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All for One would never admit that it took him a full day to realize his son had gone missing. Or that it could have easily been much longer. In his civilian guise as Hisashi Midoriya, he called his family once a week. This was more than his own parents had ever done for him, with his father possibly not existing and his mother eaten by rats shortly after his birth, so he considered himself to be a very involved father. He’d just called Izuku a few days ago. Then he’d turned off his phone while in the middle of a high-stakes mission to steal Flect Turn’s quirk. While sauntering away with his new reflection ability, Hisashi realized he had over a hundred missed calls from his wife.
Although Inko had anxiety, it wasn’t bad enough to explain a hundred phone calls. Immediately, Hisashi called his wife back. “What happened to Izuku?”
Inko shrieked, “Our son got kidnapped by Humarise!”
Hisashi looked around at Humarise’s smoking and burning headquarters. “They’re not the most likely suspect. I just finished crushing them.” Rage burned deep in his chest, cold rather than hot. His dearest treasure had been taken. This situation was dire enough that he could not afford to lose control.
“They left a note saying they’d abducted him to study how he obtained a late quirk.” Inko’s voice became a bit calmer. “I did wonder how they knew about that. But U.A. and the HPSC believed it. And there are rumors about Humarise kidnapping people.”
“I’ll check.” Turning around, Hisashi marched back into Humarise’s flaming church. Flect Turn sprawled on the floor, pale-skinned and cross-eyed, his robes burning. Hisashi activated a quirk allowed him to tell if someone lied to him that he’d stolen from a Tsukauchi ancestor, then grabbed Flect’s arm. “Did you ever kidnap a boy named Izuku Midoriya?”
“Never heard of him!” Flect shrieked. “Release me, devil!”
Hisashi dropped Flect’s arm, then kicked him in the head. Into his phone, he asked, “Did you hear that?”
“Uh-huh. What did the lie detecting quirk say?” Inko did not sound bothered by the screaming or crackling flames in the background. But then, she’d always known about her husband’s work. She simply preferred not to get involved with it.
“The fool is telling the truth. I suspect the HPSC.”
“Do you think they found out about your work?”
“No, they would have threatened me already if they had any idea Izuku’s connection to me. Besides, they think I’m dead.” Hisashi double-checked his phone, but he had no messages even though he had kept a line open with the commission presidents for decades to taunt them. “The HPSC has been after One for All for nearly as long as me. That’s probably why they targeted Izuku. It’s all the blond buffoon’s fault. We never should have let Izuku become a hero.”
“Come on, dear, it’s his dream. I could never deny him something he wants so much. And All Might has been very kind to our boy even if he is a buffoon.” Inko’s voice turned more tense as she asked: “Would they hurt Izuku?”
“Not right away. They’re not prepared to risk a war with All Might. They want to run some tests and see if they can steal One for All by eating a hair. They don’t understand how my brother’s power works. We have some time. But if they find out that Izuku is my son, it could get dicey. They treat children as responsible for the sins of their parents.” Hisashi sighed. “I’ll pick Izuku up as soon as I can confirm the HPSC took him.”
“I’m counting on you, dear. Let me know when you find out whose internal organs I need to rip out for vengeance.” Inko made kissy noises into the phone. “Love you.”
“Love you too.” Hisashi blew kisses back, then hung up.
Hisashi had never been a fan of subtlety, because his idol the Demon King had been the opposite. But based on past experience, this situation required a gentle touch. Once, long ago, Yoichi had been kidnapped by the very early predecessors to the HPSC, who had blamed a group of local vigilantes to cover up their crime. Hisashi had mistakenly attacked the vigilantes and gotten into a feud with them before he finally found his brother. By then, Yoichi had been brainwashed by the government telling him mostly true stories about All for One, necessitating vaulting. Then the vigilantes had actually kidnapped Yoichi in revenge, turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. In conclusion, Hisashi considered the HPSC to be second most responsible for his brother’s death, besides the spiky-haired brother thief.
