only one empty seat left. by some freakish coincidence, it’s the one next to todoroki.

     he shoves his bag into one of the overhead compartments and sits down, taking out his phone to check his messages. beside him, todoroki has his eyes closed, listening to music on his earphones and katsuki considers it safe to open his recent chat with camie.

     she’s sent him a picture and a single line saying ‘i have a feeling he will either like this one or totes hate it’. it’s intriguing and he taps on the picture.

     all he can do is stare when it fully loads.

     dyed blond hair carefully styled into spikes with what looks like a truckload of gel and deep red eyes (those are some unnatural contacts) stare back from his phone screen.

     swallowing hard, he types, ‘why the fuck does this guy look like me?’

     the answer comes almost immediately. ‘that’s akari cosplaying you. think todoroki would like her more if she looked like you?’

     and, what the fuck is he supposed to say to that?

     ‘FUCKING NO,’ he types emphatically, and closes the chat. he has a feeling that camie is laughing her ass off, on the other side of the screen.

     after they have stashed their bags in their rooms, they meet up, back in the lobby of the hotel. twenty-one teenagers being herded around by three adults is always a recipe for disaster, so everyone happily agrees when present mic announces that they are going to split up.

     “i’m fine with all might,” katsuki quickly says, before his english teacher has even finished speaking.

     he moves to the skinny man’s side, which starts off a free for all. soon enough, he’s joined by izuku, kirishima, uraraka, ashido, jirou and wait for it… todoroki.

     “thank you for placing your trust in me, young bakugou,” all might says, tearfully and katsuki throws him a weird look. at this point, he’s not even surprised that todoroki once suspected izuku of being the man’s lovechild because their propensity for bursting into tears at every moment makes him equally exhausted when dealing with one or the other.

     “he’s come so far!” izuku agrees, his eyes shining emotionally. “i’m so proud of you, kacchan!”

     katsuki’s starting to wish he’d chosen aizawa instead. he may be stricter than all might but at least, he isn’t an ugly crier.

     and, because it’s an international event, it inevitably ends up being a target for international terrorists.

     “you know what this reminds me of?” jirou yells, as they race after a bad guy trying to get to the helicopter on the roof of the hotel.

     “i-island!” katsuki yells back, using his explosions to propel himself forward for the last fifteen feet, and landing right in front of the terrified henchman. he ducks under a sloppy punch, and sweeps the guy’s feet from under him, smoothly grabbing the briefcase he’s been carrying for the entirety of the chase and throwing it towards jirou.

     “you got it!” she shouts, throwing him a thumbs-up before starting to pick the lock on the briefcase. katsuki hides a smile at the unintentional double meaning behind her words and swiftly ties up his prisoner with some curtain cords he snatched from one of the rooms.

     his phone starts ringing. “we’ve secured the stolen equipment!” he has to shout to make himself heard over the roar of the wind. “what about the civilians?”

     “all out!” izuku confirms. “do you guys need any help?”

     “we’ve got it, deku,” he says. “everything alright on your end?”

     “we have the leader in handcuffs,” izuku says. “but, we weren’t able to find the bomb. detective tsukauchi’s working on them but they all appear to be telling the truth! you better get out of there fast, kacchan! if there really is a bomb, then it’s set to blow under ten minutes!”

     “is that bakugou?” he hears todoroki’s voice in the background. “bakubro! you okay?” kirishima joins the three-way conversation, making it a four-way instead. 

     “i’m hanging up,” he says, rolling his eyes. “see you on the ground.”

     “everything’s in here!” jirou says, closing the briefcase. “did they find the bomb?”

     the man pinned down under his foot starts to chuckle. it’s such a turnabout of demeanour that katsuki finds himself thrown off at this sudden change in attitude. “what the fuck are you laughing about?”

     “there’s no bomb down there, kid,” he says, as he laughs harder. “it’s up here.”

     “the fuck do you mean?” katsuki demands, his mind running through every possibility it can. it isn’t in the suitcase, it isn’t on the man himself, and the roof is completely empty, except for the helicopter resting on the helipad. does this mean the bomb is inside the helicopter? that makes no sense-

     “it’s my quirk,” the guy says, with an unholy amount of glee. “everything i touch gets primed to blow. the longer the time of wait, the bigger the explosion.”

     jirou looks up, her face white as she comprehends the words being said.

     katsuki doesn’t think. he just acts.

     four seconds later, as he throws himself down the side of the building, with jirou’s arms locked around his neck, a massive fiery explosion bursts into existence behind them.

     he opens his eyes to a white ceiling, and groans.

     he fucking hates hospitals.