Hisashi liked to think he could learn from his mistakes. Many people over the years would disagree, but he liked to think it. This time, Hisashi would quietly slip into the HPSC headquarters, remove his son, and leave with no one (including Izuku) the wiser about his true identity.
First, Hisashi stole the identity of Hiro Nakanishi, an HPSC agent. It was laughably easy to convince Hiro not to show up to work. Hisashi called him and told him he’d been assigned to a special mission in Antarctica. Hiro didn’t even ask any questions or verify the caller’s identity before buying a plane ticket. Next, Hisashi used a disguise quirk to imitate Hiro’s appearance. He strolled straight through the front door.
The HPSC headquarters had ten stories of normal offices. They kept all the legally and morally unconscionable stuff in the basement. The extensive underground bunker had five stories. The first story held their classified collection of villain artifacts and possible UFOs (All for One has planted most of them as jokes), the second carried out scientific research vile enough to make Garaki proud, the third story was dedicated to training their child soldiers, and the fourth story held unlawfully detained prisoners. Hisashi wasn’t sure about the fifth story, despite his extensive spy network of “friends.”
The basement door was thick enough for Hisashi to long to steal it for a vault. He swiped Hiro Nakanishi’s identification card.
The door whirred. “Access denied.”
Was it a mistake? Hisashi swiped again.
The door played the HPSC president’s voice: “Agent Nakanishi, I told you to never enter the basement again after you set it on fire. Your new job is to answer customer complaint calls, and you’d better pretend to like it.”
Hisashi groaned. He should have stolen the ID of a more competent agent. If such a person even existed.
Unfortunately, if Hisashi busted down the door, he’d set off the alarm system. But he didn’t see much choice. If he didn’t return with Izuku by nightfall, Inko had threatened to storm the HPSC herself. Even more unfortunately, Hisashi couldn’t use his disguise quirk and his muscles quirk at the same time, because changing his body disrupted the disguise. He did not want the HPSC to see his real face, scarred though it might be. It would raise too many questions about why All for One would rescue All Might’s successor.
First, Hisashi checked the hallway for cameras. He did not find any, presumably because this area wasn’t supposed to exist. Then he changed back to his usual form, his head brushing the ceiling as he grew taller. He could change back afterwards. His arm swelled up and—
Behind him, a young voice asked, “Are you Hisashi Midoriya?”
Hisashi whirled around, fist raised to punch the newcomer instead.
The boy wore an HPSC trainee uniform. He had half-red, half-white hair and a scar across his face. A beautiful power burned inside of him, just begging to be stolen. He smiled. “Ah, yes, it is you. Are you here to rescue Izuku too?”
“Too?” Hisashi’s eyes narrowed. He lowered his arm. This boy looked around the right age to be friends with his son. Izuku talked a lot about his hero friends, but Hisashi never paid attention to irrelevant people. There was still a risk Izuku might get upset if he murdered this one, since they were on first name terms. “Should I know you?”
“It’s wonderful to meet someone who doesn’t immediately associate me with my terrible father.” The boy beamed. “I’m Shouto Todoroki. Nice to meet you.” He bowed politely.
Hisashi did not bow. “How do you know my name?”
Shouto said, “I recognized you as the shadow ruler of Japan’s underworld, All for One. And since I have a conspiracy theory that All for One fathered my best friend, that makes you Hisashi Midoriya.”
This brat who knew too much had just gotten a lot more murderable. But first, it was important to determine how far the information had spread. “Where did you hear the name All for One?” Hisashi offered a handshake and activated his lie-detecting ability.
“Oh, right, you’re from America.” Shouto shook. “I hang out on a lot of conspiracy theory websites. You’re infamous! People say that you’re an alien from an advanced race, that you came back from the dead ten times, that you’re so charming everyone who meets you falls under your thrall, that you puppeteer every government in the world from the shadows, and you only haven’t openly taken over Japan because you find bureaucracy boring.”
“All of that is true,” Hisashi said even though it was at best exaggerated. He loved it when his legend grew. Already he felt better inclined toward this boy. “How did you find out I have a son?”
Shouto looked down at their locked hands. “Huh, Americans shake hands for a long time.” He kept shaking. “I’ve been tracking the underworld thefts of All Might merchandise for years, and it all made sense when I met Izuku and realized you’d been stealing it for your son. You both look alike, too. Don’t worry, I’d never tell anyone. I wouldn’t jeopardize Izuku’s hero career. I’d die before I harmed him.”
This was all also true, making Hisashi like Shouto even more. “Why are you here when the other idiot heroes are chasing after Humarise?”
Shouto scowled. “I told them Izuku had been kidnapped by the HPSC! Those jerks pull the same stunt where they kidnap someone and blame it on another party all the time. They even keep reusing the same note, it was so obvious. But no one believed me.” Shouto’s shoulders sagged. “In retrospect, I shouldn’t have tried to explain how Izuku clearly got kidnapped by the HPSC at the same time I gave them my theory about Lady Nagant murdering the former president because he was her deadbeat dad.”
“You’re actually half-right about that last one,” Hisashi muttered. “Nah, not your fault—heroes are just insanely gullible and unwilling to see the corruption of society.”
“I had no choice but to rescue Izuku on my own. The HPSC has been sending me recruitment emails for years, so I joined their training program to infiltrate them. Let’s team up! Your card doesn’t work, but I have clearance to get us to level four. I can’t make it past the last door, but you can bust it down. If we work together, we can maximize our odds of success.”
It was a good deal. Also, Shouto would make a great front man. If Hisashi rescued Izuku himself, then All Might would have awkward questions about why his supposedly dead archenemy had saved his successor. “Deal, under one condition: you take full credit for the rescue. I was never here.”
“Deal.” Shouto shook one last time, and Hisashi finally released his hand.
When Shouto swiped his badge, the door unlocked with no snarky messages.
Belatedly, Hisashi asked, “Why doesn’t a hero student have any qualms about working with a villain?”
“It’s not like you could be any more evil than my own dad. I may need to fight you someday, but right now, rescuing Izuku is more important.” Shouto pushed the door open. “Besides, I could make an argument that as an alien, you’re not bound by human laws.”
“I like that argument! I might use it someday.”
The first basement floor had stone walls and a magenta carpet. Glass cases spread out as far as the eye could see, forming dozens of rows across the square room.
Shouto ran up to the first case. He mashed his nose against the glass, gazing down at the black staff with copper horns on top. “Whoa! This is legendary! I’ve seen pictures online: the staff of the alien who created quirks. The HPSC always claimed he never existed, but they’ve been keeping this down here.”
“Ah, so that’s where my old staff went.” Hisashi marched over, broke the glass and the alarm too fast for it to sound, and took the staff. “I modeled this after the Demon King’s staff in Captain Hero. It was expensive—well, expensive by my standards back then. Now I have plenty of money. Those damn heroes will steal anything not nailed down. Do they know it’s mine or actually believe it came from another planet? I had a thing going for a while where I pretended to be an alien to my cult. Yeah, I had a cult before I realized they’re always more trouble than they are worth.”
Shouto looked up. “Hmm. Well, you’re an alien, so my theory is still mostly true.” He didn’t sound entirely happy at having part of his theory discredited.
Hisashi decided to throw the boy a bone. “I was the real originator of quirks, not that stupid Glowing Baby. I had no father, so in a sense, I’m an alien lifeform. I infected my mother with a quirk, then her body got eaten by rats and they spread quirks to all of humanity. So the staff really did belong to the creator of quirks.”
Shouto snorted. “No one would believe something so ridiculous. The rats theory has long since been discredited.”
“That was the truth, though…”
“Ooo! A real UFO!” Shouto ran over to a saucer-shaped spacecraft with two pinchers in the middle of the room, resting on a raised platform. “Do you think it can fly?”