     “i hope that was a sound of ‘i will never do something so risky again’,” aizawa says, from the chair beside his bed.

     he turns his head to glare at his teacher. “what the fuck happened?”

     “you jumped off a thirty-story building,” aizawa says. “not to mention, got caught in an explosion that took off half of the upper floors.”

     he glares harder. “i think i remember that part, thanks. where’s earphones?”

     aizawa sighs, as if dealing with a mildly irritating gnat. “she’s fine. you shielded her from the worst of the fire and debris. all she sustained were a few shallow cuts on her right cheek.”

     “what about the guy with the bomb quirk?”

     “he’s dead.”

     katsuki turns away, closing his eyes. he doesn’t want to see what kind of expression aizawa’s making-

     “kid, it’s not your fault.”

     he scoffs, and his whole body aches with the motion. “last time i checked, i was the one who left the fucker behind.”

     there’s a rustle as aizawa shifts in his seat. “bakugou, listen to me. what happened to that man was not your fault. you did the best you could in a difficult situation and got your partner and yourself out, alive. that’s more than any seasoned veteran in the hero industry can say, for themselves.”

     “it was fucking stupid of me to go in with limited knowledge about their quirks, anyway.”

     “it would have happened, either way,” aizawa says, firmly. “sometimes, shit happens, kid. people die.”

     “didn’t take you for someone who would encourage cursing around his students,” katsuki says.

     “you’re feeling better, i see,” aizawa says, amusement coloring his tone. “your friends have been especially worried.”

     “what’s the diagnosis?” he asks, lifting a hand to examine his bandaged arm. “you haven’t told the old hag or the old man, right?”

     “there were third-degree burns down your back,” aizawa says. “recovery girl was brought in to help with those. your shoulders were dislocated, but not anymore. there were numerous cuts, both deep and superficial due to glass shards, but nothing too serious. i would say, you just need a day or two of bedrest and you’ll be right as rain.”

     he sits up, his muscles straining with protest.

     “also, your parents are waiting outside.”

     this settles it. aizawa’s the most vindictive teacher he has ever had.

     after he gets his eardrums blown out by his mother, who then proceeds to wrap her arms around him and attempts to suffocate him to death, while his father runs his hand through katsuki’s unwashed, grimy hair, there’s no dearth of visitors.

     jirou hugs him as hard as the old hag did, followed by izuku, kirishima and the rest. uraraka gives him a high-five as she tells him that he looked really cool as he jumped off the roof, and ashido bemoans the fact that he doesn’t have a cast to sign her name on. kaminari complains that he’s going to steal all the chicks if he does stuff like that, at which point yaoyorozu slaps him upside the head and drags him off. 

     everyone takes turns to visit and make sure he’s okay, but the one person whom he’s been expecting doesn’t.

     he’s not sulking. he’s totally not.

     “here’s the mvp of the show!” hawks enters the room like a summer storm, fast and unpredictable. “what you did was the coolest thing i’ve seen in ages, kid! no one jumps off burning buildings with damsels in their arms, anymore!”

     katsuki levels a dry gaze on the feathered hero. “you should be glad earphones isn’t here. she’d tear you a new one if she ever heard you call her a fucking damsel.”

     “hawks, i thought i told you to keep your voice down,” best jeanist’s entrance is the complete opposite of his colleague’s. “hello, bakugou. i’m glad you’re awake.”

     “details, details,” hawks waves both of them off. “speaking of which, you know where your girl is, by any chance? tsukauchi needs to take her statement.” 

     “she’s probably in the cafeteria,” he says. “and, she isn’t my girl. she’s sparky’s when he gets his fucking head out of his ass and asks her out.”