Hisashi rolled his eyes. “Of course it can’t. I built that as a birthday present for my brother back when we got along. He used to be deep into science fiction. I encouraged his obsession because of fewer superheroes and Darth Vader being awesome. It’s supposed to be the Millenium Falcon. Is the HPSC too dumb to notice?”
“Oh, dear, that’s clearly a Millenium Falcon replica.” Shouto lost interest and turned away. “Hmm, I wonder if aliens might also be Star Wars fans? It would explain all the Star Wars references in our cities and schools.”
“That was me too,” Hisashi said cheerfully. “I like to bribe officials to live out my fanboy fantasies. Come on, we need to find my son.” He grabbed Shouto by the back of the neck and dragged him toward the door.
“Stop ruining my theories,” Shouto moaned.
Flect Turn staggered to his feet and looked around at his burning headquarters. “This is fine. We can rebuild.” He looked down at his powerless arms and tried not to feel afraid at facing the world without his armor. “I’ll become a symbol to my people. The saint freed of the curse of a quirk. Yes, they will worship me! Being attacked by the number one villain might even give me legitimacy. Adversity brings opportunity. Destiny is still on my side.”
A distant explosion came from the front of the building. All Might bellowed, “GIVE BACK MY BOY!”
Beros ran through the broken door, bleeding and with her uniform tattered. “Sir, we’re under attack by the top heroes, the entire U.A. staff, and a bunch of very angry teenagers.”
Flect Turn looked at the sky and shouted, “I didn’t want this much adversity!”
The air felt chillier on the second floor. They emerged into a narrow corridor lined with doors. Hisashi said, “There’s no need to check behind any of the doors. They’re all laboratories. We’ll only risk raising the alarm if we run into a doctor. Just head straightforward.”
“I know, I got a tour,” Shouto said. “How did you know? Did you steal a blueprint?”
Hisashi shrugged. “Nah, I got imprisoned here once as a test subject. I was just a teenager back then, not as strong.”
Shouto gasped, hand going up to his mouth. “That’s awful. I’d hoped the worst rumors about the HPSC weren’t true…but I knew they were. I’ve seen plenty of hero corruption.” His voice turned earnest, unlike when he talked about his theories.
“Eh, they could only hold me for a week. Second-worst week of my life, in terms of physical pain. I burned the place down when I bailed, but I see they rebuilt it about the same.” Hisashi walked rapidly down the hallway, Shouto trailing after him.
Shouto said, “I believe I’m supposed to comfort you, but I’m very bad at that. What would make you feel better?”
“Oh, I’m perfectly happy remembering the nostalgic screams as I torched this place.” Hisashi laughed. “I’d love to burn it down again.”
“But Izuku is still here. Hmm, what if I share my trauma with you so we can bond?”
“There’s zero need. I don’t like listening to people besides myself talk.”
Shouto spoke anyway: “It all started when my parents had a quirk marriage—”
“Skip to the interesting part.”
“My mother poured boiling water over my face and my father beat me.”
“Oooo, I can top that!” Hisashi said cheerfully. “My mother was an alcoholic teen prostitute who couldn’t even provide me with a bit of breast milk from her corpse. The rats who came to eat me as a baby were the closest thing I had to a father.”
Shouto said, “At least you can kill rats. No one will let me kill my dad, since he’s a hero.”
“Patricide is awesome!” Hisashi agreed. “I wanted to kill my biological father so much I decided to just murder every john roughly the right age in my hometown.”
“Are we bonding?” Shouto asked.
“What, no, impossible, I lack empathy.” Hisashi reached up to touch his face, surprised to realize he’d been smiling. A sincere smile, not his usual smirk.
Shouto said, “Some people say I lack empathy but I just have trouble showing it on my face.”
“That’s the spirit,” Hisashi said. “If you pretend you have no emotions, eventually it becomes true.”
“What if I want to feel normal emotions?”
“Then you’ve picked the wrong mentor in me.” Hisashi reached the door, but of course it was locked. “Right, we need your security clearance.”
Waving his badge, Shouto opened the door.