     “so, the rumors are true, then!” hawks crows with delight, completely ignoring the first part of his statement. “you’re committed! you’ve made an honest man out of shouto!”

     he chokes. “what?!! who’s committed?!! i’m not committed! you’re committed!!”  

     hawks raises an eyebrow. “kid, i hate to tell you this but from what i saw, shouto seems pretty committed to you.”

     he feels his blanket crumple beneath his hands. “is it a bird thing, or are you always this fucking cryptic?”

     jeanist coughs delicately into his fist. “what hawks meant to tell you is that todoroki shouto was very concerned when he realized what had happened.”

     “dude, just give it to him straight.” hawks says, petulantly. “shouto broke his arm, trying to get to you.”

     “what?” katsuki says, stunned. “the fuck are you talking about?”

     “your classmates had to be restrained from retrieving you,” jeanist says, casting a resigned look at hawks. “because of the danger of falling debris. eraserhead was the closest to todoroki shouto, and the boy broke his arm while trying to get free from his bandages.”    

     he swallows convulsively. “where is he, now?”

     “after recovery girl set his bones, he was summoned back to the scene of the crime, since he and midoriya izuku were the ones who took down the leader,” jeanist explains. “he had to stay for a while, and reassure his family that he’s safe.”

      “topic change! do i still need to convince you to take that internship at my agency?” hawks says, grinning. “i can teach you how to throw yourself off a burning building and not get hurt in the process.”

     katsuki snorts. “we’ll fucking see. i’m planning to take over his agency first,” he says, jerking a thumb towards jeanist.

     “but kacchaaaaan! we could be great together!”

     “don’t fucking call me that!”   

     katsuki slips out of his room at one in the morning, and runs straight into todoroki.

     both of them look at each other, and start speaking at the same time.

     “what are you-” “bakugou, i-”

     katsuki takes a step back, waving his hand. “you go first, icyhot.”

     todoroki inhales, his eyes roaming up and down over his frame, as if checking for any hidden injuries. he’s the one who’s filthy this time, his shirt and jeans dirty and crumpled, with smudges of grease across his face, and yet, it just makes him look more handsome.

     “i’m sorry i wasn’t here when you woke up.”

     “where were you?” he asks, his voice neutral.

     “i meant to come back with midoriya after they took our statements,” todoroki says, a shadow of regret passing over his face. “but, they needed help with debris removal and crowd control. i stayed back until midoriya and the others could relieve me.”

     “then, why the fuck are you apologizing, half-and-half?” he demands.

     “i-what?” todoroki says, baffled. he looks lost, his eyes wide like a little kid’s.

     “you did your job,” he says, looking away. he just knows he’s blushing. “you’re a hero and you did what you were meant to do, icyhot. so, don’t you dare fucking apologize.”

     todoroki stays silent. katsuki glances at the other boy out of the corner of his eye and feels his face grow hotter. there is a look of pure, unbridled fondness and awe displayed over his features shamelessly, and katsuki can’t fucking deal with it.

     “i’m heading to the roof,” he says, loudly turning away with exaggerated movements. “you coming?”

     it’s cold on the roof.

     he shivers as he climbs onto the wall, and swings his feet over, exposed bricks digging into his palms. todoroki joins him with far more ease, his height easily compensating for the wall’s. katsuki realizes that with the way they’re sitting, he’s closer to todoroki’s fire side.

     he sighs, as the warmth radiating from todoroki’s left side seeps into his skin, straight into his bones, turning his insides into a soupy mess.

     “better?” todoroki asks, satisfaction evident in his voice.

     katsuki hums. “you bet. keep doing that, half-and-half.”

     he looks up. the hospital he’s been taken to, is on the outskirts of the city and closer to the countryside, which makes for great privacy.

     the night sky is aglow with the light of millions of stars, their view still untouched by the pollution prevalent in the middle of the city. it’s the most beautiful thing he’s seen recently. he peeks at todoroki to find him staring at the sky, too. well, one of the most beautiful.

     under the glow of the moon, todoroki looks ethereal.

     be fucking still, heart of mine.

     “i used to think you were a star,” todoroki says.

     katsuki turns to look at him, confused. “is this the part where i say ‘thanks’?”

     todoroki chuckles. “do you remember the sports festival in our first year?”

     he laughs, dryly. “do you even need to ask? i was a fucking mess back then.”

     todoroki turns too, facing him fully. “when i fought you, i felt scared. i hadn’t used my fire for a long time, until my fight with midoriya. and, there you were, demanding that i use both of my sides to fight you.”

     he frowns. “i know, i was an asshole. do you have to rub it in?”

     todoroki shakes his head. “no, bakugou. you were beautiful.”

     time stops ticking.

     “you were like a star, burning like a supernova and infinitely far away. no matter how hard i tried, i felt like i would never be able to catch up. i felt like the moon, destined to forever remain close to my earthly bindings and never roam the heavens like you were already doing. i felt like i would burn up, if i ever got close enough to having even an ounce of the passion that you had.”

     katsuki’s mouth feels dry. “what changed?” he whispers.

     todoroki smiles, and it feels like a revelation. “i realized you’re more like the sun than a star.”

     he tries for a laugh. “technically, the sun is a star, icyhot.”

     “yes, but it’s the only star close enough to the earth to keep it alive.”

     “yeah, so?”

     “i guess what i’m trying to say is i’m your earth, bakugou. you keep me alive.” 

     “bakugou, do you have something to share with the class?” aizawa’s voice rings through the air, and it takes an embarrassingly long time for katsuki to realize that everyone’s staring at him. he hastily flips the astronomy book he’s holding closed, and shoves it into his bag before straightening up and looking aizawa in the eye.

     “no, sensei.”

     “good, can you tell me how to solve this problem, then?”

     katsuki runs his gaze down the blackboard, reading the question quickly and says, “separate the x and y variables and substitute the value of m with the derivative of x. the answer is log y.”

     “dude, i’ve been trying to solve this for the past fifteen minutes!” kaminari’s voice carries across the room in a loud whisper. “how did he do that so fast? he wasn’t even paying attention in the first place!”

     aizawa aims a withering glare at the blond boy which leaves kaminari scrambling to copy the answer down before he forgets. katsuki looks down at his blank notebook and pretends to take notes, for the rest of the lesson, because he doesn’t think he will be able to concentrate even if he tries. he can feel izuku burning a hole in the back of his head with his curiosity but it’s easy to ignore him, when he has much bigger things to be worrying about.

     he can’t get that rooftop conversation out of his mind.

     why, you ask?

     because, and yes, he can’t believe it himself either but needs must and whatever he is, he isn’t oblivious, he’s in love with todoroki shouto.

     what a fucking mess.

     after he fell asleep in todoroki’s arms on the hospital roof and woke up to the sound of their classmates and teachers frantically searching for him, his first thought wasn’t oh shit, i’m in trouble or damn, i hope i haven’t caught a fucking cold, but i wish i could stay like this forever.

     that’s right, ladies and gentlemen. bakugou katsuki’s officially caught feelings.

     he’s dragged out of his musings when the bell for lunch starts ringing.

     “wait a moment,” aizawa says, raising a hand to quell the swelling tide of starving students. “i have a request to make.”

     katsuki leans back in his seat, already intrigued. aizawa never asks for personal favors, so whatever he’s going to say is guaranteed to be interesting.

     “as you know, there is a nation-wide teacher conference being held in tokyo this weekend, and i’m one of the people who’ve been invited,” aizawa says. “i need someone to watch eri from friday evening till sunday night.”

     “i can do it!” izuku volunteers, like the literal saint katsuki knows his childhood friend is.

     “but, aren’t you going home for the weekend, deku?” uraraka asks, and then immediately goes pink when everyone turns to look at her.

     “oh, i forgot!” izuku says, “come to think of it, i don’t think anyone is free this weekend, sensei. i could stay back and just go home next week, though-”

     “i’ll watch her,” katsuki says. “i don’t have anything planned.”

     “you sure, bakubro?” kirishima says, concerned. “i know you’re fully recovered but you were lying in a hospital bed three days ago.” 

     “i can’t fucking go home, anyway,” katsuki says, dismissively. “the old hag’s gonna be in milan for the rest of the week and the old man’s gonna be entertaining potential clients. i’ll just be in the way.”    

     if anything, babysitting eri will take his mind off of todoroki and his burgeoning love problem for the time being.

     just like every other time he’s spent hanging out with eri, he has a blast this time, too.

     she’s recently started learning english, so he cracks out his copy of percy jackson and the lightning thief, and they take turns reading loudly while he helps her with the difficult words as they go. he shows her his collection of shoujo manga and she instantly falls in love with them. they spend hours, making origami and paper models, and it’s the most fun he’s had in a while.