The third floor held a gymnasium. Hawks lay on a bench, lifting weights. He threw aside the weights and shot up to the ceiling as soon as he saw All for One.
“Beros, I have a vital duty for you,” Flect said.
Saluting, Beros said, “Yes, sir!”
“Go out there and tell the heroes that we surrender. I have intel they might want about an infamous villain named All for One.”
Beros scrunched up her nose. “Ah, I see, a clever ruse. You want me to pretend to surrender, then attack them. In your new, quirkless form, you’re an invincible deity!” She ran out of the room before he could stop her.
Flect muttered, “Oh, well, at least she’ll make a great distraction while I sneak out.”
Hisashi rapidly triggered the disguise quirk and shifted back into Hiro Nakanishi.
Hawks landed, his feathers pointed and ready to attack. “You…did you just…change?”
Calmly, Shouto said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, senpai. I’ve been training with Mr. Nakanishi all day.”
Hawks stared. Hisashi could nearly see the confused thoughts going through his bird brain. The HPSC had never seen All for One post-injury, so Hawks had only been confused at the sight of a bizarre-looking intruder. Naturally, Hawks would assume the son of the number two hero would never sneak a villain in. For someone who claimed not to be good at emotions, Shouto had completely mastered the wide, innocent eyes. After a moment, Hawks said, “I can’t believe they stuck you with Agent Nakanishi, kid. Did you annoy our president?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Shouto said. “Mr. Nakanishi has been very kind to me. He gave me useful tips about using my quirk.”
Hawks cast cool eyes at Hisashi. Obviously, he was still suspicious. He asked, “What tips did you give him?”
Hisashi drew on his extensive knowledge as the master of a thousand quirks who still only ever just punched stuff. “Todoroki here has a lovely quirk, but possible issues with overheating or freezing if he overuses one side. I told him to just tough it out. Only the weak collapse due to extreme temperature. I also told him to test out random new ways to use his power in crowded locations, bystanders make great test subjects. Oh, and I suggested that he should try swallowing some fire to see if he can get fire breath like me—uh, like someone I know. The best way to learn about a quirk is to just randomly try stuff. If you die, then it was Darwinism.”
Hawks’ face relaxed. He laughed. “That’s patented Nakanishi advice, all right. No one can fake that level of stupid. Kid, come by later and I’ll train you for real. Let me finish my workout first.”
“Sure,” Shouto said. “Mr. Nakanishi is taking me on a tour.”
They continued through the gym, leaving Hawks behind. Shouto whispered, “That was brilliant, how quickly you figured out Agent Nakanishi only gives bad advice.”
Hisashi blinked in confusion. “Bad advice?”
“WHERE’S MY BOY?” All Might bellowed as he shook an unconscious Flect Turn. “Huh, wait. Did someone else already beat you up?”
Flect moaned something about the unfairness of the universe. His head lolled sideways. He drooled.
All Might set the cult leader down. “Young Midoriya must have already defeated the villain and escaped. That’s my boy!”
Aizawa stepped over the rubble into the room. “Good, I’m glad you’re done. I could barely hold the kids back from charging in here. Where’s the problem child?”
“I think he already escaped.”
“That or Todoroki was right about one of his crackpot theories.”
All Might and Aizawa looked at each other and at the same time said, “Nah.”
Prison cells with iron bars spread out down the fourth floor, but they were all empty. The chairs and quirk restraints lay abandoned on the floor. Hisashi frowned. “Do you think Izuku already escaped?”
“I wouldn’t put it past him, but these cells have been empty for a while,” Shouto said. “I leaked my information about the HPSC’s secret prison cells to the media a year ago. They denied it, but they had to clean up their act and let everyone out. I’m sure they are planning to start again, but I’ll be watching. Actually, they already started again—with Izuku.”
Hisashi shrugged. “I suppose we’re lucky no one is here to give us away while we search for him.”
Shouto said, “Despite your cold exterior, I know you’re happy no one else has to suffer like you did as a teenager.”