     “can we have candied apples for lunch?” eri asks, turning big carmine eyes, so similar to his own, on him. “please, kacchan?”

     “after lunch,” he says, firmly. “for dessert. you need to have something in your stomach before you eat sweets, okay?”

     “okay,” eri parrots. she throws her arms around his torso and snuggles closer to him. “thank you, kacchan! you’re the best!”

     how the fuck can one little girl be so adorable?

     an hour later, the door to the living room opens and he looks up from his spot on the floor, beside eri. no one’s supposed to be back this early-

     “shou-chan!” eri exclaims, getting to her feet and turning into a human cannonball as she rushes at todoroki’s legs. the boy drops the duffel bag he’s carrying and bends down to catch her, and lifts her into his arms.

     “should i ask?” katsuki says, as he takes a look at the clock hanging on the wall. he begins picking up the numerous colourful square papers scattered all around the floor.

     “i was going to come back this evening,” todoroki says, moving into the room after kicking the door shut. “but, when mother and fuyumi heard that you were alone, they kicked me out early.”

     he stifles a laugh at the tortured indignation in the other boy’s tone. “you’re right on time, then. eri, why don’t you show icyhot how to make flower crowns while i make lunch?”

     “like you showed me last time?” she says, eyes sparkling.

     “like i showed you last time,” he agrees.

     “yay!” eri squeals. “let’s go, shou-chan! we’re going to make the prettiest flower crowns ever!”

     he’s washing up when the front door opens and two sets of footsteps make their way inside.

     eri’s walking alongside todoroki, her tiny hand practically swallowed up in his large one. her other hand is clutching a dainty flower crown made up of cherry blossoms.

     “kacchan!” eri says, letting go of todoroki’s hand and running towards him. “we made you a flower crown!”

     “i can see that,” he says, kneeling down. he pokes the flower crown resting on her white locks. “it looks amazing.”

     “we made three,” eri says happily. “one for each of us! daddy bought me a book on flowers and what they mean, so i used what i read to make them more m-meaning-meaningful!”

     “oh?” he grins at the sight of a crown of aquilegias perched atop todoroki’s two-toned hair. “tell me more.”

     “everyone tells me that they love my laugh,” eri says, smiling widely, her front teeth peeking out in a cute manner. “so, i chose daisies because they are the most cheerful flowers! and, shou-chan is so strong. that’s why we got those aqui-aqui-aquilegias! and, you’re the prettiest person i know, so, i got you cherry blossoms!”

     fuck, his heart’s melting. his ribcage has liquefied. he has no idea how he’s alive.

     “you wanna do the honors, then?” he says, tilting his head down and eri lifts the crown to rest on his hair. she claps excitedly and giggles. “fit for a princess!”

     “you learn that phrase from your dad?” he asks, amused.

     “yup!” eri nods. “it’s from a book he read me last week! and, the princess was just like you! pretty and good at cooking and making flower crowns and origami!”

     “well, if i’m a princess, then you’re one too,” he says, brushing off a bit of dirt stuck to her nose. “and you know what princesses don’t have?”

     “empty stomachs?” eri asks, hopefully.

     “that, and dirty hands,” he says, booping her nose playfully. “go and clean up, and then, we can have lunch.”

     eri scrambles off, to the bathrooms, and katsuki looks up, his eyes meeting todoroki’s. the heterochromatic boy has such a soft look on his face that it feels almost illegal for him to be witnessing it.

     “you’re great with her,” todoroki says.

     he shrugs. “she’s way easier to handle than most kids, so-”

     “i don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” todoroki says, his face somehow taking on a softer look, if that’s even possible.

     he looks away, and gestures at the table. “whatever. help me lay the fucking table, will you?”

     it’s only when aizawa arrives at the dorms to pick eri up that katsuki realizes that he’s just spent a day and a half, playing at fucking domesticity with todoroki.

     that thought gives him whiplash and he tunes in, only at the end of aizawa’s sentence.

     “-more than us.”

     he looks down at the two tickets aizawa has just handed over to him. “huh?”