“That may be your most unlikely theory yet.” Hisashi shifted to his original long-legged form and strode down the hallway, forcing Shouto to run to keep up. They had plenty of cells to search—this place was huge. Under his breath, he muttered, “Funny how little this place changed. They only upgraded their quality of restraints.”
Shouto said, “You can’t fight government corruption.”
Hisashi grunted.
Shouto finished, “But you can deal with it.”
Since Shouto kept a completely straight face, it took Hisashi a moment to realize that had been a pun. He snorted. Then he guffawed. “I don’t know why I’m laughing so hard,” he said between gasps for air. “It’s not even that funny!”
Shouto said, “I could try again with another joke. I memorized an entire book as part of my plan to make myself more social.”
Hisashi clutched the wall with one hand, his sides with another. “I never let myself laugh like this in front of other people. Except for family.”
It was a strange feeling. Hisashi had never really just…enjoyed being around some random stranger before. But Shouto was totally unlike anyone else, a unique kind of fun. Hisashi felt like a child with a brand-new toy.
Straightening, Hisashi said, “Let’s find my son.”
They circled every single cell, and every last one was empty. There was no trace of Izuku, not so much as a green hair. Hisashi started to feel…nervous was not the right word. Demon kings did not get nervous. Perhaps uneasy or unhappy.
Could he have been wrong about who had kidnapped his son? Hisashi quickly looked around for someone else to blame. Whirling on Shouto, he demanded, “Was this all a crackpot conspiracy theory of yours? How dare you waste my time?”
“None of my theories involve pots,” Shouto said. “But I do have a theory about the fifth basement floor. It’s supposed to contain a secret weapon. If the internet is right about what it is…then Izuku must be down there.”
Hisashi froze. “Oh, right, the fifth floor. Why is there no door?”
“Because it’s hidden.” Shouto moved slowly across the floor, tapping. He stopped when he heard a hollow sound. “Punch here.”
Hisashi stared. He did not like to admit anyone might have figured out something he hadn’t. It made him feel dumb. But Shouto had slightly impressed Hisashi by knowing so much about All for One (even if most of it was bogus). In the worst-case scenario, Hisashi would still enjoy busting up this place.
Swelling up his arm, Hisashi punched down.
Bits of metal flew up. Hisashi used a quirk to sweep them away and slow his descent. He even uncharacteristically considered saving Shouto too, but the boy burned away the shards on his own, then slid down on a slide of ice.
The very lowest floor of the HPSC headquarters was smaller and round, with paper covering the walls. The notes had detailed instructions and plans on how to defeat All Might if he ever became a threat to the HPSC.
In the very middle, a giant hologram of All Might floated in the air. Izuku stood at the base, grunting as he tried to lift the holographic projector.
“Ducky!” Hisashi cried, running forward.
Shouto ran even faster, using the ice on his feet to cheat. He hugged Izuku. Then Hisashi hugged them both.
“Are you hurt?” Hisashi demanded, looking his son over. “I told you this hero business was too dangerous!”
Izuku rolled his eyes. “Dad, I’m fine. I escaped after the first five minutes.”
Shouto said, “And then you came down here, lured by the siren scent of All Might merch. I knew it!”
Izuku wailed, “I must have this giant All Might hologram! But I can’t lift it!” He latched onto the hologram projector. “I refuse to leave without this.”
Hisashi sighed. “How did you even know it existed?”
Izuku blinked. “How do you think the HPSC lured me here to begin with?”
Shouto darted around the room, lighting the HPSC notes on fire. He said, “We don’t have clearance to be here. We must have already triggered an alarm elsewhere. The agents will be coming soon.”
Hisashi could easily crush the HPSC, but he refused to let his identity be exposed this early in the game. Sighing, he lifted the generator over his shoulder. “If you must have it, then I’ll bring it for you, ducky.”
Using a quirk, Hisashi blasted through the ceiling and flew them away. He didn’t know what the HPSC would make of him shifting his body back to look like Hiro Nakanishi on their cameras. But that wasn’t his problem.