     “there are only ten of its kind in circulation,” the man elaborates. “for the autumn carnival next weekend. they’re the equivalent of a golden pass. the organizing committee gave them to me for performing security duty for them last year. neither eri nor i are very fond of crowds, so you’d better make use of them, otherwise, they’ll just be tossed out with the trash.”

     “right, okay,” he says, becoming very aware of twenty pairs of eyes boring into his back. “thanks, teach.”

     “thank you again, problem child,” aizawa says, more affectionate than irritated while using the phrase, these days. “eri, say goodbye.”

     “goodbye, kacchan,” she says, mournfully. “goodbye, shou-chan. goodbye, deku. goodbye, everyone.”

     “so, kacchan,” kaminari begins, as soon as aizawa and eri are out the door. he’s draped over the back of the sofa as he eyes katsuki with a distinctly predatory look. “whom are you taking to that carnival?”

     “who says i’m taking anyone, at all?” he demands, shoving the tickets into his pocket.     

     “there are two tickets,” ashido points out. “and, only one of you.”

     “why are you even bothering to ask?” mineta wails, waving his arms around in an agitated manner. “he’s obviously taking todoroki!”

     “he might take kirishima!” hagakure protests. “he might take one of us! carnivals aren’t just for couples! they’re for friends and classmates aaaaand- he’s taking todoroki. you’re taking todoroki, aren’t you?”

     “a ceremony!” kaminari proclaims, hopping off the couch and waving katsuki over before he can say anything. “let’s have a ceremony so that kacchan can choose his carnival partner!”

     “we don’t have any incense.”

     “shush, tokoyami-kun. this is supposed to be a happy ceremony, not a dark ritual.”

     five seconds later, katsuki is standing on top of the sofa, his wilted crown of cherry blossoms hastily tossed on to his hair by sero, while he holds todoroki’s former crown of aquilegias in his hands.

     “alright, bakugou,” iida says, his voice having taken on a deeper quality. it’s so ridiculous that he wants to laugh. “have you decided whom you’re going to the carnival with?”

     a crowd of watchful faces look up at him, eager and anticipant. as if there’s any real choice to be made at all. as if he was ever going to choose someone else. he looks at the lone figure standing on the edge of the gathering, and looking back at him like he’s the only person in the room.

     “half-and-half,” katsuki says, to everyone’s collective groans. “get up here and claim your fucking crown.”

     “i knew it!”

     “why did we even try?”

     as todoroki climbs on to the sofa and bends down so that katsuki can place the crown on his head, he asks, “would it be too forward to call this a date?”

     katsuki ignores the sudden silence that falls over the room and leaps down, on to the floor. “don’t make me regret choosing you, icyhot.”

     with the special entry tickets, they don’t have to pay for anything and katsuki’s decided he’s going to take full advantage of that.

     “it’s very bright,” todoroki says, surprise coloring his tone liberally.

     he stops in his tracks, having come to a horrible realization. “you’ve never been to a carnival before, have you.”

     todoroki shrugs. “i had a repressed childhood?”

     he rolls his eyes. of course, how could he forget that? insert sarcasm here. grabbing todoroki’s jacket, he tugs him forward. “you’re in luck, icyhot. we’re gonna rule this show. i made a map detailing every shop and ride we’re gonna hit and it’s very, very extensive.”

     “bakugou, you do realize that this isn’t a competition?”

     “shut up! everything in life’s a competition! now, get a move on so that we can destroy these extras!”

     and with that, the race is on.

     it’s nearing closing time, and katsuki’s proud to say that they’ve made an impressive haul.

     after a snack at the food stalls, they went around, on almost every ride, at least twice before conquering the game booths. the massive pile of plushies that’s now resting at their feet, wrapped in plastic to ward off dirt, is a testament of their victory over the clearly rigged games and the line of terrified and broke booth owners that they have left in their wake.

     “bakugou,” todoroki says, nudging him. “we haven’t gone on that, yet.”

     katsuki looks up, in the direction he’s pointing at, and blinks.

     “you really want to ride the ferris wheel?” he says, doubtfully. “it’s not very challenging.”

     “we’ll get a great view up there,” todoroki says. he turns to katsuki, his eyes all big and sad and hopeful. “please?”