As his very first priority, Hisashi called his wife, who was probably five seconds from storming the HPSC building. Second, he took his son to the family bank vaults to store his latest All Might treasure.
While Izuku was fussing over his hologram, Hisashi turned to Shouto. “I owe you a debt for finding my son. I would have sunk Japan into the ocean if anything happened to him.”
Shouto laughed. “Your jokes are better than mine!”
How to repay this remarkable young man? Hisashi scrunched up his forehead. “Should I give you part of Japan? Make your conspiracy theories come true? Ah, yes, I will offer you a new position in the future world order at my side. You can be a lieutenant on the same level as my son. I’m sure after seeing the dark truth about the HPSC, both you and Izuku want to join me—”
While Hisashi ranted, Izuku sidled over to Shouto and whispered, “Psst! We should run while my dad is monologuing. If not, he’ll try to stick me in a bank vault.”
Shouto nodded and moved towards the stairs.
Izuku whispered, “So I guess now you know All for One is my father.”
“I already knew.”
“Ugh, he’s an embarrassment.”
“Can’t be worse than my dad.”
“He promised he wouldn’t interfere with me becoming a hero, but I don’t trust him. I suppose one day I’ll have to handle him.”
“I won’t tell anyone. Not that they’d believe me.” Shouto hesitated. “I promised your dad to take credit for your rescue, will you help me sell the story?”
“Of course. I’m sure he was mostly useless, you deserve all the credit.”
Just as they reached the top of the stairs, Hisashi said, “I know! I could repay you by killing Endeavor and then adopting you.”
“Hmmm?” Shouto turned around with a hopeful look on his face.
Izuku grabbed his friend and dragged him outside, hissing, “Nope, trust me, not worth it.”
OMAKE TIME!
All for One: I’m impressed you know my real identity, all my evil deeds, and about my son. I thought you had some stupid All Might lovechild theory.
Shouto: All Might is Izuku’s other father.
All for One: You’re lucky you just flattered me enough that I won’t kill you. Never say that again.
Shouto: I get it, divorce is a tough subject. My parents are divorced in all but name.
#
Izuku: Ugh, I don’t know how to stop my dad from embarrassing me by attacking my class or taking over Japan.
Shouto: Since All for One believes vaulting is love, have you considered convincing him that you love him so much you want to send him to Tartarus?
Izuku: It’s so crazy, it just might work.
#
Flect Turn: A feral monster mauled me!
All Might: Sounds like my boy.
#
Yoichi: My dear nephew, I must warn you, All for One will be overprotective and controlling about your love life.
All for One: Izuku, if you don’t put a ring on that boy’s finger then I will adopt him as your new brother. We’re getting him into the family one way or another.
Yoichi: ?!?!?
#
All for One: The chain of events leading to Yoichi’s death all started with the HPSC kidnapping him, so they basically murdered my brother.
Shouto: Weird, I thought he got disintegrated. Did anyone in the original HPSC have a quirk like that?
All for One: THE GOVERNMENT KILLED HIM.
#
Shouto: Izuku, I’m surprised you weren’t more upset about the HPSC notes on All Might’s weaknesses. I thought you’d destroy them before I could.
Izuku: Huh? Wasn’t all that stuff common knowledge?
All for One: No one ever accused HPSC quirk analysts of being good at their jobs.
Shouto: It takes one to know one.
#
All for One: I’m going to repay Shouto Todoroki by making all his conspiracy theories come true. Gigantomachia, you’re going to need to take responsibility for your lovechild, Kirishima.
Gigantomachia: Master, I don’t have any children.
All for One: It was either the lovechild theory, or the theory where you’re dating Garaki.
Gigantomachia: Tralala, I’m so happy about my new son.
#
All for One: I can’t believe you wrote a fic where I have a cliché bromance buddy cop adventure with the number two hero’s son.
Author: You could have rescued Izuku together with Katsuki Bakugo. That would have been even more ironic. Maybe it’s not too late to edit this fic.
All for One: Tralala, I love Shouto Todoroki now.