     “fucking fine,” he grumbles. “i hope you’re not scared of heights, halfie.”

     as the car they’re in begins its ascent, katsuki admits that it’s not so bad. while the small, enclosed space he’s in does nothing good for his claustrophobia, he finds that the view outside is a really good distraction.

     and, when they reach the top, it gets even better.

     the entire city is laid out, below them. it’s a mass of colorful lights with a pitch black backdrop, and the night sky meets the horizon like they’ve never been apart.

     “should we take a picture?”

     “way ahead of you, icyhot.”

     he shuffles closer to todoroki, angling his phone for a good selfie. “say cheese.”

     and then, the ride descends.

     he’s starting to forget about the fact that they’re in a flimsy metal box suspended in mid-air when, on their fourth turn down the wheel, everything grinds to a stop.

     “fucking tell me that’s not what i think it was,” he says, his back suddenly ramrod straight as he stares with wide eyes at todoroki sitting opposite him.

     “it’s not what you think it was,” the boy dutifully repeats.

     “not fucking helping,” he says, gritting his teeth. he brings his hands up and runs them through his hair, gripping the ash blond strands hard. logically, he knows that if anything happens, they will be able to blast the door open and escape safely. but, there is no place for logic in half-remembered nightmares and memories of quirk restraints and muzzles and chains and be a good little villain and join us and maybe, we’ll let you out of those bonds-

     “fuck,” he breathes. there are civilians here. when it comes down to it, how many will he be able to save before the rest start dying?

     “bakugou,” he hears todoroki’s voice in his ear and he’s dragged forward by a twin pair of hot and cold hands on his hips. the smell of warm smoke and fresh mountain spring water with an undertone of soothing peppermint overwhelms his senses. when he comes to, they’re still stuck in a confined space and not in any process of getting down, but he’s on todoroki’s lap now. and, it’s keeping him calm.

     “bakugou, are you alright?” todoroki asks, one broad palm sliding its way up his spine to rest on the back of his neck.

     he clutches on to todoroki’s shoulders for balance. “i-yes. yeah, i’m fine.”

     they’re so close to each other that he thinks he could count the other boy’s eyelashes if he wanted to. the only light in the tiny car is from the nearby carnival lights and it’s not enough to see very properly but he can still make out todoroki’s jawline, sharp enough to cut diamond, and those high cheekbones, fit for an aristocratic prince. his hair is falling forwards, into his eyes, and the shadows pooling under blue and gray irises lend a mysterious air to a person katsuki’s come to know as well as he knows himself.

     the air feels heavy.

     “bakugou,” todoroki says, his voice rough. “i’m going to kiss you, now.”

     well, this has been a long time coming, after all.

     katsuki fists a hand in his collar and pulls him in.

     it’s electric, it’s magnetic, it’s explosive. it’s everything people talk about, and everything they don’t. he can taste the cotton candy they had an hour ago, on todoroki’s breath and he suspects that’s what the other’s tasting too. the taller boy’s hands are like steel over his hips and katsuki’s own are buried in thick swathes of two-toned hair.

     they part for a quick intake of breath and meet again, and again, and again, until todoroki takes a break from plundering his mouth and makes his way down katsuki’s neck instead.

     he throws his head back, gasping loudly as teeth sink into his skin. “fuck, oh god.”

     “it’s just me, bakugou,” todoroki says, his mouth brushing against his pulse point deliciously.

     “shut up, you smug bastard- ah!”

     it’s only been a few minutes but it feels like they’ve been up here for hours.

     after todoroki’s had his fill (for the moment), he pulls him forward to claim his mouth again. katsuki can do nothing but take it. he parts his lips almost like it requires no thought, when todoroki swipes a tongue over his lower one. (where the fuck did he learn to kiss like that?) and then, he’s breathless and aching as the taller boy plays him like a stringed instrument, and splits him open, leaving all of his emotions out in the air, for the whole world to see.

     finally, there’s a respite. katsuki shivers as he feels todoroki’s alternatingly hot and cold breaths on his spit-slicked lips.

    “bakugou,” todoroki says, low and dark and deep. “katsuki.”

     he trembles, his hands gripping those broad shoulders like a lifeline.

     “katsuki, i love you.”

     the world stops moving.

     “i love you, katsuki. i love you, katsuki. i love you, katsuki-”

     “i get it!” he splutters, his face heating up as he buries it in todoroki’s shoulder. “i fucking get it, okay? shut up!!”

     “do you believe me now?” todoroki asks, sounding triumphant.

     “yes,” he mumbles into the other boy’s shirt. “i do.”

     there’s a mechanical grinding and then, cheers fill the air. their car starts to descend.

     i love you too, icyhot.

     katsuki waits with bated breath for the knock on his door.

     it’s been half an hour since they arrived at the dorms, and both he and todoroki agreed to meet up in katsuki’s room after a quick shower and a change of clothes. he spent five minutes obsessing over what he should wear until he realized what he was doing, and slipped into his usual black skull t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants with a hole in the right knee.

     his nerves are overstrung and he almost jumps out of his skin when someone raps on his balcony door.

     “icyhot!” he hisses, striding across the room to unlock the sliding door and pull it open. “what the fuck?”

     “sorry,” todoroki says, stepping inside. he’s wearing the same threadbare t-shirt and sweatpants he wears to bed, every day but katsuki’s eyes can’t help but linger on the clear muscle definition on his arms and abdomen and legs. “midoriya and aoyama struck up a conversation outside my door and i couldn’t get out that way.”

     “of course, it’s deku!” he starts ranting, grabbing on to the safe conversation topic being presented to him on a silver platter. “that nerd always has a sixth sense for anything secret! it’s fucking creepy is what it is-”

     before he knows it, he’s on his back on his bed, with todoroki’s knee between his thighs and his arms on either side of his head.

     “katsuki,” todoroki says, his heterochromatic eyes boring into his own. “i don’t think i want to hear midoriya’s name come out of your mouth, right now.”

     katsuki recovers faster, this time. he looks up from underneath his eyelashes, and asks, “would you like it better if i said shouto instead?”

     there’s no more talking for a long time, after that.

     “i can’t fucking believe you were playing the long game this whole time!” katsuki exclaims, his head resting on shouto’s chest. they’re tangled together under the blankets, still fully clothed (what? it’s not like he’s going to have sex for the first time in a dorm room where anyone can hear them), and lips freshly bruised.

     “it was a case of immovable object meets unstoppable force,” shouto says, chuckling. “what did you expect me to do?”

     “you’re an insufferable bastard, you know that?” he says, raising his face to look up into his boyfriend’s eyes.

     he has a boyfriend now. what a thought. and, it’s none other than todoroki fucking shouto.

     “yes, but i’m your insufferable bastard,” shouto states, satisfaction enveloping his words.

     “damn right you are,” katsuki agrees. “fuck, i’m never going to be able to call anyone oblivious, ever again.”

     “you are very oblivious,” shouto says. “it’s pretty cute.”

     “pretty embarrassing, more like,” he groans. “i’m never gonna be able to show my fucking face to anyone. it’s all your fault, icyhot!”

     “how so?” shouto demands, laughter lurking underneath his words.

     “you’re the one who made me fall in love with you!”

     there is a beat of silence before katsuki realizes what he has just said.

     “i mean, it’s because you’re a gorgeous son of a bitch-” wait, fuck, abort, abort, abort! “-a fucking wonderful bastard-” what the fuck is he saying?! shut up, shut up!!!

     shouto cuts him off by pulling him into another toe-curling kiss.

     “i love you too, katsuki.”

     he sighs, contentedly, bringing a hand up to trace a finger around his sore lips. “you’re also a really fucking great kisser.”

     “thanks, i try.”

     they lie in a state of languor for the next few minutes.

     “katsuki?”

     “hmmm?”

     “do you think we should tell everyone that we’re actually together now?”

     he presses down on the hickies and bite marks on his neck that he’s recently acquired and savours the feeling of pain-filled pleasure that it gives when he applies just enough pressure, and smiles. “no. at least, not now. let’s see how long it takes those fuckers to figure it out.”

     he feels shouto press a kiss on to the top of his head. “that,” he says, pulling katsuki impossibly closer, “sounds like an amazing idea. i love you.” it’s an extraordinary feeling that he now has someone who’s going to tell him those three words every day, for the rest of his life.

     “i love you too.” and it’s just as much of an extraordinary thing that he now has someone he can say those three words to, for the rest of his life too.

i once believed love would be (black and white)

but, it’s golden (just like daylight)